Is it always necessary to tell the truth? What happens if you start telling people the truth.

landscaping 29.09.2019

Quite by chance, I stumbled upon one article on the net. The article has a pretty long shelf life. You can even say that she has a beard, but right now it turned out to be most welcome. I think this is because this theme is eternal - honesty.

Honesty and… personal branding. Previously, branding was mainly corporate. And now personal branding is sometimes much more important than the brand of the company. What is the relationship between personal branding and integrity? Directly. Because when you build your brand, you can't be honest people and find yourself in your own trap. And in order to get out of there, you need to start telling people the truth again. But the truth is that people don't really like honesty. And this applies to both the business world and the personal environment. What happens if you suddenly begin to honestly answer questions and tell how you really are doing?

Which of the friends is better: the one who will tell the truth, because his friend is not indifferent to him, or the one who will keep silent or say that the choice of a life / work / new home / tie is even nothing, just like it? As practice has shown, it is better the one who agrees or makes a helpless gesture. And the one who honestly answers the question, in the end, turns out to be an enemy.

The same goes for work. If you are building your personal brand, then you must be successful: publish beautiful pictures with beautiful and successful (and it is possible with those and those separately) people in beautiful places; give comments in fashion magazines; periodically star in front of cameras and cameras and delight your fans with photos on Instagram and Facebook. And it's not at all interesting for anyone to know, even harmful to know, that you really hate being photographed, that you are already tired of commenting, or that you want to stay as far away as possible from those with whom you constantly flicker in photographs?

But you can't do that, because then you will lose the respect of the public and your customers. You will lose your own brand and, as a result, money. But for a long time it is also difficult to endure, and sooner or later a person has a nervous breakdown, because he constantly lies to himself and others.

It's like signing a contract with a company - you can't talk bad about it as long as you work with it. But as soon as the contract expires (or you yourself terminate it with all the ensuing consequences), you become free again and can finally express your real feelings for the brand you worked with. But breaking the contract with yourself is much more difficult.

What will happen if you suddenly start telling everyone the truth? And it will be a lot of fun! Trust me, I know what I'm talking about ;)

People will stop talking to you

If you start telling the truth, get ready for some people to stop talking to you. It could be your family members, your friends, your colleagues and your investors. Get ready for the fact that your environment will change dramatically, and this applies to both real people and your "friends" on social networks.

When you tell the truth, it's hard not to offend someone. But it is also known that only those who benefit from it are offended. If a person is honest with himself, it is very difficult to offend him. He can only cause bewilderment by his act.

People may think that you decided to take your own life.

Imagine what will happen if you start writing only the truth to your feed? Most likely, if the day turned out to be difficult, each post will resemble a suicide note or it will clearly read signs of manic depressive psychosis.

People will start to think you're crazy

Reading your notes or communicating personally with you, many will begin to have a completely natural question: “Are you crazy ?!” It is possible that they will start asking this question to your friends or relatives and be interested in your general mental state. Someone can politely recommend a good psychoanalyst.

People will get scared

People will start labeling you. Someone will say that you are just trying to stand out among the crowd and be “different” (city crazy or crazy genius - who will understand?). Someone will call an upstart. Telling the truth is not exactly natural behavior for today's Homo sapiens, and no one likes it when at a corporate meeting someone gets up and starts telling the truth about what's wrong. In general, few people like it when they tell the truth about obviously unsuccessful things.

People will start to find you funny

After people around you get used to your statement, some will even find you funny and people will slowly start to come back to you. They will be wondering what this crazy man will do this time? And, most importantly, they will be sure that what you write or say is 100% true. You will become almost the only source of “uncensored” news for them. You will become something like a series that is hard to tear yourself away from, only cooler.

After the stage of addiction and liking, people will begin to trust you. Because they will know for sure that you will tell them the truth, and not sing beautiful stories in your ear just to sell something. They may not like you, they may even be afraid of you, but they will come for advice anyway. You can become something of a last resort, King Solomon in your settlement.

You will be free

And the last, most pleasant stage - you will become free from your golden cage of your own brand and build yourself a new brand that will have no boundaries. If before, you didn’t say what you really liked or what you really thought about this or that because you were afraid of not pleasing someone or losing friends, now you can safely say what you really think. Because there will be people around who like you precisely because of their personal preferences, and not because you agree with them just to please.

And it will definitely become easier for you, because now you will not need to follow what you wrote, or what you wore, or who you now appear in photographs with. You are you. And next to you are those people who love you, appreciate you and trust you precisely because of this.

Do not confuse honesty with outright rudeness and rudeness. This freedom does not mean at all that you can say nasty things right and left. This freedom means you can now build your personal brand on trust, make yourself better, and learn to take responsibility for what you say.

