Do I need to visit the cemetery for 40 days. Memorial days after the funeral (video)

40 days after death, what does this date mean for the soul of the deceased person and his loved ones? They can drag on indefinitely or go too fast. Everyone goes through the stages of grief differently. But we know that the soul of a person after death meets with the Heavenly Father. And we can help the soul of the deceased to pass posthumous tests. Therefore, it is so important to pray for a person even after his death. But how to do it right? How to behave so that prayer for the deceased is pleasing to God? In this article, we tried to collect answers to frequently asked questions about why it is customary to commemorate deceased relatives and loved ones exactly 40 days after death.

What does 40 days after death mean?

40 days is an important period that occurs frequently in Biblical history. Prophet Moses fasted for 40 days before receiving the tablets of the Law. The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 days before they came to the promised land.

According to Orthodox tradition After death, a person's soul does not immediately go to heaven or hell. For three days after death, the soul is next to the body and does not immediately leave everything earthly. Only on the third day does the Guardian Angel take the soul of a person and show her the heavenly abode. This time will not last long, only until the ninth day, when the soul of a person appears before God and under the weight of unrepentant sins, this meeting can be difficult for the deceased. That is why the prayer support of relatives is so important. Of course, God is merciful, but we cannot represent Heavenly Father the way we represent a person. It can be difficult for the soul in front of a perfect creator from the realization of its unworthiness. Until the 40th day, a person looks at what hell is, life without God.

What happens to the soul of the deceased 40 days after death

On the 40th day after death, it is determined where the soul of a person will reside - in heavenly abodes or in hell. We do not know exactly what heaven and hell look like, but we have a promise that in hell a person's soul suffers. This decision remains in force until the Last Judgment. We assume that the soul of a person is especially hard at these moments, so the prayerful support of those who remained in earthly life and worries about the deceased is so important. A person's sins create obstacles for him to a joyful meeting with the Lord. But the Guardian Angel and the prayers of loved ones help the soul to go through difficult trials that last from 9 to 40 days after death. This is important for loved ones too. After the death of a dear person, we can no longer do anything for him, except for prayers. We can express our love to a person who has gone into Eternity only through prayer.

Wake for 40 days after death

Until the 40th day after death, the soul goes through trials, ordeals. These days, a person is forced to answer for the sins that he committed during his lifetime, without repenting of them. On the 40th day, the Church tries to help a person at a meeting with the Lord and on the day of determining his future fate. In order to pay tribute to the good deeds committed by a person during his lifetime, a commemoration is organized, where the relatives of the deceased can remember the good deeds of a person, find words of comfort for each other. In the Orthodox tradition, death is considered grief and an inevitable consequence of the fact that evil has come into this world, so grief over the death of a person is natural. The Lord created us all for eternal life. But we know that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, came to give us Eternal life, so despair and despondency do not accompany a Christian's transition from earthly life to Eternity. It is very important that in a difficult moment, next to the relatives of the deceased, there is someone who could find words and consolations and reminders of the Eternal Life that the Lord has given us. For someone to pray for the soul of a person next to the mourners. But abuse and disputes at the wake of a person, memories of past grievances are completely inappropriate.

Relatives at the commemoration are united by a joint meal. Orthodox commemorations do not involve the use of alcohol. It is customary to dress modestly, in clothes of dark colors. One of the dishes of the memorial meal is kutya - porridge, which is prepared from whole grains of wheat, barley, rice or other cereals. Nuts, raisins or other sweets are added to kutya. The dish is poured over with honey, and served with kutya at the very beginning of the memorial meal. If the commemoration of the deceased took place during fasting, the dishes of the memorial table should be lenten. The meal ends with pancakes or pancakes, if the church charter allows it on a particular day. At the wake, as a rule, they drink compote. The memory of the deceased is sometimes honored with a moment of silence.

