"A woman is created for a man, not a man for a woman" - such a postulate the Russian Orthodox Church imposed such a postulate. This gave birth to the distrust of both sexes to each other, so marriages were not loved by love, but by the will of the parents. In such families, the spouses treated each other with dislike, did not appreciate each other - therefore, the betrayal often accompanied such relationships, despite the censure of society.

Ancient Russia

The earliest document in which is mentioned about the marital infidelity - the Charter of Prince Yaroslav Wise. It says that a man was considered adultery, if he had not only a mistress, but also children from her. For a treason, a man should pay a penalty of the church, and the size of the fine defined the prince. In the chronicles, there is a record that Mstislav Vladimirovich (son Vladimir Monomakh) "did not attend wives, and she (Princess), who knows that Nimalo did not insult ... now, he continued (according to the chronicle), - Princess as a young man , wants to have fun, and maybe despite the fact that both obscene, it is already uncomfortable for me, but rather that no one knows about that, and does not say. "

A treason of a woman was considered any connection of a woman with an outsider man. Her husband needed to punish the frivolity of his wife. If he robbed a grant and continued to live with her, he was punished with him. To avoid punishment, a man needed to divorce with the wrong spouse, and not to delay this moment: "Is still a wife from her husband with another, the husband is guilty, putting it ..."

XVII and XVIII century

In the XVII and XVIII century, married treason was a reason for the divorce. In Doperer Times, the husband could get rid of the Year of the Epitia and the fine, the woman always carried a cleaner punishment than a man. If a woman was closed in treason, then after the divorce she had to join a spinning courtyard, and she was forbidden to marry again. To prove to grasp the wife, the husband was supposed to bring witnesses. This was reflected in the saying of Vladimir Dalya: "Not caught - not a thief, not raised - not bl-b."

The nobles treated treason tolerant. The peasants were much severely treated treason and cried it. However, punishments did not become an obstacle to the marital treason. This is reflected in the sayings: "How loves the girl Watta - it's not to blame for anyone," "Not the mother ordered - he herself wanted" and especially: "Language Mil husband - yes, not a century to live with him, and it's up to drag with him."

There were many cases when the husband "Divorce did not seek" with a change. Often, the spouse agreed to the punishment of his wife - whipping, whip or correctional work. The wife, who caught on treason, was forbidden to wear her husband's name. Epitia for wives was many years (up to 15 years), or she was sent to the monastery.

Holding husbands demanding it with "incorrect" always satisfied. This led to the fact that if the man "the wife did not need", "it was a convenient pretext to divorce and start a new family. However, there were many cases when they were bred at the request of his wife. If the husband "caught" her husband was "caught", his punishment was a diligent conversation with a "spiritual father."

XIX - early XX century

In the XIX century, as in the previous centuries, the wife treated is stricter than to the treason of her husband. A man was obsessed by a moral punishment. There was a nuance: in society a divorced man secretly set restrictions on promotion, could not give the desired position. This situation is described by Lion Tolstoy in Anna Karenina. In common, "scoring punishments" were used. To treason, the woman treated strictly "such women doubly sin - and the purity is broken, and the law corrupt ... the abstracts, non-combat".

Men used "treason" of his wife as a reason to divorce with it, so hundreds of this kind of such a kind in archives. The volost courts in this case were assigned to the woman - "Promotation" formal punishment - arrest, public works. The husband could and independently punish his wife - to drive out her from home, taking the dowry from her. Wife could not divorce her husband. Men did not give consent to the divorce, "And without the consent of her husband, she would not give passports." But the woman could revenge the deliberate for transferred humiliation - in the Yaroslavl province, for example, the wives could beat the windows, smeared the house of soot and the gate of Degtem.

In the Yaroslavl province and in the Volga region, the husband could beat his wife, and in the Volga region was considered to be correct to beat it "in humans." In the Russian north, in the Tver and Kostroma province, they preferred "not sophistication from huts" and there are old men, the judges of the wrong wives and husbands appeared. A common form of female punishment was its "injection" in the cart. Husband forced her to carry him, and himself beat her whore.

In the XX century, punishment for treason was transformed. Divorces have become difficult, the Soviet government adhered to the "Family Strengthening" policies. A person's private life has ceased to be private, personal relationships and intimate relationships became part of the party and Komsomol collections. Throughout the existence of the USSR, the tradition of discussion of family crises at meetings, the state policy of the "strong Soviet family" was actively satisfied with the minds of citizens.

