Effective exercises on how to love yourself. Psychologist's advice: how to start loving and respecting yourself

Give yourself a compliment every time you pass by a mirror!

First, check - what is the level of your self-esteem? Draw a vertical line on a blank piece of paper. Then put a dot where you see fit (previously imagining that this dot is yourself).

If the point is set below the average level, you don’t like yourself very much. If it is much higher than the middle of the line, you adore yourself. The best option- this is the middle point, because in this case you treat yourself quite adequately. If the result of this test did not make you very happy, it's time to move on to the exercises! The main thing you need is patience. Mastering exercise number 2 the first time is unlikely to succeed. It will probably take a few weeks, but the result is worth it! If you haven't played sports yet, do it! Physical activity, work on the body raise self-esteem to sky-high heights.

Exercise #1

• We focus on the good that is in you. The key to its success is regular implementation.

  Take a sheet of paper, divide it into two parts. In the first - write all your positive qualities. In the second - what you do not like about yourself and what you would like to change about yourself. Then carefully cross out each word on the list with negative qualities. Tear off this part of the sheet and destroy it (tear it into small pieces, blow it into the wind, burn it). Memorize the rest of the text and regularly repeat it to yourself every morning or evening with the wording "I - ....". Then make it a habit to add one new quality to that list every three days.

  Exercise #2
• We track the positive dynamics. Runs every evening.

  Instead of comparing yourself to others, start comparing yourself to who you were yesterday. Notice all the good things that you managed to do today, even if it is a couple of little things. Be sure to praise yourself and follow the dynamics of the process.

  Exercise #3
• We replace the negative with the positive. It is carried out in stages.

• Create a self-image. Imagine an image of yourself. Just think about how you look, it should be a complete picture, showing not only appearance, but also character.

• Change your mood. Everything that looks negative in your image, try to change it by presenting these elements in a more favorable light. For example, if you see yourself as slow, and this feature could mean that you tend to procrastinate, or find it difficult to start a new business, think about how the same trait keeps you from impulsive behavior and gives you the opportunity to carefully consider everything before taking any action. Be guided by the principle "My failures are actually successes, I just looked at them from the wrong side."
  Imagine a complete and complete image of yourself, the way you look at the moment you achieve your desired goal.
• Make a movie. Now let this self-image become a big, bright, close, attractive three-dimensional color film about you. Scroll it!
• Compare feelings. Ask yourself - what changes do you feel when comparing the newly created self-image with the image that you imagined at the very beginning? As a rule, self-esteem seriously depends on the form and content of the self-image. When the self-image acquires positive content and takes on a sufficiently intense form, self-esteem rises.

Many cannot understand why it is impossible to feel this feeling inside. Why no tricks with all sorts of self-care procedures, with the purchase of things for “my beloved”, with “correct” behavior, either give a temporary result or fail (especially the correct implementation). And to be completely honest, they drive me into a state of irritation.
⠀
I want to love myself, but you get either a temporary improvement, or a portion of irritation with yourself and the inability to “love yourself”. Remember the advice that is usually given to love yourself? Put your interests first, don't sag. Good advice. But there is one BUT.
⠀
They do not eliminate the causes of dislike for themselves. With their help, you can correct the consequence, reduce the harm done to yourself, this is a fact. And it’s not always possible to use them, if it’s scary, you fall into the old behavior. It's like patching holes, instead of overhaul.
⠀
The CAUSE must be eliminated. And the reason is our erroneous perception of ourselves, based on conditions, obligations, other people's negative assessments and comparisons of ourselves with someone else, formed in childhood.

Dislike, just like Love, is a consequence of self-perception. And this is about self-esteem. And according to the old Russian tradition, we perceive ourselves through the eyes of other people, and even add our own interpretation of their words.

What to do?

Change the foundation from “Something is wrong with me, but I can prove that it is so” (and we prove it by trying to please everyone, please, what kind of love is there) to “I'm normal. No proof required."
⠀
Try to see your erroneous judgments about yourself and gradually separate yourself from them.
It's not me! These are my erroneous conclusions based on people's words and past experience!
That's not mine. This is where self-love begins, and not with the purchase of another dress.