Is it possible to remember 40 days earlier

For 40 days after death, relatives mourn the deceased and help him intensely with prayer. 3, 9 and 40 days after death are specially marked, because it is on these days, according to the teachings Orthodox Church happen to the human soul important events. Especially on the 40th day, when the fate of a person is decided before the Last Judgment. You can prayerfully remember a person on any day, but it is these milestones in parting with a person that are considered important. You can always go to the cemetery, pray for the deceased by the rite of private prayer for the laity. The most important thing for the human soul is prayer, all other worldly traditions are secondary. There are also exceptions:

If 40 days after death fall on the last week before Easter and the first Sunday after Easter week. Panikhidas are not served on Easter itself. On Christmas and other twelfth holidays, it is also not customary to serve a memorial service, but, in agreement with the priest, they read a litia.

40 days after death - what to do for the relatives of the deceased

40 days after death is an important milestone in farewell to the deceased. On this day, a funeral service is ordered in the Church. Assemble the memorial table. They read prayers for the deceased in private. Unfortunately, there are many superstitions and worldly traditions that are often attributed to the Church. Questions are often asked: “Is it possible to clean up to 40 days after death? Is it possible to distribute the things of the deceased? The church charter does not prohibit cleaning and there are no special instructions on how to deal with the belongings of the deceased, because everything related to material world no longer matters for a person who has passed into eternal life. The main thing we can do is pray and not defile the memory of a person with memories of his bad deeds or past grievances against him.

What prayers to read up to 40 days after death

The rite of lithium (zealous prayer) performed by a layman at home and in a cemetery
Through the prayers of our holy fathers, Lord Jesus Christ our God, have mercy on us. Amen.
Glory to Thee, our God, glory to Thee.
The King of Heaven, the Comforter, the Soul of truth, Who is everywhere and fulfills everything. Treasure of the good and life to the Giver, come and dwell in us, and cleanse us from all filth, and save, O Blessed, our souls.
Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us. (Read three times, with the sign of the cross and a bow from the waist.)

Holy Trinity, have mercy on us; Lord, cleanse our sins; Lord, forgive our iniquities; Holy One, visit and heal our infirmities, for Your name's sake.
Lord have mercy. (Three times.)
Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and forever and forever and ever. Amen.
Our Father, Who art in heaven! Yes, shine your name, may your kingdom come, may your will be done, as in heaven and on earth. Give us our daily bread today; and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.
Lord have mercy. (12 times.)
Come, let us worship our King God. (Bow.)
Come, let us bow down and bow down to Christ, our King God. (Bow.)
Come, let us worship and bow down to Christ Himself, the King and our God. (Bow.)

Alive in the help of the Most High, in the blood of the God of Heaven will settle. The Lord says: Thou art my intercessor and my refuge. My God, and I trust in Him. As if He will deliver thee from the net of the hunter, and from the rebellious word, His splash will overshadow thee, and under His wings you hope: His truth will be your weapon. Do not be afraid of the fear of the night, from the arrow flying in the days, from the thing in the darkness of the transient, from the scum, and the demon of the noonday. A thousand will fall from your country, and darkness at your right hand, but it will not come close to you, both look at your eyes, and see the reward of sinners. As you, O Lord, are my hope, the Most High have laid down your refuge. Evil will not come to you, and the wound will not approach your body, as if by His Angel a commandment about you, save you in all your ways. They will take you in their hands, but not when you stumble your foot on a stone, step on the asp and the basilisk, and cross the lion and the serpent. For I have trusted in Me, and I will deliver, and I will cover, and, as I know My name. He will call to Me, and I will hear him: I am with him in sorrow, I will crush him, and I will glorify him, I will fulfill him with long life, and I will show him My salvation.
Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and forever and forever and ever. Amen.
Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, glory to Thee, O God (thrice).
From the spirits of the righteous who have died, the soul of Your servant, Savior, rest in peace, keeping me in a blessed life, even with You, Humanity.
In Thy rest, O Lord, where Thy saints rest, rest also the soul of Thy servant, as Thou alone art the Lover of mankind.
Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit: You are the God who descended into hell and loosed the bonds of the fettered. Thyself and the soul of Thy servant rest.
And now and forever and forever and ever. Amen: One Pure and Immaculate Virgin, who gave birth to God without seed, pray that his soul be saved.

Kontakion, tone 8:
With the saints give rest, O Christ, to the soul of Your servant, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life.

