How to regain peace of mind. How to restore mental balance after stress

Stress, fatigue, panic attacks and a feeling of unrelenting anxiety - what miracle drugs are offered to us to get rid of these problems: from exercise to spa treatments, from antidepressants to extended vacation in Hawaii. However, many of us are unaware that everyone always has a safe, effective and absolutely free recovery tool at hand. peace of mind. This magical elixir is nothing but your own breath, which has unique restorative properties.

By controlling your breathing cycle, you can dramatically change your morale and state of mind. By slowing down breathing, we thereby affect the parasympathetic nervous system- a complex biological mechanism that can calm us down even in the most difficult moments for the psyche. But how can banal slow breathing relieve stress? Yes, very simple. In a state of nervous excitement, we begin to breathe too fast. This leads to an increase in oxygen levels and, accordingly, a decrease in carbon dioxide levels, which disrupts the ideal acid-base balance of the blood - the pH level. This condition, known as respiratory alkalosis, can lead to muscle spasms, nausea, irritability, dizziness, loss of concentration, anxiety, and suspiciousness. Slowing your breath, on the contrary, increases the level of carbon dioxide in the blood, which brings the pH level back to normal.

Inhale - exhale

Breathing can be a powerful ally in the fight against blues and fatigue. Breathing exercises are your lifesaver for all occasions, whether it's a quarrel with a loved one or problems in business. But before you start practicing these techniques, you will need some preparation time. In a calm state, observe your breathing, feel its rhythm. Be warned: it won't be easy at first - it's like getting a fish to talk about the water it swims in. For us, breathing is so business as usual that we do not pay any attention to it, and therefore have a very poor idea of ​​its depth and rhythm. However, once you think about it, you will begin to notice a great many nuances, both in the physical and emotional sensations of each inhalation or exhalation.

You may notice that the very observation of the respiratory process will immediately bring about a whole series of changes in it. At first, breathing will slow down. The normal rhythm will even out a little. And finally, the air will take a little more space in your body and your breathing will become deep. Most of us only use our lower ribs and upper abdomen when breathing. Ideally, it should reveal the entire body.

To experiment with expanding your breath, sit upright in a chair or, better still, lie on your back. Place your fingertips just above the pubic bone. Try to direct a few breaths in this direction, each time expanding the abdomen.

Then begin to carefully increase the depth of penetration of inspiration. During this exercise, try to keep your throat as relaxed as possible: excess tension will prevent you from achieving the desired result.

When you can move your breath into the lower abdomen and upper part chest, try to “wake up” the back of the torso, which for many is a kind of terra incognita. With all your might, try to direct your breath into your spine, feeling how rear end the torso inflates and deflates with each breath cycle.

Prescription breath

Sometimes even a simple five-minute deepening of the breath can miraculously energize us, and simply make up for the lack of optimism. But you can achieve an even greater effect with the help of regular practice of pranayama - a system of special breathing exercises. These techniques, tirelessly perfected by yogis over the past few millennia, purposefully change the speed, rhythm and volume of breathing.

One warning before starting the practice: when doing any of the breathing exercises, in no case should you overdo it. If you feel uncomfortable, return to your normal breathing rhythm. If discomfort increases, this is a signal to stop the exercises. Your breath - believe it or not - has natural intelligence honed over millions of years of evolution. Learn to recognize these signals and respond to them.

Usually pranayama is performed while sitting on the floor, with the spine straightened and elongated - for example, in Padmasana or Siddhasana. But such postures are categorically not suitable for beginners: after a few minutes, they begin to suffer from pain and lose all ability to concentrate. Therefore, if you have started doing yoga relatively recently, it is better to sit on a chair or lie on the floor on your back. If the floor is hard, place a folded blanket under your torso and a small, hard pillow under your head. Stretch your legs straight, spreading your heels ten centimeters apart. Or you can bend your knees a little by placing a bolster or another rolled-up blanket under them. This pose will help relax your tense back and stomach. Extend your arms to the sides. Place a silk bag over your eyes for relaxation.

Having taken a comfortable position, observe your normal breathing for several minutes, fixing the results in your mind. Then, within a minute, mentally count the duration of the inhalations and exhalations - for example, “one second”, “two seconds”, etc. (or, if you prefer, “one Omm”, “two Omm”). Don't be surprised if your exhalations are slightly longer than your inhalations, this is quite normal. When you focus on your breathing, you can move on to exercises that heal anxiety, fatigue, and depression.

Anxiety. You can deal with it by lengthening your exhalations. For example, if your normal exhalation is six seconds long, try to stretch several exhalations to seven seconds, then several exhalations to eight, and so on, until you reach your limit - the longest but still comfortable exhalation.

When you lengthen your exhalations in this way by a few seconds, notice their subtle sound. You will notice that with each exhalation you get a soft ha - like a light breath. Try to make this sound as soft and even as possible - from the beginning to the end of the exhalation. Pause briefly at the end of each exhalation, lying quietly and still. Continuing in this way, observe the breath for at least 10-15 minutes.

Fatigue. To overcome fatigue, on the contrary, you need to lengthen your breaths. Breathe for a few minutes in your normal mode. When your breathing becomes even and slow, pause briefly after exhaling. Freeze. After a few seconds, you will feel a kind of hesitation - the approach of the next breath. The sensation is like a wave rushing towards the shore. Don't inhale right away. Instead, let the “wave” get even higher. Then inhale without effort or resistance.

Increase the duration of holding your breath before inhaling. Then gradually lengthen the inhalations, just as you did with the exhalations in the previous exercise. Finally, pay attention to the sound of your breaths - slightly hissing, yogis call it sa. Try to make the sound as soft and even as possible - from the beginning to the end of the breath. Observe your breath for 10-15 minutes.

Depression. Recovering from depression is much more difficult. Do not exercise at your most difficult moments. Forcibly changing the rhythm of breathing can only worsen the situation.

Let your breathing slow down and become more even. Then count the duration of your breath. When you exhale, try to balance it in duration with the inhalation. Take equal breaths in and out for about a minute. Then gradually - once every three or four breaths - increase each inhalation and exhalation for a second, until you reach your maximum. Your mood will serve as the best timer. For example, if you decide to practice for ten minutes, be prepared to shorten that time if you feel your depression receding. But if you think you still need exercise, don't stop.

Recharging. Schedule a daily 10-minute breathing exercise during your quietest time of day. For some, this is early morning, someone manages to truly relax only in the evening. However, even if you cannot regularly exercise at the same time, it is enough to take a simple minute break several times a day - close your eyes and do the exercise. It may turn out that such breaks will cheer you up much better than the usual cup of coffee or chocolate.

Photo: bananablondie108/instagram.com

Probably, every person wants to always be calm and balanced, and experience only pleasant excitement, but not everyone succeeds. To be honest, only a few people know how to feel this way, while the rest live like “on a swing”: first they rejoice, and then they get upset and worry - unfortunately, people experience the second state much more often.

What is mental balance, and how to learn to be in it all the time, if it doesn’t work out in any way?

What does mental balance mean?

Many people think that peace of mind is a utopia. Is it normal when a person does not experience negative emotions, does not worry about anything and does not worry? Probably, this happens only in a fairy tale, where everyone lives happily ever after. In fact, people forgot that the state peace of mind, harmony and happiness is completely normal, and life is beautiful in various manifestations, and not only when everything turns out “our way”.

As a result, in case of violations or complete absence of emotional health, physical health is seriously affected: not only nervous disorders occur - serious diseases develop. If you lose for a long time peace of mind you can "earn" peptic ulcer, skin problems, diseases of the heart and blood vessels, and even oncology.

