What's the age difference with your wife. The ideal age difference between a man and a woman

When creating a family, many factors matter: both the upbringing of the spouses, and their views on life, values, goals of marriage. Much of this depends on the age of the husband and wife, by the difference in which it is sometimes possible to predict possible difficulties in the relationship of the spouses.

Marriages in which the husband and wife are about the same age tend to be early. Usually this is the case when the spouses went to school or university together and got married. On the one hand, such a marriage is distinguished by the common interests of partners: the husband and wife grew up at the same time, they have approximately the same values, most likely they have common friends of a close age. On the other hand, such a high similarity can mean predictability of spouses for each other. When everything becomes known about a husband or wife as about oneself, at some point it can just get boring. Moreover, if young people do not have a lot of experience in relationships before marriage. In such families, spouses often cheat, seeking consolation and support on the side, and sometimes just out of curiosity. According to statistics, it is the marriages between peers that break up more often. In addition, the fact has already been proven that women for the most part mature a little earlier than men, therefore, in a situation where a marriage is concluded between peers, the wife may be annoyed by some of her husband's infantilism, his social disorder.

Age difference 3-5 years

This difference is considered ideal from the point of view of the mental development of men and women. Both husband and wife are approximately on the same level, while still one of the spouses, being older (and traditionally it is still the husband), has already managed to partially realize himself. In such marriages, the eldest spouse is usually about 30 years old, and the decision to create a family is usually more deliberate and balanced. In addition, he probably has experience in relationships and will be able to avoid some obvious mistakes. However, it is in such marriages that relationship tension, rivalry for leadership, unwillingness to make concessions.

Age difference 10 years (or more)

In such a relationship, one of the partners takes on the role of “father” (“mother”), caring, caring, making important decisions. He is able to avoid conflicts without being fooled by provocations and more calmly regarding the claims of the other side.

In addition, such marriages are considered ideal in terms of sexual relations, since the sexual development of men and women occurs in different ways. In men, the peak of activity falls on the age of 20 and gradually decreases by the age of 30 and above. In women, on the other hand, sexual activity increases by the age of 30. As a result, couples in which one of the spouses is older (and it does not matter who it will be: husband or wife) are more likely to be more compatible in bed.

However, such relationships also have their drawbacks: the senior partner may ultimately take the position of a mentor who believes that only his opinion and views on family life are the only correct ones. From the height of his age, he may not realize that the spouse is an adult and independent person who has the right to his opinion. In addition, it is in such marriages that conflicts of interests and values ​​most often arise. In addition, it is more difficult for such couples to find mutual friends, and they are more likely to face misunderstanding and even condemnation from society, especially if a woman is the oldest in the relationship.

There are pluses in every age difference., and negative sides. However, they should be regarded only as a warning about possible problems, but not as a guide to choosing a partner. After all, the main thing in a relationship is respect for each other and the need to be together. Moreover, over time, even the most tangible age difference becomes less and less noticeable.

Life is unpredictable and sometimes gives surprises that are difficult to think about. So often fate presents a much older person as a partner. And if the man turns out to be older, then the people around him are more supportive of the couple than if the woman turns out to be the oldest of the spouses.

When they say that in a given marriage a man is older than a woman, then this is a rather vague idea. After all, the age difference can range from 2-3 years to 10-15 years, or even more than 20.

What is the ideal age difference between a man and a woman

According to the opinions of geneticists in those couples whose age difference is 20 years, genius children are born. But for some reason, human opinion is more tolerant only to those couples whose age difference does not exceed 10 years. But there are representatives of the fair sex who deliberately choose for themselves. And it cannot be said that they are driven only by pragmatism and desire to be enriched.

The fact is that for some girls, the priority remains such qualities that, in their opinion, only older men can bring into relationships. These qualities include loyalty, wisdom, understanding. Indeed, the older man had already walked enough and lived for his own pleasure. Now he is ready for a stable family relationship.

Psychologists also support the theory that relationships with a large age gap are initially set in a strong mood. But this applies to those couples in which the man will not be a tyrant and dictator. Undoubtedly, the older partner will take the leading place, but he must be able to make compromises and in some moments to keep his emotions. If a man is older, then, as a rule, he is already an accomplished personality in terms of career and moral foundations. Of the negative aspects of such relations, one can single out:

1. There is a possibility that the man was already married and already has children. Then there are risks that he will no longer want to have children from another woman or enter into a subsequent legal marriage.
2. Difficulties in understanding may arise (different upbringing, different values).