Ikos:
You alone are the Immortal, creating and creating man: we will be created from the earth and go to the earth there, as you commanded, who created me, and the river of me: as if you are the earth and go to the earth, or else we will go, the grave weeping creating a song: Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia.
The most honest Cherubim and the most glorious without comparison Seraphim, without the corruption of God the Word, who gave birth to the real Mother of God, we magnify Thee.
Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and forever and forever and ever. Amen.
Lord, have mercy (thrice), bless.
Through the prayers of our holy fathers, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us. Amen.
In blissful sleep, grant eternal rest. Lord, to your deceased servant (name) and create eternal memory for him.
Eternal memory (three times).
His soul will dwell in the good, and his memory will be for generation and generation.

Panikhida for 40 days

There are prayers that can be said for the soul of the deceased by the laity and prayers that are performed on the 40th day after death in the temple. A memorial service is read both on the 3rd and 9th day after death. This service begins in the evening and continues throughout the night. This service is moving into matins. For some of the dead, unfortunately, you can only pray in private. The Church cannot pray for those who during their lifetime did not desire this prayer, since faith is an act of good will. It is impossible to order a memorial service for a person who has not been baptized, for blasphemers and for people who have committed suicide without suffering from a mental illness.

Even if the Church for some reason cannot pray for the deceased, loved ones can always pray at home and hope for the mercy of the Lord.

Great memorial service - God rest the souls of the departed Thy servant (Assumption Church, Yekaterinburg)

The death of a person is always a difficult event for those who knew him. For family and friends, this is a particularly painful loss. Wake takes place on the third, ninth and fortieth day after death. In order to conduct them correctly, you need to know what 40 days after death means and how to commemorate the dead. As a rule, there are many traditions associated with this day that are necessary to help the deceased person.

This is the so-called "edge", which is located between earthly and eternal life. This date is a kind of reminder to mankind that after death the soul appears before its Heavenly Father, and it is even more tragic than physical death.

Where is the soul of the deceased all this time? Often at first, people feel the presence of the deceased, smells, sighs, steps. This can be explained by the fact that until the fortieth day the spirit does not leave its habitat.

40 days after death - what does it mean

At first, the soul is free and usually located in important places for it. On the third day, a memorial service is held.

Then she meets with God, the saints and visits paradise, the entrance to which may be closed. That is why the spirit begins to experience excitement and fear for the mistakes made during earthly life. On the ninth day, a commemoration and memorial service are held.

After the ninth day, the soul passes the predetermined trials and obstacles. All good and bad deeds are compared. On the fortieth day comes the Last Judgment, during which it is decided whether immortal life in Heaven or Hell.

How to pray and commemorate the dead?

Every believer is obliged to commemorate the dead. Prayers should be especially diligent at the very beginning, because they help to cope with an irreparable loss more easily. And for 40 days a day, prayer is said at home or in church. In the house, the female part of the family ties a scarf on their heads, candles are lit in front of the image of the Lord.

Being at a cemetery, liturgy or memorial service, it is strictly forbidden to transfer the commemoration. In other cases, if it is not possible to commemorate the deceased on the fortieth day, this can be done earlier.

On the 40th day, a memorial dinner is arranged, during which the deceased is remembered and prayed for his repose. The funeral dinner should include the following dishes:

• kutya from rice or millet;
• sweet pancakes;
• pies with various fillings;
• meat dishes;
• fish dishes;
• salads from lean products;
• favorite dish of the deceased;
• dessert (cookies, sweets, cheesecakes, pies).

To conduct a farewell ceremony with a loved one, it is customary to come to the cemetery with an even number of flowers and a candle on commemoration days. It is forbidden to make noise, eat and drink at the grave. In the form of a treat for the deceased, you can leave a plate of kutya taken from the house at the grave.

For forty days, it is customary to distribute cookies, sweets or pastries to people so that they can remember the deceased.

When do I need to order a memorial service for 40 days?

At this time, visiting the temple is mandatory. There they pray, order a memorial service and magpie. The most important prayer is the one that is said at the liturgy. An obligatory bloodless sacrifice is offered to the Lord.

A memorial service is served before eve - a special table on which gifts are left for the needs of the temple and in memory of the departed. Lithia is held if the memorial service is not scheduled on the appointed day.