He caught himself thinking that anger and hatred for his ex-wife, which was betrayed - absolutely meaningless and useless occupation: Is it possible to hate night, thunderstorms, a hurricane, tsunami. They need to be taken as an objective reality and dality, as a fact not subject to any refutation. It is only possible to insure a person to the approaching element: reprehensively take an umbrella from the rain or, if very very bad weather, sit down in reliable and cozy shelter. Can he put his hand on the heart, honestly admit to himself, what did he do everything for the rescue of his marriage? Of course not. The fact that he did not know his wife did not know what she thinks how he feels in a relationship with him, that she lacks for complete happiness; It was not aware of its plans for the future, which for a long time she did not associate with him, is him and only his wines, her husband's wines. With my wife, you need to constantly communicate, spend all the time as possible together - all this he seemed well and understood, but for some reason he did not do: "And why: and so everything is fine, otherwise you can not be, of course, we have In the family everything is fine. " It is not true, a rather common misconception in men - the wife does not go anywhere, why is it necessary to be more superior. And now, now, he received a deserved punishment of fate: His wife has always been an egoist, and her attitude towards marriage was not such a holy, as he has a husband, but as to "the relationships that come and go ..." He is in Shock, in confusion: how so, it can not, this is some kind of misunderstanding, my wife could not be like that. No, as we can see, it was always that: I just suppressed my desire for freedom, to a new brightened life, fearing my husband and sorry for young children, which in the case of a divorce could remain without parents. And now, when the children grew up, an ideal time to declare her husband about the "end of the relationship" with him, and finally find the dream of the dream of all his life about a beautiful and happy life, genuine female happiness, and not worried in the past marriage. The problem is only in the former husband: he was blind in marriage, which still cannot believe what happened. The ideal image of my wife, which he designed in his head in marriage, could not accept the "terrible" shocking truth - his wife was not at all such a person as he imagined her. Unlike a careless, frivolous husband, who did not distinguish himself on whom he marries, his wife knew that he was for a man. She, you see, I wanted to change it in marriage. All attempts turned out to be vainly, therefore - divorce. That is, besides the fact that the wife was a narcissistic, wrought-down woman, she was still, to put it mildly, it is not reasonable enough: how can the husband "change", if instead of exercising his best male qualities - independence, responsibility, determination, initiative - He admired these qualities of his strong wife. Even loved her for these purely male qualities: he considered them a manifestation of her disinterested and sacrificial love for him. He didn't even respected him for it for this, he considered him a infantile man who could not solve the material and domestic issues of the family. At the time when the husband naively believed that the wife "all makes herself" for his dedication and loyalty, for selfless love for her. In other words, the husband and wife tribal changed roles in the family: the wife became her husband, and her husband was his wife. It always happens in marriages, in which the woman is stronger than a man than a man, and when a man himself contributes to this, self-sustaining the decision of economic issues, shifting them on his wife's shoulders. The husband may not even be a weaker wife, but the role of his wife as a mother, it is quite suitable. Referring to his wife as a mother, the husband begins to love her with sons love, forgetting about his male responsibilities. So it may be finally dealing with my marriage in my marriage, it is worth stopping and tormenting yourself with anger and hatred for ex-wife. To admit that in what happened (divorce) you are to blame for yourself - a man. First, it was not married not on that man, secondly, I did not understand that the woman "wants", and thirdly - forgot to married that you were a man, and should be the master in the house, and not a wife. The wrong wife in marriage is like a natural disaster: how it is not angry - you still won't stop. The only salvation is another love, but with all the lessons and conclusions made in the previous marriage.

Not a single family © shutterstock is not insured against married treason

Invalid men respect and appreciate their marriage. According to M. Khanta, the majority of men who decide on marital infidelity, consider their family life quite prosperous. And they are not at all inclined because of such trivia, as their own marital infidelity, destroy the family.

In women, everything is completely different (who would doubt, really?). Most women are solved on married infidelity, if they consider their marriage unhappy.

Sophisticated treason for men is a bright sexy adventure. Men eager for a purely sensual adventure: they entail a different body, in most cases - younger. Married treason for men is doping so that their blood boolean.

Most women are looking for feeling and friendship in marital treasure:usually women are tied to a man emotionally, and only then think about physical proximity. According to a survey conducted by M. Khantht, 81% of women with lovers, the first place put the friendship and confidence of the lover, and the sexy is honored second place. Note: In the world, there are still 19% of women for whom sex is in the first place.

