How to stop being a shy person. How not to be shy

Sudden embarrassment, the relaxancy sometimes bother to us to live, act when it is necessary. If such manifestations are rare, then there is nothing terrible in this. This is just one of human emotions.

And if the constant feeling of embarrassment becomes a feature of character, does not move forward - its influence on your life is definitely reduced. The shy man understands that it is necessary to change, just like ... How to stop shy and start life?

An embarrassment is not always manifested, only in certain situations, in society. Maybe in any, and maybe among specific personalities. How to stop shy people? Psychologists advise the first thing to get to the truth: why are these acquaintances of you so embarrass? Maybe you heard from parents or peers at school that such people should be avoided, they are not from your circle, and therefore you have formed a definite reaction. And maybe it was just that you got it from one of the parents.

How to stop shy if your case is similar to the first? Under such reasons, it is possible to minimize the manifestation of shyness. It is worth only to realize that the opinion is mistaken to you. But it is not so easy to do. Look for yourself in your own principles, values, rejected the strangers, so preventing you live. In addition, if embarrassment occurs in the presence of any person, in the group of people - here the reason, most likely lies in a lack of social experience (it means you need to gain it!), Either in a low self-esteem. Learn to believe in yourself, stop climbing to yourself, and finally, tie your self-esteem to other vital events. Do not make it dependent on someone else's opinion, because everyone likes to like it!

How to stop shy if you have it in the blood? It is more difficult here. You can rather learn not to show it around others, than to eradicate an important feature of your personality. Yes, it is important, as she to make you himself. And there is a charm in it, not in vain. After all, the girls love shy guys ... Take an example with self-confident people, for which you definitely do not tell you that it may be characterized by impactivity. If there are no embarrass on their faces, it does not mean that they do not feel this feeling. Immunity does not apply to the basic, the main emotions of the person who can be seen immediately on the face of everyone. Her (unlike basic) can be hidden. Warn what such is in the behavior of a confident person, what does it convince others in his inner force? Surely there are similar people in your environment. Watch them and give yourself an answer to this question. Maybe it's in posture, in pose, in the view? Practice to portray (in what it would not be expressed) in front of the mirror. Yes, you will not turn first. But you train. First with yourself, then with people. Sooner or later this skill will turn into a habit.

Feel embarrassment, also shy to those who are typical of growing people, especially adolescents and young people who have entered into that period when it is time to get acquainted with the girls, to prove to friends that you are not missing. And then suddenly as inappropriate! How to stop shy girls? Again with experience: Learn to start a conversation, do not pay attention to rudeness, do not copy the offense and try again. Over time, the positive experience of communication has accumulated more. And then it will come confidence, and embarrassment will disappear.

All of the specified ways are a difficult path that will have to go on their own, never turning out of it, without lowering the arms. Only then the effect of working on itself will consolidate and give the necessary result. If you are hard to cope with this alone, contact a psychologist. There is nothing reprehensible in this, on the contrary. He will help you understand the true causes of shy, learn how to live, not embarrassed. Especially if this emotion is pretty rapidly (blushing the face, the sweat is shy, shake hands).

So, the main psychological tips on the problem, how to stop shy, given. Move in the right direction and everything will have everything!

Shyness is a sense of discomfort in a social environment, which prevents us from achieving personal and social goals. You're shy? Do you have a heart shudder from the very thought of talking to a stranger? This is a common thing, since shyness is a very common problem. As in the case of any unwanted feature, the correct approach allows you to cope with shyness.

Steps

Part 1

Determine the essence and cause of the desired change. Are you worried about the lack of communication skills? You are not able to keep superficial conversations, to show feelings, in your speech there are often awkward pauses or other practical problems? Perhaps you were able to cope with communication skills, but want to forget about the constant feeling of awkwardness and doubts.

• Think about how much you want to change. Not everyone is given to become a socially active or sociable person. No need to waste forces on comparison with others. You do not need to consider that you should be like the rest. Such a negative reinforcement will only adopt you in the thought that you are alone, not like all or even worse than the rest.

1. Change your image of thoughts. People who experience awkwardness in social situations are often visited by the most negative thoughts. "I look stupid," no one says with me "or" I will look like an idiot "- all these thoughts can rotate along a closed circle. As you yourself understand, such thoughts are negative and only strengthen your shyness and feeling of awkwardness.

