Should a godmother be married? Is it possible for an unmarried girl to baptize children

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Few people know that only 30 years ago in our country they tried not to advertise baptism. Parents have always tried to baptize their children in secret, sometimes they even decided to invite a representative of the holy church home. But this is all in the past, in our time everything has become much easier. Now most parents baptize their children in crowded churches, and the very fact of baptism becomes a holiday.

During this time, a lot of myths and misconceptions related to the baptism of children have appeared. Here, for clarity, the most popular of them:

1. For a girl, only married woman. Otherwise, the girl will have a kind of “crown of celibacy”.

We are civilized people, this is a prejudice. It is more important here that the godmother be a true believer, not the one that runs to the temple on the first occasion, but the one that lives according to God's law and passes this principle on to the goddaughter. And it doesn’t matter what the mother’s position in society is.

Do you consider yourself a believer? But do you believe in omens?

It is normal for an unmarried girl to baptize your girl. After all, she becomes a godmother, and she understands that the responsibility of the purity of the soul of her goddaughter before God lies with her. A good godmother will always participate in the upbringing of the child entrusted to her, and together will become a support in life. And more importantly, in the event of an accident with her parents, she will forever become the most reliable parent for the baby.

The most important thing is that she is aware of the full extent of the responsibility for the child entrusted to her and once trusted rumors and superstitions.

2. After the ceremony, godmothers and fathers cannot marry each other? This sign grew into a saying: "Godfather with godfather, like brother and sister."

It is important to understand here that the Holy Church does indeed prohibit marriages: a) godfather and goddaughter, b) godmother and godson, c) godparents and the child's natural parents.

But the marriage of godparents is not directly prohibited. Catholics, for example, are quite loyal to such marriages. Like the Orthodox, in their understanding, there is nothing wrong if the lovers decided to get married, but before that they became godparents. It's just for the baby. Judge for yourself, if the godparents are a family, then it will be much easier for them to participate in the life of the child.

3. Godparents must be of the same religion in which the child is baptized.

For Catholics, one of the godparents in their faith is enough. But the Orthodox are convincingly insisting that both parents be Orthodox. Godparents are teachers of faith, and if their faith is different from the faith of the child, then contradictions are inevitable.

4. They must be ready for the baptism of the child.

Take, for example, Catholics, it is customary for them to hold explanatory conversations with parents about faith. But in Orthodoxy, everything is much more demanding, godparents must go through a series of interviews with a priest, as well as confess, take communion, and spend all the time left until christening to devote to prayers.

5. All the sins committed by the child leave an imprint on the godparents.

The opinion of Catholics on this question: “listen, the church is not a nuclear power plant, and baptism is not a rite of chain reaction.” Man is an individuality both for man and for God.

But the Orthodox believe that baptism is not the transfer of sins from one person to another, but an irrevocable cleansing by the power given by the Holy Spirit.

And yet, religion and superstition are different things, and they must be distinguished. If you consider yourself a true believer, then superstition is an empty phrase for you. You just need to listen to your heart and God.

An unmarried godmother can be a good support and an excellent mentor of faith.

The rite of baptism contains certain signs and superstitions. To be godparents means to carry a responsible burden. After all, the duty of such parents is to take care of the child and his upbringing. Great responsibility raises many questions. Among the frequently asked questions is: Why can't an unmarried girl baptize her first girl?? We will try to answer it in detail and learn about the features of the rite of baptism.

For some reason, men are never guided by superstitions, but emotionally malleable girls tend to obey popular superstitions, wisdom and signs.

Reasons why a girl should not be baptized by an unmarried girl

Considering the non-Orthodox reasons that girls often believe in, we note the following:

• 1st sign: a nulliparous and unmarried girl who baptizes a girl can take away happiness from her goddaughter;
• 2nd sign: an unmarried girl who has entered into the rite of the church sacrament of baptism can prevent her goddaughter from marrying in the future;
• 3rd sign: the fate of an unmarried godmother may in the future be reflected in the fate of the goddaughter.

There is also an opposite sign. If the first person to be baptized by an unmarried woman is a boy, then the girl’s life will be happy, and the future marriage will be strong.

It is up to you to decide whether or not to believe the superstitions associated with baptism. Refusing this honorable ceremony, you can offend the parents of the child. The sacrament of baptism is a special rite. Prejudice and superstition have no place here. Sometimes they help justify their own unsuccessful actions and mistakes.

The opinion of the Orthodox Church on the baptism of children by unmarried girls

Today, even the Orthodox Church has reached the question: “ why can't a girl be baptized by an unmarried girl? She considers such superstitions stupid and unfounded. Priests say that such girls during baptism will not harm either the health or the fate of the child. The only caveat that unmarried ladies need to take into account is that the godfather of the child should not be her future husband. The fact is that young people become related in the church, and relatives, based on Orthodox canons, are forbidden to enter into church marriage and get married. So beware of this moment.

What kind of girl can be a godmother?

