How to choose godparents for a child: rules, tips, duties of godparents, what godparents need to know. Who can and cannot be a godfather, godmother at baptism for a boy and a girl? How old and how many times can you be a godfather, godmother

Godparents: Who Can Become a Godparent? What do godmothers and godfathers need to know? How many godchildren can you have? Answers in the article!

Briefly:

• The godfather, or godfather, must be Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be a Catholic, a Muslim, or a very good atheist, because main duty godfather - to help the child grow up in the Orthodox faith.
• The godfather must be church man, ready to regularly take the godson to the temple and monitor his Christian upbringing.
• After the baptism is done, godfather cannot be changed, but if the godfather has changed a lot for the worse, the godson and his family should pray for him.
• Pregnant and unmarried women CAN to be godparents for both boys and girls - do not listen to superstitious fears!
• Godparents cannot be the father and mother of the child, as well as a husband and wife cannot be godparents for one child. other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.

Many of us were baptized as infants and no longer remember what happened. And then one day we are invited to become a godmother or godfather, or maybe even happier - our own child is born. Then we think again about what the Sacrament of Baptism is, whether we can become godparents for someone and how we can choose godparents for our child.

Replies Prot. Maxim Kozlov to questions about the duties of godparents from the site “Tatiana's Day“.

- I was invited to become a godfather. What will I have to do?

– Being a godfather is both an honor and a responsibility.

The godmother and father, participating in the Sacrament, take responsibility for the little member of the Church, so they must be Orthodox people. Of course, a godfather should become a person who also has some experience in church life and will help parents raise a baby in faith, piety and purity.

During the performance of the Sacrament over the baby, the godfather (of the same gender as the child) will hold him in his arms, pronounce on his behalf the Creed and vows of renunciation of Satan and union with Christ. Read more about the procedure for performing Baptism.

The main thing in which the godfather can and should help and in which he undertakes is not only to be present at Baptism, but also then to help those received from the font grow, strengthen in church life, and in no case limit your Christianity to the fact of Baptism alone. According to the teachings of the Church, for how we have taken care of the fulfillment of these duties, we will be asked the same on the day of the last judgment, as well as for the upbringing of our own children. Therefore, of course, the responsibility is very, very big.

- And what to give to the godson?

- Of course, you can give your godson a cross and a chain, no matter what they are made of; the main thing is that the cross should be of the traditional form adopted in the Orthodox Church.

In the old days, there was a traditional church gift for christening - this is a silver spoon, which was called a "gift for a tooth", it was the first spoon that was used when feeding a child, when he started eating from a spoon.

How do I choose godparents for my child?

– Firstly, the godparents must be baptized, churched Orthodox Christians.

The main thing is that the criterion for your choice of a godfather or godmother should be whether this person can subsequently help you in a good, Christian upbringing received from the font, and not only in practical circumstances. And of course, important criterion there must be a degree of our acquaintance and simply the friendliness of our relations. Think about whether the godparents you choose will be the child's church educators or not.

Is it possible for a person to have only one godparent?

- Yes it is possible. It is only important that the godparent be of the same gender as the godson.

- If one of the godparents cannot be present at the Sacrament of Baptism, is it possible to perform the ceremony without him, but write him down as a godparent?

- Until 1917, there was a practice of absentee godfathers, but it was applied only to members of the imperial family, when they, as a sign of royal or grand ducal mercy, agreed to be considered godparents of one or another baby. If it's a similar situation, do it, and if not, it's probably best to go with common practice.

- Who can't be a godfather?

- Of course, non-Christians - atheists, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, and so on, cannot be godparents, no matter how close friends of the child's parents and no matter how pleasant people they are in communication.

An exceptional situation - if there are no close people close to Orthodoxy, and you are sure of the good morals of a non-Orthodox Christian - then the practice of our Church allows one of the godparents to be a representative of another Christian confession: Catholic or Protestant.

According to the wise tradition of the Russian Orthodox Church, a husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. Therefore, it is worth considering if you and the person with whom you want to start a family are invited to become sponsors.

- And which of the relatives can be a godfather?

– An aunt or an uncle, a grandmother or a grandfather can become the godparents of their little relatives. It should only be remembered that a husband and wife cannot be godparents of one child. However, it is worth thinking about this: our close relatives will still take care of the child, help us raise him. In this case, do we not deprive the little person of love and care, because he could have one or two adult Orthodox friends to whom he could turn throughout his life. This is especially important at a time when the child is looking for authority outside the family. The godfather at this time, in no way opposing himself to his parents, could become the person whom the teenager trusts, from whom he asks for advice even about what he does not dare to tell his relatives.

Is it possible to refuse godparents? Or to baptize a child for the purpose of a normal upbringing in the faith?

- In any case, a child cannot be re-baptized, because the Sacrament of Baptism is performed once, and no sins of either the godparents, or his relatives, or even the person himself can cancel all those grace-filled gifts that are given to a person in the Sacrament of Baptism.

As for communication with godparents, then, of course, betrayal of faith, that is, falling into one or another heterodox confession - Catholicism, Protestantism, especially falling into one or another non-Christian religion, godlessness, a blatantly impious way of life - in fact, they say that that a man has failed in his duty as a godfather. The spiritual union concluded in this sense in the Sacrament of Baptism can be considered terminated by the godmother or godmother, and you can ask another churched pious person to take a blessing from his confessor to bear the care of the godfather or godmother for this or that child.

- I was invited to be godmother a girl, but everyone tells me that the first one must be baptized the boy. Is it so?

- The superstitious idea that a girl should have a boy as her first godson and that a baby girl taken from the font will become an obstacle to her subsequent marriage has no Christian roots and is an absolute fabrication that an Orthodox Christian should not be guided by in any way.

- They say that one of the godparents must be married and have children. Is it so?

- On the one hand, the opinion that one of the godparents must be married and have children is a superstition, just like the idea that a girl who takes a girl from the font will either not marry herself, or it will impose on her fate some imprint.

On the other hand, in this opinion one can also see a certain kind of sobriety, if one does not approach it with a superstitious interpretation. Of course, it would be reasonable if people (or at least one of the godparents) are chosen as godparents for the baby, who have sufficient life experience, who themselves already have the skill of raising children in faith and piety, who have something to share with the baby's physical parents. And it would be highly desirable to look for such a godfather.

Can a pregnant woman be a godmother?

– Church statutes do not prevent a pregnant woman from being a godmother. The only thing I urge you to think about is whether you have the strength and determination to share the love for your own child with the love for the adopted baby, will you have time to take care of him, for advice to the parents of the baby, in order to sometimes pray warmly for him , bring to the temple, somehow be a good older friend. If you are more or less confident in yourself and circumstances allow, then nothing prevents you from becoming a godmother, and in all other cases, it may be better to measure seven times before cutting off once.

About godparents

Natalia Sukhinina

“Recently, I got into a conversation with a woman on the train, or rather, we even argued with her. She argued that godparents, like biological father and mother, are obliged to educate their godson. But I do not agree: a mother is a mother, to whom she will allow to interfere in the upbringing of a child. I also once had a godson in my youth, but our paths diverged a long time ago, I don’t know where he lives now. And she, this woman, says that now I will have to answer for him. Responsible for someone else's child? Something is unbelievable…”

(From a letter from a reader)

It so happened, and my life paths turned in a completely different direction from my godparents. Where they are now, how they live, and whether they are alive at all, I don’t know. Even their names could not be retained by memory, they baptized me long ago, in infancy. I asked my parents, but they don’t remember themselves, they shrug their shoulders, they say that people lived in the neighborhood at that time, and they were invited to be godparents.

And where are they now, what to call them, to magnify, do you remember?

To be honest, for me this circumstance has never been a flaw, I grew up and grew up, without godparents. No, she was cunning, it was once, envied. A school friend got married and received as a wedding gift as thin as a cobweb, gold chain. The godmother gave it, she boasted to us, who could not even dream of such chains. That's when I envied it. If I had a godmother, maybe I would ...
Now, of course, having lived and thought, I am very sorry about my random “father and mother”, who don’t even keep in mind that I remember them now in these lines. I remember without reproach, with regret. And, of course, in a dispute between my reader and a fellow traveler in the train, I am completely on the side of the fellow traveler. She's right. To hold us responsible for the godchildren and goddaughters scattered from their parental nests, because they are not random people in our lives, but our children, spiritual children, godparents.

Who doesn't know this picture?

Dressed up people stand aside in the temple. The center of attention is a baby in lush lace, he is passed from hand to hand, they go outside with him, they distract him so that he does not cry. Waiting for christening. They look at the clock, nervous.

