Witnesses at the wedding in the church. Witnesses at the wedding: who can be a witness and who is not

Inga Mayakovskaya

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wedding - an important event in the life of every Christian family. It is rare that couples get married on their wedding day (in order to "kill two birds with one stone") - in most cases, couples still approach this issue deliberately, realizing the importance of this ceremony and experiencing a sincere and mutual desire to become a full-fledged, according to church canons, family .

How does this ceremony take place, and what do you need to know about it?

How to prepare for the sacrament of the wedding correctly?

A wedding is not a wedding, where they walk for 3 days, fall on their faces in a salad and beat them to each other according to tradition. A wedding is a sacrament through which a couple receives a blessing from the Lord in order to live together in sorrow and joy all their lives, be faithful to each other “to the grave”, give birth and raise children.

Without a wedding, marriage is considered “inferior” by the Church. And, of course, it must be appropriate. And this is not about organizational issues that are resolved in 1 day, but about spiritual preparation.

A couple who takes their wedding seriously will definitely take into account the requirements that some newlyweds forget about in pursuit of fashionable wedding photos. But spiritual preparation is an important part of the wedding, as the beginning of a new life for a couple - from a clean (in every sense) slate.

The preparation includes a 3-day fast, during which you need to prepare for the ceremony prayerfully, as well as refrain from intimate relationships, animal food, bad thoughts, etc. In the morning before the wedding, the husband and wife confess and take communion together.

Video: Wedding. Step-by-step instruction

Betrothal - how is the wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church?

Betrothal is a kind of "introductory" part of the sacrament that precedes the wedding. It symbolizes the consummation of a church marriage in the presence of the Lord and the strengthening of the mutual promises of a man and a woman.

1. Betrothal is not in vain done immediately after Divine Liturgy - the couple is shown the importance of the sacrament of marriage and the spiritual awe with which they should enter into marriage.
2. Betrothal in the temple symbolizes the acceptance by the husband of his wife from the Lord himself : the priest introduces the couple into the temple, and from that moment their life together, new and pure, begins in the face of God.
3. The beginning of the rite is censing : the priest 3 times blesses the husband and wife in turn with the words "In the Name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit." In response to the blessing, everyone overshadows himself with the sign of the cross (note - he is baptized), after which the priest passes them already lit candles. This is a symbol of love, fiery and pure, which a husband and wife should now have for each other. In addition, candles are a symbol of the chastity of a man and a woman, as well as God's grace.
4. cruciform incense symbolizes the presence next to the couple of the grace of the Holy Spirit.
5. Next comes a prayer for the betrothed and for their salvation (souls) , about the blessing for the birth of children, about the fulfillment of those requests of the couple to God that relate to their salvation, about the blessing of the couple for every good deed. After that, all those present, including the husband and wife, should bow their heads before God in anticipation of a blessing, while the priest reads a prayer.
6. After praying to Jesus Christ, betrothal follows : the priest puts on the ring to the groom, "betrothing the servant of God ..." and 3 times overshadowing him with a cross. Then he puts on the ring to the bride, "betrothing the servant of God ..." and autumnal her with the sign of the cross three times. It is important to note that the rings (which the groom should give!) Symbolize an eternal and inseparable union at the wedding. The rings lie, until the moment they are put on, on the right side of the holy throne, which symbolizes the power of sanctification before the face of the Lord and his blessing.
7. Now the bride and groom must exchange rings three times (note - in the word of the Holy Trinity): the groom puts his ring on the bride as a symbol of his love and willingness to help his wife until the end of his days. The bride puts her ring on the groom as a symbol of her love and willingness to accept his help until the end of her days.
8. Next - the priest's prayer for the blessing and betrothal of this couple by the Lord and sending them a Guardian Angel to guide them in their new and pure Christian life. The ceremony of betrothal ends here.

Video: Russian wedding in the Orthodox Church. wedding ceremony

The sacrament of the wedding - how is the ceremony?

The second part of the sacrament of marriage begins with the exit of the bride and groom to the middle of the temple with candles in their hands, as with the spiritual light of the sacrament. In front of them is a priest with a censer, which symbolizes the importance of following the path of the commandments and offering their good deeds as incense to the Lord.

