How to change your character for the better? How a girl can change her life for the better: psychology, useful tips.

Decor elements 18.10.2019
Decor elements

It is natural for every person to want to become better, stronger, more successful. Self-development should take place not only in the first years of life, but also in the subsequent age. Human striving for perfection is always encouraged. That's why the online magazine site is considering how to change character in better side.

If you wait for changes for the better, it will take a long time! A person must understand that changes in life occur as a result of his actions. For example, you change some of your habits - this is already a change that will entail the appearance and disappearance of some factors in your life. For example, if a person quits smoking, then he will have extra money that he can spend on something else, and various diseases associated with the lungs will also disappear.

It is better not to wait for changes, but to provoke their appearance. And this can only happen when you yourself begin to act. Instead of sitting at home, you can train yourself to go out every evening. This will lead you to learn the world, reset excess weight, meet new people. What all this will lead to depends on how you will use your knowledge, the opportunities gained and with whom you will communicate in the future. All this, in turn, will lead to corresponding changes.

It is not life that changes, but the person himself changes the course of his life. Sitting at home at the computer, you can not learn much. And by going out into the street and directly confronting life, you learn to live in it.

It all depends on you in which direction the changes will take place. What is important here is a clear understanding of what you want to achieve, what kind of person to be, with whom to contact and what to possess. If you do not have an understanding of what exactly you want to change in yourself, then this can lead to changes for the worse. For example, you can meet a person who will teach you to lead a wild life. What is so good about it? The fact that you are in the center of attention of the opposite sex. What's bad about it? The possibility of contracting venereal diseases, as well as the absence of any chance to meet a person worthy of your love (serious and family-ready people do not waste their time on temporary walks and acquaintances).

If you wait for changes for the better, it will take a long time! Therefore, start acting in accordance with the desires that you have. You yourself provoke changes in your life if something in it does not satisfy you.

How to change for the better?

The need for change for the better in a person usually arises in certain circumstances. All driven by different motives:

  1. Someone tries for his own sake, and someone wants to please another person.
  2. Some people work hard for relationships.
  3. Some people want to move up the career ladder.

It should be borne in mind that at each stage of life, various circumstances arise that push a person to change. To change for the better, you must first determine what exactly determines the best side.

A person does not change himself, but someone else or the world around him. Quite rarely, people think about what life is created by their own words, thoughts, actions, decisions. You can be rude, or you can ignore the person. Depending on your act, you will receive one or another result, this or that event.

How to change yourself?

  1. Understand that life as it is now does not suit you.

This is important to start any kind of change. You must understand what exactly does not suit you in order to realize what you want to gain as a result of your changes.

  1. Want to change something in yourself, because only you affect your personal life.

Any change happens when you change yourself. Your thoughts, views influence, and they, in turn, make you strive for something specific, completely rejecting the rest. Your words and actions are completely dependent on the desires, fears and beliefs that shape certain events. You need to change yourself, not your life.

  1. Determine what kind of life you want to live.

You must understand what exactly you want to change. What future do you want to achieve? What kind of life do you want to live? How is all this different from what we have now? You must clearly understand everything, because it is impossible to get anywhere if you do not know where to go.

  1. Start changing your mindset and ways of thinking that fit the image you want to lead.

You must change yourself so that your way of thinking, worldview matches the life you want to live. When you become a person who can only live the way you dream, then you will achieve what you want. In the meantime, you are worthy of the life that you are already living now, because you are the ideal representative of this way of being. Change and life will change with you.

Character is much more difficult to change than any quality in isolation. But if the reader has the intention to change, then he can use the following recommendations:

  1. Recognize the reasons for wanting to change. If they are justified, then the changes will benefit. If you are afraid of something, running away from something, or driven by other frivolous motives, then your efforts will be in vain. Man only changes own will, not forced.
  2. Know yourself. To understand what to change in yourself, you must first know yourself. Here it does not hurt to understand the reasons for their own behavior. Pay attention to what exactly (what thoughts and beliefs) make you act one way or another in certain situations. What kind of reactions do you have?
  3. Start changing your reactions or beliefs. To change, you need to begin to control yourself: your emotions, reactions, emerging thoughts and beliefs. Change what is holding you back from doing your best.
  4. Maintain your desire to change. You must remember where you are going and get a boost of energy and an additional desire to move on from this.

As soon as you understand that it is necessary to change yourself in order to change your life, in order to achieve happiness and new heights, the question inevitably arises: how to do this? You probably already have ideas about what steps you should take on the path of your own change. But how else can you help yourself change?

The advice is simple: put yourself in conditions in which you will be forced to change.

In order for a teenager to learn how to make money on his own, parents must stop financing his entertainment. “If you want to have fun, then make money yourself!” And a person is forced to go to work or look for other ways of how to have fun.

If you want to lose weight, then buy low calorie foods. If you want to grow up, start communicating only with adults. If you want to become sociable, take the initiative in your own hands, start conversations with strangers and be in the company of people. Put yourself in conditions where you will inevitably change, because other people will demand this from you, they will teach you this, or you will simply copy someone else's behavior.

How can you help yourself change? You have to start with the desire to change yourself. Determine exactly what you want to change about yourself. And then create or throw yourself into the “whirlpool”, where there are conditions in which you will inevitably have to develop the necessary skills and qualities in yourself.

External conditions always help to change. Simply reading books or doing exercises is nothing compared to real life when you either change, or you are excluded from the circle of society where you would like to be.

How to change for the better for a girl?

Love relationships often push a person to change. When a guy falls in love, he wants to be better for his girlfriend. How to do it?

  1. Watch your appearance. Always be neat and beautiful.
  2. Always be positive. A positive attitude helps to eliminate quarrels and deal with problems more easily.
  3. Take action. Girls love actions. If you do the things that your girlfriend wants to see, then you will definitely become the best for her.
  4. Expand your circle of interests. This will help you become a more interesting conversationalist.
  5. Keep a sense of humor.

How to change for the better for a guy?

When a girl falls in love with a guy, she also wants to be the best for him. How to do it?

  1. Take care of your appearance. The girl is the epitome of beauty. You must always be beautiful, well-groomed and even slender.
  2. Always be in a good mood. Guys like to smile.
  3. Always be interested in a man. Don't forget praise.
  4. Find out the desires of the guy and realize them.

