How to cause confidence in yourself? How to learn to call trust.

Instruction

Explore man And his habit. Most people are inclined to trust those who look like them. Start finding similar interests. If you can, examine as much as possible in the area of \u200b\u200binterest. man. Related soul will rather trust secrets and secrets, will be allowed in the depths of their soul. Therefore, if there are no common interests - form them. This is exactly what students are admissions in school and career student students at the university. Yes, they are interested in the subject and know how to say about their interest to the teacher. They have something to learn. So you learn to unobtrusively demonstrate your sympathy for the views of the interlocutor. In addition, try to symotize the personal features of the interlocutor, because not only interests are important, but also your essence. A timid person will rather trust a robust, decisive - the same decisive.

Think about your motives. Trying to enter trust can be solely in cases where you want a man of good. It is impossible to use such methods to make a person hurt or use it - and do not pay their time and attention for the services rendered. The fact is that it is betrayal people who are less prone to forgive. And for the betrayal, very rigidly and cruelly revenge. So think about why you confidence.

Sources:

• Work on bugs, or how to win a guy trust

Enter confidence in your companion quite simply, if in the process of the conversation it turns out that you have common interests with him. You just start to communicate with a person on your common favorite themes, liberate and talking further as old families or even friends.

Instruction

This method is in service with experienced manipulators who are trying to start a conversation in for the "victim" of the channel. If we consider this reception in a pair "and a woman", then you need to be careful. Dear, if you say-to-thebed, that you are also crazy about football, hockey, Cascader tricks and Metallica groups, then you may not believe.

The fact is that women's and men's tastes differ. Women love watch movies, talk shows and listen to easy music. And prefer militants, sports, as well as more hard music. Of course, this rule has an exception, but this is another question.

Suppose your interlocutor is fond of Tolkien's books. He has already managed to read all his works and view all the adaptation. Knowing it, you can set up with a person without much effort. Apply Casual, as if between the case that you the other day they read the last work of the author from the "Lord of the Rings" series and you really liked it. Of course, if you are not a true fan of Tolkien, then prepare for the cumier conversation in advance: read several books and look at at least one decree. Otherwise, you can get to come.

Who is a person who causes confidence? It seems that there can be no one to be a single definition, even the very concept is blurry. But here, for example, come to the supermarket and ask the meat department: "Girl, what a fresher here?" She answers you indifferent: "Everything is the same, fresh." And after the other person comes after you, asks the same question and receives the answer: "Everything is the same, but, you know, I would advise you to take it." Or, let's say, you forgot to pass on the passage, and they do not want to let you, although you already work there for 5 years already. And the other person who just like you, will say: "Guys, forgot, damn!", Let go. Examples can be given to infinity. The bottom line is that there are people for some reason causing most trust. They do not do anything special, they do not have any high ties or super-appearance. But they have to themselves, and that's it. Let's look at some signs that such people possess, and ways, how these signs can be taken over, at least partially.

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Calm, only calm!

A man causing confidence is calm and confident. He radiates simplicity, openness, it can be something domestic, property. Many people believe that if you want to quickly solve the problem or valuable advice, you need to show how this problem is important for you, as you are concerned about how you worry. In extreme situations or in business it may be, and so. But in household moments, the excess nervousness often plays against us. People want to get rid of other people's problems as soon as possible, want to answer you something so that you are as soon as you leave. The stronger you are nervous, topics with a smaller hunting will help you. Calm down. Do not make problems with your little difficulty. Imagine that you do not appeal to someone else's person, but to a neighbor in the site, which you know a hundred years. There is a thin face: calm is not a pofigism, but not a snob's look down. This is the lack of nervousness, plus some proportion of relaxation. Such a mood is always locating. Even if you are in a hurry, do not make nervous, gusty movements. Do not rub the phone, clothing, bag, do not express signs of impatience. Do not speak signboard, patter. Do not bite your lips, do not play with stuff. Your motto must be "all under control," it should be read on your forehead.

At the very beginning of the conversation, look like a person right in the eye. The view should not be designer or, on the contrary, aggressive. An ordinary neutral view with a share of interest. Best of all this result is achieved if you try to determine the color of the human eye.

