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Coping with stress is much easier when a child is emotionally stable. To achieve the required balance, parents must adhere to the following rules.
Take time to listen
When you take the time to talk to your child and listen to him, it makes the baby more emotionally resilient. Did you know that active listening tactic liberates a teenager and makes him more open? He realizes that his mother is not indifferent to his life, and begins to share his most intimate experiences more willingly. Set aside 10 minutes for heart-to-heart talk at the end of each day. Ask about problems interacting with friends, about fears, concerns, or situations that could lead to anger. Tell us how to deal with social setbacks and how to deal with disappointments, share your own childhood stories.
Children should be involved in the problem solving process
When parents are overprotective of their child, they get to the point where they can do the hard part. homework or do it for a child design work. This will not benefit the baby, because when he is left alone with the problem, he will droop and drop his hands. An alternative to overprotection is the desire to give the child more powers. Even if the baby encounters some difficulties in completing tasks, do not rush to do everything for him. First ask if the child has any ideas that could help find a solution. Unfortunately, parents rarely offer cooperation, citing lack of time, it is easier for them to do it on their own.
Stimulate growth mindset
Research shows that there are two types of mindset: the fixed mindset and the growth mindset. In the first case, the child initially knows that he is "intelligent" or "not capable of learning", and he carries this model throughout his school life. That is why C students do not want to go out of their way, because they are sure that they will not be able to improve their results. In the second case, children know that success comes with hard work and is proportional to the effort put in. They know how to accept any failure philosophically, realizing that mistakes and failures are an integral part of a unique experience. At the same time, the emotional stability of these children is very high. They are not afraid to tell their parents about deuces and do everything to correct a bad grade.
A fixed mindset leads to unsettling pressure, where every failure is another confirmation of low intelligence. This completely discourages the student's desire to learn and deprives him of prospects. Growth mindset, on the other hand, generates motivation to improve results and is powerful way mind training. Intelligence can be likened to muscles that get stronger and stronger when used more often.
Emotional vocabulary
Every parent wants their child to show emotional intelligence and be able to communicate their own experiences intelligibly. Work on increasing your vocabulary. The more evaluative definitions expressing emotional condition, will use the kid - the better. Let him not hesitate to say how immensely happy he is, why he is angry, or what made him upset. Thus, he will learn not only to distinguish feelings and emotions, but also to describe them better.
Don't be zealous with praise
Praise is comparable to oxygen, but inordinate amounts can demotivate a child. It is important to keep track of which factors you prefer to evaluate and highlight. It is believed that intelligence is given to a child by nature, so you should not praise him for being smart. But the efforts made on the way to achieving success are the merit of the student himself, so they should be appreciated. Parents who don't skimp on praise and focus on the smallest accomplishments of their child will be interested to know that excessive praise contributes to the growth of narcissistic qualities.
Avoid Abuse
When parents not only seek to provide the child with everything necessary, but openly pamper him, this has devastating consequences for the psyche of the baby. Research shows that spoiled children, as adults, experience certain problems with self-esteem, trust and love. Some experts believe that pampering is a peculiar form of child neglect. By using expensive gifts, pocket money and toys parents compensate for the lack of love and attention.
However, this model of interaction deprives the child of the opportunity to form important skills that will be useful in adult life. Children should know that material goods do not fall from the sky, they must be earned through hard work. They also need to know that you can’t always get everything you want, and sometimes you have to put up with disappointment.
Teach the Principles of Mutual Aid
To take an old woman across the street, to bring medicine to a sick grandmother, or to try to lift a kitten from a tree - all these simple truths teach children to care and help each other. Instruct the older children to read to the little ones before going to bed, give feasible assignments in the garden. Community service should not be seen by teenagers as another chance to win the praise of teachers. It's good when a child perceives this as a unique chance to ennoble the school grounds and make their own contribution to the improvement. 
Beware of criticism
Many parents think that criticism can be helpful, but it is not. When you point out the shortcomings or miscalculations of the child, it causes nothing in him but anger and anger. He becomes brash in response, becomes rude and irreverent. Such impudent behavior cannot go unnoticed by parents, and they send a second wave of criticism towards the unlucky teenager. This time they don't like impudence and rudeness. Be patient and try to respectfully listen to the story of the reasons that led to the failure.
