INSTRUCTIONS AND PROPHECIES OF THE Blessed MOTHER ALIPIA GOLOSEEVSKY, Kyiv...
AT modern world a person has unlimited access to almost any information, can freely learn anything and develop in any direction. On the one hand, this is wonderful - this diversity of the world itself is an excellent developing factor for humanity. Comparing our beliefs, philosophy of life, successes with the successes and beliefs of others, we expand our horizons and improve our own. On the other hand, sometimes we find our outlook on life frozen, unchanging, and this can become a serious obstacle on the way to what we want. Therefore, many people are wondering how to change their outlook on life - this is what we will talk about today.
Know thyself
In order to change your outlook on life, you first need to understand what exactly you are changing. Take a sheet of paper and write down on it your positions, convictions, beliefs in the main areas of life and the universe:
- Religion, faith, .
- Society, culture, social status.
- , education.
- , a family.
- , material.
- , talent, .
If I missed an important area of life for you, add it to the list yourself and write thesis, as well as for all other points, as you see life. Having formulated your views on life, find weaknesses in them - what you want to change - these will be guides in your practice.
Getting Started
I have already written about the view of the world in general and my life in particular, today I want to talk about expanding my view. The fact is that the prism through which we see life - our attitude to various phenomena, needs to be constantly updated, otherwise the point of view, which remains unchanged, will certainly begin to discord with the regularly changing world. There is nothing static, immovable in our Universe, everything is a process, including man. Therefore, expanding your outlook on life is both a cure for many problems and a prevention of their occurrence.
You can call this action whatever you like - changing the angle of view, expanding the gaze, shifting the focus, changing the worldview - the essence remains the same, and this action is possible only in a practical way.
Ways to expand your outlook on life
No matter how this phrase is set on edge, it will remain relevant at any time - get out of yours. If you do not see and do not learn anything new, your eyes become blurry and become unable to see the new and beautiful even under your nose.
Chat with different people. I will not tire of repeating that every person can be a teacher for you if you allow it to happen. When we communicate only with those who are similar to us in everything - in their views, attitude, behavior - we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to develop through communication. Include people who are different from you in your social circle and occasionally spend time with them - it can be just conversations or Team work, you can try what other people are interested in. Often communication with those who are very different from us is not easy, but it is worth it.
Read. I do not consider reading a passive activity at all, on the contrary, it can more than actively change our outlook on life. Of course, we are talking about thoughtful reading and processing of the information received. As in the previous paragraph, choose books, articles, poetry, essays, etc. you need to proceed not so much from your own taste (more precisely, do not allow yourself to be limited by it), but from the desire to expand your consciousness and get acquainted with a large number of different points of view. Explore different perspectives on economics, religion, philosophy, human relations, culture, cooking - whatever, because getting a versatile look develops a person regardless of the subject of study.
Travel. Discovering new places, we do not just get a fresh batch of vivid impressions and photos. It is useful for every person to see how people live in different cities and countries, to absorb different cultures and traditions, to try new things. I sincerely believe that every journey changes a person, expands consciousness and leads to a renewal of the outlook on life.
Try new things in your work. As in any occupation, in my activity - copywriting - there is a place for routine and getting into a rut. When I feel that there is nothing to write about, I understand that I have found a comfortable point for myself, in which, without failure and fear of a new one, I do what I love, but for some reason it ceases to bring pleasure. There is no such thing as nothing to write about, therefore, I simply expand the range of topics, including those that I have not touched before, and try to change the format of articles. In each activity, you can change something, just a little bit, and this will open up a new uncultivated field of possibilities.
No matter how the line of life looms, from time to time each person has situations that can cause strong negative emotions. Against their background, it becomes quite difficult for a person to switch to a habitual way of life, since thoughts about a negative situation overlap all others. How to change your attitude to the situation? How to cope with your own emotions and continue to lead a familiar lifestyle?
It is worth understanding one simple thing: any event that occurs does not carry either a positive side or a negative one. Only we ourselves are able to give it one side or another. But how to change your attitude to the situation, what to do in order to benefit for yourself? This is what will be discussed further in the article.
