(The concept of non-verbal communication, the meaning of sign language in our lives and its use to achieve desired goals, the meaning of some gestures.)
Every day you meet different people, talk to them, convince them of something, and at the same time receive information from them. At the same time, you want to look convincing, self-confident, trustworthy. At the same time, it would be nice to understand how sincere other people are in communicating with us.
Your gestures, posture, gait, facial expressions are a kind of inscription on your back for those who can recognize body language. A gloomy, strict man in a strict suit with a heavy gait and a sharp voice also has his own inscription: "Do as I said!". And a man with slumped shoulders and a sad, preoccupied face announces: "Look how unlucky and tired I am."
In order to correctly understand other people and be able to properly present yourself in the right situation, you should learn to "read" sign language and. After all, two-thirds of the information about your communication partner, about his real feelings and intentions, you draw (consciously or unconsciously) not from his words, but from his gestures, postures, facial expressions, eyes.

non-verbal language- this is the result of not conscious behavior, but impulses of the subconscious. Therefore, it is generally impossible to fake it (except for individual gestures) and it is worth trusting it much more than words.

Looking closely at the movements of the interlocutor, it is important not to get carried away by unambiguous interpretations of individual gestures. A few non-verbal cues plucked from the entire mode of communication can only confuse an inexperienced observer.

If the interlocutor puts his leg aside, this can indicate both his mood and the fact that his leg is numb. If he scratched his nose or chin, this may indicate both a lie and that part of his face was really itchy. Therefore, the gestures of the interlocutor must be looked at in the aggregate, comparing them additionally with facial expressions and speech.

Body language and facial expressions. meaning of some gestures:

Openness gestures. Among the gestures of openness, the following can be considered: when a person’s hands are open, palms up, this indicates his openness, sincerity; when the interlocutor unbuttons his jacket, this is also a sign that the person is open to you and friendly.

defensive gestures. It is like a reaction to conflicts, threats. If the interlocutor crosses his arms over his chest, analyze what you are saying, because he begins to avoid discussion. If a person clenched his hands into fists - also a defensive reaction.

Appreciative gestures. These are gestures of expression of thoughtfulness and reverie. For example, a person holds his hand to his cheek (immersed in deep thought). If the interlocutor evaluates you critically, you may notice that his chin rests on the palm, while the index finger is along the cheek, the remaining fingers will be below the mouth. This position is called “wait and see”. The interlocutor tilted his head - you can be sure that you are being listened to attentively. It happens that in the classroom students often sit with their heads bowed, which means that students are not interested in what the teacher is trying to convey. A person scratches his chin - it means he is busy making a decision.

Bored gestures. Many have seen such a gesture when a person begins to click the cap of a pen, or lowers his head in his hands. These are bored gestures, when a person is not interested, there is nothing to occupy himself with.

Courtship gestures. The woman begins to straighten her hair, smooth her hair, examines herself in the mirror, balances her shoes on her fingertips - a gesture of “beautification”. A man will straighten his tie, jacket, etc.

Gestures of secrecy and suspicion. The interlocutor covers his mouth with his hand - means that he hides his opinion on the issue that is being discussed. If the legs of the interlocutor and the entire body of the body are turned towards the exit, then the person wants to end the conversation and leave as soon as possible. A sign of doubt will be if a person rubs his nose, ear, eyes with his index finger.

Subordination gestures. Gesture of superiority can be expressed in handshakes. A person shakes your hand, while turning it so that his palm lies on top of yours, this is a sign that he is trying to express his own superiority over you. And, on the contrary, palm down - it means accepting a subordinate role.

Gestures of nervousness. Clearing your throat, coughing, jingling coins in your pocket, tugging at your earlobe.

Skillfully using the mechanism non-verbal communication, you can significantly improve the communication process. Everyone knows that there is verbal communication, and there is non-verbal communication (gestures, facial expressions, etc.). Some of the gestures are listed below. So:

By giving your hand with an open palm up, you indicate that you are ready to give the initiative to a communication partner. By covering his palm with yours, you declare in advance your claims to leadership.

A person's gait can also give a lot of information about his character and mood. With a handshake, you can demonstrate authority or humility, firmness or softness and caring.

Arms crossed on the chest indicate closeness and disagreement. By revealing them, you will become more open to perceive the interlocutor and inspire more confidence on his part. Open palms speak of sincerity and goodwill.

The hands folded at the mouth, the finger near the ear, the torso slightly tilted forward indicate interest and readiness to listen to the partner. By such behavior, you will demonstrate respect for the interlocutor and present yourself as a tolerant and open person.

If you want to focus a person's attention on a specific idea, then in key moment connect index and thumb or put all your fingers together. This will emphasize the importance of what was said and the accuracy of your judgments.

Tula State University

in Russian on the topic:

Non-verbal communication and its types

Introduction…………………………………………………………………….3

1. Types of non-verbal communication………………………………...……5

3. Appearance………………………………………………………....8

4. Gestures……………………………………………………...……………9

5. Posture…………………………………………………………………… 11

6. Conclusion………………………………………………………...13

References…………………………………………………………………15

INTRODUCTION

AT social psychology communication is considered to be a special kind of psychological activity, the result of which are formations and changes in the cognitive (images, impressions, concepts, ideas, interpretations, standards, stereotypes), emotional sphere of the personality, changes in the area of ​​its relations and relationships, in the forms of behavior and ways of addressing other people.

