Big encyclopedia of oil and gas. interpersonal conflict

open conflict. If the contradictions of interests outlined at the pre-conflict stage cannot be resolved, sooner or later the pre-conflict situation turns into an open conflict. The presence of confrontation becomes obvious to everyone. The conflict of interests reaches such a degree of maturity that it is no longer possible to ignore or hide them. They become a factor interfering with normal interaction, the sides of which turn from now on into open opponents opposing each other. Each side begins to openly defend its own interests.

At this stage of the development of the conflict, his opponents begin to appeal to a third party, turn to legal authorities to protect or assert their interests. Each of the subjects of the confrontation is trying to attract to its side as many allies and means of pressure on the other as possible, including material, financial, political, informational, administrative and other resources. Not only “permissible”, generally accepted, but also “dirty” means, methods and technologies of pressure on the opponent, who from now on is considered nothing more than an “opponent”, an “enemy”, are used.

At the stage of an open conflict, it also becomes obvious that none of the parties wants to make concessions or compromises, on the contrary, the attitude to confrontation, to assert their own interests, dominates. At the same time, interpersonal tensions and differences are often superimposed on objective contradictions in groups, which aggravate the situation.

Takova general characteristics the second stage of the development of the conflict. However, within this open period one can single out their internal stages, characterized by varying degrees of tension, which in conflictology are referred to as: 1) incident, 2) escalation, 3) end of the conflict.

Incident The transition of a conflict from a latent state to an open confrontation occurs as a result of one or another incident (from Latin incidens - an event that happens). Incident- this is the case that initiates an open confrontation between the parties. The conflict incident must be distinguished from its cause.

Occasion- this is the specific event that serves as an impetus, a subject for the beginning of conflict actions. In this case, it may arise by chance, or it may be specially invented, but, in any case, the cause is not yet a conflict. In contrast, an incident is already a conflict, its beginning.

The incident exposes the positions of the parties and makes clear the division into "us" and "them", friends and enemies, allies and opponents. After the incident, "who is who" becomes clear, because the masks have already been dropped. However, the real strengths of the opponents are not yet fully known, and it is not clear how far one or another participant in the conflict can go in the confrontation. And this uncertainty of the true forces and resources (material, physical, financial, mental, informational, etc.) of the enemy is a very important factor in containing the conflict on his initial stage. However, this uncertainty contributes to the further development of the conflict.

Thus, the incident often creates an ambivalent situation in the attitudes and actions of the opponents of the conflict. On the one hand, you want to “get into a fight” faster and win, and on the other hand, it’s difficult to enter the water “without knowing the ford.” Important elements of the development of the conflict at this stage are: “reconnaissance”, collecting information about the true capabilities and intentions of opponents, search for allies and attracting additional forces to their side. Since the confrontation in the incident is local in nature, the full potential of the participants in the conflict has not yet been demonstrated. Although all forces are already beginning to be brought into combat condition.

However, even after the incident, it remains possible to resolve the conflict peacefully, through negotiations, to come to a compromise between the subjects of the conflict. And this opportunity should be used to the fullest.

Escalation of the conflict

If, after the incident, a compromise is found and prevented further development the conflict failed, then the first incident is followed by the second, third, etc. The conflict enters the next stage - it occurs escalation (growth).

Escalation of the conflict- this is its key, most intense stage, when there is an aggravation of all contradictions between its participants and all possibilities are used to win the confrontation. The only question is: "who wins" and a full-scale battle begins. There is a mobilization of all resources: material, political, financial, informational, physical, mental and others.

At this stage, any negotiations or other peaceful means of resolving the conflict become difficult. Emotions often begin to drown out the mind, logic gives way to feelings. The main task is to cause as much damage as possible to the enemy at any cost. During this stage of the conflict, a change is also possible. value orientations, in particular, values-means and values-goals can change places. The development of the conflict acquires a spontaneous uncontrollable character. Among the main points characterizing the stage of the escalation of the conflict, the following can be distinguished first of all:

The escalation of the conflict is characterized by the following features:

1. Narrowing of the cognitive sphere in behavior and activity. In the process of escalation, there is a transition to more primitive forms of display.