Whatever situation arises in life, it should be approached from a philosophical position. No need to rush out of the fire into the next inferno. There was a negative situation, sit down, cool down. At the same time, it is desirable to get away from everyone and retire, only alone with yourself can you draw independent conclusions.
If after solitude you can’t calm down and come to a state of balance, then try turning on calm relaxing music, visit a cool shower, water, by the way, helps to wash off all the negativity that has risen very well. Try to think of something good. Try to sleep, if possible, of course.
After you manage to come to relative calm, emotions subside, you need to remember everything that happened, but at the same time you need to put yourself in the role of an observer.
As if you are watching a movie or listening to someone's story, without your participation. No wonder they say that it is more visible from the outside. By placing yourself in this position, you will be able to reasonably draw the necessary conclusions.
Next, to change your attitude to the situation, write down the pros in any past experience. stressful situation, indicate what lessons you learned then, what were its consequences and how they differed from the initial expectations. Then describe your current situation. Think about what unexpected bonuses or lessons it can bring.
It is worth choosing one important position for yourself and sticking to it throughout your life. The position is as follows: everything that is not done is aimed at making us stronger.
Regardless of the current situation, you should not look for the guilty, but also worse than that- blame yourself, you should approach the situation from the other side and find positive moments.
By constantly looking for negative sides in any situation, you yourself, without suspecting it, attract negativity to yourself. So, be reasonable and approach any situation with a philosophical mindset.
Reward yourself
by the most in an efficient way there will be an option with stimulation of soy nervous system bonuses. For example, if you promise yourself after a difficult conversation with your boss not to get upset, not to waste your nerve cells and just accept the situation as it is, this will be your first victory.
There should be a prize for victory in any occupation. So, you should treat yourself to your favorite dessert in a cafe, buy yourself new blouse, which will ideally meet all the strict requirements of the dress code or just allow yourself to relax in the morning a little longer than usual.
Solve Problems
If your experiences are related to family and personal problems, try to solve them in order. To change your attitude to the situation, make your own list in which you write the essence of the problem and its solutions. Then, through analysis, choose the best of all options and bring it to life.
If it is difficult to resolve the issue in one approach, describe in detail the timeframe and stages of the solution. So, for example, if you are worried about repayments on a loan that was taken by your family, then it is worthwhile to prescribe a detailed repayment schedule for your peace of mind.
Plan all scenarios
Clear planning of critical situations and increased stressful moments will help you not only feel more confident, but also not spend a lot of time on completely useless experiences. There is a problem - we write the proposed options for solving it and do everything to put one of these options into practice.
Autotraining
Another effective way to change your attitude to life is the auto-training technique. According to it, you pronounce all the fears and dangerous moments of the current situation in advance and give yourself a mindset not to be afraid. This technique allows you to increase self-esteem, since each fear you defeat is another step towards personal growth.
Do not be afraid to set yourself far-reaching goals, because they will become for you a kind of beacons that will guide you through life. There is nothing wrong with starting to change your attitude to the life situation from the very smallest - the formation of a new dream.
Dreams, as you know, inspire us and allow us to move on, achieve even greater results in a short period of time. But the dream is without fail must have a real percentage for its implementation.
For example, you dream of a car and save from every salary for your dream. You can just as well dream of a dacha in Sochi, but if you wage will not allow to buy a dacha there and the period of implementation of a dacha dream exceeds a hundred years, then it is worth changing the dream of a dacha in Sochi to a more nearby region.
Unfortunately, in people's lives there are strong disappointments that can lead to depression or even cause complete apathy for everything that happens.
In such situations, it is very important to be able not to lose interest in life, to be able to change your attitude to the situation. How to change the outlook on life when there is no motivation for life? It takes only a few serious steps towards change, and you can notice how a smile began to appear on your face again and you began to enjoy simple human joys.
What can change a person's outlook on life
If necessary, try to change the circle of communication. It is very important that you are surrounded by people who radiate positive energy. Try to communicate less and, if possible, avoid people who have a pessimistic type of thinking.