The choir greets the couple with the singing of Psalm 127.

• Next, the couple stands on a white towel spread out in front of the lectern : both in the face of God and the Church confirm their free will, as well as the absence in their past (note - from each side!) of promises of marriage with another person. The priest asks these traditional questions to the bride and groom, in turn.
• Confirmation of a voluntary and unshakable desire to marry secures a natural marriage , which is now considered a prisoner. Only after this does the sacrament of the wedding begin.
• The wedding rite begins with the proclamation of the couple's participation in the Kingdom of God and three lengthy prayers - to Jesus Christ and to the Triune God. After that, the priest marks (in turn) the bride and groom with a cruciform crown, “crowning the servant of God ...”, and then “crowning the servant of God ...”. The groom must kiss the image of the Savior on his crown, the bride - the image Mother of God that adorns her crown.
• Now for the bride and groom in crowns comes the most important minute of the wedding when with the words “Lord, our God, crown them with glory and honor!” the priest, as a link between people and God, blesses the couple three times, reading a prayer three times.
• Blessing of marriage by the Church symbolizes the eternity of the new Christian union, its indissolubility.
• This is followed by the reading of the Epistle to the Ephesians by St. apostle paul , and then the Gospel of John about the blessing and sanctification of the marriage union. Then the priest pronounces a petition for those who are married and a prayer for peace in the new family, honesty of marriage, purity of cohabitation and life together according to the commandments until old age.
• After "And vouchsafe us, Master ..." everyone reads the prayer "Our Father" (it should be learned in advance if you didn’t know it by heart until the moment of preparation for the wedding). This prayer on the lips of a married couple symbolizes the determination to fulfill the will of the Lord on earth through their family, to be devoted and obedient to the Lord. As a sign of which, the husband and wife bow their heads under the crowns.
• They bring a "chalice of communication" with Cahors , and the priest blesses her and gives her as a sign of joy, offering to drink wine three times, first to the head new family and then his wife. They drink wine in 3 tiny sips as a sign of inseparable existence from now on.
• Now the priest must join the right hands of the married, cover them with stole (note - a long ribbon around the priest's neck) and put your palm on top, as a symbol of the husband receiving his wife from the Church itself, which in Christ united these two forever.
• The couple is traditionally circled three times around the lectern : on the first circle they sing “Isaiah, rejoice ...”, on the second - the troparion “Holy Martyr”, and on the third Christ is glorified. This walk symbolizes the eternal procession that from this day begins for the couple - hand in hand, with a common cross (life burdens) for two.
• Crowns are removed from spouses and the priest greets the new Christian family with solemn words. Then he reads two prayers-petitions, during which the husband and wife bow their heads, and after the end they seal pure mutual love with a chaste kiss.
• Now, according to tradition, married spouses are led to the royal gates : here the head of the family must kiss the icon of the Savior, and his wife - the image of the Mother of God, after which they change places and are again applied to the Images (only vice versa). Here they kiss the cross, which the priest brings, and receive 2 icons from the servant of the Church, which can now be kept as a family heirloom and the main amulets of the family, and passed on to the next generations.

Candles after the wedding are kept in the icon case, at home. And after the death of the last spouse, these candles (according to the Russian old custom) are placed in the coffin for him, both.

The task of the witnesses at the wedding ceremony in the church - what do the guarantors do?

Witnesses must be believers and baptized - a friend of the groom and a girlfriend of the bride, who after the wedding will become the spiritual mentors of this couple and its prayer guardians.

Witness task:

1. Hold the crowns over the heads of those who are getting married.
2. Give them wedding rings.
3. Lay a towel in front of the lectern.

However, if the witnesses do not know their duties, this is not a problem. The priest will tell the guarantors about them, preferably in advance, so that there are no “overlays” during the wedding.

It is important to remember that a church marriage cannot be dissolved - the Church does not give divorces. The exception is the death of a spouse or his loss of reason.

And finally - a couple of words about the wedding meal

A wedding, as mentioned above, is not a wedding. And the Church warns against the possible obscene and irreverent behavior of all those present at the wedding after the sacrament.

Decent Christians dine modestly after the wedding, and do not dance in restaurants. Moreover, at a modest marriage feast there should not be any indecency and intemperance.

