Why inferiority complexes appear and how to deal with them. An inferiority complex can even kill: how to get rid of it

What makes you feel like an inferior person? Childhood trauma or your own appearance? Do you experience constant insecurity and peacefully sit on the sidelines while others enjoy the triumph? To find the right solution, you need to identify the main symptoms of an inferiority complex. So let's get started.

Before identifying the signs, it is important to understand that self-doubt does not characterize this disorder. Yes, this is one of the components, but the complex includes several psychological aspects that work together. Eliminate one symptom, others will follow.

The peculiar perception of compliments

In most cases, notorious people are ambivalent about the words of praise. They are looking for a catch in everything, as a result of which confidence in the opponent is lost. Behavior is due to the fact that a person considers himself unworthy kind words, even in those moments when he really deserves them. Some believe that a malicious grin is hidden behind the compliment, others claim that the speaker is lying, and still others think that they are simply being flattered.

1. Compliments should not affect judgments about one's own achievements and self-esteem in general. If you suspect the interlocutor of insincerity, say politely "Thank you" and forget about it forever. Listen only to relatives and close people, it makes no sense for them to lie.
2. Assess your own capabilities realistically. If you're great at cooking or running errands for your boss, why not brag about it a little? No need to consider yourself unworthy, learn to accept compliments without considering the catch. Believe in yourself, you are not as hopeless as you think.
3. Conduct psychological training, it will help to cope with the wrong assessment own forces. Draw a landscape sheet into two columns, in the first designate negative traits, in the second write positive. Cut the sheet in half negative reviews burn and send the ashes out the window, and hang the positive ones on the refrigerator.

Oversensitivity

A person suffering from an inferiority complex is much more worried about insults and bad experience. As a rule, a defensive reaction manifests itself in a rude form, as a result of which such people seem to be angry and unpleasant interlocutors.

1. If you often worry about trifles, blaming yourself for all mortal sins, stop. Reveal strengths, get a notebook and write down your own achievements.
2. Do not react to the sharp remarks of colleagues, friends or relatives when you know for sure that they want to put you in a bad light in front of strangers. An educated person will never publicly point out the opponent's mistakes. Smile, take the situation for the stupidity of the interlocutor.
3. If the opponent is trying to throw the blame on you for his oversight, do not hesitate to point out the offender in bad taste. Defend yourself, speak calmly and slowly, do not mumble, clearly pronounce every word.

People who experience an inferiority complex are afraid to seem ridiculous. They lock themselves up and sit on the sidelines, being alone with themselves. Don't be like them, you don't have to be a hermit.

1. Take part in fun activities and don't be afraid to be ridiculed. It often happens that a person comes to a disco and sits alone with a bottle of mineral water, while others are having fun. Do you feel like drinking, dancing, socializing and having a blast? Dare! Suppress the voice inside that whispers that you look ridiculous and funny. Such behavior interferes with full-fledged communication with interesting people. Say a firm "No!" isolation and alienation!
2. Do not miss the opportunity to exchange a couple of phrases with colleagues, family, friends. Get in the habit of chatting with the saleswoman when you go to the grocery store. Lost your way? Stop and ask a passerby. Talk on the phone, become an active interlocutor. Spend more time in big companies, take a field trip with your friends.
3. If you belong to the category that is experiencing a panic fear of communicating with others, practice in front of a mirror, talk to a chair or a flower. Make up a written dialogue between you and someone else. In extreme cases, get a pet to communicate with a living being. Everything comes with experience, face fear.

The most common and compelling reason for the development of complexes. A person who is unsure of personal potential is definitely doomed to failure. Do you think that Fedka from work is doing an excellent job, while Anka has a more expensive car? Maybe, but that doesn't mean they're better than you. Each has its own strengths, one is strong in mathematics, the other is a philologist to the core.

1. Stop comparing yourself with everyone, you are first of all a person, a special person with your ups and downs. Comparing yourself with others, you will definitely begin to look for flaws in your own appearance, character, and even mental abilities. Do you need it?
2. Remember, if you want to try yourself in a new profession, but you refuse it, because your friends say that it will not work, do not believe them. Feel free to go to the interview, talk to the manager and get to work. Big competition? Well, let's break through! Rivalry fuels morale, no need to be afraid. Even a small victory will bring boundless pleasure. Soon you will want to experience this feeling again, which gives peace after personal achievements.
3. In order to be self-confident, you need to improve regularly. Have you ever wanted to learn English, but never got around to it? Now is the time to start! In addition to student courses, there are a number of interesting hobbies that have a beneficial effect on general state. Sign up for a gym and set a goal to pump up the press in six months. Take up tennis or start going to the pool, engage yourself in such directions. Sports achievements will give strength to conquer the heights of life.