Sorokoust is held from the day of death until the fortieth day, and when this time ends, it is allowed to repeat the sorokoust again. Appointments can be extended.

Traditions and rituals

Since ancient times, many different customs have been formed about 40 days, but the church confirms only a small part. Known traditions are listed below:

1. For forty days it is advisable not to give special attention clothes, do not cut your hair.
2. When setting the table for a funeral dinner, cutlery in the form of knives and forks is strictly prohibited, spoons are placed with a notch down.
3. The crumbs remaining on the table must be collected and taken to the grave - in this way the deceased is informed that there was a commemoration.
4. You can also take food from your home with you to the wake, for example, some pancakes or pies.
5. Doors and windows must be tightly closed at night. It is forbidden to cry - because of this, the soul of the deceased may be attracted.
6. On the bedside table or table, you need to leave a glass filled with vodka and covered with a piece of bread. If the soul drinks from there, then the amount of liquid will decrease.
7. Up to forty days you can not click the seeds. There are several explanations for this ban. Firstly, because of this, the soul of the deceased may be spit. Secondly, those who violate the ban may then have a long toothache. Thirdly, in this way you can attract evil spirits.
8. For forty days it is customary to distribute spoons. In ancient times, wooden spoons were handed out from a funeral dinner, now you can hand out ordinary spoons. Thus, while using this cutlery, a person will involuntarily remember the deceased. On the other hand, there is a superstition that it is impossible to distribute various dishes from the wake for forty days - it acts as a participant in the farewell ritual and can bring bad events or even death.

Important signs for forty days after death

Exists a large number of superstitions that are associated with this date. However, it is worth mentioning and knowing the most famous of them:

1. The house cannot be cleaned for forty days.
2. There should always be a night light or a candle burning.
3. In various reflective surfaces, the deceased may appear, who takes the living with him, therefore, up to the fortieth day, everything that has mirror surfaces, for example, televisions, mirrors, etc., is covered with a cloth.
4. During the commemoration for forty days after death, a place is allocated for the deceased, where they put a plate and a glass covered with a piece of bread.
5. The widow's head must be covered with a black scarf all the time up to forty days, otherwise the woman may incur damage to herself.
6. Every day, a towel and a glass filled with water are placed on the windowsill so that the soul has the opportunity to wash.

It is important to remember that a wake for 40 days is not a festivities or a holiday. This is a time of mourning, forgiveness. At this time, it is strictly forbidden to sing any songs, listen to music, drink alcohol.

During the 1-2 hours during which the commemoration takes place, believers pray for the deceased and remember him. Only Christians should be present at the memorial dinner - they will help the family share this difficult time, provide it with spiritual support.

After the death of a person close to us, after the first bitter minutes and hours, it becomes clear that something needs to be done, somehow prepared for the transition to the kingdom of heaven. And the relatives of the deceased begin to feverishly think, ask, find out - what to do, how to properly bury, sing, what can be done, what is forbidden, what is the procedure for conducting a funeral rite, etc.

Usually, they immediately turn to the local priest from a nearby church (or, if the person was churched, from the church he attended). The priest will give right advice about the funeral rite, and everything is somehow formed by joint forces with relatives and friends.

But here the person was buried, buried, funeral services served. What's next? A little time passes, and the question begins to disturb: how to organize the date of 40 days after death, what to do, how to commemorate in order to help the soul of the deceased, and not harm. And here it is important to remember that we have preserved many pagan survivals, you do not need to follow them if you want to help the deceased in the next world.

What happens to a dead person

Of course, no one can know this for sure, but the church tells us that a person, having said goodbye to his mortal body, is eternal in soul, and he has to endure parting with his body, loved ones, familiar way of life, and so on. He, or rather, already his soul, it is very difficult, and she needs our help. For the first 3 days, the soul is still near the body, which is why, according to Orthodox tradition, it is buried on the third day. Then the soul begins to gradually move into another, heavenly world. And this transition is the most important, because the soul will have to go through terrible ordeals, on which the demons will put up obstacles for him from his bad deeds, while the angels will counterbalance them with all the good deeds that a person did during his lifetime. And here it is important - what will win? How many good deeds will fall on the scales against evil ones?

