Causes of speech aggression. Modern problems of science and education

Introduction…………………………………………………………………………3

1. The concept of verbal aggression…………………………………………………..4

2. Causes of speech aggression…………………………….5

3. Revealing the presence of verbal aggression in communication…………………7

4. Specific forms of speech behavior in subcultures………….9

5. Approaches to the study of aggression…………………………………………….11

5.1. Psychoanalytic concept of aggression, or the theory of drives..11

5.2. The ethological concept of aggression………………………………..12

5.3. Frustration concept of aggression……………………………...13

5.4. The behavioral concept of aggression, or the theory of social learning………………………………………………………………...13

5.5. Psycholinguistic approach to determining the essence of verbal aggression……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

6. Strategies for preventing and mitigating verbal aggression…………..17

Conclusion…………………………………………………………………..19

List of used literature………………………………………20

Introduction

The problem of aggression, verbal and non-verbal, is increasingly becoming the subject of analysis and discussion in linguistic science. Aggression, including verbal, is one of the components of the opposition between good and evil, tolerance (tolerance) and intolerance (intolerance). The need to study this problem is due to its inclusion in the social context, since it is society that acts as a regulator of the various manifestations of this phenomenon.

The purpose of this work is to study speech aggression. To achieve the goal, the following tasks were set:

Define the concept of verbal aggression

Identify approaches to the study of aggression

Identify the causes, prevention and mitigation strategies for verbal aggression

The concept of verbal aggression

Speech (verbal) aggression in the general view can be defined as offensive communication; verbal expression of negative emotions, feelings or intentions in an offensive, rude, unacceptable form in a given speech situation.

According to the dictionary foreign words: actual vocabulary, interpretation, etymology, the word "aggression" in Russian was recorded in the second half of the 18th century with the meaning "an armed attack on a state with the aim of seizing its territory and forcibly subordinating it." Since the second half of the 20th century, the word has acquired a new meaning: "actively hostile behavior of one person towards others."

Dictionary S. I. Ozhegova and N. Yu. Shvedova give the following definition: 1. Illegal from the point of view of international law, the use armed forces by one state against the sovereignty, territorial integrity or political independence of another state. 2. Open hostility, causing hostility.

According to L. Enina, “speech aggression is a sphere of speech behavior, which is motivated by the aggressive state of the speaker.

Psychologically, aggression can be thought of as any form of behavior that aims to harm someone physically or psychologically. This interpretation of aggression is more rigid and categorical than the definitions from linguistic dictionaries, since the very word “damage” (loss, loss, damage) carries a brightly negative connotation, leaving no hope for a quick or possible replenishment of the lost.

Causes of speech aggression

Speech aggression arises under the influence of various motives and acquires different ways of expression.

On the one hand, verbal aggression serves as an expression of negative emotions (reactions to external and internal environmental stimuli) and feelings (a special type of emotional experiences that are relatively stable and arise on the basis of higher human social needs). Emotions and feelings that cause verbal aggression include anger, irritation, resentment, discontent, disgust, contempt, etc.

Such aggression occurs most often as a response to an external stimulus. For example, a person was rude in a store, stepped on a foot on a bus, denied a request, objected to a dispute - the answer to this physical or psychological discomfort can often be scolding, swearing, verbal attacks on the interlocutor, the main function of which is psychological relaxation, withdrawal nervous tension getting rid of negative emotions.

On the other hand, verbal aggression can also arise as a special intention - the speaker's purposeful desire to cause communicative damage to the addressee (humiliate, insult, ridicule, etc.) or to realize some of his needs in such a "forbidden" way (self-affirmation, self-defense, and etc.).

So, for example, schoolchildren can deliberately ridicule a classmate in order to increase their own self-esteem, demonstrate "power", a dominant position, and strengthen their authority in the children's team.

Verbal aggression at the level of negative emotions and feelings acts as aggressive verbal behavior - little conscious activity, manifested in patterns and stereotypes of actions learned by a person either on the basis of imitation of other people's patterns and stereotypes, or on the basis of one's own experience. Deliberate, purposeful, initiative verbal attack is an aggressive speech activity and is defined as a consciously motivated purposeful human activity.

It is the last type of verbal aggression (“per se” - Latin “by itself”, aggression “in its pure form”) that is most dangerous in communicative terms, since it is a thoughtful, planned, prepared speech act, the purpose of which is to cause communicative harm to the addressee, the destruction of the harmony of communication.

In addition, there are special situations in relation to which we can talk about the imitation of aggression - a kind of verbal game. For example, the speaker is joking or wants to demonstrate their potential for hurtful communication.

Such communication often turns into a situation of real verbal aggression, since it takes place in an atmosphere of significant emotional tension and can lead to mutual misunderstanding, disunity, alienation of its participants. What if he is not joking, but really angry?

Another case of imitation of aggression is aggro, which means special ritual actions before the manifestation of real aggression or instead of it. These actions can be both verbal (for example, the chants of football "fans") and non-verbal (for example, priestly tribal dances, gestures and movements of rock concert listeners, etc.).

Speech or linguistic aggression is a form of verbal communication aimed at insulting or deliberately harming a person, a group of people, an organization or society as a whole. Speech aggression is motivated by the aggressive state of the speaker and often aims to cause or maintain the aggressive state of the addressee. Therefore, speech aggression is a violation of the ethical and speech norm. Based on existing classifications, the following types of verbal aggression can be listed:

1. active direct verbal aggression - verbal abuse of smb. or something, insult or humiliation of someone; uttering threats, destructive wishes addressed to someone; calls for aggressive actions, violence;
2. active indirect verbal aggression - the spread of malicious slander or gossip about someone;
3. passive direct verbal aggression - refusal to talk to another person, answer his questions, etc.;
4. passive indirect verbal aggression - refusal to give certain verbal explanations, demonstrative silence.

A fairly common phenomenon of modern speech reality. In everyday life communication and public speaking verbal aggression is equally common. We will show this with examples taken from fiction and newspaper texts.

Active direct verbal aggression includes making threats to someone:

• How they fine him, the bastard, so he will find out from me ... I will show him Kuz'kin's mother! (A. Chekhov);
• If you, unlearned syavka ... at her [Alla Sergeevna's] lesson, blurt out even a word, I'll smear it on the wall. Got it, asshole? (Kunin).

A kind of active direct verbal aggression is a verbal expression of evil, destructive wishes addressed to someone (death, injury, destruction, etc.):

• May you all die! (Kunin).