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Suppose your interlocutor has blue eyes. Now determine the more accurate shade, while continuing to communicate. During the dialogue, do not assign the eye for a long time, but also do not "give" a constant close study. The worst option is a running glance, it creates a feeling of nervousness and / or an inattentive listener.

Appearance

A person who caresses confidence may be dressed in fashionable, trend, very expensive things. And maybe in jeans, slam and a simple white T-shirt. Main chip - tidy. Clean hair, nails, clothes. A nice or neutral smell: a washed body, no fume or tobacco breathing, if perfume, then not too strong. In a word, no apparent sludge. To be near you should be either nice, or in any way, that is, without bright advantages or minuses.

Pose

Do not narrow. We recently about how much can say about man posture. Communicating, stand straight. Not at the Rack "Smirno", just exactly, naturally. This significantly increases the level of confidence. The second point - do not seek to take as little space as possible, do not close. Calm and confident man stands (or sits) as it is convenient for him, in the usual pose. Do not touch the hands of the face too often, do not climb your fingers, do not hide your hands in your pockets, try to keep them in sight.

Speak when it is necessary

Excess chatter and redundant information do not contribute to the emergence of trust in an unfamiliar person. Speak essentially. Better ask questions: let the interlocutor say more, and you listen carefully to the answers. If you offer something, do it specifically and confident. "Maybe ... maybe we could somehow agree if you work out?" - This is a bad option. "Let's agree" - much better. If you can find out the name of the person (for example, from Badzha), be sure to use it in key moments. "Ivan Petrovich, let's negotiate" - a great option.

Be friendly

From you should not be cautious, hidden or obvious threat. We used to treat someone else's suspicion to be alert, wait for a trick. But people and people relate to us, respectively. If you want to call trust, you need to start with trust treat another person. It is not necessary to smile in the whole mouth, although a sincere friendly smile has never harmed anyone. Just remove the "taken" and contact openly, without preventive complaints and hitting. Then the harsh cashier in the window is very likely to be attributed to you humanly and with a greater hunting will try to help.

There is no terrible and terrible NLP or adjustment. Just an unbiased, neutral-positive attitude towards the interlocutor, even random. Just respect for others, which can generate response to you.

Picture-inspirer.

Ten actions causing confidence

We become reliable
- Consider a good reputation with your actions
- Summary respect

Trust cannot be bought, you can only deserve it. It suggests that others consider you honest, reliable and worthy of respect.

In this article you can familiarize yourself with the description of the ten actions that should be applied in practice to cause confidence. So, how to trust?

Bring started to the end

Now many employees lack the skills to systematically work and completed the work begun. People want to count on you and know that you really do what you promise. If you say you take care of some kind of business, then do it! If you promise someone to clarify some question and come with the answer, fulfill your promise!

More importantly - you must bring it timely time to the end. Tell me when you are going to perform what they agreed, and do it to a certain time.

Forgetfulness and disorganization do not justify what you can't bring started to logically. On the contrary, they are manifestations of unreliability - it means that you cannot rely on your word. Therefore, the fulfillment of all the obligations that you have taken over in front of other people is very important. The constancy of actions confirming his words causes confidence in person.

Answer phone calls

Respond to phone calls and emails. When people call you to work and leave a message so that you call them back, even if you do not know them, you still have a courtesy and fulfill their request for a reasonable time interval. If the caller has to wait for two weeks and make another three attempts to contact you during this time, such a period of time cannot be considered reasonable.

Entries on the answering machine are useful modern technology and a convenient way to transfer and receive messages. But if your silent answer will be silent, you will undermine the trust that others rendered to you. They can calculate you with an irresponsible person. Even if you call back, you can say that you still specify the question of at least this person will know that some actions are still being taken. People cannot guess what you have on your mind, so if you do not call back, they may think that they were ignored. On the other hand, the willingness to answer calls you confidence.

Show passionateness

You do not need to be excessively expressive to show enthusiasm to your work and in communication. Applying your own style to perform tasks, allow your passion to capture you a little. Show interest and enthusiasm to what you do or say, give emotionality to your messages.

If you speak not emotionally, you will seem boring and indifferent, will not attract the proper attention of recipients and do not make them listen to you. But if it's too rapidly to show your emotions, you can also knock off the people with any hunt to listen to what you want to say.

