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Hello Olga.
It is very good that you can pray for your father!
Firstly, order a magpie "About the repose" in the Church, you must do this without fail. Secondly, in the prayer book in the "Morning Prayers" there is a prayer "For the dead", it is located at the very end of the morning prayers. There is also such a petition: "Remember, Lord, the souls of your departed servants, my parents ( their names), and all relatives in the flesh; and forgive them all their sins, voluntary and involuntary, grant them the Kingdom and the communion of Your eternal good and Your endless life of enjoyment ... ". Read at home. Follow-up to the Exodus of the Soul", and on it the mind of the deceased is commemorated, and at the end of the kathisma, the Trisagion is read according to the Our Father, the troparia are calm and the prayer laid down after each kathisma. Any pious layman can read the Psalter for the departed. In some prayer books there is such prayer rule"Lithia for the dead, done by a layman," if you find, read and this rule. You can always pray for the dead, except for the day of Holy Pascha. On this bright day of the Great Feast, even the Church does not bury the dead.
You can serve alms with anything except drugs and alcohol. You can serve with clothes, money, food. To whom to apply? To whom you want, just giving alms, say: "For Christ's sake, for the rest of the servant (s) of God (s) (name)". Such charity will be protected as a good deed that you do for the sake of the Lord Jesus Christ. You can also give alms to the Church, for example, you can bring some food to the Church refectory. For those homeless people who sit at the Church doors, and they are usually always drinking, you can only serve food, because. they will most likely drink the money. Although the opinions of the priests differ on this issue, some say that everyone should give, regardless of the person’s appearance (drunkard or not) according to the word of the Lord Jesus Christ: “Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you” (Matt. .5,42), others say that it is best to give them food or clothing. I agree more with the opinion of the second priests that it is better to serve with food or clothing. And the poor (not drunkards) can and should be served as needed, if you can - with money, if not - then with clothes or food.
God bless you!
Respectfully,
Archpriest Alexei
And eternal shelter. Wake, according to Orthodox traditions, is arranged on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day. And then for six months and the anniversary of his death. This is done so that the deceased person can calmly meet with the Lord and find peace. How to remember six months from the date of death? This question arises before many people, since not everyone commemorates 6 months of the repose of a person.
As a rule, commemorations are, first of all, prayers and memories of all the good deeds of the deceased. In order to make it easier for the soul to be in the world of the dead, it is necessary to turn to intercessors with prayer speeches, then the Lord will help ease the torment of sinners.
- As soon as six months have come from the date of the death of a person, you should get up early, light a candle or lamp in front of the image. Place a photograph of the deceased next to it. Calmly pray for the salvation of the soul.
- Come to church before the service begins, buy a candle and place it for the repose of the soul.
- It is best to order a special ceremony by submitting a note with a name. Listen to the entire liturgy from beginning to end.
- It is desirable that the commemorator himself should take communion. From prosphora, a special bread, 2 pieces are taken, which symbolize life and death.
- Take another candle in advance and visit the grave of the deceased. Although many believe that this is not necessary.
- Light a candle and place it on the grave.
- Have breakfast with the soul of the deceased. Taste some of the food you brought with you and place some on the grave mound. It is believed that the soul of the deceased is nearby, and she will be pleased to be with you. Remember that if the date falls on a fast, you can only eat plant foods.
- Pray in front of the grave and invite everyone who came with you to the memorial table.
Before you sit down at the table, you must perform a lithium (funeral service). If there are no clergy among those invited, any Orthodox person can read the prayer. Then everyone who participates in the commemoration must say "Our Father ...".
Decorate the table with twigs coniferous trees and tie mourning ribbons. Put a photograph of the deceased on the table.
Next, you should serve the first course - sweet kutya. It is prepared from boiled white rice with the addition of honey, raisins or nuts. Sometimes rice is substituted for wheat. Cooked kutia must be consecrated in the church or sprinkled with holy water on it.
Start your main meal. Behave decently at the table. You need to eat and drink with the obligatory mention of the name of the deceased. You can tell stories about his good deeds in the world, read poetry. You don't have to say bad things about a person. Remember that alcohol is prohibited at the wake, even if the deceased himself was a fan of such drinks.