Non-verbal communication is a type of relationship for which the use of the organization of interaction as the main means of transmitting information, the formation of an image, the concept of a partner, the exercise of influence on another person of non-verbal behavior and non-verbal communications is characteristic, therefore, non-verbal means are polyfunctional.

There are a number of approaches to non-verbal communication: social-perceptual, communicative, paralinguistic, interactive.

The most ancient direction in the study of non-verbal communication is its study in connection with human speech behavior.

The approach to non-verbal communication is formed at the intersection of the problems of the psychology of non-verbal communication, non-verbal interaction, non-verbal behavior, viewed through the prism of the psychology of expressive behavior, interaction and interpersonal cognition.

The term "expression" is translated into Russian as expressiveness, a vivid manifestation of feelings, moods. Expression is also interpreted as the presentation to the outside (to another person, group of persons) hidden for direct observation psychological features personality.

Expressiveness means the degree of expression of one or another feeling, mood, state, attitude, etc. In domestic psychology, the term “expressiveness of movement” is adopted, which is used to separate movements from other types of movements that perform the functions of expression outside the psychological, personal characteristics of a person. The psychology of expressive behavior considers a wide range of means by which a person expresses himself or his features can be expressed by an observer. The class of means that reveal the uniqueness of the personality includes facial expressions, gestures, postures, body shape, hairstyle, cosmetics, jewelry, clothing, speech style, handwriting, drawing, environment etc.

Within the framework of the psychology of expressive or non-verbal behavior, individual expressive non-verbal behavior of a dyad, group, or person has been singled out as separate objects of study.

In each of these areas, the tasks are to determine the degree of stability of the relationship between expressive non-verbal behavior and the socio-psychological characteristics of an individual and a group, to determine non-verbal codes, ways to fix them, to establish features of decoding, interpretation of personality expressive codes using examples of behavior patterns.

1. TYPES OF NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Non-verbal communication is a type of communication without the use of words.

It plays a big role in the exchange of emotions both between people and between animals, including between humans and trained animals.

Observations have shown that in the processes of communication 60% -95% of information is transmitted through non-verbal communication.

Appearance, clothes, posture

Facial expressions, smile, look,

movement,

dance, walk

Nodding and shaking the head, shaking the limbs, pointing the limbs, imitating some behavior (for example, swinging two fingers pointing downwards resembles a walking leg);

Applause;

touch;

Handshake;

Embrace;

Behavior, actions: confidence, caution, indifference, aggressiveness;

Facial expressions - imitation of behavior

Personal space

A voice is a sound made by a person when talking, singing, screaming, laughing, crying. Voice production occurs by exhaling air from the lungs through the mouth and nose, while the vocal cords vibrate and create sound waves in the air passing through them.

The human vocal apparatus includes the oral and nasal cavities with adnexal cavities, pharynx, larynx with vocal cords, trachea, bronchi, lungs, chest with respiratory muscles and diaphragm, abdominal muscles. Central nervous system organizes their functions into a single, holistic process sound formation, which is a complex psychophysical act.

There is a direct relationship between voice and hearing: the voice cannot develop without the participation of hearing, hearing cannot develop without the participation of the vocal organs. The voice of the deaf person does not function, because there are no auditory perceptions, and, accordingly, there is no stimulation of the speech-motor centers.

In speech, a barely noticeable change in the technique of pronunciation, in the relative position of the parts of the vocal apparatus, can create a sound that is completely different in meaning and meaning. With the help of voice intonation alone in speech, it is possible to convey the interrogative nature of the statement without using any additional grammatical means. By the tone, intonation with which the request was made, one can tell how important this request is for the speaker, and whether it is a request to do a friendly favor or is more like an order. For example, the expression "Sorry" can be pronounced with many different intonations and have, accordingly, a completely different meaning: it can be a request for forgiveness, or it can mean: "I have the right to do this, even if you do not like it."

The human voice is a complex instrument. People have vocal cords that can stretch and contract, change their thickness; a person can arbitrarily change the air pressure, the intensity of the air flow supplied to the vocal cords. The form chest, larynx, the position of the tongue, the degree of tension of other muscles may vary. The result of any of these actions will be changes in the pitch, strength, timbre, emotional coloring of the extracted sound.

3. APPEARANCE

Appearance is how other people see and perceive another person. This is an important part of non-verbal communication.

Good appearance highly dependent on features.

Neat and clean appearance

Free natural behavior

Grammatically correct speech

Decent Manners

Calm response to praise and criticism

Charisma.

It is very important for a person to properly control his body and convey with the help of facial expressions and gestures exactly the information that is required in a given situation. This is of particular importance for a politician and a diplomat, a businessman and an actor, a university teacher and a TV show host, a judge and a lawyer.

