Wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church: rules and preparation. Purity of soul and flesh: the most complete instruction on what you need for a church wedding

The buildings 15.10.2019
The buildings

The connection of two lives is a solemn and responsible moment. Today, many decide to formalize their marriage not only in the registry office, but also in the face of the Lord. What is needed for a church wedding, besides the desire of the young? Learn from our material.


Two unite in unity

Before deciding to get married, you need to understand:

  • Church marriage cannot be dissolved! There is no “debunking” in principle. The fact that some bishops go to meet people who have already divorced and live in other families is due to the weakness of modern “Christians”. This is done so that people do not fall into great sins. Therefore, we must realize that the wedding is forever!

Basic requirements for those who wish to get married in the church:

  • newlyweds must be baptized in the Orthodox Church (this can be done before the wedding);
  • people must enter into a civil marriage (in the registry office) - a certificate is required in many churches (if people are not permanent parishioners);
  • before the wedding, it is necessary to confess and receive communion.

This is the spiritual side. Also, in parishes where the parishioners are responsibly treated, the priest necessarily conducts a preliminary conversation with the young. He explains to them the whole meaning of this ceremony, which is not only a tribute to tradition. You should not get married just for the sake of beautiful photographs or because it is "so accepted." This is a profanation of the Sacrament.


What is needed for the ceremony

A wedding in the Orthodox Church is carried out according to certain rules. The procedure and the necessary prayers are recorded in a special book - the Trebnik, which the priest has. There is no need to worry about this, although it is necessary to understand which stage of the Sacrament is carried out.

Usually a donation is provided for such requests. Everything can be negotiated directly in the church. The "price" can vary greatly depending on the temple. Other costs will also be required.

  • The icons of the Savior and the Mother of God are needed so that parents bless their children with them.
  • Towel - according to the rules, in the church the young stand on a white towel.
  • Special candles for the bride and groom are usually sold in the shop.
  • Rings - used in the Orthodox wedding ceremony.

These are the highlights, everything else is prepared in the temple. It is important to decide on a date, to prepare spiritually for this event. You also need to decide how many singers there will be, they usually have to pay separately. Singers, as a rule, are not part of the staff of the church, but only come to services or services (weddings, funerals, baptisms).


Rite rules

A church wedding is held in accordance with the established procedure. It usually follows the Liturgy, where the young are to receive the Holy Communion. Before that, one should fast (fast), read certain prayers - there is about this. Such spiritual preparation is necessary in order to receive the sacrament of marriage with a pure soul.

Witnesses used to play more than just the role of crown-bearers. They vouched for the newlyweds, usually those who had known them for a long time. The guarantors took it upon themselves to look after the spiritual situation in the new union. After all, this is a small church, which was created with the aim of giving birth and raising children in piety. Therefore, the witnesses were people of considerable age with their own families. Today it is, rather, a tribute to tradition - the wedding will be held without witnesses.

According to the rules, the wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church begins with the betrothal. Previously, it was held separately, but now it is very rare to find such a thing. Young people stand in front of the doors of the temple, as in front of the Lord Himself. The priest introduces them to the church, as if the first people - to paradise, where they should lead a pure life.

  • The priest censes, sanctifying the young. He blesses the bride and groom, then gives them candles. After the blessing, one should be baptized. This is done three times.
  • The fire of candles is a symbol of love, pure and hot, which the spouses must nourish.
  • The deacon reads special litanies, which can be prayed for by all who come to the temple.
  • The priest reads a secret prayer for the newlyweds.

Then they bring the rings, which are put on with prayer first to the groom, then to the bride. Three times they will change them - as a sign that they now have everything in common. The ring is a sign of eternal union, readiness to sacrifice everything for the sake of a loved one (beloved). After the prayer, the betrothal ends and the wedding ceremony begins.

Continuing to hold candles, the young go to the center of the temple, a special psalm is sung. A couple stands on a towel, in front of them on a lectern (special stand) are crowns, the Gospel, a cross. Crowns in Orthodoxy mean not so much a triumph as a martyrdom. After all, it is not so easy to endure all the shortcomings of your spouse throughout your life, to be a support for your family, to support your “half”. Therefore, in the sacrament, special help from God is requested.

The priest will ask each in turn whether they have a voluntary desire to marry, you must answer in the affirmative. There is also the question of whether the heart was promised to someone else. In some churches, it is allowed to answer in Russian, and not in Church Slavonic. This is followed by three special prayers - one to Christ, two to the Triune God.