When you are in a relationship with someone, you unwittingly succumb to the influence of your partner. The same thing happens with those people who build relationships with you: you influence them, and they do not notice it. In this case, it is important not how this influence occurs, but in which direction you are changing - for better or for worse.

You can meet a person whom you have not seen for a long time, and notice changes in his behavior and character. Some people become better, more successful, happier, wiser. Others, on the contrary, fall below the level at which they were before: they cease to take care of themselves, strive for any, take care of their health, etc. Some of this changes due to the people with which a person spends his time.

Are you with someone in love relationships, are close friends or communicate, ask yourself these questions:

  1. Are you becoming more loving or selfish?
  2. Are you becoming more outspoken or pleasing?
  3. Are you more forgiving or idealizing?
  4. Are you building an equal relationship with your partner, or is one of you becoming an infantile person?

The answers to these questions will help you determine how relationships with certain people affect you. If you become a more loving, forgiving, outspoken person who builds equal relationships, then your partner influences you positively. But if you become a more selfish, pleasing, infantile person who idealizes his partner and relationships so as not to destroy them, then your interlocutor, friend, loved one has a negative influence on you.

It should be understood that people influence each other. And often this influence is not noticed, and the consequences of such a process appear over time. Therefore, it is better to look in advance at exactly how certain partners influence you, since their presence in your life will affect what kind of person you will become in the future and what kind of life you will live.

Outcome

Self change is good. But there is no need to be zealous. If you try for someone, it does not always bring a positive effect. Try only for your own sake, to make yourself what you want to be. And there will already be people who will like you too.

Let's talk about a very important and relevant topic: how to start changing, how to change yourself and your life for the better? Not so long ago, in an article about I wrote that the life of any modern man does not stand still, changes in it are inevitable in any case, and in order to better adapt your life to such conditions, you must not wait for changes to come from outside, but initiate them yourself: change yourself and your life for the better.

When changes in life come from outside, without the will of the person himself, most often they lead to some kind of deterioration, have a negative effect. You can change yourself and your life for the better only by initiating changes yourself.

However, it is very difficult psychologically for most people to start changing. After all, for this it is necessary to get out of the comfort zone, the creation of which has already been spent a certain amount of time, effort, and possibly money. How to overcome this psychological discomfort, how to change your life for the better - more on that later.

So, first of all, to start life changes, I recommend dividing them into 2 large areas:

  1. Change life circumstances.
  2. Change yourself.

Let me explain. By circumstances I mean all the conditions in which a person lives. Moreover, these conditions can either depend on a person or not, and it is necessary to strive to change those circumstances that do not satisfy a person and depend on him, accepting the rest as they are, even if they also do not satisfy.

For example, personal life, work, profession, sources of income, hobbies, place of residence - these are all those life circumstances that a person can influence, wanting to change his life for the better. But the level of prices, taxation rates, laws of the country - these are already circumstances that a person cannot change, and it is pointless to waste your energy on this. Although, by and large, a person can move to another country, where all this will suit him, but these are already too global changes, I think that those who have just thought about how to start changing are definitely not ready for this.

And if we talk about how to change yourself, then by this I mean changing your own attitude to ongoing processes and phenomena, getting what you need for life.

To start changing yourself and your life, highlight separately the life circumstances and personal qualities that do not suit you and that you would like to change.

A serious mistake many people make when thinking about how to change their lives is that they incorrectly classify any personal factors or life circumstances as independent of them, and at the same time try to change those that really do not depend on them. That is, they evaluate themselves and their capabilities biased. Well, for example, instead of changing something in themselves, they try to change the people around them: their soul mate, their friends, colleagues, the society in which they are. In the global plans of such people - to change their country for the better or save the world from a universal catastrophe.

Good goals? It would seem, yes. The only question is how to go to achieve them. If a person tries to change everything around without changing himself, this undertaking is obviously doomed to failure. Most likely, such a person will only set everyone around him against himself, while he himself will not achieve anything, and the world will not change. As a result, a lot of wasted time, energy, and deep disappointment await him. It would be much more correct to change what is within the power of him specifically: that is, himself and his life circumstances, thereby making his modest contribution to changing the country and the world. After all, the country and the world are made up of people, and if each of them starts to change their lives for the better, both the country and the world will change.

Another common problem is this: many people don't even think about how to change themselves because they think it's impossible. Their life principle: "I am the way I am, and I will not become another." Such inferences are based on the erroneous belief that a person's character cannot be changed. In fact, this is absolutely not the case: you can change the character if you work on it. And in some cases, it can even change itself under the influence of some changed life circumstances.

Thinking about how to start changing, you should understand that if you wish, you can change even those qualities of yourself that, at first glance, seem unchanged. Well, for example:

Appearance and physical data. There are many examples when the "ugly duckling" turned into a "beautiful swan". You need to work on yourself, on your body, go in for sports, and in extreme cases, now there is even an opportunity to use the services of plastic surgeons. If it really helps to change your life for the better, then why not?

Mind and intellect. If there is a desire and aspiration, one can develop one's mental faculties very substantially. Now there are plenty of opportunities for this: you need to read a lot of useful literature, get useful information from the Internet, audio books, video lessons and other sources. There are examples in history when people who did poorly in school later became geniuses and made world-class discoveries.

Beliefs. Many people are prevented from changing their lives for the better by the so-called. . People are convinced that "such is fate, life is unfair, and nothing more can be achieved." This is the wrong position to begin with. Once you change your psychology of poverty to , you yourself will notice how your life will begin to change for the better.

Habits. Changing your habits will also not be a problem, and at the same time such changes will help develop the volitional qualities of a person, which is also very important for changing life for the better. It is necessary to try to get rid of bad habits and develop good ones. It will be a good helper in this.

Financial position. Moreover, this is an indicator that can and should be changed for the better. For this, there are many useful tools, most of which are already described on the site financial genius. If you are thinking about how to change yourself and your life for the better, you definitely should follow one of the directions.

However, the greatest degree of importance in order to begin to change for the better will not be a change in the above-mentioned qualities, but a change in character, namely, will, volitional qualities. Because everything else will follow from that.

In order to change yourself and your life for the better, it is necessary, first of all, to strengthen your strong-willed qualities and change your character.

As I already wrote, this is not easy to do if we are talking about an adult with an already formed character, but it is possible. How? First of all, it is necessary to objectively identify those weak sides character that you would like to change. Then try to do things that are characteristic of the character you are striving for.