Search for flaws in appearance, character, demeanor

Stop constantly analyzing your own actions, do not look for flaws in appearance and do not look back. Such behavior is the best characterizes a notorious person.

1. Relax, this does not mean that you need to talk nonsense indiscriminately, but you should not pick one word in every phrase. You are a living person, not a public person or a best-selling author, so stylistic mistakes in speech are quite natural. If you remain silent or speak strangely, then seem to people a bore and a boring interlocutor.
2. Instead of delving into the negative traits, shift the focus to the positive ones. Do you think you have full legs or belly? But you probably were told about a beautiful voice or a bewitching smile, build on this when an inferiority complex wakes up. Be persistent, fight with your own mind.
3. Nobody likes whiners, tune in a positive way. Don't discuss in public what you don't like about yourself. Smile more, even when your heart is sad.

Notorious people take criticism personally, which creates a feeling of inferiority. After the words spoken by the opponent, the person sits and eats himself from the inside.

1. When you are criticized undeservedly, move away from the situation, the cause of the complex is not in strangers or their actions, it is in your head. Criticism should not affect self-esteem, it's just another person's opinion. Do you think there is truth in the words? Listen to selective phrases, do not blindly believe everything that is said.
2. Talk to your parents or close relatives, ask them to describe you in a positive way. They will find a lot of advantages that you need to take into service.
3. An acquaintance asked for help with the move, you refused, and he accused you of selfishness? Do not project everything onto yourself, there were probably reasons for the refusal. Replay in your head situations when you helped him. Perhaps this happens so often that the person began to take help for granted.

1. Surround yourself with sincerity and kind people so that communication energizes you. Don't associate with hypocrites, don't let others take advantage of you, have self-respect.
2. Develop materially, enrich yourself spiritually, engage in exercise. Make it a habit to learn something new every day, for example, learn 10 foreign words per day.
3. Spend free time hobbies, start specializing in one occupation and improve the acquired skills.
4. Constantly watch your thoughts, they should not be negative. Think of yourself in a good way.
5. Do not be afraid of weaknesses, look at them from the other side. Eliminate one negative, in your opinion, quality gradually. Do not be led by emotions, many people doubt themselves, this is normal. Actively work on yourself, only you can change anything.
6. Find a person who inspires you. It can be a media personality or a famous athlete. Pay attention to people who have achieved a lot, find out their secret of success and forward to new achievements!
7. Find an incentive to live happily. Everyone has a similar state in certain things: one wants a new car, another serve delicious food, others strive to become rich. What motivates you to take action?
8. Travel more. It is not necessary to buy expensive tickets, visit Beautiful places hometown or fly abroad for the weekend. Go hiking with tents, visit friends who live within your country.
9. Start keeping a diary, it does not require much time, just 20 minutes a day is enough. Write down personal achievements, positive events, joke more. It is easier to express thoughts on a piece of paper, use this.
10. Read inspirational literature, watch interviews of successful people.

Do you feel like an inferior person? Communicate more with positive people, do not isolate yourself from others, allow yourself to live happily. Respond appropriately to compliments, focus only on constructive criticism. Stop looking for flaws in appearance, demeanor and character, relax. Believe in yourself!

Video: how to get rid of complexes

Each person has certain complexes. Inferiority complex is a negative self-image, often accompanied by low self-esteem and self-doubt. In 1912, psychologist Alfred Adler published The Neurotic Character. The research presented in this book formed the basis of a new direction in psychology - the study of the inferiority complex. In psychology, the feeling of inferiority is defined as negative experiences (shame, anxiety, worry, etc.) that arise in situations where a person feels inferior to others in some way.

An inferiority complex arises when comparing oneself with some standards, parameters (in appearance, behavior, abilities, etc.) and one's inconsistency with these parameters. Think about why, in fact, we have to adjust ourselves to some standards, because each of us is unique, and this is wonderful. We do not compare chamomile and cornflower, each flower is beautiful in its own way. Life is beautiful in its diversity. Learn to appreciate and enjoy your uniqueness!