In order to learn to live without negative emotions, you need to understand and realize your goals and desires, without replacing them with anyone's opinions and judgments. People who know how to do this live in harmony with both the mind and the soul: their thoughts do not disagree with words, and words do not disagree with actions. Such people also understand those around them, and they know how to correctly perceive any situation, therefore they are usually respected by everyone - both at work and at home.

How to find and restore peace of mind

So can it be learned? You can learn everything if you have a desire, but many people, complaining about fate and circumstances, actually do not want to change anything in life: having got used to the negative, they find in it the only entertainment and a way to communicate - it is no secret that it is negative news that is discussed in many teams with great heat.

If you really want to find peace of mind and perceive the world with joy and inspiration, try to consider and use the methods that are described below.

• Stop reacting to situations in the "usual" way, and start asking yourself: How am I creating this situation? That's right: we create any situations that "form" in our lives ourselves, and then we cannot understand what is happening - we need to learn to see the cause-and-effect relationship. Most often, our thoughts work on the negative course of events - after all, the worst expectations are more habitual than the expectation of something good and positive.

• Look for opportunities in any trouble, and try to respond "inappropriately." For example, if your boss “broke off” at you, don’t be upset, but rejoice - at least smile and thank him (for a start, you can mentally) for reflecting your internal problems like a mirror.
• By the way, gratitude The best way protect yourself from negativity and return peace of mind. Develop a good habit every evening to thank the Universe (God, Life) for the good things that happened to you during the day. If it seems to you that there was nothing good, remember the simple values ​​\u200b\u200bthat you have - love, family, parents, children, friendship: do not forget that not every person has all this.
• Constantly remind yourself that you are not in past or future problems, but in the present - "here and now." Every person at any moment of time has everything necessary to be free and happy, and this state continues until we allow past grievances or worst expectations to take possession of our consciousness. Look for the good in every moment of the present and the future will be even better.

• You should not be offended at all - it is harmful and dangerous: many practicing psychologists note that patients who carry grievances for a long time develop the most serious diseases. Including oncology. It is clear that about peace of mind there is no talk here.
• Sincere laughter helps to forgive insults: if you can’t find something funny in the current situation, cheer yourself up. You can watch a funny movie or a fun concert, turn on fun music, dance or chat with friends. Of course, you should not discuss your grievances with them: it is better to look at yourself from the outside, and laugh at the problems together.
• If you feel like you can't handle "dirty" thoughts, learn to replace them: use short positive affirmations, meditation, or small prayers - for example, try replacing a negative thought with a wish for good to the whole world. This method is very important: after all, at one moment in time we can keep only one thought in our head, and we ourselves choose “what thoughts to think.”

• Learn to track your condition - be aware of what is happening to you "here and now", and soberly assess your emotions: if you get angry or offended, try to stop interacting with others, at least for a short time.
• Try to help other people as soon as possible - it brings joy and peace. Only help those who really need it, and not those who want to make you a “hanger” for their problems and grievances.

• A great way to help restore peace of mind is regular physical exercises. fitness and walks: the brain is saturated with oxygen, and the level of “happy hormones” rises. If something oppresses you, you are anxious and worried, go to a fitness club or gym; if this is not possible, just run or take a walk in the park or at the stadium - wherever you can. Peace of mind is hardly possible without physical health and a person who does not know how to achieve balance cannot become completely healthy - he will always have disorders and diseases.

"Cheerful" posture - the path to peace of mind

Psychologists note that people who monitor their posture are much less prone to stress and anxiety. There is nothing complicated here: try to hunch over, lower your shoulders, head, and breathe heavily - in just a few minutes, life will seem difficult to you, and those around you will begin to annoy you. And, on the contrary, if you straighten your back, raise your head, smile and breathe evenly and calmly, your mood will immediately improve - you can check. Therefore, when you work while sitting, do not stoop or “squint” in a chair, keep your elbows on the table, and

Surely you have happened at least once to slip or stumble literally out of the blue and fall to the ground. Although this leaves very little time for reflection, there are still some steps you can take to help you quickly restore balance. There are also exercises that help maintain balance despite the negative changes caused by age, illness, or recent injury. Learn to prevent sudden falls to avoid the resulting pain, possible injury, and damage to your ego.

Steps

Part 1

Correct actions in case of loss of balance

1. Return your raised leg to the ground. At the beginning of the fall, unless your pivot foot has been blown to the side (for example, if you slipped badly), it still remains on the ground. Try to return to the ground and the second leg as quickly as possible. It is much easier to keep your balance when you are on the ground with both feet.

   • This may not be enough to keep you from falling if you are standing on a slippery (such as ice), uneven or sloping surface.
   • It is better to place the second foot away from the first (at a distance of at least 30 centimeters). Spread your legs wider to help you regain your balance.
   • Place your lifted foot on the ground in the direction you fall. If your center of gravity moves forward and you put your other foot back, it will not improve your balance. As a rule, when falling to the side, the raised leg is on the same side in which the fall occurs.

2. Sit down. Once both your feet are on the ground, bend your knees and squat down on the ground. This will lower your body's center of gravity, which will help you keep your balance. In addition, your feet act as a shock absorber and cushion your joints if you trip or fall.

   • Try to bend at the waist in the opposite direction of the fall. This way you stabilize your center of gravity even more. However, do not overdo it so as not to fall the other way.
   • This move is most effective on level ground where you can crouch quickly without hurting your knees.
   • If you are tall, you may need to squat lower as your body's center of gravity is higher when you are standing than shorter people.

3. Use your arms to redistribute your body weight. Most people, when losing balance, instinctively try to grab something with their hands or use them to shift the center of gravity in the direction opposite to the direction of the fall. To quickly shift your center of gravity, swing your arms in the opposite direction from where your body is moving. This will help you regain your lost balance and prevent you from falling.

   • Keep in mind that if you are holding an object, it may fly out of your hands when you swing it, so try to hold it tight. In addition, it will help you shift your center of gravity and regain balance. In an emergency, use every opportunity!
   • At the same time, the person looks awkward - you probably have seen this from the side. However, it's better than falling to the ground.

4. Grab onto something stable. As mentioned above, with a sudden loss of balance, a person instinctively tries to grab onto something. Don't resist this instinct. If you have the ability to grab onto something and regain your balance, it will keep you from falling. However, this possibility does not always appear.

   • In order not to fall, you can grab onto a wall, a tree, a railing, a fence, a parked car, even another person. In the latter case, be careful not to pull this person along with you.
   • Some items seem stable, but with a little effort they can tip over. Keep this in mind, although in the event of a sudden loss of balance, you will naturally have little time to assess the stability of an object.
   • This is often another reason why, when suddenly off balance, people drop what they had in their hands - they instinctively stretch their hands to a possible support, open their palms and release what they were holding before.

5. Get used to uneven surface. Unfortunately, we do not always lose the balance of uneven and smooth surfaces. If you are on stairs, large boulders or other uneven ground, you will need to change your actions a little to gain balance. Here are just a few tips:

   • If possible, lower your raised leg to the ground so that it is approximately level with the supporting leg. In this way, you will avoid the danger of an even greater loss of balance. If this is not possible, bend your knees so as to reduce the difference in height.
   • Sometimes it is better not to remain still, but to jump over or run to a new place. This method works well if you are trying to balance on an unstable surface (such as a rocky hillside) or when your body is already in motion.
   • If you have a little time, then evaluate whether you will find b about more stability and whether you will be safer if you jump to a new place. This will buy you some time to shift your center of mass and also be able to land on both feet and assume a more or less upright stance. In addition, such actions are useful if you are near a flat piece of land when you lose your balance.