Take a trip if possible. A change of place of residence will help to get new emotions and sensations, which are a necessary component for any person, especially those who are depressed.
Close people can help change your outlook on life and the surrounding reality. Usually the closest relatives and friends can provide important support. Try to spend more time with people who are pleasant to you.
As you know, all life is a game, so each of us is one of the actors. Try to learn to play by the rules it sets surrounding life. Be more flexible in different situations- this can significantly help in overcoming various obstacles.
Try to always look good - this will help attract people's attention to you. In this way, you will be able to raise your self-esteem and return the love of yourself.
Do you want to change your attitude to the situation? Then don't forget to eat well. Whatever happens, you need strength for a quality life, this should never be forgotten. The intake of balanced food will make you feel good, which is important for establishing your life principles.
Try to do more of your favorite activities to change your outlook on life. If you have a craving for sports, then start going to workouts. If you have a penchant for attending cultural events, then you should start regularly visiting various places of art. The main thing is that any activity brings pleasant emotions, which are necessary condition for a quality life.
Remember that in order to regain interest in life, first of all, you yourself must figure out the reasons for the occurrence of such a situation in which life's passion was lost. Try to treat life situations easier. Do not forget that life is a game, and participation is the main thing in it!
Question to the psychologist:
Hello! I am 29 years old, I am the mother of a 5-year-old daughter, I divorced my husband 2 years ago and now I live with my new husband, I work in a creative direction. Already for 5 years I have been in a state of some kind of intense struggle for harmony, every Monday I start new life, I hold on for a week and again I break into despondency. Previously, it was somehow less intense in terms of emotions and less often. Now, 5 years later, I take antidepressants every week, because the intensity of internal tension cannot be appeased by anything. Antidepressants were prescribed to me during the period of treatment and consultations with a psychologist and have remained to this day (the consultations were during the period of divorce). It took about 2 years to get divorced, it was hard and scary to get divorced, the thought that I could not provide for myself and the child poisoned me greatly, and the stigma of a loser seems to still hang. Sometimes I feel like a little girl, lonely and useless. Each difficulty kills me in the truest sense of the word, I lose all my strength in front of obstacles and give up. And that’s it, I can’t live anymore, I want to hide and not stick out anywhere else. Relations with my mother are very complicated, she is my manipulator-tyrant. From the age of 14, she tried to find heart-to-heart closeness with her and communicate normally, but she couldn’t, and now in the last quarrel she found the ideal solution - to communicate once a week and so on without details. Every day I live in stress, anxiety, worries, internal tantrums, self-control in terms of emotions. I am always and everywhere in a hurry, I'm afraid not to be in time everywhere, I'm afraid to be late for meetings, for work, I'm afraid not to have time to live at all, life is short and it seems to me that I'm wasting my time somehow not so usefully. I am drowning in guilt towards the child because my work schedule is not stable and often my promises to the child are not fulfilled in the promised period. I spend a lot of time at work and I blame myself for it. I want to be the perfect mom, but I can't. I want to be beautiful from the inside, it doesn’t work out either, because lately I have often been aggressive and always go dissatisfied. I have low self-esteem, from this, everything that I do is taken in my own assessment and is reset to zero in value. I consider myself to be some kind of rogue and abnormal, I hate myself for the fact that I can no longer enjoy life, that there is a black hole inside and that I have ceased to experience sexual attraction since the birth of a child. I hide from people, although I like to communicate and I can’t sit at home and not be in the thick of things. Working with people (I'm a photographer) I always feel shame, embarrassment and anxiety that I'm doing something wrong and as if I'm deceiving them, that I'm not talented at all and I'm selling them some kind of heresy. I don’t love myself, and at times I hate myself and there are suicidal thoughts in my head that I drive. I torment my current husband with conversations about my conditions and I understand that I am spoiling the relationship, because I am talking about the same thing and nothing changes, there is an eternal cancer cell in the house and sorrow for joy. I want to break the chain of these anxieties of fear of despondency and apathy once and for all. There is not enough money for a full life and I present a lot to myself about this. If I could learn how to work with people and communicate in general, then my earnings would be much more. I want to punish myself every time. I am very hardworking and you can’t call me a lazy person, in fact, the assessment of me and my work is worthy (what I learn from the outside). After having a baby, my life turned upside down. I used to be a happy, fun, energetic beauty who aspired to conquer the world with her talents and charisma, her energy and her focus on results. Now, 5 years later, I am nobody, I only reflect and bathe in heartache, read tons of literature on how to change my attitude to life and get out of a black hole, but I can’t get off the ground. I can not fully work, live, communicate. I can't really do anything well. Feelings of hopelessness, confusion, anxiety, confusion and disability. I have problems with low blood pressure and under stress I can lose consciousness and experience something similar to panic attacks. Help shed light on my inner hell. How to become positive and stop worrying about any nonsense, learn to objectively look at this world. Thank you.