   Direct attention to the outside, not inside. This is one of the most important aspects of shyness and social anxiety. Most timid people do it unintentionally, but often begin to attract attention during a conversation. As a result, a person is absorbed by himself and again begins a closed circle of thoughts. Researchers concluded that this fact may be the main cause of panic attacks after moderate anxiety.

   Watch how people confident are building secular relationships. Imitation is one of the highest manifestations. Of course, you do not need to repeat everything to the last little things, but watch out for sociable people to get useful ideas for different situations.

   Contact your specialist if you cannot cope with the problem. In some situations, excessive shyness is a sign of social alarming disorder. A person with a similar problem is so afraid of critics and condemnations from others that he has no friends or a romantic partner.

   • A specialist will be able to diagnose social alarming disorder, will help you develop a more robust image of thoughts and gain confidence so that you stop avoiding people.

   Part 2

   How to communicate with unfamiliar people

   1. Had to meet. Would you come to a person with a sour mine on the face or with the head down? Hardly. Our body language helps others build assumptions even before talking about the conversation. Stop looking at your shoes, smile slightly and maintain visual contact.

      Show yourself. The best way to get acquainted with new people is to actively attend places in which you can meet with them. Go to the autumn day of dancing at school or visit New Year's corporate. Try to get acquainted at least with one new person until the end of the evening. Visit the meeting of the poetic club and read the poems that you wrote in student years.

      Train communities. It may seem strange, but become in front of the mirror or just close your eyes. Imagine what you are talking to another person. The feeling of preparedness to a conversation in an unfamiliar situation will help reduce anxiety. Imagine your conversations are dialogs from movies. Imagine yourself by a company person who finds a common language with others. Then go from rehearsal to business.

      Demonstrate your talents. If you emphasize your advantages, then you will not only strengthen self-confidence next to other people, but you will also seem more attractive or interesting interlocutor. For example, if you like painting, then try to draw the scenery for the play. It's easier for a person to show his best qualities if he does not have discomfort. Strive to find a common language with people who share your hobbies and enthusiasm. Just do your favorite thing and get pleasure from it to find new friends.

   2. Make sincere compliments. No need extraordinary. Sometimes the most exciting conversations begin with the phrase: "I like your shirt. You can ask, is it from the store (name)?" Compliments The most naturally form a pleasant impression of you, because your words raised a man's mood. What is even better, you will be guaranteed to smile, because compliments made by other people will give pleasant sensations and you too.

      • If you are familiar with a person, then call it by name when you make a compliment. Speak specifically. Instead of words: "I look great," it's better to say: "I like your new hairstyle. The shade is perfect for the skin tone."
      • Strive to make 3-5 compliments per day to different people who are found on the street and during everyday activity. Try not to make a compliment to the same person twice. Look, how many conversations you will get tied, and how many times after talking you will feel better than the acquaintance.
   3. Some people are uncomfortable to visit different places alone. Try to go to the movies alone. Is it possible to shove in the dark? Other people in line will see that you are quite confident to go to the movie without a company. Imitate confidence until you feel that it has become real!
   4. If you need help, then speak about it. If you are silent, the alarm is accumulated, and the problem remains unresolved.
   5. Talk with random people, even if you are not familiar. Be polite and soon you will have a reputation of a very sociable person!
   6. Get out sports. This is a great way to get acquainted with new people, reset the shell of shyness and show your advantages.
   7. You are always nice to communicate with friends and other people, but sometimes it's quite good just to sit and listen. This is the only advantage of shyness. You are able to listen and sort out what is happening.
   8. Watch out for your facial expressions. No need to frown and wrinkle.

   Warnings

   • The desire to overcome shyness is a grand task. Do not expect the situation to change in one day. All arranged a little differently. Best patience and remember: "Moscow was not immediately built."
   • Stay yourself and do not let others humiliate you.

You can't ask the way with an unfamiliar person? Are you afraid to go shopping and interviews? You feel uncomfortable in an unfamiliar company and at parties? Congratulations, you have one of the most common problems of humanity, whose name is shy.

Immunity - a painful problem for many people, preventing starting acquaintances, to build a career, start living in real. Psychologists claim that there are no shye shye people - just alone suppress it in themselves, others live with her most of their life, until finally decide to break with it completely and irrevocably. I want .Ua will help you deal with an unbearable problem, because of which your life flies to hell!