   Part 2

   Fall Prevention

   1. Wear suitable footwear. Sometimes falls due to loss of balance can be avoided if you are wearing the right shoes. This is especially true if you slip. If you're doing something that puts you at increased risk of losing your balance, choose footwear that will maximize your stability.

      • Of course, you can fall without engaging in risky activities. You should not constantly think about the relatively small danger of losing your balance and therefore changing your shoes and lifestyle. Just choose the right shoes for a particular situation. For example, don't wear sandals when you have to walk on ice.
      • Choose shoes that reduce the risk of falling. Loose-fitting shoes (including flip flops, sandals, and the like) often slip off your feet at the most inopportune moment. Do not wear these shoes during sports activities and other activities that are associated with an increased risk of falling.

   2. Be careful. Often people fall because they simply do not look where they step. Look ahead carefully, especially when walking on slippery or poorly lit surfaces. Be careful - this way you will not only reduce the risk of falling, but it will also be easier for you to regain your balance if you suddenly stumble.

      • At night, use a flashlight or, if necessary, headlights. Try to light the way to reduce the risk of falling.
      • If you are going down stairs, be sure to look at the bottom steps. When you look at the next step, your brain processes the information and signals to your feet how to proceed correctly. Do not step on momentum, as the next step may not be where you expect it to be.

   3. Try not to leave the house when you are sick or weak. Some medicines and substances reduce the ability to maintain balance. If you have been drinking alcohol or taking medications that interfere with your balance and responsiveness, it is best to move around less (especially if you are not accompanied) to reduce the risk of falling.

      • This does not mean that you should sit at home without getting out after you have drunk a little alcohol. However, try not to walk long distances or do anything that involves increased physical activity.
      • Be careful when descending stairs. This is especially dangerous if you have poor balance and coordination.

   4. Use railings. Almost all stairs and many sloping paths (such as ramps) are equipped with railings and are attached to a wall or other stable structure. Hold on to the railing when going down (or going up) stairs or inclines so you don't lose your balance. Falling on stairs is much more dangerous than on level ground, so don't let gravity defeat you!

      • When descending the stairs, do not let go of the railing, but slide along it with your hand. This way you reduce the risk of falling when you shift your hand.
      • Check if the railing is stable. If the railing is unstable or poorly secured, it will be of little use in the event of a fall. If necessary, try using the railing on the other side. If this is not possible, proceed with great caution.

   Part 3

   How to avoid injury from a fall

   1. Protect your face. In the event of a fall, protect your face and head first of all by covering them with your hands. This should be done even if there is a danger of injury to another part of the body. Head injuries are very dangerous and can even lead to lethal outcome, so be careful not to hit your head on the ground or other hard surfaces or objects.

      • As you fall forward, extend your arms in front of your face. Thus, you can hit the ground in time and protect your face at the same time.
      • When falling back, put your hands behind your head and lean forward. This is the best way to keep your head from hitting the ground, or to cushion the impact if it does happen.

   2. Be aware of your options. In some cases, sudden movements aimed at preventing a fall are no less dangerous than the fall itself. Such movements can cause serious injury, especially in the elderly and those who have not fully recovered from previous injuries. When trying to maintain balance, you can deform the spine, so sometimes it’s better not to try to stand on your feet at all costs, but to fall and get off with a couple of minor scratches and bruises.

      • When losing balance, most movements are made instinctively, so sometimes it is not possible to avoid sudden involuntary movements.
      • If you really prefer to fall rather than put yourself in more serious danger, try to land in a way that does not affect sensitive areas of the body and previous injuries. For example, if you suffered a torn ligament knee joint and have not yet fully recovered from it, try to turn around when falling so as not to land on an injured leg or knee.

   3. Use your hands to soften the blow. As you fall forward, extend your arms out in front of you and bend them slightly as they touch the ground. Imagine that you are bending down to the ground while doing push-ups from the floor. This will help you cushion your fall and prevent hand fractures from hard landings.

      • If you fall on your hands, there is a risk of fracture of the bones of the forearm, palm or wrist. However, you should protect yourself with your hands to avoid more serious injuries.
      • The risk of fracture increases if you try to cushion the impact at an awkward angle, such as when you fall backwards. This is because in this position your hands are not designed for high loads and the joints are not flexible enough.
      • The stronger the muscles in your upper body, the better you will be able to cushion the impact and prevent injury from a fall.

   4. Roll over. If you're falling during a heavy forward motion (such as when running or jumping from a great height), it's sometimes safer to roll on the ground rather than trying to stop abruptly. Be sure to cover your head and neck.

      • First touch the ground with your hands and then top back and shoulder blades. Do not bend too much so that your head is not behind your feet, otherwise after rolling you can hit the ground on your face!
      • As you roll forward, arch your back, tuck your head into your chest, and lean forward. Try to group so that your body is like a wheel.
      • As you roll to the side, bring your bent arms close to your body, cover your face with your palms, and tilt your head slightly forward. In this way, you protect your face and protect yourself from hitting the ground with the back of your head.

   Part 4

   Balance Exercises

   Balance on one leg. To begin, stand up, spread your legs hip-width apart and place your hands on your waist. Continuing to stand straight, lift one leg off the floor and bend it at the knee, bringing the foot back. Stay in this position for up to 30 seconds, then switch legs. Repeat this exercise several times for each leg.

   • To make the exercise more difficult, try extending your raised leg to the side or in front of you without touching the floor with it. In this way, you can shift your body's center of gravity and further strengthen the muscles that help maintain balance.
   • Complicate the exercise even more: stand on an unstable surface or attach weights to your ankles.

6. Do bicep curls while standing on one leg. Stand straight, place your feet hip-width apart and hold a dumbbell in one hand. Bend the arm with the dumbbell at the elbow 90 degrees, palm up. After that, lift one leg and stay in this position for up to 30 seconds, then change legs and repeat the exercise.

   • Complicate the exercise and gradually increase the weight of the dumbbell. You can also not keep your hand with a dumbbell motionless, but bend and unbend it. In this case, your muscles will have to constantly adapt to the change in the position of the center of gravity.
   • Vary this exercise. For example, you can lift different legs. It is more difficult to maintain balance if you raise your leg from the side of the dumbbell. Start with simple option and gradually increase the difficulty.

7. Walk in a straight line with your heels touching your toes. If you want to improve your balance, walk in a straight line with your feet close together so that the heel of your front foot almost touches the toe of your back foot. At the same time, stretch your arms to the sides and keep them at shoulder level.

   • For better stability, focus on some distant point ahead. If you look at your feet, it will be more difficult for you to keep your balance.
   • To make the exercise more difficult, move very slowly or keep your foot on the ground longer with each step.
   • At a certain point, turn 180 degrees while maintaining your posture and walk along the same line back.

• To improve your ability to maintain balance and avoid injury from possible falls, develop agility and flexibility. To do this, do physical exercises, participate in sports games, do yoga and just lead an active lifestyle.
• Take up a hobby that requires balance. Thus, you will develop the corresponding muscles. It can be dancing, tightrope walking, ice skating or rock climbing.
• Balance exercises are especially useful for those who, for some reason (for example, due to an injury), have insufficiently developed muscles of the lower half of the body. In case of problems with the inner ear or neurological disorders, you should consult a doctor.

Warnings

• If you have injured your head in a fall, contact medical care. Even with a slight concussion, a doctor should be consulted.
• If you have recently suffered an injury, do not do balance exercises until you have received permission from your doctor or physical therapist.

And restoring peace of mind is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance! Enough to know how it works. And then to remain calm in almost any situation will become an automatic habit.

