Work on oneself is a difficult process, therefore it requires balance, confidence in one's plans and a lot of physical and mental strength from a person. The results that he can achieve with hard work, the right actions on goals and himself, can exceed the most cherished desires. All investments in personal self-development are always worth it.

The meaning of the term work on oneself

In the modern world, it is customary to engage in self-improvement not so much in adolescence, when a person receives an education. Now and at 35, 40, or even 50 years old, people can start a new life. Someone will be forced by life itself, having presented painful lessons, the other will want to develop himself and gain wisdom. In addition, almost everywhere on the Internet you can find material on the search for the meaning of life, "creating" oneself. So what is this work on oneself, and why do you need to do something, if you already lived well before?

As a rule, a person is afraid to learn new things, because it seems unknown and frightening. Any change is a cumulative process. In the psychology of working on oneself, deterioration in life is noted at first. Anxiety increases, a person may begin to get nervous and worry, I want to return everything the way it was before. However, you should not quit what you started, leave therapy. The power over one's own destiny and future is in the hands of the individual himself. It happens that at first there is an unprecedented spiritual uplift, a resource and a lot of ideas appear, a desire to share, laugh, express emotions. Then comes the decline. This is natural in working on yourself.

Psychologists often compare the process of self-improvement with a ladder: first there is a hard climb, where various studies of internal fears and painful moments can begin. Then comes a relatively flat period, after - again the wall.

It should be remembered! With each step, new perspectives and opportunities open up, life only gets better every year.

Where to begin

What does the work on oneself consist of, where to start, what steps to take initially - to realize and accept the fact that the process will take time and effort. A famous quote by Oleg Gennadyevich Torsunov, a Vedic doctor - “Working on oneself changes relationships, changes fate, changes life”, shows the importance of self-improvement. Any person on his life path is always learning new things. With each movement, he learns the world: the farther, the more he manages to learn. Therefore, the knowledge of the new is natural for a person.

How to start working on yourself on your own - take responsibility for your development. Motivation should be internal, not external. You need to do, try, and not wait for changes and complaints from others.

In any business, the very first step is to write down your goal and plan.

Important! For some individuals, self-improvement is vital. So, psychological help for people with diseases of the nerves, the psyche is not only in special therapy, but also in the patient's ability to engage in introspection and self-improvement. As a result of fruitful work, neurotics acquire a calm life, psychasthenics become less anxious.

How to learn to work on yourself

Each person is accustomed to a certain rhythm of life. How to start working on yourself and improve, if all past attempts were crowned with failure - to find a goal and motivation. You should always repeat to yourself: if you do nothing, nothing will change. As a result, a person will either remain at the previous stage of development, or roll back.

man

How a man can work on himself, achieve success and enjoy life is a topical issue at the present time.

10 male rules of self-development:

• The ability to relax. Young people tend to keep everything in their heads, think logically. If you “unload” your consciousness in time, then it is possible to always be in good shape and composure.

Additional Information. For beginners in matters of meditation and psychotherapy, there is an audiobook by the English author Arnold Mindell "Independent work on oneself", which can be listened to online or downloaded to a medium. The book will help you to do inner work without the help of a therapist, using the techniques of process-oriented psychology.

• Attitude towards people. Surround yourself with positive people.
• Relationship with a partner. Learn to understand and hear each other.
• Job. To understand in what path there is a desire to develop and improve.
• Art. The ability to receive aesthetic pleasure.
• Sport. Develops will and endurance.
• The science. Engage in educational activities.
• Nature. Use it for your own purposes, often walk and create.
• Hobby. Expands horizons and develops talents.
• Live not only for yourself. This is the meaning of life.

woman

Where to start working on yourself for a woman is to realize her feminine, femininity, uniqueness.

Way of development:

• Reveal yourself as a girl, your identity, talents, best qualities. Get rid of what is blocking you.
• Devote the morning time completely to yourself: read a book, meditate, tune in to the upcoming day.

• Feed yourself with resources. Replenish female lunar energy daily.
• Work out internal relationships with parents, former partners.

Drawing up a work plan

There is nothing difficult in drawing up a work plan on yourself. It implies constant improvement of oneself, changing life for the better. To begin with, you should start either a diary or a notebook, where the amount of work and the result will be recorded.