Psychologists usually distinguish, firstly, communicative means of communication, that is, those that are perceived and understood by one of the partners in accordance with the intention of the other, and, secondly, informative means of communication, understanding by them those that are “read” by the second partner in addition to the desire of the first. By carefully observing a person's behavior, you can learn a lot about his true intentions. Psychologists have found that in the process interpersonal communication We draw from 60 to 80% of information about the interlocutor through the so-called non-verbal means of communication - gestures, facial expressions, body movements, intonation, and the choice of a certain distance between partners. A person controls his gestures and postures much less than his words; that is why they can tell more about him than direct statements. An involuntary squeamish grimace, a belated hand, unwillingness to look you in the eye - all this will sometimes tell you much more than the most ardent assurances of friendship or desire to cooperate. By learning to "read" other people's gestures, you can recognize whether they are sincere or deceitful, whether they are friendly or hostile to you. You also need to remember that your acquaintances can make similar observations on your own behavior.

Understanding the so-called body language (body language) is absolutely necessary for someone who, by the nature of his activity, must convince his interlocutors of something, persuade them to commit certain acts, such as concluding trade deals or investing money in any enterprises. It will be much easier for you to achieve this if you manage to inspire sympathy and trust in yourself.

The posture during a conversation means a lot: interest in the conversation, subordination, desire for joint activities etc. If your partner is sitting almost motionless, wearing dark glasses, and even covering the records with his hands, you feel extremely uncomfortable. Therefore, when business meetings you should not take a pose that characterizes closeness in communication and aggressiveness: frowning eyebrows, head slightly tilted forward, elbows wide apart on the table, clenched into fists or clasped fingers. Avoid wearing tinted glasses, especially when you first meet. Not seeing the eyes of the interlocutor, the partner may feel embarrassed, since a significant amount of information is inaccessible to him. As a result, it will break general atmosphere communication.

Introduction ................................................ ................................................. ... 2

1. Non-verbal means of communication and their classification……………... 3

2. The role of non-verbal communication………………………………………… 13-14

3. 25 non-verbal communicative gestures………………………… 14-16

Conclusion……………………………………………………………….. 17

List of used literature……………………………………. eighteen

INTRODUCTION

Currently, in the process of human communication, not the last place is given to “non-verbal communication”.

Communicating with friends, colleagues and relatives, we very often resort to this method of communication, and basically we do it not arbitrarily, subconsciously. Non-verbal "language" in many ways creates the first impression of us and those around us, and determines our attitude and reaction to each other. If people were conscious of these silent signals, they would immediately discover the possibility of using them more fully and effectively.

Learning to properly understand the "language" of non-verbal communication is important for several reasons. Firstly, it is almost impossible to convey feelings in words, since we convey them with gestures, since words alone are often not enough. Secondly, being able to communicate non-verbally means being able to control yourself, since non-verbal communication tells us what people really think. Finally, non-verbal communication occurs spontaneously and unconsciously. In addition to words, it is difficult for a person to control facial expressions, gestures and intonation, so we often give ourselves away with their help. Non-verbal means rarely provide false information, due to the fact that they are less subject to our control, unlike verbal communication.

Scientists have proven that two-thirds of the information that comes to us during a personal conversation with an interlocutor is transmitted precisely in a non-verbal way.

Non-verbal behavior:

Creates an image of a communication partner

Shows the emotional and psychological state of the individual

Shows status-role relationships

Maintains an optimal level of intimacy between partners

Strengthens the emotional coloring of what was said.

1. Non-verbal means of communication and their classification.

Communication - this is the process of exchanging information using verbal and non-verbal means in order to convey and understand the communicating subject and personal meaning of messages.

The processes of transmitting and receiving information are carried out using verbal speech and various non-verbal non-verbal means, such as voice intonation and gestures, facial expressions and pantomime. The purpose of these processes is to establish mutual understanding, to convey some thought, feeling, to set a task.

Non-verbal communication- this is communication with the help of facial expressions, gestures and pantomime, through direct, sensory or bodily contacts.

Human communication cannot be likened to a telephone conversation, where people exchange information through verbal messages. Emotions of the communicants are involved in the communication of people, which in a certain way relate to both communication and those who are involved in communication. This emotional attitude that accompanies a speech statement forms a special non-verbal communication. Non-verbal communication does not involve the use of spoken language, natural language as a means of communication. Most of the non-verbal forms and means of communication in a person are innate and allow him to interact, achieving mutual understanding at the emotional and behavioral levels, not only with his own kind, but also with other living beings. Many of the higher animals, including dogs, monkeys and dolphins, have been given the ability to communicate non-verbally with each other and with humans.

Thanks to non-verbal communication, a person gets the opportunity to develop psychologically even before he has mastered and learned to use speech (about two to three years). In itself, non-verbal communication contributes to the development and improvement of a person's communication capabilities, as a result of which he becomes more capable of interpersonal contacts and opens up wider opportunities for development.

Non-verbal means of communication are divided into 6 groups:

Optokinetic

Paralinguistic

Extralinguistic

proxemic

Tactile

Olfactory

1. Optokinetic.

Optokinetic means of communication are the most significant group in the environment of non-verbal communication. They are studied by a science called kinesics.