© shutterstock.

In married men, married treason is usually fleeting.Numerous, but fleeting. Other women sit down men just like sexual partners. All their spiritual torments about the career takeoffs, falls and other secrets of their thin shower they prefer to carry wives.

A woman is long enough to go to his first marital treason.It cannot only change the body and therefore cannot understand the behavior of a man. It is difficult for a woman to understand how this man may not remember the name of the woman with whom he slept a couple of months ago after the corporate party.

© shutterstock.

The brand of wine that he drank, a man, you see, remember! Was his friend's corporate party - I also remember! But what was the name of the girl, whom he helped put on the coat, and who woke up on his shoulder - does not remember! In contrast to the cute nuances in sex such as its consent to anal sex.

A woman remembers the name of his lover many years after this man left her life.

© shutterstock.

Conclusions? Still trying to accept that the psychology of the man is very different from the female. And, probably, learn to live by this: if your man is now, at that moment, next to you and you are happy with this, maybe you should not arrange interrogations with the addiction and try to find out the name of the girl who does not sincerely remember? BUT?

Treason his own husband is the most common cause of those on which our conscientious women turn to psychologists. In one case, treason is a single misunderstanding, in the other - a love triangle (options for the development of events - a lot) But regardless of the situation, the question arises before the woman - what to do next?

Is it worth falling the spouse to the legs and pray for forgiveness, or in the family name, pretend that nothing happened? What do psychologists talk about this topic?

The main reasons for women's change - and are you familiar with them?

In men, the attitude towards treason is surprisingly simple - " not caught - not changed " And to talk about the treasures of his wife - almost moving. Well, if only as a last resort, when the family boat holes are not hidden, and there is a desire to film the "shameless" girlfriend of life, which is not able to appreciate the stars nor the whole world thrown to her legs.

But what about the weak half of humanity? A rare woman belongs to the treason "Missing" - that is, as a normal phenomenon and under the motto "Good Levak strengthens marriage." Usually, Women change for certain reasons and after hard to experience treason - With remorse of conscience, mental thumbnails and zarma "More - for nothing!".

Why and in what cases does a wife change her husband?

