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Publication 2017-11-03 Liked 12 Views 17675 Talk...
Relationships at work between colleagues
When relations with colleagues do not develop well, then work turns into a nightmare, where everyone tries to ruin the life of the team and leads intrigues. There are some companies that create a friendly atmosphere inside. But often this turns out to be an illusion. There is a struggle between employees and bosses, in which there are no losers and no losers.
You may not participate in squabbles and conflicts and be a calm person by nature, but this does not mean that all the people around you are also set up. It is hard to work in these conditions, if everyone wants to pull the blanket over themselves.
How do you get along with colleagues and build relationships with your colleagues?
Be yourself. Be decent, sincere, control your emotions, the person you really are.
Do not take all the work on your shoulders and do not compromise all the time, it is unlikely that you will achieve great success in your work. Western psychologists have come to this conclusion that if a person does everything for others, he suppresses his own desires.
If a person in the team spreads gossip about you, do not take the words of this person seriously either. Don't worry about people who don't like you. Make friends and communicate with people who will appreciate you and your friendship.
Who you are?
There are many people working in the office. It can be impossible to remake at least one, it remains to work on yourself. There are several types of employees, and they bring "distemper" in the team. If you suddenly recognize yourself in them, you should listen to the advice.
Anxious
The girl is good, but an alarmist. With her gloomy forebodings and fears, she does not allow her colleagues to work: “We will not have time to hand over the work on time.” Excessive suspiciousness spoils her mood and increases nervousness in the team.
Advice: learn to hold back. You don't have to voice your concerns. It is better to build a job so that there is no reason to worry and there is no rush job.
Failsafe
Colleagues often tell such a lady that it is impossible to be trouble-free. True, they use this and, on occasion, try to shove her work. The team treats her with disdain, although she works the hardest.
Advice. Reliable people need to discern where your own responsibilities end and someone else's problems begin. Practice saying no.
Helpless
They say about these people that their hands grow out of the wrong place. Even the easiest assignment turns into a difficult one. The girl constantly "hurts" her colleagues, asks questions about how to do it.
Advice: the child will not walk on his own if he holds on to his mother's skirt all the time.
Aching
If she appears on the doorstep, then everyone gets to work. Now the conversation will come that everything is bad, that everything hurts her. Gradually, colleagues understand that the best way to communicate with a girl is not to communicate with her at all.
Advice. Do not feel like poor Lisa, do not discuss your personal problems and health at work. This will help maintain normal relationships with colleagues.
Be friendly, do not allow close relationships. Control emotions. Relationships must be strictly business-like. Do not forget about decency and sincerity. Don't try to be better than you really are.
Working in a team involves constant communication and contact with absolutely different people. And that means you can't always find mutual language absolutely with all colleagues and you will have to work hard to build relationships at work with colleagues and superiors. Our secrets from office old-timers will help you.
AT work collective, as in any other, conflicts cannot be dispensed with. However, if you know how to find a common language with any person, it will be much easier for you to avoid conflicts, or at least significantly mitigate them.
To do this, think about and divide all colleagues into types:
Perfectionist
Such people cannot be satisfied with just a job well done - they need an ideal. Any deviation from the perfect pattern causes resentment in the perfectionist.
He makes high demands on all his colleagues, including himself. Remember that it is very difficult to find a common language with such a person, especially if he is the boss. His work requirements are almost impossible to fulfill, which means that every time you hear reproaches that something could have been done better.
To build a relationship at work with a perfectionist, don't dwell on that person's remarks. Often, dissatisfaction with others is caused by dissatisfaction with his own person, because he makes such excessive demands not only on others, but also on himself. If your manager is unhappy with your work, try to rationally and calmly explain to him that it is not always possible to bring things to the ideal.
"I shouldn't do this"
Such employees can be found in any team. These are the people who, under any pretext, refuse to perform even the easiest task. Their catchphrase is often "That's not my job." It is difficult to communicate with such employees, and even more so to establish relationships at work, because they always believe that they are doing someone else's work, doing someone a favor, and the like.