Today we will talk about rudeness. About what they “treat” from in good communicative competence trainings. Ham is the one who tells the truth: to everyone, always, no matter what, not thinking about anything, not applying anything to himself. Ham really dislikes lies in all its forms, deceit, even an innocent one. Ham considers himself a fighter for the truth. And yes, he suffers a lot. Therefore, a boor, as a rule, has shattered nerves and an increased temper.

All the "hotly debated problems" - arose due to the imperfection of the language. This is what Wittgenstein noticed. He called them - "philosophical pseudo-problems". Here I am now - I raise the same. Because you will again object to me: “How is it? Are you questioning the truth here? Are you teaching people lies? No, it’s all from the imperfection of the language, such are your thoughts and objections. There is simply "truth" and there is ... "truth". And it's called all in one word for some reason.

Rudeness and communicative competence. Is it always good to tell the truth

I'm talking and I'm going to talk in the future about ... rudeness, which calls itself the Truth in order to hide its true face.

The psychology of communicative competence teaches...

The psychology of communicative competence, by the way, is also different. Like the truth. One “psychology of communicative competence” (more precisely, that which actively pretends to be one) teaches how to deceive customers and your business partners. I'm not interested. Although I was taught this, after spending several semesters and calling different names items. To hide the true face.

But the “other psychology” of communicative competence teaches how not to be a boor in communication. And that's exactly what it all boils down to.

Therefore, today we will talk about rudeness. About what they “treat” from in good communicative competence trainings.

Why is it rude to tell the truth?

You have brown hair. Your friend comes up to you and says the following phrase: “Oh, no, green hair doesn’t suit you that way. I don't understand why you dyed your hair green color?»

What a friend says is not true. Because you didn't dye your hair green. Your hair is chestnut. It is obvious. Therefore, her words will not hurt you. They won't hurt anyone at all.

And here is another situation.

You have brown hair. Your friend comes up to you and says: “Oh, you have such sparse hair. I wonder how you have hairpins on them.”

What a friend said this time, unfortunately, will be true. You really do have thin hair. And not every other hairpin rests on them ...

How to calculate a boor by his favorite phrases

Ham is the one who tells the truth: to everyone, always, no matter what, not thinking about anything, not applying anything to himself. Ham really dislikes lies in all its forms, deceit, even an innocent one. Ham considers himself a fighter for the truth. And yes, he suffers a lot. Therefore, a boor, as a rule, has shattered nerves and an increased temper.

We know that a boor suffers for his rudeness, but a boor thinks that he suffers for the truth.

Here are the favorite phrases of the boor:

And what did I say wrong?
What really pricks your eyes?
No, but that's how it is, isn't it?

Yes, boors love the truth. And sometimes they go very far in this love. Now we will consider one of the boors' favorite genre, in which they like to express their thoughts and observations, points of view, anxieties and fears - attitudes and complexes. Attention...

Favorite topic of boors: “I don’t understand ... Why do you need this?”

Everyone who wants to sign up someday for a communicative competence training or go through it - for nothing, on their own! Just remember one thing:

Expressed addressing aloud bewilderment“Why does your friend like something (want something)” and even attempts to get something like an immediate justification report for the question asked

first of all, stupidity
secondly, rudeness.

A person will never answer your question: “Why does he like something”, if he hears in the intonation of the Questioner - contempt for the subject of his interest, or if he feels from a person - unwillingness (inability) to share these tastes. And often a person himself does not know why he likes something. And don't bother him with questions.

I have a couple of ladies I know. Both of them are periodically situational - boorish, like all of us, living people who closely communicate with each other, however.

One knows how and loves to knit. In general, she knows how to love and animate things, and often knits - scarves, sweaters.

The second loves to buy and re-read children's books.

Both have different life and everyday experience, different skills, different natural talents. Both souls yearn for ... different things. But she (soul) both have and she - yearns. And this is good.

And everything would be quite good if both did not start an irritated quarrel - barely seeing a hobby they did not understand.

In the described genre “I don’t understand .. Why do you need this?” communicatively incompetent people also resort to their favorite "truth". They can really prove that your "love":

useless
harmful
doesn't make sense
takes up your time and other resources,
does not allow to develop "as it should",
leads away from solving some pressing problems.

Criticizing the knitting of scarves, a pleasant lady rightly and invincibly makes a clear argument: "The whole market is littered with scarves." It's true. But does anyone really need such a truth? .. published.

Elena Nazarenko, Yakovleva Natalia

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness - together we change the world! © econet

How often do we face a choice - to tell the truth or remain silent? Which decision will be correct? To tell the truth - a person can be offended, not understand, you can become enemies, and in general, is it necessary to interfere in someone else's life? And what to do if already bursting with indignation? Not to say - a person will never know that he is doing (saying) wrong, he may never think about it, and not change, and why then do you need friends if you can’t say everything in each other’s eyes?

Have you ever wondered why so often what we say to people seems to break against the wall, why they do not take your advice? On the one hand, the people themselves are to blame, because because of their pride, ego, they prefer to hear exactly what is more pleasant for them, what cannot upset them and what does not diverge from their vision, the desire to live in an illusion is preferable to the truth for them. But there is another side of the coin - our straightforwardness.