This group also includes speeches that contain a direct call for aggressive actions against the subject of speech (a call for liquidation, etc.). Often the author aggressively introduces the subject of speech into the sphere of the addressee and encourages him to perform a non-aggressive, but directly or indirectly beneficial action for the addressee. This type of speech influence is manipulative (see linguistic manipulation).

Speech aggression in media texts- it is primarily a means of manipulating the mass consciousness. One or another subject of speech can be presented in such a way as to cause or maintain an aggressive state in the audience and form a negative attitude towards it:

• And what now, when the water was drained in the pond, and on the sticky bottom - only crumpled beer cans, Sobchak's wet shoe, the tattered bodice of Novodvorskaya? There, on this sticky bottom, cautiously, with shortness of breath, the short-sighted Primakov descended and climbs there in the wet mud. He gives something to Maslyukov, and Gerashchenko asks for something. And the three of them, like Duremars, drag a rotten bag in which are wet nuts, bent bicycle wheels and a red, horsehair wig of Chubais (Head, No. 38, September, 1998).

To create and consolidate in the minds of the audience a discrediting image (portrait-denunciation) in the texts of the media, such types of verbal aggression can be used, such as

1. labeling;
2. playing on the name of the object of verbal aggression;
3. injection of repulsive comparisons and associations;
4. savoring unattractive and unpleasant for the object of verbal aggression details, details, circumstances, and more. others

For instance:

• What would you say if a stale piece of meat that you couldn’t finish eating, didn’t finish chewing, was thrown somewhere into the grass, where dogs gnawed at it for several days, flies pecked at, crows pecked at - if this piece was brought to you again on a plate ? People experienced something similar when they learned about the re-appointment of Chernomyrdin (Head, No. 34, August, 1998);
• If Gaidar were a mushroom, he would be a pig (Head, No. 38, September, 1998).

One of the ways to express an aggressive attitude towards the subject of speech is dysphemization (see Dysphemism).

Active direct verbal aggression can be open (explicit) and hidden (implicit). Texts containing open speech have a clear aggressive orientation, contain direct attacks, threats or insults. Hidden verbal aggression is interesting in that its goals are masked by the addresser (for example, under simple informing), and language means are selected in such a way as to evoke negative feelings and emotions in the addressee in relation to the object.

Public self-flagellation and verbal self-humiliation- the most harmless variety of active direct speech aggression for others.

Active indirect verbal aggression- deliberate slander, slander, spreading slander, malevolent speculation: active indirect verbal aggression in media texts has caused many noisy litigation in recent years.

Passive direct verbal aggression, as a rule, is an expression of disregard for the initiator of communication, a demonstration of a negative attitude towards him or a protest against his behavior: one of the forms of verbal rudeness is silence in response to a buyer's question.

For example: (A man and a woman are standing in front of the counter; a woman is talking to a saleswoman)
G. Girl, how much is this hat?
M. (Silence, does not answer).
J. (Offendedly turns to his companion). Difficult to answer!!! Oh my God! What a military secret! I asked her twice! (Russian language of the end of the XX century).

Passive indirect verbal aggression can be considered, for example, unwillingness to intervene and stop verbal abuse against someone, regarded as tacit agreement with the aggressor, approval of his behavior. Significant silence can turn out to be a way to put pressure on a political opponent, i.e. temporary refusal from speeches and journalistic statements of politicians.

Literature:

• Berezhnaya T.M. Modern American rhetoric as a theory and practice of manipulating public consciousness: Dis. ... cand. philol. Sciences. M., 1986;
• Baron R., Richardson D. Aggression. M., 1997;
• Mikhalskaya A.K. Russian Socrates: Lectures on comparative historical rhetoric: Textbook, a guide for students of the humanities. M., 1996;
• Speech aggression and humanization of communication in the media mass media. Yekaterinburg: Ural State University, 1997;
• Skovorodnikov A.P. Linguistic violence in the modern Russian press // Theoretical and applied aspects of speech communication. Issue. 2. Krasnoyarsk-Achinsk, 1997;
• Sharifulin, B.Ya. Linguistic expansion, linguistic aggression, linguistic demagogy // Problems of the development of speech culture of the teacher. Tomsk, 1997;
• Russian language of the end of the XX century (1985-1995) / Ed. E.A. Zemskoy. M., 1996.

What is verbal aggression?

The tasks of studying the topic:

- to get acquainted with the concept of "speech aggression";

- to get acquainted with the main approaches to the study of aggression;

- learn to distinguish speech aggression from related and similar phenomena (vulgarisms, invectives, specific forms of speech behavior in children's and youth subculture);

- learn to identify verbal aggression in specific communication conditions.

* “For some people, speaking means offending: they are prickly and caustic, their speech is a mixture of bile and wormwood tincture; ridicule, mockery, insults flow from their lips like saliva. Are you familiar with what the French satirist-moralist of the 17th century writes about? Jean La Bruyère? How often do you encounter this type of communication? Everyday life? Do you often show rudeness, tactlessness, aggression in your speech?

The terms "speech aggression", "verbal aggression" (Latin invectiva (oratio) - swear words) are widely used both in Russian and foreign scientific literature of recent decades.

What is verbal aggression? How to define this concept?

Speech aggression in its most general form can be defined as follows:

! Speech (verbal) aggression - offensive communication; verbal expression of negative emotions, feelings or intentions in an offensive, rude, unacceptable form in a given speech situation.

Let's consider this definition in more detail.

Speech aggression arises under the influence of various motives and acquires different ways of expression.

On the one hand, verbal aggression serves as an expression of negative emotions(reactions to external and internal environmental stimuli) and feelings(a special type of emotional experiences, characterized by comparative stability and arising on the basis of higher human social needs). Emotions and feelings that cause verbal aggression include anger, irritation, resentment, discontent, disgust, contempt, etc.

Such aggression occurs most often as a response to an external stimulus. For example, a person was rude in a store, stepped on a foot on a bus, denied a request, objected to a dispute - the answer to this physical or psychological discomfort can often be scolding, swearing, verbal attacks on the interlocutor, the main function of which is psychological relaxation, relieving nervous tension, getting rid of negative emotions.

On the other hand, verbal aggression can also occur as a special intention - the speaker's purposeful desire to cause communicative damage to the addressee (humiliate, insult, ridicule, etc.) or to realize some of his needs in such a "forbidden" way (self-affirmation, self-defense, self-realization, etc.).

So, for example, schoolchildren can deliberately ridicule a classmate in order to increase their own self-esteem (“we are better than you”), demonstrate “power”, a dominant position (“we can afford it”), strengthen their authority in the children's team (“we will make you even listen to what you don't like.