For example, you are too timid by nature. So, try to take the initiative as often as possible, take on the role of a leader in the company, do those things that you didn’t do before because of your timidity.

Or are you afraid of a lot. In this case, regularly perform some bold, risky deeds, take advantage of some risky rides, start exercising risk types sports. At first, it will be very difficult for you to overcome your fear, but each time it will become easier, because your character will begin to change for the better.

From individual actions habits are developed, from habits - character, and from character - further changes for the better. Therefore, if you do not know how to change yourself, start with individual actions.

In particular, the following actions will help you start to change for the better:

  • planning something and following your plan exactly;
  • giving up something that seems wrong to you if it is difficult to give up;
  • quick and firm decision-making, without any hesitation and long miscalculations;
  • actions that contradict the expectations of your relatives, relatives, friends, colleagues, acquaintances;
  • rejection of bad habits;
  • giving up unnecessary activities that do not bring any benefit (“hanging out” in social networks, computer games, watching TV, etc.);
  • instant execution important work, which you want to postpone;
  • postponing non-essential work that you want to do immediately;
  • restraining yourself from words that you really want to say (for example, the desire to argue, prove to another person that he is wrong, show off intelligence, etc.);
  • the first step towards achieving a meaningful goal ().

By regularly doing such things, you will begin to change your character, and therefore yourself, your life for the better.

Speaking about how to start changing, one cannot fail to mention the most important thing with which it all begins: setting goals and objectives. That is, you must immediately determine the goals for which all your changes will occur. It will help you to correctly formulate the goal, according to which your goal should be specific, measurable, achievable, supported by resources and indicated in time.

Moreover, it is very important to be able to choose the shortest, optimal path to achieve the goal. Practice shows that many people set the right goals for themselves, but at the same time they do not know how to search for the right way to achieve them.

For example, take the most common goal that most young people set for themselves before entering adulthood: to become rich and financially independent. Right target? Quite, if only to specify it as much as possible (I analyzed how to do it specifically for this purpose using an example in the article)

But how to achieve this goal? Most people think something like this: first you need to study at the institute, get a promising specialty, then get a job in good company, gain experience, climb the career ladder, as a result, become the head of the company and earn good money.

Can a person become rich and financially independent, change his life for the better, if he follows this path? I am sure that in 90% of cases - no. Look around: everyone once imagined changing their lives for the better in this way, but which of them was really able to achieve something in this way? Probably a few out of thousands. And this is quite logical and natural, now I will explain why.

Firstly, wealth and financial independence are not measured by the amount of earnings, but depend simultaneously on the income and expenditure side of the personal budget. There is not a word about planning expenses here. Secondly, in the first 5 years, a lot of money will have to be invested in education (even if it itself is free, which is not easy to achieve, the learning process entails many additional costs). Further, at least 2-3 years of work will be needed only in order to “recapture” the costs of training. Thirdly, relying on the only source of income in order to achieve wealth, especially active income, is at least short-sighted, but rather simply stupid. Fourth, it does not take into account how a person plans to provide himself with at least the most necessary things for life: housing, property. By salary? Ridiculous… Due to loans? You will have to repay debts all your life ... And when will that very wealth come? And if you live in a rented apartment, a good part of even a large salary by today's standards will go to pay rent, and there will be nothing left to accumulate wealth. And what if you suddenly get fired from your job in the midst of the financial crisis? How will loans, rent, and other expenses be repaid? You can find a number of other points that directly indicate that such a path in the vast majority of cases is a dead end. Once again I say: look around, and you will see this in many living examples.

Therefore, if you are thinking about how to change yourself and your life for the better, stereotypical thinking, like the one described in the example above, should be discarded: it will not lead you to achieve your goals. It is necessary to look for an effective, real and relevant for the present time way to achieve the goals.

How to do it? First of all, you need to focus on your own financial future, since the achievement of almost any life goals is inextricably linked with the financial component. Roughly speaking, there will be no money - it will not work to achieve the goal. In the example above, a person, by and large, plans how he will earn money first for his institute (paying for his education), then for his employer (performing work for him and earning him a profit). Perhaps - even to the bank (if he takes a loan). But not to yourself!

If you want to start changing, change yourself and your life for the better, you definitely need to immediately start taking care of. Because success in achieving your goals will largely depend on it. Without financial resources you are unlikely to be able to change your life for the better.

The site was created in order to tell you how to change your life for the better, especially with financial side question, but not only. Here you will find a large number of useful information, advice and recommendations that will help you start changing for the better: both in terms of personal development, and in terms of improving your financial condition and standard of living. Join the number of regular readers, study the proposed materials, ask questions in the comments, chat on the forum and apply the information received in practice. I hope that Financial Genius will help change your life for the better! Until we meet again on the pages of the site!

If the question of whether a person is happy, he says yes without hesitation - it means that how he lives, what he does, the people around him, etc., he is quite satisfied and every day brings him a lot of positive emotions that provide a boost of strength for new achievements. Those who were less fortunate, or rather, who lacked something to fulfill their desires - perseverance, patience or courage, are likely to think before asserting their happiness, because their plans were not realized. Phrases a la “it’s impossible to change”, “I don’t have a strong enough character to achieve more” are absolute nonsense, because according to psychologists it is quite possible to change yourself, and thanks to such changes you can change your life.

Each of us wants to change ourselves in some way: to get rid of shyness or irritability, to become more purposeful or cheerful ... Change does not happen instantly. Transformation is a road that we must walk step by step. What awaits us on the path of change?

1. Insight

In general, everything suits you in the way you live - everything is convenient and seems to be safe. But here's something happening. Bright or completely imperceptible, it violates the usual way of your life, and you suddenly feel an unpleasant stirring of dissatisfaction in your soul. Reality seems to be pushing: think about it, is this the kind of person you wanted to live?

Awareness of thirst changes in one's character comes suddenly. Something happens that breaks the blinders of everyday life, forcing us to rise above the everyday routine and ask the question: “Who am I and how do I live? Am I happy with this? Do I want to always live like this?” Different internal and external events, intense or not, positively or negatively colored. Illness, dismissal from work, good book, cheating spouse or a chance meeting with a friend.

But in fact, this fateful event that provokes insight is just a trigger that opens the floodgates of consciousness for thoughts that previously remained outside of it. Most likely, you have been thinking about this for a long time, but did not fully realize your own dissatisfaction - it was too convenient to live out of habit, without changing anything.

