How to be worthy and not approachable. Signs of a man's attention: will inaccessibility play in your favor? Why is it bad to be a wish-maker

Garden equipment 28.07.2021
Garden equipment

Irina Gulevskaya

Every man has a natural hunter instinct, so it is generally accepted that impregnable girls are considered the most interesting among the opposite sex for them. After all, it is very difficult to conquer her, and this “turns on” real men.

All means to achieve the goal are included - gifts, flowers, often even persecution. And all this is just for the sake of the person you like paying attention to the person.

Make a man conquer you!

It happens that this does not even come from "Great love", but purely out of sports interest. In most cases, this very interest develops into something more. And sometimes the development of such relationships is much more productive than with mutual sympathy. After all, as you know, a man gravitates most of all to that lady who got him with especially stubborn efforts.

How does that unapproachable stranger behave, and in general, by what signs can you recognize her in ordinary communication?

What means "To be an unapproachable girl"?

It means being a real problem for men. Being touchy, you will inspire them to feats, pump out all their strength and energy, morally devastate, but ... greatly interest! Nobody likes accessible girls, even if they are incredible beauties. Is it possible that something that came into the hands of itself, which did not have to be desperately achieved, for which, in the end, did not have to be spent elementary money, could be valuable? Of course not! Anyway, for a man, with his something "Hunting instinct".

Even if you are madly in love with a guy, you should not demonstrate your willingness to hang around his neck right here and now. Otherwise, you will irrevocably lose his interest in yourself, even if such was the case at first.

What is an unapproachable girl?

Sometimes it happens that ostentatious inaccessibility for a woman is something like a tool for obtaining a certain profit. This applies to those who turn a good "dynamo" in men. They willingly communicate with representatives of the opposite sex, flirt, even admit hints of intimacy on the part of the fan who has appeared, but with all their might they delay "Moment of truth" as much as possible.

During that same "pull", a woman gets a lot of personal benefit - going to expensive restaurants, theaters, concerts; purchases of equipment, clothing, fur coats and other things; rest abroad. Some women do not pursue material gain, and they do it simply in order to receive moral satisfaction due to the constant admiration for their persons (which does not make it easier for rejected men). Is this how an unapproachable girl behaves? Not really.

True touch-ups have virtually no goals. And all their "icy" visual component, as a rule, hides completely different problems. For example, past failures on the personal front, or psychological trauma. And some women, indeed, are almost impossible to please because of their wisdom or life experience. Young girls are almost always greedy for "sugary" guys. They like a cute appearance, and for the sake of it they are ready to endure many character flaws, just to meet with the "king" of a school or university.

As she matures and experiences, a woman gains worldly wisdom and learns to automatically “weed out” all who do not become a good candidate for her hand and heart. And sometimes this process becomes so fanatical that a woman completely ceases to notice any objective advantages in men.

All the elements of courtship seem funny and comical to them, all attempts to win their hearts are stupid, all real positive aspects are insignificant.

So what is inaccessibility - a gift or a vice?

It is impossible to say for sure. It is only known that each "The snow queen" sooner or later, the fan appears who is 100% worthy of her.

An unapproachable girl definitely values ​​herself. She does not exchange for everyone she meets and does not fall into the arms of fans on the first date. Perhaps she does not deliberately "kindle" interest in herself with her behavior, but she always knows exactly what kind of man she needs and is looking for him exclusively. More precisely, it waits until he finds it himself.

What do men think about inaccessibility?

From the point of view of men, an unapproachable girl is one who:

  1. "Waiting for its finest hour";
  2. “He tries to present himself as unique”;
  3. “She behaves as if she has a stone instead of her heart”;
  4. “Not interested in guys at all”;
  5. "He wants everything at once."

Despite the unflattering remarks, it is for such women that men are ready to give not only all their dignity and pride to the rest, but also, if necessary, their lives. It is with such women that they fall in love once and for all, having learned the value of owning them. These are the women who inspire and keep men. "On a short leash", and so skillfully that you can never say about it from the outside.

If a girl loves herself, it is visible to others, and people are drawn to her. But loving yourself doesn't mean "Put on the crown" and prejudice others.

How to love yourself and become touchy?

In this context, the expression "love yourself" does not mean at all what is usually meant by it.

Moreover, this must be done in order for self-esteem to grow. But to love yourself means not to waste your time on every man. There are girls, looking at whom you might think that they are desperate to seek love.