Verbal aggression at the level of negative emotions and feelings acts as an aggressive verbal behavior - little conscious activity, manifested in patterns and stereotypes of actions learned by a person either on the basis of imitation of other people's patterns and stereotypes, or on the basis of one's own experience. Intentional, targeted, proactive verbal assault is aggressive speech activity and is defined as "consciously motivated purposeful human activity".

It is the last type of verbal aggression (“per se” - Latin “by itself”, aggression “in its pure form”) that is most dangerous in communicative terms, since it is a thoughtful, planned, prepared speech act, the purpose of which is to cause communicative harm to the addressee, the destruction of the harmony of communication.

In addition, there are special situations in relation to which we can talk about the imitation of aggression - a kind of verbal "game". For example, the speaker is joking (“I am bloodthirsty! I am merciless! I am the evil robber Barmaley! ..”) or wants to demonstrate his potential tendency to offensive communication (“Look how angry I can be!”).

Note that such communication often turns into a situation of real verbal aggression, since it takes place in an atmosphere of significant emotional tension and can lead to mutual misunderstanding, disunity, alienation of its participants (“What if he is not joking, but really angry?”).

Another case of imitation of aggression is the so-called. aggro(the term of the English scientist-psychologist Peter Marsh, 70s of the XX century), which means special ritual actions before the manifestation of real aggression or instead of it. These actions can be both verbal (for example, the chants of football "fans") and non-verbal (for example, priestly tribal dances, gestures and movements of rock concert listeners, etc.).

How can you establish the presence of verbal aggression in communication? Is it possible to consider that aggression is manifested in any rude statement in form?

It is possible to qualify any statement from the point of view of the manifestation of aggression in it only if we rely on context speech situation, i.e. we analyze specific conditions of communication: place, time, composition of participants, their intentions and relations between them.

The conditions for the manifestation of verbal aggression in a given utterance or a specific speech situation are, first of all, the following:

- negative communicative intention of the speaker (for example, to humiliate the addressee, express negative feelings and emotions, etc.);

- inconsistency of the statement with the nature of communication and the “image of the addressee” (for example, familiar address in an official setting; addressing only one interlocutor in group communication; offensive hints towards the interlocutor, etc.);

- negative emotional reactions of the addressee to this statement (resentment, anger, irritation, etc.) and replies reflecting them (accusation, reproach, refusal, expression of protest, disagreement, reciprocal insult, etc.).

So, in an informal situation, characterized by a general positive attitude towards mutual understanding and consent, statements like “Go ahead!” or "You're lying, you bastard!", which are in the form of a rude demand or an insult, in a certain situation they can express surprise or act as a kind of positive assessment. In the latter case, they approximately correspond in meaning to interjections, such as “great!”, “wow!”.

The phrase "I'll kill you!" may, depending on the context, sound both as a serious threat, and as a playful exclamation, and as an indirect invitation to a word game.

It is also necessary to distinguish between verbal aggression from related and similar phenomena of speech.

First of all, it is necessary to distinguish this phenomenon from the use in speech invectives(curses, swear words and expressions) and use vulgarisms(marked by the special sharpness, rudeness of colloquial words and expressions as parallel designations of concepts that can be expressed in literary variants).

It is known that rude statements, especially in children's speech and communication of adolescents, can be used not only to offend or humiliate the addressee, but often simply ... "out of habit." This happens, obviously, due to the low level of speech culture, the poverty of the vocabulary, the lack of the ability to express one's thoughts and feelings in the literary language and the elementary inability to communicate. Sometimes a person seeks in this way to demonstrate "knowledge" of profanity, to show his "adulthood", "emancipation", "originality" (see tasks 4–6).

The use of vulgarisms and invectives, although not necessarily a manifestation of verbal aggression, nevertheless demonstrates the bad manners, tactlessness of the speaker, and the low level of his speech-thinking culture. This feature of abuse was noted by Aristotle: “From the habit of swearing in one way or another, a tendency to commit bad deeds also develops.” No wonder it is believed that a person’s speech is his self-characteristic, and, paraphrasing a well-known saying, it is quite possible to say: “Tell me how you speak, and I will tell you who you are.”

Thus, when analyzing the speech of children and adolescents, it is important to remember and consider the following:

! Vulgar and invective word usage in itself does not express verbal aggression, but unequivocally creates a rudely unacceptable tone of speech, vulgarizes communication, and can provoke rudeness in return.

In addition, it is important to distinguish manifestations of verbal aggression from specific forms of speech behavior in children's and youth subculture.

The children's speech environment, being an integral part of the logosphere of almost any nation, has a number of specific features that allow us to consider it as a kind of layer of a national speech culture, a special sublinguistic subgroup. In this environment, vulgarisms, scolding, swearing are often transformed into socio-speech phenomena that are qualitatively different in their goals and motives.

So, in the speech of adolescents, the invective can act as a means of establishing contact, achieving unity or a way of recognizing each other by members of a certain group of people communicating (classmates, members of a yard company, a company of interest, etc.). For example, when greeting a member of your company, they say to him: “Hi, bastard! Come to us!" (see also the texts of task 4). A prerequisite for the absence of aggression in such a statement is the speaker's confidence that the addressee will not be offended by the invective, and his recognition of the interlocutor's right to respond in a similar way.

In the speech of young children, threats (“horror stories”), ridicule (“teasers”), squabbles often take on the character of word creation, word game, competitions in speech ingenuity.

From real insults should also be distinguished inoffensive (!) Nicknames (“nicknames”) and special ritual invocations.

The former are actively used in the children's and adolescent speech environment. They are distinguished from aggressive statements by relative emotional neutrality and the absence of offensive meaning for the addressee. Their purpose is a special naming, specific naming, designation of the addressee, identification of its distinctive features, selection from a number of similar ones. Such names include, first of all, derivatives of surnames, first names: “Grey” - Sergey, “Kuzya” - Kuznetsov, etc.

If the “nickname” unambiguously disgusts the addressee, is regarded by him as unacceptable, insulting his dignity, then we can talk about the aggressive intention of the speaker, who uses it as a form of address to this person. Often such offensive nicknames are a sophisticated, dissonant, emphatically gross distortion of the surname. real life example this can be the appeal of a sixth grader to a classmate in speech situation XI (Appendix 1): “Babasa” instead of “Babasina”.

Ritual appeals exist in certain youth groups, most often in a closed speech environment striving for isolation, for example, in a variety of youth informal associations, groups (“Tolkienists”, “rappers”, “bikers”, “punks”, “skin- heads", etc.). The purpose of such appeals, often of a vulgar-invective nature, is to recognize each other members of a given language group.