Only after this are the crowns taken (hence the name of the sacrament - wedding), with prayer they are laid on the young, the Holy Scriptures are read.

Then, after short prayers, both are given wine from the same cup. Also as a sign that a common life awaits the young now. Then the hands of the husband and wife are tied, they walk three times after the priest around the analogion.

The ceremony ends with the presentation of icons, instructions from the confessor. The meal, if she continues the service, should be decent, befitting a Christian title, without drunkenness, dancing, and wild merriment.

How to behave in the temple

There are unspoken rules of conduct in the church that should not be broken. The wedding ceremony is carried out "by order", but this does not mean that in front of you is a mummed toastmaster with a censer. One should not, imitating the "stars" of television, behave provocatively.

  • Witnesses and other participants in the ceremony should not forget that they are in the house of God. Laughter, conversations are inappropriate, if there is no desire to pray at all, it is better to leave the church altogether until the Liturgy is over. So at least you will not distract the parishioners who have come to pay their debt to the Lord.
  • The bride and groom must learn in advance the words that should be said during the ceremony. This is a simple respect not only for the priest, but also for God.
  • You should not shock others with your appearance - the bride's dress should be closed. Or you need to purchase a cape that would cover the shoulders, back and neckline. The lipstick must be wiped off before the start of the service.
  • Women should enter church with their heads covered, skirts should be below the knee. Too bright makeup is also inappropriate.

The beauty of the wedding ceremony should be forever remembered by the young, but also remind of the deep meaning of Christian marriage - love, patience, sacrifice. Such a test can be adequately endured only by being in the bosom of the Church, attending services, participating in the Sacraments. God bless you!

Wedding rules

A wedding in a church - the rules that are needed for the ceremony was last modified: July 8th, 2017 by Bogolub

Despite the fact that church marriage is not compulsory in Russia and the CIS countries, many couples decide to take this crucial step. And if some families sincerely want to conclude their marriage in heaven as a sign of confirmation of pure love and faith in God, others simply follow the fashion, including the sacrament in the wedding plan.

For whatever reason you decide to get married, the wedding portal site reminds you: be sure to follow the church rules for preparing for the sacrament!

Before the wedding: should there be a sacrament?

Before you start preparing for the wedding, you need to find out if the church will allow your couple to unite in church marriage. After all, there are prescribed taboos to the ceremony.

The wedding will not take place if:


If at least one of the above points takes place, alas, the church will not be able to bless your union.


Are there no obstacles for the sacrament? Then we offer you a little instruction in preparation for the wedding:


The wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church is held only if the couple has formalized the relationship. It doesn't matter if you decide to seal your union directly on the day of the celebration or years later, the church may be asked to provide a marriage certificate.



Confession and Communion before the wedding

The decision to get married should not be made spontaneously. Each couple should be sincerely confident in their intentions. An important role is assigned to the cleansing of the soul with the help of prayers, Confession and Communion.

The church will tell you the most detailed information on how to prepare for the rituals. Do not hesitate to ask questions of interest, because this will help avoid embarrassing situations directly during the rituals.




Before Communion and Confession one should fast. For three days, the newlyweds read prayers (the priest will tell you which ones), attend evening services, and refuse sexual relations for this period. You will have to exclude eggs, meat and dairy products from food.... All this must be observed before the preparatory ceremonies for the wedding.

One of the main tasks of the church is to help a person improve his own soul. Church teachings call to get rid of evil thoughts, empty and obscene words, to accept everything humbly and calmly.

As a rule, Confession and Communion take place immediately before the wedding. But this is not a requirement. The bride and groom can visit the church the day before and separately.

Each church rite is aimed at healing the human soul. And if you really decided to seal your relationship with Church marriage, then both should want it. And the groom. And the bride.

The Svadbagolik.ru portal advises only those couples who are sure of the strength and purity of love in the family to go to church. This can take years, or even decades, of a married life. But only then can you fully appreciate the depth and significance of the sacrament of the wedding. And you will treat the question of how to prepare for the wedding with maximum responsibility.

What are the goals of your couple? Answer this question sincerely to yourself: are you doing this because of fashion or is it still at the behest of your heart? After all, performing the sacrament of a wedding with pure thoughts, you protect your family from evil tongues and envious eyes, from unexpected troubles and empty quarrels.