Godmother and father can be recognized immediately. They are somehow especially concentrated and important. They rush to get a wallet to pay for the upcoming christening, give some orders, rustle bags of christening clothes and fresh diapers. The little man does not understand anything, goggles his eyes at the wall frescoes, at the lights of the chandelier, at the “persons accompanying him”, among which the face of the godfather is one of many. But the father invites - it's time. They fussed, got agitated, the godparents are trying their best to maintain importance - it doesn’t work, because for them, as well as for their godson, today’s exit to God’s temple is a significant event.
“When was the last time you were in church?” the priest will ask. They shrug their shoulders in embarrassment. He may not ask, of course. But even if he doesn’t ask, it’s still easy to determine from awkwardness and tension that godparents are not church people, and only the event in which they were invited to participate brought them under the vaults of the church. Father will ask questions:

- Do you carry a cross?

Do you read prayers?

- Do you read the Gospel?

Do you honor church holidays?

And the godparents will begin to mutter something indistinct, to lower their eyes guiltily. The priest will certainly conscience, remind of the duty of godfathers and mothers, in general, of Christian duty. Hastily and willingly, their godparents will nod their heads, humbly accept the denunciation of sin, and whether from excitement, or from embarrassment, or from the seriousness of the moment, few will remember and let into their hearts the main father's thought: we are all responsible for our godchildren, and now, and forever. And whoever remembers is likely to misunderstand. And from time to time, mindful of his duty, he will begin to invest in the well-being of the godson a feasible contribution.

The first deposit immediately after baptism: an envelope with a crisp solid banknote - for a tooth. Then for birthdays, as the child grows - a chic set of children's dowry, an expensive toy, a fashionable satchel, a bicycle, a branded suit, and so on up to the gold, to the envy of the poor, chains for the wedding.

We know very little. And it’s not a problem, but something that we don’t really want to know. After all, if they wanted to, then before going to the church as a godfather, they would have looked there the day before and asked the priest what this step “threatens” us with, how it is more worthy to prepare for it.
Godfather - in Slavic godfather. Why? After immersion in the font, the priest passes the baby from his hands into the hands of the godfather. And he accepts, takes it into his own hands. The meaning of this action is very deep. By perception, the godfather takes upon himself the honorable, and most importantly, responsible mission to lead the godson along the path of ascent to the Heavenly heritage. That's where! After all, baptism is the spiritual birth of a person. Remember, in the Gospel of John: "Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the Kingdom of God."

In serious words - "guardians of faith and piety" - the Church calls the recipients. But to keep, you need to know. Therefore, only a believing Orthodox person can be a godfather, and not the one who, together with the baptized baby, first got into the temple. Godparents should know at least the basic prayers “Our Father”, “Virgin Mary”, “May God rise again ...”, they must know the “Symbol of Faith”, read the Gospel, the Psalter. And, of course, to wear a cross, to be able to be baptized.
One priest said: they came to baptize the child, but the godfather did not have a cross. Father to him: put on a cross, but he can’t, unbaptized. It's just a joke, but it's the real truth.

Faith and repentance are the two main conditions for union with God. But one cannot demand faith and repentance from a baby in lace, so the godparents are called, having faith and repentance, to pass them on, to teach them to their godparents. That is why, instead of babies, they pronounce the words of the "Creed" and the words of renunciation of Satan.

Do you deny Satan and all his works? the priest asks.

“I deny it,” the recipient answers instead of the baby.

The priest is wearing a bright festive robe as a sign of the beginning of a new life, which means spiritual purity. He walks around the font, censes it, all those standing next to the lit candles. Candles are burning in the hands of the recipients. Very soon, the priest will lower the baby three times into the font and, wet, wrinkled, not at all understanding where he is and why, a servant of God, will be handed over to the godparents. And he will be dressed in white clothes. At this time, a very beautiful troparion is sung: “Give me a light robe, put on light, like a robe ...” Accept your child, godparents. From now on, your life will be filled with a special meaning, you have taken on the feat of spiritual parenthood, and for how you carry it, you now have to answer to God.

At the First Ecumenical Council, a rule was adopted according to which women become godparents for girls, men for boys. Simply put, a girl only needs a godmother, a boy only needs a godfather. But life, as it often happens, has made its own adjustments here. According to the ancient Russian tradition, both are invited. It, of course, will not spoil the porridge with oil. But even here it is necessary to know quite certain rules. For example, a husband and wife cannot be godparents to one child, just as the parents of a child cannot be godparents at the same time. Godparents cannot marry their godchildren.

... Behind the baptism of the baby. He has a great life ahead of him, in which we have a place equal to those who gave birth to his father and mother. Ahead is our work, our constant striving to prepare the godson for the ascent to spiritual heights. Where to begin? Yes, from the smallest. At first, especially if the child is the first, parents are knocked down from the worries that have fallen on them. They are, as they say, nothing. Now is the time to lend them a helping hand.

Carry the baby to Communion, make sure that icons hang over his cradle, give notes for him in the temple, order prayers, constantly, like your own blood children, commemorate in prayers at home. Of course, you don’t have to do it instructively, they say, you are mired in fuss, but I’m all spiritual - I think about the high, I aspire to the high, I feed your child, so that you do without me ... In general, the spiritual upbringing of the baby is possible only in if the godfather in the house is his own person, desirable, tactful. It is not necessary, of course, to shift all the worries onto yourself. The duties of spiritual education are not removed from parents, but to help, support, replace somewhere, if necessary, this is mandatory, without this one cannot be justified before the Lord.

This is a really difficult cross. And, perhaps, you need to think carefully before you lay it on yourself. Can I? Will I have enough health, patience, spiritual experience to become a recipient of a person entering into life? And parents should take a good look at relatives and friends - candidates for an honorary post. Who among them can become a truly good helper in education, who will be able to give your child true Christian gifts - prayer, the ability to forgive, the ability to love God. And plush bunnies the size of elephants may be nice, but not at all necessary.

If there is trouble in the house, then there are other criteria. How many unfortunate, restless children suffer from drunken fathers, unlucky mothers. And how many simply unfriendly, embittered people live under one roof and make children suffer cruelly. As old as the world, such stories are banal. But if a person who stood with a lit candle in front of the baptismal font fits into this plot, if he, this person, rushes, as if into an embrasure, towards his godson, he can turn mountains. Doing good is also good. It is not in our power to drive away a fool-man from half a liter, to reason with a lost daughter or to sing “make peace, make peace, make peace” to two frowning halves. But it is in our power to take away to our dacha for a day at the dacha a boy weary of affection, enroll him in Sunday school and take the trouble to take him there, and to pray. Prayer feat is at the forefront of godparents of all times and peoples.

The priests are well aware of the severity of the feat of the recipients and do not bless to recruit a lot of children for their children, good and different.

But I know a man who has more than fifty godchildren. These boys and girls are just from there, from childhood loneliness, childish sadness. From a big child's misfortune.

This man's name is Alexander Gennadyevich Petrynin, he lives in Khabarovsk, directs the Children's Rehabilitation Center, or, more simply, in an orphanage. As a director, he does a lot, digs through funds for equipping classes, selects cadres from conscientious, unselfish people, rescues his wards from the police, collects them in the basements.

Like a godfather, he takes them to church, tells them about God, prepares them for Communion, and prays. Pray a lot, a lot. In Optina Hermitage, in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, in the Diveevsky Monastery, in dozens of churches throughout Russia, long notes written by him about the health of numerous godchildren are read. He is very tired, this man, sometimes he almost collapses from fatigue. But he has no other choice, he is a godfather, and his godchildren are a special people. His heart is a rare heart, and the priest, realizing this, blesses him for such asceticism. A teacher from God, those who know him in business say about him. Godfather from God - is it possible to say so? No, probably all godparents are from God, but he knows how to suffer like a godfather, knows how to love like a godfather, and knows how to save. Like a godfather.

For us, whose godchildren, like the children of Lieutenant Schmidt, scattered throughout the cities and villages, his ministry to children is an example of a real Christian ministry. I think that many of us cannot reach its heights, but if we do life with someone, then just with those who understand their title of “grandparent” as a serious, and not an accidental matter in life.
One can, of course, say: I am a weak, busy person, not so hot a church person, and the best thing I can do in order not to sin is to refuse the offer to be a godfather altogether. It's more honest and easier, right? Easier - yes. But more honest...
Few of us, especially when the time has imperceptibly come to stop, look around, can say to ourselves - I am a good father, a good mother, I owe nothing to my own child. We are indebted to everyone, and the godless time in which our requests, our projects, our passions grew, is the result of our debts to each other. We won't give them away. Children have grown up and do without our truths and our discoveries of America. The parents got old. But conscience - the voice of God - itches and itches.