For example, the word "goblin", which can be used as an insult (meaning "ugly", "ugly"), among Tolkienists (admirers of the talent of the American writer R. Tolkien) can be used as a ritual address or greeting. The word "toad", which in everyday speech communication can act as an insult, among some groups of punks several decades ago was a traditional appeal to a girl.

So, let's draw the necessary conclusions:

! Offensive, offensive, aggressive statements should not be confused with statements that are outwardly similar in form and related in situations of use, occurring in the children's speech environment. The aggressiveness of the statement is determined only by the context of the speech situation, the real conditions of communication.

What is the nature of verbal aggression? How does a person develop an inclination to offensive communication? Is it innate or does it not appear immediately, is it acquired in the process of living in society, communicating with other people?

In the theory explaining the nature of human aggression - its origin, formation, causes and mechanisms of manifestation, there are several approaches, different points of view. All of them reflect the empirical experience of specific researchers and scientific schools of different times, but none of them has yet been recognized as universal and exhaustive. This is explained by the fact that in modern science there is still no consensus on the origins and essence of human aggression.

Therefore, within this study guide we will only briefly review basic approaches to the study of aggression.

1. Psychoanalytic concept of aggression, or drive theory

The founder of this theory is an Austrian psychiatrist and psychologist Sigmund Freud - scientist who is credited with addressing the problem of human aggression as an object scientific analysis. Within the theory of drives, aggression is defined as an innate instinct.

Freud distinguishes between two types of human instincts - "primal urges": "life instinct"(sexual, libido) - creative, associated with love, care; and "death instinct" destructive, expressed in anger, hatred, "leading everything organically living to a state of lifelessness".

In general, adherents of the theory of drives hold a pessimistic view of the possibility of a person overcoming his aggression, believing that it can only be temporarily restrained or transformed into safe forms, directed to less vulnerable targets.

Control over aggressive manifestations, according to this theory, is determined by the need for a constant discharge of aggression - an outburst of negative emotions, for example, by observing violent actions, destroying inanimate objects, participating in sports, achieving success in business, etc.

The views of Z. Freud were partly divided W. Mac Dougol, H.D. Murray and other scientists who consider the aggressive component of motivation as one of the fundamental ones in human behavior. Subsequently, many psychoanalysts (for example, A. Adler) moved away from Freud's rigid scheme and began to consider not only biological, but also social side human aggression.

2. This is the logical concept of aggression

Ethology - the science of the behavior of animals and humans (Greek ethos - custom + logos - science, knowledge; founders - Austrian scientists Konrad Lorenz and Niko Tinbergen, 30s of the XX century) - also studies the biological basis of aggression as one of the natural instincts, which "under natural conditions, like others, serves to preserve life and species" .

The manifestation of aggression is associated with the concept of hierarchy (Greek hieros - sacred + arche - power; relations of subordination, the order of subordination of the lower to the higher) and the phenomenon of dominance (Latin dominantis - dominant; desire for dominance, predominance, leadership). Aggression is seen as the basis of dominance, which, in turn, is a consequence of aggression and determines the hierarchical order. human relations. The reason for the hierarchy is competition associated with the struggle for power, social position and recognition, strengthening positions in the team, etc.

Aggression can be observed both within the community (struggle for leadership) and go beyond it. So, ridicule by children of a person who does not belong to their group is an example of verbal aggression directed outward, at a “non-member of the group”.

In general, supporters of the ethological concept are optimistic about the possibilities of controlling manifestations of aggression in modern human society. Recognition of the biological nature of aggression does not force one to recognize the inability of a person to curb it in himself and in society. Therefore, as K. Lorentz rightly asserts, “the newly emerging conditions of human life categorically require the emergence of ... a braking mechanism that would prohibit manifestations of aggression ...” .

Thus, approaching the theory of drives in the biological approach to the study of aggression, the ethological concept is not a direct development of the ideas of Z. Freud. If, within the framework of the theory of drives, the passion for destruction is opposed to sexuality and life in general, then ethologists believe that aggression contributes to the survival of the whole species ( human society) and an individual (specific person).

These theories are also different in their approaches and methods of studying the nature of aggression. If Freud and his followers pay attention mainly to the organization of human mental activity, then the leading method of ethology is a scrupulous description of holistic behavior in communicative processes, based on observations and experiments.

3. Frustration concept of aggression

The theory, the founder of which was an American researcher john dollar, is an alternative to the instinctive-biologising approach, considering the aggressive behavior of a person not as an evolutionary, but as a situational process.

Aggression is studied here not as an attraction that automatically arises in the human body, but as a result of the action of frustrators - insurmountable barriers to achieving a goal, satisfying needs, getting pleasure, causing frustration (Latin frustratio - deceit; failure, failure; breakdown) - a state of confusion , depression, a feeling of disappointment, oppressive tension, anxiety, hopelessness. Aggression is the result of frustration.

For example, a child whose mother does not allow to indulge may express verbal aggression towards her in the form of insults (“You are bad!”), Threats (“I won’t eat your porridge!”), Reproaches of dislike (“You don’t love me! ") etc.

One of the essential ideas of the frustration theory, borrowed from psychoanalysis, is the effect of catharsis (Greek katharsis - "purification of emotions") - the process of releasing accumulated energy, leading to a decrease in the level of tension. It is believed that the physical or verbal expression of aggression leads to temporary relief, as a result of which psychological balance is achieved and the readiness for a new aggressive act is weakened.

4. The behavioral concept of aggression, or the theory of social learning (English behavior - behavior: the founders - B. - E. Thorndike and J. Watpson)

Ideas about aggression within the framework of this concept are associated with the ancient myth of “tabula rasa” (lat. “blank slate”, i.e. a board on which nothing was written before and you can write anything you want: the ancient Greeks and Romans wrote pointed stick (style) on waxed tablets, and the writing was easily erased). The English philosopher John Locke (1632-1704), following Aristotle, used this expression to characterize the initial state of a person, the soul of a child.

Aggression is studied in behaviorism as an acquired form of behavior, learned in the process of socialization through observation of the appropriate mode of action and social reinforcement. The child observes and copies aggressive actions, statements of people around him - parents, teachers, peers, etc., which unconsciously "teach" him aggressive behavior, give negative example to emulate.

However, many behaviorists (A. Bandura, A. Bass etc.) aggression itself is defined as an innate quality of a person, while “control over aggressive impulses and their indirect expression” are not considered as innate: “they are the result of learning”.

The most important element of the theory of social learning is positive and negative reinforcement, with the help of which one can, in particular, control aggressive behavior.