As you know, emotions are always on guard of our well-being and make it clear when we deviate from the path to happiness, success and harmony. Therefore, it is so important to constantly or at least periodically give an account of what state you are in, what feelings and emotions are prevailing in you now.

And in order to restore peace of mind, it is necessary to realize that we are not puppets in someone's hands, but free-thinking beings, i.e. others are not to blame for our happiness or unhappiness. This statement is true for all adults and mature personalities. And this approach makes it possible to independently change your mood if you do not like it.

Parable "Let go for a while." At the beginning of the lesson, the professor raised a glass with some water. He held this glass until all the students paid attention to it, and then asked:

How much do you think this glass weighs?

50 grams! 100g! 125 grams! students assumed.

I don’t know myself,” the professor continued, “to find out, you need to weigh him. But the question is different: - what will happen if I hold the glass like that for several minutes?

Nothing, the students replied.

Good. What happens if I hold this glass for an hour? the professor asked again.

Your arm will ache, one of the students answered.

So. And what will happen if I keep the glass all day in this way?

Your hand will turn to stone, you will feel a strong tension in your muscles, and even your hand may become paralyzed, and you will have to be sent to the hospital, - the student said to the general laughter of the audience.

Very well,” continued the professor imperturbably, “however, has the weight of the glass changed during this time?

Then where did the shoulder pain and muscle tension come from? The students were surprised and discouraged.

What do I need to do to get rid of the pain? - Asked the professor.

Put down the glass, - came the answer from the audience.

Here, - the professor exclaimed, - the same thing happens with life's problems and failures. If you keep them in your head for a few minutes, that's fine. You will think about them for a long time, you will start to experience pain. And if you continue to think about it for a long, long time, then it will start to paralyze you, i.e. You won't be able to do anything else.

Let's get back to specific steps to restore peace of mind. What needs to be done and in what order. First, you realized what state you are in now, and took responsibility for what is happening into your own hands. Secondly, they most accurately named the emotion that is now dominant. For example, sadness or anger. We will not say now who or what caused negative emotions, it is more important that they exist.

And the primary task, in any situation, even at first glance, seemingly dead-end or hopeless, is to restore calm, to maintain a positive attitude.

Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel. Marty Larney

Because only in such a state does the ability to discern the slightest favorable opportunities appear, the chance to use the current situation to one’s advantage, and in general, to work as productively as possible, to accept right decisions, adjust your next steps. And, you see, it's just nice to be in a good, positive mood.

The only thing is, keeping a positive attitude does not mean closing your eyes to what excites you. There are exceptions when banal inaction can give the best results, solve the problem. But in most cases, the best option after all, there is a reasonable level of concentration, concentration on the task at hand.

Parable " Golden mean” Crown Prince Shravan, inspired by the example of the enlightened followers of the Buddha, decided to become a monk. But soon the Buddha and the rest of the disciples began to observe that he rushed from one extreme to another. The Buddha never asked his disciples to go naked, and Shravan stopped dressing. In addition, he began to self-torture: they all took food once a day, but Shravan began to eat every other day. He soon became completely emaciated. While others meditated under the trees in the shade, he sat under the scorching sun. He used to be a handsome man, he had a beautiful body, but six months had passed and he was unrecognisable.

One evening the Buddha came up to him and said:

Shravan, I heard that even before the initiation, you were a prince and loved to play the sitar. You were a good musician. That's why I came to ask you a question. What happens if the strings are loosened?<

If the strings are loosened, then no music will come out.

What if the strings are pulled too hard?

Then it is also impossible to extract the music. The tension of the strings should be medium - not loose, but not too tight, but exactly in the middle. The sitar is easy to play, but only a master can tune the strings correctly. There needs to be a middle ground here.

That's what I wanted to tell you, watching you all this time. The music that you want to extract from yourself will sound only when the strings are not loosened or overtightened, but right in the middle. Shravan, be a Master and know that excessive exertion of strength turns into excess, and excessive relaxation into weakness. Bring yourself into balance - the only way you can achieve the goal.

What specifically needs to be done in order to restore peace of mind? First, find the antipode, the name of the antonym of the negative emotion - for example, on Robert Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions. This positive emotion is your goal for now. Suppose now it is necessary to neutralize sadness. Therefore, “the purpose of your appointment” is joy, or, for example, in the case of anger, calmness.

Now it is necessary to indicate the “path of your following”, for a situation with sadness, it will be like this:

Sadness - slight sadness - indifference - quiet joy - joy.

So, we know where we are going and the main transit points. Now, remember (and for this, of course, you need to constantly keep in touch with your mental well-being, mood and know what events or actions on your part cause you to have the appropriate emotions) when you most often experience the corresponding emotions. In other words, what causes you mild sadness or quiet joy. For example, listening to certain music or walking, or calling a specific person, or reading books on a certain topic, a story from the life of your friend or any other person that is somewhat reminiscent of yours, meditation, audio practice, etc. There are many options, and the more you can name them and more accurately imagine what your actions cause the corresponding emotional state, the better. The more perfectly you manage yourself, the less independent of the mood and actions of other people.

After making sure that you have reached an intermediate point on your path to joy, go to the next sub-item and so on until you reach the desired target state-mood.

Let's consider a slightly different case. Suppose you are aware that you are worried or alarmed about something, but it is difficult for you, due to feelings or for other reasons, to call the emotion “by name”. Remember, any emotions, both positive and negative, cause certain sensations in our body.

In other words, the emotion is objectified, now it is already material. Most likely, the heart will not break due to parting with a loved one, but it is quite possible to feel pain in the chest. Or feel real dizziness from both joyful excitement, anticipation of something very pleasant, and hitting your head on the door frame.

Depending on their nature, mental experiences can be transformed in the body either into a feeling of warmth, spaciousness, light and lightness, or into coldness, tightness, and heaviness. It is on the last forms of manifestation of the energy of negative emotions in the body that our next actions to restore peace of mind will be directed.

What should be done?

1. First of all, evaluate your bodily sensations associated with a negative experience - what do you feel (burning, emptiness.)?
2. Then be aware of the place of these bodily sensations - where do you feel it (in the head, chest, stomach, back, arms, legs.)?
3. Next, create a visual and sound (visual and auditory) image of what you feel - what it might look like (cast iron stove, roar of waves ..)?
4. The next step is to mentally take this material object out of your body and place it in the space in front of you.
5. And now the most pleasant thing is to remake the "rendered" object from its negative to its positive value. Change the shape (round, smooth), color (recolor colors to calm, create a harmonious color scheme), make it light, warm, pleasant to the touch, give the sound the volume and tone you need.
6. Now that you like what you ended up with, return the image you changed to yourself and dissolve it in the depths of your body. Feel how your experiences have changed, become aware of new positive emotions.

The image is the language of the unconscious. Its task is to concentrate energy. The nature of the image determines the quality of the energy. By changing it, you change the energy basis of the experience, that is, its very essence, turning negative emotions into positive ones. By the way, scientists (and not just the creators of the film The Secret) are sure that in the same way it is possible to influence the work of organs that are not directly subordinate to us, for example, heartbeat, digestion and hormonal regulation, etc. Using the body-mind connection, one can train (with enough effort, patience, and perseverance) to voluntarily change blood pressure or reduce acid production that leads to an ulcer, as well as do dozens of other things.

In the event that for some reason the above exercise cannot be performed, and you need to calm down immediately, do the following. This is a more simplified version of the previous method and will require less concentration.

The researchers found that the best visual image to relieve stress and return to a calm state is the combination of water and white.