A complex person is characterized by constant dissatisfaction with himself, self-criticism, belittling himself and his merits. He feels less likeable, less capable, less worthy (the list goes on and on) than others.

We all love to be supported and approved. But when the need for approval becomes too strong, when a person is oriented primarily to what others will say, and not to his own opinion, he loses his footing. His state of mind, his mood becomes directly dependent on the people around him. People feel this very well and begin to manipulate this person. Learn to focus primarily on your feelings and opinions.

If you are suffering from feelings of inferiority, the suggestions below will help you combat this negative feeling. An inferiority complex usually develops in childhood when our parents or teachers compare us to other people, pointing out our shortcomings (with the best of intentions). For example: “Look at Sasha, he always brings home fours and fives. And you?" The good news is that by changing your attitude, your thoughts, you can gradually overcome your inferiority complex.

How to Get Rid of an Inferiority Complex - 12 Steps

Primarily, determine the cause of your complex. Recall your childhood, your negative childhood or teenage memories. Maybe your classmates teased you? Was your first teacher constantly scolding? Was your mother often unhappy? etc. Select the 2-3 most traumatic situations and write down the following questions for each situation:

• What thoughts and emotions did you have at the time of the negative incident?
• What is your internal dialogue, thoughts, emotions after the incident?
• How strong were those emotions and thoughts?
• How long did you worry about what happened?

Now look at all these accusations and unflattering words addressed to you from the perspective of an adult. You were a child, you didn’t have much knowledge and experience, it’s natural that you made mistakes, couldn’t cope with something ... You still consider yourself not very smart just because in the 3rd grade you didn’t know how to solve problems well and the teacher called you stupid? A good teacher wouldn't say that. As a child, you accepted the words of adults as truth, without doubting that they were right. But in many cases they were WRONG!

It's time to re-evaluate all of your negative beliefs that you've been carrying around since childhood. Write down all the negative beliefs in the left column, and then next to each write a new positive belief.

For example:

Cut off the left side and burn it, and hang the new beliefs in a prominent place and reread them every day until they become natural to you.

Change your negative self-talk to a more positive one.

Track your thoughts. When negative thoughts appear, such as “I am the worst dressed at this party”, “No one talks to me, they think I'm weird”, “I'm a coward, I'm afraid to speak in front of people”, immediately replace them with positive or neutral ones. Develop the habit of thinking about yourself in a positive way. It is difficult, it takes time and perseverance on your part. But without changing your thoughts, you will not be able to get rid of the inferiority complex!

Look into yourself. Analyze and write down what your strengths and weaknesses are. It is very important. Knowing yourself will help you deal with criticism better. Ask your loved ones to help you identify your strengths and weaknesses. By the way, there should be no less advantages than disadvantages.

Another important step in the treatment of an inferiority complex: acknowledge your weaknesses. Do not ignore them, but do not complex about this either. We all have flaws, we are all human (complex people tend to think that their list of flaws is much longer than others, but this is not so). When you know your shortcomings, you can do something about it. Take an active position. Remember, everything can be changed. If you can't dance, sign up for a dance studio. If you are overweight, start going to the gym.

Focus on your strengths instead of your weaknesses. Every time an inferiority complex wakes up in you, you begin to feel inferior to others in some way, remember your strengths. For example: “Yes, I still don’t know how to dance as beautifully as Valya, but I sing beautifully, but Valya doesn’t.” Be persistent. If thoughts about your own inferiority arise dozens of times a day, then you need to consciously shift your attention from your shortcomings to your virtues just as many times. Gradually, this will become a habit, and you will happily notice that yours (an article with valuable recommendations).

Don't take criticism personally. This is just another person's subjective opinion. If there is some truth in the criticism, take note of it, but take it as a criticism of your actions, not your personality. Remember that the cause of your inferiority complex is not events and other people, but your reaction to them. How you feel and think about yourself after a negative situation will determine whether you feel inferior or not.

For example, a close relative called you a selfish person who thinks only of himself, because you refused to help him in something. Instead of judging yourself and feeling guilty, step back a bit from the situation. Think of all the times you helped this relative. Maybe he is used to the fact that you are always ready to help, and already takes your help for granted? Perhaps you had a good reason to refuse. Etc. When you begin to objectively assess the situation, you are more likely to avoid feelings of inferiority and self-criticism.

Surround yourself with upbeat, optimistic people. Communicating with them will support and inspire you to make positive changes in yourself and your life.