They can be incredibly beautiful, intelligent, caring, loyal and economic, but they endure constant downfalls in their personal lives. Partly because they do not love themselves, and give all their warmth to men who skillfully use it.

The expressions on the faces of these women seem to be painted with the stamp of loneliness and suffering, and of course, they are ready to rush to meet anyone who offers to while away the summer evening together.

Here signs of male attention and the fact that you are not indifferent to him - there are six of them. Have you checked at least 2-3 of them? Most likely, he is looking for a way to get to know you better. But if this does not happen, how to keep his interest and is it worth being inaccessible for this purpose?

1. Talking about you

Is he interested in you? In this case, he will certainly want to learn as much as possible about you from your mutual friend or acquaintances.

2. Glance

Did you catch his admiring gaze on you? And this despite the fact that the young man is at the other end of the room? He glances over your figure briefly, and then lingers in front of your eyes. You even think that he is about to smile. This view says a lot! Signs of a man's attention begin precisely with a look - 80% of the stronger sex are visuals.

3. Conversation

Did he like you? If the guy finally gets up the courage to come up close to you to chat, this is undoubtedly a good sign that he is interested in you. He will carefully listen to everything you say and respond to your every remark.

But at the moment he is most interested in the most important question: do you have anyone? Most often, young people ask this question to girls with whom they want to date, and they certainly expect to receive a negative answer.

4. Decorations

Of course, this may seem a little strange, but if you want to meet a nice guy, then it is better not to wear rings, especially on your right hand when going to a restaurant or to a party. When there is a decent distance between you and a young man, it is difficult for him to see which finger you have the ring on, so he may mistakenly think that you are married. And then all signs of a man's attention will quickly fade away.

Don't let this happen! If it so happened that the guy you liked did not dare to ask you the most important question, do not despair, he will certainly ask your mutual friends about it.

5. Unexpected appearance

If you meet a young man more and more often in the most inexplicable places, rest assured: you have won his heart. This is possible if only he found out from friends about your plans for the day or secretly followed you. Signs of a man's attention can be the most unexpected.

When meeting you, he may feel embarrassed and blush. His sudden “Hello! What are the fates? " should be regarded as "I do not want to seem too intrusive, but I really like you." If you also care about this man, do not be embarrassed. Stop and chat with him.

6. Everyone likes you

Did he like you? Have you noticed signs of the man's attention? If you are a successful and happy woman, why shouldn't he pay attention to you? Of course it will! If suddenly, for some reason, your life does not suit you, it's time to fix it.

Assess your career opportunities, improve your appearance, spiritual development, reconsider your plans for the future and think about how you can achieve your goals. After all, every person is endowed by nature with some kind of gift, the main thing is to open it up in time and begin to develop it. Undiscovered talent disappears over time, never starting to bear fruit. Act, develop, and then he will certainly pay attention to you.

Now you know 6 signs that a young man likes you and wants to ask you out on a date. Help him, be nice and friendly. Who knows, maybe this very date will mark the beginning of a long and strong relationship. Maybe you should try other tricks?

Is it worth being inaccessible to keep your attention?

For many years in the female world, it has been assumed that an inaccessible woman has more success with men. However, this is not true. Signs of a man's attention may depend entirely on other personality traits.

In fact, this myth can cause more grief and unjustified expectations in a relationship than you might imagine. First of all, let's look at a few classic examples from the behavior of an "inaccessible" woman:

  • if he comes up to you in a bar, you don't pay any attention to him
  • do not reply to his messages the next day
  • dodge if he tries to invite you somewhere
  • tell him that you are busy when you are free

Do you recognize yourself?

Raising a hypocrite

It's understandable why this behavior seems like a good idea - let him deserve me! What he got with such difficulty, he will value very highly. Such a psychology leads to the fact that a woman begins to manipulate a man, and he, in turn, begins to hide what he really feels, and hides his true face from the woman.

So you play. You can tell him that you are busy even though you have plenty of free time. Or you can stop answering phone calls. Or cancel the appointment at the last minute without any apology. Simple psychology, right? The harder it is to get you, the more he wants what he can't have. But it's not a fact that the signs of a man's attention from this will become more noticeable and he will spend more efforts in order to win you over.

What are the consequences?

