It just so happened that they try to bring up boys strong and courageous, but ...
Do you know the saying: "Whoever hurts, he talks about that"? The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan clearly explains the deep meaning of this simple, popular statement. After all, you can rephrase this thought as follows: everything that a person says, he says about himself.
And in fact, when a person is in a good mood, when he is in love or is successful, then his words and judgments about the world around him are positive. He can rejoice in other people's successes, admire the beauty of the world around him, and he sees people from the positive side. No, he does not lose the adequacy of his judgments, he can clearly see both positive and negative character traits of people, but in general his attitude towards people is positive.
When a person has something wrong, when he is dissatisfied with something, dissatisfied, then everything he says always has a negative meaning. And in this article we will tell you how a person throws out his negative internal bad states on others.
What is hidden behind the external negativity?
The topic of anal mud parsing is thoroughly considered by the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. It has been written many times about how bad conditions of the anal vector manifest themselves. The frank, dirty criticism with which the entire Runet is oversaturated is the work of dissatisfied analniks.Depending on the severity of the conditions and the level of intelligence, a person can express himself both in an intelligent language and, with all his snobbery, trample on a victim that gets in his way, or openly throw mud at her, toilet vocabulary.
Everything that a person writes with an anal vector in the form of criticism speaks about one thing - about his internal, social and (or) sexual dissatisfaction. The picture can become even more saturated when we are dealing with an anal-skin person, in which there are both anal and skin deficiencies.
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan shows that bad conditions of the skin vector can be expressed in envy. But envy, especially in our society with a urethral-muscular mentality, has never been held in high esteem. We are ashamed of envy, we are taught from childhood not to envy, although, in fact, they are only taught to hide our envy, and, unfortunately, few people know how to teach not to envy.
And now, when we are dealing with an anal-dermal person in whom skin envy and an anal desire for criticism live, then the mixture turns out to be the same. On the one hand, skin envy begins to float out. Moreover, it comes up very interestingly. Remember what Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology says? We always talk about ourselves.
By openly criticizing his opponent, he gets some relaxation. But at the same time, the critic himself at some point catches himself thinking that too much criticism comes from him. But here he finds an excuse for himself: and I am such a person - straightforward, everything that I have to say, I speak directly. The only question is not whether he says it or hides it, but why these aspirations appear in him to present someone in a negative light, and always in comparison with himself.
A person in whom there are shortages, dissatisfaction with his life, will always try to bring them out. And when we see a person in front of us, from whom negativity constantly emanates, who every now and then seeks to prick another, we must understand where this is coming from. Otherwise, such a person can hang psychological anchors on us, instill in us the confidence that something is really wrong in our life. That is, he artificially creates mental stress in us, which prevents us from living.
To clearly see the true motives of a person, the real meanings that are hidden behind his words - allows the systemic thinking that we get at the training on system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. About how people's relationships with the outside world are changing,
We wrote about and many times. You probably understand that life is not so long a thing to spend it on all sorts of unworthy people! Negativity burdens you, because of it you lose strength and get terribly tired. So how do you determine which people you don't need on your life path?
1. Hopelessly evil drama queens
Drama Queen is a word derived from the English phrase Drama Queen. In fact, it means those people who turn their whole lives into a real drama with the demonstration of some strange things, empty loud scandals and other negativity. In all seriousness, these people behave as if they are right in the theater among a hundred or two chairs and the audience that looks at them, and they are playing in a Shakespearean production. Usually this behavior is common. The more you shout at them, the more they shout at you and the better they feel: they love to be in the center of the drama. People of such drama queens are interested only as a source of emotions and experiences, which they artificially support in them with causeless scandals.
2. A person who has not been able to please you for a long time
Some people are really hard to like. And they sympathize with some people, but others - fig.
Some people, due to their own negativity, may not love you for reasons that they themselves cannot name. It’s commonplace: you don’t like you. Your every attempt to correct their attitude towards you will only worsen it. Don't hate them, don't try to fix them - just walk away.
3. Those who always oppose your plans and dreams
As we have written in many articles, stop trusting those who laugh at your dreams. They really don't deserve it. A true friend will not laugh at even the wildest dream. The most he can say is, "Dude, maybe this isn't yours?" Your failure could be a direct echo of following their advice, man! Disbelief in your strengths of supposedly close people can put a number of psychological restrictions on your personality, bro. Tie up to communicate with them!