Conscience requires a splash, and not in words, but in deeds. Can it not be such a thing to carry the duties of the Cross?
It is a pity that there are few examples of the feat of the cross among us. The word "godfather" has almost disappeared from our vocabulary. And the recent wedding of the daughter of my childhood friend was a great and unexpected gift for me. Or rather, not even a wedding, which in itself is a great joy, but a feast, the wedding itself. And that's why. Sat down, poured wine, waiting for a toast. Everyone is somehow embarrassed, the parents of the bride skip ahead with the speeches of the groom's parents, they are vice versa. And then a tall and handsome man stood up. He got up in a very businesslike manner. He raised his glass:

“I mean, as the godfather of the bride…”

Everyone quieted down. Everyone listened to the words about young people living long, together, having many children, and most importantly, with the Lord.
“Thank you, godfather,” said the charming Yulia, and from under the luxurious foaming veil she gave her godfather a grateful look.

Thank you godfather, I thought. Thank you for carrying the love for your spiritual daughter from the baptismal candle to the wedding. Thank you for reminding us all of something we had completely forgotten about. But we have time to remember. How many - the Lord knows. Therefore, we must hurry.

What is Baptism as a Sacrament? How does it happen?

Baptism is the Sacrament in which the believer, when the body is immersed three times in water with the invocation of God the Father and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, dies for a carnal, sinful life and is reborn from the Holy Spirit into a spiritual life. In Baptism, a person is cleansed from original sin - the sin of the forefathers, communicated to him through birth. The Sacrament of Baptism can be performed on a person only once (as well as a person is born only once).

The baptism of an infant is performed according to the faith of the recipients, who have a sacred duty to teach children the true faith, to help them become worthy members of the Church of Christ.

The baptismal set for your baby should be the one recommended to you in the church where you will baptize him. They will easily tell you what you need. This is mainly a baptismal cross and a baptismal shirt. The baptism of one baby lasts about forty minutes.

This sacrament consists of Announcements(reading special prayers - “prohibitions” over those preparing for baptism), renunciation of Satan and union with Christ, that is, union with Him, and confession of the Orthodox faith. Here, for the baby, the godparents should pronounce the appropriate words.

Immediately after the end of the Announcement, the follow-up begins christening. most notable and important point- three times immersion of the baby in the font with the pronunciation of the words: “The servant of God (servant of God) (name) is baptized in the name of the Father, amen. And the Son, amen. And the Holy Spirit, amen." At this time, the godfather (of the same sex as the person being baptized), taking a towel in his hands, is preparing to receive his godfather from the font. After that, the one who has received Baptism is dressed in new white clothes, a cross is put on him.

Immediately after this, another Sacrament is performed - Chrismation in which the baptized person, when the parts of the body are anointed by the Holy World in the name of the Holy Spirit, are given the gifts of the Holy Spirit, strengthening him in spiritual life. After that, the priest and the godparents with the newly baptized go around the font three times as a sign of the spiritual joy of union with Christ for eternal life in the Kingdom of Heaven. Then an excerpt from the Epistle of the Apostle Paul to the Romans is read, dedicated to the topic of baptism, and an excerpt from the Gospel of Matthew - about the Lord Jesus Christ sending the apostles to the worldwide preaching of faith with the command to baptize all nations in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. After the myrrh, the priest is washed from the body of the baptized person with a special sponge dipped in holy water, with the words: “Thou hast been justified. Thou hast been enlightened. Thou hast been sanctified. Thou hast been washed in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God. You were baptized. Thou hast been enlightened. Thou hast been anointed. Thou art sanctified, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, amen."

Next, the priest cuts the hair of the newly baptized cross-shaped (on four sides) with the words: “The servant (a) of God (name) is cut in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, amen,” folds the hair on a wax cake and lowers it into the font. tonsure symbolizes obedience to God and at the same time marks the small sacrifice that the newly baptized brings to God in thanksgiving for the beginning of a new, spiritual life. After the utterance of petitions for godparents and the newly baptized, the sacrament of baptism ends.

Usually immediately followed by churching denoting the first offering to the temple. The baby, taken by the priest in his arms, is carried by him through the temple, brought to the Royal Doors and brought into the altar (only boys), after which he is given to his parents. Churching symbolizes the dedication of the baby to God according to the Old Testament model. After baptism, the infant should be given communion.

Why are only boys brought to the altar?

In principle, boys should not be brought there either, this is just a tradition.
The Sixth Ecumenical Council determined: No one belonging to the class of the laity shall be allowed to enter the interior of the sacred altar.… (rule 69). Renowned canonist ep. gives this decree the following commentary: “In view of the mystery of the bloodless sacrifice offered at the altar, it was forbidden, from ancient times of the church, to enter the altar to anyone who did not belong to the clergy. "The altar is for sacred persons only."

They say that before you baptize your child, you should confess and take communion.

Even regardless of the Baptism of a child, Orthodox Christians are called by the Church to regularly partake of the Sacraments of Confession and Holy Communion. If you have not done this until now, then it will be good to take the first step towards a full-fledged church life by anticipating the Baptism of your own baby.

This is not a formal requirement, but a natural internal norm - because, introducing the child to Church life through the sacrament of Baptism, introducing him into the Church's fence - why should we ourselves remain outside of it? For an adult who has not repented for many years, or never in his life, has not begun to receive the Holy Mysteries of Christ, at this moment is a very conditionally Christian. Only by prompting himself to live in the sacraments of the Church does he actualize his Christianity.

What is the Orthodox name for the baby?

The right to choose the name of the child belongs to his parents. In choosing a name, lists of the names of saints can help you - the saints. In the holy calendar, the names are arranged in calendar order.

There is no unequivocal church tradition of choosing names - often parents choose a name for the baby from the list of those saints who are glorified on the very day the child is born, or on the eighth day, when the rite of naming is performed, or in the period of forty days (when the Sacrament of Baptism is usually performed). Wisely choose a name from a list of names church calendar of those that are close enough after the child's birthday. But by the way, this is not some kind of obligatory church establishment, and if there is some deep desire to name the child in honor of this or that saint, or some kind of vow on the part of the parents, or something else, then this is not an obstacle at all. .

When choosing a name, you can get acquainted not only with what this or that name means, but also with the life of the saint in whose honor you want to name your baby: what kind of saint is it, where and when did he live, what was his lifestyle, on which days his memory is celebrated.
Cm. .

Why do some churches close the church for the time of the sacrament of Baptism (not doing this during other Sacraments) or ask people who call themselves Orthodox not to enter it?

Because during the Baptism of an adult, it is not very pleasant for the person being baptized or being baptized, if strangers look at him, sufficiently bodily exposed, observe the greatest sacrament, the curious look of those who have nothing to do with prayer. It seems that a prudent Orthodox person will not go simply as a spectator to someone else's Baptism, if he was not invited there. And if he lacks tact, then church ministers act prudently, removing the curious from the temple at the time of the sacrament of Baptism.

What must come first, faith or baptism? Is it possible to be baptized to believe?

Baptism is a Sacrament, that is, a special action of God, in which, with the reciprocal desire of the person himself (certainly the person himself), he dies for a sinful and passionate life and is born into a new life - life in Christ Jesus.

On the other hand, deep faith is what a baptized and churched person should strive for all his life. All people are sinners, and one must strive for such an acquisition of faith, with which deeds are combined. Faith, among other things, is an effort of the will. In the Gospel, one person who met the Savior exclaimed: “I believe, Lord! Help my unbelief." () This man already believed in the Lord, but he wanted to believe even more, stronger, more decisively.

Strengthening in faith will be easier if you live the church life, and not look at it from the outside.

Why do we baptize babies? They still cannot choose their own religion and consciously follow Christ?

A person is saved not on his own, not as an individual who single-handedly decides how he should be and act in this life, but as a member of the Church, a community in which everyone is responsible for each other. Therefore, an adult can vouch for the baby and say: I will try to make sure that he grows up as a good Orthodox Christian. And while he cannot answer for himself, his godfather and godmother pledge their faith for him.

Does a person have the right to be baptized at any age?

Baptism is possible for a person of any age on any day of the year.

At what age is it best to baptize a child?

You can baptize a person at any time from his first to his very last breath. In ancient times, it was customary to baptize a child on the eighth day from birth, but this was not a mandatory rule.
It is most convenient to baptize a child during the first months from birth. At this time, the baby still does not distinguish his mother from the “alien aunt”, who will hold him in her arms during Baptism, and the “bearded uncle”, who will always come up to him and “do something with him”, is not terrible for him.
Older children already quite consciously perceive reality, they see that they are surrounded by people they do not know, and their mothers are either not at all or for some reason she does not go to them, and may experience anxiety about this.

Is it necessary to be baptized again if a person was “baptized by a grandmother at home”?