It is possible to stimulate such employees to perform work, because almost all of them strive to build good career. In this case, the performance of work that is supposedly not part of their duties should contribute to climbing the career ladder.
Gossip
It is also a fairly common type in any team. These people like to spread rumors in the team in anticipation of a response or simply for the sake of attracting attention. To build relationships at work with such a person, remember that gossips to some extent seek power over colleagues, because having information and spreading gossip, they can easily lead to conflict in the workplace and spoil the working atmosphere.
If rumors spread about you, and you know about it. The best option would be to tell your colleague the true facts. Thus, interest in the gossip will disappear, because colleagues have learned the truth from you, which means they no longer need to invent something and guess.
It has long been proven that our thoughts can materialize. And this means that any person from the team who offends you needs to be introduced a good man. Try to reconsider your attitude towards people around you. In every person, if you wish, you will find some good qualities. So focus on them, try not to notice the negative.
Your job now is to turn the negative into a positive. During a conversation with a person who is not very pleasant for you, try not to express your dislike, try to control yourself. Think about how it will look from the outside if you are rude and rude. Under no circumstances should this be done. Know how to listen and hear what you are told.
On the very first day of your stay in a new workplace, immediately think about how to build relationships with colleagues. Here you can not hesitate, otherwise you risk being on the list of singles. To build relationships at work, don't try to stand out from the door. Try to show your skills at work, show that you are a good and responsible worker.
Ask questions about your work, if you know how to help colleagues at work, then support them in matters in which you are competent. If you are busy with something, and you are approached with some kind of question, tactfully ask to wait a little while until you are free.
Take an interest in the affairs of colleagues more often, listen to their stories without interrupting. To improve relationships at work, in a conversation with an interlocutor, smile more often in a friendly way, look into the eyes of your interlocutor. Show that you care about what the conversation is about.
It is very good if you manage to establish a trusting relationship with that person who is an authority, a leader in the team. Then it will be easier for you to communicate with the whole team. After all, everyone trusts this person, listen to his opinion.
The work team is a social group in which the relationship and communication between group members is very important. And a good relationship with the leader is even more important.
This affects both the atmosphere in the team and your personal success at work. But how to improve relations at work with superiors, if the leader, to put it mildly, is not an easy person? How to find a common language with the boss, so as not to be considered a sycophant?
It also depends on how well the relations in the team and with the authorities are. How well you will perform your duties and how long you will last in your position. If conflicts in the team can only lead to moral discomfort, then misunderstanding in communication with superiors can lead to demotion or dismissal. Therefore, you should remember a few basic rules in order to know exactly how to build relationships with superiors.
1. Don't take everything too personally.
No job can avoid reprimands and disapproval from superiors. Therefore, you should not take any remark from the leader as the end of the world or a declaration of war.
To improve relations with the boss, it is better to listen to his words, perhaps he will really help you correct some mistakes. If his claims are not substantiated, and he is simply dissatisfied with everyone, then there is no point in dwelling on his words at all. Therefore, there is no need to criticize your leader in the team, to condemn him for picky and strictness. It is possible that you, in the place of the leader, will do the same.
2. No need to be afraid
No matter how despot your boss is, you should not be afraid of him and avoid communicating with him. If you are hesitant to submit a document drawn up by you for the director's signature, he may conclude that you are not working. If you try to show yourself to the authorities as little as possible, they will conclude that you are simply not working or hiding something.
It would be right to communicate with the director, to seek contact with him, to appear before his eyes as often as possible. Thus, he will see you as an active, proactive employee, which means that your value will rise.
3. Don't over-communicate
Constantly being in front of the authorities is also not the best option. In everything, as you know, you need to know the measure, so you should not turn into annoying fly and follow on the heels of the boss. Too often, your appearance in front of the eyes of your superiors can also arouse suspicion.
4. Be careful
Try to study your boss carefully. Start from day one on new job. Capture his habits and personality traits. If you know for sure that in the morning he does not need to be approached with important questions, but it is best to do this in the afternoon, then you can avoid many conflicts. It is always good to know what words calm a person and what actions can piss him off. This information will always be useful to you in finding a common language with your superiors.