Note! The path of self-development is thorny. Therefore, the work is built not only with interfering external factors, but also with the inner "I". From different equally important pieces, a single puzzle is assembled, forming a new unique personality.

Work plan:

• Choose a direction for development,
• Firmly believe in the result,
• Find motivation for personal growth,
• "Awaken" willpower,
• Established habits to stop, remember the importance of new aspirations and a healthy lifestyle,
• The movement towards the goal should be progressive, but continuous.

Final result

You should not only study the questions of how to learn how to work on yourself correctly, but also constantly keep the end result inside. Goals should be formulated clearly, specifically, the result should be bright and defiantly striving to achieve it.

What results does a person strive for:

• Achieve harmony with your own "I",
• Save and increase your health. This is a very valuable resource, unfortunately, it is exhaustible.
• Defeat your own fears, complexes and weaknesses.

Job analysis

What it means to work on yourself is to be able to analyze your actions.

How to analyze yourself:

• Pay attention to your thoughts. What were they like over the past day, their content, negative or positive coloring.
• Keep a diary where you note all the experiences for the day that you had to deal with. Assess what is written.
• Hear your feelings. What feelings forced to do or not to do certain steps.
• Know your values, define and understand them.
• Write your life story: what kind of person I am, how I see myself before and now.

There is a lot to be said about self-development. However, it is necessary not only to think, it is more important to act right now, and not from Monday or the New Year. Time goes inexorably fast, if you start moving towards your goals today, in a year you can reach unprecedented heights.

Video

Elena Azhevskaya

Where to start working on yourself or how to start changing

Hello dear friends!

I bring to your attention the "Success Cheat Sheet". The idea for this book came to me purely by chance. The fact is that I have been engaged in personal growth for more than ten years: I read books, go through programs, and if I meet an interesting tool for self-improvement and development of myself as a person, I begin to apply it in my life.

This article is an introduction to the Cheat Sheet. In it, I will share with you my thoughts on how to start changing or on the first steps on the path to successful self-realization. Of course, this is work on yourself.

Where does success begin? I think that from laying the foundation! After all, the stronger the foundation, the more stable the building built on it. Therefore, it is necessary to think over everything and create a “foundation of success” so that any cataclysms are not terrible.

In order for everything to be clear, high-quality, easy and moderately fast, you need to figure out what personal qualities and skills will lead to success and where to start working on yourself.

Recipe for success

Indeed, we all understand that success does not come just like that, so what needs to be done to climb a new step in our development and get closer to our cherished goal?

While listening to the book by Nicholas Latansky "50 Secrets of Success", I learned about the existence of the Formula for Success by Thomas Leonard, the founder of personal coaching.

The essence of the formula is that a person's success is a derivative of three main components:

1. 10% - knowledge, skills, abilities of a person
2. 40% - way of thinking: how a person perceives himself and the world around him
3. 50% - environment, habitat

Now, according to this formula, we will be able to model a plan for "changing yourself" based on cheat sheet tickets.

I will immediately note that the material in this booklet will help to a greater extent to change the way of thinking and personal effectiveness (40% success), will affect the first component (10%), as it will lead to an improvement in intuition, which contributes to a better use of knowledge, skills and abilities.

But that's not all. You yourself will notice that along with how you yourself begin to change, along with how your inner world changes, your environment will also change, and this is 50% of success.

This means that you yourself will shape your environment, not only influencing your family and friends with your positive, but also attracting new friends, personalities who will contribute to your further development.

personal development

To begin with, you can simply look through, flip through the pages in order to have a strategic plan for further work on yourself: what you know, what you don’t know, maybe you know something, but you forget to put it into practice.

At one of the master classes on achieving the goals set by Evgeny Deineko, I learned that according to the statistics that the author himself collected, only 50% of the participants achieve the intended results after passing it, and the remaining 50% do not. Why do you think?

Because in order to quickly and easily get results in any area, first of all, personal self-sufficiency is needed, and then the use of “various chips” that are taught in trainings to achieve a specific goal: money, career, love - relationships, etc. d.