Unfortunately, we are all sinful people, and a lot of bad things are collected by the end of our lives. But - if you still managed to repent and cleanse your soul of sins, but accumulate good deeds - the transition will be much easier. And if not? Well, so beloved dead person and leave, as they say, to the mercy of fate? No, we must be merciful and take care of helping him. Because the person himself, having said goodbye to the body, can no longer help himself in anything and change his fate. And we, who are left on earth, can help. Prayers, good deeds, mercy, correction of their own shortcomings, and so on.

On the 40th day, the soul of the deceased passes (or does not pass) the ordeals of the air and appears at a private judgment before the Almighty. Based on how he lived his life, a temporary habitat will be determined for him. Until the Last Judgment, after which nothing can be changed at all. So, during this time it is possible and necessary to help his soul - pray, ask the Lord for forgiveness for his soul, distribute alms, etc.

40 days after death: how to remember.

Go to the temple, submit notes for the Liturgy in remembrance of the soul of the deceased;
order a memorial service, or even better - a magpie (this is possible in a monastery, or a temple in which the Liturgy is held daily);
organize a wake for 40 days, gathering the closest people to the deceased;
before the meal itself, you must either pray yourself, or invite a priest who will officiate a short litia. And then, with a prayer, proceed to the meal;
with regards to the meal - the rules of the memorial dinner say: on the table there should be a without fail, dishes are simple and hearty, without frills (they did not come to celebrate a wedding, and eat up to satiety, but to honor the memory loved one);
if the time of fasting falls for forty days, then the meal, respectively, should also be fasting. On such days, they cook borscht, make lean salads, roast without meat, fish, and so on.

What Not to Do

Do not put alcohol on the table, or, if there is no way without it, take wine, light, so as not to offend the memory of the deceased by drunkenness at the memorial table;
at the table it is not customary to talk about the news, gossip, discuss someone, or remember the deceased with an unkind word. The memorial meal is intended for this - to tell about the good deeds and deeds of a person, to remember him with a good word. Remember, the people say: “it’s either good or nothing about the deceased”?

Many people ask: what can not be done until 40 days after the death of a relative? Even if, in your opinion, he was a bad person - you can’t blame him, remember bad deeds - you just need to mercifully forgive and ask the Lord for forgiveness. They also often ask - and if he is dreaming of relatives, what should I do? Just pray, that's all. He needs nothing but our prayers and good deeds.

People often ask: 40 days after the death of the commemoration day to day or can you do it later? It is customary to count from the day of death, it acts as the first date, even if shortly before midnight the person died.

Cemetery visit

Go to the temple, write a note. You just need to understand - if a person was not baptized, you cannot apply for the Liturgy for him. Because they pray only for members of the Church of Christ. But you can and should pray yourself, especially before the onset of 40 days, when the soul needs enhanced help. Distribute things of the deceased, help the poor, the sick, give alms with a thought or words - for the repose of the soul of the r.b. such and such. And then order a memorial service, at best - a magpie. Bring food to the temple, put it on the memorial table, put candles on the eve, kiss the icons. Pray to your beloved saints with a request to support the soul of the deceased there with your prayers to the Almighty.

Does he pray for suicides?

Of course, even if a person left this world with his good will and committed a big sin, you still need to pray for him. Only at home - the church does not pray for people who have committed suicide, because they rejected the Lord, who gave them this life and arranges everything as we need. For 40 days, you can only come to the cemeteries, and pray at home in a narrow circle, asking for mercy on his soul, adding "if possible."

Someone asks - is it possible to have a haircut for up to 40 days, how much mourning to keep, and so on. No one puts restrictions on you, and it doesn’t matter to the deceased, in fact, what day you will do it. It is only for the human eye that everything can only be important, like magnificent monuments and all sorts of tinsel. Your memory is good, your prayers, church visits, requests for prayers for the deceased, mercy - all that he needs. And you need to try to do it as well as possible, because no one but you can help him.

Everything happens in life, for example, sometimes it ends. The event, of course, is rather unpleasant, but inevitable. And the relatives of the newly deceased face questions: why is it so important to calculate 40 days after death, how to commemorate correctly, are there other important dates, what is at the wake, and is it possible to somehow alleviate the fate of the soul who has departed to another world.