Emotion management
Parents must have the skills of negotiators, but for this it is worth learning how to adequately respond to children's emotions. When the child is upset, the mother immediately pesters him with questions. She does this with good intentions, seeking to protect and relieve pain with advice. However, instead of asking the child why he is so upset, ask how you can help to solve the situation? Tell him that sometimes people have to put up with sadness and teach him to recognize emotions on the faces of loved ones.
And if emotions control a person, can he be an effective manager?
Let me give you a familiar situation. Morning meeting. The boss is screaming, his face is red, distorted with righteous anger, he can hardly find words that replace the understandable Russian mat. Employees listen, not because they like it, but because their salary depends on the manager. But response emotions are born inside, there are words that the inner voice pronounces without any censorship, since they will not be spoken aloud. As a result, negatively emotionally charged employees go to customers and pour out all the contents of their spiritual basement in the form of emotions on them. Customers are dissatisfied, they are outraged, so they emotionally convey their indignation at poor service to that same boss.
Morning meeting. The chief shouts... And so every day. Business collapses, health goes. And there's nothing you can do - emotions! Or is there something that can be done? At least think.
The boss screams because he is bitter to see how customers carry money to another place.
According to the theory of psychologists W. James and C. G. Lange,
The boss is bitter because he screams.
Another insight into the situation:
The boss is screaming for
To influence employees
and he is bitter and bad for
to make it work.
Oddly enough, it works, each time a negative experience is successfully acquired, leading to the collapse of the business and the loss of the last remnants of health. So, we thought, is it true that nothing can be changed? After expressing such thoughts to one nice girl, the head of the sales department of a large chain store, she said: “After these reflections, the question hung in the air!” Good. Sometimes questions are more important than answers, while we think, there is a chance to change everything for the better.
Another situation. It so happens that girls at work are more "related" than working. It is important for them who came in what, what news in their personal lives, who left whom, how they painted, and it is imperative to find out the relationship with the one who dared to come to work in the same shoes as mine. The whole attitude is conveyed with the help of rich, often negative emotions, and by dinnertime, emotions are unwinding so that work fades into the background. Clients interfere, because inside the mass of the unspoken boils, and they with their own problems.
Who works in women's team he can imagine it.
Of course, not always and not everywhere, but it happens. Behind all this rejection and showdown are different reasons. But when the leadership tries to put things in order, the scandalous young ladies give an iron argument from their point of view, for example, this: “after she told me this, I just could not restrain myself and exploded!”. What does it mean in translation, after I heard some words, I relieved myself of the obligation to be a decent person and allowed myself to emotionally misbehave.
· Because when emotions came, they began to lead the person, and not he them.
And if the leader believes in the sacred right of his subordinates to make trouble, and not to work, hiding behind surging emotions, then the prospects for the prosperity of the business become very vague.
Think that good manager, is an emotionally stable manager. Why is that? The answer is simple. Negative emotions are expensive. Firstly, in terms of money, and secondly, the most precious thing - health - is wasted. Customers often take money where they are welcome, even if they buy worse products than from a gloomy and unfriendly seller, but offering a better product. Simple truth, smile, friendliness, joy - money attracts. Other emotions and states - anger, irritation, inattention, money "scare away". Since the mind and body are very related systems, then negative emotions strongly affect the deterioration of health. If there is constant negativity in the head, and emotions of irritation and anger on the face, then over time, the person acquires the appearance that he deserves. A mask appears on the face “Do not fit in - it will kill!”, The body becomes like a transformer box, the head is constantly buzzing, because it is hard to carry a lot of negative experiences in oneself. Such people no longer think about a successful, efficient, beautiful life - if only they could survive. And any employer tries to get rid of such people, because they cannot work effectively.
But if the negative emotions that interfere with work are just a habit, what to do?
You can learn how to manage your emotions in Sinton at the training "World of emotions: self-management»
As Epictetus said: “What remedy can be found against habit? The opposite habit.