When becoming a godmother, a girl must be brought up in the Orthodox faith and observe church customs. Age limits are not limited here. The main thing in this case understand all the responsibility that lies in guiding and instructing the godchildren on the spiritual path. If you feel ready for this, then boldly baptize the girl even when you are unmarried. Baptism will help not only the child, but also you will get closer to the spiritual world.

It is not worth looking for reasons in superstitions and signs to refuse the holy sacrament. Before baptism, you can consult with the priests and learn more about the features of the rite.

There are many signs and superstitions associated with the institution of godparents. Becoming godparents, it is necessary to take care of the child, if possible, try to take part in his upbringing, but no godparents can ever do without gifts. Why is there a sign that a girl cannot be baptized first. For men, such superstitions have no power and power, but more emotional women tend to take signs on faith and follow them. folk wisdom. Old signs and superstitions are intertwined here, that it is impossible not only to baptize the first girl, but also whether it is possible for nursing ones to drink milk, why it is impossible to sit on the table, why it is impossible to give certain things. The roots of these superstitions go back to hoary antiquity, but you can try to figure out what is terrible about the prohibition to baptize the first girl.

According to some beliefs, it is impossible to baptize if the future godmother is not married and has not yet given birth. It was believed that the goddaughter would take away future happiness from the godmother and she would not marry. There is also a belief that a girl can take over the fate of her godmother in the future. Therefore, those who are happily married should be chosen for this honorary role.

The next superstition says that if the first godson is a boy, then such a girl’s own fate will turn out happily in the future. Such friends who refuse to be godparents can seriously offend young parents, who may believe in omens, but the happiness of the child is more important to them.

An interesting belief from England can be read on the Internet. It turns out that in North and West England, this problem arose for a completely different reason. According to medieval English superstition, a girl cannot be baptized first because the witches flying around will give her the ability to take all the vegetation from the second baby - a boy, and he will be without a mustache and beard for the rest of his life, which in those days was considered a sign of Satan's assistant.

To believe in such signs or not, the parents decide. It is extremely shameful to refuse such an honorable mission as becoming a godmother to a child. After all, baptism is a sacred rite, and bad omens and superstitions are invented to justify own mistakes and failure. The Orthodox Church has never confirmed such superstitions, and not a single church minister will refuse to baptize a girl first, because it is the church that stands in the way of such signs. Therefore, you should not give up such an honorable right as becoming a godmother for fear of losing something in life. Baptism gives such positive energy that nothing bad can happen.

Do you believe in omens????

Any church sacraments in the minds of the people are associated with far-fetched and empty ancient reflections, superstitions and prejudices that have no connection. The word "superstition" is formed by two parts: " fuss» - « in vain" and " faith", which means " vain belief», « vain faith”, i.e. empty. It is extremely unreasonable to live by superstitions alone and attach great importance to them, especially in the performance of church sacraments. One of them is baptism - the beginning of the path of the immortal soul to eternal life, to God.

Why can't the first girl be baptized?

Various superstitions have come down to us that relate to the choice of a godmother (bozhatka). For example, it is believed that pregnant women should not be baptized, otherwise their child may die before being born, or not live long after birth.

Many have heard such a superstition that for a girl they did not call unmarried girls and women as godparents. unmarried? The people have several answers to this question:

1. Unmarried women can "give" their goddaughter their happiness.
2. So that the “crown of celibacy” did not go to the goddaughter, only married people were chosen as godparents.

In addition, due to the fact that the goddaughter "takes over" the fate of her godmother, only women who were happily married and satisfied with their fate were taken as godmothers.

Church opinion

Civilized, and even more so, believing people should not believe in prejudices. For a child, it does not matter what social position his godmother occupies. It is important that the recipient lives according to God's laws and passes on her spiritual knowledge.

English superstition

Similar superstitions about baptism exist not only in our country. The British, living in the north and west of the country, try not to baptize the girl before the boy. Why you can not baptize the first girl in England?

According to medieval belief, witches flying around a girl can take vegetation from a boy's face: a man's lack of facial hair - a mustache and beard, is a satanic sign, and the man himself is Satan's assistant.

The rite of baptism

The ritual of baptism existed long before the advent of Christianity, which borrowed it from ancient pagan beliefs. Baptism in ancient times "introduced" the newborn into the community, which protected its new member from enemies, evil forces and evil spirits. Basically, baptism took place immediately after birth: the midwife "sold" the child to future godparents, who carried him to church in order to "create a man." According to scientists, the rite of baptism in paganism has a ritual significance. According to him, the midwife is a pagan principle, nature, which “sculpts” the body, creates a form, and godparents are Christian, they give a name to a newborn and introduce him to the spiritual sphere. Through the joint efforts of the godparents and the midwife, a new person through the rite of baptism enters the community, society.

That is why baptism is considered the main rite of the beginning of life, as a result of which the child receives one more, spiritual, parents (grandparents) - godmother and godfather (for biological - godfather), who are responsible for the spiritual upbringing and piety of the godson before God. In addition, in Everyday life godparents act as protectors and wise advisers.

The meaning of the sacrament

As a result of baptism, the child is washed away from his original sin, and he appears clean before God. In addition, baptism allows a person in the future to become a godparent to another child, get married, take part in other church sacraments and others to pray for him.