Every job has its own team. And it is very important not to stay away from him, you need to know how to build relationships with work colleagues. How comfortable you feel in a team depends on how long you will work in this company.
Indeed, in the event that you do not work well with the team, if conflicts constantly arise at work, most likely you will have to quit your job very soon and look for a new job. To prevent this from happening, start building relationships with the team from the first minutes of your stay in a new place.
Why does one person go to work with pleasure, and the other - with reluctance? This is due to many factors. For example, is a person interested in this activity whether the salary, job responsibilities and other working moments are satisfactory. It is impossible not to pay attention to the presence of another important aspect, which determines whether the employee loves his place of work -
In any company, employees, one way or another, interact with each other, and relationships in the team may not be the easiest. Each employee has certain knowledge and skills necessary to perform duties. All employees are different. Because of this diversity, separate groups appear in the unit, united depending on professional activity, education, community of views.
The ability of the manager to establish relationships in the team largely depends on how successful the business will be.
The psychological climate affects the mood of employees, their interaction and mutual understanding, satisfaction with the work performed.
We are talking not only about the fact that sanitary and hygienic conditions, temperature, humidity, and illumination must be observed. The most important thing is how relationships are built in the team.
A favorable environment can be described as follows:
If the situation is unfavorable, then the socio-psychological relationships in the team simply cannot contribute to successful work. Of course, in such a situation, it is not worth believing that employees will work productively. It is important to understand that relationships in a team are highly dependent on the behavior of leaders, on how much attention they pay to their subordinates.
The manager should understand what relationships between people in the team can be, and how to ensure a healthy climate at work.
Practice shows: the smaller the team of the company, the more united and friendly it is. Such firms do not spend too much money on corporate events - usually employees simply drop off and celebrate the event right in the office or go to an entertainment venue together. With the growth of the company and the formalization of all aspects of its life, certain goals are set before corporate events, respectively, new problems arise related to the organization of holidays.
The editors of the magazine " CEO» offers overview of activities, which will favorably affect the microclimate in your company.
The first and the main type of relationship in the team is the relationship "supervisor" Any organization exists precisely due to the interaction of the head and employees, and if it is weak or completely absent, then the probability successful work company is reduced to zero. The chief is a kind of leader who has power and authority. The manager tells employees what they need to do, gives instructions, monitors how his instructions are carried out, can punish and encourage employees. good manager knows how to properly communicate with subordinates, has the qualities necessary for effective interaction.
The second type of relationship characterized by friendly communication, the presence of common interests that may be associated with professional activities or be outside of work. Working friendship has both advantages and disadvantages. If employees maintain friendly relations, then it is easier for them to deal with production issues. However, there is a possibility that subordinates united by friendly ties will use working time to conversations, discussions that have nothing to do with professional duties. The nature of the relationship in the team determines how much the staff is passionate about work or extraneous issues.
To the third kind include relationships in the group and the team that arise between employees in connection with the work process. Such people have nothing in common, except that they are on the same team and work in the same place. As a rule, such relationships in a team arise between specialists who work together, but due to the nature of their activities, for some other reason, they cannot or do not want to communicate more closely.
The fourth type is characterized by equality between frames that are not connected by a subordination structure. Of course, one cannot exclude the emergence of one's own hierarchy, because sooner or later a leader appears in the team. However, such a leader does not have the ability to influence other employees. He has a certain authority, he is revered by colleagues, he is popular. You probably guessed that at the very bottom of this hierarchy are employees who partially perform the duties of a kind of leader.
We offer you to get acquainted with an interesting classification of relationships in the team, which was proposed by the American researchers Blake and Mouton.
It takes into account two parameters: attention to the person (the degree to which the interests of employees are taken into account) and attention to production (the degree to which the interests of the business are taken into account). Consider five types of relationships in the team, which differ depending on the psychological situation.
Of course, this model is not universal. Each specific situation may have its own characteristics.