• Wife - Head of Family
  This situation is not at all uncommon in our time. And precisely with such a role in the family, the chances of a woman on Ajulter are growing greatly. In this case, there is a change of places of "the components", and the wife, changing the traditional worldview, decides that the right to the forbidden fruit belongs to it in fact - "I am main here, and all the unhappy dependents can go to mom."
• Physical dissatisfaction within its bed
  If the sexual relations of the spouses are a "five-minute run" in honor of March 8 (or even more often, but mechanically, for a tick, for an interesting series or football), then the natural development of events is an invalid search for someone who can suffer. As a rule, with this "someone" relationships become different (although, it happens, and develop into a long-playing novel), and the family collapses.
• Ajulter at work
  And there are options. One boldly pursues a colleague, unscrupulously enveloping her loop of a breathtaking perfume, "by chance" touching his hands and invulsively winking towards the cafeteria. Sooner or later (if there are prerequisites in the form of problems in the family) "Defense" women falls, and a new client for an anonymous mug "Hello, my name is Alla, I changed my husband" ready. Another option is corporate. Under the influence of alcohol and taking into the will of emotions, women make a lot of stupidities.
• Vacation - Walk, So Walk!
  In some families, oddly enough, it is customary to rest apart. It is possible to rest apart from each other and have to miss their half. And sometimes go together to rest just does not go out - the work holds. As a result, the wife rides with a girlfriend and ... Sea, a warm evening, a glass of wine, hot tanned lines from another country - and the program "I am married!" In the head goes into sleep mode.
• Extreme
  This option can be attributed to dissatisfaction in bed with my husband, but everything is more complicated here. Just the stability "in bed" is not all. There are also such ladies that are just bored without the "Poker" and experiments. Extreme, exciting from the head to the legs, becomes random sex, sex with the chef in the office, with a colleague - on the desktop, with a friend - in the restaurant toilet, etc. Of course, not all options at once (this is already a difficult case), and one of them. And repentance with the flour of conscience usually after such a marathon does not happen. If the spouse is able to satisfy all the extreme desires of its half, then the need for treason simply disappears.
• "Heredity"
  In this rule a lot of exceptions. But still, it is a proven fact that the girl, in front of which Mom regularly changed fans, begins to assume that such behavior is normal. And thickening from her husband (if well, I really wanted, the cards lay down and the night is so wondering) is not scary. He still does not recognize anything.
• Age
  Again, the rule is excluded (all under one comb is impossible). But young wives are still too unstable in what they even want from life. And the divorce in the case of a small intrigue is usually not frightened - "Well, okay, the queue behind me is worth such as you." Adult women are more stable in relationships. They already know that one of the whales on which the family holds is trust. And the percentage of progress in adult women is extremely low. Moreover, "the queue of fans" every year is all shorter and shorter.
• Long separation
  The spouse in the army, on a business trip, spouse - a sailor or trucker, etc. Tired of solitude (but, of course, the faithful) woman suddenly meets a man who "understands" her and is ready to substitute his strong "friendly" shoulder. A strong shoulder is quickly transformed into a hot arms, in which the woman falls, without even thinking. Because already forgotten it is. Of course, it will be conscientious. And before the spouse's arrival, a woman will have time to urge himself with remorse of conscience so much that it is immediately recognized, or by that time will understand what to say, in principle, and nothing. Because "All the same, the husband is the best."
• Bad example
  Some women are going together to embroider with a cross. Others - discuss global problems and "how to make a child doing lessons." The third of the meetings arrange the competition - who has a handbag, more expensive boots, dark tan and more lovers. There are others, of course, but the third option is the most "meaningless and merciless". "Have a lover" for some girls is almost a prestige issue. Like a good car or a dog for $ 2,000. And the young girls who have fallen under the influence of such ladies are also beginning to think that to thirst from fool-husband (his "wallet on the legs") is normal.
• Revenge and offense
  Powerful factor. This reason for treason is the most common. "OK OK", treason for treason. Naturally, it is not necessary to talk about the preservation of the family in such a situation. Although it happens that such mutual shakes becomes for both spouses the beginning of a new stable life.
• Inattention husband
  Any family once comes the moment of fatigue from each other or the "moment of crisis". And it depends on both - whether they will survive this period without shaking or disperse, the charter to throw up firewood into a family hearth. As a rule, the scenario is the same: the husband is no longer telling gentle words, does not make surprises, does not kiss when leaving at work, it has to take it to storming, etc. Charter from vain attempts to change the situation, the woman begins to look around. See also:

Instructions for the wrong wife - what to do after treason?

For most women own treason - a serious test , to get out of which, without losing the "face", quite difficult.

How to be if the "terrible" happened - what experts advise?

• Admit or not admit? Before making a choice, ask yourself: Do you like your husband? Would you like to go with him in one family boat to a happy old age? What is the cause of treason? Can you live as before considering the fact of treason? And how can the situation develop after your recognition?
• If you love your husband, if everything is arranged in it, and the treason is a random episode (under the influence of alcohol, emotions, resentment, etc.), which you do not intend to repeat and about which no one ever knows (this is the main thing), then to confess her husband is not worth. Because the recognition, as a rule, follows a divorce. The awareness of your guilt will certainly pursue you and territe, but you have the opportunity to redeem your guilt by all-consuming love for your spouse and save the family.
• If there is at least 0.001%, which truth pops upIf you are almost caught with political, if even a psychologist did not help you get rid of remorse, and recognition rushes out of you, barely look into your husband's eyes - admit. It is possible that the husband will understand and forgive you. Sometimes betray even becomes an excellent reason - finally discuss the problems accumulated in the family and eliminate all misunderstandings between the spouses. Just do not tell your husband all intimate details. And convince him that everything happened in circumstances that did not depend on you (alcohol, eclipse, revenge for the blonde, etc.). And do not forget to add that you understand your stupidity, you do not want a divorce, and in general "there is no one better than you."
• Understand the reasons that pushed you on treason. Maybe something time to change in family life? Or did the moment of serious conversation come up with her husband? Or do you need more from my spouse more than he can give you? Or maybe love just no longer lives in your house? From the clarity of understanding of the reason, your decision depends - to be or not to be. That is, is it worth to forget about the Adulter and return to her husband's hands or time to tell him the truth and start a new life without him?

How to be if the conscience deprives you of sleep, and you feel that if you do not lose this stone from the soul, it will be easier to get drowned with him? How to calm your conscience and delete the adulter from memory If you catastrophically do not want to confess your husband in treason and are afraid of losing him?