Kinesics is a science that studies the regularity of human body movements on the principle of information models. In other words, kinesics studies the totality of body movements used in the process of human communication.

These means of communication include:

Gesticulation

Pantomime

Direction of view

visual contact

Redness and blanching of the skin

Stereotypes of motor skills

Gesticulation - it is a system of sign human movements that accompanies or replaces verbal communication. Scientists have found that 55% of the information a person transmits with gestures, and with the help of words only 7%.

There is a classification of gestures, according to which they are divided into four groups:

1. common gestures;

2. emotional gestures (depending on the culture of the country);

3. individual gestures (inherent to a particular person);

4. ritual gestures (for example, greeting).

Gestures enrich our communication with brightness and emotionality. The meaning of the same gestures in different countries may be interpreted in different ways. For example, the European negative turning of the head from side to side in Greece, Bulgaria and Turkey will be accepted by everyone as a sign of consent. Psychology has been studying the meaning of human gestures for many years, and to a certain extent, scientists have managed to draw many conclusions about this or that gesture.

Here are some examples of the interpretation of human gestures:

Ear touch. Ear scratching is a "lighter" version of plugging the ears, and means that the person does not want to listen to his interlocutor.

Supporting the palm of the chin. The person props his head or chin up if he is bored or uninterested and fights his urge to sleep.

Chin stroking. This gesture indicates that the interlocutor is at the stage of reflection and is considering possible options for himself.

facial expressions- expressive movements of the muscles of the face, which are one of the forms of manifestation of certain feelings of a person - joy, sadness, disappointment, satisfaction, etc. It was also established by Darwin that facial expressions are rooted in the animal world. We have many common facial expressions - fear, fright, anxiety. However, a person has both specific feelings and their mimic expression - a state of admiration, sympathy, enthusiasm, etc.

There are two types of facial expressions:

Involuntary (reflex) everyday facial expressions;

Arbitrary (conscious) facial expressions.

Facial expressions, as well as speech, can be used by a person to convey false information.

Pantomime- a set of expressive movements of the face, head, limbs and torso that accompany speech and emotions. The reliability of pantomime is based on the fact that most of its manifestations occur spontaneously and are not controlled by our consciousness. Knowledge of pantomime allows you to understand more than the interlocutor says.

visual contact is a means of mutual regulation of the process of conversation. visual contact is important element communication. Looking at the speaker helps us focus on what is being said. It is much easier for us to maintain eye contact with the speaker when discussing a pleasant topic, but we avoid it when discussing unpleasant issues. Eye contact helps regulate the conversation.

According to the specifics, the look can be:

- Business- when the gaze is fixed on the forehead of the interlocutor, this implies the creation of a serious atmosphere of business partnership;

- Social- the gaze is concentrated in the triangle between the eyes and the mouth, this contributes to the creation of an atmosphere of easy communication;

- Intimate- the gaze is directed not into the eyes of the interlocutor, but below the face - to the level of the chest. Such a view indicates a great interest in each other in communication;

- Sideways glance a is used to convey interest or hostility. If it is accompanied by slightly raised eyebrows or a smile, it indicates interest. If it is accompanied by a frowning forehead or lowered corners of the mouth, this indicates a critical or suspicious attitude towards the interlocutor.

Speech is the main way of transferring information between people. However, this method is not the only one. Non-verbal communication also plays an important role. The main means of non-verbal transmission of information include gestures, facial expressions, gaze and posture. They can tell a lot about the character of a person and his attitude towards the interlocutor.

Kinesics in psychology is a science that studies the totality of gestures, facial expressions and pantomimes that accompany the process of human communication. People do not control their body movements as much as words, so observing the interlocutor's facial expression and gestures provides an opportunity to obtain additional information. Often, with gestures and facial expressions, a person can express much more important information than the one he is trying to put into words.

There are other branches of psychology that study the features of non-verbal communication. These include proxemics, which studies the spatial relationships of people, and takesics, which studies the language of touch.

facial expressions

Voluntary and involuntary movements of the muscles of the face are called facial expressions. Facial expressions are an important element of non-verbal communication. The movements of the facial muscles help a person more fully convey information to the interlocutor, demonstrate their mood and attitude to the topic of conversation. With the help of facial expressions, people express the main set of emotions - joy, sadness, anger, fear, surprise, disappointment. A single smile can have many meanings. It can be joyful, tense, contemptuous, polite, sad, etc.

Since a person is able to voluntarily move facial muscles, he can consciously increase or, conversely, restrain the manifestation of emotions. Therefore, for a more complete assimilation of information, it is necessary to take into account the words that the interlocutor says and his facial expressions.

Sight

The gaze is closely related to facial expressions. Visual contact is very important during the conversation. From the look of the interlocutor, you can understand whether he is telling the truth or lying, whether he is interested in the conversation, feels confident or embarrassed.

The more relaxed the participants in the conversation feel, the more often their views intersect. An interlocutor who hides his eyes does not inspire confidence. Pupils can also tell a lot. Pupil dilation indicates that the person is in good location spirit, excited or interested in conversation. Constriction of the pupils, on the contrary, indicates a bad mood.