Let's get acquainted with another interesting study on interpersonal relations between a leader and subordinates, which was proposed by two Americans - Hersey and Blanchard.
This approach assumes that the management of employees and their emotional support are determined by the professional maturity of the boss, with the growth of which he manages subordinates, pays less and more attention to helping them, instilling in them faith in their own strength. When a manager reaches an average level of maturity, he gives less direction and provides less assistance, because the employee has already learned self-control. If guardianship is reduced, then the subordinate perceives this as trust from the boss.
This approach has four types of relationships: ordering, suggestion, participation and delegation.
command is used if the employee is unable to perform tasks independently and does not take responsibility. In such a situation, the manager gives the employee complete instructions, directs his actions and does not trust him completely.
Suggestion it is relevant if the employee has a high or medium level of maturity, that is, he is already ready to take responsibility for his activities, but not one hundred percent. It is important for the employee to feel supported in the performance of tasks.
Participation is effective method if the employee has an average or high level maturity. An employee can perform tasks on his own, he does not need guidance, but psychological support, joint discussion of problems and decision-making.
Delegation relevant if the employee has a high level of maturity. The leader can delegate authority to him, and this implies a weakness in management and emotional support.
Of course, the choice of a manager's behavior strategy depends on many circumstances, and it is important to take into account the peculiarities of relationships in the team. However, in the typical situations described above, you can be guided by the options given.
As a rule, the dissatisfaction of subordinates arises if:
In order not to solve the issue with the dissatisfaction of the team, it is better not to bring it up to it at all. This is what you will learn from .
Every team has a structure. She has two main types-primary and secondary. If we consider one organization, then primary is the group of people who work for the firm.
Secondary Collective more narrow. We are talking about employees who work in the same department, they have a common goal.
As a rule, relationships in a team (primary) are characterized by the usual business, household and emotional level. In this situation, there are no close contacts between workers. But in the case of the secondary team, there is a closer and more emotional connection.
Allocate formal (determined on the basis of the division of labor) and informal substructures of the team.
informal groups appear if employees communicate with each other for a long time as individuals.
Informal relationships in a team arise when employees have common goals, interests, habits, and views. Such a group can appear both at work and outside of production. The business environment is especially favorable for the emergence of such communication, because people see each other daily and work together for many years.
An informal group is characterized by a certain socio-psychological community: a sense of solidarity, mutual trust, support, etc.
Formal groups can only be created by order of the chief. It's about the brigade, the department. Formal groups are of two types:
According to psychologists, the following factors contribute to the convergence of formal and informal substructures.
All relationships in the team in the organization are based on the performance of certain roles.
These roles can be divided into "instrumental", which are necessary to solve production tasks, and "social", which are associated with informal interpersonal communication. We list and consider the "instrumental" roles or methods of relationships in the team:
Coordinator. Such a person must have good organizational skills. As a rule, a person with such talents occupies a leadership position, even if he lacks the necessary knowledge and experience. The coordinator works with people who have practice and directs their activities so that the set goals are achieved with the least losses and maximum results.
Idea's generator. We are talking about the most capable and talented member of the team. He knows how to develop options for solving problems, but has qualities, for example, passivity, lack of concentration, which prevent him from implementing them.
Controller does not have the skill of creative thinking, but has deep knowledge, experience, erudition, can evaluate an idea, understand its strengths and weaknesses, and inspire colleagues for further work.
grinder has a broad view of the problem, is able to find relationships and combine its solution with other tasks facing the team.
Enthusiast is the most active member of the team, he is able to inspire other people to take actions that will lead to the achievement of the desired goal.
Benefit seeker is an intermediary in internal and external relationships in the team, which gives a certain unity to the activities of employees.
Executor knows how to implement other people's ideas, but he needs constant guidance and encouragement.
Assistant is a person without any personal aspirations, who is quite satisfied with the "second" role, but he gladly assists others in work and life.
It is possible to ensure the normal functioning of the team through the correct distribution of roles and their conscientious performance. If there are fewer people in the team, then some of them will have to take on two roles, which is fraught with conflict situations, and the problem of team relationships can arise quite soon.
