Great and not so great philosophers were able to maintain neutrality and strictness of judgment, thinking about the structure of the world, about God, about society and its needs. But they had a topic, a painfully complex topic, on which everything went awry. The theme is, of course, gender.

And everything would be fine if the reasoning about the natural female essence, devoid of intelligible argumentation, were simply spoken aloud and immediately forgotten. But no - some managed to write them down. What they recorded there - in our selection.

Of course, we do not judge the authors too harshly - they lived in a time when men tried not to even suspect about the social mechanisms of constructing gender differences. At the same time, it is highly desirable that people who are in their right mind do not repeat this nonsense now.

Friedrich Hegel. Philosophy of law

“Women may be educated, but for the higher sciences, like philosophy, and for some works of art that require the universal, they are not created. Women may have wit, taste, grace, but they are not perfect.

The difference between a man and a woman is the same as the difference between an animal and a plant: the animal is more in line with the character of the man, the plant is more with the character of the woman, for she is more of a calm unfoldment, beginning with a more indefinite unity of feeling.

The state is endangered when women are at the head of the government, because they do not act according to the requirements of the universal, but are guided by random inclinations and opinions.

Women receive their education in some unknown ways and, as it were, through an atmosphere of performance, more through life than through the acquisition of knowledge, while a man reaches his position only through the conquest of thought and many technical efforts.

Benedict Spinoza. political treatise

“Someone, perhaps, will ask whether women are under the power of men by nature or by virtue of a positive law? After all, if this is so only by virtue of the law, then for us there is, therefore, no reason to remove women from government. But if we turn to experience for guidance, we will see that this state of affairs is due to the weakness of women themselves.

For it is an unseen thing that men and women rule together, but everywhere on earth, wherever there are men and women, men rule, and women are in subjection, and thus both sexes live in harmony.

But, on the contrary, the Amazons, who, according to legend, once ruled, did not tolerate men in their country, but raised only girls; the boys they gave birth to were killed.

After all, if women were by nature equal to men both in the strength of the soul and in the strength of the mind, in which human power mainly lies, and therefore the right, then, of course, among such different nations there would be those where both sexes ruled on the equal basis, and others, where men would be controlled by women and would receive such an upbringing that they would lag behind them in mental qualities.

But since this is nowhere to be found, it can be fully asserted that women by nature do not have the same right as men: on the contrary, they are necessarily inferior to men and therefore it is impossible that both sexes rule on an equal footing, and still less that men rule women.

If, moreover, we pay attention to human passions, namely, that men mostly love women only due to the affect of lust, and their talents and prudence are valued only insofar as they are distinguished by beauty, and, in addition, that men do not tolerate that the women they love show favor to others in some way, etc., then we can easily see that the equal participation of men and women in government is fraught with great damage to the world.

Immanuel Kant. Observations on the sense of beauty and sublime

“A woman has a stronger natural inclination towards everything beautiful, elegant and elegant. Already in childhood, women dress up with great desire and find pleasure in jewelry. They are clean and very sensitive to everything that causes disgust.

They love a joke, and if only they good mood, they can be amused with trinkets. Very early they acquire a well-behaved appearance, they know how to behave and control themselves; and all this at an age when our well-bred male youth is still unbridled, clumsy and shy.

Women are very sympathetic, kind-hearted and compassionate, they prefer the beautiful to the useful, and what they have left from the cost of subsistence, they willingly set aside in order to spend more on external glamor and finery.

Reflection and long reflection are noble, but difficult, and not particularly suitable for persons in whom natural beauty should only testify to the beautiful nature.

Difficult teaching or too abstract reasoning (even if a woman could achieve perfection in this) nullifies the virtues inherent in the female sex.

Friedrich Nietzsche. Human, too human

“Women secretly always intrigue against the higher soul of their husbands; they want to deprive her of her future in favor of a fearless and calm existence in the present.

Women's natural inclination towards a calm, even, happily harmonious existence and intercourse, the oily and pacifying element in their actions on the sea of ​​life, involuntarily counteracts the more heroic inner impulse of the free mind. Without noticing it, the women act as if all the stones were removed from the path of the wandering mineralogist so that he would not hurt his legs, while he went out on the road to stumble upon them.

Arthur Schopenhauer. Parerga and Paralipomena

“The nobler and more perfect a thing, the later and slower it reaches its maturity. A man acquires the maturity of reason and spiritual strength hardly before the age of twenty-eight; woman - with the eighteenth year. But on the other hand, such is the mind: quite meagerly measured.

Therefore, women remain children all their lives, they always see only the nearest, cling to the present, accept the appearance of things as the essence of the matter and prefer trifles to the most important occupations.

Thanks to the mind, a person does not live, like an animal, only in the present, but surveys and discusses the past and the future, from which his caution, care and frequent concern stem. In the benefits and disadvantages resulting from this, a woman participates less than a man, due to her weaker mind.

Rather, she is distinguished by spiritual myopia: her intuitive (directly perceiving) mind sees sharply near, but has a narrow outlook, which does not include the distant.

Therefore, everything that is absent, the past, acts on women much weaker than on us, which is why they often meet in them and sometimes reach insanity inclination to wastefulness (waste).

Women are convinced in their souls that the purpose of men is to earn money, and to spend it, if possible, even during the life of the husband, or at least after his death.

Otto Weininger. Gender and character

“While a man, taken from an anatomical point of view, may be psychologically quite like a woman, a woman can never be psychologically like a man, no matter how courageous she may be. appearance and however unfeminine the impression it makes.

Now we can with certainty give a definitive answer to the question of the giftedness of the sexes: there are women with some traits of genius, but there is no female genius, never had it (even among the courageous women about whom history and the first part of our work speak), never will not. Whoever shows indecision in this matter and expands the concept of genius so much that women also partially fit it, will thereby completely destroy this concept.

The nature of a woman, whose essential feature is the lack of certainty of logical concepts, no less convincingly than her poorly developed consciousness proves that a woman does not have her own "I".

