Personal space is a comfort zone. Private zone

Hello, dear readers of Valery Kharlamov's blog! I think you have heard the expression "personal space" more than once. But what is it? How to find it in yourself or a close friend? And, especially what to do with this information then?

What are personal boundaries?

Each country has its own laws, norms and rules of conduct, the violation of which entails punishment, up to and including imprisonment. But what about a friend who can afford, drunk, to call you at three in the morning because he's bored? Or with a loved one who believes that you should not have secrets from him, so he allows himself to check work correspondence or calls from friends?

Or with neighbors who “borrowed” a working tool from you a year ago and have the audacity to ask for something else, stating that just for a couple of days? If all this suits you, this is one thing, but if every time you feel anxiety, anxiety and irritation, then it's time to start protecting your borders. Because you are responsible for their safety, and not those bad and ill-mannered people who do not understand that they are causing concern.

You are closing front door before going to bed? So, personal space or boundaries is a person's awareness of their features and characteristics, the understanding that she has differences from other people. It is this separateness that is the true “I”, when a person knows what makes him happy, sad, what makes him angry and does not like what he wants or vice versa, he is afraid.

And this knowledge arose in the process of recognizing oneself, if a person is able to listen to himself and notice himself, and not because his mother or wife said so, the authorities like it or it is accepted in society.

What is personal space?

There are also zones along which it is quite realistic to measure the distance over which we allow different people.

1. Intimate zone. As the name implies, this is the most vulnerable place, to which only close people are allowed, or those with whom you want physical contact. It is generally accepted that it occupies approximately 15 to 45 cm directly from the human body.
2. Personal zone. From 45 cm to 1 m, 20 cm. Acquaintances, colleagues, friends, and so on usually communicate at this distance.
3. Social. Distance from 1 m, 20 cm to 3 m, 60 cm. This zone is for people we don't know. Suppose, getting into the same room with them, we will unconsciously keep them away.
4. Public. Getting to a concert, lecture and similar place where there is a large crowd of people, we will try to keep a distance of about 3 meters and 60 cm from them. This is usually necessary for the lecturers and artists themselves in order to feel at least a little safe.

Violation

It should be borne in mind that psychology is not a very exact science, since the individual characteristics of each person should be taken into account. It is comfortable for someone to communicate from afar, and for someone “nose to nose”. It is difficult for those people who have a heightened sense of security when they need a certain distance from others. After all, then at concerts they experience panic, in public transport, irritation, disgust and anxiety, the same in the elevator, at work, and so on.

Let's say every invasion is akin to a slap in the face, and now imagine how many slaps a person experiences during the day? The emotional sphere in this case is bare, a person is not able to adequately respond to the slightest stimuli, because he had to endure and experience stress, and for a long time. But what about a child who is called capricious, but in fact was "tormented" by hugs and kisses, which he did not want?

Have you noticed that there are people who like to talk when their faces are too close to each other? It seems that you step back a little or lean back, and this person approaches again. And like good man, but I want to end the conversation with him quickly. And when something has to be endured, we are already talking about boundaries. After all, what prevents an obsessive personality from saying to move back a little, otherwise you are not so comfortable?

Violation examples

It often happens that a person seems to understand about this, but is ready to “betray” himself in order to get something. Therefore, women can endure the bullying of their men for years, thinking that by obedience and sacrifice they will win their love, which can change tyrants. Or because they are afraid to take responsibility and break this vicious circle. Loneliness scares what others will say...

Or, for example, an employee is ready to follow any instructions, up to going out on a day off, just to please the boss, who will appreciate it and definitely raise it. Do you know the fables that a real friend will never leave in trouble, so he will wake up at any time of the night and rush to help bury a corpse and the like?

A lot of reasons why a person ignores his own "I", but more common cause is not knowing oneself or that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and personal space.

Well, let's say I don't like sweets, what should I do now, stuff them in order to meet someone's expectations? No, you just have to learn to keep a balance between your "I" and the requirements of society.

What to do?