Kumovya

We can say that the choice of godparents is a crucial moment in preparation for christening. The choice of godparents for baptism was based on good relationships between godfathers and parents. They tried to choose baptized people as godparents, kind, unglazed, with light hand who have everything going well in life. Take the child out of the font on light hand, it was considered to give him a long and happy life. An important point in the choice of godparents is the absence of marriage between them, both during christening and after them.

For baptism, it is enough to invite one of the godparents: a godfather for a boy, a godmother for a girl. Catholics do this, but in Orthodoxy, according to the Russian tradition, both are invited for the child.

What do godparents give?

For christening, the godfather gives a cross, and the godmother gives a baptismal shirt, a scarf and a kryzhma, on which she takes the child from the holy font.

According to the first ancient rites, the godfather paid for the christening, presented the midwife with money (“ransomed” the baby) and gave the mother of the child a chintz handkerchief.

When making a choice - to be a godmother or not, do not be guided by signs and superstitions. Don't think about the question Why you can not baptize the first girl ? Becoming a godmother is a sacred, honorable and responsible role. The Church does not recognize or confirm any existing superstition and stands firmly in their way. According to church canons, the godmother not only cannot lose anything, but on the contrary, she acquires positive energy by participating in a good deed. The role of the goddaughter is especially important for unmarried woman. After all, only by becoming a godmother, one can understand one's responsibility for the purity of the goddaughter's soul before God. A good godmother will take part in the upbringing of her godchildren, will become an adviser and support in life.

When deciding to become a godmother to a girl, remember that baptism is a good deed, and the role of a godmother is an honorary one, and God's grace will descend on your life.

What is Baptism? Why is it called a Sacrament? You will find comprehensive answers to all these questions in this article prepared by the editors of Pravmir.

The Sacrament of Baptism: Answers to Readers' Questions

Today I would like to tell the reader about the sacrament of Baptism and the godparents.

For ease of perception, I will offer the reader an article in the form of questions most often asked by people about Baptism and the answers to them. So the first question is:

What is Baptism? Why is it called a Sacrament?

Baptism is one of the seven sacraments of the Orthodox Church, in which the believer, when the body is immersed three times in water with the invocation of the name of the Most Holy Trinity - the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, dies to a sinful life, and is reborn by the Holy Spirit for Eternal Life. Of course, this action has a basis in Holy Scripture: "He who is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the kingdom of God" (John 3:5). Christ says in the Gospel: “Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved; but whoever does not believe will be condemned” (Mark 16:16).

So, baptism is necessary for a person to be saved. Baptism is a new birth for spiritual life, in which a person can reach the Kingdom of Heaven. And it is called a sacrament because through it, in a mysterious, incomprehensible way for us, the invisible saving power of God, grace, acts on the person being baptized. Like other sacraments, baptism is established by God. The Lord Jesus Christ himself, sending the apostles to preach the gospel, taught them to baptize people: “Go, make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit” (Matthew 28:19). Having been baptized, a person becomes a member of the Church of Christ and from now on can proceed to the rest of the sacraments of the Church.

Now that the reader has become acquainted with the Orthodox concept of baptism, it is appropriate to consider one of the most frequently asked questions related to the baptism of children. So:

Baptism of infants: is it possible to baptize infants, because they do not have an independent faith?

Quite right, young children do not have independent, conscious faith. But don't the parents who brought their child to be baptized in the temple of God have it? Will they not instill faith in God in their child from childhood? It is obvious that parents have such a faith, and most likely will instill it in their child. In addition, the child will also have godparents - godparents from the baptismal font, who vouch for him and undertake to raise their godchild in the Orthodox faith. Thus, infants are baptized not according to their own faith, but according to the faith of their parents and godparents who brought the child to baptism.

The New Testament baptism was typified by the Old Testament circumcision. V Old Testament On the eighth day, babies were brought to the temple for circumcision. By this, the child's parents showed their and his faith and belonging to God's chosen people. Christians can say the same about baptism in the words of John Chrysostom: "Baptism is the most obvious difference and separation of the faithful from the unbelievers." Moreover, there is a basis for this in the Holy Scriptures: “They were circumcised with the circumcision made without hands, by putting off the sinful body of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ; being buried with Him in baptism” (Col. 2:11-12). That is, baptism is a dying and burial for sin and a resurrection for a perfect life with Christ.

These reasons are enough to make the reader realize the importance of infant baptism. After that, the next question would be:

When should children be baptized?

There are no specific rules in this matter. But usually children are baptized on the 40th day after birth, although this can be done earlier or later. The main thing is not to postpone baptism for a long time unless absolutely necessary. It would be wrong to deprive a child of such a great sacrament for the sake of the circumstances.

An inquisitive reader may have questions regarding the days of baptism. For example, on the eve of multi-day fasts, the question most often heard is:

Is it possible to baptize children on fasting days?