Close your eyes and imagine white (precisely white, not transparent!) Water. Mentally track how the "milky liquid" reaches your crown, forehead. Feel a light touch of moisture that flows further - on the eyes, lips, shoulders, chest, stomach, back, thighs, flows down the legs. White water should cover you completely: from head to toe. Enjoy this state for a few seconds, and then imagine how white water slowly flows down to the floor into a funnel, taking all the troubles with it. Take a deep breath and open your eyes.

To better understand your current state and mood, and to make sure that the next steps are correct or need to be adjusted, the following projective test will help.

Projective technique (tests in pictures). Yin and Yang. Instruction. Take a close look at this complex figure. Try, looking at this picture, to abandon all thoughts and completely relax. Your task is to capture the movement inherent in this figure. In which direction is the figure moving? Draw an arrow. You may not catch any movement, such an opinion also has a right to exist.

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Book: Rehabilitation after fractures and injuries

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Psychological means of recovery

The psyche of a person who has been injured, like any sick person, is subject to significant changes, since the injury can be considered as a stressful situation. Therefore, the outcome of the injury is largely determined by the initial (initial) adaptive capabilities in the course of the disease.

Maintaining the optimal psycho-emotional state of the patient during his rehabilitation after an injury is one of the main tasks of the doctor, since it is the mental attitude of the patient that determines one or another outcome of the injury.

The means of psychological influence on the body are very diverse. Psychotherapy includes inspired sleep - rest, muscle relaxation, special breathing exercises, psychoprophylaxis - psychoregulatory training (individual and collective), comfortable living conditions, and reduction of negative emotions.

Psychological methods and means of rehabilitation have recently become widespread. With the help of psychological influences, it is possible to reduce the level of neuropsychic tension, remove the state of mental activity, restore the expended nervous energy more quickly and thereby have a significant impact on accelerating the recovery processes in other organs and systems of the body. The most important condition for the successful implementation of psychotherapy is an objective assessment of the results of psychological influences. It is necessary to interview patients using a questionnaire to determine the main personality traits.

Autogenic psychomuscular training. Recently, the method of autogenic psychomuscular training has become widespread. The patient needs to tune in to recovery, to a positive outcome of the injury. In the realization of these main installations, the power inherent in auto-suggestion provides invaluable assistance.

Mental self-regulation is the action of a person on himself with the help of words and mental images corresponding to them. It has long been known that a pronounced emotional experience adversely affects the general condition of the body. Thus, words, speech, mental images in an objective way have a positive or negative effect on the functional state of various organs and systems. Among the methods that allow to protect the patient's psyche and build it to overcome stressful situations and depressive states, in the first place, as the psychotherapist A. V. Alekseev points out, is mental self-regulation.

In mental self-regulation, 2 directions are distinguished - self-hypnosis and self-persuasion. A.V. Alekseev believes that the basics of psychomuscular training can be mastered in 5-7 days, if, of course, you take the classes seriously. First, one must be able to “plunge” into a drowsy state, when the brain becomes especially sensitive to words “associated with them” in a mental way. Secondly, we must learn to focus our intense attention to the utmost on what our thoughts are doing at the moment. During this period, the brain is disconnected from all extraneous influences.

There is a two-way connection between the brain and muscles - with the help of impulses going from the brain to the muscles, the muscles are controlled, and the impulses going from the muscles to the brain give the brain information about its functional state, readiness to perform this or that work and are in at the same time, brain stimulants, activating its activity. For example, a warm-up has a stimulating effect on the brain. When the muscles are in a calm state and relaxed, there are few impulses from the muscles to the brain, a drowsy state occurs, and then sleep. This physiological feature is used in psychomuscular training to consciously achieve a drowsy state.

Autogenic psychomuscular training aims to teach the patient to consciously correct some of the automatic processes in the body. It can be used in between exercises during exercise therapy. Autogenic psychomuscular training is carried out in the "coachman's position": the patient sits on a chair, spreading his knees, putting his forearms on his hips so that the hands hang down without touching each other. The torso should not lean forward much, but the back should not touch the back of the chair. The body is relaxed, the head is lowered to the chest, the eyes are closed. In this position, the patient says slowly or in a whisper:

I relax and calm down. My hands are relaxed and warm. My hands are completely relaxed. warm. motionless.

My legs are relaxed and warm. My torso relaxes and warms up. My torso is completely relaxed, warm. motionless.

My neck relaxes and warms up. My neck is completely relaxed. warm. motionless.

My face relaxes and warms up. My face is completely relaxed. warm. motionless.

A state of pleasant (complete) rest.

In the process of mastering autogenic psychomuscular training, the formulas are repeated 2–6 times in a row slowly, without haste.

To relieve feelings of anxiety, fear, you should use a self-regulation formula aimed at relaxing skeletal muscles. This will delay the entry of anxiety impulses into the brain. The self-regulation formula should be as follows: “Attitude towards what is happening to me is calm. full confidence in a favorable outcome and their strength. my focus is entirely on recovery. nothing outside distracts me. any difficulties and obstacles only mobilize my forces. Full mental training lasts 2-4 minutes 5-6 times daily.

For faster recovery, it is recommended to use self-suggested sleep. The patient must learn to put himself to sleep for a certain time and to come out of it rested and alert on his own. The duration of suggested sleep is from 20 to 40 minutes. The self-suggested sleep formula is usually slandered immediately after the psychomuscular training formula: “I relaxed, I want to sleep. drowsiness appears. it gets stronger with every mine, getting deeper. the eyelids become pleasantly heavy, the eyelids become heavy and close the eyes. restful sleep comes. » Each phrase should be mentally pronounced slowly and monotonously.

Psychotherapy includes hypnosis with the suggestion of disgust and the development of a negative reflex to a drug; strengthening the will, creating a mindset for active recovery.

Hypnosis- immersing the patient in a hypnotic state is a common technique that allows you to increase the effectiveness of therapeutic suggestion and thereby achieve the desired therapeutic effect. The technique provides for the observance of a state of rest and comfort, soporific formulas are pronounced in an even and calm voice, sometimes accompanied by more emotional imperative suggestions.

Rational psychotherapy fundamentally different from hypnosis by appealing to the consciousness and reason of a person, to his logic. The laws of logical thinking are used, the individual ability to analyze information and the doctor's professional knowledge for a critical analysis of errors in the patient's logical constructions, the causes of the disease are explained, the relationship between the patient's misunderstanding of the causes of the disease and the dynamics of the disease process is shown, and the laws of logic are taught.

Autogenic relaxation- a method of self-hypnosis, in which, through suggestion, muscle relaxation and self-soothing occur. The effect is complex, depending on the accumulation of the positive action of states of relaxation and on the consolidation of the necessary ideas and sensations suggested to oneself. Autogenic relaxation methods can be used as an addition to the main psychotherapeutic method. Relaxation is understood as a state of wakefulness, characterized by reduced psychoregulatory activity and felt either throughout the body or in one of its systems. The most commonly used methods of autogenic relaxation are neuromuscular relaxation, meditation, autogenic training, and various forms of biologically active communication.

Game psychotherapy and psychotherapy with creativity. Therapeutic methods, in which the scientific understanding of a person is largely associated with the rapid development of psychological sciences, social psychology, personality psychology. Various variants of methods for revealing the psychological and creative capabilities of the individual are being developed in order to distract, switch, calm, enrich the spiritual life. It can be playing business life situations, or an impromptu live game of plot fairy tales, etc. The methodological methods are varied: from active performance, attempts to create your own works, training in the perception of both the ability to critically assess, and the possibility of its public formulation and upholding, to more passive roles of spectator, listener, accomplice, fan.