What do men and women not know about each other? This article, which, with a deeper reading, will help the reader understand why he / she was next to a partner and what to do with those feelings that are now emanating to a beloved (or not very beloved)

0. A man and a woman have a feeling of love for each other when their invisible ancestors bring them together to solve their unresolved issues.

Secret number zero. I gave her this number because I know from experience how frustrating it is for people to hear that their choice of a loved one is not theirs at all. Only when a relationship breaks are people ready to accept: “yes, all the ancestors slipped me such a walking torment. I just don't understand why!"

I will try to briefly explain why the ancestors need this trick with your choice.

At the very beginning of a relationship, a man and a woman are sweet and friendly with each other. A certain spiritual sympathy arises between them, I emphasize spiritual. Both are united by the desire to show their best sides.

For what? As they said in the old days, to show the goods in person. We all understand this, but after a while, when the package is opened, it turns out that the product is not so good and instead of sympathy, now there is rejection ...

Where does love go and why do claims arise? Claims are always based on unmet needs. A need is a need for something, a necessity. About Maslow's pyramid, I think you know. It starts with basic physical and ends with the need for self-realization.

The needs that lovers cannot satisfy for each other are peeped experiences from their parental families. As parents, for example, needed love, attention, respect, so their children (our lovers) need the same.

But the parents did not cope with the solution of these problems in their time, looking at their elders, who, perhaps, died in the war or, for example, suffered heavy losses themselves (collectivization, emigration).

Information about losses and unmet needs is recorded in DNA. Ancestors passed it on to us through blood and experience. Don't run away from her. It can only be realized, and satisfy those needs that the ancestors failed to satisfy.

This is what the beloved is given for. But one that has in its DNA records of unmet needs similar to yours. Therefore, after the honeymoon of a relationship, times of discontent begin.

Figuratively speaking, invisible ancestors stand behind the awakened lovers and, rubbing their hands, say: “Well, my dears! They cooed and wake up! Tapericha, it's time to deal with our problems!”

Will the lovers be wise enough to meet the needs of their ancestors and start their own happy life, depends on how they can solve the problem of the First Mystery:

1. A man and a woman are looking for attention to themselves in a relationship. Any dissatisfaction in a relationship arises from the fact that one of the parties receives less attention from the partner.

Relationships may seem to fail because of a difficult character, bad habits, obscene acts of one or both partners, but if partners give attention to each other, these reasons cannot lead to a break.

But when one partner stops giving attention to the other, then a battle begins in which there is a place for all negative feelings.

Men and women handle attention differently. Thought taken from Yuri Subordin:

Actually there are two attentions. The female form of attention, when a person fully listens to the interlocutor, i.e. without resistance, he perceives the image transmitted to him by the interlocutor, and the male form of attention is involvement in some process. In this case, the person is fully involved, and is not distracted by anything else.

A man longs for a woman to fully listen to him, open her mouth and agree with all his arguments. Accepted his information unconditionally. In other words, she showed him the feminine form of attention. This is how a man expects a woman to always be ready to have sex with him.

And in order for a woman to listen to him, a man uses his method of handling attention. He involves her (or those in whom he is interested) in the process of forming new impressions so that she (they) opens up and begins to listen.

A man in a relationship always sets the direction, i.e. offers to show interest in something new, where, in his opinion, new impressions can arise and thereby begin to be listened to, for example:

- Honey, let's go to the cinema!

- Don't you want to go to Antalya for a week?!

- Today the Pavlovs are invited to dinner, will you be ready by seven?

But it depends on the woman whether she will support the man's initiatives. After all, she can refuse to listen to his proposals:

- No, dear, these militants tire me. I want to stay at home.

- And what have I lost in this Turkey! There you always don’t know how to get away from their all-inclusive!

- Pavlovs? These boring intellectuals? Let them say thank you that we visit them at all!

A woman who does not support a man for a long time in his involvement becomes a source of discomfort for him and gradually he stops winning her attention.

A man who has stopped involving a woman in the sphere of his interests, who does not give her new impressions, causes disappointment in her.

A woman considers weak that man who could not convince her to listen to him, a man considers that woman who is not involved in his proposals a bitch.

However, if attention and involvement have existed in the relationship between a man and a woman for any length of time, a connection arises that lives on its own and is the Second Mystery.

2. There is a relationship channel between a man and a woman, a sensual connection.

When a relationship breaks, the connection remains and causes suffering for one side and pumping energy for the other. As long as the connection exists, the partners alternately change the direction of energy movement through this channel. Consequently, either one or the second feels either better or worse than the partner.

Any relationship is a kind of energy exchange process, and feelings, emotions, behavioral patterns are a consequence of it.

The fact that relationships can be represented as a pipe between a man and a woman, through which feelings and emotions are pumped from one partner to another, greatly simplifies the explanation of why, when a relationship is broken, one of the partners is bad, and the other, as they say, luck itself goes into the hands .

Communication, pipe, binding - call it what you want. It is not visible, but there is a feeling of discomfort. How you can't see the waves that come into your mobile phone, but the sound in the tube is a reality.

Many of you have often felt long, exhausting periods of poor health, when you wanted at least a little support from your partner in the form of an SMS, a call or a kind word.

But there is no sound, no movement.

And when do you hear rumors that your partner is lucky?! Resentment, revenge, the desire to tear and throw begin to boil inside!

What to do?

A) Realize that your connection is an independent unit of the Universe. Just like the pipe of your vacuum cleaner. The pipe is there and connected to you. A pipe connection will always look for a moment to let you know about itself. To do this, the pipe will cause negative feelings and an outflow of energy.

B) After you have realized it, use the pipe for its intended purpose for the last time. Take everything that belongs to you through it from your partner and give him everything that belongs to him. Thus, the need for a pipe will disappear. She will dissolve.

C) Thank your partner for being in your life. Give him a place in your heart.

C) Do you remember the Mystery Zero? In these relationships, did you satisfy the needs of the ancestors? If not, then the same one will take the place of this partner.

So that relationships do not come to a break and suffering, you need to know about the Third Secret:

3. A man must divorce his mother before he decides to marry a woman.

A man always has his first woman. This is his mother.