People with an inferiority complex often avoid communication. Even if they have a circle of acquaintances, they are reserved and do not open up to people. Tip - you need to face your fear and practice communication as often as possible. You will soon feel that people are not laughing at you, criticizing you at every turn, and that they are well aware of your sincerity.

Constantly develop physically, spiritually, mentally. Always learn something new. You can do it yourself or go to some courses, interest clubs. When you successfully master some new skills and abilities, your self-esteem and self-esteem grow.

Choose a role model for yourself. It can be a real person from your environment or some famous person, or even the hero of a book or movie. Take credit for his strengths. Play the role of this person, even if at first it seems to you that it is false and unnatural. Gradually, this feeling of artificiality will pass, and its virtues will indeed become yours.

Read positive, inspiring books. I recommend books by Louise Hay, Joseph Murphy, Vladimir Sinelnikov, Alexander Sviyash, Anatoly Nekrasov, Robin Sharma, Brian Tracy, Anthony Robbins, and others.

Be sure to start personal diary , in which you will record the events of the past day, your successes, your thoughts. Set aside at least 10-15 minutes each evening for journaling.

If you can not overcome the inferiority complex on your own, look for professional help. Make an appointment with a psychologist, perhaps he will prescribe you some medications(eg, low dose antidepressants). Feel free to do this, in the West, many people turn to psychologists and psychotherapists for help, this is considered completely normal.

An inferiority complex is not a life sentence. Make a firm decision to change your negative mindset into a more positive one. With sincere desire and perseverance, you can get out of the pit of loneliness, despair and depression. Nobody says it will be easy. This will require considerable effort, time and courage from you. Do something every day to change yourself and your life for the better. Sometimes you will want to quit everything, do not give in to such thoughts. Never give up! I would be glad if you share your ways of dealing with an inferiority complex in the comments.

An inferiority complex can be due to various reasons - the attitude of parents, criticism from the side of people around them, frequent "failures". To deal with them, you need to follow the recommendations.

Almost every person knows what self-doubt is, the feeling of worthlessness and uselessness. Often these feelings arise in difficult situations that cannot be dealt with. In other words, an "inferiority complex" appears.

What is it, what are its distinctive features, features and how to get rid of it? Each reader will be able to find out the answers to these questions from the article.

What it is

An inferiority complex is the experience of one's uselessness for the people around and inferiority. It is he who is the main cause of all emerging nerves. It seems to a person that he is a defective thing, which, in case of uselessness, can be thrown into the trash.

If you do not get rid of this syndrome in time, then it can cause:

• destruction of family life;
• lead to personal misfortune;
• undermine relationships with friends, relatives and loved ones;
• provoke problems at work and in relationships with the second half.

Inferiority complex

An inferiority complex is accompanied by a number of symptoms, which include:

• demonstration of certain signals - with their use, a person suffering from low self-esteem wants to attract the attention of people who surround him;
• another distinguishing feature is the lack of communication, contacts;
• fear of committing an offense or making a mistake;
• constant self-criticism, dissatisfaction with one's own affairs;
• belittling the merits, achieved heights;
• being in constant tension in adolescents.

Attention! Such a complex in many cases causes defects in oral speech.

The lack of faith in oneself is the reason for the impossibility of realizing one's own inclinations. People who are seriously suffering from this complex, when communicating with others, use a “mask” that protects them from feeling their own uselessness.

The cause of the syndrome are doubts about their perfection. An inferiority complex is based on one or more flaws in a person. Often they are imaginary - fictional on their own.

The reasons for the development of the above complex may be different:

• unhappy childhood life;
• negative suggestions from other people. Most may say “you will not be able to achieve anything”, “you are a loser”, etc.;
• frequent criticism expressed by people who matter in life (older brother or sister, parents or idols);
• lack of luck;
• negative self-esteem.

Surprisingly, the lack of self-confidence for some people becomes an incentive for their own self-improvement. They find a way to get rid of inferiority and overcome difficulties.

In men

The reason for the development of an inferiority complex in men are often physiological deficiencies. Defective males try to replace them by spending hours on grueling workouts.

Other reasons for the loss of self-confidence in men include:

• defective genitals;
• critical statements from a partner;
• intimacy failures.

All this leads to the fact that a person closes in on himself, stops all communication with female representatives, believing that he cannot lead a sexual life.

Men are especially important mother's love. It is she who has the greatest impact on self-esteem and personality of a person.