When a new dish is served, the words should be pronounced: "God rest the soul of your Servant ...".
Main dishes for commemoration:
- pancakes;
- borscht or mushroom soup;
- buckwheat;
- pies with fish, potatoes, pumpkin, mushrooms;
- jelly;
- compote of dried fruits or berries.
After everyone has eaten, you should read the prayer again. It is not customary to thank the hosts for the prepared dinner.
It happens that it is not possible to assemble a memorial table. In this case, you can take some small things (cups, handkerchiefs, spoons), food and distribute to those in need with a request to remember the slave (name). Giving charity is very important. In this case, God will be favorable to you and to the reposed soul of your loved one.
Sometimes you can just gather a table for the poor and old people who need shelter and food, then their prayers will reach the Lord faster.
Remember that Wednesday and Friday are fast days, so the menu should be composed only of lean products. If suddenly half a year falls on the week of Great Lent, it is more expedient to postpone the commemoration for the weekend, Saturday or Sunday.
In life, there are cases when the church refuses to commemorate the dead. Most often, the reason for this refusal is an unauthorized departure from life. Suicides cannot be ordered memorial services and commemorated in church. They are prayed for in a special way. There is even a special akathist for suicides. Voluntary death also includes death from a drug overdose.
Wake for six months is not collected by all Orthodox, but it is worth remembering that you should constantly pray for relatives who have gone to another world, then the soul of the deceased will be calm. After all, prayer is the only way to save the soul, and one who has already rested in another world cannot do this, therefore only relatives and friends can help sincere and.
How to remember six months from the date of death is a purely personal matter. But all Orthodox Christians need to follow the basic rules of commemoration, to know how to set the memorial table.
Number of entries: 68
Good evening. Father, tell me, please: our aunt died on February 13, 2013. 40 days fall on March 24th. Is it possible to do them?
Larisa
Larisa, March 24 is great post. You can always pray for the dead. To celebrate 40 days means, first of all, to pray for the soul of the deceased. It is necessary on this day to submit a registered note of repose for the Liturgy and to pray on this day at the Liturgy, it is also necessary to serve a memorial service in the temple after the service. You can make a memorial on this day, but the meal should be strictly lenten. You can not eat meat, dairy and fish products, eggs. You can make pancakes, but also lean.
Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)
Hello, father! Grandmother died on March 4th. And 40 days fall on April 12th. Maybe it needs to be rescheduled for another day? Tell me please. Thank you in advance.
Oksana
Hello Oksana! April 12 falls on Friday, and the peculiarities of the Lenten service do not allow us to commemorate the dead there. Therefore, you will be able to commemorate your grandmother the next day, on Saturday, when the church has just established the commemoration of the dead at the liturgy. I think it will also be more convenient for you to gather for a wake on Saturday.
Priest Vladimir Shlykov
Hello! On March 23, my husband will be 40 days old, he is unbaptized, I read a prayer at home, I received a blessing from the priest, but tell me, please, can I go to the cemetery on the 40th day, because there will be a fast? Since it will be Saturday and my children are not in kindergarten and school, when can they distribute candy (after or before 40 days)? Thank you very much, I'm sorry if my letter was a little incorrect.
Veronica
Veronica, as you already know that in the church they don't pray for unbaptized people. Those who are not baptized are not members of the church. No one forbids you to pray for them at home, and of course, you can go to the cemetery whenever you want. It is not customary to go to the cemetery on Sundays, on big days. church holidays and at Easter. The best day is Saturday. All parental commemorations take place on Saturday. You can always give alms for the dead, but most of all it must be done up to 40 days.
Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)
Good afternoon, I would like to consult. March 20 will be the year since my father passed away. What is the correct date for a funeral dinner? March 20 falls on the first week of Lent. At the church, I ordered Mass for the 20th. Who says that on Forgiveness Sunday is also impossible. Who says later is impossible, only earlier. Tell me please. Thanks in advance.