The psychologist answers the question.
Julia, hello. You want to be perfect everywhere and initially set the bar too high. You don't get happy by "fighting". Instead of punishing yourself, start praising yourself even for the fact that you managed to end the past painful relationship, got married, raise a 5-year-old daughter, do creative work. Don't you really deserve the highest rating for all of the above? I think that you need to reconsider your views on life, appreciate what you have and enjoy it, enjoy life HERE and NOW, perceive yourself as you are. To do any action for yourself, so that you get real pleasure from it, and not to do it in order to be ideal for someone ... but, as your experience shows, you suffer only from this ... You did the right thing that they used to turn to a psychologist, also if a doctor prescribed honey, then continue taking them, but you need to understand that honey drugs do not remove the cause, but only relieve symptoms, which is also of course necessary. I recommend that you read PSYCHO TRAINING ACCORDING TO THE ALBERT ELLIS METHOD. This information is sure to be useful to you. Also engage in relaxation and breathing techniques, find a favorite hobby that you will enjoy just like that, and not something to be perfect and start enjoying it. If there is a desire, please contact us, we can conduct a consultation via Skype in video mode, where we will really begin to solve the problem, changing life for the better. With all my heart, I wish you - Success and all the best!!!
Hello dear readers! Sometimes you feel like everything is going wrong. There are fewer things to please. Friends are less willing to make contact. A constant feeling of dissatisfaction interferes with a normal existence. The thought comes to mind that it is time to change the situation, but how to do it?
In principle, you yourself understand what needs to be done, it is not necessary to search on the Internet, but all these simple tips so difficult to do. They require incredible, confidence that everything will work out. This factor is just not enough.
Foundations are formed in childhood
Indeed, most people are laid in early childhood. For many people, this thought becomes a lifeline: "I have already formed and now there is nothing to fix." You have no idea how many clients come to the psychologist's office to talk about how much they have been affected.
Many of us, for some reason, are very passionate about the search for the origins of the problem. However, it does not lead to further investigation and solution of the problem. For example, a woman treats any, even the most joyful event - negatively. In the course of a conversation with a psychologist, she realizes that the problem lies in the fact that her mother behaved in exactly the same way.
What happens next? The woman shifts the blame to the parent and, at every opportunity, begins to tell a sad story to her loved ones, explains this behavior to her colleagues. Now this reason serves as an excuse for acting with the usual schemes, which, in principle, suit the girl.
Of course, such an approach, if you want to change your attitude towards yourself and the world around you, is unacceptable. Stop turning your life around with negative characters.
How often do we hear: “My first husband beat me and now I’m men, I can’t build relationships”, “My mother did everything for me from early childhood, and therefore I can’t.” Understand that a person does not stand still, each of us can change. That negative hero no longer has power over you. Now you become your own enemy, poisoning own life. We are growing up, and you are no longer like that five-year-old child on whom nothing depended.
Finding the root of the problem is useful in that it helps you let go of the situation instead of dwelling on it. I can recommend you a book on the subject: "How not to poison your life with harmful thoughts" Hanne Brourson.
Stop blaming everyone around you
Forbid yourself even to utter accusations against other people for a while. Somewhere I read the Caucasian sages. One of the points I was very surprised and remembered for a lifetime. Agree, this rarely happens with articles from the Internet. So, Caucasian elders forbid themselves to complain in the presence of any person. They are completely for their lives and believe that the results of their lives are only the consequences of their own decisions.