1. Personal rules

• First of all, write a list of rules by which you live. Then carefully review each item. Are you satisfied with everything? Clearly, if you live like this, then, most likely, it suits you, the question is a little different: what exactly causes a feeling of tension, irritation or confusion? Then think about how you can defend yourself by slightly changing these rules.
• The next time you are talking to someone and you notice something is wrong, take a break, for example, after going to the toilet, and think about what exactly affected you, that you reacted with anger, resentment, etc. When you understand, add one more limiter to the list of rules.
• Remember the situations when you felt discomfort, write them down and come up with your own stop word for each. Because, in the so-called “field conditions”, when you haven’t really learned how to protect yourself yet, you can get confused and not react properly. But when you have a reaction template prepared in advance, then at first it will be much easier to cope with the manipulations of others.

Let's say your family is trying to influence you to do something as they see fit. You can stock up on this phrase: “Thank you for taking care of me, but I know what I should do.”

Or on weekends, not only not to do work, but also not to talk about it with loved ones. Saturday-Sunday are family days. After 22:00 do not answer calls. It's time for rest. Then you will no longer be disturbed by trifles, knowing that the phone is turned off. Do not talk about politics, as it leads to conflicts that you are tired of. In general, is the meaning clear? Thanks to your own rules, you can protect yourself from unnecessary stress, which is sure to cause every intrusion into your space.

2. Feelings

• Learn to talk about your feelings. First, study what they are, because there are actually a lot of them. Then, feeling discomfort and pressure, talk about it. Then you will be yourself. When you don't, it's scary. Even if boundaries have always been broken, it is never too late to start building them.
• Even if a loved one asks you for something, and you, agreeing, feel tension, this is already a violation of the personal zone. Be attentive to your feelings. The article will help you learn how to protect yourself from manipulation.

3. Contact zones

• When in public places, try to study your zones, how far you are comfortable to let various people? And then you will be able to regulate your state, moving away or approaching intentionally. Yes, and next time it will be clearer where anxiety or irritation comes from when communicating, and how to deal with it.
• Do not forget that other people also have the right to separateness, and if you want your preferences or prohibitions to be taken into account, you should not react with resentment, encountering restrictions even very loved one. For example, there is a stereotype that men are strong and can cope with any problems for the sake of their beloved woman, even working without rest. But, like any person, the opportunity to relax and recover is vital. And everyone does it in their own way. Someone is fishing, someone is crocheting or just staring at the ceiling. Therefore, it is necessary to allow him to "take off his armor" and approach himself in a way that is comfortable for him.

4. The value of the inner world

To make it easier to defend yourself, imagine that a person covered in mud is trying to get into your favorite house, car or office, in general, the place you love, saying that he will come in just a couple of minutes. And you look at it and understand that then it will take a very long time to clean and wash everything after it. What will you do? Most likely, ask to leave, and come back clean. Right?

Wouldn't you be ashamed to say that dirt drips from it onto your clean floor or rug? Why then do you treat your soul differently? Why do you let it get dirty and leave marks that can't be washed off?

Almost any invasion can be anticipated by taking care of yourself in advance. As I have already said, it is foolish to leave the front door open at night and hope that no one dares to climb into someone else's territory.

Don't want to free time resolve work issues? Do not answer calls if you see that they are dialing from the office. Angry that your friends wake you up in the middle of the night all the time? Turn off the sound and the problem is solved. No one is obligated to take care of your comfort. This is only your responsibility. And if it is violated all the time, think about why you allow it, and how exactly.

Conclusion

And that’s all for today, dear readers! Be vigilant, especially in relation to physical sensations, the body will not deceive you, and will always let you know that it is uncomfortable, not only with tension, but also with nausea and pain. So be on the lookout for such signals.

Subscribe to updates and join our groups in the social. networks, in the near future there will be a lot of additional information about human self-development.

The material was prepared by Alina Zhuravina.

". All of them are devoted to the comfort zone of a person - the conditions that are familiar and comfortable for him, the established pace and lifestyle, as well as why it is important to be able to get out of this zone, and how to do it.