2. Repression of adequate perception of the other, the image of the enemy. The image of the enemy as a holistic view of the opponent, which integrates distorted and illusory features, begins to form during the latent period of the conflict as a result of perception determined by negative assessments. As long as there is no opposition, as long as the threats are not implemented, the image of the enemy is indirect. It can be compared to a poorly developed photographic image, where the image is fuzzy and pale. In the process of escalation, the image of the enemy appears more and more clearly and gradually replaces the objective image.

3.Growth emotional stress . Arises as a reaction to the growth of the threat of possible damage; loss of controllability opposite side; inability to realize their interests in the desired volume for a short time; opponent's resistance.

4.The transition from arguments to claims and personal attacks. When people's opinions collide, people usually try to argue them. Others, evaluating a person's position, thereby indirectly evaluate his ability to argue. A person usually adds a significant personality color to the fruits of his intellect. Therefore, criticism of the results of his intellectual activity can be perceived as a negative assessment of him as a person. Criticism in this case is perceived as a threat to a person's self-esteem, and attempts to protect oneself lead to a shift in the subject of the conflict to the personal plane.

5. The growth of the hierarchical rank of interests is violated and protected, its polarization. A more intense action affects the more important interests of the other side. Therefore, the escalation of the conflict can be considered as a process of deepening contradictions, i.e. as a process of growth of the hierarchical rank of interests, is violated. In the process of escalation, the interests of opponents seem to be divorced into opposite poles. If in a pre-conflict situation they could somehow coexist, then in the event of an escalation of the conflict, the existence of one is possible only by ignoring the interests of the other side.

6. Use of violence. characteristic feature escalation of the conflict is the use of the last of the arguments - violence. Many violent acts are driven by revenge. Aggression is associated with the desire for some kind of internal compensation (for lost prestige, reduced self-esteem, etc.), compensation for damage. Actions in conflict may be driven by the desire for retribution for damage.

7. Loss of original point of contention lies in the fact that the confrontation, which began through a disputed object, develops into a more global clash, in which the original subject of the conflict no longer plays the main role. The conflict becomes independent of the causes it was caused, and it continues after they have become insignificant.

8. Expanding the boundaries of the conflict. There is a generalization of the conflict, i.e. the transition to deeper contradictions, there are many different points of contact. The conflict spreads over a large area. There is an expansion of its temporal and spatial boundaries.

open conflicts. Here, all the interactions of the warring parties are clearly marked and predictable. Such conflicts are known to the top management of the organization, and to any employee within it. Conflict interactions of this kind manifest themselves in the form of direct protests, indirect actions, open mutual accusations, open passive resistance (failure to complete tasks or not go to work), etc.

Hidden conflicts make up the bulk of conflict interactions, rivals are trying to suppress each other or impose their will. Hidden actions include denial of support (under various pretexts), information leakage, provision of unprofitable work. At the same time, one of the parties takes a position of detachment, ignorance, providing unnecessary or even harmful assistance in terms of consequences. You can also affect the opponent psychologically, i.e. threaten, intimidate, provide psychological suppression.

The result of the psychological impact can be a feeling of insecurity, distrust, fear or annoyance in the opponent, which absorbs all his energy, changes motivation, makes him simply follow the opponent's lead. Very often, after a successful psychological impact, the opponent is not able to respond to conflict actions.

End of work -

This topic belongs to the section:

The causes of conflicts

Introduction .. causes of conflicts .. classification of conflicts in an organization conflict management in an organization ..