Demonstrate competence

Be competent. Know the item with which you have to deal, and share your knowledge with others. If you do not provide people with your information you have, you do not deserve the place that is now occupying. You pay for you to perform your work. When others come to you for certain assistance or service, they need to receive your special knowledge during the interaction.

Do not agree just like this, but do not be incomplete

You have the right to your own point of view, which may differ from the other person's opinion. But when you say: "I do not agree with you," your disagreement is aimed at a person, not his thoughts.

Instead, express your disagreement with ideas and glances and exactly on this focus when you speak. Concentrate attention is not on what you disagree, but at different points of view, which you and your interlocutor are talking about. This contributes to productive discussion of issues, and not disputes or pulling the rope with the transition to the individual.
Do not try to treat various opinions only as the right or wrong. They represent only different views of people on the same things.

Keep calm under pressure

Stress is an integral part of any work. At the end of the description of each job should be approximately the following remark: "The ability to cope with stress without excessive tension".

When you retain relative calm, being under the influence of daily stress, then you improve your ability to effectively listen and constructively talk. Conversely, showing tension, you are sometimes annoyed and frustrating others.
People need to know that you can contact in any situation that you are able to listen to messages about the events and help them cope with all the difficulties. You can give your feelings alone with you, but when people surround you, be prepared to engage in activities. By doing so, you will cause great respect to yourself.

Avoid a positive approach to problems

Problems arise at each job. And if you do not try to overcome them, they will not disappear by themselves. If you begin to complain about the problems to other people, it will become for the moral spirit of their colleagues. I wonderfully attack others and accusing them in the emergence of problems, in response, you will call defensive reactions, which often leads to the reluctance of employees to show the initiative in the future, because if some difficulty arises, no one wants to accuse him.

Do not seek to avoid resolving the issue, just get more about the situation. Let us understand people that no one will task the NM whirl in the event of some kind of problem. After that, discuss the possible ways to overcome it and do not stop until we decide. This is a tested, the best, most positive approach to resolving problems. And when you positively overcome the complexity, you can boast honorable confidence.

First listen, then say

If you will express your criticism, your opinion, hastily draw conclusions before you find out about all the facts, you cannot count on confidence from other people. Similar your actions are convinced only in one thing: listen and think rationally - not your style.

People want them to be heard. They do not like when they are interrupted and indicated that they should do. Sometimes more than useful to show a little patience. If you are first
Aware that another person wants to say, then better understand what steps most appropriate to take. Then you can act prudently and with knowledge of the case, which is much better than to get out of yourself and exacerbate the already difficult situation. And reaching mutual understanding, you can come to the idea that the situation is already allowed and you can move on.

Show sincerity

Nothing does not undermine confidence as insincerity. Highly, authority and dishonesty lead to the fact that people begin to see the worst in your actions and stop believing your words.

Sincerity is a person's ability to be truthful and honest. She testifies to what you say what you think, and you mean exactly what you say, showing respect for the interlocutor. If you are sincere, your intentions are manifested in a tone of the voice during a conversation, and when you listen, you show your sincerity that you are not indifferent to what another person talks about. Everyone can be sincerity, but making it constantly, you deserve trust.

Speak right

Often, especially in problem situations, people deliberately decide not to talk to others directly, but trying to soften their messages, and at the same time they look very fake.
Speak directly - means to express your thoughts frankly, clearly and understandable. But the straight is not equal to the sharpness: in the first case you are aiming to talk in the case, and in the second - break the interlocutor in the fluff and dust, inflicting his personal resentment and insults. In the example below, you can see the difference between them.
Direct: "The numbers presented on page 4 of your report are incorrectly summarized."
Rude: "All numbers in this report are confused - it is immediately clear that you do not know how to use the data at all."

Directness means transfer of considerations to the best possible way. If you say directly, then we show respect, your utterances are understandable and focused on the question, and your interlocutor does not have to read between the rows and worry.
All people value such qualities in communicating as clarity, respect and frankness. If you constantly hold these principles in your actions, then definitely deserve the confidence of the interlocutors.