Of course you can! But technically it doesn't always work. In some churches, during the days of Great Lent, they baptize only on Saturdays and Sundays. This practice is most likely based on the fact that weekday Lenten services are very long, and the intervals between morning and evening services can be short. On Saturdays and Sundays, divine services are somewhat shorter in time, and priests can devote more time to the requirements. Therefore, when planning the day of baptism, it is better to find out in advance about the rules observed in the temple where the child will be baptized. Well, if we talk about the days on which you can baptize, then there are no restrictions on this issue. You can baptize children on any day when there are no technical obstacles to this.

I have already mentioned that every person, if possible, should have godparents - godparents from the baptismal font. Moreover, they should be in children who are baptized according to the faith of their parents and godparents. The question arises:

How many godparents should a child have?

Church rules prescribe to have a godparent for the child of the same sex as the person being baptized. That is, for a boy - a man, and for a girl - a woman. In tradition, both godparents are usually chosen for the child: father and mother. This does not contradict the canons in any way. It will also not be a contradiction if, if necessary, the child has a godfather of a different sex than the baptized person himself. The main thing is that it should be a truly believing person who would subsequently conscientiously fulfill his duties of raising a child in the Orthodox faith. Thus, a baptized person can have one or, at most, two godparents.

Having dealt with the number of godparents, the reader will most likely want to know:

What are the requirements for godparents?

The first and main requirement is the undoubted Orthodox faith of the recipients. Godparents must be church-going people, living the church life. After all, they will have to teach their godson or goddaughter the basics Orthodox faith to give spiritual guidance. If they themselves are ignorant of these matters, what will they be able to teach the child? The godparents have a huge responsibility for the spiritual upbringing of their godchildren, for they, together with their parents, are responsible for it before God. This responsibility begins with the renunciation of "Satan, and all his works, and all his angels, and all his ministry, and all his pride." Thus, the godparents, answering for their godson, make a promise that their godchild will be a Christian.

If the godson is already an adult and pronounces the words of renunciation himself, then the godparents present at the same time become guarantors before the Church in the fidelity of his words. Godparents are obliged to teach their godchildren to resort to the saving Sacraments of the Church, mainly confession and communion, they must give them knowledge about the meaning of worship, the features church calendar, about the grace-filled power miraculous icons and other shrines. The godparents must accustom those taken from the font to attend church services, fast, pray, and observe other provisions of the church charter. But the main thing is that godparents should always pray for their godson. Obviously, strangers cannot be godparents, for example, some kind-hearted grandmother from the temple, whom her parents persuaded to “hold” the baby at baptism.

But also, you should not take as godparents just close people or relatives who do not meet the spiritual requirements that were outlined above.

Godparents should not become an object of personal gain for the parents of the baptized. The desire to intermarry with a profitable person, for example, with a boss, often guides parents when choosing godparents for a child. At the same time, forgetting about the true purpose of baptism, parents can deprive the child of a real godfather, and impose on him one who subsequently will not care at all about the spiritual upbringing of the child, for which he himself will also answer to God. Unrepentant sinners and people leading an immoral lifestyle cannot become godparents.

Some of the details of baptism include the following question:

Is it possible for a woman to become a godmother on the days of the monthly cleansing? What to do if it did happen?

On such days, women should refrain from participating in church sacraments, which include baptism. But if this did happen, then it is necessary to repent at confession.

Perhaps someone reading this article will become a godfather in the near future. Realizing the importance of the decision being made, they will be interested in:

How do future godparents prepare for baptism?

There are no special rules for preparing recipients for baptism. At some churches, special talks are held, the purpose of which is usually to explain to a person all the provisions of the Orthodox faith regarding baptism and acceptance. If there is an opportunity to attend such conversations, then it is necessary to do this, because. this is very helpful for future godparents. If the future godparents are sufficiently churched, they constantly confess and take communion, then attending such conversations will be a completely sufficient measure of preparation for them.

If potential recipients themselves are not yet sufficiently churched, then a good preparation for them will be not only acquiring the necessary knowledge about church life, but also studying the Holy Scriptures, the basic rules of Christian piety, as well as a three-day fast, confession and communion before the sacrament of baptism. There are several other traditions regarding recipients. Usually the godfather takes care of the payment (if any) of the baptism itself and the purchase pectoral cross for your godson. Godmother buys a baptismal cross for the girl, and also brings the things necessary for baptism. Typically, a christening kit includes a baptismal shirt, a sheet and a towel.

But these traditions are not binding. Often in different regions and even individual churches have their own traditions, the implementation of which is strictly monitored by parishioners and even priests, although they do not have any dogmatic and canonical grounds. Therefore, it is better to learn more about them in the temple in which baptism will take place.

Sometimes one hears a purely technical question related to baptism:

What should godparents give for baptism (godson, godson's parents, priest)?

This question does not lie in the spiritual realm, regulated by canonical rules and traditions. But, it seems that the gift should be useful and remind of the day of baptism. Useful gifts on the day of baptism there could be icons, the Gospel, spiritual literature, prayer books, etc. In general, in church shops you can now find a lot of interesting and soulful things, so acquiring a worthy gift should not be a big difficulty.

Enough frequently asked question, asked by unchurched parents, there is a question:

Can non-Orthodox Christians or Gentiles become godparents?