4. Manipulators
Beware of those who try to control your thoughts and affairs, even if they are your relatives. These people will demand your help, putting their personal needs ahead of others. They will appeal to your conscience, reproach you for not helping loved ones in times of need, that good people do not do this. But they, in turn, will help you reluctantly, emphasizing in every possible way that they are incredible fellows, that they help you, forcing you to be much more grateful than necessary. Also, these people may well intimidate you, influence you in the strangest way. Often, despite all the ugliness and repulsive nature of the situation, we accept this behavior as the norm ("These are close dudes!"), But this is not worth doing, bro! And it doesn't even make sense to those close to you, believe me!
5. Stubborn insisting that you should be someone else
Let these people not respect you for your actions, but this is much better than toil, realizing that you have taken the wrong advice. Relatives and friends often fail to understand that you have changed over the years, that your views can also change. They can still talk about the person "Vova always flew somewhere in the clouds", not wanting to notice that Vova's dreaminess passed when he was 18 years at the most.
But it is important to understand that the only person who firmly knows what is going on in your head is yourself. And even then, you hardly know whether you have really changed or it only seems to you that way. Until you yourself understand what kind of person you are, you will not see happiness and success. But if people around you still do not understand that you have changed, communication with them should be reduced: they cannot love you for who you are.
6. A friend who refuses to forgive your past mistakes
Don't be scared to be wrong, scared not to admit mistakes, dude. We all do them - some more, some less. Mistakes teach us life, help us gain experience. But those people who still remind you of your old mistakes are definitely not worthy of your respect. Especially if a REALLY long time has passed. Those who constantly remember your old sins are unworthy to be around you. That's the truth, bro!
7. Our inner critic
Boom! Alarm call! Yes, inside each of us there is a strange and frightening inner critic who, in a good scenario, will question our actions, forcing us to estimate the risks, and in a bad scenario, he will only slow down all our activities. Often we perceive only positive life experience, while completely sincerely not realizing that mistakes, coupled with our worries, are also part of our nature. Shouting too often from our inner critic can make us a little sick, bro. And we don't want that, right?
There is no such person in whose environment you will not meet negative-minded persons. Acquaintances, work colleagues, just casual passers-by - they can all intrude into the conversation and turn the conversation into a negative direction. And no matter how hard we try to completely exclude unpleasant personalities from the social circle, they appear again and again on the horizon in different guises. Some of them love to feed on negative emotions so much that they consider a day lived without insults, barbs and humiliation in vain. In this post, we will teach the reader how to deal with such poisonous individuals.
Let's remember situations from the past
Remember what your environment was like at school or college? Surely the class was attended by children from dysfunctional families, bully children, hooligans and bully, dreaming of taking out their aggression, compensating for parental beatings, on their peers. And at the institute there have always existed, exist and will continue to exist groups of people who are constantly dissatisfied with the state of affairs. Remember that the teaching staff has its own characteristics. Many of them have favorites, while all principled mentors are ready to simply raze all of them.
Daily negativity by occupation
Having received a profession, especially if the sphere of activity forces one to be involved in socially unprotected strata, a person, by the nature of his employment, is called upon to help the disadvantaged and victims, all the time taking on human troubles and problems. Our advice will help, above all, workers in the social sphere who, by the nature of their work, face negative emotions on a daily basis. All other readers will also find a lot of useful information for themselves.
Learn not to get into an argument
1. Psychologists, long and painstakingly studying relations with negative persons, advise avoiding conflict situations with such persons. Remember that a negative person has long formed his views on life and will never change them, even if a thousand good arguments are poured on him. And for each of your weighty arguments, such a person will always find 10 of his arguments. Trying to prove your case, you will always be forced to circulate around the negative of the interlocutor, which ultimately will suck you in like a funnel and will quickly pull you down.
We propose to behave as follows. At the very beginning of the conversation, give 1-2 constructive comments and track the mood of the interlocutor. If he shows no signs of deviating from his opinion, do not continue the argument. 
Empathize with upset people
2. Perhaps a good half of negative personalities will respond to your empathy. They are probably most interested in speaking out about their problem, rather than solving the issue. Play the role of a "vest", let people pour out their souls to you, and it will make them feel better.