You suppressed irritation, did not notice a decrease in self-esteem, compared yourself with someone who had achieved more ... And then a meeting with a fellow student who touched something inside, causing both delight and indignation with a different way of thinking and way of life ... These moments lead to an acute awareness of the need to change internally - in order to become oneself. Passion for ideas, building plans and fulfilling our desires often paradoxically takes us away from ourselves. We get used to imperfections, limitations, and almost no longer feel tightness and spasms. Therefore, it is so important at the moment of insight not to ignore your own feelings, but to listen and try to understand yourself. Why, for example, it has ceased to be interesting in the company of girlfriends or no longer wants to perform labor feats.

2. Uncertainty

This stage is a test of the strength of our thirst for change. He either affirms you in the desire to become different, or nullifies noble impulses. How valuable are new ideas to you personally? What is it - a manifestation of your nature or a stupid attempt to put on someone else's dress? A period of doubt will help separate the wheat from the chaff...

“It would be great, but ...”, “How will my loved ones take it?”, “Will I find more than I lose?”, “Will I be happier than now?” - these questions overwhelm us as soon as we decide change your life. Any change means taking risks. After all, you are moving away from your usual state towards uncertainty. It is always scary not to be able to predict the future with 100% probability.

However, the stage of doubt is necessary. Uncertainty does not deprive us of the freedom of choice - it only creates the conditions for our choice to be conscious. This stage makes it possible to avoid the mistakes inherent in rash actions. It allows you to assess the importance of what we are going to take, and the risks that we are ready to take in the name of change.

However, if we hesitate too long, it kills in us the desire to change our character. We “cool down”, lose the energy that is necessary for action, and return to the starting position. Perhaps your expectations for change are excessive, and the bar is too high? Ask yourself honestly what do you expect from the changes, do you realize that working on yourself will require a lot of time and effort and, perhaps, the ability to rise after defeats and start again? And if after frank answers to these questions the goal does not become less desirable - limit the time of hesitation and make up your mind.

3. Resistance

After a period of doubt comes a stage of resistance to change. He is characterized by the thoughts “I won’t succeed”, “I am not capable of such actions.” Is this a reason to give up?

Inside each of us lives a kind of saboteur who does not want to change his life and blocks all our efforts. Sigmund Freud was the first to discover this universal property of the psyche and called it "resistance". The function of resistance is to resist awareness of desires, feelings, or ideas that can destroy an established image of ourselves and lead to a change in life or relationships dear to us. Despite the fact that this is the terminology of psychoanalysis, we constantly observe manifestations of resistance in everyday life - remember how often we tend to deny the obvious!

An instrument of resistance is a formed system of attitudes, a kind of filters through which we look at our life. In everyday situations, they are able to help us a lot by automating routine decisions, saving great amount time and energy. The peculiarity of these attitudes determines our character, forms our individuality. “The best is the enemy of the good”, “I am always right”, “I should” - you need to know these attitudes and take them for granted. This will allow them to “correct” them in a situation of making an important decision. At first, this will not always succeed, and even then in hindsight. For example, you realize that the reason for yesterday's quarrel with your husband is that the eternal “I know better” worked. Do not try to force "turn off" your filter with tomorrow. This will only create a "superfilter" designed to control the previous one, and will only complicate your system of installations, slow down the movement towards change. Just know your settings. Being aware of them, you can make a choice, use the usual way of thinking, or try to look at the state of things in a way that is unusual for you.

4. Embodiment of the plan

Internal transformation is a long way from specific small steps-actions aimed at the realization of what was conceived. After going through three stages of change, you have come to perceived need transformations. What happens next? How do you treat yourself? Do you consider yourself largely a good man? A positive healthy self-image will help you move towards your goal effectively and at a good pace, while self-blame, which may have pushed you to work on yourself, will be a serious obstacle. Therefore, self-forgiveness, self-acceptance and a benevolent attitude towards oneself are very important in order for the process of changing one's character to begin.

Violent activity and a sharp transition to a different manner of behavior are not always signs of internal changes. Radical actions rather indicate a superficial belief that everything will happen instantly and easily, while personal transformation implies deep lasting changes that manifest themselves in the most ordinary, everyday actions. These are moments of reflection, spoken words of gratitude to his wife, an attentive conversation with his teenage daughter. Every day, every minute Everyday life doing ordinary things with a goal orientation is a recipe for deep change.

Be kind to yourself. Celebrate your small accomplishments and praise yourself for them. This will help you stay motivated, patient and determined. Your brain does not immediately accept new behaviors - this is normal. Don't rush and don't get frustrated. Maintain a positive attitude and tolerance towards yourself. Perfectionism and haste now will be extremely harmful. Give yourself time change internally and others - to realize and accept the changes taking place in you. And one day you will hear the cherished “you have changed so much!”, uttered with gratitude and admiration.

217 379 6 Life is amazing and beautiful in all its manifestations, with ups and downs, sorrows and joys, pluses and minuses ... Simply because it exists. But if there are more and more descents and falls on the way, depression and apathy prevent you from being happy and does not let go of the feeling that everything has reached a dead end, then it means that it is time to change your life for the better. And you need to do this, even when you don’t want change at all.

We approached the preparation of this article very responsibly. It contains materials from various published publications, conferences, trainings and of course personal experience. The article is filled practical advice, awareness and application of which will certainly lead to changes in your life. We'll tell you where to start. Further actions each person must determine for himself individually, in accordance with what he wants to receive. Well, let's go! How to change your life for the better.

How to change your life for the better

Where do thoughts of life change come from?

Everyone wants to be happy, but in order to make a dream come true, sitting and waiting in one place is not enough. Therefore, we have to act.

First, thoughts come that say that everything is enough, it’s no longer possible! And they, in turn, materialize in actions. This, of course, with a responsible approach to one's own life. After all, you can do nothing to change the situation, bring yourself to a moral void (which is very undesirable, since it is difficult to get out of there). In this regard, with any prompting of the mind and soul to action, it should immediately begin to make the first attempts to change its life.

First steps - how to start change ?

Everyone intuitively knows and feels that start better with yourself. But it is very difficult to do this, and, in general, the first steps are always the most difficult. But the essence of the problem also lies in the fact that it is necessary to choose the only correct path along which it will be necessary to go, without turning, for some time. And also decide what exactly you would like to come to. For this you need:

  1. Do a little research on your life and your own "I". Think about what points you would like to correct, do better, what you don’t like at all, and what aspects it is desirable to eliminate by and large. It is easier to carry out such work not in the mind, but on a sheet of paper, writing down all the exciting points, separating, of course, the positive from the negative.
  2. Then you need to paint each position, that is, write opposite the desired one - why would you like to achieve this? and how to reach the goal. Those items on the list that carry a negative connotation must also be painted, and then crossed out and forgotten about.