Exercise 1

Any business must begin with an understanding of WHAT and WHY you are moving, otherwise self-digging and stupid fingering will happen, which does not lead to anything. Rather, it leads to anger and disappointment. Try getting in your car and driving "I don't know where" and hope you get to the right place. I think the allegory is clear. By the way, this is the most common mistake of self-development lovers.

WHY - in general, it is clear. We want to treat ourselves well and love ourselves.
And here's WHAT...
⠀
And then the question arises - and HOW is it - to LOVE yourself? If you never knew this, how to understand? How to learn to do it? What will my life be like if I love myself? WHAT am I when I love myself?
There is one trick.
⠀
Let's fantasize.
IF I LOVE MYSELF...
How would it be?
What would my life be like?
What would I do?
How did you treat yourself?
How would you build relationships with people?
What would I be?
Answer these questions in writing.

Answered?

I'm sure they were shy
And so another magical question.
HOW COULD IT BE BETTER?
And we write again.

And remember that LOVE is a VERB.

TASK 2
Light and shadow.

This exercise will help you see the “outcast” parts of yourself and… talk to them.
⠀
It is impossible to love yourself in parts. I love the eyes, but not the lips.
I love legs, but I don't like fingers.
When I experience “good” feelings, I love myself, when I feel “bad” I hate myself.
When everything works out for me - I love it, when I'm wrong - no.
When people like me, I love it; when people reject me, no.
⠀
My dears, these are your conventions that will never allow you to sincerely love and appreciate yourself. There is always a reason for dislike.

We often position ourselves in terms of need, usefulness, achievements, our qualities, appearance. And we're doing great. But often we simply don’t meet ourselves, we rush past our desires, guided by children’s attitudes about what to be and what not to be.

strong
Weak
Needed
Convenient
Good
The best
Ideal
And it turns out that self-love and self-worth are completely dependent on these conditions.
⠀
And I invite you to take one more step towards yourself - to get acquainted with your "outcast" parts.
⠀
Imagine that for a moment you became the woman you "shouldn't be".
Why is it bad to be like this? (Hint - what YOU were forbidden in childhood)
And if you did not criticize this part, what are the advantages of it?
What could you get from her?
And tell her the words that this part of you wants to hear.

TASK 3
The path to self-love is hard and long...

So you think, right? Friends, there is no need to wait for something unknown to be born somewhere inside. You can already begin to manifest in your reality what is that very “unknown” love.

LOVE IS A VERB. Those. action
⠀
Which?
CARING FOR YOURSELF.
This is an attitude towards oneself and one's life, which says
⠀
I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MYSELF!
⠀
I am responsible for what I do to myself.
I am responsible for my choice.
I am responsible for what I let others do to me.
I am responsible for how I feel right now.
I am responsible for who I love.
I am responsible for meeting my needs
I am responsible for my inaction
I am responsible for the life I am living right now.
⠀
I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MYSELF!
⠀
Self-love is the ability to give yourself what you need.
This is respect for your feelings, and setting goals, and training, and taking courses.
And this can be learned very quickly.
You can start doing this right now.
⠀
AN EXERCISE

Ask yourself:
WHAT DO I NEED NOW TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF?
Maybe you need a rest
Maybe you need exercise
Might need some solitude
Perhaps you need to cry. Or laugh.
Might need a kiss
Maybe it's time to sort out your life.
⠀
Ask yourself this question every two hours.
Set an alarm on your phone so you don't forget.

TASK 4
Very important.

We treat ourselves exactly as we think of ourselves.
Dot.

And according to the old Russian tradition, invented by no one knows who, for some reason it is customary for us to look for shortcomings in ourselves. A kind of folk fun - compare yourself with others and find a flaw.
⠀
The most amazing thing is that we always find it. And dances with tambourines begin, in an attempt to reshape and remake oneself to the ideal, in order to allow oneself to love oneself.
But it doesn't work, and then...
Then there is self-loathing. No, to be honest, self-hatred for being so imperfect.
⠀
Accordingly, self-love is postponed until better ideal times.
The circle is closed.
⠀
I suggest you unlock it by writing
DECLARATION OF NON-VIOLENCE TO SELF
You can start with these words
I allow myself to be the way God created me.
I give myself permission to not be perfect
I allow myself to refuse comparisons
I allow myself to change only when it makes me happy.
I will do my best not to think / do / say nasty things about myself
I give up aggression towards myself and replace it with respect
⠀
You can write what you want.
Re-read it in the morning until you understand everything, to the last word.
And implement it - do not compare, approve yourself, etc.
⠀
We treat ourselves exactly the way we think about ourselves, and thoughts can be changed.