Lend a helping hand
3. Sometimes human complaints look more like pleas and a cry for help than empty groans. Offer your all possible help in response to the next such complaint. In the end, just ask if the person is doing well and you will see the situation miraculously change.
Stick to casual communication
4. If you know some of the characteristics of negative acquaintances or work colleagues, never translate the conversation in a direction that can agitate a sore subject. If your coworker has problems at home, try not to talk about his wife and children, otherwise you will be sucked in again by the abyss of negativity. In this case, talk about hobbies, about winter fishing, about football - about anything that does not irritate the interlocutor.
So, you and I understand that we must more fully try to extinguish potential negative emotions. Therefore, there will always be only one way out of the situation - to bring the interlocutor to the positive. Think about the fact that, perhaps, the person himself was swallowed up by the abyss of negativity, and he simply does not know how to get out of the abyss. So give him a portion of positive emotions, abstract pleasant topics in the conversation. Lift the person you are talking to, give a compliment and talk about simple things. 
Ignore negative comments
5. It is impossible to control the interlocutor 100%, so be mentally prepared for the fact that sooner or later negative comments, taunts and insults will come to light again. How to proceed in this case? Save standard blanks in the form "I see", "good" or "okay". These templates will act as a protective barrier that will easily help you ignore any negative comments. Do this as often as possible, and the person will realize that it is simply impossible to talk to you in a negative way.
Learn to praise someone for good things.
6. Relationships between adult members of society, their psychological aspects, can learn from positive experiences from other areas, such as the upbringing of the younger generation. It turns out that adults also subconsciously love when they are praised for good deeds, perhaps they are simply afraid to admit it to themselves. You can highlight in the interlocutor any detail you like, be it a new haircut or fashionable clothes. Perhaps for the first time he will be surprised and even confused, but he will definitely be delighted and simply disarmed. It is good to use this technique in the long term as well.
Have an extended conversation
7. Be aware that if you do not conduct a conversation in a "1 on 1" format, but involve someone else in the conversation, then the negative of the interlocutor will be sprayed into smaller particles. Thus, you will ease all the burden that you could take on yourself if you spoke in a tete-a-tete format. By connecting someone else to the conversation, you can successfully put into practice the techniques that we talked about earlier. 
Know how to be responsible for your reaction
8. No man is perfect. And maybe you yourself perceive someone in a negative light, and this is exclusively your personal judgment. Probably, other people are able to perceive the same person in a completely different way. In other words, a certain negative stereotype has developed in your mind, but this is only your opinion, and only you are responsible for it. By looking for positive traits and qualities in a person, you can develop your own skills. It's hard, of course, but doable.
Minimize contact
9. Everything we talked about here earlier takes a lot of work, time and patience. Let's face it, not everyone has the opportunity to “tinker” with problematic negative personalities (if only not connections with professional activities) and cultivate positive qualities in them and in themselves. In this case, there is only one way out - to reduce communication with such persons to nothing.
We are always surrounded by emotional energy. The way we interact and communicate with people has a noticeable impact on our lives. But whether this effect is positive or negative depends largely on the emotional energy around us.
Each person brings something to your interaction with him, and the more positive the people we let into our life, the more positive, energetic and fulfilling it becomes. When most of our relationships involve negative energy, it will surely make you feel anxious, depressed, and isolated. No wonder such people in the environment are called toxic. Sometimes they are not even easy to recognize right away.
1. They embody pessimism
Toxic people don't see anything good in every situation, even the most hopeful one. A sunny and warm day will be rainy in the eyes of a pessimist, and it is almost impossible to convince him otherwise.
2. They are constantly in the form of a victim
Which is directly related to eternal pessimism. These people always suffer and refuse to believe that they can change something for the better. They are invariably victims in everything, even if they themselves are the initiators and even provocateurs of any situation. Such people completely refuse to be held responsible. You are always wrong, and the injured party is just them.
3. They never make time for you.
Toxic personalities are a walking excuse and one continuous reason why they are unable to do anything. Nevertheless, they constantly demand that you spend your energy on them and are offended if you refuse. Remember that positive relationships are always a two-way traffic, not a one-sided game.