It is precisely this action - writing down your desires, aspirations, needs on a piece of paper - that is the first step towards changing your life, becoming better! It's time for a change! The checklist helps to determine the goal most accurately and understand what needs to be removed from life and what to add in order to make it satisfy you.

A start! But one cannot expect instant improvements, transformations and metamorphoses. This process is quite lengthy and difficult. You need to have a lot of patience. Expecting quick changes can only spoil the whole mood, which will lead to an inevitable breakdown and return to your “trough”.

To change your life, you need to tirelessly, constantly work on yourself. It is possible that at first bad thoughts will swarm in the head, the mind will seek all sorts of evidence that happiness is the lot of other people, etc. Almost everyone who has embarked on the path of positive changes sins with this. The main thing is not to stop, pull yourself together and continue! And in order not to slip back into your previous settings, you need to use the following recommendations and ways to change your life in a positive way.

In order to succeed in any business, you need to draw up before starting it. detailed plan actions. So the first recommendation is:

#1 Writing instructions

It is desirable that each maneuver on the way to the goal be considered in detail. This is important, because you can’t forget anything, you need to do everything right. And then you can expect the desired effect.

Remember order in your head and thoughts = order in life! This should become an axiom on the way to change.

How to make a good plan? To do this, you should return to the very first step - your wish list. It already outlines how to achieve each goal. And now this list is very useful. Just so as not to miss a single detail and make detailed instructions from the notes.

Each list item can be represented as a table. For example, there is a target: lose weight .

Obstacles What can help? Actions What will give you what you want?
1. Lack of willpower needed to endure a diet.

2. Addiction to food.

3. Unhealthy snacks.

4. Jamming problems.

1. Literature.

2. Internet.

3. Nutritionist, gastroenterologist and endocrinologist.

4. Marathon with a friend.

5. Motivating pictures.

1. Develop a menu for proper nutrition.

2. Gradually connect the sport (when?).

3. Weigh yourself once a week.

4. Come up with a reward system.

1. Health.

2. Beauty: clear skin, healthy complexion.

Of course, each column of the table can contain many more items. Everything is individual. It will also be useful to start a diary or blog, where, in addition to the goals themselves, you can write down your slightest achievements, describe mistakes, etc.

#2 Set up for the best result

Always, as soon as despondency and bad mood begin to win back positions, you need to to force oneself get back on the positive wave. In any way: read affirmations, do something calming, listen to music, etc. It’s good to always have some motivators on hand for such cases. At least just your list, which lists all the good points that change will give.

You always need to remember for what purpose everything was started. Do not be shy to say out loud to yourself that everything will definitely turn out, write down achievements. After all, they are quickly erased from memory in the face of even the smallest setbacks. Seeing the dynamics of positive changes in front of you, it will be much easier to survive a period of decline.

How to act correctly at this stage? You need to eliminate negativity from your life.

  1. Avoid quarrels and disputes. And, in general, from all sorts of clashes with people.
  2. Always find a compromise. Or you can simply ignore the conflict situation.
  3. Learn to enjoy the little things, pay attention only to the bright, good, positive around you. This leads to good changes and facilitates the transition to a new stage of one's being.
  4. You need to let go of your past.. Forgive yourself all the negative, sad moments, imperfect actions, etc. Now you should think about a new life, but you need to be "here and now."

Of course, on the way to happiness, there will be breakdowns and explosions. But we must not allow them to cross out the entire path and return to the level from which it was started, if not lower. Constant work on yourself will not allow this to happen.

#3 Unnecessary and bad habits are a force that pulls back

This refers not only to alcohol, smoking, etc. But, in general, all the habits that do not let go in a new happy life. What could it be? It's simple:

  • talk to the mother;
  • go to bed late, constantly be in a state of extreme lack of sleep;
  • forget promises;
  • be lazy;
  • put off everything for tomorrow;
  • eat or pass a lot;
  • watch TV often
  • play toys on the phone;
  • forget to wash your hair :)
  • bite your nails, etc.

Everyone will continue the list for himself. There are no perfect people, but no one interferes with striving for perfection. Getting rid of the harmful, and acquiring the useful, you yourself will feel better, more confident in yourself.. Getting rid of addictions is a difficult, but entertaining and important process on the way to how to change your life for the better. This item must be included in the plan for joyful change. And today, start replacing the bad with the good. For example, normalize sleep, exclude watching television from the daily routine, review nutrition, etc. Over time (perhaps not immediately), the new habit will take root and take one step closer to a wonderful positive future. If you know this feeling, then remember it more often: the feeling when you realize that you have done tremendous work on yourself and achieved a certain breakthrough! This will give you self-confidence, strength to move on, set new goals.

#4 Being open to people is moving forward

  • You can not hide from people, your relatives, relatives, friends, colleagues. It means those who can cheer up, support, simply lift the spirit with their presence. If someone you know has something that is on your wish list, then you need to impartially consider the situation and think about what action allowed this person to have your dream. And it is better to ask how he went to this goal and achieved it. Perhaps the advice will be useful, and today it will be possible to fit them into your own plan.
  • Should communicate more with friends. It is not necessary to share your experiences and problems, especially if you do not want to do this. You can just recharge positive energy from a pleasant pastime, conversations dear to the heart. The world seems much more beautiful when there is a person in the world on whom it is possible to rely.
  • But contacts with evil, pessimistic, dull people should be significantly limited. And if possible, avoid them altogether.

good incentive for personal growth is the person next to whom you need to grow, not fall!

By the way, new acquaintances also allow you to move forward, changing your old ideas and attitudes to new life directions. After all, they teach to open up to the world.

#5 Interests and hobbies are the way to go!

We need to remember what we were fond of in childhood. This is often the calling. For example, you really liked to collect autumn foliage or clumsy sticks that look like animals, sew or knit, decorate old furniture, cook or bake, paint something on paper, teach other children new foreign words and so on. Or maybe not in childhood, but in adult and fully conscious life, I wanted to do something, but somehow my hands didn’t reach or I was overcome by doubts. But any person who finds himself in his favorite business is happy. So why don't you be happy too!?