Copyright © 2013 Banxine Alexey

Each person has its own system of worldview, behavior and perception of the surrounding reality. Each person has its own individual style of behavior, facial expressions, gestures, body postures, etc. Knowing and realizing these individuality of the interlocutor, you can enter it in trust. Using the technique of hidden manipulation during communication with the interlocutor, the "adjustment" method is used. People converge with other people, guided by the principle of "common". People love themselves like, and "strangers" reject. We will be uninteresting the interlocutor, with whom we have nothing in common.

The "adjustment" method is aimed at achieving a subconscious confidence at the interlocutor. The technology of building a subconscious confidence includes the following 5 main ways:

1. Adjustment to position.

2. Adjusting gestures.

3. Adjust to breathing.

4. Adjustment under speech.

5. Psychological adjustment.

Instructions:

1. Adjustment to Pose

Copy the post of your interlocutor. It is necessary to do it naturally and easily. The interlocutor should not have the impression that the positions of his body deliberately copy.

"Goal" can change the position of the body several times during the conversation. Copy all changes that occur in the body position. Follow the interlocutor with a small lag. To the adjustment to the posture to be less noticeable, adjustably gradually: first the same slope of the case, then head, hands, etc.

2. Adjusting gestures

Gestles are a signal of psychological changes in the interlocutor. By producing an adjustment of the interlocutor gestures, you will achieve a deeper level of confidence from its unconscious.

You do not need to accurately copy gestures. It is necessary to reproduce their overall direction. Those. If the interlocutor brought his hand to his forehead, raise the hand and remove the imaginary impact. If the interlocutor removed and wipes glasses, make manipulations with their handle, etc.

3. Adjusting to breathing

It is difficult to master the reception.

The adjustment to breathing is based on the same depth and intensity, as well as from the interlocutor.

An important feature: it is possible to use cross-adjustment. Those. Inhale-exhalation of the interlocutor reflects not with his breathing, but by the movement of the body, for example, tapping a finger. If it is physiologically difficult to adjust to the respiration frequency of the interlocutor, use the method of multiple cycles - it is not synchronously breathing, but passing cycles, for example, to exhale for each second exhalation of the interlocutor.

4. Adjustment

The theater reception "Echo" is to repetition words and revolutions used by the interlocutor. Talk "in his language." Notice when they speak your language with you - this person wants to enter your trust, it is possible to build a good constructive communication and a dialogue. Stick up the jargones that a person characterizes the elements of his life, and then insert them into a conversation.

5. Psychological adjustment

- Adjustment under emotions. Before starting the impact, bring yourself to the same emotional state as a source.

- Adjustment. Avoid any appraisal statements. An estimated statement activates the value structure of the interlocutor.

- Adjustable system. Each person more degrees information with one of the channels: visual, auditory or kinesthetic. Your tactics of impact on a person depends on the dominant system of perception.

Dominance of the visual canal - Live view: The eyes are in constant movement, the speech is fast, the expressions are constantly slipping in a conversation: "I see it so ...", "I saw it in it ...", "I look at these things ...", gesturing in the top of the body. In the course of communication with the "visual" should not tell him "listen to me", and you must say "see". It should be relying on figurative comparisons, talk about "bright prospects", to support his expectation of a "brilliant future".

Dominance Channel - Very nice, modulated voice with complex and varied intonations. In speech, expressions are often found: "I hear ...", "These are the sounds of my soul ...", "Melody of life ...", "But I heard ...", "on a hearing ..." in communication with the "audio" maximum attention to the initialations Speech is an increase or decrease in tone, changing the timbre, increasing volume, transition to a whisper. This will be the main tool of influence.

Dominance of the kinesthetic canal - A person operates with such concepts as feelings: "I feel so ...", "I felt it ...", "Oh, what sensations ...", "I seized this feeling ..." When communicating with the "Kinesthetic", make more descriptions of possible sensations that may arise from the source during the interaction. For example, you can more often utter phrases "You may feel that ...", "sense of solid confidence." He needs to say "you feel", "feel" and so on.

- OK. When a partner does something or says, he always awaits evaluating his actions at the subconscious level. This is a very deep psychological mechanism that is associated with the fact that any of our deed will automatically be assessed by society. Using approval, you can push the conservation of the interlocutor towards the formation of its confidence in you.

By entry into confidence, it is necessary to consider the following.