A man is also very often attracted by younger girls. First, a man with younger girls feels more comfortable and confident. Secondly, do not exclude the external data of an elastic young body.

And if a woman is older than a man

In almost all cases, a woman will be criticized and scolded if her partner is 5 or more years younger. And the young man will immediately get a shortcut gigolo... But psychologists are asking not to make such hasty conclusions. Indeed, even in this case, you can achieve a very happy union.

Firstly, if a woman takes good care of herself, visits beauty salons and fitness rooms, and perhaps leads just a healthy lifestyle, then she can easily give odds to any younger girl. Secondly, when in a relationship, she is devoid of the complexes of young ladies, does not hesitate to present her femininity, sexuality and show emotions. With the help of a younger partner, a woman asserts herself in her attractiveness and necessity. But not every woman can be in such a relationship.

According to psychologists, such a couple can be created by those women who have highly developed leadership qualities, or who like to be overprotective. The danger in such a relationship lies in the fact that a woman can easily turn a young man into a child. Either a young man, sooner or later, will grow up so much that he wants children, and a woman may no longer be able to give birth due to her age.

Spouses - peers

At the moment, such unions, where the spouses are of the same age, are the majority. The couple has many advantages: similar outlook on life, the same interests, mutual friends, the same life experience. But the marriage of peers is not excluded and disadvantages. Which include:

1. Spouses can get bored with each other. This is especially true for couples who got married early.
2. A family cannot function fully without a leader. But often, the young husband does not want to take on this role and the woman becomes the leader in the relationship.
3. The couple, due to the young age of both, is not prepared for everyday life, problems and other troubles.
4. High risk of adultery.

According to studies carried out in different countries, a pattern emerged. Thus, in Finland, according to statistics, men prefer to marry women 15 years younger than themselves. This is due to the fact that in the harsh climate conditions only a young woman is able to bear a healthy and strong baby.


According to Swedish scientists, ideal age difference between spouses is 5-6 years old, moreover, the older a couple should be a man, not a woman. According to Russian researchers, the best option is a union in which a man and a woman are of the same age. One third of all marriages in Russia take place between peers. According to American experts, if the difference between spouses is one year, it will reduce the risk of divorce. The probability that such couples will stay together and be happy is 97%, and only 3% is due to divorce.

But, identifying the ideal age difference, do not forget about love. After all, all ages are submissive to her. The main thing in each union is to find as many points of contact as possible. Then it will not be felt at all.

Valentina was 45 when she met a charming and intelligent man who turned out to be 10 years younger than her. They have a beautiful relationship, but the age difference is alarming - although Valentina looks great, she understands that this difference exists and will feel more and more over the years, therefore it is difficult for her to decide for herself what to do next ...

Natalia is 27, she fell in love with a man who is 30 years older than her. He looks like her father and even his name is the same. Natalia has always been "daddy's daughter". Sergey loves her too, wants to start a family and dreams of children. They feel good together, Natalia is like "a breath of fresh air" for him. But the future of the couple is still uncertain: to be or not to be together, no solution has been found.

An age gap marriage is a very special relationship. They have a lot of pleasant things, but there are also enough dangers. What to expect from such a marriage?

Psychologists say that the same values ​​are important for long-term relationships, not character traits and interests. Our ancestors adhered to the same opinion, trying to choose a couple for children from “their circle”. After all, only those couples who were brought up and raised in approximately the same cultural and social conditions have a similar life baggage. However, to many today this tradition seems archaic. She gave way to a love relationship, which, as you know, knows no boundaries - including age.

Many people entering into marriages of different ages, for a long time, are tormented by doubts about the prospects of such a union. Even in spite of the general feeling of happiness in the marriage. Are there any grounds for such experiences?

When the husband is older and the wife is younger

Often women girls are chosen by men during a midlife crisis. They are looking for a wife who can boast and be an indisputable authority for her. Women who choose an "adult" husband, as a rule, are bored with their peers; in a man they are looking for a second father and a person with a certain status in society.

Such a husband has more experience in everything, including in family life, he will not repeat past mistakes. But the young wife is destined to be “led”. The husband will decide most of the issues for her. But next to his young wife, he will try to look as good as possible, and it is unlikely that he can be compared with his peers, whose wives are "already over ...". And most importantly, such husbands are wonderful fathers, since, unlike young fathers, for them the birth of a child is an absolutely conscious step.