We are all different: someone lacks positive thinking, someone lacks positive emotions, someone has weak energy and simply does not have the strength to implement their plan into life. This is what personal growth is all about!

The tickets contain all this information. And perhaps, just by looking at the content, you will understand where to direct your efforts. In this case, you can proceed to a detailed study of the issue of interest.

Well, for those who are interested in all the tickets or it is difficult to decide where to start - let's start with the formation of good habits.

Good Habits

We all understand that in order to succeed, one strategy and dreams are not enough. It will be necessary to work hard to correct the prevailing stereotype of thinking and behavior in society. For this, first of all, we need strength and energy.

There certainly can not do without a healthy lifestyle!

Therefore, before moving on to a thorough study of each ticket, let's start introducing good habits and rituals into our lives that will have a beneficial effect on health and quality of life.

Morning work-out

Start with the easiest, for example, with morning exercises, the simplest exercises, similar to those that were once done at school, in the future you can diversify them with exercises from yoga, qigong gymnastics or from the Eye of Rebirth.

A glass of warm water

To the “Morning exercise” ritual, you can add the “Glass of warm water” ritual 20 minutes before or after eating at the rate of 1 liter per 40 kg. weight of a person (if a person weighs 80 kg., then to maintain the water balance, he needs to drink about 2 liters of water daily).

Mindful eating

This can hardly be called a ritual, it is more suitable for a lifestyle in an environment where you need to ensure that you do not buy or eat genetically modified foods, foods stuffed with preservatives, dyes and stabilizers.

Eat more vegetables and fruits. Eggs, fish, seeds, nuts, olive oil are very useful for the body. Do not forget that nutrition should be balanced.

Also, there are different opinions about the harm caused to food by heating them in a microwave oven (!).

Walks in the open air

Build your return home route in such a way that at least 20 minutes. could take a leisurely walk and get some fresh air.

Complete rest

Studying the material

Let's start studying the material. Read the ticket. Pick out your main ideas. Complete the practical task. Perhaps you are interested in some book or technique - so you need to get acquainted with the material. After all, in this way, reading books, watching videos, we rethink our own view of things. This is what development and growth is all about.

Environment

Let's start creating 50% of our success, namely, we create our own environment:

1. The environment is not only people who surround, but also objects, clothes, food. Therefore, before you buy or eat anything, think about how useful it will be for you. Also, try to surround yourself with beautiful things, set the table before eating. Try to enjoy everything, even any everyday moments, - this will add positive emotions and increase energy vibrations.
2. We surround ourselves with positive people. By subscribing to free mailing lists, you will receive letters from people who have already achieved success and, by reading their letters, you will naturally adopt their way of thinking. You can also join interest groups, for example, in the Facebook group “Personal Growth and Human Development”, I always post the materials I like. And, of course, if you have any questions, you can always ask me for help in the comments on the site and in social networks.

Information processing

Books and programs on positive thinking. Talking with many people who are fond of this topic, we came to the same conclusion: while reading a book, you are filled with positive and the desire to change your life for the better, but as soon as the book is read, the inspiration disappears, and everything becomes the same as and it was before.

Of course, the book has been read, but new behavioral skills have not been formed, so the information received must be worked out and re-read! In this regard, audiobooks and programs are good: you turn on the recording and you can do your own business that does not require mental stress (cleaning the apartment, cooking).

Once upon a time, more than ten years ago, I listened to an audiobook. At that time, my girlfriend and I were renting an apartment. She spent her free time with friends, and I spent more time at home and constantly listened to my favorite book. When she came home, she said: “Lena, are you zombifying again?!”:-))) Yes! Exactly! How else can you change your way of thinking?

Good results are obtained by the technique of working with subconscious attitudes, I am talking about it

Don't be afraid of new information! Of course, you need to listen to common sense and intuition. You can’t take anything for granted without checking it, and only then, if you like the idea, start implementing it into your life.

Inspirational related video

I wish you all success on this path and see you soon.

With love and respect, Elena Azhevskaya.

Change is inevitable. They are not needed only by those who are satisfied with the monotonous work and pastime in a beer bar as a rest. For those who have a little more ambition for their own lives, there are paths that are an order of magnitude higher. But change is something that can be exhausting, frightening, draining the last of your strength. And besides, they take time.