Dominating your emotions is as good a habit as brushing your teeth in the morning, washing your face, saying hello! When we were small children and did not know how to do any of the above, but we learned. The good news is that it's never too late to start managing your emotions. Especially if you understand how it can be beneficial.
A wild cat, falling into a trap, is silent. Because it's profitable. She knows that if she yells in the forest, she will quickly get eaten in the wild world of forest competition. Step on the tail of a domestic cat - it will yell. A domestic cat in the forest will not survive, she hopes that she will always be taken care of, fed, cared for, protected. The essence of emotions is such that their control leads to success, the lack of control leads to addiction and defeat.
The world of business is a wild forest of competition, with its own laws, rules, and fairness. Only those who can manage their condition, their emotions, their life survive in it. Trainings that will also help you survive and understand the world of business are collected in the sections "
Unfortunately, stress has long been an integral part of our Everyday life. Often, faced with unforeseen situation, an unprepared person does not immediately understand how he needs to react and what to do: call someone for help or solve the problem on his own. When the thoughts in your head are confused, it is simply impossible to make the right decision. But a balanced person with a cold mind is capable of logical, thoughtful actions and accurate calculation. Only the owner of these qualities will be able to independently cope with an unexpected non-standard situation. In order to easily and quickly solve any tasks, while maintaining calm, it is necessary to constantly develop your emotional stability. But not every one of us knows how to develop emotional stability, that is, the ability to maintain control over emotions. For most people, especially overly sensitive women, managing their emotions seems like overwhelming work. But in fact, it is not so difficult to do, of course, if you practice regularly. Psychological training should be done in stages in small steps, each time consolidating the success achieved.
There is currently a large number of trainings where psychologists help everyone to learn the nuances of controlling their own emotions. But it should be borne in mind that during trainings it is necessary to work both on your own thoughts and on your body, since it is known that the human body instantly reacts to any irritating factors.
First steps
- To learn absolute calmness, for a start, one should, like the wise Japanese, work out the skill of peaceful contemplation of beauty (fortunately, there are plenty of beautiful landscapes on our planet). If you do not have the opportunity to regularly spend time in nature, then contemplation of a picturesque picture with a landscape depicted on it is quite suitable for training.
- After you master the skill of contemplation, learn to calmly look at a person (without twitching or looking away). To do this, you need to work out the so-called defocused look, that is, you should look not at one point, but at the person as a whole.
- Get a special notebook-diary. Divide the pages into four columns. Label each of them: “nothing special”, “green”, “yellow”, “red”. Write down all the incidents daily in the columns: in the green column for minor events, under the yellow heading for moderate troubles, and in the red column for terribly unpleasant force majeure situations. The occupation, of course, is painstaking, but such a daily differentiation of life episodes will help you change your reaction to ongoing events and then minor troubles, losing their significance, can migrate from the green column to the “nothing special” column, and what you, for example, will immediately indicated in the red column will be transferred to the yellow. Through a thorough analysis of the events of the day, you will train your emotional resilience to stressful situations and slowly learn not to worry about insignificant things.
Features of the psyche
As you can see, there is nothing complicated in these exercises. If, through your own efforts, you eventually become a calmer and more reasonable person, this will mean that your emotional stability has become higher, and that you have embarked on a path to improve the quality of your life.
The ability to increase the threshold of stress resistance is one of the features of the human psyche. Every time after stressful experiences, our psyche seeks to restore its equilibrium state. It turns out that humanity has a wonderful ability to psychologically adapt to any adverse factors, but the threshold of emotional sensitivity in people is individual. Therefore, in the same stressful moments, we behave differently.
Note! The more you pay attention to your emotional stability, methodically and consistently training your psyche, the faster you can return to a balanced state after experienced troubles.
Emotional stability should be trained, starting with the awareness of one's own weaknesses and shortcomings, because it is they that greatly interfere with the implementation of the plans. After this realization, outline a plan to eliminate them and resolutely proceed to training. After a while, you will begin to notice that your affairs are beginning to be completed successfully and on time, the discontent of others disappears somewhere, and your emotional stability is stabilizing.