Emotional stress psychotherapy. A system of active therapeutic intervention that forces the patient to reconsider and even radically change his attitude towards himself, his morbid condition and the surrounding microsocial environment at an extremely high emotional level. Psychotherapy is more like a surgical operation than a balsamic dressing. Treatment is carried out by strengthening and developing the ideological, spiritual positions and interests of the patient, accompanied by an effort to awaken these high interests and aspirations, to oppose interest and enthusiasm for painful symptoms and often associated with it a depressed, depressive or apathetic mood.

Punctures and blockades for injuries of the musculoskeletal system Occupational therapy

Update static data: 05:44:18, 01/21/18

Psycho-emotional stress - burnout of the soul

Psycho-emotional stress is a critical condition of a person who is exposed to excessive emotional and social overload. This concept refers to the adaptive capabilities of the psyche, which are necessary for an adequate response to changes in the surrounding world (positive and negative).

In difficult life situations, internal resources are gradually exhausted.

If for a long time a person does not have the opportunity to relax, switch attention from a traumatic situation, a kind of burnout of the soul occurs.

Aspects characterizing the concept of psycho-emotional stress:

• a decline in physical strength (faults in the nervous system lead to serious consequences for the whole organism);
• the emergence of a feeling of anxiety, growing within 2 days (changes in the functioning of the brain, excessive production of hormones - adrenaline, corticosteroid);
• emergency operation of the body (at the mental and physical level);
• depletion of physical and mental strength, culminating in a nervous breakdown and turning into acute neurosis, depression and other psychological abnormalities.

Modern psychology describes the concept of psychogenic stress as a set of emotional and cognitive reactions of a person to a certain life situation. The sources of stress can be both real traumatic events (death of a loved one, natural disaster, war, job loss), as well as an excessively negative perception of various circumstances by a person in his own life.

Psychology to help - what to do when strength is at its limit?

Popular psychology helps to cope with stress, the causes of which lie in a distorted perception of reality, inability to regulate one's own emotions (express them in an appropriate way, restore peace of mind). If the psychological state allows you to work (albeit in a less efficient mode), gain knowledge and strive for self-improvement, then it will be enough to study the aspects of the formation of emotional stress and methods of dealing with it in order to bring yourself into a harmonious state on your own.

• symptoms are felt as emotional burnout, loss of taste for life;
• catastrophically reduced performance;
• the state of global fatigue is observed from the very beginning of the day;
• disturbances in the cognitive (mental) sphere are manifested - memory, concentration of attention, ability to analyze, etc. are deteriorating;
• there is an acute psychological imbalance (a person ceases to be the master of himself);
• emotional reactions to any events become excessively aggravated (aggression, anger, desire to escape/destroy, fear);
• joylessness, up to despondency and disbelief in changes for the better, becomes a permanent, background state.

Clinical psychology and competent professionals will come to the rescue, which will help to normalize the physical and mental state. First, the impact is on the symptoms of stress (reducing their intensity), then on the causes of their occurrence (complete elimination or reduction of the degree of negative impact).

Psychologists and psychotherapists make it possible to identify all aspects of the occurrence of psychoemotional disorders and help a person to better manage his psyche, increasing adaptive skills.

In advanced cases, the psychological state is so deplorable that it is on the verge of neurosis or clinical depression. A person needs medical treatment, which only a psychiatrist has the right to provide.

Psycho-emotional state - the basis of personal health

The human psyche has an extremely complex structure, therefore it can be easily unbalanced due to the influence of various adverse factors.

The main causes of mental disorders are:

• cognitive disorders;
• emotional overload (psychogenic stress);
• physical illnesses.

The concept of psycho-emotional state means the totality of emotions and feelings experienced by a person. This includes not only what a person is experiencing "here and now", but also a wide range of mental scars from old experiences, repressed emotions and unfavorably resolved conflicts.

Detrimental effect on mental state

The most striking characteristic of a healthy psyche is the ability to independently experience life's difficulties. The reasons for failures in the mechanism of self-regulation can be very diverse. Each person is undermined by a certain situation that is important in his mind. Therefore, the concept of psycho-emotional stress is always associated with the interpretation and evaluation of a person's own life.

The principle of destructive influence is simple:

• bring the negative emotions of a person to the maximum limit (boiling point);
• provoke a nervous breakdown or the inclusion of an emergency braking mode (apathy, emotional burnout, mental devastation);
• exhaust emotional reserves (memories of positive emotions).

The result is psychological exhaustion. It is important to remember that the impoverishment of the emotional sphere is always accompanied by violations of the logical-semantic, cognitive area of ​​the psyche. Therefore, recovery methods always involve an integrated approach to the triad: “body-mind-soul” (harmonization of their interaction).

Common causes of psycho-emotional overload

Psycho-emotional stress occurs in two situations:

1. The occurrence of an unexpected negative event in the life of an individual.
2. Long-term accumulation and suppression of negative emotions (Example: lifestyle in background stress mode).

The mental health of a person when receiving emotional / sensory stress depends on the scale of the adverse event and the real possibilities of the person (mental, financial, temporary, physical) to cope with it at a given time.

Gender Interaction

The psychological health of a person directly depends on the realization of one of the most important needs - to love. The search for a partner begins with the state: "I want to receive love", and the creation of a family - "I want to give love." Any failures and delays in this area cause a powerful emotional imbalance.

Death of loved ones

The loss of significant social connections destroys a stable mental state and exposes a person to a rigorous revision of his own picture of the world. Life without this person seems faded, devoid of meaning and hope for happiness. Others can see vivid symptoms of depression or neurosis. A suffering person needs competent psychological help and support from loved ones. The greatest risk of getting a nervous breakdown, the formation of suicidal behavior, entering a state of clinical depression or the manifestation of psychiatric abnormalities, are introverts who have a small social circle and do not receive help from the environment.

Childhood psychological trauma

Children are completely dependent on adults and do not have the opportunity to fully express their emotions and protect their own identity. The result is a mass of repressed resentment and negative emotions. The causes of most chronic diseases lie in the psycho-emotional stress experienced in childhood. Psychoanalysis and humanistic psychology deal best with old childhood traumas.

Unsuccessful passage of age crises

Unsuccessful passage of the boundaries of age development or getting stuck on them (the concept of "Peter Pan", the syndrome of the eternal student) generates large-scale intrapersonal stress. Often the symptoms are so acute that they completely immobilize the volitional and energy resources of a person. Then psychology and the centuries-old baggage of human knowledge about emotions and emotional stress come to the rescue.

frustration

The concept of "frustration" means "disorder of plans", when a person finds himself in a situation (real or imagined), where it is impossible to satisfy the needs that are significant at the moment. In a narrower sense, frustration is understood as a psychological reaction to the inability to get what you want. For example, a person lived for many years for the sake of achieving one goal, but at the very last moment the bird of happiness fluttered out of his hands.

Prolonged physical illness

The psychology of the 21st century pays special attention to psychosomatic diseases, including more than 60% of existing diseases among them! The influence of the psyche on physical health cannot be overestimated - the popular saying: "A healthy mind in a healthy body" is confirmed by numerous scientific studies.

It is enough to eliminate destructive emotional experiences for a person to recover even with a serious, chronic illness.

The power of breath. (How to restore your emotional state in a situation of severe stress)

When stressed, we seek to avoid traumatic emotions and reflexively tighten the abdominal muscles. Strong tension in this area blocks emotional impulses, and after this, the diaphragm contracts, which prevents you from taking a full breath. If such a reaction is repeated again and again, then it becomes chronic and begins to be held reflexively. Breathing becomes shallow, and sometimes a person begins to involuntarily hold it. As a result, the natural activity of respiration decreases, the supply of oxygen to the body and energy production are limited. If we avoid living our emotions and feelings during stress, then they seem to be "stuck", "squeezed" by the breath inside. A huge amount of energy is spent on holding them, and then we begin to feel that we lack vital energy.