The truth is often compared to a bitter pill, I would compare it to a piece of shit that you can put right in front of a person on the table and ask him to eat, or you can soak it, wrap it, cook it so that a person won’t even feel that he ate something not that and thank you for a delicious dinner.

The truth is really bitter (only a lie can be sweet) and it depends only on you how a person will eat it. You can say the same phrase different words, different intonations, rough or soft, from afar or directly.

Perfect option when you start from afar and talk as if about someone else who makes exactly the same mistake, or tell what you once read in one of the books ... Thus, a person will hear and think more likely than if you tell him tell the truth to your face.

If you have to speak directly, do it in a way that does not make the other person feel guilty. Believe me, every creature always knows that it did wrong, but not everyone admits this, not only in public, even to themselves. That's why we so often look for the guilty outside, everyone is to blame for us - work, weather, neighbor, wife, children, crisis, UFO ... but not us.

Every time you are faced with a choice - to speak, not to speak, you need to remember the following:
- sometimes the truth is useful, and sometimes useless, the truth can break a person, so sometimes it’s better to remain silent.
- ask yourself the question: “And to whom and what will be the benefit of this truth?”
- put yourself in the place of another person, how would you take such information in his place and take it in general?
- do not speak the truth in haste, especially in conflict situations. Wait, choose the right words.
- It is important to be not only honest, but also a tactful person.

The same goes for work. If you are building your personal brand, then you must be successful: post beautiful photos with beautiful and successful (or with those and those separately) people in beautiful places; give comments in fashion magazines; periodically star in front of cameras and cameras and delight your fans with photos on Instagram and Facebook. And it's not at all interesting for anyone to know, even harmful to know, that you really hate being photographed, that you are already tired of commenting, or that you want to stay as far away as possible from those with whom you constantly flicker in photographs?

What will happen if you suddenly start telling everyone the truth? And it will be a lot of fun! Trust me, I know what I'm talking about ;)

People will stop talking to you

People may think that you decided to take your own life.

People will start to think you're crazy

People will get scared

People will start to find you funny

You will be free

There are times when it seems impossible to tell the truth and not get into a fight, get hurt, or drive yourself into a corner. Partners sometimes deceive each other: they underestimate or exaggerate something, flatter and keep silent. But are lies always harmful?

Lies in the name of good manners

Sometimes, in order to comply with the rules of communication, you have to tell half-truths. If a spouse asks, “How was your day?”, it is likely that he is not really ready to listen to complaints about colleagues and the boss. His question is a manifestation of politeness, to which both partners are accustomed.

When you say, "It's okay," that's just as harmless a lie. You, too, follow the unwritten rules of communication. It would be much worse to constantly tell each other everything that comes to mind. A husband could describe to his wife how good a young secretary is, but it is wiser to keep such reasoning to yourself. Some of our thoughts may be inappropriate, unnecessary, or unpleasant. Sometimes you want to tell the truth, but we weigh the pros and cons before doing so.

Honesty or kindness?

Usually we act according to the situation and say what seems appropriate at a certain moment. You can, for example, draw the attention of a passer-by or a colleague: “Your button is undone” - or you can remain silent.

But don't throw out frank statements like "I can't stand the picture of your parents that you framed and gave me for my birthday."

There are situations when it is inconvenient to tell the truth, but it is necessary, and you have to choose words, intonation and time. The same question can be answered equally honestly, but in different ways.

You only look fat because of your fat, not because of your clothes.

Question: "Why are you against my meetings with friends?"
Incorrect answer: "Because they are all idiots, and you have absolutely no control over yourself, you can drink and do something."
Suitable response: “I'm worried that you might drink. There are so many single men around, and you are so attractive.

Question: "Will you marry me?"
Incorrect answer: "Marriage is not for me."
Suitable response: "I like the way our relationship is developing, but I'm not ready for such a responsibility yet."

Q: "Do I look fat in these bright green jersey shorts?"
Incorrect answer: "You only look fat because of your fat, not because of your clothes."
Suitable answer: "I think jeans fit you better."

Behind the words lies the motive

There are many ways to be honest and kind at the same time. When you don't know what to say or are afraid to tell the truth, it's best to ask for some time to think it over.

For example, you were taken by surprise with the question “Do you love me?”. Do not deceive a person or try to transfer the conversation to another topic. When it comes to something important, it is better to be frank.

Honesty in a relationship is necessary, but not required, such as telling your partner that they smell weird when you make love.

On the other hand, think about it - what happens when you deliberately try to hide something? Are you afraid that if you tell the truth, something bad will happen? Do you want to punish someone? Can't be delicate? Are you trying to protect yourself or your partner?

If you figure out the motives for your dishonesty, your relationship will benefit from it.