For many couples, it is even more important than painting. This is church sacrament contains a lot of symbolism, and quite naturally, the bride and groom may have questions: why do we need church candles? why do they keep crowns over their heads? why take the handbrake? Today we will try to cover these topics.

wedding candles

During the wedding, the bride and groom hold lighted candles in their hands as a symbol of the purest motives for marriage. Usually spouses keep wedding candles at home all their lives.

Wedding rings

Previously, the betrothal (exchange of rings) and the actual wedding were performed separately, but today it is customary to perform the wedding immediately after the betrothal ceremony. Interestingly, in Ancient Russia they were betrothed with rings, because they meant “seal and approval”, there was a time when they were betrothed with crosses.

Today they get engaged with rings. The wedding ring has round shape- a sign of eternity and inseparability of the marital union. Before the betrothal, the rings are kept on the throne in the altar of the temple. Thus, the future husband and wife show that they entrust their fate to God.

Handbrake

After the betrothal, the bride and groom stand on a handbrake or an embroidered towel, as if pledging to always and in everything share the same fate, both sweet and bitter.

crowns

At the most solemn moment of the wedding, crowns are placed on the heads of the bride and groom as a sign of royal power, that is, the newlyweds become ancestors, "princes of the house." No wonder the bride and groom used to be called prince and princess. Crowns are made of metal (in Greece and Rome, crowns could be woven from flowers and plants, and in Russia crowns were made exclusively from silver and gold) and, as a rule, are decorated precious stones. Today, crowns are usually held over the heads of newlyweds by witnesses.

Other symbols

There are two more bright and touching symbolic moments in an Orthodox wedding. Soon after the laying of the crowns, the bride and groom each drink from a cup of red wine three times, promising each other that from now on they will have everything in common: common desires, common joys, common troubles, common work and common peace.

Then the priest joins the hands of the newlyweds and circles them three times around the center of the temple, where the lectern with the icon stands, as a sign that they will not violate these vows and will not dissolve the marriage. After all, it is not for nothing that they say that marriages are made in heaven ...

One of the seven Sacraments of the Orthodox Church is the Wedding, in which a blessing is given for marriage and the birth of children. And those entering into marriage make a promise before God in front of witnesses to observe marital fidelity, to be together in joy and in sorrow.

sacrament of wedding

In this Sacrament, people not only make a promise and are responsible before God, but also receive grace-filled help for the rest of their married life.

Wedding in the church is permissible after registration of marriage in the registry office

The rite itself takes not so long time and consists of the following points:

• before the wedding, the betrothal takes place, during which the bride and groom exchange rings, in the old days some time passed between the betrothal and marriage, now all this is done at once;
• after the betrothal has passed, the bride and groom with lit candles approach the lectern, on which lie the cross and the Gospel;
• the priest reads prayers, pronounces the great litany, then, having blessed, puts crowns on the heads of the bride and groom;
• the corresponding places from the Apostle and the Gospel are read, the priest again prays (reads the litany), reads "Our Father"
• the spouses are given from one bowl to drink wine diluted with warm water;
• the priest leads the bride and groom three times around the lectern to the singing of the choir "Isaiah rejoice" and so on.

After that, the crowns are removed, and the priest reads the closing prayers. Now married people are full-fledged husband and wife.

What do crowns mean

Marriage crowns worn at the wedding on the heads of the bride and groom have a deeply symbolic meaning:

Wedding crowns were not immediately accepted in the Church. In the first centuries of the existence of Christianity, members of the Christian community who entered into marriage communed together from the same cup on this day. However, for marriage ceremonies, wreaths have been used since ancient times and in almost all cultures. Therefore, it was considered an extra rite, which has much in common with paganism. But since the 4th century, when Christianity actually received the status of the state religion, the crowns have become an indispensable attribute wedding ceremony.

Interesting fact! The form of this marriage property in Russia changed over time: in the 16th century. these were ordinary hoops, like diadems, made of iron, silver, and even popular print. Since the 17th century they began to use crowns similar to the crowns of Western European monarchs, but a little later they acquired the form that they have now.

Currently, the wedding headdress is a hoop-crown made of metal, crowned with a cross, four icons on the sides, in the forehead of the groom, this is the image of Jesus Christ, the bride of the Mother of God.