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All topics in this section:

Causes of conflicts
At the heart of any conflict is a situation that includes either conflicting positions of the parties on any issue, or opposing goals or means of achieving them in given circumstances, or not

Organizational conflict management
Organizational methods of conflict management are characterized, first of all, by the purposeful influence of managerial bodies on organizational units and individuals, and the main

Sociological and cultural ways of managing conflicts
In this case, the object of management influence is social relations between members of the organization, the values ​​of its members 1. Changing the content of power relations. Especially

Socio-psychological methods of conflict management
1. Changing attitudes towards group members. This method is necessary, first of all, when managing emotional conflicts, when it is transferred to the personalities of rivals. Therefore, climbed

Conflict Resolution Styles
There are two main strategies of behavior in conflict: the "partnership" strategy is characterized by a focus on taking into account the interests and needs of the partner. The strategy of consent, search and

The main theme of any conflict is justice.. And there are always two conflicting parties, one of which is weaker than the other. Each of the parties is absolutely sure of its fairness and defends its point of view.

With long-term communication, even if people do not live together, over time there are always some changes in the relationship. Where there is communication and relationship, there is friction.

If two people live together, then conflicts cannot be avoided, because each of us is an individual and we are all different. We tend to express our feelings and emotions.

What are the conflicts?

Types of conflicts according to the degree of openness.

I) Hidden Conflict implies two subspecies - passive and passive-aggressive.

1. In the passive version, the participants do not have aggression.

Maria Ivanovna is the director of the company and a good manipulator. She is sure that her subordinates are weaker and will not have the courage to answer her, so Maria Ivanovna often asserts herself at the expense of employees.

Olga, at the request of Maria Ivanovna, was preparing a marketing presentation all weekend and on Monday demonstrated her quality work, to which she heard a public remark from her boss: "My beauty, what kind of hack have you done? This is unprofessional. What are you getting paid for? Dear, please redo the presentation in such and such a way." Thus, she tells Olga: "Know your place."

Maria Ivanovna simply does not like people and, most likely, she has serious unresolved personal problems. In such conflicts, Maria Ivanovna receives constant satisfaction from the "deflection" of her subordinates, and the subordinates silently accumulate resentment and send mental curses in her direction. Neither side will get anything good out of this situation.

2. In a passive-aggressive conflict, one of the participants is aggressive, but stubbornly pretends that everything is fine. He is not looking for a way out and is clearly in his position. He is not constructive, smiles insincerely, does not break into a cry, does not rush with his fists, but inside he has a state of “would break!”. As a rule, at the same time, he does not want to communicate with the second participant. Can whine into a pillow at home, but outwardly behave almost calmly: "Yes, I'm not offended that you, everything is fine."

Protracted conflicts for a passive-aggressive person often result in illness, suffering and deep resentment.

II) In open conflict there is an open systemic demonstration of aggression: "I don't even want to hear!"; "I can't see you!"; "Yes, you went!"; "I'll arrange it for you now, you'll get it from me now!"

The most difficult is the hidden conflict, and of the hidden ones, passive-aggressive.

To release the hidden conflict outward and thereby neutralize it, you can calmly (even with a smile) say to the other participant: "I have a feeling you want to tear me apart." He will probably answer that there is nothing like that and ask where you got it from. You must not back down: "Yes, how not, when I feel" and so on. In most cases, this helps to lighten the mood.

According to the degree of reality, there are real and far-fetched conflicts.

real conflict there is where there are differences in views, desires or ways to achieve goals. As a rule, this is an open confrontation, where disagreements are spoken out, claims and grievances are expressed. Such conflicts occur due to the fact that a person did not speak out in a timely manner and did not declare his life position on this or that situation.

There is only one way out - we sit down at the negotiating table, listen to each other, discuss, find common ground and find the most beneficial solution for both sides. We listen and respect the opponent, do not blame him, do not see the enemy in him. We understand what is Actual need Each participant, but what is an emotional desire. This is a way out of any, even the most difficult situation.

Unrealistic Conflicts always one-sided - these are negative emotions of far-fetched insults and contradictions. Only one person participates in this conflict. As a rule, he inwardly scourges his "offender". This can go on for many years, which the other party often does not even know about.

An example from my practice. A woman divorced her husband 30 years ago and still has an internal dialogue with him. Every day, in a conversation with her friends, she discusses him as if they just broke up yesterday: "Imagine, he said that ...". About 80 % of its vitality is spent on this internal conflict. What a private life!