As a boy, he is attached to her for the first twelve years of his life. Further, the connection weakens, but does it always break?

If a mother is a self-sufficient, mature person, she will easily let her son go into the world.

The mother gives her son into the hands of the father. Now the man is responsible for the man. This is how masculinity passes from father to son.

But these days things are not always so smooth.

Often the mother herself remains a little Inner Girl, full of fears and mistrust. And then she cannot trust her son to anyone. Neither the father of the child, who may not have been around for a long time, nor even the girl who has laid eyes on the most precious thing in her life.

The mother does not give freedom to her son, she decides everything for him. If only she knew that she was turning him into a Loser with her own hands!

But she does not want to know this - she is a Mother and loves her little blood more than anyone!

Subconsciously, she wants to be needed and in demand, at least for him, because she feels like a complete Nothingness. And he raises his kind.

So what! she will say. “As long as I live, he will be under my protection and fully provided for.

One would like to ask: And when you are gone, will he also follow you to another world?

Moms, please, the country needs men! Release them - let them become Men! Love them truly, not out of fear for your tearful Inner Child.

Moms, in order for a man to remain in adulthood in the state of your ward, or even worse, a “psychological husband”, he will have to drink. Only there, in a binge, will he be able to fulfill your parental message: “Don't grow up!”

Men, don't get married until you divorce your mother. Anyway, mom, as “the first and legitimate” will beat you off from your wife.

After a man divorces his mother and, according to the Bible, a wife clings to him, what is hidden in the Fourth Mystery will appear:

4. A woman will always want to deprive a man of masculinity so that he does not get another.

Masculinity is the ability to penetrate into the unknown, into a world where nothing is yet known and where order must be created. The universe has placed this responsibility on men, forcing them to expand their masculinity by overcoming obstacles and unlocking the mysteries of nature.

A man must be involved in the new, master this new and bring prey, knowledge to the feet of his woman. Wife or mother. (Let's assume that our man is already divorced and brings trophies to his wife).

This is how his courage grows.

What about his woman? She is the Universe that wants to be studied by her man. She either reveals herself to him, or hides some of her secrets in order to arouse his interest in a new knowledge of himself.

And when he wants to start studying another universe, then first bewilderment arises in it, and then resentment: “How? You haven't known me yet! How can you study something else? I can't forgive you!"

Seeing his purpose - to learn new things, she offers him her "ideal solution":

STAY AT HOME AND HUNTING, LEARN FROM HERE!

So she deprives him of his masculinity, because now he cannot refuse her - there will be a scandal: “How? Do you want me to change? Then get lost for good!”

He agrees to stay close and slowly becomes her son, and she is his mother.

Them sexual relations come to naught, but for her the main thing has been achieved - there is someone nearby who will always study and serve her Universe.

What is the way out of this stalemate? He is in the Fifth Mystery:

5. A man grows in status only on the love of his woman. He has two of these women: mother and wife. If a man does not grow in status, then there is no love for him.

What do all people want? That's right, development, growth!

Growth in human Everyday life looks like a transition from one status to another.

For example: a schoolboy wants to become a student, a student wants to become a rich man, a rich man wants to leave his name in history (historical figure). The girl wants to become a wife, the wife wants to shine with pride and happiness for herself, her children and her husband.

To grow in status, you need resources, you need support. Who gives this support? The one who believes, the one who loves!

When a couple for a long time cannot move from their status to more high rank, for example, for a long time it is impossible to save up for the expansion of living space, which means that a man, as a getter and hunter, does not have enough strength. He needs support.

He can only take support from a woman who, by the power of her faith, will show him that he is strong and cool.

A man is not stronger than a woman. A man becomes stronger when a woman allows him to feel strong.

A woman is not weaker than a man. She just understands that her man needs to feel like a hero when he travels through the expanses of her as yet unexplored universe.

A woman is ready to give a man energy so that he gets involved with his attention to her person, to her interests. A woman gives energy, let me remind you, through her attention and feeling of love for a man.

On her love, he feels stronger and has the opportunity to grow in status in order to pass this status on to his woman (or mother).

As soon as a woman stops giving attention and love to a man, his growth in status stops. You can reproach a man a lot for the lack of growth and money, but the reason is in a woman who does not give him love.

What is love learn from the Sixth Secret:

6. Love is the desire to develop your partner. If a partner does not want your development, he does not love you.

Very often such statements are heard: “Why do you need these books, trainings, seminars? Stay at home, take care of the kids!”

What is the person saying this trying to say? He asks for attention.

If he receives a lot of Attention, but still continues to keep his partner in the “golden cage”, then he does not want growth and development for his loved one.

Why then are these people around?

Because it is beneficial for both of them to remain wounded children and play the roles of their unsatisfied ancestors:

One is the victim, the other is the executioner. One is nothingness, the other is superiority.

The one of the two who is in a position on top, in a position of superiority, is more injured, but hides this truth from himself. His strategy: in order not to feel your pain, you have to be cooler than others. Rising above the victims, I will not notice that I myself am as miserable as they are.

This strategy leads him to the decision not to allow the partner to develop, otherwise the partner will escape from his slavery.

He wakes up, sees that the path to freedom is open and runs away!

But growth cannot be stopped, and then slowly, slowly, through his role as an executioner, a tyrant, the partner begins on his own, within the created “golden cage”, to pull out his wounded Inner Children from his victim. The process is painful and it is concluded in the Seventh Mystery:

7. A man serves a woman with every action, even negative ones: drunkenness, idleness, beatings. A man is a mirror of a woman, which reflects everything that she does not want to know about herself.

Even in the most difficult relationships, in the so-called dysfunctional families, a man and a woman serve each other. They are a mirror of what they themselves do not want to recognize.

The two are always together as long as they have something to give to each other. And, perhaps, they give each other pain, humiliation, suffering. But they don't separate. And there is only one reason: the history of ancestors.

Two repeat the story of their ancestors, showing their love not for a partner, but for an ancestor: grandmother, great-grandfather, or mother's aborted child.