Life after life

Suppose the irreparable happened - a certain Ivan Ivanovich died. His wife is crying for the third day in a row, sometimes his children join her, his friends are completely at a loss, and his brother has gone on a drinking binge. And everyone concentrates on their own experiences, no one, in fact, thinks about how you can help the deceased and do something for him.

And Ivan Ivanovich, meanwhile, looks at everything that is happening and, being an intelligent person, is even more worried that he has caused such inconvenience to so many people. He still thinks, still remembers everything, sees and hears everything, but already without a physical shell. And he is somewhat dismayed by the fact that instead of starting to bother for his soul, his beloved wife rushes to the stove in order to have time to cook ten dishes for the wake and by the third day.

Although these three days the soul of Ivan Ivanovich is here on Earth, so you can finally tell him how much he was loved and ask for forgiveness for everything. Ideally, read lines from the Bible or, if a person has been an atheist-materialist all his life, give brief instructions about what will happen to him next days, because for most materialistic atheists, the shock after death is especially strong.

The importance of some days

Commemoration is taken on the third, ninth and fortieth day because it's special significant time for the deceased.

• On the third day of a new life, the soul of the deceased finally comes to terms with his new position.
• On the ninth day, he gets the opportunity to learn in practice what is heaven and what is hell.
• On the fortieth day comes the Private Judgment - the result of all human life, on which it will be decided where the soul will stay until the moment of the general resurrection (Last Judgment): on the threshold of paradise or on the threshold of hell.

Therefore, the question of 40 days after death and how to commemorate in order to alleviate the fate of the deceased is always relevant and requires more careful consideration.

The funeral is usually held in the early morning on the third day. Consequently, the soul of the deceased will still be present at them and observe the process. There is a custom to put money in the coffin - you should not do this: times Ancient Greece and ancient Egypt, when it was seen as a practical necessity, are long gone.

• Akathist for the one who died.
• Akathist for the repose of all the dead.
• Prayer Canon to the Most Holy Theotokos.

But even if the deceased person was not baptized, he can be saved by the strengthened prayers of his loved ones. Usually they pray for the unbaptized to the holy martyr Uar.

Signs and superstitions

As always, when people encounter something unknown, superstitions begin to appear around the event. They do not bring any benefit, only further distracting from the main thing. No wonder the very word "superstition" means to believe in vain. And there can be no signs regarding the funeral, in principle.

It’s really not worth throwing away the things of the deceased: who would be pleased with such a dismissive attitude towards what was acquired by overwork? It is better to go over them and what was not very expensive for the deceased, and you do not want to keep for yourself - donate to charity organisations or start distributing to those in need, remembering to ask them for prayers for the soul of the deceased.

Many are afraid of damage and the evil eye, but this is ridiculous and wrong. There are no such things in Orthodoxy. Nevertheless, people come up with some kind of rituals for themselves, for example, they do not cut their hair for forty days after a tragic event, or they sincerely believe that during this period it is impossible to gnaw seeds, etc. This is ridiculous, but energy and willpower, which is spent on these most dubious rites, it is better to spend on something that will really alleviate the fate of the deceased. And remember that you are either an Orthodox or a superstitious pagan who worships the oak and believes in the power of a pinned pin that protects from all troubles.

Preparing for the wake

So, the commemoration of 40 days is coming. The order of their holding is not much different from the third day, except that the intensity of passions subsided a little, and the day is much more important.

First of all, a wake is not a reason to get drunk. This is seeing off a loved one to the best of worlds, saying goodbye to him, the opportunity for everyone to remember something good about him, and only then follow the traditions and sentimental speeches. But no particularly original speeches are needed. It won't make it any easier for anyone.

You should not invite people with whom the deceased did not have the warmest relationship, even if they have known each other for a long time. A commemoration is the last holiday of a person, and he does not need to spoil them. So it is best if only relatives and friends are present.

memorial meal

You can hold a memorial dinner at home, you can in a restaurant - it's not the place that matters. Of course, many superstitions are also associated with the ritual meal, for example, that knives and forks should not be used during the meal. And why? Nobody knows. They wrote on some website, the neighbor confirmed, so it’s impossible. Well, isn't that stupid?