How to get out of the conflict?

If possible, it is best to meet your opponent in a comfortable environment where you can talk slowly over a cup of tea. And, above all, listen carefully to the interlocutor without interrupting him, even if it seems to you that he is lying or talking complete nonsense. Let him "release steam". Try to keep your speech as minimal as possible and be as friendly as possible. Show him your interest in peace with him.

Do not deny what the opponent says. You can simply say: "You are right in your own way, but try to understand me ..."; "That's true, but what do you think about..." etc.

The phrases are very peaceful: "I understand your position and share your feelings"; "You are a wise woman (reasonable person) and you understand..."; "I'm sure we'll find a solution that suits both of us." But you have to be sincere.

Feel it. What he is, what he wants, what he lives, what he is afraid of.
Be attentive to him, and try to understand what he really wants from you. Do not delve into the words, but into the intonation of his speech. At some point, "turn off the sound" and try to read by gestures.

Find at least minor points of agreement - points on which you do not have disagreements.

Then just ask him what you must do to make peace with him. It doesn't matter if you can do it or not. The main thing is that you will do everything in your power.

If the opponent does not want to talk or avoids meetings, then simply tell (write) him something like this: "What should I do so that we part with you peacefully?".

* If there are specific cases, let's take a look.

We often encounter conflict, but, unfortunately, we cannot always resolve it. difficult situation. Quarrels lead not only to material damage they are harmful to our health. This is what concerns psychological conflicts. But how to deal with more global troubles? And what is conflict anyway?

Concept definition

First of all, it is worth understanding directly the concept. What is conflict? Most often, this is a disagreement between two or more parties, which can be not only individuals, but also entire groups or countries.

Conflict usually occurs when the situation or dispute is important to the parties. Normal people try to avoid dislike and solve everything in a constructive way. There are also more aggressive-minded people. In this case, anything can happen. The outcome of this situation is unpredictable.

It should be understood that avoiding conflict is very difficult. This is a component of human life, and therefore, sooner or later, a person faces difficulties in solving a problem. If you look at all the past centuries, it is difficult to find at least one day that would be devoid of a conflict situation. Most often, disputes are related to finances, power and, of course, personal relationships. Although what is conflict, everyone decides for himself.

Signs of disagreement

To recognize the conflict, you do not need to be a psychologist and scientists. So, we have a situation that is interpreted by other participants as a conflict. Further, there is an object available that is indivisible, that is, it is something that cannot be fairly divided among rivals. And finally, if there is a painless way out of the situation, there are no contradictions, and the opponents want to continue the dispute in order to achieve the goal, then the conflict situation is still present.

So, you can immediately determine what parts the conflict consists of:

• Of the participants who cannot share something.
• From an object that causes a dispute.
• from some incident.
• From the reason, that is, what caused this trouble.
• Dispute resolution methods.

A conflict situation is a contradiction between two or more participants in a dispute, each of which wants to achieve its goal and is not able to yield to the opponent. Often an argument is born because of a fairly weighty reason, but usually conflicts occur because of small things, such as a statement, an alien opinion, etc.

The beginning of the incident can be considered the realization by one of the opponents that his views contradict another opinion. In this case, the opponent begins to impose his opinion or try to eliminate the dispute in his favor. In such a situation, few people understand what a conflict is.

Types of confrontations

The forms of conflicts have a fairly wide gradation, which becomes more and more over time. From a psychological point of view, the dispute can be internal and external. In the first case, our enemy is ourselves. That is, it is a personal conflict that arises within us. Despite the fact that our opponent is us, strangers, as well as our loved ones, can suffer.

An external dispute may include interpersonal, intergroup misunderstandings. This species is quite dangerous, as it can disrupt the functioning of an organization, production, and even an entire state. The reason for such conflicts is the division of power and wealth.

The following classification refers to what contemporary conflicts can be business and informal. In the first case, an organization or business suffers, in the second, relatives and friends. According to the consequences, the dispute can be constructive (useful) or destructive (destructive).