Analysis. The first thing you need to do is to analyze the condition of your constriction - what exactly does it lead to a stupor and what are you shy more than anything? Some people shy their appearance, inability to communicate with people and it is interesting to say, seem stupid, scattered or clumsy. In order not to cause you constraint - all this is only in your head. As soon as you find out the reason for the constraint, immediately proceed to the fight against it. You feel ugly and Tolstoy, take an appearance, shy to seem stupid - understand that stupidity can play in your favor and make you a cute, you can not know how beautiful and competently express your thoughts - train in front of the mirror or visiting special courses on eloquence. In general, there are no ideal people - all in one way or another are imperfect and suffer from certain complexes. Only here, someone belongs to these complexes simply, and someone rushes, which is poured into the constraint.

Trainings.There are special trainings for people, the so-called "clubs for anonymous stainlessness," where people who want to get rid of the problem are going. These trainings teach the basics of communication, create atypical situations and are issued in a big world. If you do not have the opportunity to attend similar trainings, you can help yourself yourself. In more often, attend stores without self-service, ask questions to sellers consultants, ask strangers the road. You can kick the wedge-wedge - hesitate to communicate with people, go to work, where only you need to communicate (seller, consultant, customer service manager, promoter, etc.). Yes, it will be very hard, but you will disappear and in any unfamiliar company after such a school of life, you will stop feeling uncomfortable.

Self-pressure. A good psychological taking on the way of eradicating shy is the installation. Every day I repeat about myself that you are confident, a beautiful, charming woman who is not afraid of anything and to roll the mountain. The self-suggestion really works, because words have a certain impact on a person, possess positive and strong energy that allows you to believe in what has been said. Your subconscious, hearing flattering and confident speeches to herself, will work exclusively on you and will not let your hostess in the most responsible moment. By the way, the red underwear, bowed to the clothes, also has a certain suggestion and gives confidence.

Do not compare. Never compare yourself with other people, because everyone has their own problems, advantages and disadvantages. Suppose you compare yourself with your long-standing familiar, who has life to go much better than yours - good work, crowds of fans, car, apartment, travel ... But you do not know everything. Maybe she exchanged all his success in a quiet family life with a beloved man and upbringing two children. And never compare yourself with celebrities and their achievements. And of course, remember more often about your achievements (we think you are not enough of them). Let it be a minor victory in your life, but they have to help you become more confident - after all, then you were able to prove to yourself and all that you stand in this life.

Breathing exercises. When a feeling of fear, panic and constraint suddenly smear, start to breathe smoothly and deeply. At home you can practice a more complex gymnastics - close your eyes, completely abstract from reality and start breathing. With each breath, imagine that you are filled with positive energy that gives you strength, with exhalation - skewing, pressure, grieving, awkwardness and insecurity. Try to drive the air through the whole body so that your body has despicable from each cell.

Watch. We have repeatedly repeated the phrase that there are no ideal people, but if you do not believe us, you can watch the behavior of people. While you are going to work, look at people and you will see that many feel awkward, pressure, uncertainty and behave sometimes more stupid you. Seeing that everyone can make mistakes and feel awkwardness, you will finally stop shy and refer to your misses biased.

Irony.It happens that you made some kind of stupid act and here it begins - you begin to shake from shame and uncertainty. But try to turn your missions in a joke, bring up an ironic attitude towards yourself. Open people who know how to laugh at their failures and are caused by surrounding sympathy, respect and desire to communicate. And do not forget about self-esteem - understand that no one has the right to humiliate you, insult or water mud. Do not hesitate to answer such a person and not be afraid of his reaction. Learning to confront people and then they will begin to respect you and stop "macatting in dirt" at each other case.

I have always been shy and when it turned out in the crowd, a feeling of depression and stress appeared. Being in a large company, I felt bad, but when there was one or two people in the company, I felt comfortable. I could overcome my timidity, stopped shy, but after analyzing the last 10 years, it came to the conclusion that I managed much that then changed my life and essence then. How to stop shy in a large company, learn from this article.

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Photo Gallery: How to stop shying in a large company

Today it is possible and not to remember in all details the feeling of timidity and shyness, I stopped being shy and fear of communication for me is not a problem. I do not know exactly when I stopped feeling uncomfortable and timidly. By nature, I am not a sociable person, and I was not sure that I would ever be sociable. Each person has a threshold for any of their personal qualities. But now in any big company I feel comfortable and confident. Overcoming shyness and timidity, I resorted to some tricks, they will share with you.