A man who did not receive support from his mother in childhood and adolescence, most likely, will not be able to realize himself in the future.

Psychologists have noted a trend - the development of an inferiority complex in men increases many times during a decline in the economy and unemployment.

Financial well-being is a reference point indicating the solvency and success of a person. If the need for decent wages not satisfied a long period time, an inferiority complex arises.

Among women

An inferiority complex in women develops due to various factors:

1. Appearance flaws. Often they are absent, and girls simply find fault with their appearance. However, the fact remains - most of notorious persons suffer because of their figure, face or hair condition.
2. Sexual dissatisfaction. A girl always wants to remain desirable, if the partner does not show due attention to her or constantly criticizes her, then she becomes closed, experiences begin on this occasion, often leading to tantrums and depression.
3. Family problems. It is no secret that most girls want to have a strong and friendly family, it is not so easy to create it alone. Due to family troubles, many women lose faith in themselves, in their abilities.
4. Lack of career growth. Some of the female representatives do not work, but act as housewives. This does not suit many, they believe that they could not achieve independence in life, since they have no career behind them.
5. Treason. The obsessive thought that the partner is cheating is one of the main reasons that cause complexes.

Alfred Adler believed that an inferiority complex often develops in girls. This is due to several factors:

• emotionality;
• isolation in oneself;
• rapid mood swings;
• shyness.

The child has

A similar syndrome often begins to develop in children. For this, a "push" is needed, which will give rise to the development of the complex. They may become:

1. The presence of physical defects. An inferiority complex often develops in people with disabilities.
2. Increased care and guardianship from parents. This does not allow the child to learn to make decisions on his own, which is the cause of dissatisfaction with himself in the future.
3. Instant disappointment in one's own abilities.

To overcome their isolation and feelings of insignificance, psychologists recommend:

1. Get rid of the created ideals, do not equal the people around you. Remember every small victory is a personal achievement.
2. Don't blame yourself if something didn't work out. No wonder they say that they learn from mistakes, thanks to them a person becomes stronger.
3. Forget about insults and insults.
4. Set yourself some goals, try to achieve them, develop.

Diagnosis and treatment

Diagnosis of an inferiority complex includes an appeal to a psychotherapist. An individual conversation is held with the client, after which the level of self-esteem of a person and the degree of his complexes are determined. For diagnostics, a specially developed list of questions is used, consisting of thirty provisions.

The main method of treatment is that it is necessary to start life with clean slate. Psychologists recommend getting rid of all past grievances and failures, deciding what do you want to achieve in this life?

How to deal with complexity:

1. Try to convince yourself that you can achieve what you want. To do this, set yourself not only global, but also some small tasks. For example, for girls who have a complex about their figure - run 100 meters a day. This is not difficult, but the result will be noticeable immediately.
2. Connect with other people, support them and never be jealous e. Envy is a feeling that provokes the appearance of an inferiority complex. Dealing with it is not easy, but it is within the power of each person.

What to do? In addition to the general advice listed above, it is recommended to engage in sports activities, find an exciting activity for yourself, build a daily schedule and eat only healthy food. All this together will certainly give an excellent result.

Thus, everyone can get rid of the inferiority complex, you just have to want to. It is not so easy to cope on your own, but together with the help of a psychologist or psychotherapist it is much easier.

Video: Expert opinion

A familiar combination of words, isn't it? “He (she) has an inferiority complex!” - talking about a familiar person. “Since childhood I would have been“ notorious ... ”- they complain to a psychotherapist

What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear these words? A downcast look, an unsteady gait, or silence in a general conversation? Or maybe an image of a person appears before your eyes, letting everyone skip the line ... to the cashier ... to the Wedding Palace ... to a higher position? Modestly standing on the sidelines while others "share the pie"? And what does it mean that the complex was from childhood and where does it go for other grown-up children?

Most often, an inferiority complex means lack of confidence in one's abilities, a feeling of one's worthlessness, worries about the inability to take a higher place in the hierarchy of relationships. You don't have to be sick, handicapped, or have real limitations.

Psychotherapist's clients say.

“I was constantly beaten in the yard. And not that I was any weak, no!. Ordinary boy. I just had some kind of complex (read - conviction), I thought that I could not cope with them ... that they were stronger, ”recalls a thirty-year-old man who is dissatisfied with his career.