A small summary of the exercises
✔1. We determine where we are going - how we will love ourselves
✔2. We find the “outcast” parts of ourselves and try very hard to find use in them. She definitely is.
✔3. Self-care is a very important part of self-love.
No.
Most important!
Regularly ask yourself the question - how can I take care of myself now? And take care.
Believe me, your life will begin to change for the better.
✔4. Declaration of non-violence towards yourself. Read every morning.
Simple four steps answering the question - HOW TO START loving yourself?
⠀
And one more secret. Just read and bookmark - does not work.
Works when you do it.
To love is a verb.

ICPA Coach, ThetaHealing Practitioner, Olga Fresh

Recently a woman came to me for a consultation. Outwardly quite attractive, makes a good impression. Therefore, the question she asked me sounded unexpected to me: “How to love yourself?”. I hear this question from my clients quite often. Moreover, almost every time I have to observe how a bad attitude towards oneself, self-rejection, self-criticism negatively affects people's lives, depriving them of joy and the opportunity to enjoy themselves and the world around them.

To love or not to love… that is the question!

I fully share the point of view that better man treats himself, the more chances he has to become successful and achieve his goals. Good relationship increases the likelihood of achieving heights, for example, in the professional field. To love yourself means to be in harmony with yourself and the world around you, to feel confidence and your own attractiveness, to respect yourself and your desires, to carry a positive charge felt by the people around you.

Dissatisfaction with oneself deprives a person of the ability to enjoy life, often leads to a lowered mood or even causes . A person who does not love himself cannot love someone else, so a common problem for such people is , inability to build productive relationships with others, lack of friends. Self-loathing is often associated with , which is fraught with dissatisfaction with oneself, one's appearance, lack of faith in oneself, constant tension and a sense of one's own worthlessness.

What does it mean to love yourself?

It is important to understand that loving yourself does not mean being selfish. Self-love is a deep acceptance of oneself as a person, as a person, self-respect and a sense of inner well-being. Self-love in this sense should also not be confused with narcissism, which is expressed through empty narcissism and excessive demonstration of one's Ego to others.

The main desire!

As soon as you decide to change the attitude towards yourself and love yourself, the process of change will begin. However, this is not an easy job, and you need to understand that it takes some time. Love yourself instantly, with a wave magic wand you won't be able to. Make adjustments to your appearance quickly and easily, but truly accept and love your inner world happens to be very difficult. The process of self-acceptance takes time, but how much depends only on your desire and on your willingness to change. So where do you start?

Take care of your appearance

Let's start with what, in my opinion, is the easiest to change and transform - this is your appearance. Very often, dissatisfaction with oneself is strongly associated with dissatisfaction with one's own appearance. Moreover, it can be both real problems and imaginary ones. Many flaws in appearance can be easily corrected the right choice clothing that suits your figure, the use of cosmetics, etc. It is important to keep an eye on your appearance at all times - you do not have to be dressed in the most latest fashion into trendy things. The main thing is that it should be clothes that you like and add self-confidence, and your overall appearance is neat and well-groomed. Take the extra 10 minutes to iron your clothes, do your hair, apply makeup, and tidy your shoes before leaving the house. Use perfume, choose a pleasant aroma for yourself that will inspire you. Do not neglect accessories: a beautiful watch or a handy handbag will once again evoke positive emotions in you, uplifting your mood and adding self-confidence.

Your mood and way of thinking determines your inner content, and as a result, your view of the world. Dissatisfaction with oneself causes many negative emotions, such as irritation, anger, despair, etc. Tune in a positive way, learn to enjoy the little things and the world will sparkle for you with bright colors (I wrote about how to improve your mood in the article« » ).