Gestures

Gestures are various movements of the hands and head. Gesticulation during a conversation, as well as facial expressions, carries a lot of information. The more active the conversation, the more intense the gestures of its participants become.

There are several main types of gestures:

• Communicative- gestures that people use to greet, say goodbye, attract attention, etc.
• Modal- with their help, a person expresses his attitude to the interlocutor or situation (approval, disapproval, satisfaction, trust or distrust).
• descriptive- gestures that are used only in the context of a specific conversation.

For representatives of different cultures, the same gestures can have completely different meanings. For example, greeting different peoples expressed in many ways: nodding, bowing, raising hands, kissing, shaking hands, and even clashing heads. In some nationalities, it is customary to sniff each other, hit a friend on the head or shoulder with a fist, bend your arms in a certain gesture, and much more.

As a result, misunderstandings often arise between representatives of different cultures. To foreigners, many gestures seem strange and unusual. For example, in many countries the main gesture of greeting is a handshake. But representatives of some nations consider physical contact between unfamiliar people unacceptable.

Pose

The postures that a person takes during communication can also tell a lot. The position of the body is the least subject to conscious control, so the posture of the interlocutor speaks of his true state much more eloquently than facial expressions and gestures.

This happens because people from a very early age are taught to control their emotions and facial expressions, but they are not taught to control their posture. Therefore, it is the position of the body that the interlocutor takes during a conversation that best betrays his true feelings. In the process of communication, depending on the direction in which the conversation turned, the postures of its participants can change significantly. This is also important to consider when transferring business or personal information.

Psychologists distinguish three main groups of postures:

• Open or closed. If a person is disposed to communicate, he smiles, his posture is relaxed, his palms are open, his torso is turned towards the interlocutor. If a person is closed, he crosses his arms and legs, deviates from the interlocutor, clasps his fingers.
• Dependence or dominance. A person striving for dominance can hang over the interlocutor, pat him on the arm, shoulder, look down. Dependence is expressed by looking up from below, lowering the head.
• Harmony or opposition. Harmony is expressed in a pose that corresponds to the position of the interlocutor. Confrontation manifests itself in the form of clenched fists, a forward shoulder, a militantly raised chin, hands located on the sides or on the hips.

Gait

Gait is the way a person moves. This includes the width and rhythm of the step, movements during walking, the position of the torso and head. The gait includes components that can tell about the physical and mental well-being of a person, the features of his character and temperament.

A heavy gait is inherent in people who are in a bad, depressed mood, while a light one, on the contrary, is characteristic of optimists. An insecure person walks with his head down and his back hunched. Confident – ​​carried straight with head held high and shoulders squared.

Active and enterprising people walk quickly and confidently, often waving their arms when walking. Secretive people keep their hands in their pockets or hidden behind their backs. A person engaged in mental activity walks slowly, with a thoughtful look. People of a demonstrative temperament lift their chins high, walk on straight legs, trying to emphasize their superiority.

Most common gestures

There are a great many gestures with which a person can express the whole gamut of feelings. As an example, consider the most common gestures and their meaning.

• Touching the ear or scratching it indicates that the person does not like what the interlocutor is talking about.
• Chin-holding indicates boredom and a desire to end the conversation as soon as possible.
• Stroking or scratching the chin indicates contemplation and reflection.
• Tapping your fingers or other objects on a table, glancing at your watch, tapping your foot on the floor, or jiggling your feet indicates impatience.
• Open palms, an unbuttoned jacket or jacket indicate a willingness to communicate and openness.
• Crossing arms and legs, a closed posture indicates distrust or unwillingness to communicate.
• Rubbing or scratching the neck indicates doubt and insecurity.
• Hands placed behind the back or behind the head indicate the desire of the interlocutor to show his superiority.
• Taking off and wiping glasses, biting the temples indicate reflection.
• Covering the mouth with the palm of the hand means secrecy or lies, the interlocutor does not say something or says deliberately false information.
• Hands in pockets indicate secrecy or unwillingness to participate in a conversation. If thumbs protrude out of the pockets, the interlocutor seeks to dominate.

There is a lot of literature devoted to the means of non-verbal communication. By studying the meanings of facial expressions, gestures, postures and views, you can learn to better understand people, see their true feelings, and distinguish truth from lies in a conversation. This knowledge will help you significantly improve your life and achieve greater success in your career and interpersonal communication.

Our ideas about non-verbal communication are reflected in many generally accepted phraseological units. O happy people we say they are “overflowing” with happiness or “shining” with happiness. Of people who are afraid, we say that they are "frozen" or "petrified." Anger or anger is described with words such as “burst” with anger or “tremble” with rage. Nervous people “bite their lips,” that is, feelings are expressed through non-verbal communication. And although the opinions of experts in assessing the exact figures differ, it is safe to say that more than half of interpersonal communication is non-verbal communication. Listening to the interlocutor therefore also means understanding the language of non-verbal communication.