Positive reinforcement - "an event that coincides with an action and leads to an increase in the likelihood of re-committing this action": for example, praise, verbal expression of approval, a positive assessment of students by the teacher in the lesson.

Negative reinforcement - "any unpleasant event or stimulus that can be stopped or avoided by changing behavior" : for example, censure, verbal expression of disapproval.

As part of a comparative analysis of various theories of aggression, it is impossible not to mention the work of the German-American psychologist and sociologist Erich Fromm"Anatomy of human destructiveness", which proposes a peculiar approach to the problem under study, based on a comparison of the theories of aggression described by us.

Thus, Fromm proposes to distinguish between two completely different types of aggression - "benign" and "malignant". The first is defined as “a reaction to a threat to the vital interests of an individual”, which is inherent in phylogeny, that is, due to the very biological nature of man. This is a defensive aggression that arises spontaneously as a reaction to a threat, fades with the disappearance of the danger or threat to life, and thus determines the survival of the human race.

"Malignant" aggression, according to Fromm, is not found in animals, it is peculiar only to humans. It is not connected with the preservation of life, it brings biological harm and social destruction. This is cruelty, destructiveness, which is based not on a natural instinct, but on a certain human potential, due to psychological and social factors.

E. Fromm argues with representatives of the "biologising" approach to the study of aggression (in particular, with Z. Freud and K. Lorenz). He believes that "the explanation of the cruelty and destructiveness of man should be sought not in the destructive instinct inherited from animals, but in those factors that distinguish man from his animal ancestors ...".

Thus, according to Fromm, all reactions that can cause a physiological effect are not closed on the innate mechanisms of the psyche and therefore can and should be controlled and directed by human consciousness.

5. Psycholinguistic approach to determining the essence of verbal aggression

Since the subject of our study is not the phenomenon of aggression in general, but a special kind, inherent only to a person as a native speaker of a language - the aggression of a word, it is necessary to consider some provisions of the psycholinguistic concept, which allows us to establish the essence of verbal aggression, its verbal and cogitative mechanisms.

Based on the psychological theory of activity (AN. Leontiev, A.A. Leontiev, A.R. Luria, P.Ya. Galperin etc.) and using its terminology, an aggressive speech act can be considered as an internalization of an act, that is, “a transition, as a result of which processes external in their form ... are transformed into processes that occur in the mental plane, in the plane of consciousness; at the same time, they undergo a specific transformation - they are generalized, verbalized, reduced and, most importantly, become capable of further development…» .

In other words, the essence of verbal aggression lies in a special transformation of external processes (various human reactions to negative emotional stimuli) into internal processes associated with speech-thinking activity, since the most important form Expression of emotions in humans is speech.

For example, the feeling of pain in the leg that we stepped on in transport, or the feeling of resentment caused by the inattention of the seller in the store, can be expressed in verbal forms - for example, in insults (“You walk like an elephant!”), threats (“I will complain !”, “You will be fired!”), etc.

It is important to note that verbal and physical aggressive acts have common motives, mechanisms and structure. “Speech action is constructed as a reflection of material action. To do this, the latter ... is deployed and transferred step by step to the speech plane. Certain terms and turns of language are associated with certain elements and operations of material action, arranged in such a way as to reflect its course […]. Speech is a form of objective action, and not just a message about it.

It is also necessary to pay attention Special attention to the fact that psycholinguists (as well as ethologists and behaviorists) not only recognize the possibility, but also affirm the necessity of a person's control over his own speech actions, the regulation of his speech behavior. For example, L. S. Vygotsky insists on “subordinating a person’s behavior to his own power”, rightly believing that speech serves “social coordination of behavior”.

A. A. Leontiev expresses a similar idea, believing that speech activity “implies public control carried out in social, exteriorized forms of power".

Summarize in the form of a table the main provisions of various approaches to the study of aggression (sample filling is provided)

So, we have established that aggression is a complex, multifaceted phenomenon, and considered two main points of view on the nature of human aggressiveness:

– biological an approach that defines aggression as an innate, genetically determined human quality (drive theory, ethological concept);

– social an approach that considers aggression as acquired in the process of socialization (behaviorism) or situational (frustration theory) behavior.

Being a specific human activity or form of behavior, verbal aggression must be controlled in all its manifestations, both in everyday, everyday communication and in professional speech, and above all in pedagogical communication.

The problem of speech aggression in modern Russian studies (theoretical review)

The Russian language is characterized today, as many researchers note, by a decrease in the level of speech culture, invectivization and vulgarization of speech, and propaganda of violence in the media. All this is the result of increased aggressiveness public consciousness.

Society neglects the fact that verbal aggression is no less dangerous than physical aggression: it has a destructive effect on the consciousness of the participants in communication, makes it difficult to fully exchange information, and reduces the possibility of mutual understanding between communicants. In this regard, in our opinion, every person today needs to have an idea of ​​​​what verbal aggression is in order to be able to deal with it.

Definition of verbal aggression

There are several definitions of the term "speech (verbal, verbal) aggression".

In the stylistic encyclopedic dictionary of the Russian language, edited by M.N. Kozhina defines verbal aggression as “the use of linguistic means to express hostility, hostility; manner of speech that offends someone's self-esteem, dignity.

E.N. Basovskaya in the article "The Creators of Black and White Reality: On Verbal Aggression in the Media" writes about the ambiguous interpretation of this term. So, with its narrow understanding as aggressive, - she believes, - a speech act is considered that replaces an aggressive physical action. With a broad interpretation, these are "all types of offensive, dominant speech behavior." [Basovskaya 2004: 257]

Another interpretation of this term is given by L. Enina in her article “Speech aggression and speech tolerance in the media”. Here she writes that verbal aggression is a sphere of verbal behavior motivated by the aggressive state of the speaker. [Enina 2003: 2]

E. Morozova understands verbal aggression as “a violation of established speech communicative etiquette norms ... (the use of inappropriate expressions, which is an invasion of the addressee’s personal sphere, misuse or not using the expected speech formulas).

The authors of the article "Features of verbal aggression" Glebov V.V. and O.M. Rodionov define this term as "conflict speech behavior, which is based on the installation on negative impact to the addressee. [Glebov, Rodionova 2006: 252]

And, finally, in an article published on the website www.school.promiranet.ru, verbal aggression is defined as “rude, offensive, offensive communication; verbal expression of negative emotions, feelings or intentions in a form unacceptable in a given speech situation.

In the definition of the concept we are studying, we adhere to the opinion of E. Basovskaya (see above).