Baptism is the only Sacrament of the Church, which, in case of emergency, can be performed even by a lay person. During the years of persecution, cases of such baptism were not rare - there were few churches and priests.
In addition, in the old days, midwives sometimes baptized newborn babies if their lives were in danger: for example, if the child received a birth injury. This baptism is commonly referred to as "immersion." If a child died after such a baptism, then he was buried as a Christian; if he survived, then he was brought to the temple and the priest made up for the baptism performed by the layman with the necessary prayers and sacred rites.
Thus, in any case, a person baptized by a lay person must “refill” the baptism in the temple. However, in the old days, midwives were specially taught how to properly perform baptism; in the Soviet years, it is often completely unknown who baptized and how, whether this person was trained, whether he knew what and how to do. Therefore, for the sake of confidence in the actual performance of the Sacrament, priests most often baptize such "immersed" as if there was doubt whether they were baptized or not.

Can parents attend Baptism?

They may well, and not just be present, but pray with the priest and godparents for their baby. There are no obstacles to this.

When is Baptism performed?

Baptism can take place at any time. However, in churches, the procedure for performing Baptism is established differently depending on the internal routine, opportunities and circumstances. Therefore, you should worry in advance about how to find out about the procedure for performing Baptism in the temple in which you want to baptize your child.

What does an adult person who wants to receive the Sacrament of Baptism need?

For an adult, the basis for Baptism is the presence of a sincere Orthodox faith.
The purpose of Baptism is union with God. Therefore, those who come to the baptismal font need to decide for themselves very important questions: does he need this and is he ready for this? Baptism is inappropriate if a person with his help is looking for some earthly blessings, success, or hopes to solve his family problems. Therefore, one more important condition for Baptism is a firm desire to live as a Christian
After the celebration of the Sacrament, a person must begin a full-fledged church life: go to church regularly, learn divine services, pray, that is, learn to live in God. If this does not happen, Baptism will not make any sense.
It is necessary to prepare for Baptism: at least carefully read these catechetical conversations, read at least one of the Gospels, know by heart or close to the text the Creed and the prayer "Our Father".
It would be just wonderful to prepare for confession: to remember your sins, wrongs and bad inclinations. Many priests do it very correctly when they confess catechumens before Baptism.

Is it possible to baptize during Lent?

Yes, you can. Moreover, in the old days, fasts served as preparation not only for a certain holiday, but also for entry into new members, i.e. to the baptism of the catechumens. Thus, in the ancient Church, they were baptized mainly on the eve of big Church holidays, including during fasting. Traces of this are still preserved in the peculiarities of the services of the feasts of the Nativity of Christ, Easter and Pentecost.

In what case can a priest refuse a person to be baptized?

A priest not only can, but also must refuse a person to be baptized if he does not believe in God in the way the Orthodox Church teaches to believe, since faith is an indispensable condition for Baptism.
Among the grounds for refusing baptism may be a person's unpreparedness and a magical attitude towards baptism. The magical attitude to Baptism is the desire to use it to protect oneself from the forces of evil, to get rid of "damage" or "evil eye", to receive all kinds of spiritual or material "bonuses".
Persons in a state of intoxication and leading an immoral lifestyle will not be baptized until their repentance and correction.

What to do if it is known for sure that a person was baptized, but no one remembers the name with which he was baptized? Baptize a second time?

This situation occurs quite often. It is not necessary to baptize a person a second time - you can baptize only once. But you can give a person a new name. Any priest has the right to do this simply by confessing a person and communion him with a new name.

How many times can you be baptized?

Definitely one time. Baptism is a spiritual birth, and a person can be born only once. AT Orthodox Symbol Faith says: "I confess one baptism for the remission of sins." Secondary baptism is not allowed.

What to do if you do not know whether you are baptized or not, and there is no one to find out from?

You need to be baptized, but at the same time warn the priest that you may be baptized, but you don’t know for sure about it. The priest will perform Baptism according to a special order for such cases.

About godparents (successors)

What duties do godfathers and mothers have towards their godchildren?

Godparents have three main duties towards godchildren:
1. Prayer. The godfather is obliged to pray for his godchild, and also, as he grows, teach him to pray, so that the godson himself can communicate with God and ask Him for help in all his life circumstances.
2. Doctrine. Teach the godson the basics of the Christian faith.
3. Preacher. By your own example, show the godson human virtues - love, kindness, mercy, and others, so that he grows into a real good Christian.

How should future godparents prepare for the Sacrament of Baptism?

Godparents are guarantors for their godson. They are entrusted with the duty to take care of the spiritual and moral education of their godchild. Godparents teach him the basics of the Orthodox faith, prayer and the way of life of a true Christian. Consequently, the godparents themselves must know both the Gospel and church life well, have good prayer practice, and regularly participate in divine services and Church Sacraments.
Have you decided to become a godfather, but do not meet the requirements? Make it a reason to start moving in that direction.
To get started, listen to the catechumens in the temple or on.
Then read your choice of Mark or Luke. Choose for yourself - the first is shorter, the second is clearer. You can also find them in; Specifically, the New Testament.
Read the text carefully - during Baptism, one of the godparents reads it by heart or from a sheet. It would also be nice if by the time of Epiphany you knew by heart.
After Baptism, deepen and expand your knowledge of Bible history, pray at home and participate in church services - this way you will gradually acquire practical Christian skills.

Is it possible to become a godfather in absentia without participating in the Baptism of an infant?

The original name of godparents is godparents. They received such a name because they "received" the baptized from the font; at the same time, the Church, as it were, delegates to them part of her concern for the new Christian and teaching him Christian life and morality, therefore, not only the presence of godparents during Baptism and their active participation is obligatory, but also their conscious desire to take on such responsibility.

Can representatives of other religions become godparents?

Definitely not.
In Baptism, the recipients testify to the Orthodox faith, and according to their faith, the infant receives the Sacrament. This alone makes it impossible for representatives of other religions to become godparents at Baptism.
In addition, the godparents take on the obligation to educate the godson in Orthodoxy. Representatives of other religions cannot fulfill these duties because for us Christianity is not a theory, but life itself in Christ. This life can only be taught by those who themselves live this way.
The question arises: can then representatives of other Christian denominations, for example, Catholics or Lutherans, become godparents? The answer is no - they can't for the same reasons. Only Orthodox Christians can become recipients at Baptism.

Which of the things you need to bring with you to Baptism and which of the godparents should do this?

For Baptism you will need a baptismal kit. As a rule, this is a pectoral cross with a chain or ribbon, several candles, a baptismal shirt. The cross can also be purchased in ordinary stores, but then you should ask the priest to consecrate it.
You will need a towel or diaper to wrap and dry the baby after the font.
According to an unwritten tradition, a godfather acquires a cross for a boy, and a godmother for a girl. Although this rule does not have to be followed.

How many godfathers and mothers should a person have?

One. As a rule, the same sex as the child, that is, for a boy - a godfather, and for a girl - a godmother.
It is a pious custom to have both a godfather and a godmother for a child.
It is not customary to have more than two recipients.

How to choose godparents for a child?

The main criterion for choosing a godfather or godmother should be whether this person can subsequently help in the Christian upbringing of the person received from the font. The degree of acquaintance and just the friendliness of the relationship are also important, but this is not the main thing.
In the old days, concern about expanding the circle of people who would seriously help the newborn child made it undesirable to invite the next of kin as godparents. It was believed that, by virtue of natural kinship, they would help the child anyway. For this reason, family grandparents, brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts rarely became foster parents. Nevertheless, it is not forbidden, and now it is becoming more and more frequent.

Can a pregnant woman become a godmother?

Maybe. Pregnancy is not an obstacle to acceptance. In addition, if a pregnant woman herself wants to receive the Sacrament of Baptism, then she may well do it.

Who can't be a godmother?

minors; Gentiles; the mentally ill; wholly ignorant of the faith; persons in a state of intoxication; A married couple cannot be godparents for the same child.

What should godparents give to a godson?

This question lies in the realm of human customs and does not concern the spiritual life regulated by Church rules and canons. In other words, this is a personal matter of the godparents. You may not give anything at all.
However, it seems that the gift, if there is one, should be useful and remind of Baptism. It could be the Bible or New Testament, pectoral cross or icon of the saint in whose honor the child is named. There are many options.

If godparents do not fulfill their duties, is it possible to take other godparents and what needs to be done for this?

In the truest sense of the word, it is impossible. The godfather will be only the one who perceived the child from the font. However, in a sense, this can be done.
Let's draw a parallel with a normal birth: for example, a father and mother, having given birth to their baby, refuse him, do not fulfill their parental duties and do not take care of him. In this case, the child can be adopted by someone and raised as a native. This person will become, although adopted, but a parent in the true sense of the word.
It is the same with spiritual birth. If real godparents do not fulfill their duties, and there is a person who can and wants to take on their function, then he should receive a blessing for this from the priest and after that begin to take care of the child in every possible way. And "godfather" at the same time it can also be called.
At the same time, a child cannot be baptized again.

Can a young man become godfather to his bride?

Definitely not. A spiritual kinship arises between the godparent and the godson, which excludes the possibility of marriage.

How many times can a person become a godfather?