Depending on how the roles are distributed, one of five types of relationships is born in the team:
The last option is the biggest threat to business. If conflict situations appear regularly, then you need to find out the reasons and make every effort to stabilize relations.
To avoid sad consequences, you should understand what difficulties most often arise at work, and what reasons can worsen relationships in a team:
1. Differences between professional views and approaches to solving problems and problems of the organization of leading employees in their areas.
Alas, if the differences are too obvious, then workers may lose the ability to conscious action. Often, opponents do not even remember what exactly they were arguing about, because they do not listen to each other, but only accuse.
Sometimes the reason for disagreement is a different understanding of the problem, lack of information, distrust of new information, or simply a misjudgment of one's authority.
If none of the parties knows how to behave correctly in conflict situations, then disputes can go on indefinitely, only increasing mutual hostility.
2. Relationship problems between established groups of workers.
Conflict relationships between teams are not uncommon. Such problems can arise both in a small department and between departments. An example of the first option is "hazing" in terms of age and length of service, and the second is rivalry for influence and role in the company.
If we talk about the first case, then you need to understand that a person humiliates another only if he is afraid to seem weak and insecure. And thanks to hazing, you can hide your fears, complexes and shortcomings well.
As for the second case, such rivalry for influence/resources will always be present in the company in one form or another.
Even in the largest organization, the amount of funds is limited. The manager determines how best to distribute employees, money, materials most effectively to achieve the goals of the company. However, workers will always want more. In other words, the need to allocate resources, unfortunately, always leads to conflict situations.
3. The crisis of power in the labor collective.
Problematic team relationships can arise from administrative errors, such as improper workload distribution. An informal leader who leads some of the employees will also contribute to conflicts.
It is important to understand that sooner or later relationships will appear among employees in the format leader - followers.
Remember that there is a formal leader, and there is an informal one. The head of the organization is a formal leader who is endowed with certain power, powers in accordance with the regulations.
The informal leader has power over people and without a high position in the hierarchy of the organization. He has good authority and already established relationships with the company's employees. Finding out who the leader is is easy. You will find this person in a separate office, you will notice that he is engaged in the fact that he gives instructions and monitors their implementation. But the informal leader is more difficult to determine. In appearance, he is exactly the same as his colleagues. But he knows how to subdue people. As a rule, even his colleagues do not always realize how influential such a leader is. However, in difficult situations they turn to him first.
Many managers believe that such a leader needs to be motivated and regularly rewarded for success in work. Yes, such a step is quite justified, because an informal leader can become a kind of information conductor, strengthen the team, and help new employees adapt. Whether it will be possible to use the talents of this employee for the benefit of the company depends on how competent the manager is.
4. Personal hostility between employees, arising from objective or subjective reasons.
This is the most common problem in the team.
Alas, people may simply not like each other, even if they see each other several times a month.
To maintain good relationships in the team, it is necessary to understand how favorable the atmosphere is at work and learn how to manage it.
The result of your company's work largely depends on the relationship in the team.
There are two approaches to this issue: traditional and TQM.
In the traditional approach employees are characterized by how committed they are to the company, how they support its values, how satisfied they are with their work, and what results they achieve in their activities. The organization is the customer, and the staff is the executors.
In terms TQM The company is the supplier and the employees are the customers. The manager seeks to understand what the needs of employees are and provide them with the opportunity to fulfill them.
Regardless of which approach you use, it's important to learn to recognize whether team relationships are positive or negative.
Analysis of relationships in the team carried out using a sociometric measurement that allows you to evaluate human relations in a group of colleagues. The result of the study is used to understand the socio-psychological climate at work, conduct a business assessment of personnel and resolve socio-psychological conflicts.
Method J. Moreno allows you to measure how close the team is, whether there are likes and dislikes between colleagues, to determine the focus of informal disunity / solidarity.