“I always felt that I was not as beautiful as others, I dressed worse, my fellow students did not like me. Therefore, I married the first man who showed interest in me. I was always afraid that I would be alone.” And these are the words of an attractive forty-eight-year-old woman on the verge of a divorce from her husband ...

“I am nothing of myself even now. Others have money, cars, interesting job. I feel as if I don't exist…” says a recent graduate of a prestigious university.

So how is the complex created?

Let's think about what these people have in common? What exactly do they do to preserve and nurture their complex? In all three cases, they compare themselves with other people (usually those who are more successful, stronger, richer, etc.), and then experience their “inferiority”, i.e. unlike them, falling into despondency, apathy and hopelessness. The chronic habit of comparing yourself to others not in your favor or inventing an “ideal” that you can’t reach is the surest way to a super unpleasant pastime.

There is another possibility for acquiring the famous complex - the habit of depreciating what is. And the family is not like that, and the friends are not the same, and the boss could be better. And the conclusion suggests itself - "I'm somehow defective ..."

Often, parents take an active part in the formation of such a pathological habit. They know and can do so much... And if they constantly remind the child what he (due to age, of course...) does not know and cannot do, and even compare him with more successful peers, the laying of the first stone in the foundation of the inferiority complex has already taken place. Excessive guardianship and parental rejection (unwanted children) can also lead to this.

Parents have great authority for the child, their stereotypes of attitude towards him are assimilated for a long time. And now the teenager begins to mentally compare himself with others himself. Result? Dissatisfaction with life, impotence, Bad mood self-reproach, doubt...

Is an inferiority complex really that bad?

So the inferiority complex is definitely bad? Not certainly in that way! The American psychoanalyst Alfred Adler believed that inferiority is a normal, natural feeling for a person. He even formulated the aphorism “To be a complete person, one must have an inferiority complex.” How is this to be understood?

According to Adler, the main source of the inferiority complex is childhood. This is submission to parents, dependence on them, evaluation of the child's actions. But the relationship between the children themselves is completely non-idyllic. Many dramatic stories have their source in children's nicknames - “Fat”, “Rat”, “Homeless” ... And until the child has matured, he feels inferior. The feeling of inferiority is aggravated with the entry into each new age stage, with the defeat in the struggle for leadership or prestige. Especially often teenagers suffer from this, entering into life, where it is necessary to show intelligence, strength, awareness, independence ...

However, the same inferiority complex can serve as an impulse to action. Let us recall the textbook example of the orator Demosthenes. After all, he managed to overcome both the defect and the complex! People whose inferiority complex is an incentive to overcome difficulties and improve themselves achieve remarkable results. The path of many well-known psychotherapists and psychologists to their outstanding discoveries often began with overcoming an inferiority complex in the field of human relations.

How to get rid of an inferiority complex?

Of course, what happened to a person in childhood leaves an imprint on his whole life. But the situation is not so fatal. Each person has the opportunity to freely create their own style of life and use all available complexes for improvement. And to get rid of the complex you already have,

stop doing what you usually do

constantly create "ideal" and constantly relate yourself to them

compare yourself to more successful, wealthy or smart people and suffer at the same time

engage in the devaluation of what you have and then fall into depression

mentally speak about yourself in the strict voice of your parents, you may have your own, more favorable, opinion about yourself

An inferiority complex is formed when a person is convinced that he does not meet generally accepted standards and norms in any way. A person feels his own uselessness and inadequacy, comparing himself with low-quality goods soon to be thrown into the landfill.

The feeling of inferiority arises in some in a difficult life period, when the problem cannot be dealt with for a long time. Others feel inferior all the time. It is not a rational belief in the superiority of others that does not allow you to live fully, but the question “how to get rid of complexes?” does not go out of my head. Complex person. What is the essence of the inferiority complex and how to get rid of it?

An inferiority complex is the first cause of neuroses. Get rid of the ballast and live fully!

Causes and signs of an inferiority complex

The causes of the inferiority complex lie in childhood. The sensation arises if a person has physiology deficiencies since childhood. A notorious member of society is raised by the parents themselves, which does not allow the child to learn to act and live independently. But the lack of parental attention is fraught with the development of the complex.

One negative situation can sow the seed of an inferiority complex, and a dysfunctional family life, lack of luck, constant criticism and negative suggestions from others will develop this feeling to the maximum.