Follow your thoughts. Cut off all the negative epithets that come to your mind: “I'm so ugly”, “I'm so fat, I'm just awful”, “I'm a loser, I will never succeed”, etc. With an effort of will, change these phrases to positive ones that add confidence and a sense of inner well-being, for example: “I am special,” “I can achieve my goal,” “I accept myself and love myself for who I am.”

Move forward, don't stay in one place too long. Develop yourself physically (playing sports) and intellectually (reading books, training programs or refresher courses). Find an activity or hobby that you love that will inspire you and fill you with energy and pleasure. Praise and reward yourself for any, even the most insignificant achievements. Learn to appreciate everything in your life. Special attention focus on your strengths - use them as a support to achieve your goals. If it is difficult to find advantages in yourself, ask your friends and relatives for help. Ask them to make a list of your positives. I am sure you will be surprised by the result - others will surely find many advantages in you! Accept compliments and praise - this will help build self-confidence. Learn to treat criticism not as an insult, but as an opportunity to improve.

Accept your past

Very often, dissatisfaction with yourself can be related to what you are experiencing. for some mistakes or events in the past. Try to look at the events of the past not as a failure, but as an invaluable experience that made you stronger, allowed you to become what you are now. The very realization of a perfect mistake is already work on oneself, it helps to understand and become closer to oneself. But it is important not to get hung up on it, but to move forward, taking into account the experience gained in your present and future life(I wrote about how to accept my past in the article« » ).

Listen to your desires

Allow yourself to do what you want and like. We are not talking about any illegal actions or asocial acts. I mean inner freedom, the ability to choose, listen to yourself, and not be led by others. When doing something, think: do you really want this? For example, when you buy something not quite the right thing, you do it at will, ornot to upset the seller ? Or are you going to a party because you really feel like it, or just because all your friends will be there? There are things that go against your inner beliefs or values, and it's important to notice them. Doing something against your will or violating your principles, you experience unpleasant feelings (tension, anger, sadness, dissatisfaction). They may not immediately become noticeable to you, but as they accumulate, they bring a lot of discomfort and, as a result, dissatisfaction with yourself. Sometimes it is very difficult to distinguish your desire from the imposed one. In this case, it is necessary to develop inner sensitivity and the ability to hear your inner voice (I wrote about how to do this in the article« » ).

Surround yourself with nice people

Think about the people around you. How do you feel around them? Do they fill you with energy and positivity, or do they only cause negative emotions, feelings of guilt or fear, humiliate or suppress you? Do you understand how these people got into your life and why they stay in it for so long? Give up relationships with people with whom communication does not bring you any pleasure and satisfaction, with whom you are uncomfortable interacting. Or try to keep contacts with them to a minimum (if, for example, your relationship is due to functional necessity). This process takes time and requires effort. But if you set such a goal for yourself, you will definitely achieve it. Build relationships with people who inspire you, fill you with energy and positive, from whom you want to take an example and change in better side.

No need to look for a reason to love yourself!Want to be happy man- be it! Fill your life with positive emotions, good mood, nice people, bright events- and you will notice how your attitude to the world and to yourself will change for the better. And the world, in turn, will surely answer you in the same way.

I want to invite all women to a special one. It is about how a woman can love herself, become more confident, cope with life's difficulties, be in harmony with herself and the world around her! The training program "The ABC of a Woman" can be viewed.

With care for you, gestalt therapist.

Relationships between people are an eternal mystery. But the most incomprehensible thing in the world is our relationship with ourselves. The better they stack up, the more likely we are to succeed in everything.

But how difficult, it turns out, to love and appreciate yourself at its true worth. Psychologists say that more than 80% modern people experience any complexes and suffer from low self-esteem.

What is self love

Self-love is a combination of self-acceptance, self-possession (this is not the same as being overly self-involved), self-understanding, self-kindness, and self-respect. Self-love is not only understanding that you are worthy of respect and courteous treatment, but also taking care of yourself. In other words, self-love is a positive attitude towards yourself, which is expressed in actions.