I wrote a lot about this on the pages of my Blog, but for now I just want to repeat the old idea in new words:

If you do not disagree with those who do not develop you and make you suffer, you, thanks to your tyrant, gradually realize and extract from yourself those wounded Inner Children who were created during the life of your ancestors.

It’s a pity, but it’s true ... Thank the tyrant, because his family has the same stories as yours. That's why you and the couple.

Two fight for love, but you can win only by knowing the Eighth Secret:

8. In order for a man to defeat a woman, he needs to win the battle in her eyes, for a woman to defeat a man, she needs to lose to him.

Taoists used to say: “A woman is wide, and a man is deep”.

This means that a woman feels good when she can open her soul wide, wide, and for this she needs to allow herself to trust the world, to accept it, not wanting change.

Such a state happens in the field when you lie on the grass and let in the sky, the sun, the air, the grass, the goosebumps and the sun. And all-all-all.

The female energy flows horizontally, it is like the Earth.

And male energy is vertical, and a man feels great when, towering like a strong tree, he penetrates deep into the ground with his roots.

A man feeds on female energy, as a tree feeds on the earth.

In a relationship, if a woman towers over a man, she feels a victory, but in the end she loses, because a tree under the ground means an earthquake.

At these moments, the woman is shaking like mountains during tremors and she feels deeply hidden anxiety. With each victory over the tree men, anxiety grows and fatigue grows from this. Victories are no longer encouraging, because no one wants to settle on this land for a long time.

There are always few inhabitants in the mountains and they all ended up there for one reason: once their ancestors fled from mortal danger to these mountain gorges so that no one would find them there. So their descendants became highlanders. I'm a highlander myself, so I can say that.

A woman who loses to a man is always a winner. Her energy is calm and flat. Many join its territory and life becomes more and more diverse.

Such a woman has many friends and helpers, because she does not shake with her energy those who decide to approach her expanses.

She is now ready for the new growth that is revealed in the Ninth Mystery:

9. A man dreams of turning his woman into a Queen, and a woman dreams of a ready-made King.

A woman is always looking for a Male Teacher who can help her to know herself. Her boundless Universe needs a person who will not pass by her most diverse phenomena and will be able to include all her female states: Girl, Mistress, Mistress and Queen.

Only the King is capable of this, and therefore she needs a strong man who has grown over his childhood fears and calmed the spirits of his ancestors.

And a man wants to be the creator of a woman, he is ready to create the Queen out of his woman and therefore listens so zealously to her words that she would like to learn somewhere, but not from him.

To turn a man into a King, a woman should give him royal attention and reverently acknowledge his services to her.

For example: “Beloved, everything that I have is only thanks to you. You give me everything that makes me happy! Thank you for having me! I want to give you even more love so that you can achieve your wonderful goals more easily and faster. You are very strong and courageous! You are the King, next to whom everything is good and free! Please let me feel like a Queen not only in your presence, but also in the company of other women! Let everyone see what I have with you!”

The speech may be long or it may be short, but it must be based on recognition. happy woman to his King. Let him feel higher and stronger, but is a strong Sovereign afraid to give his citizens freedom?

He is the King, and a woman who creates in a man the state of a realized King is always happy and lives in harmony and abundance.

Every man understands this, and in order to feel like a King, he must know the Tenth Secret:

10. A man must understand that his intonations affect the condition of a woman. After all, she loves with her ears. Therefore, a man should be able to love with his voice, taking care of his intonations.

Strong Man, King - one who can understand the feelings of a woman. Feelings are not words. They are like leaves in the wind. From strong wind tremble.

An ordinary man does not even assume that his words and intonations are the wind that can scare a woman. A woman can be so frightened that she hides and refuses attention to a man.

And without her Attention, he stops growing in status.

The king gives warmth. The King is a male Sun, and the Queen is a flower enjoying the Sun and the gentle breeze that breaks from his lips!

The petals of the flower exude fragrance and spread the song of love around the world: “The man of my dreams is a man like you!”

P.S. There is nothing in the world but love, and man and woman are its prophets...

Introduction

In human nature, as in human existence, there is nothing predetermined, predetermined - there is no "essence". "Existence precedes essence." The essence of a person is made up of his actions, it is the result of all the choices he made in life, his ability to implement his “project” - his own pre-established goals and means, to “transcendence” - the construction of goals and meanings. And the motivators of his actions are the will, the desire for freedom. These motives are stronger than all laws, moral rules and prejudices. They should also determine the family structure, relationships in love. Our objective essence presupposes the existence of another. And vice versa, it is the freedom of another that serves as a justification for our essence.

Simone de Beauvoir tried to find out for herself and explain to the reader what this “female destiny” is, what is behind the concept of “the natural purpose of sex”, how and why the position of a woman in this world differs from that of a man, is a woman, in principle, able to take place as a full-fledged personality, and if so, under what conditions, in what ways, what circumstances limit the freedom of a woman and how to overcome them.

Simone de Beauvoir's book The Second Sex is an attempt - and a successful attempt - to disengage from the Marxist approach to the "women's question". Its focus is not on the "women's masses" and their "collective struggle" for the common cause of the "proletariat". Her focus is on the female personality or "situation" of a woman in history, given by physiology and anatomy, psychology and social traditions. Simone de Beauvoir considers this "situation" using the concepts of free will, autonomy, self-fulfillment through the "project". She focuses her analysis mainly on the topic interpersonal relationships men and women - the relationship of the One and the Other, seen through the prism of "true being" - the being of a subject capable of transcendence, that is, of assuming the meanings and goals of his life. From this point of view, Simone de Beauvoir rereads the myths and legends about the "mystery of sex" , "the purpose of a woman", "a riddle female soul". It is obvious to her that such a riddle does not exist. In the heat of the controversy, she formulates her famous aphorism: "You are not born a woman, you become a woman."

She argued that the physiological differences between a man and a woman do not at all predetermine their existential difference - the difference in the quality of the subjects of history, when one is the master and the other is his slave. This division of labor is not predetermined, it is imposed by quite definite socio-historical conditions.