Language of non-verbal communication

Non-verbal communication, commonly known as "sign language", includes forms of self-expression that do not rely on words and other speech symbols.
Learning to understand the language of non-verbal communication is important for several reasons. Firstly, only factual knowledge can be conveyed in words, but to express feelings, words alone are often not enough. Sometimes we say, "I don't know how to put it into words," meaning that our feelings are so deep or complex that we can't find a way to express them. suitable words. Nevertheless, feelings that are not amenable to verbal expression are transmitted in the language of non-verbal communication. Secondly, knowledge of this language shows how much we can control ourselves. If the speaker finds it difficult to cope with anger, he raises his voice, turns away, and sometimes behaves even more defiantly. Non-verbal language tells us what people really think of us. An interlocutor who points a finger, stares intently and constantly interrupts, experiences completely different feelings than a person who smiles, behaves at ease and (most importantly!) Listens to us. Finally, non-verbal communication is especially valuable because it is usually spontaneous and manifests itself unconsciously. Therefore, despite the fact that people weigh their words and sometimes control facial expressions, it is often possible to "leak" hidden feelings through facial expressions, gestures, intonation and voice coloring. Any of these non-verbal elements of communication can help us to verify the correctness of what is said in words, or, as it sometimes happens, to question what is said.
It is well known that non-verbal language is understood by all people in the same way. For example, arms crossed on the chest correspond to a defensive reaction. But it is not always the case. Specific non-verbal expressions, such as the same crossed arms, are understood in different ways: the meaning depends on the specific situation in which this posture occurs naturally.
Writer Julius Fast tells the story of a fifteen-year-old Puerto Rican girl who was caught in a group of smoking girls. Most of the smokers were indisciplined, but Livia did not show any violations of school order. However, the headmaster, after talking with Livia, decided to punish her. The director referred to her suspicious behavior, which was expressed in the fact that she did not look into his eyes: he took this as an expression of guilt. This incident provoked a protest from the mother. Luckily the school teacher Spanish explained to the director that in Puerto Rico a polite girl never looks adults in the eye, which is a sign of respect and obedience. This case shows that the “words” of non-verbal language have different meanings for different peoples.
Usually in communication, we achieve an accurate understanding of non-verbal language when we associate it with a specific situation, as well as with the social position and cultural level of a particular interlocutor.
At the same time, some people understand non-verbal language better than others. The results of a number of studies show that women are more accurate both in the transfer of their feelings, and in the perception of the feelings of others, expressed in non-verbal language. The abilities of men who work with people, for example, psychologists, teachers, actors, are rated just as highly. Understanding of non-verbal language is mainly acquired through learning. However, it should be remembered that people are very different from each other in this regard. As a rule, sensitivity in non-verbal communication increases with age and experience.

Facial expression (facial expression)

Facial expression - main indicator feelings. The most easily recognized positive emotions are happiness, love, and surprise. It is difficult to perceive, as a rule, negative emotions - sadness, anger and disgust. Usually emotions are associated with facial expressions as follows:

• surprise - raised eyebrows, wide-open eyes, downturned lips, parted mouth;
• fear - eyebrows raised and brought together above the bridge of the nose, eyes wide open, the corners of the lips are lowered and somewhat laid back, the lips are stretched to the sides, the mouth can be open;
• anger - eyebrows are lowered, wrinkles on the forehead are curved, eyes are screwed up, lips are closed, teeth are clenched;
• disgust - the eyebrows are lowered, the nose is wrinkled, the lower lip is protruded or raised and closed with the upper lip;
• sadness - eyebrows are drawn together, eyes are extinct; often the corners of the lips are slightly lowered;
• happiness - the eyes are calm, the corners of the lips are raised and usually laid back.

Artists and photographers have long known that the human face is asymmetrical, with the result that the left and right sides of our face can reflect emotions in different ways. Recent studies attribute this to the fact that the left and right sides of the face are under the control of different hemispheres of the brain. The left hemisphere controls speech and intellectual activity, while the right hemisphere controls emotions, imagination and sensory activity. The control connections are criss-crossed so that the work of the dominant left hemisphere is reflected on the right side of the face and gives it a more controllable expression. Since the work of the right hemisphere of the brain is reflected on the left side of the face, it is more difficult to hide feelings on this side of the face. Positive emotions are reflected more or less evenly on both sides of the face, negative emotions are more pronounced on the left side. However, both hemispheres of the brain function together, so the differences described relate to the nuances of expression. Human lips are especially expressive. Everyone knows that tightly compressed lips reflect deep thoughtfulness, curved lips - doubt or sarcasm. A smile, as a rule, expresses friendliness, a need for approval. At the same time, smiling as an element of facial expressions and behavior depends on regional and cultural differences: for example, southerners tend to smile more often than residents of northern regions. Since a smile can reflect different motives, you should be careful in interpreting the interlocutor's smile. However, excessive smiling, for example, often expresses a need for approval or deference to superiors. A smile accompanied by raised eyebrows usually expresses a willingness to obey, while a smile with lowered eyebrows expresses superiority.
The face expressively reflects feelings, so the speaker usually tries to control or mask his expression. For example, when someone accidentally bumps into you or makes a mistake, they usually experience the same unpleasant feeling as you and instinctively smile, as if expressing a polite apology. In this case, the smile can be in a certain sense "prepared" and therefore forced, betraying a mixture of concern and apology.