The initial data for analysis is the information obtained through a sociometric survey. To collect information, each employee is offered sociometric questionnaire for filling:
Depending on the purpose of the survey organizers, various questions are asked in the questionnaire, for example, “Who would you like (not want) to work with?”. Each employee gives his own answer to the question, thanks to which you can determine how he treats his colleagues. The questionnaire is filled in by the employee on an individual basis, and its results cannot be made public.
The information obtained as a result of the survey is entered into a group matrix, which is necessary to visually present the collected information and simplify the process of its processing.
Quantitative characteristics of relationships in a team are sociometric indices, which are divided into two classes. The first includes personal sociometric indices, which reflect individual qualities personalities that manifest themselves in relationships with colleagues. And to the second - group indices, which allow characterizing the group as a whole.
The analyzed group relations are presented in the form of a sociogram:
The sociogram allows you to evaluate the existing relations in the group, to understand what is the characteristic of the relationship in the team, which employees are more often chosen and who are rejected.
By the number of elections given it is possible to assess the degree and nature of the needs of an individual employee and the group as a whole in communication.
By number of elections received the nature and degree of influence of a particular employee on his colleagues is also determined.
Thanks to the analysis, you will understand what are the relationships in the team, whom the employees value and respect, and whom they dislike.
There are socio-psychological methods that improve relationships in the team. Consider the most effective:
1. Body psychotherapy. This method is based on the relationship of mental and physiological processes. We are talking about the fact that the manifestations of personal characteristics can be seen in the posture, gesture, movement.
In the organization it is necessary to create a room for psychological relief, a booth with mannequins for leaders, etc.
2. Art therapy. The method is based on the fact that the inner state of a person is reflected in everything he does. It can be a drawing, a sculpture, etc.
Thanks to the method, you can determine how aggressive the general mood in the team is, defuse the situation, and improve relationships between colleagues.
3. Groups of "training skills". The approach is based on a learning model, setting goals, measuring and evaluating behavior. Employees learn to plan their career growth, make the right decisions, overcome anxiety and worries, and competently interact with colleagues.
There are other methods, trainings that allow you to create a favorable emotional climate. Many companies now have a full-time psychologist. He is organizing psychological games, tests, advises employees. Sometimes the company invites a specialist from outside. This, of course, has a positive effect on the socio-psychological climate.
1. Corporate events are an effective mechanism designed to rally employees.
If you use the same scenario every time, then do not expect anything good from such an event. Employees will feel tense, and a relaxed atmosphere is needed to unite the team. An employee perceives a corporate event as an ongoing work process. And if at the event someone showed inadequacy in behavior, then in future professional activities it will be embarrassing for everyone.
A more fruitful effect of the holiday can be achieved if the script is invented and implemented by the employees themselves. Employees learn a lot about themselves and others, tune in a positive way. In addition, this will save your company money, because hiring a specialized organization involved in holding holidays is not cheap. To create a rich and original event, you should conduct an anonymous survey and find out what kind of corporate party your subordinates dream of. To do this, you will need to create a questionnaire, distribute it to employees, and then process the information received. This will also allow you to identify people who are ready to take part in organizing the holiday.
2. Team-building sports training. Team building is necessary to create loyal relationships in the team, to unite the team. If the team building was not properly organized, then this is fraught with unforeseen consequences. For example, a leader may lose credibility, and some employees may quit. You should carefully choose a trainer and take into account the physical training of workers. There was a situation when during such a training a woman leader broke her arm and could not understand whether it happened by accident or not.
If active young people work in the organization, and the boss does not have good physical fitness, then you should not conduct team building. The fact is that this can adversely affect the authority of the leader, and the relationship between the team and the individual can deteriorate significantly. And in the opposite situation, when the director has excellent sports training, and employees only occasionally attend training, then there is no point in holding such an event.
Let's take an example. The head of one company was fond of skydiving and decided to arrange an extreme event for managers, who, by the way, were women over 40. Of course, he did not force them to jump, but it was clear to everyone that if you did not jump, then you would be worse than others. Many have done it, but not all.