Perhaps, in the beginning everything is so. But if you look a step further, you can see the following - once he gets what he wants, you will not seem so attractive. He is more passionate about the game, the process itself, than you.

He is attracted to the idea of ​​possessing you, but when he does this, he will ask himself why it was necessary to try so hard. Realizing this, some women come to the conclusion: "So I just need to keep playing to keep his interest." And they continue to play, fearing to "lose their strength." This tactic will not lead to long-term, happy relationships.

What kind of guy is next to you?

In fact, the man who ends up staying with you if you play this game with him can only be of two types:

  • An insecure weakling who all the time tries to figure out where he belongs.
  • The man who plays his own games with you.

The rest of the stronger sex will do the following:

  • will drop his hands, turn around and leave, entangled in your behavior and deciding that you are not interested in him;
  • will start to get bored and switch to someone more interesting;
  • decides that you are too arrogant and not worth his time.

And that is why the game of "inaccessible" should be stopped. Sincerity and trust are important in any relationship. And signs of a man's attention should be considered from this point of view.

Signs of attention of a man in love

In order to find out if a man is in love with you, there are five signs of his love. Experts analyze each of them in this video.


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Often men cannot approach a girl to get acquainted due to the fact that, in their opinion, she is closed. Therefore, in many sources you can see advice to girls to be more open. However, openness sometimes leads to the fact that a female representative begins to be perceived as an accessible object.

So, openness or accessibility? Trying to answer this question, I thought: what's the use of reading advice in glossy magazines that women give to women. I’ll ask the men themselves, on what grounds do they consider a woman open enough to want to meet her and communicate, and when her openness already seems to be a sign of easy accessibility.

First of all - a man!

Some of the answers made me rethink my expectations. It turns out that I had a slightly worse opinion of most men. That's what feedback means! Men told me that it is better to start communication after all with friendship, and not with flirting. This allows the girl to behave naturally, and not in the way one of the respondents described to me: "After every word you say, you are assessed whether she is too" easily accessible "and whether she is" open "enough for you to continue communicating with her seriously, and not "as with an accessible object".

I summarize this point with the words of one man: "To be open is not to see in everyone who asks" what time is it "who wants to" stick it in ", to communicate as if another woman or any other person (grandmother, grandfather) addressed you, which does not include in to your brain the task "they want me, so you need to send me off or please."

Do not generalize!

It was a man's request - not to call the pose leg by leg closed, but open - on the contrary. That is, all these antics, special poses are for readers of glossy magazines. Cultural adults communicate on a different level, for them all these questions seem natural and do not need interpretation. And for those who have not yet set priorities or set them incorrectly, a description of poses or facial expressions is unlikely to help.

Takeaway: be open, but don't be available. Or just be. And the point.

Maybe it's not you?

Somehow a friend pulled me to a biker party. After a while, I ran from there at a gallop, in spite of the chafing shoes. Because literally everyone who was next to me climbed to hug. Frankly, I was very frustrated and for a long time considered myself some kind of cheeky lady, capable of causing only animal lust in a man. But at one point, I shut up the voice of the internal prosecutor and realized: it's not about me, but about the contingent.

And here is another story that one of my acquaintances told me: “Incredibly, dazzlingly beautiful young lady, friendly, listening attentively, laughing at my jokes. She invited me to a cafe to sit after work. She threw off her shoes - my legs were tired during the day. I took my feet in my hands, I massage them. She likes it, but as if it was necessary, as if she had invented it. And that's all. The thought does not even arise that it is possible that to afford something more ".

And I know that this man, even with a frankly cheeky girl, will not allow himself anything superfluous. And it is not known how the matter would have ended if this lady took off her shoes like this, for example, in the company of a brutal macho.

Takeaway: Don't look for fresh bananas in a bargain basket.

Expert opinion

Getty Images / Fotobank

To support the feedback from men with a competent opinion, I turned to Pavel Zygmantovich, a family psychologist, an expert in the field of relations between men and women, zygmantovich.com.

In general, he confirms the thought voiced in the previous paragraph: “The balance between openness and accessibility is measured primarily in relation to a particular man. This balance must be taken into account that the ideal state is not achievable - you just have to strive for it. "

How is an open woman "calculated"?

Pavel Zygmantovich answers this question as follows: “It's easy - it's all about the look. An open woman always looks around, you can catch her eyes. ...