But at the same time, we cannot consider this topic only from one side, because the zone of personal comfort is vital for each of us. It serves as a space where we can always retire, where we will always feel safe. And today we will consider the personal comfort zone from this point of view, and also tell you how to save your personal space from the encroachment of other people and the impact of negative external factors.

Personal comfort zone and its specifics

We all live in a society and we have to constantly interact with people. It is for this reason that each of us needs a certain space where we can always be alone with ourselves, where we will feel calm and as free as possible, where we will not be disturbed, where we will be outside of other people's manipulations. This space is called the personal comfort zone, and it is prerequisite for a harmonious life and the natural functioning of the psyche of any person.

Have you ever felt uncomfortable in a crowd of people? Have you ever felt annoyed when someone came very close to you? Did you feel uncomfortable when someone took something from your things or, for example, occupied your workplace Or your favorite chair at home?

We think that most people are familiar with such situations. And if you noticed something similar in yourself, you should know that all this is completely natural, because the desire to keep a distance and protect your personal space is inherent in the very nature of man.

On an unconscious level, we strive to protect our Self from any intrusions, and what matters to us, for example, clothes, a phone, a computer or a car, is always perceived by us as a component of our individuality, which no one has the right to encroach on.

The readiness to share one's comfort zone with other people always depends on a person's lifestyle and his social status. We have some interesting data on this topic: the staff of the Research Center for Psychoanalysis at Moscow State University conducted research, as a result of which it turned out that the personal space of Muscovites is 5 times smaller than that of residents of provincial cities.

Psychologist Maya Lagutina says that residents of big cities have to pay for comfort peace of mind. Not everyone is able to calmly perceive systematic violations of their comfort zone, which is why many begin to psychologically distance themselves from the people around.

Certain features of the perception of personal space are also found in people with different living conditions. For example, the personal space of people living in communal apartments is so small that they have practically no understanding of what this space can be at all. It is very comfortable for such people to stand in the same queues or ride buses, and the crowd of people is almost a guarantee of security for them.

Perceive space differently different nations. For example, Europeans have an intimate zone of about 25 cm, Americans have 50 cm, and representatives of Eastern nations can comfortably communicate with strangers at such a distance, which is completely unacceptable for Europeans, including residents of Russia. These differences, by the way, often serve as a cause of misunderstanding and even conflict situations between people of different nationalities.

However, let's move away from statistics and talk in more detail about what the boundaries of personal space are, because this is very important for understanding the psychology of protecting the personal comfort zone. But first, take a few minutes to watch this short video, where an etiquette specialist talks about personal space.

The boundaries of personal space

The personal space of each person includes two components - physical and psychological. If we say, then the boundaries of the personal comfort zone will be determined by the degree of familiarity with those with whom we communicate, and the level of trust in him. Based on this, there are several zones of personal space:

• Intimate area. It is approximately 15 to 45 cm (less than an outstretched arm). Designed to communicate with the closest people: relatives, friends. When this zone is violated by an outsider, anxiety and psychological discomfort often occur. The pressure may jump and the pulse quickens.
• Personal zone. It is approximately from 50 cm to 1.5 m. Designed for communication with familiar people: colleagues, partners, classmates, friends. Allows communication not only on the topic of affairs and tasks, but also about personal life.
• social zone. It is approximately from 1.5 to 4 m. Designed for contacts with strangers, contributes to a sense of psychological security. It is not recommended to break it, because. the reaction of other people to this can be very different - from misunderstanding to fear.
• public area. Is more than 4m. Designed to communicate with numerous groups of people and audiences, suitable for conducting business meetings, meetings, seminars, lectures, trainings, etc.