Where to start working on yourself if the possibility of change seems almost unrealistic? How to embark on this difficult path called "personal development"? Consider a few fundamental steps, without which the beginning of personal growth is impossible.

accept reality

Acceptance and understanding is one of the most necessary things. Why? Because as long as you do not open your eyes to the reality in which you live, alas, you live in the realm of self-deception. Denying the true state of things, a person himself closes the path to change. He rationalizes the situation, trying to imagine it better than it really is. And this makes him less motivated to make changes. It is also less likely that, by deceiving oneself, a person will be able to turn the energy of despair into a productive channel.

So accept reality, even if it's not easy. This will help you gain awareness, which is the first step to any new endeavor.

To have a wish

In order to grow spiritually and improve your life, you need to strive for improvement. Without this desire, nothing can help - neither advanced psychotechnologies, nor advice, nor best friends and coaches. Do you know what can make it easier to gain desire? Visualization of the result. You must be aware that work on yourself will sooner or later bear fruit. By presenting these results, it will be easier for you to make efforts to achieve the goal again and again.

Take responsibility

Each person is responsible for everything that happens in his life. And the current situation in which you are, is just the result of the decisions once made. No one else can live your life for you, and that someone else can be the cause of your failures is a pure illusion. Working on yourself involves developing the understanding that you no longer need anyone's direction or approval.

Refine your goals

When you have already roughly understood, there is still a need to clearly define the final goals and objectives. Think of them like a navigator in a car - you can't get directions unless you specify the destination.

• See also:

When you clearly define the tasks that will lead to the desired changes, you become more able to focus on specific efforts. Your goals should determine the path to achieve them, the areas of life that are subject to change, the end result.

Determine your strengths

Each person has a certain gift and has abilities above average in a certain area. Even if you are not a talented actor or singer, you can be a wonderful parent, a compassionate listener, a caring person.

What are your strengths? If you are not sure, you can ask this question to friends or family members. The answers may be surprising. Your talents and characteristics are what makes you exceptional and can help you bring about the change you need.

Set clear deadlines

Goals should be specific and have a time frame. If you have a goal, but you do not define a specific time frame for achieving it, it is unlikely that it will ever be achieved in principle. It's the same if you have a big goal, but you plan to achieve it in a short time. When planning, you need to be realistic about your capabilities. Instead of saying, "One day I'll be the life of the party," it's best to start with a goal of making a few new acquaintances within six months.

All the while you are working on change, try not to pay attention to obstacles and difficulties. Imagine how wonderful you will feel when the goal is achieved. And you can also determine for yourself the reward that you will receive when the job is done.

Take the first steps

So, after you have identified the weak points in your life, taken responsibility, clarified your goals, it's time to take concrete steps. These steps are specific actions that will help you achieve the desired changes. In fact, it is at this moment that work on oneself takes place. Where to start depends on your specific needs. If you would like to lose weight, then it will be an entry into a fitness club and the selection of the right diet.

If your goal is to improve academic performance, then these are regular classes on your own or with a teacher. Steps to achieve the goal help to overcome old habits, get rid of unnecessary attitudes, and bring the desired changes closer.

Cultivate perseverance and patience

One of the hardest things about making any change is sticking to your plan every day. It's an easy decision to make, but who wants to learn programming after a hard day's work? How can you refuse a chocolate cake in the company of girlfriends? And can a run on a rainy day be as much fun as a cozy sofa and your favorite TV show?

So, take care to stick to your goals and constantly remind yourself of them. Be vigilant and mark every day how close you are to your goals. Make sure that even in the face of distractions, failures or disappointments, you always have a supply of motivation and purpose.

Change and work on yourself include many aspects: it is the commitment, and the allocation of time, and the application of effort. But all this investment you make in the most important project - in yourself. And when you invest in yourself, you can get the most amazing rewards in the future.

Many people refuse to grow and develop, because at the initial stages, the results are almost impossible to measure or feel. However, those who reach heights know that the key to success is the ability to manage yourself in any situation. And this ability comes through hard work on yourself.

There is a wonderful saying that says: "Until the thunder breaks out, the peasant will not cross himself."