According to the rules of the Church, the crowns are exactly worn on the heads of the bride and groom, but it is allowed that they can be kept during the entire ceremony, following the spouses. Who can wear crowns at a wedding? This honor is awarded to witnesses or, as they were called before, the bride and groom's friends.

The sacrament of the wedding can be called the most reverent and exciting moment in the life of the newlyweds. But at the same time, it is an incredibly responsible step that requires careful step-by-step preparation.

Choose date and temple

Preparing for the wedding Orthodox Church should begin with the choice of the temple. A few weeks before the desired day, you must finally decide on the place. Each church has its own rules. Therefore, such moments as the arrangement of guests, the duration of the wedding, the presence of a choir can vary significantly. Please note that the possibility of photography is also agreed in advance, and the cost of the wedding may be different in each temple.

Newlyweds are encouraged to set a wedding date as early as possible. Take this seriously, because church rules not all calendar dates can hold a ceremony. Restrictions apply to the following days: Shrovetide and Easter weeks, Thursday, Tuesday and Saturday, during the fasting period, as well as certain church holidays. You can see a list of all dates in church calendar Or check with the church itself. The wedding day must be agreed in advance with the priest.

Also take note that the wedding ceremony does not have to take place right after the wedding in the registry office. There are no time limits here, so the newlyweds can get married even 5 years after the official marriage.

Dealing with a priest

You may not be limited to the choice of priests offered by the temple in which you decide to hold the ceremony. Newlyweds are allowed to use the services of their own priest. The main thing is that the rite is performed by a clergyman without a monastic vow.

In order for the preparation for the wedding to be successful, discuss with the priest in advance all the questions of interest regarding the ceremony. You may need to read special prayers before the ceremony, attend a service, or take communion.

We buy the necessary things

While preparing for the wedding, the newlyweds should acquire a set of things that will be needed during the ceremony:

1. Wedding candles.
2. Icon of the Savior
3. Icon of the Mother of God.
4. Four white, preferably cotton handkerchiefs for candles (possible with embroidery).
5. Two clean white towels, on which, according to the rules, the newlyweds must stand.

You can purchase each item separately, or buy the entire set in advance at the church shop.

Appearance and outfits of the newlyweds

Unlike a wedding banquet, where the newlyweds can choose stylized outfits and show their imagination, for the wedding ceremony there are certain rules regarding appearance couples. Originally ancient traditions have been preserved here: the groom dressed in a classic dark suit and the future wife in a snow-white dress.

The future wife should not be in the temple with bare shoulders, neckline and uncovered head. The abundance of jewelry is also considered inappropriate. To cover your head, you can wear a veil or a scarf. If your dress is too revealing not to change once again, you can simply prepare a cape for the ceremony. Makeup should be natural and discreet. Refrain from high heels. Better pick up comfortable shoes because the wedding can last several hours. And don't forget your wedding rings, be sure to bring them with you.

1. To go through the wedding ceremony, the newlyweds and witnesses must be baptized.
2. Many priests recommend that the preparation for the wedding be accompanied by the confession of the newlyweds and morning communion. If you decide to adhere to these rituals, then refrain from using alcoholic beverages and cigarettes the day before the ceremony.
3. Wedding rings should be illuminated on the Throne, so you should give them to the priest in advance.
4. During the ceremony, the crowns can either be put on the heads of the newlyweds, or it is possible that witnesses hold them over the future spouses. Try to find out from the priest in advance how this tradition is observed in the church. If the crowns need to be placed on the head, the bride should take care that the hairstyle does not deteriorate because of this. It is recommended to wear cotton white handkerchief so that the crown does not cling to the hair and does not fall off the head.
5. If you plan to arrange photography in the temple, this point must be clarified in advance. Perhaps photography is not allowed in all places, or even prohibited. Given that the lighting in the temple is quite specific, the photographer must visit the chosen place in advance.
6. Young and witnesses must wear pectoral crosses. It is recommended that all invitees also adhere to this tradition, but it is not mandatory for them.

For the ceremony to be successful, you should not only carry out the main stages of preparation for the ceremony, but also familiarize yourself with the wedding rules that the newlyweds will need during the event itself.