If it comes to the psychological component of the personal comfort zone, then it is a variable, and it is influenced by the individual characteristics of each individual person. Psychological boundaries can be affected by the following indicators:

• . As you know, there are extroverts and introverts. The former are open and can easily share their personal space with others, even strangers. Due to the peculiarities of their character, they themselves often violate the comfort zone of those with whom they communicate. Introverts, on the other hand, are more closed, and they are more comfortable keeping their distance from people. They do not like it when their personal space is violated, and they themselves do not invade the space of others.
• Self-confidence level. Confident people almost never violate other people's privacy (do not get too close, do not check text messages and emails husbands and wives, observe tact in communication, etc.). Insecure, on the contrary, more often violate the comfort zone of others, and also allow intrusion into their own zone, being unable to defend themselves psychologically.
• Place of residence. People living in big cities and exposed to social stresses (pressure a large number people), differ in narrower boundaries of personal space. In other words, in order to feel comfortable, they need more "free" space around them. But people living in small settlements, where almost everyone knows each other, the boundaries of personal space are wider, and they are more comfortable when someone is too close to them.
• Family. There are families where the concept of personal space is almost completely absent. Being brought up in such conditions, people get used to frank communication, as a result of which the boundaries of their personal space are wider. But in some cases, people who grew up in such families can casually invade the space of others, completely ignoring them. There are families where it is customary to observe etiquette and a sense of tact. Children from such families have narrower boundaries of the personal comfort zone, they will never “without demand” violate the personal space of others.
• culture. Cultural and national characteristics also seriously affect the boundaries of personal space. For example, in the eastern and some Asian countries It is permissible to communicate, being almost close to the interlocutor. In European countries and, for example, in the USA, this will be considered the height of indecency, because. traditions and culture are completely different there.

It is important to note that the invasion of personal space is far from always an indicator that a psychological attack is being made on you. So, a person may be a representative of a different culture or simply have no idea what a personal comfort zone is. But there are also people who violate these boundaries intentionally, pursuing the goal of asserting themselves, suppressing, insulting, spoiling the mood, showing who is the "master" here, etc.

Violation of personal space can be expressed in different forms. Some come too close or start talking on inappropriate topics, others calmly take other people's things and litter someone else's workplace, others can grab their sleeves or put their hands on their shoulders, start waving their arms or hang menacingly over the table. Lots of options.

But it doesn’t matter if someone unknowingly violates your personal comfort zone or deliberately wants to piss you off or scare you, you must be able to protect yourself and your personal space. Although in most cases you will subconsciously strive to maintain boundaries, there are several effective techniques to help you do it more successfully.

How to prevent personal space being violated

The issue of defining and maintaining the boundaries of the personal comfort zone is of great importance, because. our psychological comfort and safety depend on it. The ability to provide such protection can not only give us peace of mind when we are riding with a stranger in an elevator or squeezed into a crowded subway car during rush hour, but also protect us from the "tricks" of pickpockets, "hypnotists", frotterists and other lovers of large crowds of people.

• If someone unknown tries to invade your personal or intimate area take a defensive posture. Take a couple of steps back, cross your arms over your chest, push one leg forward. Your opponent will not only see, but also non-verbally feel that you do not want to let him close to you.
• When someone tries to put pressure on you, invading your personal space, you can use a counterattack. Come closer, put your hands on your hips or waist, tilt your body forward a little, confidently look your opponent in the eyes and ask what he needs. Most likely, the person himself will hasten to retire.
• If someone at work tries to disturb your comfort zone by constantly putting something on your desk or sitting in your chair, create natural barriers. You can put folders around the edges of the table, put a few books and even hang a small poster on the wall. The more personalized your workplace is, the less willing other people will be to encroach on it.
• When you are in a crowd of people, never fuss or rush. Move away from the main flow, go a little slower or faster. If this is not possible, grab your things with both hands and carry them in front of you. This will allow you to get some extra space that no one can squeeze into.
• Do not forget what other people need, including even those closest to you. The word "no" automatically indicates that you have the right to make choices and decide what to accept and what not. And this in itself determines the boundaries of your personal space psychologically.
• Be mindful of your time. You should always have at least a few hours a day where you do your hobbies and things that interest you. Self-realization is in your own power, and time “for yourself” allows you to streamline your thoughts. Invading the personal space of a confident person with order in his head is very difficult.
• If it's about family relationships, then be sure to create a corner in the house for yourself - where there will be something that belongs to you personally, and where no one but you has access. The psychological climate in the family and even harmony in relationships depend on the presence in the house of one's own physical space for oneself and the household.
• When you're interacting with someone and you notice that the person is getting too close to you, tell them in plain text to keep their distance. Explain that you are uncomfortable when someone invades your personal comfort zone, and also point out that the optimal distance contributes to a fruitful dialogue.
• Do not discuss personal problems with strangers. Confidential conversations can be conducted only with those whom you trust. Otherwise, the opponent can easily violate your personal space by using personal information against you - something that can hurt you and unsettle you.
• Some people violate the boundaries of personal space intentionally - to provoke. If you encounter this behavior, try not to respond to provocations. Strive to maintain calm and self-control, increase the distance, remain indifferent (as long as possible, at least).
• When you want to isolate yourself from people in public places, use a simple trick: take a book or newspaper (smartphone or tablet) and immerse yourself in reading. This will create both a visual and psychological barrier between you and those around you. This trick, by the way, is very convenient to use in public transport.
• When communicating with strangers, prevent the possibility of violating the boundaries of personal space in advance. Never shorten the physical and psychological distance before you get to know the person well enough. Otherwise, you risk being, firstly, misunderstood (your actions may be misinterpreted), and secondly, become a victim of violations of boundaries by the opponent.