No one can take it and change it so that it becomes more comfortable and more fun with oneself. All attempts come down to ordeals and self-flagellation. The second option - to escape from the unloved one turns into a real hell. Self-alienation, rejection and denial of oneself is the very basis of all mental suffering.

Therefore, psychologists offer to love themselves. Here and now. Without any conditions and reservations. As if by birthright. But no one really explains how to do it and what, in general, such “love” means.

Get rid of negative beliefs about yourself. Many people find it difficult to let go of negative thoughts about themselves. These thoughts are often the result of the opinions of people we value and from whom we expect love and acceptance.

We increase self-esteem

The best self-esteem exercise is the mirror exercise. You should stand up (sit down) in front of a mirror every day and, looking into your eyes, tell yourself for five minutes that you love yourself. Then compliment yourself, pay attention to your strengths in appearance, in character. You should also pay attention to your talents and abilities.

Do this exercise for at least three months, regularly.

Techniques and exercises

To love yourself, no artificial tensions are required. You just need to remove the obstacles that prevent you from accepting yourself as you are. Or, as they say in the East, to wipe the dust of ignorance from the mirror of consciousness.

Let go of guilt to love yourself

The next task is to work with guilt. It should not be in your heart. Let her go. Realize that you are just a person who can make mistakes sometimes.

Do the forgiveness meditation for 1 month or more.

You will free your heart from guilt and open up to love. You will immediately feel better. Much.

Visualize yourself as positive

First, write down what you will visualize. Focus on the end result. You already love yourself. You already have high self-esteem. Include more details and feelings. Pay attention to how you look, how you dress, how you feel, how you think, how you behave, how you communicate… create a clear image of yourself as confident.

Visualize this image regularly for 1-3 months or more.

Doing the 3 practices described (mirror exercise, forgiveness and visualization method) you will not spend a lot of time, it will take only 30-60 minutes a day, but the results will not be long in coming. After a while, you tell yourself sincerely that you really love yourself. You will notice changes within and around you!

Don't call yourself names

It reduces your identity to one small detail that you don't like about yourself.

• If you say that you are a loser when you get fired, it will be dishonest and unfair to you. It's better to say this: "I lost my job, but I can use this experience in finding a new one."
• The phrase "I'm a fool" is also hardly close to the truth. If you feel stupid, chances are you just don't know enough about something. It's better to think like this: "I don't know how to do minor repairs in home. Maybe I could look for tutorials and learn how to do it myself.”

Rewrite the internal script

When you catch yourself thinking bad about yourself, accept this feeling, identify the source of the feeling, and then consciously remake the thought into a more positive one.

• For example, if you forgot to send an important email at work, you might think, “I'm stupid! How could I forget about it?
• Stop yourself and think like this: “I feel stupid because I forgot to send the letter. When I forgot to do something as a child, my father called me a fool. His words are speaking to me now, not my own.” Then move on to the next thought: “I am a good employee who made a small mistake. In the future, I will leave reminders for myself. I will now send a letter and apologize for being late in doing so."

Methodology for increasing self-esteem

Make a list of your positive qualities and think about them daily. If you tend to think poorly of yourself, this may be difficult for you, but you should add one more to the list once a week. good quality. At the end of each day, think about everything on this list.

• Try to make the items on the list very detailed. It is better not to describe yourself in general terms, but to give specific examples.
• For example, instead of "I'm generous," it's better to write something like this: "Every time my friend is in difficult situation, I give her a small but valuable gift that reminds her that I am there. It makes me generous."
• As you read and reflect on the list, remember that each item, no matter how insignificant it may seem, makes you a person worthy of respect and love.

Why don't we love ourselves

Get rid of the negative filter. Thinking about bad things can become a habit. If you focus on negative or just unpleasant events all the time, they will begin to seem more important than they really are.

If you notice that you see only the bad things that happen to you, try to find a refutation of this. Surely not everything that happens is bad.

Avoid perfectionism. Some people find it difficult to put up with anything that differs from their ideal image. If you feel like you're striving for an ideal and get frustrated when you can't achieve it, do this: stop the flow of thoughts, concentrate on the effort that will be required to achieve the goal, and then take action

Focus not on the final result (to which the criteria of the ideal apply), but on the efforts required to achieve this result (they are more difficult to classify). This will help you appreciate your work.