As many as you think possible.
Being a godparent is a big responsibility. Someone may dare to take on such responsibility once or twice, someone five or six, and someone perhaps ten. Everyone determines this measure for himself.

Can a person refuse to become a godfather? Wouldn't that be a sin?

Maybe. If he feels that he is not ready to be responsible for the child, then it will be more honest to both the parents and the child and to himself to say this directly, rather than formally becoming a godfather and not fulfilling his duties.

Is it possible to become a godfather for two or three children from the same family?

Yes, you can. There are no canonical barriers to this.

If you are invited to be godfather or a mother, then, in addition to the rules for accepting the sacrament of Baptism by your future wards, you need to know how many times you can be a godfather, what are the duties of godparents and how to pray for children and godchildren.

Following the rules of Christianity, becoming a good godparent means raising your godchild to be a worthy Christian.

Responsibilities of Godparents

Duties to the baby appear as soon as you decide to baptize him, and you must follow them:

1. A godparent is a person who must guide his ward to faith. He talks about the Christian faith and the importance of going to church, makes sure that children are brought to Communion, teaches how to pray and live according to the will of God.
2. By example, godparents should show how to behave correctly. It is the godfather who must teach the godson the rules of kindness and love. He must be as merciful as possible so that the child takes an example from him, because the main duty is to educate a believing Christian.
3. He must teach the child the basic rules of Christianity. If you yourself do not know enough the rules prescribed by Christianity, then you can always contact the church and sign up for special classes. In general, you need to study and learn new things all your life, therefore you should read a variety of Orthodox literature, and most importantly attend services, at least 2 times a year, confess and take communion.

It is important: remember, as soon as you took the baby and went to the temple of God to participate in the sacrament of Baptism, you made a promise to God that throughout your life you would try to bring the ward to the temple, pray for him and teach all the rules of Christianity.

Who can be godfather

When choosing candidates, unfortunately, few people follow the rules of the Orthodox Church. Godparents can be best friend or a girlfriend, close relatives, even grandparents.

But it is important to understand that the person who will lead your child to faith must meet the following requirements:

1. First of all, he himself must be a believing Christian. You cannot baptize a child if you do not profess Christianity. A worthy choice is a person who regularly attends church, prays and takes communion.
2. It can be one who is ready to direct the upbringing of children in a Christian direction, lead them to the service, teach them to pray, help them come to confession for the first time, instill love for God, the Most Holy Theotokos and Holy Ascetics, teach them to turn to them in various life circumstances.
3. After the sacrament of Baptism, it is impossible to refuse or change the godfather. A person still remains a godfather, even if during his life he refused to attend the temple or the Christian Orthodox faith, and cannot engage in the Christian upbringing of a child.
4. An unmarried, married or pregnant woman can become a godmother, but a husband and wife cannot simultaneously be godparents of the same child.
5. According to the rules prescribed in the Ribbon, one person must be a godfather. Accordingly, girls have a woman, boys have a man. But the presence of a second godfather is just an ancient custom of the church.
6. You cannot become a godparent if a person has the rank of a monk or nun.
7. If it is not possible to attend the sacrament of Baptism, then it is allowed to enter the name of the parent / parent in absentia. Responsibilities of recipients, both full-time and part-time, are absolutely equivalent.
8. If there is no one to become the godparent of your child, go to the temple, they often baptize without godparents, then the priest who conducted the sacrament is considered the godfather.

Is it possible to be the godfather of several children

There are no restrictions on the number of godchildren. One person can become a godfather twice, thrice, and so on - there are no obstacles to this.

You can refuse when there is doubt not to cope with the responsibility assigned to him.

If you are already a godparent, but friends are asking you to be honored again, you need to think carefully. Becoming a godfather is a big responsibility.

And if you live in the same city with one godson, make friends with families, even go to the same church, you know that his parents are believing Christians, so far your only task is to pray regularly for his entire family.

Well, if, after a while, when a grown-up child needs help, advice, he will come to you, and you, together with his parents, will be able to resolve a difficult issue.

And if another godson lives far away from you, perhaps his family moved, or you, due to various circumstances, stopped communicating with his parents, this does not relieve you of responsibility. It is you who will have to answer for his Christian illiteracy before God.

Prayers for children and godchildren

Conclusion

Being a godfather is a big responsibility that everyone who agrees bears before the baby and Almighty God. Therefore, if you are not ready to help your child follow the Christian faith and cannot teach him faith, mercy, then it is better to refuse the offer to become a successor.

What is Baptism? Why is it called a Sacrament? You will find comprehensive answers to all these questions in this article prepared by the editors of Pravmir.

The Sacrament of Baptism: Answers to Readers' Questions

Today I would like to tell the reader about the sacrament of Baptism and the godparents.

For ease of perception, I will offer the reader an article in the form of questions most often asked by people about Baptism and the answers to them. So the first question is:

What is Baptism? Why is it called a Sacrament?

Baptism is one of the seven sacraments of the Orthodox Church, in which the believer, when the body is immersed three times in water with the invocation of the name of the Most Holy Trinity - the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, dies to a sinful life, and is reborn by the Holy Spirit for Eternal Life. Of course, there is a basis for this action in the Holy Scriptures: "He who is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the Kingdom of God" (John 3:5). Christ says in the Gospel: “Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved; but whoever does not believe will be condemned” (Mark 16:16).

So, baptism is necessary for a person to be saved. Baptism is a new birth for spiritual life, in which a person can reach the Kingdom of Heaven. And it is called a sacrament because through it, in a mysterious, incomprehensible way for us, the invisible saving power of God, grace, acts on the person being baptized. Like other sacraments, baptism is established by God. The Lord Jesus Christ himself, sending the apostles to preach the gospel, taught them to baptize people: “Go, make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit” (Matthew 28:19). Having been baptized, a person becomes a member of the Church of Christ and from now on can proceed to the rest of the sacraments of the Church.

Now that the reader has become acquainted with the Orthodox concept of baptism, it is appropriate to consider one of the most frequently asked questions related to the baptism of children. So:

Baptism of infants: is it possible to baptize infants, because they do not have an independent faith?

Quite right, young children do not have independent, conscious faith. But don't the parents who brought their child to be baptized in the temple of God have it? Will they not instill faith in God in their child from childhood? It is obvious that parents have such a faith, and most likely will instill it in their child. In addition, the child will also have godparents - godparents from the baptismal font, who vouch for him and undertake to raise their godchild in the Orthodox faith. Thus, infants are baptized not according to their own faith, but according to the faith of their parents and godparents who brought the child to baptism.

The New Testament baptism was typified by the Old Testament circumcision. In the Old Testament, babies were brought to the temple for circumcision on the eighth day. By this, the child's parents showed their and his faith and belonging to God's chosen people. Christians can say the same about baptism in the words of John Chrysostom: "Baptism is the most obvious difference and separation of the faithful from the unbelievers." Moreover, there is a basis for this in the Holy Scriptures: “They were circumcised with a circumcision made without hands, by putting off the sinful body of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ; being buried with Him in baptism” (Col. 2:11-12). That is, baptism is a dying and burial for sin and a resurrection for a perfect life with Christ.

These reasons are enough to make the reader realize the importance of infant baptism. After that, the next question would be:

When should children be baptized?

There are no specific rules in this matter. But usually children are baptized on the 40th day after birth, although this can be done earlier or later. The main thing is not to postpone baptism for a long time unless absolutely necessary. It would be wrong to deprive a child of such a great sacrament for the sake of the circumstances.

An inquisitive reader may have questions regarding the days of baptism. For example, on the eve of multi-day fasts, the question most often heard is:

Is it possible to baptize children on fasting days?

Yes, you certainly may! But technically it doesn't always work. In some churches, during the days of Great Lent, they baptize only on Saturdays and Sundays. This practice is most likely based on the fact that weekday Lenten services are very long, and the intervals between morning and evening services can be short. On Saturdays and Sundays, divine services are somewhat shorter in time, and priests can devote more time to the requirements. Therefore, when planning the day of baptism, it is better to find out in advance about the rules observed in the temple where the child will be baptized. Well, if we talk about the days on which you can baptize, then there are no restrictions on this issue. You can baptize children on any day when there are no technical obstacles to this.

I have already mentioned that every person, if possible, should have godparents - godparents from the baptismal font. Moreover, they should be in children who are baptized according to the faith of their parents and godparents. The question arises:

How many godparents should a child have?

Church rules prescribe to have a godparent for the child of the same sex as the person being baptized. That is, for a boy - a man, and for a girl - a woman. In tradition, both godparents are usually chosen for the child: father and mother. This does not contradict the canons in any way. It will also not be a contradiction if, if necessary, the child has a godfather of a different sex than the baptized person himself. The main thing is that it should be a truly believing person who would subsequently conscientiously fulfill his duties of raising a child in the Orthodox faith. Thus, a baptized person can have one or, at most, two godparents.