visual contact

Visual contact is an extremely important element of communication. Looking at the speaker means not only interest, but also helps us focus on what we are being told. During a conversation, the speaker and the listener alternately look, then turn away from each other, feeling that a constant look can prevent the interlocutor from concentrating. Both the speaker and the listener look into each other's eyes for no more than 10 seconds. This most likely occurs before the start of a conversation or after a few words from one of the interlocutors. From time to time the eyes of the interlocutors meet, but this lasts much less time than each interlocutor keeps looking at each other.
It is much easier for us to maintain eye contact with the speaker when discussing a pleasant topic, but we avoid it when discussing unpleasant or confusing issues. In the latter case, the refusal of direct visual contact is an expression of courtesy and understanding. emotional state interlocutor. Persistent or intent gaze in such cases causes indignation and is perceived as an interference with personal experiences. Moreover, a persistent or fixed gaze is usually taken as a sign of hostility.
It is necessary to know that certain aspects of relationships are expressed in the way people look at each other. For example, we tend to look more at those we admire or with whom we have a close relationship. Women also tend to make more eye contact than men. Usually people avoid eye contact in competitive situations so that this contact is not understood as an expression of hostility. In addition, we tend to look at the speaker more when they are at a distance: the closer we are to the speaker, the more we avoid eye contact. Usually, eye contact helps the speaker feel like they are talking to you and make a good first impression. But a closer look usually creates an unfavorable impression of us.
Eye contact helps regulate the conversation. If the speaker then looks into the eyes of the listener, then looks away, this means that he has not finished speaking yet. At the end of his speech, the speaker, as a rule, looks directly into the eyes of the interlocutor, as if saying: "I've said everything, now it's your turn."

Intonation and timbre of the voice

The listener, like the one who reads between the lines, understands more than the words of the speaker mean. He hears and evaluates the strength and tone of the voice, the speed of speech. He notices deviations in the construction of phrases, such as incomplete sentences, notes frequent pauses. These vocal expressions, along with word selection and facial expressions, are helpful in understanding the message.
Tone of voice is a particularly valuable key to understanding the feelings of the interlocutor. A famous psychiatrist often asks himself, "What does the voice say when I stop listening to the words and only listen to the tone?" Feelings find their expression regardless of the meaning of the words. Feelings can be clearly expressed even when reading the alphabet. Easily recognized are usually anger and sadness, nervousness and jealousy are those feelings that are more difficult to recognize.
The strength and pitch of the voice are also useful cues for deciphering the speaker's message. Some feelings, such as enthusiasm, joy, and disbelief, are usually conveyed in a high voice. Anger and fear are also expressed in a high voice, but in a wider range of tonality, strength and pitch. Feelings such as sadness, grief, and fatigue are usually conveyed in a soft and muffled voice, with a drop in intonation towards the end of each phrase.
The speed of speech also reflects the feelings of the speaker. People speak quickly when they are excited or worried about something, when talking about their personal difficulties. Anyone who wants to convince or persuade us usually speaks quickly. Slow speech often indicates depression, grief, arrogance, or fatigue.
By making minor mistakes in speech, such as repeating words, choosing them uncertainly or incorrectly, breaking off sentences in mid-sentence, people involuntarily express their feelings and reveal their intentions. Uncertainty in the choice of words appears when the speaker is not sure of himself or is going to surprise us. Usually speech deficiencies are more pronounced in a state of excitement or when the interlocutor is trying to deceive us.
It is also important to understand the meaning of interjections, sighs, nervous coughs, snorts, etc. This series is endless. After all, sounds can mean more than words. This is also true for sign language.

Poses and gestures

A person's attitude and feelings can be determined by motor skills, that is, by the way he stands or sits, by his gestures and movements.
When the speaker leans towards us during a conversation, we perceive it as courtesy, apparently because such a posture indicates attention. We feel less comfortable with those who lean back or collapse in their chair while talking to us. It is usually easy to converse with those who adopt a relaxed posture. (People with a higher position can also take this position, probably because they are more confident in themselves at the moment of communication and usually do not stand, but sit, and sometimes not straight, but leaning back or leaning to one side.)
The slope at which sitting or standing interlocutors feel comfortable depends on the nature of the situation or on differences in their position and cultural level. People who know each other well or collaborate on work usually stand or sit side by side with each other. When they meet visitors or negotiate, they feel more comfortable facing each other. Women often prefer to talk, somewhat leaning towards the interlocutor or standing next to him, especially if they know each other well. Men in a conversation prefer the position facing each other, except in situations of rivalry. The Americans and the British sit to the side of the interlocutor, while the Swedes tend to avoid this position. Arabs tilt their heads forward.
When you don't know what position your interlocutor feels most comfortable in, watch how they stand, sit, move a chair, or move when they think they're not being watched.