Further, it is important what the woman does when her gaze meets the man's gaze. An open woman quickly looks away and - attention, attention! - a second later looks at the man again. And - concentrate! - smiles and takes away again! And then one more time.

Observant men know: if they catch a woman's eye three times, and she smiled at least once, then you can approach. Equally, women know: if after three glances and at least one smile a man does not come up, there are serious reasons for that - he is married, busy, does not want to, sick and so on.

What is the difference between an accessible woman? She does not look away, she looks, almost without looking up, as if inviting. In addition, an accessible woman, as a rule, constantly focuses on her forms. He touches the pendant, slightly tugs at the edge of the skirt, and runs his finger along the edge of the neckline. In general, in every possible way hints at the readiness for immediate sex. Often this is done unconsciously - not in order to invite a man to bed, but simply in order to seem interesting to him. But men see exactly the invitation to bed and begin to consider the woman available. "

Conclusion: watch your hands and look right.

Tatiana Koryakina

If at any moment you are ready to postpone all your affairs and run away to meet a girl, then you will be less interesting to her than if she knew about your employment and sought to get at her disposal a couple of hours of your time. It's important to be inaccessible for a girl and know exactly how to do it.

Why does a girl show inaccessibility

When a girl shows, she tries to fill herself up and wants to check how much you need.

Unfortunately, guys who don't know much about girls make them "closer" in these moments. And they show a willingness to do whatever the girl wants.

Of course, this not only does not work, but also worsens the situation, because the girl perceives this as weakness. At this moment, the girl instantly and sends the guy to an alternate airfield.

And so that the girl understands that you, too, "are not bastard" ...

Why is full availability bad?

Society and television makes young people believe that a girl needs to be sought, taken to restaurants and always ready to help.

But, remembering all our rich life experience, we understand that the more energy we have spent to get something, the more we value it and are afraid of losing it. Each person even produces a hormone that makes him act further in order to get what he wants.

It's the same with girls. If a girl has tried hard to develop your relationship, then, accordingly, she will appreciate them more. To do this, you need to allow her to try a little and enjoy the fact that she will seek your location.

How not to be easy prey

Consider two "options" of behavior demonstrating.

First: you are in no hurry to show a strong interest in the girl and show with your actions and words that you need to earn it. All your meta-message in this case should say that she needs to get out of her way in order to build your relationship. In order for you to be able to do this naturally, you need to be in appropriate.

Second: you communicate with her very well (make you "closer"), but at the same time you often do not have enough time to meet with her. This option is the most "thermonuclear" one. By the way, if you communicate with her in a positive way, say compliments, and then stop communicating, you will only enhance the effect.

She may smile sweetly at you or show interest in some other way, but don't let yourself overreact. Otherwise, she will understand that your inaccessibility is just a mask that you awkwardly pulled on yourself. If you do not want to fail in the process of seduction, then lead your game into inaccessibility according to your plan(letting her gradually gain your interest) rather than according to her reaction. I know that you often want to go to a meeting and meet a girl faster. But you need to be able to force yourself to endure your impulses in order to get a real result.

Let her know that you have many interesting things to do in your life and that you will always find something to do if she refuses to meet you.

Once you overcome the stereotypical misconception that you have to be persistent, you will be surprised at how far and quickly you can move in a relationship. Inaccessibility- this is not only the prerogative of women, as some think. It can (and should) be used by men to interest a girl.

Sergey Kulikov

I know that you came to this blog for knowledge and experience... The fact that you are developing is worthy of respect. But information from one article is often not enough, right?

Need to know about 3 degrees of interest of a girl in Internet correspondence, and about how to jump into the "big league" of those with whom she wants to meet. And to know how to make her come on a date already "ready-made", that is. in a state of interest in you. I am ready to reveal all these secrets to you. To do this, enter your e-mail in the form below and receive my personal work directly to your mailbox!

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Many girls think that playing hard-to-get, hard-to-get, often attracts and bonds new guys to them. Many are convinced that there is something very sexy about it. The puzzle that needs to be solved and the excitement of the hunt grows into a game for him, when the guy does not know when and whether the girl will give up at all for his subsequent advances in her direction. Well, if you agree with these opinions that the so-called reverse psychology acts best on men, and / or you yourself find yourself in a situation where you need to play a similar game in order to attract someone's elusive attention, then the following educational program on the basics- the foundations with which to translate this principle into reality, for you! Moreover, if you play incorrectly, a man can just as well be lost. And if you play too well, the man will think that he does not interest you, and he will slowly but surely lose interest.