Having dealt with the number of godparents, the reader will most likely want to know:

What are the requirements for godparents?

The first and main requirement is the undoubted Orthodox faith of the recipients. Godparents must be church-going people, living the church life. After all, they will have to teach their godson or goddaughter the basics of the Orthodox faith, to give spiritual instructions. If they themselves are ignorant of these matters, what will they be able to teach the child? The godparents have a huge responsibility for the spiritual upbringing of their godchildren, for they, together with their parents, are responsible for it before God. This responsibility begins with the renunciation of "Satan, and all his works, and all his angels, and all his ministry, and all his pride." Thus, the godparents, answering for their godson, make a promise that their godchild will be a Christian.

If the godson is already an adult and pronounces the words of renunciation himself, then the godparents present at the same time become guarantors before the Church in the fidelity of his words. Godparents are obliged to teach their godchildren to resort to the saving Sacraments of the Church, mainly confession and communion, they must give them knowledge of the meaning of worship, the features of the church calendar, and the grace-filled power miraculous icons and other shrines. The godparents must accustom those taken from the font to attend church services, fast, pray, and observe other provisions of the church charter. But the main thing is that godparents should always pray for their godson. Obviously, strangers cannot be godparents, for example, some kind-hearted grandmother from the church, whom her parents persuaded to “hold” the baby at baptism.

But also, you should not take as godparents just close people or relatives who do not meet the spiritual requirements that were outlined above.

Godparents should not become an object of personal gain for the parents of the baptized. The desire to intermarry with a profitable person, for example, with a boss, often guides parents when choosing godparents for a child. At the same time, forgetting about the true purpose of baptism, parents can deprive the child of a real godfather, and impose on him one who subsequently will not at all care about the spiritual upbringing of the child, for which he himself will also answer to God. Unrepentant sinners and people leading an immoral lifestyle cannot become godparents.

Some of the details of baptism include the following question:

Is it possible for a woman to become a godmother on the days of the monthly cleansing? What to do if it did happen?

On such days, women should refrain from participating in church sacraments, which include baptism. But if this did happen, then it is necessary to repent at confession.

Perhaps someone reading this article will become a godfather in the near future. Realizing the importance of the decision being made, they will be interested in:

How do future godparents prepare for baptism?

There are no special rules for preparing recipients for baptism. At some churches, special talks are held, the purpose of which is usually to explain to a person all the provisions of the Orthodox faith regarding baptism and acceptance. If there is an opportunity to attend such conversations, then it is necessary to do this, because. this is very helpful for future godparents. If the future godparents are sufficiently churched, they constantly confess and take communion, then attending such conversations will be a completely sufficient measure of preparation for them.

If potential recipients themselves are not yet sufficiently churched, then a good preparation for them will be not only acquiring the necessary knowledge about church life, but also studying the Holy Scriptures, the basic rules of Christian piety, as well as a three-day fast, confession and communion before the sacrament of baptism. There are several other traditions regarding recipients. Usually the godfather takes care of the payment (if any) for the baptism itself and the purchase of a pectoral cross for his godson. The godmother buys a baptismal cross for the girl, and also brings the things necessary for baptism. Typically, a christening kit includes a baptismal shirt, a sheet and a towel.

But these traditions are not binding. Often in different regions and even individual churches have their own traditions, the execution of which is strictly monitored by parishioners and even priests, although they do not have any dogmatic and canonical grounds. Therefore, it is better to learn more about them in the temple in which baptism will take place.

Sometimes one hears a purely technical question related to baptism:

What should godparents give for baptism (godson, godson's parents, priest)?

This question does not lie in the spiritual realm, regulated by canonical rules and traditions. But, it seems that the gift should be useful and remind of the day of baptism. Useful gifts on the day of baptism there could be icons, the Gospel, spiritual literature, prayer books, etc. In general, in church shops you can now find a lot of interesting and soulful things, so acquiring a worthy gift should not be a big difficulty.

A fairly common question asked by unchurched parents is the question:

Can non-Orthodox Christians or Gentiles become godparents?

It is quite obvious that they are not, because they will not be able to teach their godson the truths of the Orthodox faith. Not being members of the Orthodox Church, they cannot take part in church sacraments at all.

Unfortunately, many parents do not ask about this in advance and, without any remorse, invite non-Orthodox and Gentile godparents to their children. At baptism, of course, no one talks about this. But then, having learned about the inadmissibility of the deed, the parents run to the temple, asking:

What should I do if this happened by mistake? Is baptism valid in this case? Should a child be baptized?

First of all, such situations show the extreme irresponsibility of parents when choosing godparents for their child. Nevertheless, such cases are not uncommon, and they occur among unchurched people who do not live a church life. An unequivocal answer to the question "what to do in this case?" it is impossible to give, because there is nothing of the kind in the church canons. This is not surprising, since canons and rules are written for members of the Orthodox Church, which cannot be said about heterodox and non-believers. Nevertheless, as a fact, baptism took place, and it cannot be called invalid. It is legal and valid, and the baptized one has become a full-fledged Orthodox Christian, because. was baptized by an Orthodox priest in the name of the Holy Trinity. No rebaptism is required; there is no such concept at all in the Orthodox Church. A person is born once physically, he cannot repeat it again. Similarly, only once a person can be born for spiritual life, so there can be only one baptism.

I will allow myself small digression and I will tell the reader how once I had to witness one not very pleasant scene. A young married couple brought their newborn son to the temple for baptism. The couple worked in a foreign company and invited one of their colleagues, a foreigner, a Lutheran, to become godfather. True, a girl of the Orthodox faith was supposed to become a godmother. Neither parents nor future godparents were distinguished by special knowledge in the field of Orthodox dogma. The news of the impossibility of having a Lutheran as godfather of their son was received with hostility by the child's parents. They were asked to find another godfather or to baptize the child with one godmother. But this proposal angered the father and mother even more. The stubborn desire to see this particular person as the successor prevailed over the common sense of the parents and the priest had to refuse to baptize the child. So the illiteracy of the parents became an obstacle to the baptism of their child.

Thank God that such situations no longer occurred in my priestly practice. The curious reader may well assume that there may be some obstacles to receiving the sacrament of baptism. And he will be absolutely right. So:

In what case can a priest refuse a person to be baptized?

Orthodox believe in God the Trinity - Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The founder of the Christian faith was the Son - the Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, a person who does not accept the divinity of Christ and does not believe in the Holy Trinity cannot be an Orthodox Christian. Also, a person who denies the truths of the Orthodox faith cannot become an Orthodox Christian. The priest has the right to refuse to baptize a person if he is going to accept the sacrament as some kind of magical rite or has some pagan belief regarding baptism itself. But this is a separate issue and I will touch on it later.

A very common question about receivers is the question:

Can spouses or those who are about to get married become godparents?

Yes they can. Contrary to popular belief, there is no canonical prohibition for spouses or those about to get married to be godparents to one child. There is only a canonical rule that prohibits the godfather from marrying the child's mother. The spiritual relationship established between them through the sacrament of baptism is higher than any other union, even marriage. But this rule does not affect the possibility of marriage of godparents or the possibility of spouses to become godparents.

Sometimes unchurched parents of children, wanting to choose godparents for their children, ask the following question:

Can people living in a civil marriage become godparents?

At first glance, this is a rather complicated issue, but from the ecclesiastical point of view, it is resolved unambiguously. Such a family cannot be called complete. And in general it is impossible to call prodigal cohabitation a family. After all, in fact, people living in the so-called civil marriage live in fornication. It's a big trouble modern society. People baptized in the Orthodox Church, at least conscious of themselves as Christians, for some incomprehensible reasons, refuse to legitimize their union not only before God (which is undoubtedly more important), but also before the state. There are countless answers to be heard. But, unfortunately, these people simply do not want to understand that they are looking for any excuses for themselves.

For God, the desire to “get to know each other better” or “unwillingness to stain the passport with unnecessary stamps” cannot be an excuse for fornication. In fact, people living in a “civil” marriage trample on all Christian concepts about marriage and family. Christian marriage implies the responsibility of spouses for each other. During the marriage, they become one, and not two different people who made a promise to live under the same roof from now on. Marriage can be compared to two legs of one body. If one leg stumbles or breaks, won't the other leg bear the full weight of the body? And in a "civil" marriage, people do not even want to take responsibility for putting a stamp in their passport.

What then can be said about such irresponsible people, who at the same time want to be godparents? What good can they teach a child? Can they, having very shaky moral foundations, be able to set a good example for their godson? Not at all. Also, according to church canons, people leading an immoral life (“civil” marriage should be regarded in this way) cannot be recipients from the baptismal font. And if these people finally decide to legitimize their relationship before God and the state, then they, moreover, will not be able to be godparents to one child. Despite the apparent complexity of the question, there can be only one answer to it - unambiguously: no.