Causes of verbal aggression

Speaking about the causes of verbal aggression, Yu.V. Shcherbinina in her book "Verbal Aggression" writes that one of the reasons is "insufficient awareness ... of one's own speech behavior in general and, in particular, of the aggressive components in it." [Shcherbinina 2006: 42]

Aggression can be caused by “linguistic incompetence (ignorance of the word and its meaning),” writes V. Tretyakova.

Another reason that V. Tretyakova notes in her article is "inadequate defensive actions taken in connection with the misinterpretation of words." [Tretyakova 2000: 135]

L. Enina, discussing this problem, writes that we all experience a feeling of aggression if we consciously or unconsciously feel a threat to ourselves, our loved ones, our comfort, “and the feeling of threat causes rejection, repulsion and an aggressive state.” [Enina 2003: 4]

We read about the causes of aggression on the pages of newspapers in the article by L. Raciburgskaya: “In order to survive and remain competitive in the information arena, the media turn to the interests of the crowd and build their model in accordance with them ... Recently, the general the tone of modern media is very often ironic, skeptical, mocking, and sometimes mocking ... As a result, - L. Ratsiburgskaya sums up, - newspaper and magazine language has acquired the character of verbal aggression. [Raciburgskaya 2006: 56]

It is also necessary to single out the "purely professional, or rather personal and professional reason ..." of verbal aggression in the media, about which I Dzyaloshinsky writes. And he clarifies what has been said: firstly, this is low intelligence and, accordingly, low speech culture when a journalist does not know how to express his thoughts and replaces the accuracy of the statement with the emotionality of speech; secondly, "... a journalist, obsessed with an idea, ... seeks to use all possible speech resources so that the idea with which he is sick becomes a universal disease." [Dzyaloshinsky 2008: 2]

Mechanisms of verbal aggression. Verbal aggression as a discrediting strategy

An adequate understanding of the mechanisms of verbal aggression is impossible without realizing the fact that verbal aggression is one of the types of speech strategies.

Speech strategies have been studied in detail by Oksana Sergeevna Issers in her book Communicative Strategies and Tactics of Russian Speech.

“For a person who is used to reflecting on his own speech,” she writes, “strategic and tactical planning of speech actions is a completely conscious task.” [Issers 2006: 51]

A conversation or a conversation, as the author of the book rightly notes, is not a chaotic, but an ordered phenomenon, when a person sets a certain goal for himself and tries to achieve it with the help of his own speech actions.

The speech strategy, therefore, is a "complex of speech actions aimed at achieving a communicative goal" (ibid., p. 54). Speech actions that contribute to the implementation of a particular strategy are called speech tactics. That is, speech strategy and tactics are related as kind and species.

There are different types of strategies: control over the topic, attracting attention, building an image, etc. But we are interested in such a type of speech strategies as the strategy of discrediting, i.e. strategy of verbal aggression. The purpose of this strategy is to humiliate, insult, laugh at the interlocutor. And tactics will be insult, threat, ridicule, accusation, hostile remark, reproach, slander, etc.

V. Tretyakova explains in the article “Conflict through the eyes of a linguist” how the speaker chooses certain speech actions depending on his communicative goals.

The author of the article notes that speech is an individual phenomenon, depending on the author-performer, "it is a creative and unique process of using language resources." [Tretyakova 2000: 127] Tretyakova writes further that the correct choice of language means, which justifies the expectations of a communication partner, harmonizes communication. But both in language and in speech, there are such features that create various interferences and misunderstandings that lead the subjects of communication to conflict. But the linguistic sign itself is "virtual", as the researcher writes; it actualizes its real meaning (including conflict-provoking properties) only in relation to the act of speech. “But a linguistic sign that has such properties does not always reveal them in a statement,” notes V. Tretyakova. Actualization or non-actualization of the properties of a linguistic sign, which create the basis for a communicative conflict, depends, according to the author of the article, on the participants in communication. It is their communicative experience, language competence, individual language habits, etc. allow you to eliminate communication interference or exacerbate them and bring the situation to a conflict.

The type of communication (conflict - non-conflict) is judged by its result, - says V. Tretyakova. O. Issers also writes about this in his book. And the result of communication is usually associated with the purpose of communication, - we read further from V. Tretyakova, - with the achievement / non-achievement of the speaker's speech intention. But goals can be achieved in different ways. “For example, the goal of inducing the interlocutor to some desired action for the speaker can be achieved with the help of a speech act of a polite request or order, expressed with the help of an imperative, invective vocabulary, insulting and humiliating the personality of the interlocutor.”

Installation on the conflict, i.e. The speaker's choice of a strategy of verbal aggression is characterized, according to the author of the article:

choice of behavior with an active influence on the communication partner;

using negative lexical means;

with the dominance of the role of the speaker,

with violation of communicative norms of behavior,

with labeling,

using direct and indirect insults, etc.

Spheres of existence of speech aggression

As V. Glebov and O. Rodionova write in their article, “speech aggression can manifest itself within any type of communication (interpersonal, group, mass) and any discourse, regardless of its temporal and national factors.”

The most “favorable” for the manifestation of verbal aggression are the following areas of life:

·family;

· school and other educational institutions;

·army;

· sector of the economy in which low-skilled workers are employed and is used primarily physical work;

· contacts of sellers and buyers;

· parliamentary struggle;

·MEDIA.

In particular, the article published on the website www.school.promiranet.ru - "Speech aggression at school and ways to overcome it" is devoted to the problem of verbal aggression at school.

The author of the article notes the particular relevance of this problem for the children's speech environment and pedagogical communication. “Children can verbally humiliate, ... insult, intimidate, ridicule each other,” the author writes, “... but at the same time they do not evaluate their speech as aggressive, they are not capable of an objective assessment of their own speech behavior, and therefore, of analyzing and changing it.”

Further in his article, the author draws our attention to the fact that aggression is often characteristic of the speech of teachers, and it manifests itself in an increase in tone, sharp exclamations, rude remarks, sarcastic mockery, etc. (“Shut your mouth!”, “Get out of the classroom! I count to three ...”). The author talks about the dangerous consequences of aggression in the speech of teachers, since “schoolchildren learn an aggressive model of speech behavior and transfer it to communication with each other (ibid.).

Many articles have been devoted to the problem of verbal aggression in the media, among them: “Creators of black and white reality: on verbal aggression in the media” by E. Basovskaya; “Speech aggression and speech tolerance with the media” by L. Enina; “Speech aggression in the media and crime” by E. Lopukhova; "Usage foreign words as a manifestation of verbal aggression. Statement of the problem” T.G. Kotova; "About verbal aggression in modern media" L. Raciburgskaya.