Portal Les Noces.ws brings to your attention the general rules of weddings in the Orthodox Church, as well as interesting superstitions and omens. Consider every little thing at such a crucial moment!



Wedding in Orthodoxy: a little history

As we managed to find out, the wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church was carried out in Russia. And if now the church seals only officially registered couples with spiritual marriage, then earlier it was the other way around: newlyweds who were not married were not recognized as a family. The ancestors believed that only before God can one become a spouse.

Unfortunately, it is not realistic to track the changes in the Orthodox Church regarding the sacrament of the wedding. However, historians managed to distinguish two main points of the ceremony: the laying of wedding crowns on the heads of the spouses and the use of wedding veils on the territory of the Byzantine Empire. The crown and veils are a symbol of holy faith in the Most High.

The tradition of holding wedding candles appeared only in the X-XI centuries. In the same period, the ceremony began with the words "Christ crowns", but already in the 13th century a new tradition appeared to include the words "The servant of God is crowned" into the ceremony.


Wedding rules

Not only the newlyweds, but also the guests should observe the rules established by the church. If you doubt their knowledge in this matter, show concern and provide loved ones with the necessary information.


In most temples, the sacrament lasts about an hour. And, as a rule, the newlyweds and guests are forced to stand throughout the entire ceremony. Think about your loved ones, and tell them not only how to behave in the temple, but also think about how to entertain the guests who will be waiting for you outside the walls of the church.



What is needed for a church wedding: a complete list

To carry out the ceremony, a number of things are necessary, without which the sacrament simply will not take place.

So, what you need to get married in the church:


You can buy the necessary components separately or purchase a ready-made sacrament kit from the church shop. Everything listed above is needed for a church wedding, even if you have been married for a long time.

All about the wedding in signs

There is a persistent debate about how much it costs to listen to the signs concerning the church. Some insist that the church and superstitions categorically cannot intersect, others are sure that such signs did not appear out of nowhere. Which side will you take ?!


Good omens associated with the wedding:





Superstitions that should alert:

  1. Meeting of the funeral procession;
  2. A strong crackle of wedding candles is a sign of a hectic married life;
  3. If a crown fell from the head of one of the newlyweds, it means that he will soon become a widow.

After the wedding in the church, all the rules must be preserved all the attributes (candles, towels, handkerchiefs, etc.), it is important that they are kept in the house of the spouses and be hidden from prying eyes. Otherwise, next time you can visit the church with a view

A church wedding is a sacred ceremony that gives a husband and wife a church blessing for a happy family life, the birth of children. Many couples decide to host this beautiful and touching event. But in order for the ceremony to be not just a tribute to fashion, but to become a serious deliberate step, it is worth finding out its features.

Important conditions for a wedding

It is allowed to get married on the wedding day or after a time: a week, a month, years. The main thing is that all the conditions stipulated by the church are observed.

Who can get married

An important condition for the ceremony is the presence of a marriage certificate. In addition, the spouses must be baptized Orthodox Christians. However, in some cases, a wedding may be allowed if the spouse is a non-Orthodox Christian, provided that the children born in marriage will be baptized in Orthodoxy. It is also important to match the age of marriage: the bride must be 16 years old, the groom - 18. You should not be afraid of refusal if the wife is pregnant, because, according to the church, children should be born in a married marriage. The wedding can be carried out even if the spouses have not received the parental blessing, since it can be replaced by the blessing of the confessor.

There are not many restrictions for the sacrament of a wedding. The Church will not approve of the ceremony between unbaptized, atheists, blood relatives, as well as spiritual relatives, for example, between the godparents of a child, between a godfather and a godson. This ceremony is allowed to be performed no more than three times. It is also forbidden to get married if this is already your fourth officially registered marriage.

When is the ceremony permitted?

Often, newlyweds decide to get married on the day with the official registration of marriage. But, given that such a sacrament of Orthodoxy is a rather serious step, there is no need to rush into the ceremony: it can be postponed until the birth of a child or carried out after several years of official marriage.

This ceremony is not performed every day. The newlyweds are crowned 4 days a week on Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays. However, it should be borne in mind that there are 4 fasts throughout the year, during which church marriages are not concluded:
- Rozhdestvensky - lasts November 28 - January 6;
- Great - seven weeks before Orthodox Easter;
- Petrov - depends on the date of Easter, lasts from 8 to 42 days;
- Uspensky - lasts from 14 to 27 August.