Simone de Beauvoir emphasizes that since it was male activity that formed the concept of human existence as a value that raised this activity above the dark forces of nature, conquered nature itself, and at the same time a woman, then a man in everyday consciousness appears as a creator, creator, subject, while a woman - only as an object of his power. Against this prejudice, the thesis “you are not born a woman, you become a woman” is directed. Simone de Beauvoir seeks to dispel any doubts that initially the same potencies, the same abilities for the manifestation of free will, for transcendence and self-development, are inherent in a woman as in a man. Their suppression breaks the female personality, does not allow a woman to take place as a person. The conflict between the original ability to be a subject and the imposed role of the object of someone else's power determines the specifics of "women's lot". But Simone de Beauvoir is convinced that this conflict is being gradually resolved. The desire for freedom prevails over the inertia, the immanence of female existence.

Simone de Beauvoir, having outlined the prospect of "authentic existence", was able to vividly describe the "inauthenticity" of ordinary women's everyday life - this everyday bondage that oppresses a woman today no less than in the past. Exposure, exposure of everyday forms of discrimination - one of the main virtues of the book "The Second Sex". Her other dignity is connected with the same concept of "authentic existence" and its ethics, which presupposes the acquisition of one's "I" on the path to freedom, that is, presupposes the existence of an independent female personality, its autonomy, the ability to "appropriate" own life. Translated into the slogan "self-realization" or "self-fulfillment", this concept became a new creed for feminism in the second half of the 20th century.

She argued that being a woman is not a vocation, but a state, that a woman, like any person, should strive for self-affirmation as a person - in creativity, work, self-disclosure. She is not a machine for the reproduction of the human race. Her motherhood can only be an act of free decision, not a duty.

The diversity, versatility, diversity of the social space, in which more than one subject operates and which keeps in suspense not one conflict, but many conflicts resolved in different ways. And one of them - the most ancient - the conflict between a man and a woman.

Chapter 1

It is enough to walk down the street with open eyes to recognize that humanity is divided into two categories of individuals whose clothes, face, body, smile, gait, interests, occupations are clearly different; maybe this difference is superficial, maybe it is destined to disappear. But one thing is indisputable - at the present moment it exists with amazing obviousness.

A man thinks of himself without a woman. She can’t imagine herself without a man.” She is only what a man will appoint her. Thus, she is called "sex", meaning by this that she appears to a man, first of all, as a being of a certain sex: for him she is a sex, and therefore, she is him absolutely. She defines herself and stands out in relation to the man, but not the man in relation to her; it is the non-essential next to the essential. He is the Subject, he is the Absolute, she is the Other.

In essence, the separation of the sexes is a biological given, and not a moment in human history. A couple is a fundamental unity, both halves of which are chained to one another, and no stratification of society on the basis of sex is possible. This is what determines a woman: she is the Other inside a single whole, both elements of which are necessary for each other.

The world has never belonged equally to both sexes. And even today, the position of women is still very disadvantageous, although it is changing. There are almost no countries where she legally has the same status as a man; often a man significantly infringes on her interests. But even when its rights are recognized in the abstract, established, habitual mores do not allow them to find a concrete embodiment in everyday life. From an economic point of view, men and women are practically two castes; Other things being equal, men have more vantage point and more high salary than women who have recently become their competitors. In industry, politics, etc. there are many more men, and it is to them that the most important posts. In addition to the specific power they have, they are also invested with prestige, which is traditionally supported by the entire system of raising children: behind the present, the past appears, and in the past, history was made exclusively by men.

A woman is not a frozen reality, but a becoming; and only in becoming should she be compared with a man, that is, her possibilities should be determined; great amount debates lose their meaning because of the desire to reduce a woman to what she was, or to what she is today, while it is a question of her abilities; there is no doubt that abilities manifest themselves with all evidence only when they are realized - but there is also no doubt that, considering a being whose essence is transcendence and going beyond the limits of one's "I", one should never draw a line.

The enslavement of woman by race, the limits of her individual possibilities, are facts of extreme importance; a woman's body is one of the main elements that determines the position that she occupies in the world. But the body alone is not enough to define a woman; it lives only in the reality that is perceived by its consciousness through actions and within the framework of society. Biology alone is not enough to answer the question that occupies us; why is a woman another?

Thus, it is impossible to consider a woman simply as an organism of a certain sex: among biological data, only those that acquire a specific value in her actions are significant; a woman's self-awareness is determined not only by her sexuality, it reflects a situation interconnected with economic structure society; and in it, in turn, finds expression of the level of technical development achieved by mankind.

The division was established precisely in those epochs when a woman was perceived as an Other, society especially stubbornly refused to accept her as a person. Today it becomes equal to the Others at the cost of losing its mystical halo. Real power has always been in the hands of men; from the very beginning of the era of patriarchy, they considered it useful to keep a woman in a state of dependence; their legislation was directed against her; and thus she was concretely constituted as the Other. This position served the economic interests of men, but it also satisfied their ontological and moral needs. When the subject tries to affirm himself, he still needs the Other that limits and denies him, for he can reach himself only through a reality that he himself is not.

Chapter 2

An adult girl becomes less romantic than she was in adolescence, and thinks more about marriage than about love. Her future husband no longer appears to her in a divine halo, she strives only for a stable position in the world, she wants to start leading her life as a woman. For most adult girls, whether they work or not, they live cooped up in parental home or enjoy some freedom, the most important task of life is to find a husband or at least a permanent lover.

The attitude of philosophers towards women in our time is deservedly rethought. And they seemed to have a reason for that. For example, the "philosopher of pessimism" Arthur Schopenhauer had an incredible hatred for the female sex and blamed her for all the troubles of mankind because of the way she treated love. Either women have become different along with society, or philosophers have been very unlucky - you decide. We publish the thoughts of Western philosophers about women and gender difference. In the title, by the way, the thought of Erasmus of Rotterdam, stated on behalf of Stupidity.

Erasmus of Rotterdam, Netherlands, 1469 - 1536

Erasmus was illegitimate son priest. The father loved his chosen one so much that, despite the protests of his parents, he stayed with her. The famous humanist was a very desirable child, but, alas, illegal.