The meaning of many hand gestures or foot movements is somewhat obvious. For example, crossed arms (or legs) usually indicate a skeptical, defensive attitude, while uncrossed limbs express a more open, trusting attitude. They sit with their chin resting on their palms, usually in thought. Stand with your hands on your hips -. a sign of disobedience or, conversely, readiness to get to work. Hands behind the head express superiority. During a conversation, the heads of the interlocutors are in constant motion. Although head nodding does not always signify agreement, it can effectively help the conversation, as if giving permission to the interlocutor to continue speaking. Head nods also have a positive effect on the speaker in a group conversation, so speakers usually address their speech directly to those who constantly nod. However, a quick tilt or turn of the head to the side, gesticulation often indicates that the listener wants to speak.
It is usually easy for both speakers and listeners to converse with those who have a lively expression and expressive motor skills.

Active gestures often reflect positive emotions and are perceived as a sign of interest and friendliness. Excessive gesturing, however, can be an expression of anxiety or insecurity.

Interpersonal space

Another important factor in communication is interpersonal space - how close or far the interlocutors are in relation to each other. Sometimes we express our relationships in spatial terms, such as "stay away" from someone we don't like or fear, or "stay close" to someone we're interested in. Usually, the more interlocutors are interested in each other, the closer they sit or stand to each other. However, there is a certain distance limit between interlocutors (at least in the United States), it depends on the type of interaction and is defined as follows:

• intimate distance (up to 0.5 m) corresponds to an intimate relationship. It can be found in sports - in those types of sports where there is contact between the bodies of athletes;
• interpersonal distance (0.5-1.2 m) - for a conversation between friends with or without contact with each other;
• social distance (1.2-3.7 m) - for informal social and business relations, and the upper limit is more in line with formal relations;
• public distance (3.7 m or more) - at this distance it is not considered rude to exchange a few words or refrain from communication.

Generally, people feel comfortable and make a favorable impression when standing or sitting at a distance consistent with the above interactions. Excessively close, as well as excessively distant position, negatively affects communication.
In addition, the closer people are to each other, the less they look at each other, as if as a sign of mutual respect. On the contrary, being at a distance, they look at each other more and use gestures to maintain attention in a conversation.
These rules vary considerably by age, gender, and cultural level. For example, children and old people stay closer to the interlocutor, while teenagers, young people and middle-aged people prefer a more distant position. Usually women stand or sit closer to the interlocutor (regardless of his gender) than men. Personal characteristics also determine the distance between interlocutors: a balanced person with self-esteem comes closer to the interlocutor, while restless, nervous people stay away from the interlocutor.
Social status also affects the distance between people. We usually keep to long distance from those whose position or authority is higher than ours, while people of equal status communicate at a relatively close distance.
Tradition is also an important factor. Residents of countries Latin America and the Mediterranean tend to approach the interlocutor closer than the inhabitants of the Nordic countries.
The table can affect the distance between interlocutors. The table is usually associated with high position and power, so when the listener sits on the side of the table, the relationship takes the form of role-playing communication. For this reason, some administrators and managers prefer to conduct personal conversations not at their desk, but next to the interlocutor - on chairs that stand at an angle to each other.

Response to non-verbal communication

Interestingly, when responding to the speaker's non-verbal behavior, we involuntarily (subconsciously) copy his postures and facial expressions. Thus, we seem to say to the interlocutor: “I am listening to you. Go on.”
How to respond to non-verbal communication of the interlocutor? Usually, you should respond to a non-verbal “message” taking into account the entire context of communication. This means that if the facial expressions, tone of voice and posture of the speaker correspond to his words, then there are no problems. In this case, non-verbal communication helps to more accurately understand what was said. When, however, non-verbal "messages" contradict the words of the speaker, we tend to prefer the former, because, as the popular proverb says, one will be judged not by words, but by deeds.
When the discrepancy between words and non-verbal "messages" is small, as is the case when someone hesitantly invites us somewhere several times, we may or may not respond with words to these conflicting expressions. Much depends on the participants in the communication, the nature of their relationship and the specific situation. But we rarely ignore gestures and facial expressions. They often force us to delay the fulfillment of, for example, an expressed request.
In other words, our understanding of non-verbal language tends to be late. Therefore, when we receive “conflicting signals” from the speaker, we can express the answer in something like this: “I will think about it” or “We will return to this issue with you”, leaving ourselves time to evaluate all aspects of the communication before making a firm decision.
When the discrepancy between words and non-verbal signals of the speaker is pronounced, a verbal response to “contradictory signals” is quite appropriate. Contradictory gestures and words of the interlocutor should be answered with emphatic tact. For example, if the speaker agrees to do something for you but shows signs of hesitation, such as frequent pauses, questions, or expressions of surprise, you might remark, “I think you are skeptical about this. Can you explain why?" This remark shows that you are attentive to everything that the interlocutor says and does, and thus will not cause anxiety or a defensive reaction in him. You are just giving him the opportunity to express himself more fully.
So, the effectiveness of listening depends not only on the exact understanding of the words of the speaker, but also to an equal extent on the understanding of non-verbal signals. Communication also includes non-verbal cues that can confirm and sometimes refute an oral message. Understanding these non-verbal signals - gestures and facial expressions of the speaker - will help the listener to correctly interpret the words of the interlocutor, which will increase the effectiveness of communication.