Although sometimes the meal is given too great importance, here is an example of a memorial table for 40 days. Menu:

Of course, it's not a constant. The funeral menu depends not only on the imagination and material capabilities of the organizers, but also, for example, on the calendar, because if there is a post - Great or etc., then it is better to refrain from meat.

drinking alcoholic beverages allowed, but strongly discouraged. After all, it's a sin.

Solemn speech

So, 40 days after death. Wake. “What to say so as not to offend the deceased?” - and the panic interruption of the Internet begins in search of the most original toasts.

Usually a responsible person is appointed who is relatively in control of himself, and he thinks over his speech in advance. But at least a couple of words should be said by each of those present. Since they are at the wake on this sad day, it means that this person was dear to them. After each speech, it is important to observe a minute of silence - during it it is better to pray than to wind yourself up and, as a result, cry.

At the wake, you should not sing, recite a verse, dance (even under the pretext that the deceased herself loved to dance), etc. Seeing off a loved one on their last journey is, of course, a tragic event, but it is better to give it an areola of philosophy than tantrums .

Do not forget that there is church holidays commemoration - for example, Radonitsa, when it is worth going to the deceased in the cemetery and putting the grave in order.

Unfortunately, most people remember death only at someone's wake. But remember that you will still have the opportunity to meet the deceased face to face on the Last Judgment and, with good luck, in the Kingdom of Heaven. So the separation is only temporary, and it is better to spend the allotted time for the benefit of your own soul.

Death is grief and pain for the loved ones of the deceased. A natural consolation is the desire to help, to facilitate the transition to other facets of life for the deceased.

According to the Christian religion, the 40th day is considered the most important of all memorial days, because during this period the soul forever says goodbye to the earth and leaves it. Many organize commemorations for 40 days after death. What to say on this day and how to behave?

What is the meaning of the funeral ceremony

It is important to know that the essence of the funeral rite is to make the transition of the soul of a deceased person to another world painless, to help the soul stand before God, to feel peace and tranquility. And this is achieved through prayer. Everything that will be said about the deceased person on this day: good words, prayers, good memories and speeches will help the soul withstand God's judgment. Therefore, it is so important to observe all the traditions associated with this day, and to know how to hold a commemoration 40 days after death.

The main thing on this day is to pray. You can do it yourself, or you can invite a priest.

Christian traditions of commemoration of the dead on the 40th day

The rite of remembrance has been known since the very beginning of the birth of Christianity. The purpose of the ceremony is to give the soul of the departed to another world peace and tranquility, to help to know the eternal kingdom of heaven.

To do this, relatives, friends and relatives of the deceased should gather at the memorial table. When commemorations are organized for 40 days after the death, what to say to those present? It is believed that what more people remembers the deceased in his prayers, the better it will be for the soul of the one for whom they pray. On this day, it is customary to remember moments from the life of the deceased, focusing on his virtues and good deeds.

Life does not stand still, if earlier the commemoration was held in the house of the deceased, now it can be done in a restaurant or cafe. The traditions of Orthodoxy oblige to receive more people on this day than on day 9, because the soul leaves the earth, and not only relatives, but also everyone who wants to do this, must say goodbye to a person.

40 days after death, commemoration: what to say in a cemetery?

Visiting the grave of a deceased person is an obligatory part of the funeral ritual. Bring flowers and a candle with you. It is customary to carry a pair of flowers in the cemetery, even numbers are a symbol of life and death. Laying flowers - the most The best way show respect to the deceased.

Arriving, you should light a candle and pray for peace of mind, then you can just stand, be silent, remembering the good moments from the life of the deceased person.

Noisy conversations and discussions are not arranged at the cemetery, everything should take place in an atmosphere of calm and tranquility.

Commemoration for the fortieth in the church

Church commemoration is the mention of the name of the deceased during prayer at the Liturgy for the salvation of the soul and the eternal good of the commemorated. The ceremony is held after the relatives of the deceased submit a note "On the repose." It is important to know that in this note only the names of those who were baptized in the Orthodox Church are given.