In addition, interests can be quite mundane. If it is a pleasure to read, needlework, play sports, then it is worth allocating time for this. And when it seems that nothing is of interest, it only seems to be. A huge number of things exist in this world in order to distract from sad thoughts and not allow despondency to win and push back to the beginning of the path. There are many interesting courses and classes that can inspire. And inspiration brings joy!

Step by step comes the realization that there is no way back, that the heart is completely open to change, the best and most beautiful changes in life. But these recommendations are not quite enough to turn the world upside down in good sense. Therefore, more tips are vital that will change your life.

How to start new life and change yourself? You don't have to be superhuman to do this. All methods are incredibly simple. The main thing is to start and over time there will be no trace of pessimism, suffering and complaints.

  1. None best practices change life will not help if you constantly clog your body. It is necessary to pay attention to quality and. We are what we eat! It is not necessary to eat only vegetables and fruits with own garden and not drink alcohol at all. You just need to limit the flow of garbage inside as much as possible.
  2. Start learning another language. Not only will this be an amazing mindset, but it will also be a great opportunity for professional change. Sometimes, in an attempt to remember a new word, you begin to think about its meaning, look for synonyms. All this leads to the development of thinking, makes you go beyond the ordinary, thus leading to change. And besides, now the knowledge of the same English is more a necessity than a whim.
  3. Need to read more. Not magazines and other light reading, but something for development in one's specialty. Or classics, sociology, psychology, history, etc. You can not read, but listen. The main thing is that at least one book in 7 days. It turns out about 52 per year. Fifty-two works that are sure to change lives.
  4. Weekends should not be spent on the couch. Anywhere - in the gym, outdoors, museum, cinema, exhibition, in another city or visiting relatives. You can even jump with a parachute, learn to ride a horse, type blindly, etc. The main thing is to accumulate more impressions, they fill life, it becomes much more interesting with them. You don't have to sit still. It is necessary to expand the horizons and the area of ​​contact with the world. Change starts with movement.
  5. A personal blog or diary will help you deal with problems faster than they become unbearable.. Their usefulness lies in the ability to reason, think and analyze. And it is better to write in them about what you love most. And if personal diary maybe no one will read it, then the blog will certainly find its fans, and also help to earn extra money. And doing what you like and getting paid for it is the dream of many. Indeed, very often the opposite is true.
  6. If you learn to manage your time, it will become much easier to live. It is necessary to develop the habit of making decisions right away, acting today, and not tomorrow or “later”. Everything that is planned must be done or shifted onto the shoulders of another. But, the main thing is that the planned cases are completed, and not postponed indefinitely. Otherwise, they will become dead weight, pulling down. And we need to fly up! And it would be nice to remember everything that was not done and write it down. Find out whether there is a need under the circumstances to complete these cases. If not, then with peace of mind they can be crossed out. If yes, then make them soon. This will bring incredible relief and release many new and much needed forces.
  7. You should abandon the stupid pastime on the Internet, especially from games that steal not only time, but also life. If you use the unlimited possibilities of the network, then only with benefit - for development, training, work, etc. And it is better to communicate with friends live. What could be more beautiful than personal meetings, conversations, tactile sensations, laughter, smiles? Shared pleasant memories are created in this way, and not by emoticons on the World Wide Web.
  8. To stop being interested in the news does not mean to lag behind the world. Everyone will talk about the main thing. And everything secondary and superficial only interferes with life, causing unnecessary unrest, feelings and obscuring something really important. It's all confusing.
  9. No wonder there is such a proverb - who gets up early, God gives him. Having learned to spend the morning hours with benefit, you will soon notice how much more things you can do in a day. Much more than when you go to bed late. A person needs 7 hours of sleep to sleep, provided that he leads healthy lifestyle life. If you go to bed at 23.00 and wake up at 06.00, then during your wakefulness you can turn the whole world upside down. Today, more and more authors and personal growth coaches are advised to start their day as early as possible. People are showing amazing results! There is no limit to admiration when everything is done before lunch and there is time to do something else or do something for your own pleasure.
  10. Travel is one of the ways to change yourself and your life.. It is not necessary to fly to distant Australia to understand how diverse the world is. You don't need expensive tours to realize that it makes no sense to count your small space the whole Universe - it is much wider and goes beyond the limits of consciousness. Traveling makes a person more tolerant, indulgent to his own weaknesses and others, wise and calm.
  11. Creativity allows you to completely change the worldview. Creativity develops the right brain, which helps us to do several things at the same time, without ignoring the details. It doesn't matter what kind of art you do. The process itself is so captivating that there is no time for sadness, melancholy and despondency. Much of what seemed unrealistically important and brought pain recedes and becomes secondary, and then completely disappears without a trace if a person is passionate about something. You can practice:
  • photography,
  • drawing,
  • singing,
  • dancing,
  • design, etc.

The main thing is that the work gives pleasure. Perhaps in the future it will be able to generate income. To realize yourself in something is very important!

Creative activity has amazing therapeutic properties. It allows you to survive the pain of loss, longing, hopelessness.

  1. Exercising tones the body and provokes a surge of happiness hormones.(and improve metabolism). And that is exactly what we are striving for. Therefore, regular physical activity must be one of the points of the plan to change your life.
  2. Need to get out of your comfort zone. You don't have to do anything extreme to get started. It’s just worth visiting a place where you have never been, getting to work in a different way, changing appearance or image. Even the simple rearrangement of furniture helps. Sometimes leaving is a painful process, but more often than not, it is what spurs you on to start a new life. This is quite interestingly written in the book of the same name "How to get out of the comfort zone" by Brian Tracy (Brian Tracy) publishing house MYTH. It should be read by anyone who has decided to embark on the path of changing their lives.

  1. It is necessary to restore order in the financial sphere. Control of expenses and incomes, investments and other economic aspects must certainly be present in the plan of a person who wants to change his financial situation. Since nothing can unsettle as financial difficulties. A blow to the wallet stops us on the path to change and at such moments even think about creativity and healthy eating do not want. Include the problem of money in your Checklist: take an additional part-time job, pay your loan on time, change jobs, ask for a raise, etc.
  2. Throw out unnecessary things. Do not take them to a barn or garage, but to get rid of them or give them to someone. And constantly maintain a balance - acquiring a new one, removing the old one. Old things are the ballast of the past. Which reaches for you until you remove it from your eyes. To delete, you need to throw it away. Psychologists advise sorting through your things as often as possible and throwing away those that you have not used for more than one year. Internet is full of large quantity projects about getting rid of unnecessary things that really give results.