How good it is for women in such a marriage: she is always young! But there is also a minus: a forty-year-old man cannot be altered, that is, his wife receives him with a whole range of qualities, which, of course, have already “put down roots”. If peers can "get used to" each other, then in the case when the husband is older, only the woman will have to "get used".

When the wife is older and the husband is younger

Why are marriages between women of Balzac's age and young men so rare? After all, a beauty next to an elderly man does not surprise anyone, but a woman who looks much older than her young husband is still doomed to catch perplexed glances on herself. Although it is these marriages that seem to be more rational for a number of reasons.

According to statistics, women live ten years longer than men. So if the spouse is even a little younger, the likelihood that everything will be like in a fairy tale - “they lived happily ever after and died on the same day”, increases. The question "to give birth or we are already fine" with a large age difference has to be resolved rather quickly. A young husband wants to take a walk, and a mature wife wants to fulfill a biological purpose. But the presence of a young man nearby stimulates to keep fit!

The plus of such a union: a young husband is a healthy husband, an excellent companion and friend. Not an old "wreck" lying on the couch, but a sporty, fit, taking everything from life, a party-goer and the soul of the company.

Minus - relatives and friends nod their heads “married my son”. A young man tries to shift the burden of responsibility onto his wife if necessary, although there are many married couples in which the husband is much older, but the burden of responsibility and care for the family still rests on the wife's shoulders. In this matter, it is not age that plays a role, but the character and upbringing of the man himself.

The perfect difference

What is the ideal age difference between spouses? Scientists have derived the formula: husband's age / 2 + 7 = wife's age. For example, a 40-year-old man is divided by 2, we get 20, add 7, we get the age of an ideal wife 27 years.

Does the likelihood of conceiving a healthy child decrease if there is a large age difference between the parents?

The age of a man is much less important than the age of a woman. In men, as in women, with age, a natural process of a gradual decrease in the synthesis of sex hormones begins (the main of which is the male sex hormone testosterone). Usually, the onset of "male menopause", or andropause, occurs between 45 and 60 years. However, a decrease in reproductive ability does not at all mean its immediate and complete extinction.

The optimal reproductive age of a woman, from a medical point of view, is 20-35 years. Until the age of 20, a woman's body cannot be considered fully formed; it is often not ready to endure the global hormonal and physiological restructuring associated with pregnancy. At the age of 35 (some earlier, some later), a natural decline in female reproductive function begins. However, it's not just about reducing the likelihood of conception. Unfortunately, after 35-40 years, a woman significantly increases the likelihood of conceiving a child with a genetic pathology (the most famous and common of them is Down's syndrome). The mechanism of this phenomenon has not yet been precisely clarified. Nevertheless, thanks to modern means of prenatal diagnostics and the latest medical advances in the field of pregnancy management, the age bar for women carrying and giving birth to healthy children is literally rising before our eyes.

The age difference between the parents - what does it affect?

There is an opinion that couples with a large age difference are more likely to have, if not brilliant, then, in any case, very smart and talented children. Unfortunately, medicine is not able to confirm or deny this, since it is not known to what extent the child's intellectual potential can be considered innate, and to what extent - a product of upbringing (a big difference in years implies a considerable age and, therefore, a considerable baggage of life experience in one of the spouses).

There is also a theory that the difference in age between parents affects ... the sex of the first child. If you believe the British doctors who conducted special studies, mature men who are eager to have their first-born son, it makes sense to choose a life partner younger than themselves. Childless women of childbearing age who dream of a daughter should also look for a father for their child among the younger representatives of the opposite sex. However, as far as is known, no systematic research confirming such relationships has been carried out anywhere in the world.

All ages are submissive to love ... A well-known Russian proverb hints that a person can find his soul mate, regardless of the number of celebrated name days. Having fallen in love with a person with whom you feel a kinship of soul, a community of views and interests, you rarely think about the years separating you. What is the optimal age difference between a woman and a man, and what does a deviation from the generally accepted norm promise a relationship?

Peers

The most standard model of relationships is recognized as unions among peers. This is due to the simultaneous growing up, extreme mutual understanding, the same interests and similar life positions. In such marriages, as a rule, they are in no hurry to have children, both partners study or work, live for themselves.