And a few more recommendations psychological nature. Violation of the personal comfort zone often occurs through pressure on or pity, familiar communication or unreasonable criticism. To protect yourself from this, you need to be able to apply methods of psychological protection, such as:

• do not take on unnecessary responsibility;
• do not make unnecessary promises;
• do not let yourself be made a scapegoat;
• not try to be good to everyone and everyone;
• use .

However, in life it often happens that it simply does not work to stay away from people, and strangers literally invade our personal space with their views, conversations and bodies. But even here we can influence the situation - soften these intrusions and make them less annoying and unpleasant for ourselves. There are also several ways to do this:

• To protect yourself from others, you can set clear boundaries. For example, in the subway or bus, you can stand with your back - the most vulnerable part of the body - against the wall of the car, put a bag, backpack or umbrella between you and your fellow travelers. And if someone begins to stare at you, do not hesitate to look straight into his eyes for a few seconds, and then continue to go about your business.
• If people begin to restrict your freedom of movement or peace of mind (in the same transport or somewhere in a cinema or mall), put on your headphones. It is desirable, however, that they be large, and not inconspicuous liners. In principle, you can not even turn on the player itself. The main thing is to create a visual obstacle to contact. If you want to abstract from what is happening as much as possible, feel free to turn on the music, but do not forget to remain attentive to what is happening around.
• When you notice that a person in a public place still continues to violate the boundaries of your personal space, you can use a book or newspaper in a more “radical” way - by placing an edge and resting between yourself and the violator of your boundaries. Similarly, it is easy to use a backpack, an umbrella, a bag. But make sure that no one tries to get into the pocket of a bag or backpack.
• Finally, if you have to make your way through a crowd of people, wrap your arms around the bottom of your bag or backpack in front of you and walk forward. This gesture will look quite natural, but at the same time, your elbows will be pointing forward, causing people to try to get out of your way. In extreme cases (if there is nothing at hand), you can cross your arms in front of you, which will act on others in much the same way.

These tips are enough to start mastering the techniques of maintaining the boundaries of personal space. Of course, there are many nuances here, especially those related to the protection of psychological boundaries, and in particular the preservation of personal space in the family and relationships, but we will consider these issues in one of the future articles.

In conclusion, we only add that you should not only be able to maintain your personal space, but also keep your distance yourself. Each person has his own personal comfort zone, and you can find out how big or small it is only by getting to know the person himself closer. Therefore, in communication, observe Golden Rule: approaching people, both physically and psychologically, is necessary step by step.

The closer you know someone, the warmer your relationship, the more you can close the distance. Remember that the zone of personal comfort is a zone of peace and security of the individual. Do not allow anyone to violate your boundaries, and do not violate others yourself. This will allow you to bring a little more harmony and understanding into life and communication.