For the relatives of the deceased the best view donations will be a candle for the deceased. At the moment of installing the candle, you need to pray for the repose of the soul, asking the Lord to forgive the voluntary and involuntary sins of the deceased person.

According to the canons of Orthodoxy, a commemoration (40 days after death) is not carried out before the deadline. If, nevertheless, by coincidence, it is necessary to carry out the ceremony on an earlier date, then on the following weekend after forty it is necessary to give alms. On the same day, hold a church commemoration.

Organization of the funeral table

The purpose of the memorial dinner is to remember the deceased person, pray for the repose of his soul, provide psychological support to those in need, thank people for their participation and help. You can’t arrange a dinner with the aim of impressing the guests with expensive and delicious dishes, boasting an abundance of dishes, or feeding you to satiety.

The main thing is not food, but uniting in grief and supporting those who are having a hard time. It is important to take into account the main rules of Christianity: restriction on the intake of alcoholic beverages, fasting and the presence of the simplest dishes on the table.

Do not take the wake as a feast. Large waste in this case is unjustified, it will be much more useful to direct financial investments to the field of charity.

If more than 40 days have passed since death, a commemoration can be held later if only the memorial table is moved. It is on the 40th day that you need to pray for the soul of the deceased.

Main dishes of the funeral table

When setting the table, it is advisable to give preference lenten dishes. Kutya should be at the head of the table. This is a porridge cooked from whole grains, with the addition of honey, nuts and raisins. The dish personifies the rebirth of the soul, symbolizes the blessings of eternal life.

The composition of the dishes mainly depends on the traditions of the family arranging the wake. Traditionally prepared: pancakes, pies, cereals, cabbage soup and kissel. Various snacks are acceptable: salads, vegetable or meat cuts. Among the first courses: borscht, noodles on chicken broth, beetroot. Garnish - buckwheat porridge, pilaf or puree. The church is against alcoholic beverages, in any case, their use should be limited.

If the commemoration coincided with the fast, then the meat should be exchanged for fish. Vinaigrette is perfect for salads. Let there be mushrooms, vegetables and fruits on the table. The main thing at the wake is to strengthen your strength in order to continue to tirelessly pray for the deceased.

How to prepare a memorial speech

Not a single commemoration is complete without a commemorative speech. Sometimes a presenter is invited specifically for this occasion, who will help to correctly arrange the order of speeches. If the presenter is absent, one of the close relatives should take over his role.

When a commemoration is arranged for 40 days after the death, the words spoken at the table should be distributed in accordance with a certain order of speakers. First, the closest relatives speak, then friends, and lastly acquaintances.

Don't rely too much on improvisation. This is a sad event, and people who have grief will listen to you. Brevity and accuracy are the main criteria for a memorial speech. Try to find time to practice at home, so you can decide where to keep silent and what to add.

Usually all the closest ones come to the wake (40 days after death). The speech delivered at the table should not consist of a biography of the deceased person, because there will be people who already know all the life stages of the deceased well. It is very good to tell about some fact from life that will serve as proof of the virtues of the deceased.

When a commemoration is being prepared for 40 days after the death, verses dedicated to the mourning event can be more useful than ever. They will help you tune in to a lyrical-tragic mood, contributing to the creation of an atmosphere of commemoration.

You can supplement your speech with a photograph of the deceased or a thing that belonged to him, which will prove to those present about how a good man was deceased. Avoid mentioning the deceased's mistakes, gossip and secrets. There is no place for such speeches at the memorial table.

Sample speech

Many think when they organize a commemoration for 40 days after the death: "What to say?" ... There is no established version of such a speech. The most important thing is to speak from the heart. But still there certain rules, using which you can prepare and speak correctly during the funeral rite.

You should start by greeting those present, followed by a story about who you are to the deceased. Say a few words about mourning and move on to a story about good sides the person who is remembered. If possible, remember the good times experienced together. It would be very appropriate to involve other people in the memories so that your story is supplemented with good memories. The speech ends with a promise to always remember the one who is remembered.

Still, you can commemorate a deceased person whenever you want. The main thing is to observe the basic rules of the funeral rite: prayer, almsgiving and good memories of the deceased.