Also, the church will refuse to hold a wedding on significant days:
- September 11 - Beheading of the head of John the Baptist;
- September 27 - Exaltation of the Cross of the Lord;
- from 7 to 19 January - Christmastide;
- on Shrovetide;
- for the Bright week (the week after Easter).

Even if the day you have chosen does not fall on the listed dates, it is still better to go to church to clarify everything with the priest. In addition, the bride must calculate that there are no “critical days” on the chosen date, since it is impossible to appear in the church at this time.

What should precede the wedding ceremony

It is necessary to prepare spiritually for this rite. This means that before the wedding, the bride and groom need to pray, confess, take communion, maintain a three-day fast (you must refrain from food of animal origin). Before marriage, newlyweds should not enter into a carnal relationship, and this condition also applies to a couple who decided to get married after several years of marriage. They need to refrain from close relationships for several days before the ceremony.

Preparation for the sacrament of the wedding

Choosing a church, communicating with a priest

To decide where to get married, you can walk through different temples and choose the church where you feel most comfortable. For a magnificent, solemn ceremony, a large cathedral is suitable, for a quiet, secluded ceremony - a small church. Since the priest is an important actor in the rite, it is worthwhile to take a responsible approach to his choice.

You must sign up for the wedding ceremony in advance (several weeks in advance). It is also worth discussing all questions with the priest in advance: the duration of the wedding, what you need to bring with you, whether it is possible to take photographs, etc. It is worth considering that this is a paid ceremony, but in some churches its exact cost is established, in others voluntary donations are provided. This issue is also worth discussing with the priest. Moreover, "additional services" are often provided, for example, bell ringing, a church choir.


Selection of guarantors

As a rule, two guarantors (witnesses) are chosen from relatives. It is worth considering that they must be baptized. It is not allowed to take divorced spouses, a couple living in an illegal, "civil" marriage as guarantors. Their spiritual responsibilities are similar to those of godparents: they must spiritually lead the family that is being created. Therefore, it is not customary to invite young people who are not familiar with married life as guarantors. If difficulties arose in the search for witnesses, it is allowed to conduct the sacrament of the wedding without them.

Choosing an outfit

  • Bride

    The bride's wedding dress should be no higher than the knees, should cover the shoulders and preferably hands, should not have a deep neckline (you can use long gloves, a cape, a bolero, an openwork shawl, a stole, etc.). It is advisable to give preference alongside light tones; dark and bright (purple, blue, black) should be discarded. Sundresses and trouser suits are not suitable for the ceremony. The bride's head must be covered. Considering that during the ceremony, church crowns (crowns) are worn on the young, you should not cover the bride's head with a large hat, as it will look out of place.

    Any footwear can be worn, however, when choosing it, it should be borne in mind that you will have to stand in it for a long time, so it is better to refuse uncomfortable heels. To decide on a hairstyle, it is advisable to check with the priest in advance, the crowns will be worn on the head or they will be held by guarantors. The bride's makeup should not be too noticeable, it is also worth remembering that it is forbidden to kiss the crown, cross, icon with painted lips.

    It is believed that a wedding dress cannot be given or sold. It must be kept together with christening gowns, wedding candles, icons.

  • Groom

    A formal suit will suit the groom for a wedding. There are no special prohibitions regarding the color of the costume. You should not come to church in casual, denim, sportswear. The groom should not have a headdress.

  • Guests

    Visitors entering the temple must comply with the requirements for all parishioners: for women - closed-type clothing, hats, trousers are undesirable, for men - strict clothes, without a headdress.

    In addition, all participants and those present at the wedding ceremony: the bride, groom, guarantors and guests, must wear crosses.

What to prepare for the ceremony

For the wedding you will need:
- rings that must be given to the priest before the ceremony for consecration;
- wedding candles;
- wedding icons (images of Christ and the Mother of God);
- a white towel-towel (the young will stand on it during the ceremony);
- two handkerchiefs (hold candles).

The towel, on which the bride and groom stood during the wedding in the church, symbolizes the road in life, so it must be kept and not given to anyone. You should also store wedding candles, which can be lit during difficult childbirth, illness of children.