The topic of gender relations is always very acute in all areas of human life. It goes without saying that this translates into various issues that are directly related to baptism. Here is one of them:

Can a young man (or girl) become a godfather for his bride (groom)?

In this case, they will have to terminate their relationship and limit themselves to only a spiritual connection, because. in the sacrament of baptism, one of them will become the godparent of the other. Can a son marry his own mother? Or a daughter to marry her own father? It is quite obvious that it is not. Of course, church canons cannot allow such a thing to happen.

Much more often than others there are questions about the possible perception of close relatives. So:

Can relatives become godparents?

Grandfathers, grandmothers, uncles and aunts may well become godparents to their little relatives. There is no contradiction to this in church canons.

Can an adoptive father (mother) become a godfather to an adopted child?

According to Canon 53 of the VI Ecumenical Council, this is unacceptable.

Based on the fact that spiritual kinship is established between godparents and parents, an inquisitive reader may ask the following question:

Can the parents of a child become godparents of their godfathers (their godchildren)?

Yes, this is perfectly acceptable. Such an action in no way violates the spiritual kinship established between parents and recipients, but only strengthens it. One of the parents, for example, the mother of the child can become the godmother of the daughter of one of the godfathers. And the father may well be the godfather of the son of another godfather or godfather. There are other options, but, in any case, the spouses cannot become the recipients of one child.

Sometimes people ask this question:

Can a priest be a godfather (including one who performs the sacrament of baptism)?

Yes maybe. In general, this question is very urgent. From time to time I have to hear a request to become a godfather from people completely unfamiliar to me. Parents bring their child to be baptized. For some reason, there was no godfather for the child. They begin to ask to become a godfather to the child, motivating this request by the fact that they heard from someone that in the absence of a godfather, the priest must fulfill this role. You have to refuse and baptize with one godmother. A priest is a person like everyone else, and he may well refuse strangers be godfather to their child. After all, he will have to bear the responsibility for raising his godchild. But how can he do this if he sees this child for the first time and is completely unfamiliar with his parents? And will most likely never see it again. Obviously this is not possible. But a priest (even if he himself will perform the sacrament of baptism) or, for example, a deacon (and the one who will concelebrate with the priest for the sacrament of baptism) may well become godparents for the children of their friends, acquaintances or parishioners. There are no canonical barriers to this.

Continuing the theme of reception, one cannot help but recall such a phenomenon as the desire of parents due to some, sometimes completely incomprehensible, reasons to “take a godfather in absentia”.

Is it possible to take a godfather "in absentia"?

The very meaning of reception presupposes the acceptance by the godfather of his godson from the font itself. By his presence, the godfather agrees to be the recipient of the baptized and undertakes to educate him in the Orthodox faith. This cannot be done in absentia. In the end, the person whom they are trying to “record in absentia” as godparents may not agree to this action at all, and, as a result, the person being baptized may be left without a godfather at all.

Sometimes from parishioners you have to hear questions about the following:

How many times can a person become a godfather?

In the Orthodox Church there is no clear canonical definition as to how many times a person can become a godfather during a lifetime. The main thing that a person who agrees to become a recipient should remember is a great responsibility for which he will have to answer before God. The measure of this responsibility determines how many times a person will be able to take on the reception. For each person, this measure is different and, sooner or later, a person may have to give up a new perception.

Is it possible to refuse to become a godfather? Wouldn't that be a sin?

If a person feels an inner unpreparedness or has fundamental fears that he will not be able to conscientiously fulfill the duties of a godparent, then he may well refuse the parents of the child (or the baptized person himself, if it is an adult) to become their child's godfather. There is no sin in this. It will be more honest in relation to the child, his parents and himself than, having taken responsibility for the spiritual upbringing of the child, not fulfilling his immediate duties.

Continuing this topic, here are a few more questions that people usually ask about the number of possible godchildren.

Can I become a godfather to the second child in the family, if I already had one with the first?

Yes, you can. There are no canonical barriers to this.

Is it possible for one person during baptism to be the recipient of several people (for example, twins)?

There are no canonical restrictions on this. But technically it can be quite difficult if babies are being baptized. The recipient will have to hold and receive both babies from the font at the same time. It would be better if each godson had his own godparents. After all, each of those who are baptized individually is different people entitled to their godfather.

Probably, many will be interested in the following question:

At what age can you become a foster child?

Underage children cannot become godparents. But, even if a person has not yet reached the age of majority, then his age should be such that he can realize the full burden of the responsibility taken upon himself, and will conscientiously fulfill his duties as a godfather. It seems that this may be the age close to adulthood.

The relationship between the child's parents and godparents also plays an important role in the upbringing of children. It is good when parents and godparents have spiritual unity and direct all their efforts towards the proper spiritual upbringing of their child. But human relationships are not always cloudless, and sometimes one has to hear such a question:

What to do if you quarreled with the parents of your godson and for this reason you cannot see him?

The answer suggests itself: to make peace with the parents of the godson. For what can a child be taught by people who have a spiritual relationship and at the same time are at enmity with each other? It is worth thinking not about personal ambitions, but about raising a child and, having gained patience and humility, try to establish relations with the godson's parents. The same can be said for the parents of the child.

But a quarrel is not always the reason that the godfather cannot see the godson for a long time.

What to do if, due to objective reasons, you do not see your godson for years?

I think that the objective reasons are the physical separation of the godfather from the godson. This is possible if the parents moved with the child to another city, country. In this case, it remains only to pray for the godson and, if possible, communicate with him with the help of all available funds connections.

Unfortunately, some godparents, having christened the baby, completely forget about their immediate duties. Sometimes the reason for this is not only the recipient's elementary ignorance of his duties, but his falling into grave sins that make their own spiritual life very difficult. Then the parents of the child involuntarily raise a completely legitimate question:

Is it possible to refuse godparents who do not fulfill their duties, who have fallen into serious sins or lead an immoral lifestyle?

The Orthodox Church does not know the order of refusal of godparents. But parents can find an adult who, not being the actual recipient from the font, would help in the spiritual upbringing of the child. At the same time, one cannot consider him a godfather.

But having such an assistant is better than depriving the child of communication with a spiritual mentor and friend altogether. After all, a moment may come when the child begins to seek spiritual authority not only in the family, but also outside it. And at this moment such an assistant would be very helpful. And a child, as they grow older, can be taught to pray for the godfather. After all, the spiritual connection of a child with a person who took him from the font will not be broken if he takes responsibility for a person who himself has not coped with this responsibility. It happens that children surpass their parents and mentors in prayer and piety.

Prayer for a sinner or a stray will be a manifestation of love for this person. After all, it is not for nothing that the Apostle James says in his epistle to Christians: “Pray for one another that you may be healed; the fervent prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much” (James 5:16). But all these actions must be coordinated with your confessor and receive a blessing on them.

And here is another interesting question that people periodically ask:

When is there no need for godparents?

There is always a need for godparents. Especially for children. But not every adult baptized can boast of a good knowledge of the Holy Scriptures and church canons. If necessary, an adult can be baptized without godparents, because. he has a conscious faith in God and can quite independently pronounce the words of renunciation of Satan, combine with Christ and read the Creed. He is fully accountable for his actions. The same cannot be said for babies and young children. The godparents do it all for them. But, in case of extreme need, you can baptize a child without godparents. Such a need, of course, can be the complete absence of worthy godparents.

Godless time has left its mark on the destinies of many people. The result of this was that some people, after long years of unbelief, finally gained faith in God, but when they came to the temple, they did not know whether they had been baptized in childhood by believing relatives. A logical question arises:

Is it necessary to baptize a person who does not know for sure whether he was baptized in childhood?

According to Canon 84 of the VI Ecumenical Council, such people must be baptized if there are no witnesses who could confirm or deny the fact of their baptism. In this case, a person is baptized, pronouncing the formula: “If not baptized, the servant (slave) of God is baptized ...”.

Something I'm all about children and about children. Among the readers, perhaps, there are also such people who have not yet been honored with the saving sacrament of baptism, but with all their hearts strive for it. So:

What does a person who is preparing to become an Orthodox Christian need to know? How can he prepare for the sacrament of baptism?

A person's knowledge of faith begins with the reading of the Holy Scriptures. Therefore, a person who wants to be baptized, first of all, needs to read the Gospel. After reading the Gospel, a person may have a number of questions that require a competent answer. Such answers can be obtained at the so-called catechumens, which are held in many temples. At such conversations, the fundamentals of the Orthodox faith are explained to those who wish to be baptized. If there are no such conversations at the temple in which the person is going to be baptized, then you can ask all the questions of interest to the priest in the temple. It will also be useful to read some books that explain Christian dogmas, such as the Law of God. It will be good if, before accepting the sacrament of baptism, a person memorizes the Creed, which briefly outlines the Orthodox dogma about God and the Church. This prayer will be read at baptism, and it would be great if the person being baptized himself confessed his faith. Direct preparation begins a few days before baptism. These days are special, so you should not scatter your attention on other, even very important, problems. It is worth devoting this time to spiritual and moral reflections, avoiding fuss, empty talk, participation in various entertainments. It must be remembered that baptism, like the other sacraments, is great and holy. It must be approached with the greatest awe and reverence. It is advisable to observe a fast for 2-3 days, living in marriage on the eve of the night to refrain from marital relations. You need to be extremely clean and tidy for baptism. You can wear new fancy clothes. Women should not wear make-up, as they always do when visiting a temple.