At the age of 13, Erasmus was left without parents. Left an orphan, the boy grew up cowardly and timid. And when he realized that a secular career with such a background did not shine for him, he went to the monastery. During his life he traveled a lot: he left Holland early, lived in France, England and in different parts Italy.

Erasmus' most famous work is the philosophical satire Praise of Folly. It easily and humorously ridicules the world in terms of stupidity.

Erasmus of Rotterdam. Portrait by Holbein from the collection of Longford Castle

“Men are born for the affairs of government, and therefore should have received a few extra drops of intelligence necessary to maintain male dignity; on this occasion, a man turned to me for instruction - as, indeed, he always does - and I immediately gave him worthy advice: to marry a woman, a slow-witted and stupid brute, but funny and sweet, so that with her stupidity seasoned and sweetened the dreary importance of the male mind.<…>Even if a woman wants to be thought smart, no matter how hard she fights, she will turn out to be doubly stupid, like a bull, which, contrary to reason, is led to the lists, because every innate vice is only aggravated by attempts to hide it under the guise of virtue. The Greek proverb says correctly: a monkey always remains a monkey, even if he is clothed in purple; so a woman will forever be a woman, in other words, a fool, no matter what mask she puts on herself. And yet I do not consider women so stupid as to be offended by my words, for I myself am a woman and my name is Stupidity.

Arthur Schopenhauer, Germany, 1788 - 1860

The Philosopher of Pessimism became famous for his aphoristic style of writing. He got his nickname because he considered our world to be "the worst possible world." Naturally, he was a misanthrope, a mystic and gravitated towards romanticism. Appreciated the ideas of Buddhism. He criticized the contemporaries of Hegel and Fichte. Indeed, it is difficult to find two people so opposite, at least in style of writing, as Hegel and Schopenhauer. Yes, they have different attitudes towards women. The latter was an ardent misogynist.

Schopenhauer's metaphysical analysis of the will, his views on human motivation (it was he who first used this term) and desires, aphoristic writing style influenced many famous thinkers, including Friedrich Nietzsche, Richard Wagner, Ludwig Wittgenstein, Erwin Schrödinger, Albert Einstein, Sigmund Freud , Otto Rank, Carl Jung, Leo Tolstoy and Jorge Luis Borges.

Portrait of 29-year-old Arthur Schopenhauer by L. Ruhl

“The short, narrow-shouldered, wide-hipped sex could only be called beautiful by the mind of a man clouded by sexual urge: all his beauty lies in this urge.”

“With good reason, it could be called an unaesthetic, or inelegant, floor. Indeed, women have neither receptivity nor true inclination either for music, or for poetry, or for the educational arts; and if they indulge in them and rush about with them, then this is nothing more than simple monkeying for the purposes of coquetry and desire to please.

“The nobler and more perfect a thing, the later and slower it reaches its maturity. A man acquires the maturity of reason and spiritual strength hardly before the age of twenty-eight; woman - with the eighteenth year. But on the other hand, such is the mind: quite meagerly measured.

“Women are already inclined (adapted) to nurture and educate our first childhood because they themselves are childish, absurd and short-sighted, in a word, all their lives they are big children: a kind of intermediate step between a child and a man, which is actually a person” .

“We should by no means neglect the custom of the ancient Germans - in difficult circumstances, to call women to a meeting as well, because the way they perceive things is completely different from ours, especially in that it tends to notice the shortest path to the goal and, in general, everything nearby that we, looking at into the distance for the most part overlooked precisely because it lies under our noses.”

Despising Judaism, Schopenhauer nevertheless highly valued the legend of the Fall and called it a "brilliant point." The Old Testament lines turned out to be close to the philosopher's views on sexual love. According to Schopenhauer, the metaphysical basis of life shines through in this phenomenon. Love is an irresistible instinct, a powerful natural attraction to procreation. The lover has no equal in madness in the idealization of the beloved being, and yet all this is a “military trick” of the genius of the family, in whose hands the lover is a blind tool, a toy.

The attractiveness of one creature in the eyes of another is based on favorable data for the production of good offspring. When this goal is achieved by nature, the illusion is instantly dispelled. Such a view of love between the sexes naturally makes woman the main culprit of evil in the world, because through her there is a constant new and new affirmation of the will to live. Nature, in creating woman, has resorted to what is called in theatrical jargon "crackling effect".

Aristotle, Ancient Greece, 384−322 BC e.

Most people know Aristotle as Alexander's teacher, thanks to the famous movie. Meanwhile, the importance of this man for all Western philosophy is difficult to overestimate. He was the first to create a comprehensive system of philosophy. It covered all spheres of people's lives: sociology, politics, physics and logic. The conceptual apparatus of Aristotelian formal logic and poetics is still in use among scientists.

Aristotle

We can say that Aristotle's attitude towards women is purely pragmatic. It is derived from his political philosophy ("Politics"). We wrote about it earlier.

“It is the same with a man in relation to a woman: the first is by nature higher, the second is lower, and now the first rules, the second is in submission.”

“The ability to decide is not characteristic of a slave at all, it is characteristic of a woman, but devoid of effectiveness, the child is also characteristic, but is in an undeveloped state.”

“The power of a husband over his wife can be compared to the power politician, the power of the father over the children - with the power of the king. After all, a man by nature, excluding only these or those abnormal deviations, is more called to leadership than a woman.

“But a woman and a slave, but the nature of her bottom is different beings: after all, the creativity of nature is in no way likened to the pitiful work of blacksmiths who make a “Delphian knife”; on the contrary, in nature every object has its purpose. Thus, every tool will best serve its purpose if it is designed to perform one job, and not many. The barbarians have a woman and a slave; occupy the same position, and this is explained by the fact that they lack an element that is intended in their nature to rule. They have only one form of communication - the communication of a slave and a slave. That is why the poet says: "It is fitting for the Greeks to rule over the barbarians"; barbarian and slave are by nature identical concepts.

Immanuel Kant, Germany, 1724−1804

The man who influenced all subsequent philosophical thought was born, grew up and died in Königsberg (now Kaliningrad). Immanuel Kant was not from a wealthy family. His father was an artisan, so when he died, Kant had to drop out of university and take up home schooling to support the rest of the family.