In addition, there may be disputes in politics, at the international level, armed conflicts, inter-ethnic, religious, etc. Of course, this is not the whole gradation of conflict situations. There are symmetrical and asymmetric, open and hidden, objective and subjective. We will consider the most relevant below.

Causes of group disputes

Naturally, there are many reasons, as many people, as many opinions and reasons. But all disputes can be grouped into three groups:

1. Those that arose in the working environment.
2. Those that arose from psychological characteristics each person.
3. Those that arose because of personal qualities.

The first reason often occurs in an organization. labor process- it's quite a complicated matter. Among the factors that contribute to the development of the dispute, one can single out the conscientious performance of one's duties. This kind of conflict can also have its own reasons, but the main dispute lies in the relationship of employees who treat each other negatively or do their job poorly. official duties. This also includes such a factor as the desire for high earnings, a favorable working environment and good rest.

The second group includes such factors as antipathy or sympathy, the latter, by the way, can also harm as much as the former.

The third group includes the human factor. Not everyone is brought up in favorable conditions. Someone does not know how to restrain their emotions, someone, on the contrary, is too secretive. There are sociophobes and there are sociopaths. Each of them in one way or another affects society and also receives a response from society. Therefore, such conflicts are best dealt with by a psychologist.

Political tensions

This dispute is based on the opposition of political subjects, which arose as a result of the rejection of political interests, values ​​and opinions. An important role is played by the contradiction between society and political inequality. These are the most pressing conflicts of states around the world.

There are three types of disputes:

• Interest - this political conflict is easily resolved and is most often based on an economic division. Wealthy countries participate in it.
• Values ​​is a dispute over the values ​​of a developing country. Usually difficult to solve, however, with right approach you can get to the crossroads.
• Identification - a conflict arises due to the desire for identification among countries that strive to be a certain group, and not a specific state. Most often, issues of religion and nationality are involved here.

Such conflicts are also divided into interstate, state and regional. Of course, political conflict can be varied. There are regime or legitimate; positional and opposition; socio-political. In any case, in order to solve such a question, it is necessary first of all to identify the root of the problem, the causes and motives. Also identify the main participants, their goals and desires, assess external factors that affect this controversy.

International issues

International conflicts have arisen and will continue to arise as long as societies and peoples exist. These disputes are always a confrontation of interests, positions and views. Sometimes the consequences of such misunderstandings were catastrophic, while some, on the contrary, lasted for years and subsided, remaining invisible and forgotten to others.

International conflicts can be caused by factors such as:

• Poverty and poverty.
• Imperfection of human nature.
• Inequality.
• Religion.
• Society.
• State system, etc.

Considering such conflicts, scientists argue that rarely is the cause of only one factor, often it is a combination that results in the discontent of entire peoples.

Usually the subjects of such misunderstandings are large states, interstate organizations, international associations and various public unions. The dispute can be brought both to the domestic stage and to the international arena.

When an international crisis occurs, there is usually very little time allocated to resolve the problem, because further armed confrontation may arise. Nevertheless, a crisis is not yet a war, but a conflict for which the parties are ready to take decisive action.

Weapons are ready

Application military force to resolve the contradiction that has arisen between states, peoples or social groups, - a dispute that can also be divided into some subspecies.

Regional armed conflict. Its participants are usually states that belong to the same region. At the same time, the dispute applies to almost all countries that are part of this region.

A local armed conflict is a bilateral confrontation between states. There is only a limited area of ​​military operations, as well as a maximum of two strategic directions.

Armed confrontation is what helps to resolve contradictions of a religious, ethnic and national nature through the use of weapons and violence.

Interethnic problems

This dispute can be attributed to social conflicts, and the most dangerous. This clash is also called inter-ethnic. Usually affects a certain group of society.

At the same time, inconsistency arises between peoples, nations, but does not go beyond the boundaries of one state. Usually such situations arise due to dissatisfaction with the influx of immigrants. Do not forget that interethnic conflicts can develop into regional or local discord. Or completely global, as happened in the First World War, when it all started with the Austrians and Serbs.