Michael
Michael, the most important thing is not a memorial dinner, but our prayer for our close relatives. On the day of March 20, according to the church charter, Liturgy (mass) is not allowed. You need to serve a memorial service and attend it yourself. On March 18, Great (strict) Lent begins and, of course, on March 20, they do not arrange a memorial meal. A memorial meal can be made on March 17, at Shrovetide, there is nothing wrong with that. But we must remember that meat products are not supposed to be consumed on Shrovetide, all products, except meat, can be used.
Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)
Hello! My grandmother died on February 28, 9 days falls on March 8. Our priest said that the memorial dinner could be held on March 9, as it would be Memorial Saturday. But it will already be 10 days from the date of death. Is it possible?
Vasilenko Larisa
Larisa, perhaps your father is right, but I would clarify his advice a little: so that your conscience is not embarrassed, come to the service on March 8, pray for your grandmother at the lithium, which will be performed at the end of the morning service, and submit a note of repose at the Saturday Liturgy . On Saturday it is also very desirable to be in the service, and after it at home you can also arrange a memorial meal - on Saturday the fast is weakened, and besides, many have a day off, which is convenient.
hegumen Nikon (Golovko)
Hello, I have such a question, my grandmother died on 09/02/2012, and now, on 03/02/2013 it will be exactly half a year, as she is gone, is it possible to hold a commemoration for six months, and do they commemorate the deceased when he is not with us for six months?
Diana
Diana, in Orthodox Church there is no such tradition, these are some "Soviet" innovations and fantasies. You can commemorate the deceased at least every day - both with funeral services and personal prayer - but you don’t need to arrange anything special for six months.
hegumen Nikon (Golovko)
Hello, father! Uncle died March 3 (Sunday), funeral March 7. And they decided to organize a memorial 9 days on March 10 (Sunday). But after all, there are no 9 days yet, or is it not forbidden? Tell me, what kind of memorial service to order? What else to do? My uncle was a deeply religious man. Thank you.
Nataliya
Hello Natalia! The memorial meal can also be moved to a day convenient for you. The main thing for the dead is our prayer. Order a magpie for the repose, a memorial service and a Psalter for the deceased. And, of course, if the uncle was baptized, a funeral service in the church is necessary.
Priest Vladimir Shlykov
Dear father, my dad died, he falls for 40 days on March 22, what should I do? Maybe it needs to be rescheduled for another day? Tell me please. Thank you in advance.
Alyona
Alena, for the first forty days, the soul especially needs our help, our prayer and the prayer of the church. The 40th day is the most important for the deceased, on this day they determine where to settle the soul, in heaven or hell. It all depends on what kind of life a person has led, and our prayer on this day is simply necessary. On March 22, it is necessary to serve a memorial service in the church and pray on this day, submit a registered note for the Liturgy and attend the service yourself. You don't need to transfer. March 22 is the first week of the Great (strictly) Lent and this day should not be commemorated. The commemoration itself can be postponed to March 24 and you need to remember that this is a strict fast, meat, dairy and fish products and alcohol cannot be put on the table. The commemoration should be strictly Lenten - this will bring great benefits to yourself, and especially to your late dad.
Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)
Hello, father! The anniversary of my grandmother's death (year) falls on March 17, Sunday. Tell me, is it possible to arrange a memorial service? Thank you very much.
Elena
Elena, of course, you can make a commemoration on this day, especially since this is the last day before Lent. First of all, it is necessary to celebrate prayerfully in the temple, pray for the Liturgy for the deceased, order a memorial service. A memorial meal can be made, but without meat products. According to the church charter, you can’t eat meat at Shrove Tuesday, you can eat any products except meat.
Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)
Hello, dear father, my mother died on February 15 at 8.30 in the morning. Tell me, please, does the 40th day fall on Monday, March 25, or is it still on Tuesday, March 26? Is it possible to make a wake on Sunday, March 24?
Oksana
Oksana, the day of death is considered the first day from which 40 days are counted, which means the 40th day will be March 25th. This is a great strict fast, which means that the table must be strictly fast: without meat, dairy and fish products and without alcohol. The deceased needs prayer, and this is the main thing. On March 25, you must definitely order a memorial service, a custom-made note of repose for the Liturgy, and pray at home yourself. It would be nice to go to the cemetery to the deceased that day. The meal itself can be done on Sunday, March 24, but fasting.
Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)
With respect to you, I ask for an answer: aunt 40 days after her death falls on Sunday, the priest who buried her told us before burial that 40 days cannot be done on Sunday, only on Saturday, it turns out 39 days, and in the temple they told us, that mention 40 days do day by day. How can we be, why is there one faith and two different opinions?
Valentine
Valentine, if the 40th day falls during Great Lent, then the rules regarding this day change and, indeed, the commemoration takes place on Saturday. If not, then day by day.
hegumen Nikon (Golovko)
Dear father, my dad died, he falls for 40 days on March 19, and this is the first week of Great Lent, what should I do? Maybe it needs to be rescheduled for another day? Tell. please. And after the funeral, I lost my engagement, wedding ring, what should I do in this case? Thank you in advance.
Svetlana
On the 40th day itself, order a memorial service in the church, you can also serve a funeral litia in the cemetery, and transfer the commemoration to Sunday (probably, fish dishes can also be prepared for this occasion). Don't worry about the ring, buy a new one and ask the priest to bless it.
Deacon Elijah Kokin
Hello! Tell me, please, grandfather has 40 days on March 18, 2013. When can we organize a wake for the deceased and what can we cook?
Anna
Anna, for the dead, the most important thing is not the table, but prayer. The 40th day is very important for the deceased, on this day a private judgment is made on the soul, it is decided where to place it, in heaven or hell, and therefore the most important thing is our prayer. Be sure to order a memorial service on this day and pray yourself. It would be nice to visit the cemetery on this day. On March 18, it is IMPOSSIBLE to make a memorial meal, as this is the beginning of Great (strict) Lent. A memorial meal can be made on March 17, at Shrove Tuesday. Meat on this day (March 17) is also no longer eaten. All products are allowed, but without meat.
Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)
Hello! Please tell me how to hold a commemoration on the anniversary of death? Dad died on 02/28/12, and 02/28/13 will be a working day, and not everyone will probably be able to come, I wanted to spend 02/24/13 - on Sunday. Is that allowed? Thank you.
Vladimir
Yes, Vladimir, you can transfer it, although I must tell you that you should honor the very day of death with a visit to the temple, a memorial service and at least the smallest memorial meal at home in the closest circle.
hegumen Nikon (Golovko)
Hello, father. 10 days ago my elder brother died. And on February 22, I planned to celebrate the anniversary date - 55 years since my birth, to which my colleagues and close friends were invited. Help me make the right decision. Is it worth arranging a holiday up to 40 days after the death of a brother, or is it better to apologize to those invited and cancel the evening? Thank you.
Hope
Nadezhda, after death, the first 40 days the soul goes through air ordeals, and she needs an intense prayer for her. The souls of the deceased during the ordeal are waiting for help from the church and from loved ones. Help is our prayer, some good deeds, charity. Souls cannot pray for themselves. The 40th day is the most important - it is determined where to settle the soul - in heaven or hell. And therefore, of course, there can be no talk of any holidays.
Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)
Is it possible to make a commemoration for six months at 14.00?
Irina
You can, Irina, but Orthodox tradition in half a year, they don’t arrange a commemoration - this is an innovation.
hegumen Nikon (Golovko)
Anniversary of father's death. I am the Temple of the Icon Mother of God The “Life-Giving Spring” in Bibirevo submitted an ORDER, which will be served at the altar, since a memorial service is not held there on Wednesday. Is it necessary to order a memorial service in some other church?
05.10.2014
After a person leaves this world, you need to remember him. In this regard, certain traditions have developed that must be observed several times a year, after his death. They commemorate the deceased in the church, it is advisable to do this more often so that there is no comparison with any of the dates.
It is very important that the prayer for the deceased, his reassurance, be observed. But very often, due to the fact that everyday bustle seizes people, there is absolutely no time, even a year after death, to go to the grave, go to church. By the way, many people still don't go to church to commemorate the dead, because they don't know how to do it.