It is quite obvious that they are not, because they will not be able to teach their godson the truths of the Orthodox faith. Not being members of the Orthodox Church, they cannot take part in church sacraments at all.

Unfortunately, many parents do not ask about this in advance and, without any remorse, invite non-Orthodox and Gentile godparents to their children. At baptism, of course, no one talks about this. But then, having learned about the inadmissibility of the deed, the parents run to the temple, asking:

What should I do if this happened by mistake? Is baptism valid in this case? Should a child be baptized?

First of all, such situations show the extreme irresponsibility of parents when choosing godparents for their child. Nevertheless, such cases are not uncommon, and they occur among unchurched people who do not live a church life. An unequivocal answer to the question "what to do in this case?" it is impossible to give, because there is nothing of the kind in the church canons. This is not surprising, since canons and rules are written for members of the Orthodox Church, which cannot be said about heterodox and non-believers. Nevertheless, as a fact, baptism took place, and it cannot be called invalid. It is legal and valid, and the baptized one has become a full-fledged Orthodox Christian, because. was baptized by an Orthodox priest in the name of the Holy Trinity. No rebaptism is required; there is no such concept at all in the Orthodox Church. A person is born once physically, he cannot repeat it again. Similarly, only once a person can be born for spiritual life, so there can be only one baptism.

I will allow myself small digression and I will tell the reader how once I had to witness one not very pleasant scene. A young married couple brought their newborn son to the temple for baptism. The couple worked in a foreign company and invited one of their colleagues, a foreigner, a Lutheran, to become godfather. True, a girl of the Orthodox faith was supposed to become a godmother. Neither parents nor future godparents were distinguished by special knowledge in the field of Orthodox dogma. The news of the impossibility of having a Lutheran as godfather of their son was received with hostility by the child's parents. They were asked to find another godfather or to baptize the child with one godmother. But this proposal angered the father and mother even more. The stubborn desire to see this particular person as the successor prevailed over the common sense of the parents and the priest had to refuse to baptize the child. So the illiteracy of the parents became an obstacle to the baptism of their child.

Thank God that such situations no longer occurred in my priestly practice. The curious reader may well assume that there may be some obstacles to receiving the sacrament of baptism. And he will be absolutely right. So:

In what case can a priest refuse a person to be baptized?

Orthodox believe in God the Trinity - Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The founder of the Christian faith was the Son - the Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, a person who does not accept the divinity of Christ and does not believe in the Holy Trinity cannot be an Orthodox Christian. Also, a person who denies the truths of the Orthodox faith cannot become an Orthodox Christian. The priest has the right to refuse baptism to a person if he is going to accept the sacrament as some kind of magical rite or has some pagan belief regarding baptism itself. But this is a separate issue and I will touch on it later.

A very common question about receivers is the question:

Can spouses or those who are about to get married become godparents?

Yes they can. Contrary to popular belief, there is no canonical prohibition for spouses or those about to get married to be godparents to one child. There is only a canonical rule that prohibits the godfather from marrying the child's mother. The spiritual relationship established between them through the sacrament of baptism is higher than any other union, even marriage. But this rule does not affect the possibility of marriage of godparents or the possibility of spouses to become godparents.

Sometimes unchurched parents of children, wanting to choose godparents for their children, ask the following question:

Can people living in a civil marriage become godparents?

At first glance, this is a rather complicated issue, but from the ecclesiastical point of view, it is resolved unambiguously. Such a family cannot be called complete. And in general it is impossible to call prodigal cohabitation a family. After all, in fact, people living in the so-called civil marriage live in fornication. It's a big trouble modern society. People baptized in the Orthodox Church, at least conscious of themselves as Christians, for some incomprehensible reasons, refuse to legitimize their union not only before God (which is undoubtedly more important), but also before the state. There are countless answers to be heard. But, unfortunately, these people simply do not want to understand that they are looking for any excuses for themselves.

For God, the desire to “get to know each other better” or “unwillingness to stain the passport with unnecessary stamps” cannot be an excuse for fornication. In fact, people living in a “civil” marriage trample on all Christian concepts about marriage and family. Christian marriage implies the responsibility of spouses for each other. During the marriage, they become one, and not two different people who made a promise to live under the same roof from now on. Marriage can be compared to two legs of one body. If one leg stumbles or breaks, won't the other leg bear the full weight of the body? And in a "civil" marriage, people do not even want to take responsibility for putting a stamp in their passport.

What then can be said about such irresponsible people, who at the same time want to be godparents? What good can they teach a child? Can they, having very shaky moral foundations, be able to set a good example for their godson? Not at all. Also, according to church canons, people leading an immoral life (“civil” marriage should be regarded in this way) cannot be recipients from the baptismal font. And if these people finally decide to legitimize their relationship before God and the state, then they, moreover, will not be able to be godparents to one child. Despite the apparent complexity of the question, there can be only one answer to it - unambiguously: no.

The topic of gender relations is always very acute in all areas of human life. It goes without saying that this translates into various issues that are directly related to baptism. Here is one of them:

Can a young man (or girl) become a godfather for his bride (groom)?