Concerning this problem, L. Raciburgskaya writes that with the liberalization of social relations, there was also a liberalization in the language, which was reflected in the texts of the media. “... Media texts began to be distinguished by brightness, creative imagination and the immediacy of lively speech, stiffness, tightness, standardity disappeared ...” On the other hand, this led to a clear “brute force” of expression, a manifestation of the bad taste of writing journalists. [Raciburgskaya 2006: 56]

If earlier journalists somehow focused on the written language fiction, now their texts are close to the style of everyday speech, - notes L. Raciburgskaya. “This cannot go unnoticed for the language spoken by society - after all, people in their everyday speech, as a rule, are guided not by samples of fiction, but by television and newspaper language ...” (ibid.).

We read almost the same thing in an article by E. Basovskaya, where she writes that the emotional state of a modern person largely depends on the media: not only on the topics of newspapers, magazines, etc., but also on their style. Journalists, in order to make their publications as attractive, interesting and convincing as possible, "often choose an aggressive speech strategy." [Basovskaya 2004: 257]

E. Basovskaya argues that a person who is characterized by aggressive speech behavior does not always act consciously. “In this sense, the texts of the print media are not quite typical,” she writes (ibid.). Comparing verbal aggression in direct oral communication with verbal aggression in the replicas of journalists, the author of the article comes to the conclusion that the verbal aggression of the latter manifests itself “in accordance with a well-thought-out strategy”, and not under the influence of an emotional outburst. For journalists, verbal aggression is “not a means of struggle, but a fashionable ... rhetorical device” (ibid., 257-263). Whereas verbal aggression in oral communication "serves as a crude volitional means", acts as an instrument of self-defense, performs "compensating functions, replacing physical aggression" (ibid., p. 263).

L. Enina in the article "Speech aggression and speech tolerance in the media" speaks of two options for the manifestation of cases of speech aggression in texts:

Relying on linguistic analysis texts, L. Enina highlights several images of the enemy in the modern press:

enemy in the form of power, those in power. Included in the opposition "People - power";

an enemy among ethnic strangers;

external enemy. Opposition "Russia - West";

The author of the following article on verbal aggression in the media (E. Lopukhova "Speech aggression in the media and crime") writes that often in texts and messages "amplifiers of the aggressive information flow" are used, such as:

use of words like: victim, murder, maniac, etc.;

a vivid description of aggression: a brutal murder, a torn body;

use of words that offend certain representatives various structures: policeman - "cop", "garbage"; the seller is "trader", "huckster".

On overcoming verbal aggression

According to scientists, the aggression of speech demonstrates an authoritarian style of communication, lack of professionalism and leads to alienation, hostility, and misunderstanding. Therefore, aggression is ethically unacceptable and ineffective from a communicative point of view. In this regard, it is necessary to learn how to control, restrain, overcome verbal aggression. There is a scientific literature with practical recommendations for overcoming verbal aggression. So, L. Enina in her article calls on journalists to reduce verbal aggression by refusing direct evaluative oppositions, from rude evaluative expressions of images of “alien”, “due to an analytical approach to this problem”. [Enina 2003: 5]

An article on our topic, published on the website www.school.promiranet.ru, provides a list of private methods of controlling verbal aggression in specific speech situations, which, according to the author, must be used by every civilized person:

1.Ignoring verbal aggression (silence in response to an aggressive statement; refusal to continue communication, etc.).

2.Switching attention (you need to try to change the hostile mood of the interlocutor, transfer the conversation to another topic).

."Tactical doubt", or the method of "incitement" (targeted verbal "provocation").

.Positive evaluation statements.

.Open verbal censure (it must be expressed in the correct form, with the obligatory use of the necessary politeness formulas).

Joke. Humor.

To prevent aggression, it is also proposed to use the means of speech etiquette:

·apology;

· mediated expression of motivation ("Maybe you ...?"; "Won't you do ...?");

· polite treatment;

· euphemisms (from the Greek eu - “good” and phemi - “I say”), i.e. more soft words or expressions instead of rude or swear words (“untrue” instead of “lie”).

verbal aggression

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Today, teachers are increasingly talking about verbal aggression. O physical manifestations We have already talked about childish aggression, but the aggression of the word is no less alarming - swears, insolently, snaps, bickers.

Rough, uncontrollable, stubborn - more and more often we say such words about our children.

What is verbal aggression?Speech aggression - communication is rude, offensive, offensive.

Recall manifestations of physical aggression: the child fights, pushes, bites, swears, dares, snaps, bickers.

Already a four-month-old child, if he is not allowed to move his arms for some time, reacts with a cry and angry facial expressions.

What are the manifestations of speech aggression in middle and older preschoolers?Verbal aggression is manifested in insults and threats, rude demands and refusals, accusations and ridicule (for example, "teasers", "name-calling", "screeching", "whining", "mumbling", etc.); more hidden, indirectly - in complaints, slander.

Each of us asks the question: “Where do children get so much rudeness and aggression?”. Aggression is increasingly involved in children's games and entertainment, penetrates into their conversations and, what is especially terrifying, is becoming the norm for our children. Insults, threats, rude demands, accusations, ridicule are heard from all sides. It seems to be constantly talking about goodness, about mutual understanding, about friendship and honor, about moral values. And it's all for nothing.

Why, in fact, do we talk so much with our children about elementary respect for each other, and in response we hear insulting nicknames addressed to each other, insults and ridicule? There must be a reasonable explanation for this.

Causes of speech aggression:

Speech aggression preschool age may arise as an imitation of the behavior of adults, "like an adult."

It turns out that children learn verbal rudeness from us adults! Parents, educators kindergarten, nannies, acquaintances, just random people.

Trying to avoid offensive statements in one’s own speech and mastering the ability to correctly respond to the rudeness of the interlocutor, not to provoke him into offensive communication is a feasible task for a civilized person, and for a teacher, whose profession involves increased responsibility for their speech actions, it is especially necessary.

Let's try to analyze the behavior of the educator in terms of verbal aggression.

The speech of educators sometimes demonstrates a dismissive-rude or imperative-patronizing attitude towards children, which is manifested in harsh remarks (“You draw like a chicken with your paw!”); rude demands (Shut your mouths!); humiliating references to children by their last names, and sometimes insults and often threats ("I'll punish you now!"...). How many times a day we have to raise our tone! We think that this is justified. After all, we have something to teach them to everyone, those who want to learn, and those who are not interested in it at all!We do not think that with our tone we are accustoming children to aggressive verbal behavior.