The essence of the system is to become available for a moment, to make a strong impression, and the next moment to be completely unattainable.
Difficulty: moderate. All you need is a mobile phone and an excerpt.

1. Constantly flirt with a guy, but flirt with other guys in his field of vision as well. Laugh at his jokes and repeat how cute he looks. At the same time, let him see how you touch other guys. Although it's okay to flirt with others in this situation.

2. Wait about 1 day before calling him back in response to his call. When a guy calls your home, and it is not you who picks up the phone, or your cell phone, and you don’t pick up the phone, don’t call him back immediately, but you don’t have to wait too long to respond to his message. One day is enough and justified not to seem rude at the same time, but also to play inaccessibility, and prick his pride. If you decide to pick up the phone when he rings, do so after the second or third ring. Call back after the day, when you know for sure that he is not at home, and leave a calm message, they say, you are sorry that you did not find him, but you will have to talk next time.

3. Likewise, reply to text messages and e-mail (s) not immediately after reading, but later. Except of course those that turn out to be really urgent - just wait a little. You want to look busy and only partially interested in him. It is in this way that you will clearly demonstrate that at that time you were headlong in business, and that you simply cannot be immediately attracted.

4. Invite him to hang out, but only when other friends are next to you - a general party or gatherings of several people. Never invite him to do something alone with you: not fixing your computer, not doing your homework, not watching a movie. It may seem that since you are inviting him, then you are interested in him. So just change the wording - invite him to join you and your friends for a movie trip or a party. Of course, you can take advantage of suddenly accidentally being in those places alone with him. That is, bring him closer to you, but not too much.

5. Tell him that you are interested in one of his friends, but to his other friend, as if by chance, tell him that you are not interested in a relationship. Thus, a confusing message will reach him, which ultimately makes it clear that you are difficult to get hold of. He won't know for sure if you really like him or if it's just a rumor.

6. Dress in a way that makes you feel confident, fun, and free. Wear clothes that will help you express yourself and amaze yourself with the reflection in the mirror, not it. At the same time, demonstrate in your behavior that you do not need anything from him - it is intriguing just fine.

7. When communicating at a party, school / institute, or other public place, meet by chance, show that you are free and available. Initiate the correspondence yourself (by phone and via the Internet), invite him to do something together, but only where you will not be alone. Take an interest in his hobbies to a certain extent. Show that you are fun and relaxed. Guys have long been accustomed to the fact that women strive to please, but a woman who has a lot of her interests, her own opinion, many friends is very intriguing. However, do not convey too much information about yourself - a woman should remain mysterious and mysterious. But then suddenly disappear from sight, stop calling, writing, do not approach him. This can always be later attributed to being busy and distracted by some kind of problem.

8. If an even tougher game is required - in certain circumstances it is really necessary - do not give your phone number until he asks several times, answer that you are not sure whether this is necessary at all, or they say, you are not sure, that he would, in principle, call. On the first date, explain that you want to continue dating other people, and don't agree otherwise until you get it the way you want it. The main thing is to choose the right person and situation for such extreme measures.

Additions and Warnings:

- The game of inaccessibility, the one that is difficult to get, is usually reserved for the attraction of a man, who is himself “the one who is difficult to get”;
- Do not play hard to get with someone with whom you are already in an active real relationship. The well-being of relationships is built on positive situations and on mutual understanding, not on children's games;
- Before starting the game, make sure that the person is really worth it, and you really want to date him, so that it doesn't work out when you attract him or beat off another girl that you don’t need him;
- Deliberately keep it at a small distance, on the verge between this and that, never show how desirable it is for you or how you need it (you should never look desperate for anything) - this will finally undermine the image of a seductive prey you have created , but always keep the window of hope open - do not overdo it, otherwise he may decide that it is simply impossible to get you;
- Have fun with the process, relax and have fun, remember that the game of inaccessibility is just a flirting tactic, not the final exam.

On the other hand, a girl who has shown her interest in a guy, but continues to competently show inaccessibility, does not play games, she demonstrates that she has respect for herself. So a decent game of "inaccessibility" may be needed from time to time by each of us.

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