In this case, they will have to terminate their relationship and limit themselves to only a spiritual connection, because. in the sacrament of baptism, one of them will become the godparent of the other. Can a son marry his own mother? Or a daughter to marry her own father? It is quite obvious that it is not. Of course, church canons cannot allow such a thing to happen.

Much more often than others there are questions about the possible perception of close relatives. So:

Can relatives become godparents?

Grandfathers, grandmothers, uncles and aunts may well become godparents to their little relatives. There is no contradiction to this in church canons.

Can an adoptive father (mother) become a godfather to an adopted child?

According to Canon 53 of the VI Ecumenical Council, this is unacceptable.

Based on the fact that spiritual kinship is established between godparents and parents, an inquisitive reader may ask the following question:

Can the parents of a child become godparents of their godfathers (their godchildren)?

Yes, this is perfectly acceptable. Such an action in no way violates the spiritual kinship established between parents and recipients, but only strengthens it. One of the parents, for example, the mother of the child can become the godmother of the daughter of one of the godfathers. And the father may well be the godfather of the son of another godfather or godfather. There are other options, but, in any case, the spouses cannot become the recipients of one child.

Sometimes people ask this question:

Can a priest be a godfather (including one who performs the sacrament of baptism)?

Yes maybe. In general, this question is very urgent. From time to time I have to hear a request to become a godfather from people completely unfamiliar to me. Parents bring their child to be baptized. For some reason it wasn't found godfather for a child. They begin to ask to become a godfather to the child, motivating this request by the fact that they heard from someone that in the absence of a godfather, the priest must fulfill this role. You have to refuse and baptize with one godmother. A priest is a person like everyone else, and he may well refuse strangers be godfather to their child. After all, he will have to bear the responsibility for raising his godchild. But how can he do this if he sees this child for the first time and is completely unfamiliar with his parents? And will most likely never see it again. Obviously this is not possible. But a priest (even if he himself will perform the sacrament of baptism) or, for example, a deacon (and the one who will concelebrate with the priest for the sacrament of baptism) may well become godparents for the children of their friends, acquaintances or parishioners. There are no canonical barriers to this.

Continuing the theme of reception, one cannot help but recall such a phenomenon as the desire of parents due to some, sometimes completely incomprehensible, reasons to “take a godfather in absentia”.

Is it possible to take a godfather "in absentia"?

The very meaning of reception presupposes the acceptance by the godfather of his godson from the font itself. By his presence, the godfather agrees to be the recipient of the baptized and undertakes to educate him in the Orthodox faith. This cannot be done in absentia. In the end, the person whom they are trying to “record in absentia” as godparents may not agree to this action at all, and, as a result, the person being baptized may be left without a godfather at all.

Sometimes from parishioners you have to hear questions about the following:

How many times can a person become a godfather?

In the Orthodox Church there is no clear canonical definition as to how many times a person can become a godfather during a lifetime. The main thing that a person who agrees to become a recipient should remember is a great responsibility for which he will have to answer before God. The measure of this responsibility determines how many times a person will be able to take on the reception. For each person, this measure is different and, sooner or later, a person may have to give up a new perception.

Is it possible to refuse to become a godfather? Wouldn't that be a sin?

If a person feels internally unprepared or has a reasonable fear that he will not be able to conscientiously fulfill his duties godparent, then he may well refuse the child's parents (or the baptized person himself, if it is an adult) to become their child's godfather. There is no sin in this. It will be more honest in relation to the child, his parents and himself than, having taken responsibility for the spiritual upbringing of the child, not fulfilling his immediate duties.

Continuing this topic, here are a few more questions that people usually ask about the number of possible godchildren.

Can I become a godfather to the second child in the family, if I already had one with the first?

Yes, you can. There are no canonical barriers to this.

Is it possible for one person during baptism to be the recipient of several people (for example, twins)?

There are no canonical restrictions on this. But technically it can be quite difficult if babies are being baptized. The recipient will have to hold and receive both babies from the font at the same time. It would be better if each godson had his own godparents. After all, each of those who are baptized individually is different people entitled to their godfather.

Probably, many will be interested in the following question:

At what age can you become a foster child?

Underage children cannot become godparents. But, even if a person has not yet reached the age of majority, then his age should be such that he can realize the full burden of the responsibility taken upon himself, and will conscientiously fulfill his duties as a godfather. It seems that this may be the age close to adulthood.

The relationship between the child's parents and godparents also plays an important role in the upbringing of children. It is good when parents and godparents have spiritual unity and direct all their efforts towards the proper spiritual upbringing of their child. But human relations are not always cloudless, and sometimes one has to hear such a question:

What to do if you quarreled with the parents of your godson and for this reason you cannot see him?

The answer suggests itself: to make peace with the parents of the godson. For what can a child be taught by people who have a spiritual relationship and at the same time are at enmity with each other? It is worth thinking not about personal ambitions, but about raising a child and, having gained patience and humility, try to establish relations with the godson's parents. The same can be said for the parents of the child.

But a quarrel is not always the reason that the godfather cannot see the godson for a long time.

What to do if, due to objective reasons, you do not see your godson for years?