Achieving obedience, we unconsciously provoke children to reciprocal verbal aggression - a protest, a rude refusal, a desire to do or say "out of spite".

Now we will play the game "Find a Pair"

Here are written models of negative speech behavior of teachers.

I read you an example, and you define a pattern of negative verbal behavior.

Stereotypical communication attitudes modern society "You must be able to hit back", "You must respond to an offensive word with offensive ones", "Otherwise you will not survive"

Loyal attitude to the rudeness of everyone's favorite"I do not know what to do -

I started to be rude to the elders.

And they to me:

- dove,

Eat soon! The soup is getting cold!

And they to me:

- son,

Put in another piece?

And they to me:

- granddaughter

Lie down, lapusya, on the barrel! .. "

(S.V. Mikhalkov, "Lapusya")

Lack of targeted training in etiquette communication"Is it possible to swear like that?!", "It's impossible!", "What are you talking about!"

Underestimation of the positive aspects of the child's activities"You are always...!", "You are always...!", "You can expect everything from him!", "He needs an eye and an eye!"

Negative personal experience communication of a particular child"Teasers", mockery, cruel jokes, competitions in verbal sophistication, the game "who will argue with whom", hanging verbal labels such as "sneak", "liar", "imagined", "bespectacled", "brake", etc.

Propaganda of certain forms of verbal aggression in modern media"Bad words" swear by a favorite singer or cartoon character, the popularity of action and thriller genres with the corresponding models of speech behavior of characters and a set of verbal clichés

Open verbal aggression of the teacher“You draw like a chicken with your paw!”, “How much can you repeat ?!”, “How did you get me!”, “Shut your mouths!”, “Wash your hands quickly!”, “I’ll put you in a corner!”, “I count to three .. ."

The inability of the teacher to control the behavior of children in a conflict situation leads to alienation, hostility. Misunderstanding. On the other hand, using the aggression of the word as a way of communicative influence, the teacher also does not achieve either methodological or educational goals, but only demonstrates an authoritarian style of communication and a lack of professionalism. In addition, children learn an aggressive model of speech behavior and transfer it to communication with each other.

Now we will conduct a small test “Do you often become a participant in verbal aggressive behavior?”

It is hardly possible to talk about the complete elimination of verbal aggression from pedagogical communication. However, one can learn to successfully control, restrain, overcome the aggression of the word, without resorting to reciprocal rudeness.

Do not forget that tolerance is tolerance, indulgence is a necessary professional quality teacher, which implies the correctness of assessments, the ability to forgive, recognition of the child's right to his own opinion.

Ways to effectively respond to children's verbal aggression

1. "Ignoring verbal aggression" is a communicative tactic that assumes that the teacher does not respond to rudeness, pretends not to notice it, and demonstrates external disinterest. This tactic has a psychological impact on the "aggressor" (surprise effect) and destroys his "negative scenario" (deceived expectation effect). It is used if aggression does not pose an immediate threat to the child and other people.
2. "Switching attention" - distracting the child from performing unwanted actions. The main ways to switch attention: transferring the conversation to another topic, an unexpected question, an unusual task, an interesting game.
3. "Projection of positive personal qualities and behavioral reactions "- actualization (voicing, verbal designation, public reminder) of the positive qualities of the child or the expression of a provocative doubt that deliberately offends the child's pride, challenges him (a way of" provoking "). For example: "You are smart, mature, patient, capable girl!"; "Is it really our Misha who is saying this?"; "Well, Misha, I didn't expect such a thing from you!"; "I'm ashamed of you!"; "It must be hard for you to show patience and restraint!" and so on. . P.
4. "Role reversal" - modeling a situation in which the "aggressor" is in the place of the "victim", in order to achieve awareness of the wrong behavior through empathy. Options for verbal implementation: "So you want anyone in the group to clean toys, but not you?"; "And would you yourself be pleased to hear what you are now saying to me?"; "Imagine that you are in the right place..." etc.
5. "Release the genie" - without interrupting or commenting, allow the child to express their negative emotions, give the opportunity to fully "speak out", and then calmly and slowly discuss the situation. It is possible to combine this method with subsequent paraphrasing of the child's words in a more correct form. For example: "I understood what you wanted to say ...", "Probably you meant ...".
6. “If you can’t resist something, lead it” - used in situations that are more of a passion for the game, pampering, tomfoolery than real aggression, is to intentionally strengthen negative actions, bringing them to the highest point or exaggerating to the point of absurdity. For example: "Let's shout together! I bet I can do it louder? Well, even louder! .. More ...".
7. "Partial consent" ("Yes, but ...") - listen carefully and accept the child's claims; if possible, partially satisfy them, but on the whole keep the main line of requirements. Variants of speech constructions: "Yes, Seryozha did a bad thing - he hit you. But you yourself just took the pencil case from him! So both of you are wrong and should make peace."
8. "Attracting "allies"" - to enlist the real or imagined support of children, relatives, acquaintances or just people who happened to be nearby. Examples of speech clichés: "Don't shout, please - high school students are already looking at you!"; "I don't think the guys approve of you... Really?"; "Daddy wouldn't like what you're saying!" etc.
9. "Appeal to pity" - when assessing a conflict situation, focus not on the child's misconduct or his aggressive statements, but on his own emotional state(disappointment, discomfort, shame). Relevant verbal clichés: "You hurt me a lot!"; "Your words upset me very much!"; "Please have pity on me," etc.
10. "Self-punishment" - invite the child to come up with his own punishment for the misconduct. Possible forms of verbal embodiment: "You love justice in everything. So come up with a punishment for ..."; "What would you do with a person who did this?"
11. "Persuasion" is a direct explanation of the necessary rules of speech behavior, norms of communication.

This should not:

Moralize abstractly: "You have to behave well", "You need to be smart", etc.;

convince the impossible:

- "Never argue with anyone";

Raise your tone and speak unnecessarily pathetically: "Mikhail, I am deeply outraged by your terrible behavior!"

A special role in preventing the aggression of the word is played by the means of speech etiquette. Let's think about whether all our appeals to children, requests, objections are polite? Do we always apologize for a harsh remark, an unfair assessment, an erroneous opinion?

Russian speech etiquette also involves many ways of indirectly expressing motivation, requests: the form of the question (“Is it worth it to swear?”), the use of the subjunctive mood (“It would be nice for us ...”), the use of a not very complex hint (“You don’t tell me something at all today like it ”- an indication of the violation of etiquette by children, please stop swearing, bickering).

You should clearly imagine the level of development and the real possibilities of a preschooler, try to look at the problems through his eyes, and often remember yourself at that age when the steps in the entrance seemed high.