There are usually several factors behind this conflict:

• Gradation of groups according to ethnicity.
• Participants are looking for support on the side.
• The presence of political motives.
• Grouping behind national identity.

As for the types of interethnic conflicts, they are as follows:

1. Ethnopolitical - when political interests, covered by an interethnic basis, collide.
2. Interfaith - when they clash because of religious views.
3. Ethnoterritorial - when there are a number of claims different peoples to the same area.

Ethnic conflicts can be resolved by a thorough search for causes in the policy of the state, its location and historical basis.

Frozen Discord

AT different areas this conflict is different signs. But most often this is a confrontation in which the armed offensive stopped, but the peace agreement was not signed. The legislation suggests that this dispute may begin again.

In psychological terms, this conflict, as practice shows, can be called the calm before the storm. When the two sides stopped obstructing each other, but only for a while. Although this term refers to international relations However, it can also be applied in personal problems.

Solution types

Of course, depending on the type of conflict, its solution can be absolutely diverse. Still, there are some factors that can be used to reach a consensus. As practice shows, the conflict can last forever in personal terms, people sometimes just get used to it.

But forgetting is not the way to solve the problem. After all, a situation may arise that will lead to an aggravation of the confrontation, and then everything may turn out to be completely deplorable.

There are several styles of dispute resolution:

• Just leave.
• Smooth (behave as if nothing is happening).
• To force (to turn to the law to force one to accept one's point of view).
• Compromise (give way to an opponent).
• Solve (openly admit to each other in the discrepancy between views and opinions and joint efforts to find a solution to the problem).

The conflict can be resolved in full or in part. In the first case, the dispute is resolved after proving one's case or accepting the opinion of the other party. Partial is a loss of interest in confrontation or a change in the course of a conflict situation.

Effects

Again, it should be pointed out that the consequences of conflicts directly depend on its type. Basically, the consequences can be functional or dysfunctional. This fact affects the subsequent stage of the dispute and the possibility of its recurrence in the future.

The functional consequences of conflicts lead to the fact that the contradiction is resolved in such a way that both parties are satisfied, which means that important problem resolved. It is also obvious that a joint decision leads to the fact that the result is positive and quickly achievable. The consequence of a dispute resolved in this way is the acquisition of positive experience, the dispelling of fears and stereotypes.

In case of dysfunctional consequences main factor- this is the possible origin of the largest dispute. Unproductive relationships, lack of motivation, obstacles to solving problems, psychological and emotional instability of the population - all this often contributes to the escalation of such confrontation into armed conflicts.

It is clear that such controversial situations should still try to avoid. And knowing what conflict is and what are the ways to resolve it can significantly reduce unpleasant situations in the team and personal life. Not to mention the confrontation of states in the political arena.

There are conflicts open and hidden. Open conflicts take the form of a quarrel, scandal, fight, etc. Hidden conflicts do not have a bright external manifestation, it is rather internal discontent, but their influence on marital relations is no less noticeable than the influence of open ones. Indicators of hidden conflict are: demonstrative silence; a sharp gesture or look that speaks of

publicity; boycott of interaction in some area of ​​family life; emphasized coldness in relationships. An open conflict manifests itself more often through: an open conversation in an emphatically correct form; mutual verbal abuse; demonstrative actions (slamming the door, smashing dishes, pounding the table with a fist), physical insults, etc.

Conflicts can also be easily solvable and intractable. First, the cause can be easily identified and eliminated. In the case of intractable conflicts, even if the cause is identified, they are not easy to eliminate, so the relationship between the spouses remains tense. However, the cause that spoiled the relationship should be tried to be eliminated as soon as possible.

Determining the nature of the conflict depends on whether or not it contributes to the preservation and development of marital relations. On this basis, all existing conflicts are considered as constructive(they are desirable and even necessary for the development of relationships in the family) and destructive. The consequence of a destructive conflict is the preservation of long time tension between spouses after a quarrel. Both partners in families with a predominance destructive conflicts consider a real threat of divorce. Constructive conflict involves the removal of tension in the relationship of partners. Although after a quarrel a heavy residue remains, the spouses begin to treat each other more carefully, strive to better understand each other. Subsequently, such a quarrel is perceived as an accident, a misunderstanding.