I think that objective reasons- this is the physical distance of the godfather from the godson. This is possible if the parents moved with the child to another city, country. In this case, it remains only to pray for the godson and, if possible, communicate with him with the help of all available funds connections.

Unfortunately, some godparents, having christened the baby, completely forget about their immediate duties. Sometimes the reason for this is not only the elementary ignorance of the recipient about his duties, but his falling into grave sins that make their own spiritual life very difficult. Then the parents of the child involuntarily raise a completely legitimate question:

Is it possible to refuse godparents who do not fulfill their duties, who have fallen into serious sins or lead an immoral lifestyle?

The rite of refusal of godparents Orthodox Church does not know. But parents can find an adult who, not being the actual recipient from the font, would help in the spiritual upbringing of the child. At the same time, one cannot consider him a godfather.

But having such an assistant is better than depriving the child of communication with a spiritual mentor and friend altogether. After all, a moment may come when the child begins to seek spiritual authority not only in the family, but also outside it. And at this moment such an assistant would be very helpful. And a child, as they grow older, can be taught to pray for the godfather. After all, the spiritual connection of a child with the person who took him from the font will not be broken if he takes responsibility for a person who himself has not coped with this responsibility. It happens that children surpass their parents and mentors in prayer and piety.

Prayer for a sinner or a stray will be a manifestation of love for this person. After all, it is not for nothing that the Apostle James says in his epistle to Christians: “Pray for one another that you may be healed; the fervent prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much” (James 5:16). But all these actions must be coordinated with your confessor and receive a blessing on them.

And here's another one interest Ask, periodically asked by people:

When is there no need for godparents?

There is always a need for godparents. Especially for children. But not every adult baptized can boast of a good knowledge of the Holy Scriptures and church canons. If necessary, an adult can be baptized without godparents, because. he has a conscious faith in God and can quite independently pronounce the words of renunciation of Satan, combine with Christ and read the Creed. He is fully accountable for his actions. The same cannot be said for babies and young children. The godparents do it all for them. But, in case of extreme need, you can baptize a child without godparents. Such a need, of course, can be the complete absence of worthy godparents.

Godless time has left its mark on the destinies of many people. The result of this was that some people, after long years of unbelief, finally gained faith in God, but when they came to the temple, they did not know whether they had been baptized in childhood by believing relatives. A logical question arises:

Is it necessary to baptize a person who does not know for sure whether he was baptized in childhood?

According to Canon 84 of the VI Ecumenical Council, such people must be baptized if there are no witnesses who could confirm or deny the fact of their baptism. In this case, a person is baptized, pronouncing the formula: “If not baptized, the servant (slave) of God is baptized ...”.

Something I'm all about children and about children. Among the readers, perhaps, there are also such people who have not yet been honored with the saving sacrament of baptism, but with all their hearts strive for it. So:

What does a person who is preparing to become an Orthodox Christian need to know? How can he prepare for the sacrament of baptism?

A person's knowledge of faith begins with the reading of the Holy Scriptures. Therefore, a person who wants to be baptized, first of all, needs to read the Gospel. After reading the Gospel, a person may have a number of questions that require a competent answer. Such answers can be obtained at the so-called catechumens, which are held in many temples. At such conversations, the fundamentals of the Orthodox faith are explained to those who wish to be baptized. If there are no such conversations at the temple in which the person is going to be baptized, then you can ask all the questions of interest to the priest in the temple. It will also be useful to read some books that explain Christian dogmas, such as the Law of God. It will be good if, before accepting the sacrament of baptism, a person memorizes the Creed, in which briefly the Orthodox dogma about God and the Church is presented. This prayer will be read at baptism, and it would be great if the person being baptized himself confessed his faith. Direct preparation begins a few days before baptism. These days are special, so you should not scatter your attention on other, even very important, problems. It is worth devoting this time to spiritual and moral reflections, avoiding fuss, empty talk, participation in various entertainments. It must be remembered that baptism, like the other sacraments, is great and holy. It must be approached with the greatest awe and reverence. It is advisable to observe a fast for 2-3 days, living in marriage on the eve of the night to refrain from marital relations. You need to be extremely clean and tidy for baptism. You can wear new fancy clothes. Women should not wear make-up, as they always do when visiting a temple.

There are many superstitions associated with the sacrament of baptism, which I would also like to touch on in this article. One of the most common superstitions is:

Can a girl be the first to baptize a girl? They say that if a girl is baptized first, and not a boy, then the godmother will give her happiness ...

This statement is also a superstition that has no basis either in the Holy Scriptures or in church canons and traditions. And happiness, if it is deserved before God, will not go anywhere from a person.

Another odd thought I've heard over and over again:

Can a pregnant woman become a godmother? Would this affect her own child or godson in some way?

Of course you can. Such a delusion has nothing to do with church canons and traditions and is also superstition. Participation in church sacraments can only be to the benefit of the expectant mother. I also had to baptize pregnant women. Babies were born strong and healthy.