Now take a break from reading and listen to what psychologist Olga Amelianenko says about personal space. We think that from this conversation you can also learn something interesting for yourself.

Most likely, each person has at least one acquaintance who, in order for you to hear him better, grabs his hands. Sometimes neighbors make tea in your mug. This can be annoying, as they affect personal space. Probably, each person tries to protect his personal space from others (of course, except for relatives).

Many people do not like the invasion of personal space due to the fact that personal space is an area controlled only by us and no one else. In this space, a person feels absolutely protected from any intrusions from the outside. Often, many perceive personal space even as part of themselves. It is because of this that many do not like violations of the boundaries of the personal zone.

Even under the concept of "personal space" many mean the distance to which a person is ready to let the interlocutor. The fairly well-known anthropologist Edward Hall was able to identify intersubjective zones. There are only four of them, here they are:

1. intimate zone - up to about 50 cm;
2. personal zone - up to about 1.5 m;
3. social zone - up to about 4 m;
4. public - a little more than 7 m.

Intimate zone, personal space

A person lets only the people closest to him, personifying his personal space, into the intimate zone. In the personal zone, those people who are not close, but whom we trust, are usually allowed. Many mark this zone as a zone for best friends, as well as acquaintances. In the next zone, social, a person talks to strangers. The very last zone, the public zone, is the zone between the audience and the speaker. Well, everything that is outside the last zone, people perceive as something that has nothing to do with them.

That is why many do not use public transport and also do not like queues. This, of course, is largely due to the fact that we feel physical discomfort, but it can also be due to the fact that the personal zone is violated. There are many people in public transport whom a person would probably not even let into his social zone.

Of course, these figures are not always correct, because a lot depends on where the person lives and whether he is an extrovert or an introvert. The peoples of the south have a little less personal space than the peoples of the north. What you have southern peoples is a simple act of friendliness, northern peoples is a direct violation of personal space. Much also depends on specific person, because an extrovert does not protect his personal quality as much as an introvert.

But the personal zone is not considered only as a space for communication, because these are also those things that we consider our own and no one else's. But a chair at work can also be a personal space (although it is not officially yours). Also, an apartment is included in the personal space, even if a person lives in it with his family.

Information personal space

personal space each person also is that information or those emotions that a person does not dare to share with others, sometimes even with loved ones (as, for example, some teenagers).

Any person is obliged to correctly evaluate the personal space of other people, because what may seem normal, ordinary to you, may seem too emotional to some, thereby causing a negative reaction. Here's an example for you: a person, out of habit, kisses him on the cheek when meeting with his acquaintances, but for some this may seem like a violation of personal space.

Often, newlyweds face the problem of violation of personal space, because they have everything in common: friends, dishes, territory, and wardrobes. Many people like it at first, but then it becomes seriously annoying. It is because of this that each person should have their own corner in the apartment, for example, their own office or just a desktop. It is also mandatory that every person, at least for half an hour, should be alone - relax, read a book. Of course, you also need to have mutual friends, but still, personal space should be your own.

You can not violate the personal zone of other people, as it gives a person a sense of security, and also allows you to avoid stress.

If you don't know what to talk about on a first date with a man, don't panic. There is nothing surprising in the fact that people, experiencing excitement at a meeting, are lost and feel uncomfortable because of the pauses that arise.

32 ideas of what to do on vacation at home, how to keep a child busy

To the question "What to do on vacation?" children will answer: "Rest!" But, unfortunately, for 8 out of 10 guys, rest is the Internet and social networks. And there are so many other interesting things to do!

A teenager and bad company - what to do for parents, 20 tips

In bad company, teenagers look for those who will respect them and consider them cool, cool. So explain the meaning of the word "cool". Tell them that in order to arouse admiration, you need not to smoke and swear, but to learn how to do something that not everyone can do and that will cause the effect of “wow!” at peers.

What is gossip - reasons, types and how not to be a gossip

Gossip is a discussion of a person behind his back not in a positive way, but in a negative way, the transfer of inaccurate or fictitious information about him, which discredits his good name and contains reproach, accusation, condemnation. Are you a gossip?