Kant outlived all his friends, despite the fact that he was in poor health. All thanks to the rigid daily routine, which has become a byword even among the Germans. For example, every day Kant went for a walk at the same time and walked at a certain speed (and if he walked a certain section of the path faster, he stopped for a couple of minutes). Once he did not go for a walk, which greatly surprised the neighbors. It's all about what they brought him new labor Rousseau and Kant could not stop reading.

Immanuel Kant

He developed the hypothesis that solar system formed from a nebula; studied the role of ebbs and flows; outlined a plan for the genealogical classification of the animal world; tried to understand how it is possible to obtain pure, non-empirical knowledge. Was an anti-Semite. He was not married, because at first there was no money for it, and after that there was no desire, but he loved women's society very much and was considered a good conversationalist in the world. His research philosophical works "Critique of Pure Reason", "Critique of Practical Reason" and "Critique of Judgment" still have not lost their relevance.

“A woman is a little embarrassed by the fact that she does not have some high concepts, that she is shy and not intended for important matters; she is beautiful and captivating – that is enough.”

Kant on men and women

“A woman wants to rule, a man wants to obey (mainly before marriage). Hence the gallantry of the old chivalry. - A woman early acquires the confidence that she can please. A young man is always afraid that he might not like him, and therefore he is embarrassed (becomes shy) in women's society. - To restrain the intrusiveness of men with the respect that a woman inspires, and the right to demand respect for herself, even without any merit - a woman defends this pride and this right, proceeding from the mere legal right of her sex. - A woman is always a refusing side, a man is a harassing one; if she submits, then this is a sign of favor. - Nature wants a woman to be sought, and therefore a woman in her choice (according to her taste) should not be as picky as a man whom nature has created more rude and who pleases a woman even when he shows only physical strength and the ability to protect her ; after all, if she were disgusted with the beauty of the male figure and, falling in love, was picky, then she would be the harassing party, and he would be the one who refuses; and that would have humiliated her even in the eyes of a man. - In love, she should seem cold, and a man - ardent. Not to obey the call of love is not to the face of a man, but to easily succumb to this call is shameful for a woman. - The desire of a woman to extend her charms to all secular men is coquetry; the desire to appear in love with all women is courtship; both can be only affectation that has become a fashion, without any serious consequences.

Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel, Germany, 1770−1831

Hegel was born in Stuttgart, Germany, in the family of a financial official. At the university he studied theology, with friends he was in a circle that admired the French Revolution. In subsequent years, celebrated Bastille Day. For some time he worked as a home teacher, but thanks to the inheritance he escaped the fate of a tutor for life. In 1801, he began teaching and lectured at the Universities of Jena and Berlin. After he married, and in the tranquility of marriage, he wrote his most important work, The Science of Logic.

Georg Friedrich Wilhelm Hegel

Hegel, unlike Kant, did not abandon metaphysics. He believed that our universe is rational, logical and comprehensible with the help of the mind. The ideal state, in the understanding of Hegel, is the triumph of the moral idea, and the structure of the state is created by the spirit, therefore the divine in it grows into the real.

“Regarding the relationship between a man and a woman, it should be noted that the girl, surrendering herself, sacrifices her honor. But for a man, since he has another sphere of moral activity, this does not apply. The purpose of the girl consists essentially only in marriage; therefore, the requirement is that love should take the form of marriage and that the various moments that are in love should receive their truly rational relation to each other.

“The relationship between husband and wife is a direct cognition of one consciousness in the other and cognition of mutual recognition. Since this relationship is natural knowledge of each other, and not moral, it is only a representation and image of the spirit, and not the actual spirit itself. But the representation or image has its reality in something other than this relation; that is why this relation has its actuality not in itself, but in the child, in the "other," whose becoming it is and in which it itself disappears; and this succession of successive generations receives its constancy among the people. The reverence of husband and wife for each other, therefore, is mixed with a natural relationship and with feeling, and their very relationship does not include a return to themselves.

Today we will try to find out how a man differs from a woman. And we will talk about behavior, features of life, as well as about psychology. External data will not be taken into account - it is already clear that we are all different from each other. But health, the device of the psyche, as well as other aspects of life sometimes deserve attention. In general, the question of distinguishing people from each other is a very interesting thing. And when you have to look separately at a man, and then at a woman, then it is difficult to digress from the subject. It would seem that we are all human - we have the same needs, instincts and desires. But the perception of the world is different. And it depends, for the most part, on gender. So what is the difference between a man and a woman? Humor often talks about "women's logic", for example. Or a difference in behavior. We have to understand what causes such phenomena. Maybe it will teach you to understand each other better.

Chromosomes

It starts at the biological level. The body receives all the differences from each other at the moment of conception. It is when it becomes clear who is destined to be born - a boy or a girl - in a couple. How is a woman biologically different from a man?

It's not that hard to understand. First, gender. Women have a slightly different structure of the genital organs. This is noticeable to the naked eye. And thanks to this phenomenon, even before birth, in most cases it is possible to say exactly who will be born - a boy or a girl.

Secondly, the chromosome sets of men and women are different. As you know, there are many double chromosomes in the body. And just they have differences in boys and girls. Women have what are called X chromosomes. And the men in the 23rd pair are Y-chromosomes. What does it mean?

Biologically speaking, in a girl, the 23rd pair of chromosomes consists of XX, and in men, of XY. It is also worth noting that the egg always contains Xs, and the spermatozoa contain Xs and Ys. The sex of the child depends on the mixing of these chromosomes. But it is not worth going deep into this area. It is clear how a man differs from a woman at the biological level. But what's next?

Opposites

No wonder they say that opposites attract each other. If you think about it carefully, it really is. Why? The thing is that if you decide to find out how a man differs from a woman, you can notice that one is the complete opposite of the other. And in every sense.

The very perception of the world in men and women is fundamentally different from each other. For example, it is worth paying attention to the clarity of the information received. She keeps the ladies just fine. After all, it is not in vain that girls are considered excellent gossips - they can convey information "through 10 hands" and at the same time preserve the truth of the meaning. True, they love to cheat and get out.