An interesting interview with a blogger who promotes personal example proves that it is possible and necessary to get rid of unnecessary things, as well as what this leads to.

  1. It is important to be able to accept the world "with all the giblets." Refuse assessments and analysis, take a neutral position, but rather a positive one. Eleanor Porter's wonderful book "Pollyanna" teaches you to see the positive aspects in everything very well. You should read it to the end, this girl, the heroine of the work, will teach anyone to enjoy life, even the most inveterate pessimist.
  2. Leave the past in the past. It needs to be done! To move on! No matter how good or bad this time may be, it will pull back, which is dangerous for positive change. We must say “thank you” to him for the lessons, experience, good impressions, pleasant memories and other positive moments and let him go in peace. The past has no place in the present, much less a happy future.

And you also need:

  • give more than take
  • share your knowledge,
  • do not be afraid and do not stop in front of obstacles,
  • do what you like;
  • develop;
  • to study;
  • change from within.

Of course, and that's not all. There is no limit to perfection. But all the ways to change life for the better come down to the fact that you need to change yourself first of all. And then the world will change in response!

But what is stopping you from starting a new life? The enemies of positive change are the mistakes that reformers make. It is they who lead to the fact that any positive decision ends in defeat and a return to the starting position, if not worse.

5 mistakes that stop positive change

  1. The main aggressor opposing positive changes is our brain. Very often people forget that its function is to save lives, and not to make a person financially secure and happy in all areas. And he perceives the usual way of life, the established way of life, as a safe niche for existence. Anything that goes beyond this will be perceived with hostility. That is everything new he considers dangerous and threatening human life.

Therefore, taking important decision to start positive changes, it is important to agree first with yourself. Failures will be avoided not by the specifics of the goals (although it is also extremely important), but by the simplicity of the steps to achieve it. That is, the most immodest aspiration should be painted in such a way that our defender does not have a desire to give a signal to record a dream as unrealizable.

This influence itself is easy to notice when one specific positive thought in terms of changes for the better, there are a million thoughts-excuses from implementing the goal in life. For example, did you decide to run every morning? How about:

  • Bad weather?
  • Will people watch?
  • Sneakers are not normal!
  • I don't have the energy to do anything today!

Therefore, you need to think through everything to the smallest detail!

  1. It is often believed that in order to start changes, you only need to make a decision and that's it, then somehow everything will turn out by itself. Of course, a solution is needed. But in order to achieve the goal, it must be specific. Well, it’s not enough to say: “That’s it, I’m starting a new life tomorrow!” Without having an idea of ​​what it will be like in principle. If there is no clearly defined task, there is no understanding of what exactly the result should be, then all the advice on how to change your life for the better may be useless. Because the lack of specifics deprives the brain of the ability to understand the goal and issue a solution to the problem in the form of steps to action.
  1. The third mistake is the desire to achieve something without an appropriate supportive environment. This is real, of course, but it will require a huge amount mental strength and nerves, the presence of the most iron willpower in the world and persistent indestructible motivation.

There will always be someone (and more than one) who will undermine confidence, strongly persuade you to turn off a new life path. Perhaps they will be close friends. Of course, you should not break off expensive relationships. But enlisting the support of a community that would share the views on a new life is very important.

  1. Another mistake that many who embark on a path of change make is the lack of encouragement. They should be for even the slightest achievement. Because everything needs balance. And it is necessary that the discomfort from the changes (and it will be) is equalized by pleasant, albeit small, but gifts to oneself. For example, for a week of proper nutrition - a good body cream, which has long been dreamed of. For a month - a beautiful dress. It is, of course, for women. Men have their own stimulants and motivations.
  1. Mistake number 5 - do not tell anyone about your decision to start a new life. It comes from the fear that nothing will work out. And in fact, it leads to the fact that it is not possible to implement the plan. A saving thought arises in my head: “It’s good that I didn’t tell anyone anything,” etc. In general, vicious circle. It is not right. You need to speak about your decision, and loudly and confidently. This fact imposes some obligations and indicates the seriousness of intentions. And gives strength and energy for success!

Audacity and courage in any undertaking are the components of future success. But besides this, some other aspects are important.

  1. Start your day right. Avoid office conversations in the morning tapa “How tired I am of morning traffic. Wish the work day was over. The kids don't listen to me at all, I'm exhausted. I'm completely exhausted." Think about the pleasant things in your life, smile more often. Mentally fix every time you think about the negative and transform it into a positive direction.
  2. Appreciate what you have. We constantly want to achieve something, get something that is not on this moment. Is always. Having acquired one, we immediately begin to think about the next item on the wish list, which is endlessly updated. And there is no time to just enjoy what you have. And it turns out that life is a game where you have to constantly think about how to move to another level. But still it is very important to stop at least for a short moment and thank higher power for all. The ability to thank yourself, God, the Universe for what you have important point which is often underestimated. Saying grateful phrases to yourself allows you to realize the good that you have, gives you the strength to receive a new one.
  3. Take responsibility for yourself. You need to realize that everything that happens is the result of a choice once made. Don't blame others for your own problems. On the contrary, you should get together and start right now to change the created with my own hands and thoughts situation. And then do not forget that no one else can control your life, cope with obstacles and be responsible for your actions and actions. It's difficult, but necessary. An outsider can influence the choice, but only you make it!
  4. Help other people, take care of loved ones. Like it or not, love begets love, and a good deed always returns to its source.
  5. Listen to your inner voice, trust your intuition.
  6. Forgive yourself and others. We all know that forgiveness is the best medicine for the soul. We know, but we continue to bear resentment in our hearts for years, destroying ourselves and our lives with this poison.
  7. Eliminate forever from your being such phenomena as laziness and fear. They are the main obstacles on the road to happiness. Laziness arises because you cannot be transported to another life with one click. To do this, you need to work incessantly, constantly act, which you really don’t want to do. But fear can only lead to the fact that, without daring to step into a new life, you will have to end the old one, without knowing what real happiness and joy are.
  8. Don't beat yourself up if something doesn't work out.. It is better to praise for the efforts and encourage to further action, and not assure yourself of your own worthlessness and abandon all your undertakings.
  9. Accept what can't be changed. Leave it alone. And then so you can all your best years spend on fighting what isn't worth it.
  10. Need to live own life, not someone else's. Therefore, you should determine your true desires and goals, and go only towards them, and not fulfill someone else's will imposed from outside.
  11. End the day right. Never lie down in bad mood and in no case do not swear with loved ones before going to bed. Go to bed on time, even if you feel that you still have the strength to work. You'll get it right in the morning.
  12. Remember that there is always the potential inside to change your life for the better.. And for this you don’t need “tomorrow”, “Monday”, “when I lose weight”, etc. You can and should start right now!