The goal is not to eliminate or prevent conflict, but to make it productive. The productive development of the conflict, which implies a joint concentration of the efforts of the parties on solving the conflict problem, is in its main features similar to the process of creative thinking. Like the solution of creative problems, it is carried out in several stages: from the knowledge of the problem and unsuccessful attempts to solve it by traditional means through frustration and discomfort to insight that allows you to see the problem from a new angle and find its new solution. It turns out that the destructive function of the conflict is designed to serve as the engine of the process leading to the implementation of the constructive function. The expansion and escalation of the actions of the participants in the conflict, which have a destructive effect on the other participant (i.e., the situation when the destructive function begins to dominate in the conflict), is apparently related to the fact that “an insight that allows you to see the problem from a new angle and find its new solution ”, for some reason, encounters serious obstacles. So, for example, a person's self-concept can interfere with a sober look at conflict situation, without which it is unthinkable to come to a constructive solution.

S. Kratochvil describes the possible positive outcomes of conflicts:

1. One of the spouses learned or understood something, learned something new.

2. Tension decreased due to the fact that complaints and claims were expressed, emotions were given an outlet, irritation decreased.

3. The conflict led to greater mutual understanding and rapprochement, the partners began to feel more that they depend on each other and evaluate each other correctly.

4. As a result of the conflict, a solution to the problem was found, the parties made mutual concessions, further behavior was considered and discussed.

Turning the conflict from destructive to productive, the spouses not only settle the differences and the reasons that led to it, but also take their relationship to a new level: trust between the spouses increases, they become closer spiritually and better understand each other. In a word, the spouses acquire invaluable experience, which turns out to be extremely important in their future family life.

Thus, conflict is a mutual negative mental state of two or more people, characterized by hostility, alienation, negativity in relationships, caused by the incompatibility of their views, interests or needs. Conflicts are divided according to the degree of sharpness of contradictions, according to the problem-activity basis and according to the degree of people's involvement in the conflict. Also, conflicts are open and hidden, easily resolved and intractable, constructive and destructive. Unlike destructive conflicts, constructively resolved conflicts are essential in marital relationships. Therefore, the actions of the participants in the marital conflict should not be aimed at preventing the conflict, but at changing its nature: from destructive to constructive.

1.2. Marital conflicts and mechanisms of their occurrence

The deeper scientists study marital relationships, the more firmly they are convinced of the impossibility of the existence of conflict-free families. All marital unions go through a stage of disagreement. The presence of constructively resolved conflicts is important component such a family structure as a subsystem of a married couple.

Spouses, especially young ones, usually dramatize any controversial situation and believe that the only way out of such a situation is divorce. Conflict matrimonial unions are those in which there are constant quarrels between the spouses, where their interests, needs, intentions and desires collide, giving rise to especially strong and long emotional states.

Psychological research shows that 80-85% of families have conflicts. The remaining 15-20% fix the presence of "quarrels" on various occasions (V. Polikarpov, I. Zalygina). Depending on the frequency, depth and severity of conflicts, crisis, conflict, problematic and neurotic families are distinguished (V. Torokhtiy).

crisis family. The confrontation between the interests and needs of the spouses is acute and captures important areas of family life. Spouses take irreconcilable and even hostile positions in relation to each other, not agreeing to any concessions. Crisis marriage unions include all those that either break up or are on the verge of collapse.

conflict family. Between spouses there are constant areas where their interests collide, giving rise to strong and prolonged negative emotional states. However, the marriage can be preserved due to other factors, as well as concessions and compromise solutions to conflicts.

Problem family. It is characterized by the long existence of difficulties that can deal a tangible blow to the stability of marriage. For example, lack of housing, prolonged illness of one of the spouses, lack of funds for the maintenance of the family, conviction for long term for crime and a number of other problems. In such families, an aggravation of relationships is likely, the appearance of mental disorders in one or both spouses.