Turn to consciousness.
All thoughts are material character, build in their consciousness the right faith and beliefs. Repeat "Every day I become more confident", and at every opportunity, on the way to work, to the library, to the store, repeat this phrase. In the mind you can imagine such a situation when you are surrounded by people confidently speaking, then you will feel faith in yourself and joy from it. If it does not help, it is worth contacting hypnosis.

Communication.
Let them in your environment positively configured people, they will provide you with the necessary support. If you communicate with the same shiven people as you, then you will not move forward, so you will only believe in your weakness. You need to be with such friends who will not make fun of you, and criticize, for your desire to overcome yourself. Needing you should be those friends on which you can rely on everything, they will help you move forward so that you have reached some heights. Of course, it will be difficult to find such friends, but if there are such people who will balance between criticism and support, then you need to try more often next to them and boldly go to them.

It should be expanded by the zone of own comfort.
A person does not miss the cones if he won't do anything. If you do nothing, then you will not develop, and you will be lit in place. You do not know how to swim, but start with the fact that wet feet. Initially, it scares, but this moment will come when you need to dial more air and dive into water. The novelty of this action scares, but if you consistently go ahead, it will force us to develop and grow. And in order to stop the shy, you need to go to the people, to join the situation where you will be uncomfortable, here you need to wear yourself. No need to give fear to master your mind and you.

On the example of swimming, let's imagine if you are in the deepest place, for the first time, we will throw off to the water. If you are very shy, then speak immediately with a speech, to enter into a discussion and be in front of a huge crowd of the people, it is ineffective and unrealistic. To begin with, start with five people. If you can overcome shyness in front of five listeners, then you need to go ahead and talk to ten people. Then it will be twenty and gradually increase the audience. There is such an expression as therapy, by "diving", when the patient is provided to fight with fears when he is face to face, with all the fact that it is most afraid of. And this method is effective. If this technique is conducted under the scrutiny of the psychologist, it will have an effective action. Our motto is words - slowly, but right.

Do not take to heart.
Often, timid and sensitive people are very serious about things that occur with them. And if I forget the word, will the voice begged, if I make a job? These questions are twisted in their heads. And if it happens, this is what will kill you? You need to relate to everything calmly and schedule your future actions.

Shyness is a sense of self-esteem.
Probably, it is true that shyness is a sense of self-esteem. The one who said this phrase thought that shy people think only about what they were thinking about and how they look in the eyes of the people around them, they need to focus outside their "shells" and make the situation most valuable for themselves. You can give advice, think more about others than about yourself. In fact, no one is doing to you, and everyone thinks about himself. Do not go deep into yourself. Stop thinking that people will not say, do not think so.

Do not cross the line by analyzing your actions.
If you think that you are shy, you will not overcome your shysteriness. When you have to analyze shysteriness, you will come to this conclusion that everything is meaningless. As soon as you will be in such a situation when you need to be done, but to act, you will be released by hopelessness. All you need to do is practice. Do all that you are afraid and do not think that it is useless.

Love yourself.
Robust people feel uncomfortable and awkward and alone with themselves, and surrounded by people. Go to the movies, bunch, stroll out alone. It is noticed that quite confident people in crowded places feel comfortable and happily, being alone.

read books.
They will help to overcome your shyness. Read how people were able to overcome their timidity, it would inspire you to curb their fears and overcome heights.

In conclusion, you can stop shy in a large company, and it will take time to make a confident person from a shy person, it is fulfilling the task. Sociability and confidence will make life better and more interesting, and several times more fun. Just do not need to postpone everything in a long box.

"Shy people" - This is the problem with which many faces. And although the young generation suffers from it more often, some adults in one way or another it is also peculiar. In this article, I will tell you about how to stop shy people And never to do it anymore, and also to get rid of any other types of shy, if you have any.

First of all, it should be said about why some begin to shy other people. Like any personal psychological problem, the roots of the constraint of people grow out of the experienced episodes of the past.