Photographer's choice

It is important to take into account that not all churches are allowed to make videos or photographs of the wedding ceremony. Therefore, it is worth discussing this issue with the priest in advance. Considering that the lighting in churches is specific, it is advisable to choose a professional photographer who will take into account the nuances of shooting, will be able to choose the right angles, take high-quality pictures that convey the atmosphere of the temple and the grandeur of the wedding ceremony.

Wedding ceremony

This rite includes engagement and wedding... It is worth considering that during the ceremony, the priest must call the newlyweds by the names that were given to them at baptism (sometimes they differ from the names "in the world"). Betrothal takes place at the entrance to the church. The bride should be on the left of the groom. The priest blesses the young people and hands them lighted wedding candles, which must be kept until the end of the service. After the prayer, he changes the wedding rings three times from the man's hand to the woman's hand. After that, they become bride and groom.

Wedding is held in the center of the temple, where the bride and groom will stand on a white towel. During the ceremony, the priest reads prayers, the guarantors hold crowns over the heads of the newlyweds. After answering the questions of the priest, "Is the wedding done of free will?" "Are there any obstacles?" and reading prayers, the newlyweds become spouses before God. Now they can kiss the crowns and drink wine from the cup in three doses, which symbolizes family life with joys and sorrows. After the priest leads them around the lectern, brings them to the Royal Doors, the husband kisses the icon of Christ, and the wife - the Mother of God. Now guests can congratulate the married.

Remember that a wedding is not just a memorable, bright holiday, but also a very responsible step, which is worth taking once in a lifetime. Churchly divorce (debunk) spouses is possible only for serious reasons, with the permission of the diocese. Therefore, the unification of your life before God and the very sacrament of the wedding should be approached seriously, with understanding and taking into account all traditions and rules.

You will need

  • - marriage certificate;
  • - candles;
  • - icons of the Savior and the Mother of God;
  • - clothes;
  • - agreement with the priest in the church;
  • - white towel or boards, towel;
  • - money.

Instructions

Prepare for your wedding with fasting, prayer, communion, and repentance. On the day of the ceremony, you cannot eat, drink, smoke and have sexual relations. The prohibitions are due to the sacrament rite preceding the ceremony. The priest warns about this when you discuss the upcoming holiday.

Agree with the priest in the church for a specific time for the wedding. Best in the morning. This must be done at least three days before the event. Show your testimony to the priest. If you are planning a ceremony on the day of your wedding, show the document before starting the Sacrament. The ceremony is not performed on even days of the week, during fasting, on (Christmastide, Christmas, Great Lent, etc.)

Prepare two icons, the Savior and the Mother of God. Get two wedding candles, they are all sold in the temple. After the wedding, keep them with you, they should be kept all your life. The candles must be lit throughout the entire Sacrament, so they must be large enough.

Buy a white towel or board, towel. Young people stand on it during the wedding. The plate after the Sacrament remains in the temple.

You should not buy special clothes, it is important that they are clean, neat and modest enough. Wedding dresses are just a tradition. There are no strict guidelines on this in the Church.

You will not be able to get married if you are an atheist, have a close relationship with your spouse, one of the newlyweds has not been baptized, is officially married to another person, previously took a monastic vow or were ordained to the priesthood. They may not marry if there is a big age difference between the spouses, if the last marriage is the fourth or more.

Establish an obstacle, if there is one, for this, contact the archbishop, with his consent, you will be allowed to conduct the Sacrament. This applies to marriages between godfather and godson, age marriages when one of the spouses is much older than the other, as well as to marriages of Orthodox and Catholics or Protestants.

Unbaptized spouses can be admitted to the wedding only after baptism. If the previous marriage was consecrated by the Orthodox Church, before the re-wedding, it is necessary to obtain permission for divorce and new marriage from the archbishop. At the same time, he cannot conduct an inquiry about the motives for parting with his ex-spouse.

Invite family and friends. The priest who conducts the ceremony cannot be under canonical prohibition (i.e. must be a member of the Orthodox Church, have deep and firm faith, impeccable morality, mental and mental health. The absence of these qualities are canonical obstacles to the priesthood, which are determined by the rules of the saints Cathedrals). In addition, the canonical obstacles are: previously committed criminal offenses, mortal sins (fornication, adultery, greed, etc.), marriage with a divorced woman, monastic vows. If you wish, arrange photo and video filming. Book a restaurant or host a banquet at home. Celebrating a wedding is not prohibited.

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