For greater stimulation to work on yourself, remind yourself more often that people with low emotional stability, who do not want or are unable to control their emotions, are doomed to a joyless life full of anxieties, experiences, defeats and resentments.
And finally, a piece of advice… Try to get rid of negative emotions in a timely manner, do not accumulate them in yourself, and in no case splash out internal aggression on others.
The modern rhythm of life is not only exhausting physically, but also psychologically. Great amount of people suffers from emotional instability, often breaks down for no reason, cries and falls into hysterics. There are effective recommendations that will normalize the psychological state.
Experts say that each person can create a certain shield around him that will protect him from negativity and help him move through life confidently and with a smile.
- It is important to find the so-called weak link that causes. Someone suffers because of bad relationships in the family or at work. In this case, all you need to do possible ways to eliminate this annoying factor. Many people suffer from lack of time. Psychologists recommend that they make a detailed schedule for each day, which will save a lot of time.
- To become emotionally stable, you need to constantly work on yourself. Experts recommend in a calm environment to understand what is missing to achieve, for example, it may be worth learning foreign language or develop thinking. The right investment in yourself will allow you to feel more confident in life and not react to irritants.
- Important advice how to become emotionally stable - agree with your inner self. Psychologists recommend learning to turn off negative and wrong thoughts in your head. Many people suffer from constant thoughts about any negative situations. It is worth learning to switch to something good and useful.
It is necessary to correctly respond to failures and take them as a recommendation to find new ways to move forward. It is important to be a whole person who cannot be harmed by any problem.
There are people who almost always know how to act with restraint and deliberately, not succumbing to emotions even in moments of the strongest upheavals. It turns out this is precisely because of the presence of emotional stability. It means the ability to find solutions in any situation, as well as not to succumb to the surging negativity. Thanks to this quality, a person can receive good results throughout his life, regardless of the circumstances.
Being emotionally stable - how is it?
The resistance of the individual to influences on the emotional background is achieved through the ability to resist adverse factors. Each time after failure, during the return to the normal state, a person becomes stronger, since he has already experienced something difficult. Many are familiar with such people who have experienced a very difficult life situation and at the same time remained self-sufficient individuals, ready for further development. It is emotional stability that saves such “lucky ones”.
Rice. How to develop emotional stability?
It is worth remembering that successfully confronting difficulties the first time may not work, for this you need to work on yourself. Also, emotional stability is not manifested in all situations. Even the most strong man may be overwhelmed by something insignificant. Each individual person goes his own way, on which he chooses the ways of his development, therefore one should not thoughtlessly imitate strong personalities.
What can be done to develop emotional resilience?
To, you need to follow a few rules. Build them into your behavior and they will begin to work for you, creating a kind of invisible shield against any shocks.
1. Know your weaknesses! If you have been suffering from insecure behavior for a long time, then, while realizing that in this moment you have an unprotected place on the "emotional body". Start writing in your diary weak sides and make efforts to enhance your personality.
2. Grow! Understanding your shortcomings should inspire you to take action to improve the quality of life. Think about what you need to develop at the moment and start working. At the same time, forget about postponing things for tomorrow! You need to get started today!
3. Put things in order in your head! All thoughts that appear in a person every day determine his behavior, mood and quality of life in general, so you should not neglect what is going on in your head. Imagine that all thoughts are musical compositions, and the brain is a player. What should you usually do if you don't like a song? Of course remove it! Replace negativity with positive thoughts that shape aspirations and good mood. Serious problems should not be forgotten, it is better to write down everything that needs to be corrected and make efforts to overcome specific troubles.
4. Accept bad days. Any bad set of circumstances should be a reason to change your behavior. Only in this case it will be possible to achieve positive results. Sometimes it can be very difficult to do, but tomorrow you will thank yourself for showing willpower today.
5. In addition, talk about your feelings to other people, accept difficulties as normal, develop optimism and help other people cope with their troubles. A new hobby can also affect emotional stability. But remember about bodily development, as poor health sometimes causes depressive thoughts.
6. The main rule is to remember that resilience to emotional shocks can solve many of your problems . By daily addressing this thought, you will increase the motivation to develop emotional stability. And as you know, and of course perseverance in achieving the goal.