There are many superstitions associated with the sacrament of baptism, which I would also like to touch on in this article. One of the most common superstitions is:

Can a girl be the first to baptize a girl? They say that if a girl is baptized first, and not a boy, then the godmother will give her happiness ...

This statement is also a superstition that has no basis either in the Holy Scriptures or in church canons and traditions. And happiness, if it is deserved before God, will not go anywhere from a person.

Another odd thought I've heard over and over again:

Can a pregnant woman become a godmother? Would this affect her own child or godson in some way?

Yes, you certainly may. Such a delusion has nothing to do with church canons and traditions and is also superstition. Participation in church sacraments can only be to the benefit of the expectant mother. I also had to baptize pregnant women. Babies were born strong and healthy.

A lot of superstitions are associated with the so-called crossing. Moreover, the reasons for such a crazy action are sometimes indicated very bizarre and even funny. But most of of these justifications are pagan and occult in origin. Here, for example, is one of the most common superstitions of occult origin:

Is it true that in order to remove the damage induced on a person, it is necessary to re-baptize, and keep the new name a secret so that new attempts at witchcraft do not work, because. conjure precisely in the name?

To be honest, hearing such statements, I want to laugh heartily. But, unfortunately, it's not funny. What kind of pagan denseness does an Orthodox person need to reach in order to decide that baptism is a kind of magical ritual, a kind of antidote for corruption. An antidote for some vague substance that no one even knows the definition of. What is this ghostly corruption? It is unlikely that anyone who is so afraid of her will be able to clearly answer this question. This is not surprising. Instead of looking for God in life and fulfilling His commandments, the "church" people with enviable zeal are looking for the mother of all evils in everything - damage. And where does it come from?

I will allow myself a small lyrical digression. A man is walking down the street, stumbled. All - jinxed! We urgently need to run to the temple to put a candle so that everything is fine and the evil eye passes. While walking to the temple, he stumbled again. Looks like they not only jinxed it, but also caused damage! Ooh, wicked! Well, nothing, now I will come to the temple, I will pray, I will buy candles, I will stick all the candlesticks, I will fight the corruption with all my might. The man ran to the temple, on the porch he again stumbled and fell. Everyone - lie down and die! Damage to death, a family curse, well, and there is some kind of disgusting thing there, I forgot the name, but also something very terrible. Cocktail "three in one"! Against this, candles and prayer will not help, this is a serious matter, an ancient voodoo spell! There is only one way out - to be baptized again, and only with a new name, so that when these same voodoo slanders on the old name are whispered and needles are stuck into dolls, all their spells fly by. They will not know the new name. And all witchcraft is done in the name, didn’t you know? What fun it will be when they whisper and conjure intensely there, and everything will fly by! Bang, bang and - by! Oh, it's good when there is baptism - a cure for all diseases!

This is how superstitions associated with re-baptism appear. But much more often, the sources of these superstitions are the figures of the occult sciences, i.e. fortunetellers, psychics, healers and other "gifted by God" personalities. These tireless "generators" of newfangled occult terminology use all sorts of tricks to seduce a person. Birth curses, and crowns of celibacy, and karmic knots of fate, translations, love spells with lapels and other occult nonsense are used. And all that needs to be done to get rid of all this is to cross yourself. And there was no damage. And laughter and sin! But many peck at these near-church tricks of "mothers Glafir" and "fathers Tikhonov", and run to the temple for re-baptism. It’s good if they tell them where they have such an ardent desire to cross themselves, and they will be denied this blasphemy, having previously explained what trips to the occultists are fraught with. And some do not even say that they have already been baptized and are baptized again. There are also those who are baptized several times, because. previous baptisms "didn't help". And they won't help! Greater blasphemy over the sacrament is difficult to imagine. After all, the Lord knows the heart of a person, knows about all his thoughts.

It is worth saying a few words about the name, which is so advised to change "good people." A person is given a name on the eighth day from birth, but since many do not know about this, basically a prayer for naming is read by a priest immediately before baptism. Surely everyone knows that the name is given to a person in honor of one of the saints. And it is this saint who is our patron and intercessor for us before God. And, of course, it seems that every Christian should call on his saint as often as possible and ask for his prayers before the throne of the Almighty. But what actually happens? Not only does a person neglect his name, but he also neglects his saint, in whose honor he is named. And instead of calling for help from his heavenly patron, his saint, at the moment of trouble or danger, he visits fortune-tellers and psychics. The “reward” for this will be appropriate.

There is another superstition related directly to the sacrament of baptism itself. Almost immediately after baptism, the rite of hair cutting follows. At the same time, the recipient is given a piece of wax, in which it is supposed to roll the cut hair. This wax receiver must throw into the water. This is where the fun begins. Not sure where the question comes from:

Is it true that if wax with cut hair sinks at baptism, then the life of the person being baptized will be short?

No, this is a superstition. According to the laws of physics, wax cannot sink in water at all. But if you throw it from a height with sufficient force, then at the first moment it will really go under water. Fortunately, if the superstitious godfather does not see this moment and "fortune telling on baptismal wax" will give a positive result. But, as soon as the godfather notices the moment the wax is immersed in water, lamentations immediately begin, and the newly-made Christian is almost buried alive. After that, it is sometimes difficult to get out of a state of terrible depression the parents of a child who are told about the “sign of God” seen at baptism. Of course, this superstition has no basis in church canons and traditions.

Summing up, I would like to note that baptism is a great sacrament, and the approach to it should be reverent and deliberate. It is sad to see people who have received the sacrament of baptism and continue to live their former sinful lives. Having been baptized, a person must remember that now he is an Orthodox Christian, a warrior of Christ, a member of the Church. It owes a lot. First of all, to love. Love for God and neighbor. So let each of us, regardless of when he was baptized, fulfill these commandments. Then we can hope that the Lord will lead us into the Kingdom of Heaven. That Kingdom, the path to which the sacrament of Baptism opens for us.

They say that if you baptize a second child, then the cross is removed from the first - these are all rumors, let's talk all the same about how many times you can be a godmother.

You can become a godmother several times, more precisely, as much as your heart desires. The main thing at the same time is to remember your duties to the godson, which you take on during the sacrament of baptism. Being a spiritual mother and having two or three godchildren (goddaughters), it is necessary to take an active part in their spiritual development, pray for them and never stop communicating with them.

The church refutes the rumors that the first child, becoming a godchild for the second time, is no longer considered a godson, as follows. First, the sacrament of baptism has already been performed and is valid. There is no such thing as the rebaptism of a child in the Orthodox Church, it is the same as being physically born a second time. Secondly, if a woman gave birth to a second child, then it turns out that the first one must be taken away from her, otherwise how to understand the words "the cross is removed from the first child."
Interested in the answer to the question “How many times can you be a godmother?”, Answer yourself at the same time, do you know your duties well. If not, please read them carefully. Otherwise, why baptize a second or third time?

Responsibilities of Godparents

By accepting a child from the hands of a priest, godparents, for life, take responsibility for his Orthodox upbringing. It is for this, in due time, at the Last Judgment, they will have to bear the answer.

When the godson reaches a conscious age, the godmother, like the father, is obliged to teach him the basics of the Orthodox faith. The child must be familiar with Holy Scripture, know the commandments and basic prayers, attend church services.

In turn, his godparents should pray, until the end of their life on earth, for their godson. In addition, teach him faith and piety, introduce him to church sacraments.
I hope all of the above answers the question of how many times you can be a godmother. The main thing then is not to forget why you decided to become a godmother for the umpteenth time. Remember the faith of your godchildren, this is your faith. Being present at the sacrament of baptism, the recipients must offer God their love, their heart and their faith for the godson. And if the child grew up, and he does not have such qualities, it means that his godparents did not have them initially either. This is explained by the fact that the relationship between godparents and their spiritual children is more eternal and stronger than with parents in the flesh.

The custom of having godparents belongs to ancient Apostolic Tradition. Future godparents should be Orthodox believers, those who can give an account of their beliefs. At the time of the child's baptism, the recipients must know the Creed, as it will be necessary to read it at the sacrament. In addition, they must be prepared to give clear answers to the priest's questions, including renouncing Satan and spiritually uniting with Christ.