A lot of superstitions are associated with the so-called crossing. Moreover, the reasons for such a crazy action are sometimes indicated very bizarre and even funny. But most of of these justifications are pagan and occult in origin. Here, for example, is one of the most common superstitions of occult origin:

Is it true that in order to remove the damage induced on a person, it is necessary to re-baptize, and keep the new name a secret so that new attempts at witchcraft do not work, because. conjure precisely in the name?

To be honest, hearing such statements, I want to laugh heartily. But, unfortunately, it's not funny. What kind of pagan denseness does an Orthodox person need to reach in order to decide that baptism is a kind of magical ritual, a kind of antidote for corruption. An antidote for some vague substance that no one even knows the definition of. What is this ghostly corruption? It is unlikely that anyone who is so afraid of her will be able to clearly answer this question. This is not surprising. Instead of looking for God in life and fulfilling His commandments, the "church" people with enviable zeal are looking for the mother of all evils in everything - damage. And where does it come from?

I will allow myself a small lyrical digression. A man is walking down the street, stumbled. All - jinxed! We urgently need to run to the temple to put a candle so that everything is fine and the evil eye passes. While walking to the temple, he stumbled again. Looks like they not only jinxed it, but also caused damage! Ooh, wicked! Well, nothing, now I will come to the temple, I will pray, I will buy candles, I will stick all the candlesticks, I will fight the corruption with all my might. The man ran to the temple, on the porch he again stumbled and fell. Everyone - lie down and die! Damage to death, a family curse, well, and there is some kind of disgusting thing there, I forgot the name, but also something very terrible. Cocktail "three in one"! Against this, candles and prayer will not help, this is a serious matter, an ancient voodoo spell! There is only one way out - to be baptized again, and only with a new name, so that when these very voodoo whispered their old name and stuck needles into dolls, all their spells flew by. They will not know the new name. And all witchcraft is done in the name, didn’t you know? What fun it will be when they whisper and conjure intensely there, and everything will fly by! Bang, bang and - by! Oh, it's good when there is baptism - a cure for all diseases!

This is how superstitions associated with re-baptism appear. But much more often, the sources of these superstitions are the figures of the occult sciences, i.e. fortunetellers, psychics, healers and other "gifted by God" personalities. These tireless "generators" of newfangled occult terminology use all sorts of tricks to seduce a person. Birth curses, and crowns of celibacy, and karmic knots of fate, translations, love spells with lapels and other occult nonsense are used. And all that needs to be done to get rid of all this is to cross yourself. And there was no damage. And laughter and sin! But many peck at these near-church tricks of "mothers Glafir" and "fathers Tikhonov", and run to the temple for re-baptism. It’s good if they tell them where they have such an ardent desire to cross themselves, and they will be denied this blasphemy, having previously explained what trips to the occultists are fraught with. And some do not even say that they have already been baptized and are baptized again. There are also those who are baptized several times, because. previous baptisms "didn't help". And they won't help! Greater blasphemy over the sacrament is difficult to imagine. After all, the Lord knows the heart of a person, knows about all his thoughts.

It is worth saying a few words about the name, which is so advised to change " good people". A person is given a name on the eighth day from birth, but since many do not know about this, basically a prayer for naming is read by a priest immediately before baptism. Surely everyone knows that the name is given to a person in honor of one of the saints. And it is this saint who is our patron and intercessor for us before God. And, of course, it seems that every Christian should call on his saint as often as possible and ask for his prayers before the throne of the Almighty. But what actually happens? Not only does a person neglect his name, but he also neglects his saint, in whose honor he is named. And instead of calling for help from his heavenly patron, his saint, at the moment of trouble or danger, he visits fortune-tellers and psychics. The “reward” for this will be appropriate.

There is another superstition related directly to the sacrament of baptism itself. Almost immediately after baptism, the rite of hair cutting follows. At the same time, the recipient is given a piece of wax, in which it is supposed to roll the cut hair. This wax receiver must throw into the water. This is where the fun begins. Not sure where the question comes from:

Is it true that if wax with cut hair sinks at baptism, then the life of the person being baptized will be short?

No, this is a superstition. According to the laws of physics, wax cannot sink in water at all. But if you throw it from a height with sufficient force, then at the first moment it will really go under water. Fortunately, if the superstitious godfather does not see this moment and "fortune telling on baptismal wax" will give a positive result. But, as soon as the godfather notices the moment the wax is immersed in water, lamentations immediately begin, and the newly-made Christian is almost buried alive. After that, it is sometimes difficult to get out of a state of terrible depression the parents of a child who are told about the “sign of God” seen at baptism. Of course, this superstition has no basis in church canons and traditions.

Summing up, I would like to note that baptism is a great sacrament, and the approach to it should be reverent and deliberate. It is sad to see people who have received the sacrament of baptism and continue to live their former sinful lives. Having been baptized, a person must remember that now he is - Orthodox Christian, warrior of Christ, member of the Church. It owes a lot. First of all, to love. Love for God and neighbor. So let each of us, regardless of when he was baptized, fulfill these commandments. Then we can hope that the Lord will lead us into the Kingdom of Heaven. That Kingdom, the path to which the sacrament of Baptism opens for us.