• First, we all face various unpleasant situations in collaboration with other, which sometimes become pain, fright, tears, embarrassment, shame, resentment, other negative emotions and states. As a result, trying not to face the negative anymore, we begin to avoid some situations and people themselves, and one day it may pour out in a steady personality trait - ensure.
• Secondly, in all our lives, we perceive a huge amount of information, part of which we turn into our opinions, convictions, postulates, install limitations and bans on it. And so, for example, you can get an installation from parents not to communicate with unfamiliar people, since they can be dangerous. Let such an installation have been given a long time in childhood and with good intentions, but, unfortunately, it remains in the head and continues to influence today's communication with strangers, causing fear and impairment. And you can follow someone to begin to consider the impactivity of a "good positive" quality in contrast to the "bad" quality - arrogance. Well, we, of course, are good, not bad, so be silent. :)
• Sometimes we simply involuntarily copy the impairment with someone from the close - we observe and adopt their models of behavior, reaction, emotions. Remember your parents, other relatives, a close circle of communication from childhood - maybe someone from them shy people or shy before?

The reasons for shyness, of course, are also individual from everyone, but somehow everyone is lying in the past, or rather including internal garbagewhich was formed as a result of once experienced - a subconscious memory of the tested negative states and emotions, developed fears, concerns, phobias, limiting beliefs, all sorts of internal prohibitions and other-kind garbage. It is with all this mental garbage that needs to be able to finally stop shying people.

How to get rid of the inner garbage and stop shy people

To "I'm shy of people" It turned out of a problem in an empty sound, you need to close to your past and the analysis of the collapse of all the rubble, which it gave rise to you. And let it be impossible to change its past, but it is possible to completely eliminate its influence - and this will be more than enough for victory over the constraint against people and in general completely over any psychological problem.

Eliminate the influence of the past and cleaned from all inner garbage optimally with subconscious, and that's why:

1. It is there, in the depths of your subconscious, information about each episode of your life has been saved. After all, there are no many in memory, but there is everything in the subconscious!
2. The subconscious is not only a vault of the data about the lived life, but also a very useful tool! With the help of the subconscious, you may not just find any episodes from your past (including even the first days of life), but also by asking a special algorithm, to process them so that you completely disappeared with these episodes of the negative and the entire inner garbage generated by them. At the same time, no episodes to remember you, it is enough just to point out the subconscious.
3. The incredible computing power of the subconscious allows to produce a huge amount of work - you can take out the preventive trash to the garbage with the whole cars, and not throw a piece. So, for example. You can give your subconscious team to work at once all the episodes in which someone hurt you, or all those in which you could not do something because of your constraint of people. The subconsciousness will very clearly find all such episodes and treat them perfectly! And in the background invisible mode, it does not interfere with you to engage in your affairs.

Study of the past - this is not erasing memory. Your memories will remain safe and preservation. Just if you previously remembered some situations with unpleasant emotions or tried not to think about something in the past at all, then after processing, you can scroll through even the most terrible traumatic situations in my head without any negative. Gradually, you all will disappear any desire to dig in your past. Finally, you can live here and now. :)

All you need in order to launch your subconscious to work is to instruct it to treat one or another problem on a special algorithm. The algorithm is contained in the instructions, each of which you only need to read and activate the key phrase. And then return to your business and get results. :)

There are already many such instructions (protocols) aimed at solving a wide variety of problems - all sorts of impairment, all sorts of fears, uncertainty, problems with money, problems in relations and other other. You can also create protocols themselves to solve the narrower problems, if suddenly something will not be among the finished materials.

Unique technique that combines the above-described approach in working on itself and contains ready-made instructions for solving a variety of personal problems - called Turbo Suslik. It is very easy to use and does not take away a lot of time, but requires a serious way to work. Detailed description of this system for working on yourself You will find in the book-manual of Dmitry Lёshkina "Turbo-Suslik. How to stop fucking yourself brain and start living ». On our site you can download this book in PDF format for free:

I emphasize one important point - engaged in working out my past in order to stop shy people, you should not also forget about all other problems. Let even shine at the moment it is the most relevant, you need to work on yourself comprehensively on all problems. Such a need is caused by the interconnectedness of everything in the psyche of a person, in which it will not happen to deal with something one, not engaged in all that is near.

Even if you feel free to communicate, talk to people, something to ask them or talk about something, feel free to look into the eyes, meet, even just to be among people - all this will remain in the past, if you are serious about yourself Work using the turbo-horselick system.

Read that they write those who have already decided a bunch of their problems using the turbo-horselik system, including streking people.