Go back to your wishlist. Review it again and know that all of this is achievable. But you need to understand that even the most shabby dream will remain so if you do nothing and continue to live in the power of stereotypes. Expand the boundaries of your consciousness, learn, develop, change yourself. And then amazing changes will not keep you waiting.

A must watch video on how to change your life. "Instruction for Life"

Every person at least once in his life thinks about how to become better, and how to change for the better.

Why do we have these questions in our subconscious mind, how to change for the better, and how to become better?

The answer is simple, we are not perfect, and although the confidence of some can be envied, sooner or later everyone begins to analyze their actions, character, habits and what has happened in their life with the help of these factors.

If you are also faced with the question of how to become better and how to change for the better, it means that the turning point and inevitable moment has come in your life when you need to change something in order to end the streak of hopelessness, disappointment and resentment.

To become better and change yourself for the better, you need to work hard on yourself, change your perception of the world, improving your internal and external qualities.

How to change for the better, and how to become better

There are a few simple rules that you need to use to change and change your life.

Getting Better: Intrinsic Motivation

The first rule on how to become better, and how to change for the better, will be the formation intrinsic motivation, namely: why do you need it.

Often, because of the fear of losing something in our lives, we do not dare to radically change and change our lives.

But if you tune in to the fact that a way out of this or that situation can be found, and understand that nothing will change without your specific actions, only then can you begin to change.

If you don't have money, you shouldn't whine that life is hard, you should start working. Having fallen ill with a serious illness, in order to survive, you must give up those factors that can worsen your condition.

If you really have complexes about your weight, dream of meeting your love and this prevents you, stop feeling sorry for yourself, you need to start exercising, persistently moving towards your goal.

On the way to change, you must realize that it is better to change than to lose what is so precious.

How to change for the better: the hardest thing to start

Of course, there is no specific action or rule that will give you exact instructions on how to become better.

It is clear that only one desire to change is not enough. To change your life for the better, you need to start making efforts, and not small ones.

Analyze what prevents you from being happy, what bad habits and character traits you need to get rid of.

Start changing gradually, stepping confidently towards your goal. Changing everything at once is an unrealistic task, but gradual changes are exactly what you need on the way to perfection.

How to change for the better: we analyze our mistakes

On the way to the goal, how to become better, and how to change for the better, you need to force yourself to analyze your character and your human qualities.

To do this, make a list of your positive, in your opinion, qualities, and those that you or your loved ones consider negative.

It's hard to make a list of your shortcomings, because you have to admit that you are doing something wrong, and this is not always easy. However, by making such lists of pros and cons, it will be easier to come up with what exactly needs to be changed and where to start in the first place.

After the list of shortcomings is in front of you, think about how to replace these traits and qualities with virtues. For example, if a person is very lazy, then he needs to start moving and doing something.

If a person constantly grumbles, then you need to try to calm yourself down from such actions. Ask how? Yes, at least putting a bracelet on your hand, and every time, saying nasty or unpleasant things, shift this bracelet to the other hand. Knowing that every time you must perform this action, you will learn to watch your words so as not to do this.

How to become better: think positively

If you only have negative thoughts in your head, you are unlikely to be able to change anything. This is an abyss from which you will not be able to pull yourself out if you do not change your perception of the world.

Of course, everything in life is hard, and it is not so easy to take and start thinking differently, but negative thinking affects your emotions and feelings, and therefore your actions.

Try to get rid of irritation, do not feel sorry for yourself, stop gossip and the negative will at least partially leave your life.

Control what you say, watch your actions. Little by little, you yourself will begin to notice how you begin to change.

How to become better: external changes are also important

The next rule on how to become better, and how to change for the better, will be external changes.

Starting to change inside, you must reinforce the result with external changes. Try to forgive the wrongs of those people who made your life bad. Learn to love yourself and connect with people without fear. Smile more, because seeing happy person in front of you, and others will begin to perceive you differently.

Change your image, make interesting acquaintances, choose new hobbies for yourself, and you won’t even notice how everything starts to change little by little.

How to become better: a plan and a clear visualization of the result

You can’t try to change something without a clear plan of your actions and without visualizing the result.

You must clearly set goals for yourself, and imagine what result you should expect. Visualizing what you want will help bring you to your desired goal faster.

And now let's move on to points that are also very important if you are wondering how to become better, and how to change for the better. Perhaps they may be unpleasant for you, but you should also keep these factors in mind.

How to become a better person: remember - no one owes you anything

The world is imperfect, and you can be a thousand times good and perfect, but if society does not need all these qualities of yours, you become bad and wrong in the eyes of others. People expect something from you, if you don't give people what they expect from you, you fall into the Not Relevant category.

Why so: so because you are part of a system that sets its own rules, and if a person does not fit into the parameters of this system, he automatically becomes unnecessary.

A person should become better not only in his own personal qualities but also in the aspect of coexistence with other people.

Nobody owes you anything, people are cruel, and if you yourself do not want to become someone in this world and show that you are a person, nothing will change.

How to be a better person: you are your job

You must understand that no matter how kind you are, you are not your inner qualities, but what you do. You are your job, and your job is who you are.

A person does a lot of things every day. Even being a mom and a housewife is a lot of work that determines what you are worth in this life.

If you want to get better, you have to think about what you do and how it benefits people. After all, people perceive you by what you do, and what sense they have from these actions.

Remember, the money you earn is not as important as the value you bring. To become successful person, to change for the better, you should not sit, thinking about how to become better, but start working on yourself with maximum perseverance.

Don't expect to change for the better right away. Your inner self will resist development and change.

To make it easier to move towards your goal of becoming better, you should try not to take any criticism as an insult. Try to understand that no one will do something for you, and if a person gives you his opinion about you, he is doing you a favor by telling you what is wrong. Happiness and success requires effort, not awareness of one's helplessness.

Go ahead, if everything is still bad, you have nothing to lose. Change against everyone and everything.

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