3. Team building activities. We are talking about training sessions that are necessary to rally the team.
The event allows you to prepare a new employee to achieve a positive result in work:
The psychological environment in the team plays a huge role. The overall productivity and efficiency largely depend on the relationship of employees. When relationships are going well, employees are ready to help each other, solve work-related problems together, give important advice, train and instill the necessary skills. Similarly, everything happens in groups of pupils, students, creative circles. Mutual understanding and respect prevailing in the team are necessarily positively reflected in any activity. It is often difficult to improve relations in a team, because all people have different opinions, views, temperaments. If you take into account a few nuances, follow the advice and the algorithm, you can significantly simplify your task, establish good relationships in the team.
We build relationships within the team. Algorithm
Faced with difficulties in relationships in a team, be sure to take Special attention establishing relationships with colleagues. Act thoughtfully and purposefully, but do not forget about official duties. Recommendations and an algorithm will help you.
Behave naturally, try to avoid disputes, then relations in the team will begin to improve.
Mobbing, bullying, bossing... These mysterious words mean only various options harassment organized by one or more people at work of an objectionable employee. Think you're not in danger? You are wrong. Any of us can become a potential victim, and the number of victims of office terror runs into the millions all over the world.
Alla knows firsthand what it is like when the team rejects and does not let them into their friendly ranks. Once she worked in a company where the main contingent of workers were ladies much older than her. But instead of maternal care, the girl faced ignorance and open hostility from her colleagues. And although she liked the work and the authorities had no complaints against her, Alla had to quit a few months after the start of the conspiracy against her.
This is a typical example of mobbing ( mob- crowd), or persecution by a group of persons of one person. As a rule, the goal of mobbing and other types of psychological pressure is to make the victim lose their nerve, and she shamefully fled from the "battlefield".
The main difference between targeted bullying and ordinary conflicts and strained relationships with someone is its constancy and duration, from several weeks to several years. There are other signs by which it can be assumed that a war has been unleashed against you. For example, regular criticism, often too petty or not containing any specifics; ridicule and insults; threats and outright slander. They hide important information from you or do not provide it on time; load with cases that are not too related to your competence; they are not invited to joint collective events... But if you are presented with justified claims about the really poor quality of your work, you will not be able to write them off as bullying.
A person subjected to psychological terror may also experience health problems: sleep disorders, physical exhaustion, constant migraines, and various diseases. Self-esteem falls, self-doubt appears. On health problems, the pursuers will also not fail to spread another trump card: "Why keep an employee who is on sick leave all the time?"
There are several most common causes of mobbing and its variants.
Daria Stasevich, psychologist
In some companies, "hazing" of newcomers is accepted, this is a kind of tradition of joining the team. When you pass this stage, then everything will most likely form. You can also look at the reasons for pressure in relation to yourself from the other side. Perhaps similar situations have already occurred in your life. Then you need to figure out what in your behavior can provoke others to such an attitude. For example, you are used to playing the role of a victim and do not know how to stand up for yourself. Or you are too different from colleagues - behavior, appearance- and they do not understand and do not accept you. Among other reasons - you unknowingly or deliberately ignore the established "rules of the game" and do not share the values of the group; you came to the company by pull; they want to put "their" person in your place.
When the head of Maya, who worked as an assistant judge, was in the hospital for a year due to a serious illness, his employees were temporarily transferred to another station. There, the woman had to deal with the inappropriate behavior of one of her colleagues. “She worked as an assistant to my new leader and for some reason immediately disliked me, dirtying me with terrible force. Either she would spread rumors behind my back that I allegedly got a job through bed. handed it to me," Maya shares.
This is another version of psychological terror - bullying (bully - a bully), or the persecution by one person of another, usually equal in status. It is believed that a feature of bullers is the constant thirst for "fresh blood". Often after the victim, unable to bear the bullying, quits, the attacker is taken for the next "lamb".
If you feel that a targeted large-scale action is being taken against you, you can choose multiple strategies to fight. The main thing is to realize what you are ready to fight for.