By practicing breathing techniques, we restore the spontaneous flow of energy, thereby improving both the physical and emotional state.

1. Exercise for quick recovery in situations of great stress

It is performed sitting or standing. Focus on the process of exhalation. The duration of this exercise is minutes.

Make a deep exhalation (to the end, draw in the stomach) and hold your breath until the breath “breaks through”.

Let the calm rhythm of your breathing recover and repeat this technique 2-3 more times.

This is usually enough to bring balance even under deep stress.

2. Exercise to improve the emotional state and normalize the functions of the whole organism

1) Take a deep smooth breath with a delay at the height of the breath for 1-2 seconds and a calm smooth exhalation.

2) Inhale and hold your breath for 10 seconds, followed by a jerky exhalation.

Note. Do this exercise until the emotional state normalizes.

3. Exercise to relieve attacks of anxiety, fear, irritation

Performed until stabilization of the emotional state

Sitting on a chair, place your feet shoulder-width apart, rest your elbows on your knees. Men clench their right fist, and clasp it with their left palm. Women, on the contrary, clench their left fist, and clasp it with their right palm. Rest your forehead on the hands folded in this way. For 1-2 minutes, try to focus on something pleasant.

After that, proceed to the exercise.

Breathing is slow. It is important not to force the breath, while maintaining its natural speed. Start a smooth breath and, having made 60-70%, hold your breath for 1-2 seconds and just as slowly and smoothly continue and finish the breath.

Then the inhalation without holding the breath passes into the exhalation and so on. Inhalation is gradual. Inhale, hold, continue inhaling and exhale.

This exercise can also be used to relieve excessive appetite, which contributes to the normalization of weight. In this case, it is recommended to do it a minute before meals (or instead of it, when "zhor" wakes up).

Note. If the exercise is performed by a person prone to internal bleeding, then the exercise should be performed at 60-70% of the maximum inhalation and, accordingly, a pause in breathing should be done earlier.

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Strength and love to all who are grieving now.
Human tears, oh human tears,
You pour early and late sometimes ...
Flowing unknown, flowing invisible,
Inexhaustible, innumerable -
Pour like rain streams pour
In the sometimes deaf autumn at night ...

F.I. Tyutchev

Every year on the third Sunday of May, the world celebrates International AIDS Day in Remembrance. On this day, in all countries, millions of people organize various events to honor the memory of those who died from AIDS.

The loss of a loved one is the most difficult event affecting all aspects of life, all levels of a person's bodily, mental and social existence. The process of experiencing loss is called the work of grief. Mourning is a natural process in which the body strives for balance, healing its wounds, both physical and mental.

“The experience of grief is one of the most mysterious actions of the soul,” writes F.E. Vasilyuk in his work "To Survive Grief". How miraculously will a person devastated by loss manage to be reborn and fill his world with meaning? How can he, confident that he has forever lost the joy and desire to live, be able to restore peace of mind, feel the colors and taste of life? How is suffering melted into wisdom? All these are pressing questions, to know specific answers, to which you need, if only because sooner or later we all have to, whether by professional duty or by human duty, console and support grieving people, help to survive grief.

Grief and loss are always unexpected, even if we seemed to be ready and expected loss, it is still expected, but still a surprise.

Surely many of us are familiar with this feeling of embarrassment when you don’t know what to say, how to behave, or when you don’t know what to do. How to help a suffering person? Just like with bodily injuries, the process of healing a spiritual wound has its own patterns. Knowledge of these patterns can serve as a support to help reduce feelings of confusion and helplessness, can provide a more adequate perception of the behavior of a suffering person and provide the necessary support and assistance.

The initial phase of grief is shock and numbness."Can't be!" - this is the first reaction to the news of death. F.E. Vasilyuk notes that the characteristic state can last from a few seconds to several weeks, on average, by the 7-9th day, gradually changing to another picture.

Numbness is the most noticeable feature of this condition. The mourner's breathing is difficult, irregular, a frequent desire to take a deep breath leads to intermittent, convulsive (like steps) incomplete inspiration, stiffness, tension. Inactivity is sometimes replaced by minutes of fussy activity.

Everything that happened seems unreal, the soul seems to be numb, a feeling of insensibility, deafness. External reality is perceived with difficulty, so after a while it can be difficult for a person to remember what is happening.

It's important to understand! It is believed that a person in this state does not let what happened into his life. At this time, he seems to be in two worlds at once, in the present - "here and now" and in the past - "there and then" until the moment of loss. We are not dealing with the denial of the fact that "he (the deceased) is not here", but with the denial of the fact that "I (the mourner) are here". A tragic event that has not happened is not admitted into the present, and it itself does not allow the present into the past. The shock leaves the person in this “before”, where the deceased was still alive, was still nearby. If a person could clearly realize what is happening to him in this period of stupor, he could say to those who sympathize with him that the deceased is not with him: “I am not with you, I am there, more precisely, here, with him.”

The present "presses" on such an inner world - any call, any signal from the present turns into a hindrance that interferes with existence in the "there and then", and this existence in the past - an urgent need and any obstacle - causes a feeling of anger. How to explain all these phenomena? Such a state is a defense mechanism of our psyche, mental anesthesia is a denial of the fact or meaning of death. The soul cannot immediately, entirely, accept the loss.

What to do? The main mental work of a grieving person is understanding and accepting what happened with the mind. . Very important at this stage give vent to feelings - to be able to talk about what is happening, but also to be able to get distracted. It is good if there is a person nearby who is able to share the pain of loss and support. His task is to accompany the process of natural experience, not interfering with it, but supporting it, to be ready to listen and just be together. Remember the period of the first days after the loss? What was important to you at that moment? Most often they answer - the real help of friends, relatives. Need someone to just take care about physical condition a grieving person, because he may forget to eat, sleep badly, it happens that people go to bed without undressing, etc. To come, help organize a funeral, deal with documents, cook food, etc.

The next phase is the search phase (search for an opportunity to return the loss), the phase of denying the loss, its constancy and inevitability.

The first strong feeling that breaks through the veil of numbness and deceptive indifference is often anger or aggression. It is unexpected, incomprehensible to the person himself, he is afraid that he will not be able to contain it. Sometimes it happens that with our mind we understand that “you can’t be angry, offended”, but still we feel anger or resentment because the deceased “left me”.

It is difficult to single out the time limits of this period, since it continues in waves in the next stages of grief. On average, they allocate 5-12 days after the news of death. At this time, the mind seems to be playing with us, while frightening with visions of the deceased - then we suddenly see him in the subway and immediately feel a prick of fright - “he is dead”, then suddenly a phone call, a thought flashes - he calls, then we hear his voice is on the street, but here he is rustling slippers in the next room... Such visions are quite common and natural, but they frighten, being taken for signs of impending madness. It is important to understand that this is a normal course of grief, at this time the mind takes attempts to come to terms with the loss, to comprehend it.

Sometimes the mourner speaks about the deceased in the present tense, not in the past, for example, “he / she cooks well (and did not cook)”, if this happens a month or more after the loss, then there is a delay in the stage of understanding and acceptance by the mind. Stuck at the stage of denial can also be indicated by the fact that a person keeps the things of the deceased intact, continues to mentally communicate with him. A person is looking for any opportunity to linger in the past and forget the present.

But the present is accepted more and then comes third phase - acute grief, lasting up to 6-7 weeks from the moment of the tragic event. Otherwise, it is called a period of despair, the greatest suffering, disorganization and acute mental pain.