4. They always use you shamelessly.
Toxic people always need something from you. They are able to use you in every aspect of their and your life, and even the smallest detail. They will flatter and support you to get the rewards they need, and they never do anything for free and unselfishly.
5. They complain and whine incessantly.
You are unlikely to hear cheerful and optimistic words from the lips of toxic people. They will always find something to complain about. If the weather is warm and sunny, they will complain of excessive sweating or sunburn. They are always and everything is bad. By the way, they are also probably unhappy with you and your relationship.
6. Being around them is physically and emotionally exhausting.
Friendship is a positive experience, and positive emotions should be expected from a relationship. Any interaction should bring joy and inspiration. However, toxic people emotionally unsettle you, rob you of your inner balance and harmony, and literally start sucking the energy out of you.
7. They strive to change you
These people do not see anything good in the world around them, and in you, by the way, too. They will not like your hairstyle, dress style, hobbies, or your whole personality. Of course, they will try to change you and influence you in every possible way in this regard.
8. They spread gossip
Don't confuse backbiting and communication. Toxic people gravitate towards the former. When you hear negative comments about third parties from someone from your social circle, then be alert - this is how toxic people are recognized.
9. You, too, feel pessimistic and depressed around them.
Sometimes the symptoms of being surrounded by toxic people with strong negative energy come from within. If your positive, optimistic personality turns into a pessimistic and anxious personality, then you yourself risk becoming a toxic person, spreading the infection of negativity.
10. Positive relationships in your life are destroyed.
When you constantly absorb the negativity from the toxic people around you, be prepared for the fact that all your favorable and benevolent connections will begin to collapse. You will begin to notice that other people simply shy away from you, because you yourself are already turning into a source of negativity and depression.
11. They radiate jealousy and envy
Envy is an absolutely human emotion, and we still experience it sometimes. However, the jealousy and jealousy of toxic people will make you unable to feel happiness and joy, no matter how well your life turns out. A toxic and envious person will always be sullen around you, and this will oppress and overwhelm you.
How should one behave with people who constantly carry negativity in themselves?
Negative people are like black holes that appear out of nowhere and suck all the vitality out of you. You strive to remain optimistic in their presence, but in the end, by the end of the conversation, you already feel like a squeezed lemon.
How to deal with negative people?
It is necessary to learn to identify which people are negative, and only then learn to communicate with them in such a way that they would no longer be able to transfer their negativity to you.
It's pretty easy to pick out negative people from the rest of the team. In the presence of such people, you feel in danger, you are tense, you want to end the conversation with them as soon as possible, you feel that your energy evaporates, it seems to you that you are starting to get sick, you have a feeling that you are under pressure.
Once you have learned how to identify negative people, immediately start a defensive strategy:
Determine where the wind is blowing from
Try to understand why this person is so negative about everything. Perhaps he hates his job, his personal life does not go well, he has low self-esteem. It is quite possible that these people feel strong only when they offend someone ?! Once you understand what is the reason for such negativity, it will be easier for you to deal with it. Some also believe that if they do not cry, complain endlessly about their life, then no one will hear them and no one will pay attention to them.
Just smile and be silent
Ask for something positive
If, nevertheless, you were forced to listen to a lot of negativity, ask now to tell you something positive, funny and joyful. Some people, unfortunately, do not even suspect that they carry so much negativity in themselves. Your request to tell something positive can serve as a signal for them that they actually did not want to turn into constantly complaining about everything. If we are talking about incorrigible pessimists, then they will not come to you now, because they will already know that they will have to tell you something positive, and this is absolutely beyond their power.
Imagine a bright light around you
When dealing with negative people who draw on your energy, imagine that you are surrounded by a bright light that protects you from all negativity. The light does not let this negative into your field, it acts like a boomerang, and all negative energy returns to the one who sends it to you.
Treat negativity with positive
As soon as they start complaining about everyone and everything in this life again, enter into a dialogue and tell the speaker that everyone loves him, that he is appreciated. In other words, for every negative statement, find something positive in response.
Don't feel guilty
You should not feel guilty for the fact that these negative people are constantly bad and everything is not going well for them. You should not even strive to throw all your strength to help them, because the main goal of these people is to suck all the energy out of you and convey your negativity.