Try to give a decisive rebuff to the aggressors. Another option is to ignore the attacks with the expectation that sooner or later you will be left behind. Such a technique as "external agreement" also helps: "Perhaps you are right, I will think about it." Sometimes this has the effect of surprise: you were expected to have outbursts of anger or pathetic excuses, and now you have a chance to take control of the situation.
Seek help from the boss. By and large, mobbing or bullying can be stopped if he takes appropriate measures. Otherwise, the further struggle for their rights may turn into a battle with windmills.
You can also take certain steps to prevent possible negative attitude towards yourself. When hiring, find out what corporate culture and the values of the company, whether mutual assistance is accepted, respect for each other, etc. Sources of such information are interviews with the HR manager and the future leader. If you are hired by a company whose products you have used, pay attention to how the stores of this organization treat customers. After all, this is often a reflection of the style of relationships within the company. During the trial period, you can also learn a lot of interesting things. For example, about whether there is pressure on any of the employees. If such a phenomenon exists, draw appropriate conclusions.
Karina Khutayeva, Director of the International Educational Center
If you encounter bullying at work, stay calm and don't lower yourself to the level of the bully. Don't yell or intimidate back. Often the "attackers" provoke you on purpose, expecting retaliatory aggression, as this will give them a chance to respond to you with an even stronger provocation. It is not recommended to cry or show your weakness, this is expected of you in the first place. Keep up the quality work, because "well-wishers" hope to see you broken, and when you succeed over and over again, it is perceived by them as a defeat. Be sure to show the results of your work to your superiors in order to protect yourself from malicious slander about your unprofessionalism. And don't let yourself be isolated from loyal colleagues, maintain business and friendship ties with them.
Natalia Verigina, business coach
People with low self-esteem often become victims of bullying or mobbing, so it is important to work on improving it. An appeal to a psychologist, participation and victories in competitions of professional skills will help with this. Often they are persecuted, keeping apart from the team. Learn to build relationships with people - this will make it easier to establish contact with colleagues and form an "army of allies". They can be employees not only from their own, but also from related departments, and even more significant - the immediate supervisor. Learn to defend your position, taking into account the interests of all parties and the "rituals" adopted in the company, so that disputable situations do not develop into a violent conflict. Don't make enemies with your own hands.
The confrontation between Nina and her boss has been going on for a long time, and no one will remember the root cause. The manager creates an unbearable environment for his employee at work. He sets unrealistic deadlines for completing tasks, requires strict adherence to labor discipline, and the rest are given significant concessions. Nina is in constant stress, and only an even greater fear of being unemployed is stopping her from being fired so far.
In this case, we are talking about bossing ( boss- chief, boss), persecution by the head of his subordinate. In fact, this is the same bullying, but not horizontal, but vertical. It is usually used when the boss lacks weighty arguments for the legal dismissal of a person.
As a rule, the victim has little hope for the help of colleagues, because they are by no means eager to fall under the punishing sword. Sometimes the attitude of the boss towards someone is perceived by subordinates as a clear indication of action, in such a situation a person is under the crossfire of harassment literally from all sides.
You can be put under pressure, forcing you to urgently write a letter of resignation for own will. Do not make any decisions in a hurry, you have every right to take a pause to think. If you agree to quit your job, try to negotiate a dismissal by agreement of the parties. This suggests that both sides are ready to make concessions to each other. You leave, and the employer, if you manage to negotiate with him, pays severance pay in a certain size. After all, dismissal own initiative only includes compensation for unused vacation.
In any case, experts recommend quitting a company where unpunished terror of people is allowed, and the sooner the better. Otherwise, the consequences for your health and psychological state may become irreversible.
Daria Stasevich, psychologist
If the boss decides to fire you, you will have a very difficult time. But your departure is not the only scenario, although it is very likely. You can try to transfer to another department of the same company or to another branch or even a region, if possible. You can seek help from higher authorities or go to court. There are also city and district labor inspectorates. It is important to provide documentary evidence of a violation of your rights - dictaphone recordings of conversations with superiors, various correspondence, labor contract etc.