What is arrogance - these are complexes. Signs and causes of arrogance

What is arrogance? This desire to hide their complexes and low self-esteem wearing the mask of the winner. Such people with a sick EGO should be pitied and wish them a speedy "recovery"!

15 rules for choosing vitamins - which ones are better for women

Choose the right vitamins! Do not be fooled by colorful packaging, fragrant and bright capsules. After all, it's just marketing, dyes and flavors. And quality implies a minimum of "chemistry".

Symptoms of beriberi - signs of general and specific

Symptoms (signs) of beriberi are general and specific. By specific signs, you can determine which vitamin is lacking in the body.

17 tips to relieve stress and nervous tension without alcohol

It is unlikely that in our time of hustle and bustle and fast pace of life you can meet a person who would not need advice on how to relieve stress and nervous tension. The reason for this is the inability to properly relate to life's troubles and stressful situations.

Human psychology is such that for a comfortable existence, he needs personal space. This zone includes surrounding area, which is perceived by a person as a natural extension of the physical body.

Why violation of personal space for a person becomes an annoying factor

It is believed that the personal zone depends on the conditions in which a person was brought up. For example, Japan has a very high population density, so a resident of the Country rising sun much more calmly endures the violation of the surrounding space and does not show aggression.

At the same time, in people artificially placed in cramped circumstances, the constant presence next to each other leads to increased irritability.

People who grew up in free conditions, without restriction of the territory, are accustomed to the greater distance of a person's personal space, and require compliance with these rules. However, they themselves never come close to to a stranger too close.

If anyone is allowed to violate the space, then this is a person who is a close relative, friend or sexual partner, from whom it is not customary to expect an attack. By the way, the invasion of the personal zone produces not only psychological discomfort, but also significantly affects the physical condition.

A study by physicians aimed at studying the psychology of a person’s personal space showed that in this case there is a significant increase in the production of adrenaline, which makes the heart beat much stronger and speed up blood flow. These changes indicate the readiness of the human body for a fight or a possible flight. This trait is an atavism inherited from animals that are incredibly sensitive to the intrusion of outsiders into their own territory.

Therefore, it should be remembered that not every person is able to easily endure a violation of his comfort zone. Having barely met a person, you can lead to a misunderstanding in a relationship by simply grabbing him by the shoulders. What for one is the norm and a friendly gesture, for another can be a sign of rudeness, bad manners, the basis for which is the violation of personal space.

By the way, women in this respect are more loyal to each other.

Physical contact is more characteristic of them - hugs and kisses on the cheek are not considered a manifestation of aggression and are perceived with an adequate reaction.

As you get closer to a person, the distance at which a person agrees to let a friend in is reduced. But at first, it is necessary to maintain a certain distance so as not to put the nascent relationship at risk due to non-observance of personal space.

What distance is considered comfortable?

Depending on the relationship of 2 people, the area of ​​\u200b\u200bpersonal space can vary significantly:

• The personal zone of a person in a relationship provides for a zone with a distance of 15-45 cm. Sexual partners, children, and pets can approach a person at such a distance. This zone can be violated only by emotionally close people.
• The distance with insufficient confidence is approximately 46-1.22 meters. It is at this distance that people prefer to be apart from each other in a superficial acquaintance, for example, in a secular party.
• A social zone is necessary to feel comfortable among strangers. People try to maintain a distance of 1.22-3.6 meters when communicating with a new employee, at a public transport stop, etc.
• A public area is a distance of more than 3.6 meters that a person maintains when communicating with a significant group of people. For example, just such a space will be most comfortable for the lecturer.

Unfortunately, it is far from always possible to maintain the required distance. When attending concerts, riding in public transport, it is impossible to avoid unwanted contact.

Therefore, it is recommended to speak quietly, not to look into the eyes of other people, not to gesticulate during a conversation, not to look at strangers, focusing on faces or clothes. In this case, you can avoid the negative emotions associated with the invasion of personal space.