A promising start does not guarantee that the union will last until the end of life. According to statistics, 53% of couples lose interest in each other after 2-3 years. Marriage is no longer based on passionate love and sexual attraction, but requires reinforcement of friendship, patience and support. Feelings need to be regularly refreshed by making pleasant surprises, organizing activities together, and taking new steps for the common good.

Wife is older than husband

Girls find it difficult to decide on a close relationship with a male representative who is younger. Ladies are afraid of public censure, they are often shy and complex against the background of young partners. The difference of 2-3 years is neglected by many, and a more significant age gap causes a resonance. Relationships go on ascending only when the wife gives the "reins of government" to her husband, considering him the main one in the family, while remaining the slave. When a mature woman constantly takes care of and educates her lover, gradually turning him into a "son", the union is guaranteed a sad fate - the partner will quickly get bored, and he will seek respect and equality on the side. What is the age difference between spouses?

3-5 years

Age difference , when a woman is a couple of years older, it is almost imperceptible. If a spouse carefully monitors her appearance, looks young, she is energetic and sociable, and her soulmate is a serious and responsible man, even those around her will not be able to notice the difference at the age of 5 years and that the woman is older. Partners have the same sexual activity, mutual friends, and lasting marriages. They are dominated by a woman who is usually already financially independent, she acts covertly and achieves her goal, without belittling the dignity of her beloved. In such families, there is less conflict, more wisdom and mutual understanding.

6-10 years old

Relationships, where there is a 6-year age difference between partners, allow women who have crossed the 30-year milestone. They are self-confident, live an active life, do not mind experiments in bed and most often have a stable financial situation. They are able to show feminine wisdom, remain silent and show patience. Such a union is beneficial to the girl - she always strives to look good, follows fashion and looks after herself to match her young lover.

If the woman is 10 years older , the difference becomes tangible. There will be constant feelings of tension in the relationship, caused by fear of abandonment and jealousy. Guys usually cannot withstand the total control of their beloved and the couple breaks up.

More than 15 years

Falling in love with a mature lady usually has a material background. A young man may be interested in expensive gifts and seek financial gain, especially if the object of his "adoration" has a good income. Women give young lovers lavish gifts, take care of his appearance and wardrobe, provide their patronage and help them climb the career ladder. Such a connection does not last long and is cut off when she ceases to be a "sponsor". Although exceptions to the rule are still found, including among celebrities.

Husband is older than wife

Men do not care at all about the opinion of the public. Marriages where the husband is significantly older than his wife have been encouraged since the days when the parents chose the daughter's spouse. Today, despite the freedom of choice, the trend towards the conclusion of a marriage union between partners of different ages has not lost its popularity. The husband is proud of his young wife and tries to match her. What is the optimal age difference?

5-7 years

The man already has rich life experience, stands on his feet and is ready to start a family. In these marriages, more children are born, the role of the leader is assigned to the man, and the woman feels protected. The lovers are connected with sincere feelings, their sexual activity coincides, he takes part in the upbringing of children on an equal footing with her. In such families, the risk of cheating is minimal, because the girl is young and attractive. Common friends and interests, joint leisure and recreation only strengthen the union.

10-12 years old

The difference of 10 years between a man and a woman is not a big gap. In the eyes of a life partner, a representative of the stronger sex looks mature and serious, he inspires confidence and attracts more peers. Experienced guys look after more beautifully, do not require to become a sex slave, understand their partner better and can give her a lot in moral and financial terms.

If a man is 10 years older , takes a balanced approach to creating a family. He will be able to surround his beloved with care and provide her, does not make mistakes that can lead to the destruction of the marriage union.

More than 15-20 years

Different ages are not a hindrance to happiness. But if the chosen one is suitable for a girl as a father, it is worth considering the necessity and expediency of such a relationship. The 20 years difference between a man and a woman suggests that they belong to different eras. For him, family and stability are in the foreground, for her - the opportunity to hide behind a strong back. Girls who are deprived of their father's attention or who want to derive material benefit strive to marry an adult and a successful person. In this case, problems with jealousy of a young wife and the preservation of common hobbies cannot be avoided, the birth of children and the joint pastime of the spouses is questionable.

What is the ideal difference between a man and a woman? It is difficult to answer this question. Leave a choice to your heart and in choosing a life partner be guided not only by feelings, but also by common sense, then the union will be strong and long.

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