How to commemorate
Early in the morning, on the day when six months have passed since the death of a person, you need to pray for his soul. It is desirable that the prayer be at home in front of the photo of the deceased and the icon. You will also need to light a candle, which you should first buy in the temple shop. Before you go to the grave of the deceased, you should go to the church, but so that there is no service there. Leave a donation there and buy another candle.
It is also worth submitting a note where the name of the deceased will be written, this should be done in a special window of the church, where the ceremony is ordered. It is better to order a commemoration at the proskomedia, this suggests that a piece of it is taken out of a special prosphora for the deceased and lowered into a certain bowl filled with holy water. This will be a sign of washing away the sins of the deceased.
It will be necessary to defend the memorial service, after the Liturgy has passed, put a candle for the repose. So, they say that prayer will be more effective for the deceased if on this day the commemorator himself takes communion.
Memorial at the cemetery
Buy another candle, and take it to the cemetery, you need to put it on the grave of the deceased. It is worth going to the cemetery immediately after the above procedure.
You need to light a candle. Set a table near the grave where there will be food, so that it seems like you can eat together with the deceased. So they say that the spirit of the deceased will soar in the clouds, being nearby. It is worth putting food on the grave. But remember that it is very important that all the fasts that are at this moment must be observed.
Say a prayer for the soul of the deceased. And invite all those who came to visit him to your home to sit at the memorial table. Food must be prepared in accordance with the fast.
Remember that before you commemorate at the table, you need to conduct a lithium by reading a prayer. And before the guests begin to eat, it is worth serving kutya from rice and honey, raisins.
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When after death loved one passes certain time, relatives are wondering whether six months from the date of death? The rules for holding a commemoration exist not only in the Orthodox tradition, but also refer to secular norms adopted in a particular culture.
How do Christians commemorate the dead?
There is no information in church books on how to organize a memorial table and whether it is worth going to the cemetery six months after the death of a relative. But church rites for the dead still exist.
According to tradition, a prayer service is ordered for the deceased person after six months. A variety of prayers for the repose are also read. In the church, on the memorial eve, a candle is placed for the deceased.
At home, the relatives of the deceased can pray for the repose of his soul in front of the icon. Sometimes during this prayer, a photo of the deceased is placed next to the face of the saint and a candle is lit.
A commemoration feast can be organized both at home and in a special restaurant, where there is a special menu for such occasions. On this day, you can take kutya and pancakes to the cemetery, which are left on the grave.
All relatives and close friends of the deceased are invited to the memorial table. Prayers are said before the start of the meal. Then stories from the life of the deceased person are told.
The menu for remembrance includes fish pies, salads, kutya, pancakes, pickles. If during this date there is a post, then the table should be set modestly. This is especially true for those people whose deceased relatives were deeply religious during their lifetime.
Whether to drink alcohol during the wake, everyone decides for himself. But use it in large quantities still not worth it. It is necessary to remember the deceased with a slight sadness. It is not advisable to indulge in strong grief, because he went to better world to God.
Wake with date transfer
How to commemorate six months from the date of death, if it is not possible to organize a commemoration on this particular date? According to the rules, it is possible to organize a commemoration three days before this date, and two days after it.
On the day of commemoration, you can distribute all the things of the deceased to those in need. Before this period, it is possible to perform such manipulations, but not everyone can do it. Sometimes it is advised to wait a year to give someone personal items and clothes of the deceased.
But if relatives cry a lot for their deceased, then it is necessary to take his things out of the house exactly after the onset of six months from the date of death.
On the morning of the day of remembrance, it is necessary to distribute alms to the poor and ask them to pray for the deceased person. In the evening, you can attend a service and submit a note there with the name of the deceased, so that they pray for him in the church.
What can not be done at the wake?
At the wake, you can not do the following things:
So, how to commemorate six months from the date of death, if emotional condition leaves much to be desired? It is necessary to drink a sedative. Ask family and friends to help organize the funeral. And try to understand that the pain of loss will someday subside, it will not always be so bad. Everything related to the commemoration must be organized with all care and attention. After all, according to beliefs, the soul of the deceased on such a date is nearby and observes the degree of respect that the living have for her.