A notorious person behaves defiantly, draws attention to his own person and does not adapt well in society. A person with an inferiority complex is afraid of making a mistake and often because of speech problems. It is worth noting that it is more difficult to notice signs of an inferiority complex in men than in women. This is due to the presence in their lives of the attributes of success and respectability - expensive cars, highly paid positions, expensive suits.

What is an inferiority complex, really?

Complexity acts like a splinter. So that the unpleasant sensations from the “splinter” do not interfere with life, a person puts on a social mask. The superficial image is shown to others, but in fact the person's personality is diametrically opposed.

An inferiority complex is generated by fears and. A person worries that his superficial image will not withstand the onslaught of the world around him and he will face his own insecurities face to face. False social masks protect people from their own worthlessness and uselessness. In advanced cases of an inferiority complex, a person shows all the signs of megalomania, and sometimes -.

In fact, a person with an inferiority complex wholeheartedly dreams that there are those people who will accept him along with all the features and "cockroaches". He himself wants to accept himself with all the shortcomings in order to stop self-flagellation. A notorious person expects praise and approval from others.

Dissolved in a sense of his own inferiority, a person will be what is called a loser. He relishes the unfulfillment and buries himself in it. Notorious regardless of status and financial situation.

• Recognize the cause of feelings of inferiority.

Dig into the memories and determine at what point the development of the complex began. Find in your memory the situation that traumatized you and analyze it. Answer: what emotions did you experience then? What did you think about after an unpleasant situation? How much did the situation affect your feelings and thoughts? How long did you worry about the incident? The complex has been developing since childhood. Now that you're an adult, it's time to reevaluate. Write the negative beliefs you go through life with in a column on a piece of paper. On the contrary, indicate a new positive interpretation of the negative quality. Suppose that the negative belief that became the basis of the complex is a lack of appearance ( a long nose, big ears, scar, etc.). Indicate on the other side of the sheet how this is compensated (beautiful smile, expressive look, slim figure etc.). Destroy the negative part of the sheet, and read the second part daily until the positive beliefs become normal for you.

• Follow your own thinking.

The internal dialogue should take place on a positive note. If there are in your head, instantly change them to positive or at least neutral. Think of your own character appearance and behavior only from a positive point of view. It is impossible to abstract from the complex without changing the way of thinking.

• Do a self analysis.

All people have strong and weak character traits. Analyze yourself. Knowing your own strengths will help you respond more calmly to the criticisms of others. Keep in mind that there should be more positive qualities than negative sides. If you have any difficulties, ask friends and family for help.

• Recognize the negatives.

Ignoring the shortcomings will not lead to anything positive. Weak sides character needs to be known and accepted, but it is not necessary to experience an inferiority complex in this regard. Everyone has unpleasant traits, but only by recognizing them, you can overcome the negative sides.

• Focus on the virtues of character.

Whenever an inferiority complex gets the better of a situation, remember to positive qualities. Consciously shift your attention to the dignity of your own personality. Act persistently and soon you will notice that self-esteem has increased and the complex is defeated.

• Don't take criticism to heart.

Criticism is a subjective judgment of other people and nothing more. There may be some fairness in a critical statement that is worth listening to, but do not forget that the opinions of others are not the ultimate truth.

The reason for the inferiority complex is not in the statements of others, but in your own thoughts on this matter.

• Watch your own environment.

Cheerful and positive people inspire others to be optimistic. Communication with them supports in difficult moments and gives inspiration for new achievements and the development of one's own life.

• Don't avoid interacting with people.

Insecure people avoid communication with others. They are reserved and closed. Face fear in the face and don't make up excuses to avoid communication. By following this advice, you will notice that people are quite positive about you and do not criticize you.

• Constantly develop.

Engage in physical, intellectual and spiritual development continuously. Learn new things on your own, read books, attend courses and trainings. Developing, and your self-esteem will increase.

• Find a role model or idol.

A role model can be a person from the immediate environment, the hero of a book or film, a celebrity. Analyze the traits of his character that attract you. Periodically take on this role and gradually you will notice that the idol's virtues will eventually become yours.

• Read optimistic literature.

Positive books with a positive plot will set you on an optimistic wave. After good literature, thoughts are painted in iridescent hues. Inspired by the books of Anthony Robbins, Anatoly Nekrasov and other authors.

• Start .

Write down the events of the day, your own achievements and positive moments in or blog. Set aside at least 10 minutes a day for this.

Change your own thinking and outlook on life. You will not get rid of feelings of inferiority, complexes and negative thoughts if you do not make an effort to do so.