How to develop self love

To develop self-love, you should understand what you really want. This means forgetting what your parents demanded or acquaintances imposed on you.

If medicine is not attractive, then what is the point of graduating from an appropriate university and doing an unloved thing all your life?

The same goes for hobbies. Even if someone laughs at the fact that a person in adulthood sculpts from plasticine, glues ship models and watches cartoons, you simply should not pay attention. The job is fun and that's the main thing. There is no need to chase fashion, to imitate someone, doing what makes you turn back. It is important to do everything to make you feel comfortable and interesting.

A lack of self-love can cause you to make the wrong choice. Lack of self-love often means a lack of self-respect, which causes a person, consciously or unconsciously, to undermine all his endeavors and prevent him from satisfying his basic needs.

• Lack of self-love can make your self-worth dependent on the opinions of others. If a person seeks to receive appreciation only from others, he begins to neglect his own interests in order to obtain the approval of others.
• Lack of self-love also prevents a person from developing emotionally and forgetting emotional traumas. The results of one study indicate that people who tend to blame themselves and neglect their needs achieve little success in psychotherapy.

Each of us has a sea of ​​possibilities, plans and desires. You need to start by understanding how to love yourself. By accepting yourself, you are taking the first and already significant step towards making your life much better. Everyone in this world deserves to be loved and happy. And you are definitely no exception.

Video

People need to love and respect themselves. It's not about selfishness or selfishness. To love yourself means to believe in the power of your spirit. A person who is satisfied with himself knows that he has a goal and tries in every possible way to achieve it. Accepting all your pluses and minuses, making friends with yourself is not so easy as it seems at first glance. To do this, you need to achieve harmony. It is she who will fill human life with happiness. Learn the advice of a psychologist on how to start loving and respecting yourself. If you are ready to work on yourself and change, then go ahead!

What does it mean to love yourself?

If a person loves himself, then he is comfortable alone with himself and in company. He is confident in his abilities, he makes all decisions independently. Such a person knows which path to follow, respects his mistakes.

First, take a look at yourself. Treat yourself like good friend. Don't know how to start loving yourself? It's not that hard. First, on a piece of paper, make a list of what you call love. Some of the items on this list are:

• take care of yourself;
• to please yourself with little things;
• calm in difficult situations;
• strive for spiritual and professional growth;
• do not deprive yourself of praise.

Doing the above is very important. Additionally, you can remember healthy way life, appearance. Proper nutrition, outdoor activities, sufficient care for the body, hair, teeth make a person attractive and increase his self-esteem.

Your level of self-esteem

Where to start self-esteem, how to start loving yourself? The advice of psychologists is aimed at performing one simple exercise. For this you will need Blank sheet paper and pen. Draw a line from one corner of the sheet to the other. After that, put a point on it that would be associated with your vision of yourself. The interpretation of the results of such a test is as follows:

• If you put a mark close to the middle of the line, then you have an optimal level of self-esteem. You clearly love yourself, but consider the opinions of others.
• If you were inspired to put a dot on top of the line, then you have too high self-esteem. You don't just love, you adore yourself. Do not forget about the feelings of others.
• The dot you put at the bottom of the line indicates an underestimation. You listen too much to the opinions of others, you almost do not value yourself.

The last test result stimulates to change this situation. How to start loving yourself again? Further you will know actionable advice psychologists.

Negativity and criticism are the worst enemies

Everyone has heard that thoughts are material. It is very important to think positively. Catch yourself on every negative thought, switch to the right track. How to do it? Here are some psychologists' tips:

1. Don't be selfish, stop criticizing yourself. All people make mistakes, so respect yourself and accept with all the shortcomings.
2. Let go of all past gaps and grievances, forgive everyone, including yourself. Analyze all your mistakes and learn from it.
3. Think positively about yourself. Focus on the positives to cultivate and develop them. feel good and positive person, albeit with minor flaws.
4. Be responsible for everything that happens to you, do not blame anyone for anything. Learn to control your perception. Remember, the choice is always yours, any situation can be changed. Your life is in your hands!