Persist, and at first may even intensify, various bodily reactions - shortness of breath, muscle weakness, loss of energy, a feeling of heaviness in any action, a feeling of emptiness in the stomach, tightness in the chest, a lump in the throat, increased sensitivity to odors, decrease or unusual increase appetite, sleep disturbances.

There are many heavy, sometimes strange and frightening feelings and thoughts. These are feelings of emptiness and meaninglessness, despair, a feeling of abandonment, loneliness, anger, guilt, fear, anxiety, helplessness. Characterized by an unusual preoccupation with the image of the deceased (frequent memories) and his idealization - especially emphasizing the merits of the deceased, avoiding memories of bad character traits and actions. Relations with others worsen - loss of warmth, irritability, desire to retire.

It is difficult to work, to do ordinary things, it is difficult to concentrate on what a person is doing, it is difficult to bring things to an end, and complexly organized activities can become completely inaccessible for some time. Sometimes, unconsciously, the mourner identifies himself with the deceased - involuntarily imitates his gait, gestures, facial expressions.

Sometimes a person cannot get out of depression, does not allow himself to rejoice, because the departed cannot rejoice. The person may become stuck in anger, such as looking for blame, blaming the medical staff, constantly thinking about revenge, or becoming angry and irritable. Often, emotional problems develop into somatic ones, health deteriorates, a person “goes into illness”. Wanderings among doctors begin, the search for medical assistance, but in fact the person does not want healing.

It's important to understand! It is here, at this step of acute grief, that separation begins, separation from the image of a loved one, a shaky support in the “here and now” is being prepared, which will allow you to say at the next step: “You are not here, you are there ...”.

It is at this point that acute mental pain appears. Paradoxical as it may seem, the pain is caused by the mourner himself: phenomenologically, in a fit of acute grief, it is not the deceased who leaves us, but we ourselves leave him, break away from him or push him away from us. And this self-made separation, this own departure, this expulsion of a loved one: “Go away, I want to get rid of you ...” and watching how his image really moves away, transforms and disappears, and, in fact, causes spiritual pain. However, it also creates a new connection. As F.E. Vasilyuk: “The pain of acute grief is not only the pain of decay, destruction and death, but also the pain of the birth of a new one.” What exactly? Two new selves and a new connection between them, two new times. The new "I" is able to see not "you", but "us" in the past.

What to do? The main spiritual work is the acceptance of loss by feelings.

The mourner needs to go through pain in order to return to the surface from the depths of the stream of the past. The pain goes away if you manage to take out a grain of sand, a pebble, a shell of memory from the depths and examine them in the light of the present, in the “here and now”. The harsh reality is that you can live through pain only by being sick, feeling it. Listen, hear, live until it becomes less unbearable. There is no other way than experience to get rid of suffering. The whole future life depends on the quality of the work of experiencing.

Just like in the previous stage - very important expression of feelings . It is important to give vent to feelings, to give them a place to be, without judgment, with acceptance. This is not easy to do, as this is a difficult period for everyone - the grieving person and those who support him. After all, a grieving person can experience different feelings - pain, sadness, grief, anger, anger, guilt and shame for himself. He may judge himself for his negative emotions. It is sometimes difficult for close people to even sit next to each other, to be close. You want to leave, go out, console or distract and isolate yourself from the intense suffering of another.

How to explain it? When a person next to you hurts, when he tells you about his pain, most likely this also actualizes your personal pain. It is very important in this case to be able to experience it, not to ignore it and not to push it away. You can literally report that you, too, were once in pain and that this pain is still with you to one degree or another. Perhaps it is at this moment that your pain will first "see the light" and be shared. It was not in vain that earlier there were mourners at the funeral, whose crying helped to express feelings to loved ones, helped to “cry out”.

And more importantly - forgiving yourself . Mourning is almost always associated with guilt. A person may feel guilty for the grievances that he inflicted on the deceased, as well as for the fact that he is alive and admires the sunset, eats, drinks, listens to music, and a loved one died. Here it is important not to convince yourself (or the person experiencing the loss) that no one is to blame, as a rule, this is impossible, but to forgive yourself.

Helps reduce the severity of feelings physical activity with "emotional" intent. D. Arkangel in his book "Life after loss" writes that it does not matter what kind of activity to engage in. Intention and emotions matter. You can do physical exercises or wash dishes, clean the house, etc. with the experience of pain and grief, giving a splash of their energy, releasing their feelings.

The fourth phase of grief is the "residual shocks and reorganization" phase.

Gradually, life gets back on track, sleep, appetite, professional activity are restored, the deceased ceases to be the main focus of life. A person, as it were, learns to live in a new, different way.

The experience of grief now proceeds in the form of at first frequent, and then increasingly rare individual shocks, such as occur after a major earthquake. Such residual grief attacks can be as acute as in the previous phase, and subjectively perceived as even more acute against the background of normal existence. The reason for them is most often some dates, traditional events (“New Year for the first time without him”, “spring for the first time without him”, “birthday”, etc.) or events of everyday life (“offended, there is no one to complain to” , “a letter came to his name”, etc.). The fourth phase, as a rule, lasts for a year: during this time, almost all ordinary life events occur and begin to repeat themselves in the future. The death anniversary is the last date in this series. Perhaps not coincidentally, this is why most cultures and religions set aside one year for mourning.

What to do? The main mental work at this stage is the formation of a new identity, a new "I". The meaning and task of the work of grief in this phase is to ensure that the image of the deceased takes its permanent place in the ongoing semantic cycle of life (it can, for example, become a symbol of kindness) and be fixed in the timeless, value dimension of being.

Having experienced a loss, a person becomes a little (and sometimes a lot) different. It is important to realize and accept yourself new. After all, long-term pain and suffering are strong feelings - and the mourner cannot ignore them. And then there comes a moment when we realize that we can no longer remain the same as we were before the loss. Something within us transforms suffering into wisdom.

The described normal experience of grief comes into its own after about a year. the last phase - "completion". Here, the mourner sometimes has to overcome some cultural barriers that make the act of completion difficult (for example, the notion that the duration of grief is a measure of our love for the deceased). Gradually, the loss enters life, is comprehended. Sadness appears, which is called, including “light”.

There are more and more memories freed from pain, guilt, resentment, abandonment. Some of these memories become especially valuable, dear, they are sometimes intertwined into whole stories that are exchanged with relatives, friends, they are often included in the family "mythology".

Often the image of a departed person, with whom many life ties connected us, is “saturated” with unfinished joint affairs, unfulfilled hopes, unfulfilled desires, unfulfilled plans, unforgiven insults, unfulfilled promises. Many of them are already almost obsolete, others are in full swing, others have been postponed for an indefinite future, but all of them are not finished, all of them are like questions asked, waiting for some kind of answers, requiring some kind of action. Each of these relationships is charged with a goal, the final unattainability of which is now felt especially sharply and painfully.

What to do? Rituals are of great importance in psychological practice. In addition to the rituals offered to us by culture, we can resort to our own special rituals. For example, to the ritual of farewell to the deceased by writing him a farewell letter. Such a ritual mourning ceremony will help to release some of the feelings and emotions that cause discomfort, to become aware of them, and also to begin the recovery process. Psychological letter writing technique effective for loss, parting, resentment, guilt, etc. The exercise releases a lot of complex feelings: pain, longing, anxiety, sadness, regret, sadness.

Here are some simple rules for writing " farewell letter» (You can add them as you wish):

• Title and address (to the deceased person).
• Begin each new sentence of the letter with the word "Goodbye" (this will help you stay focused on the task).
• Write in a letter about overwhelming feelings.
• Thank the deceased person for being in your life, for all the good that is associated with him, for the life experience that you have gained thanks to him, etc.
• Write how you see your life going forward, without him.
• Sign.