Naturally, your desire to use all the ways at once. But this will lead to the fact that his brain "goals" will be overloaded with information. Instead of watching the thread of the conversation, he will load the brain with such things as the need to prevent evaluation statements, etc. During the conversation, it is necessary to talk, and not think about the individual components of how to trust. Train contact "Contact" sequentially. In order not to look ridiculously and suspiciously, it is necessary to act very thin and carefully. Frankly imitating, you can offend a person.

Professor of Psychology Jack Shafer for many years worked as a special Agent of the FBI and trained other agents to technicians of influence and beliefs, which are sometimes unthinkable without personal charm. According to him, there is a golden rule, using whom you can arrange any person to yourself. And it sounds like this: "Cut the interlocutor to please yourself."

How to achieve this? We give 6 excellent advice to Jack Schafer, which he repeatedly tried in work and in life.

1. Make a mistake

When Jack Schaufer begins to lead a lecture course from a new stream, he, as if by chance, makes a mistake in the pronunciation of some word and allows students to correct themselves. "I pretend to be confused, thank them for attentiveness and correct the mistake," says Jack.

It uses this reception to reach 3 goals. First, when students correct the teacher's mistake, it allows them to feel more confident. Secondly, they begin to communicate more freely with a mentor. Thirdly, they allow themselves to be wrong.

This technique can be used to arrange any person. Seach, show your imperfection, let people fix themselves. And they will be located to you.

2. Talk to people about themselves

We are too busy and very little interested in people who we meet. But, in order to enjoy people, you must sincerely be interested in.

"You will head more friends in two months if you will show genuine interest in people than in two years attempts to interest them with them." (Dale Carnegie)

"When people talk about themselves, no matter - in a personal conversation or in social networks, the same pleasure centers are involved in the brain, as from delicious food or money." (Robert Lee Holz)

These two quotes show how important it is to talk to people about their affairs to win their location. Integet to their family, biography, children, their opinion on that and other things, and gratitude, sometimes unconscious, you are provided.

3. Make a compliment from a third party

Sometimes direct compliments sound too intrusive. Many people are not ready to accept them or have discomfort. In such cases, it is better to use a compliment from a third party.

For example, you want to ask an accountant Anna Ivanovna about some kind of favor and screw such a phrase: "Anna Ivanovna, by the way, the head of the personnel department said that you are the most conscientious worker of our company."

Of course, it is not necessary to praise some professional qualities, you can and personal. For example, as follows: "Anna Ivanovna, the head of the personnel department still remembers your pies with onions that you brought for a birthday."

4. Do not forget to sympathize

Every person is nice to know that he is closely listening and sharing his emotions with him. Of course, if a person begins to talk about that he had a hard day, you should not moan: "What a horror, ah you, a badger!" Especially if this is your boss.

It is quite suitable for the usual statement of the type: "Yes, you had a difficult day today. It happens to everyone!" If a person tells that he managed to cope with a difficult matter, it is possible to summarize this: "It seems that today you are doing perfectly. It's great!"

We must convince the interlocutor that we share it feelings and understand it. At the same time, if you are trying to support a person, you do not need to accurately reproduce his words. The interlocutor can be alerted: he will perceive the repetition as something unnatural.

5. Ask for facilities

Famous words of Benjamin Franklin: "The one who once made you good, willingly help you again than who you helped themselves." This phenomenon is known as the effect of Benjamin Franklin. A person who has a courtesy to another person grows in his own eyes. That is, if you want to please man, it is better not to make a favor to him, but ask for a favor of his own. Of course, you should not abuse request for help.

As the same Franklin noticed witty: "Guests like a fish, begins to smell on the third day." The same can be said about people who are too often asked about the discharges.

6. Do so that the person praises himself

There is a very thin face between the usual compliment and flattery, so it is better to make the interlocutor to praise himself. For example, someone tells you this story: "In order to close this project, I worked the day and night." Here you can say: "Yes, it needs an iron will." Almost guaranteed the interlocutor will reply something like: "Yes, I had to try to pass the project on time. Of course, I worked fine. You can not say anything. "

The ability to make a person to praise himself, is the highest pilot. Practice it, make people nice. And you definitely like.

All these tips are definitely not a call for hypocrisy. We just want to help you do pleasant to other people and live with everyone in the world.