• Work on bugs
  Take away from the scholarship and analyze your life. If in a good company under a glass-other you start dancing on the table, and you pull on the feats, then categorically avoid such companies and alcohol. If you lack in bed diversity, open your husband "All the secrets of pleasure after 10 years of marriage." It is unlikely to be against. If you have at work - completely gorgeous guys, and the view of everyone is drowning age-old ice, then it's time to look for another job. Etc.
• Remember: time treats
  Of course, the precipitate will remain, but there are no "Delete" buttons in our memory, so relax, stop sprinkling ashes head, take treason as a faithful fact and live on. All the same nothing can be changed. If it is very bad - go to the father to confession and do everything so that you still have even desire to change.
• Take your head with more useful thoughts
  Find a hobby that helps you abstract from this "shameful moment."
• Try to ignore everything that can remind you about treason
  Do not go to the cafe in which you sat with the "ADUALTANT", do not walk the streets and delete all the data about it from the phone, a notebook and computer.
• Dedote yourself to your husband and family
  Return more often by the time you just got acquainted with my spouse (especially return to him when thoughts come about a random man). Lelle in yourself a sense of love for her husband.
• If you feel that you just break away from the feeling of guilt, do not fall out the truth on my husband
  Take it to the one who hears you, will understand and bury your secret in a cup of coffee (friend, girlfriend, parents are a close person). Relief is accurately guaranteed.

Well, a little about "prevention". As soon as you get up on the "slippery path" of the classier, barely only sparks of the future fire of random passion flare out inside - immediately think about whether you are ready to sacrifice family happiness, psyche of children and confidence For the sake of the hour (night) of pleasure.

Women change ... someone entails the thirst for new sensations, others dream of caressing and attention, not to wait for her husband, and some ladies simply do not know how to be loyal.

This article will be useful to men who suspected a novel in the behavior of the spouse. We will tell about how the wrong wife behaves and how to catch it in treason.

New habits

With the advent of a new man, a number of completely new habits appear in a woman. She begins to paint differently, changes hairstyle, buy other spirits, changes the image. Self-incorrect wives begin to go on their lovers, carefully listen to their wishes and try to please. As a result, the appearance and habits begin to change.

NEW CLOTHES

For several years your wife, for several years, wore the same coat, rarely bought new boots, only occasionally acquired blouses and skirts, and then suddenly it pulled it on shopping. There is something to think about. If these changes are not related to changing the kind of activity or work, it is worth paying attention!

Irritation

It splashes out from the subconscious. The wife begins to be emotionally removed, does not want to talk to her usual topics. Moreover, the feeling of guilt makes her constantly annoying her husband: with the reason and without him. Sometimes anger and irritation goes to children.

Consent

Previously, my wife was constantly swearing, and now it and it agrees, began to cook more and spend suspiciously to pay for you? One of two: either she decided to revise your relationship and began to appreciate the family, or such a method is trying to block the guilt.

BEHAVIOR

A woman who has found a lover changes his tactics and behavior. She is no longer interested to meet her husband from work - she is busy reading the newspaper, watching the series or something else that it seems more important.

New girlfriends who for some reason never come to visit

Yes, yes, most of the ladies are exactly so trying to cover their relationship with the lover. As a result, a mythical girlfriend appears, which takes her to a bath, swimming pool, gym, movies. Only hiking for wellness centers and pools for some reason do not affect the figure and appearance. In addition, putting it, many women do not even take replacement clothes with them, departing allegedly to classes in the gym. Do not be lazy to check if your fabulous went to play sports.

Internet and phone calls

Your spouse suddenly began to communicate a lot on the phone or the clock hangs on social networks, although before such "sins" did not have been noticed for her. It's time to think. Maybe someone has it? And the wife begins to hide the phone so that you do not find any number or SMS in it.

Developing

This is another sign that you can find out whether everything is so good as before. The wrong wife suddenly begins to linger at work, referring to permanent ruffles, a shortage of time or unscheduled reports. If such a situation continues more than a month, it is worthwhile.

Some incorrect wives come up with very strange courses on fitness, drawing, English or anything else, trying to explain their delay.

And remember - treason for a woman is not a passion and love proximity, but just attention, understanding and good attitude. If all this will give her you, then the spouses will not appear the desire to look for someone on the side.

Mar 31, 2015 tigress ... S.