You need to change your thinking gradually, do not boil over. If you were a big self-critic, then it will take time for you to become a self-sufficient person.

Change theory with practice

Not enough to have theoretical information, do not forget about the practical direction. To do this, psychologists recommend performing very interesting exercises that will help you to perceive yourself as a whole.

1. "Reflect on yourself".

Answer the following questions honestly:

• Who you are? (Specify gender, age, profession and type of activity).
• What are you satisfied and dissatisfied with about yourself?
• Do you have any achievements worthy of pride?
• What are you striving for?
• What are your best skills?
• What do people see good and bad in you?
• Reasons for your failures?

This exercise leads to self-knowledge, will help to determine all the pros and cons.

2. "Advantages and disadvantages".

Take a pen and a blank sheet of paper. Draw a vertical line down the middle of it. Write down your strengths on one side and your weaknesses on the other. Read all the information provided carefully. Then tear off half of the sheet with the listed minuses, wrinkle and discard. Try to re-read the saved piece with merits as often as possible. If suddenly there are additions, then feel free to include them to your pluses. You can record even the smallest victories. Over time, self-love will begin to develop.

3. "I'm not the same as yesterday."

Don't put yourself in opposition to other people. Notice all the good and bad behind you, fix it. In the evening, check your notes and compare with the previous ones, analyze. If you yourself notice the dynamics of changes, then this will be a great stimulation. Respect yourself, confess to yourself in love!

Daily work on yourself

If you want to learn the philosophy of how to start loving yourself, then remember the regularity of your actions. After waking up and at night, mentally wish yourself well. Start the day with a greeting, praise yourself, wish good night. Such a simple ritual will accustom your mind to a positive attitude towards your personality. Soon you will not notice how you begin to love yourself.

Try talking to your reflection in the mirror. Smile, say a few commendable phrases addressed to you. Women can imagine themselves as the heroine of the film "The most charming and attractive." Say approving phrases: "I like myself, I'm attractive and sweet, men like me." After a while, you will notice the effectiveness of this exercise.

Do not forget about small gifts and surprises. It can be some kind of accessory, cosmetic or wardrobe item. Don't forget to take care of your body. Exercise, eat right. Beautiful body Another reason to be proud of yourself.

Basic steps to get rid of insecurity

So, after learning how to start loving yourself, follow these steps:

Get rid of the role of the victim and learn to forgive

Happiness is within you. Some problems from a distant childhood do not allow a person to learn how to start loving and respecting themselves. The advice of psychologists only proves that sometimes parents, in their desire to raise a well-mannered person, humiliate and offend their child. This does not mean that you need to keep the offense for life.

The highest degree of humanity is forgiveness. Forgive everyone, including yourself. Know that in some cases people are driven by fear and ignorance. If you are tormented by resentment and pain, then forgive the offenders mentally. Let go of the situation. It is impossible to correct the mistakes of the past, try to make your future happy.

Self love and selfishness: what's the difference?

Many people confuse self-love and self-respect with selfishness. On the contrary, if you don't love yourself, you won't love others. To increase self-esteem and not step over the line of selfishness, remember the following tips:

• People are not perfect, everyone can make mistakes, do not demand too much from others.
• Be frank with your neighbors, express your wishes and disagreements.
• Consider the opinions of others, but always have your own point of view.
• Accept people as they are, don't try to change them.

Always remember that change takes time. Start your journey with small steps to reach your goal!

Books "How to start loving yourself?"

There are a lot of books that will help you auto-train and feel happy. Many have been guided by the great book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. It helps to increase self-esteem and self-confidence, fight shyness and indecision. The main postulate of this book: "Love yourself - and life will love you"!

Many are familiar with the books of the famous doctor Kurpatov. One of them is called "12 non-trivial decisions. Find peace in your soul." She gives a lot of useful and useful tips about with all the flaws.

Louise Hay devoted more than 30 books to psychology. One of them is "Love yourself. Trust your life." The author has formulated 10 ways to become happy.

Many have heard about family psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky, who is the most expensive and sought-after specialist in Moscow. He has a book "Love yourself with any appearance." The author gives a lot of advice about increasing self-esteem. All these works are united by one important advice You must feel your importance!