But straightforwardness is a purely masculine trait. Guys, as a rule, are not used to storing details and unnecessary information in the brain. They express their thoughts directly, without hints. That is, "yes" is yes, "no" is no. And there are no deviations from these principles. So now we can say - a man and a woman are the complete opposite of each other. But that is what brings them together.

aspirations

As time goes by, the world changes. And the perception of it - too. But the patterns that have developed in the head of a woman and a man still remain approximately at the same level. That is, the aspirations and goals in life of both of them constantly remain the same. Yes, there are some deviations, but they are still not so significant and common in the modern world.

What is this about? Why are men different from women? For example, because of the goals in life and aspirations. Men are leaders, earners. For them, as a rule, a huge role is played by a career, own successes, self-realization. But women are the keepers of the hearth. Every girl, even on a subconscious and unconscious level, will strive to start a family, relationships, give birth to children. In other words, to be realized as a mother. Men, as already mentioned, give preference to career growth.

Yes, recently there has been a picture that completely turns perception modern world turn upside down. That is, men and women are increasingly changing places. Often in families now the breadwinner is the mother. And dad leaves his career and takes care of the house. Kind of a role reversal. It can still be considered a deviation. But in general, women and men still differ in their aspirations for the most part.

Brain

The brain of boys and girls deserves special attention. No matter how strange it may sound, but the difference in this area is simply phenomenal. And not only on a psychological or biological level. It can be said that in terms of "functionality" the brain of a girl and a boy is not the same.

What does it mean? How are women different from men? Evidence indicates that a guy can only focus on doing one task at a time. But the girl - at once on several. So to say, in women, the brain is more functional and versatile in this regard. Therefore, one should not be surprised that a girl can cook, and embroider, and wash, and talk on the phone, and do her own manicure at the same time, and a man in the same period is engaged in only one thing. The girl has more neuron fibers in her brain. That is why he is able to concentrate on several tasks at once.

Alcohol

Another very interesting fact is the perception of alcohol. It's no secret that women almost do not know how to drink. And it's not their fault. This is how it works human body. Have you thought about the difference between a man and a woman? Then take a closer look at one and the other - you will notice everything with the naked eye. You can see that a little alcohol is enough for women - and they lose control of themselves.

All this is explained at the biological level. During the adoption of alcoholic beverages, special antibodies and enzymes begin to be produced in the body. And it depends on them how quickly a person gets drunk. In men, they are better developed. Therefore, it is more difficult for them to get drunk.

Behavior

Our conversation continues. How is a man different from a woman? Psychology indicates that the difference between the first and second is huge. She is literally everywhere. And not just on a biological level.

For example, the behavior of women and men is really fundamentally different. Girls are energetic personalities, coquettes, those who are used to taking care of their appearance and health. It can be said that a certain lightness is associated with them. Cunning, quirky, can perform several tasks at once.

But men seem to be more restrained, courageous, strong. They focus on only one goal and go to it until they achieve the desired result. They don't spend that much time on looks. There are exceptions, but they are not so common.

So the behavior of men and women is really different. And hence often conflicts arise between them. Solving them is almost useless - psychology has been around for many years.

conversations

Proven - men and women communicate on different languages. More precisely, their speech development differs from each other. This does not mean at all that women are more developed in this area and communicate better, not at all. It's about something else.

What exactly? What is the difference between a man and a woman in terms of speech? The fact that girls are more talkative. Their speech is better developed, they are talkative and open. But men, as a rule, are silent. "Trashing" and "scratching your tongue" without any sense is not for them. A normal phenomenon that is very easy and simple to notice in modern life. Girls, on the other hand, are able to "talk incessantly" for any reason and even without them.

Observation

It is worth paying attention to such a feature as observation. It is different for boys and girls. Just like any other area of ​​human life. It has been proven that women themselves are more observant. They tend to pay attention to details, to focus on all the details of an object. Men, on the other hand, perceive information as a whole; as a rule, details are not as important to them as the true meaning of a thing.

Women under stress or some kind of emotional shake-up quickly lose their heads. And all their observation disappears instantly. Men under stress, on the contrary, begin to behave more attentively. Here is a little thing worth paying attention to. After all, that is why the upbringing of boys and girls should be different - extra stress makes a woman distracted, and a man - collected and organized. Of course, everything should be in moderation.

Love

Now it is time to pay attention to the two most big problems humanity - relationships and love. It is these directions for a guy and a girl that will differ dramatically. Sometimes even too much. What is the difference between a man's love and a woman's love?

Feelings are important for a girl. She needs to understand that she is the one and only for her lover. When choosing a partner, a woman is guided by feelings, her heart. She gives all of herself and devotes her life to a man. It can be said that to some extent it is completely attached to a person.

But men have a slightly different perception. They are said to "love with their eyes". For them, the appearance of a woman and her certain qualities play a huge role. Feelings are usually relegated to the background. If a girl in a relationship considers herself obligated, busy, then men often do not feel any such responsibility. And this becomes a huge problem that destroys even the most true love.

Relations

Relationships, as already mentioned, are also a problematic point in the study of men and women. Why? In principle, for the same reasons as in the case of love - the "device" for guys and girls is different. Due to this, even simple relationships are perceived differently.

A woman in a relationship is a busy person. She, as already mentioned, devotes herself to her beloved man. And accordingly, he tries with all his might to tie him to himself. It can be said to suppress freedom. Both his own and the man's. All this is done on a psychological level. After all, women are less protected, they try to find their support in the form of a man, and then not let her go.

But the guys, on the contrary, are freedom-loving. And they, for the most part, do not attach any particular importance to relationships. And even more so, there can be no question of any super-responsibility. Often a busy man considers himself completely free. But at the same time, his chosen one, in his opinion, is not. In other words, a woman in a relationship is always busy, and a man is free. That is what many people think. This results in problems - the girl claims the freedom of her beloved, but he does not want to "cut his wings" for himself. All this leads to the collapse of the relationship.