If you have - you are to blame, because you could not get a proper education and best place. Yours? So you did not have enough intellectual abilities to find with her mutual language and get your life right. Do you hate people? And again, the reason lies in yourself.
The Caucasian sages are too much to admit their own imperfection and complain about those aspects in which they themselves once showed inconsistency.
Thoughts materialize
Unfortunately, now the phrase that has been turned into something fantastic. Many people have the impression that this has something to do with the tales of goldfish. It is enough to wish for a car for yourself, as two from the casket will bring it to you on a saucer. Psychologists explain this theory in their own way.
The reaction to any event is the consequences of your thoughts. Two people in the same conditions can feel differently: one will be absolutely happy, while the other is constantly grieving and complaining. Our thoughts and words form not only, but also the attitude towards him, our life.
How to do it? Everything starts small. Books do the best job of restructuring the emotional background. They contain a cure for many "diseases". Start reading more light, joyful literature. Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury, "A Dog's Life" by Peter Mayle, "The Woman Who Went to Bed for a Year" by Sue Townsend.
If I decided to write this post a year ago, it would start something like this:
I don't like winter very much. Snow, frost, wind… brrrr… I would probably love this season if where I live it lasted a month or two, but we usually have winter for half a year. This is a serious, harsh Siberian winter, with frosts below -40, icy piercing winds from the Ob reservoir, cars that refuse to start in such a frost, and other "charms". Doesn't even brighten up the picture. New Year. In November, we already put on winter clothes and rake snowdrifts. There is still snow in mid-April. And autumn, except for the first couple of weeks of September, I don’t like either - rain (sometimes with snow), wind, frozen puddles in the morning and the feeling of imminently approaching winter. Long, cold winter.
But this year a strange thing happened to me. I suddenly saw that our autumn is insanely beautiful! Wind and rain with snow did not prevent me from admiring the bright autumn colors, I really enjoyed the beauty that surrounded us. With the advent of winter, I saw the beauty of snow! What snow we have! White, fluffy! And this is an amazing time, when in a few hours the black earth is suddenly covered with an iridescent white carpet that sparkles and shines in the light of lanterns... smart…
No, I did not begin to love frosts, I still miss the sun and warmth, but now it does not give me terrible discomfort. I see beauty all around! And I feel very good about it!
It took many years for me to come to this. Just recently, I was told an interesting parable that will help you understand in just a few minutes everything that took me years. I sincerely hope that after reading it, your view of the world will change, and you will become a little, or maybe not a little, happier.
An old parable about changing the way you look at the world
Once an old sage asked his disciple to look around the room and find all the objects in it. Brown color. The student began to carefully examine the room. There was a lot of brown in there, and a cornice that hung curtains, and spines of books that stood on the shelves, and chairs, and much more. Nothing escaped the young man's attentive gaze.
Then the sage said, “Good. Now close your eyes and tell me all the things of blue color". The student was very confused and answered the venerable teacher that during the inspection of the room he did not notice a single blue object. The sage told the young man to open his eyes and see how many blue objects were in the room. Indeed, the picture on the wall, and the tablecloth on the table, and even the carpet - it was all blue.
The indignant student exclaimed: “But you asked to find objects of brown, not blue! And I fulfilled this request!”
The elder sighed softly, smiled and answered:
Yes, that's exactly what I wanted to show you. You were looking for only brown items and you found them. This is exactly what happens in life: you are looking for only one bad thing, and because of this you do not notice anything good.
“But, teacher, I have been told all my life that I need to prepare for the worst, and then I will never be disappointed. If the worst does not happen, then I will be glad pleasant surprise! But in the event that I expect good things, then there is a great risk of being disappointed! - the young man did not let up.
The wise teacher said:
Because of the belief that it is useful to expect the worst, we lose sight of all the good that surrounds us and happens in life. If you are expecting something bad, then you will definitely get it. If you expect good things, then you will get them. Always look for a point of view from which any experience will carry something good in itself.