Indeed, most people understand that they need to work on themselves when life has pinned them to the wall. Some take up a healthy lifestyle when they hear a disappointing forecast from doctors. Others begin to reconsider their behavior if loved ones have turned away.

Of course, there are situations when a person clearly knows what he wants from life, makes plans on how to work on himself - on his own or with a psychologist. He purposefully goes to achieve the goal, overcoming all the difficulties on the way, in order to eventually become stronger. But there are not so many lucky ones. One can recall many well-known historical figures who, in fact, through long hard work, made their own name, for example, D.I. Mendeleev, S.A. Yesenina, D.S. Likhachev and many others. However, a simple person (such as you and me) will rarely be inspired by the example of at least one of these people, isn't it? We have separated ourselves too much from such comparisons.

What makes a person need to work on himself

What makes a person look at himself, his actions, bad habits in a different way? Life itself, which daily shows colorful examples: "Work on yourself, otherwise you will not achieve anything." When we understand that time is running out inexorably, but so little has been done, and we want so much, we begin to think. There are thoughts that you need to work on yourself, fight weaknesses, set goals and strive to fulfill them.

Often, health leads us to the need for self-correction: when a person drank and smoked and faced problems with the cardiovascular system, it was time to grab onto the mind. Sometimes external circumstances contribute to change - low-paid work does not bring satisfaction, a person cannot buy what he wants. Then he begins to look for another place, seeks education, makes useful contacts.

A kick from fate in the overwhelming majority of cases serves as a trigger signal that echoes in our minds: “Work on yourself or don’t!”.

Can you deal with problems on your own?

There is another good saying on this subject, which says: "One man is not a warrior." Any person at a certain stage of life needs support, sympathetic attention, a reliable shoulder. Whom to turn to for advice when the need arises and work on yourself is up to you to decide.

• You can trust a friend.

  Who will listen, prompt, cheer. Just do not confuse a friend with a colleague or acquaintance for whom your situation is a reason to “grind the bones”, and do not impose your vision on anyone in order to lure him to a joint start.

• Or seek the help of experts.

  An intelligent master (coach, psychologist) will teach you the “correct” introspection. A person, having attended trainings, will be able not only to see the problem, but also to learn how to work on himself correctly, fruitfully, which areas to pay special attention to, what mechanisms to use, where to look for strength and resources for change. It is important that there is trust in the master, so that this person is pleasant, does not cause internal rejection.

• It helps a lot to connect with like-minded people.

  For example, a woman decides to lose weight. Naturally, it is not easy at first to give up sweets, night snacks, watching TV shows on your favorite couch (instead of going to the gym). Perhaps the same people who want to lose weight will come to the aid of a losing weight person. Where to find them? Anywhere - in the same gyms, in groups of social networks, on forums. It is psychologically easier to accept changes when there are concrete examples of the achievements of people with your problem, they inspire and help find solutions. Look for such examples on the web. By the way, the same support group can be found at collective trainings, where people come driven by the goal of understanding themselves and changing.

• Go yourself.

  But sometimes a person has to go himself along the difficult road to the desired. And the lack of support from the outside is not a reason to abandon the idea of ​​working on yourself in order to achieve more. If the thought of the need for changes in life appeared in my head, it means that a small step towards victory has already been taken.

How to start working on yourself

Let's say you decide to change something in yourself - a habit, bad qualities. Or maybe you are not satisfied with some details in life - the absence of a soulmate, dissatisfaction with work. You can start building a life that satisfies you by following these points:

1. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

   Realize, whining doesn't actually get you anywhere. Relatives, of course, may take pity on you, listen to you, but the problems will not disappear from this. So you not only harass others, but simply crush water in a mortar. Although the minutes spent complaining can be used much more productively.

2. Try to turn problems into tasks.

   For example, you think your character is terrible. On the one hand, this is a problem, on the other hand, the task is to become more balanced, calmer and more patient. Or you have an alcohol problem. It can also be retrained as the task of starting to lead a sober lifestyle. Cheer up, almost every mistake can be corrected if desired. And you should start doing this by changing your attitude to the situation.

3. Stop thinking you're a failure.

   Sometimes we say to ourselves the words: “I won’t succeed, I definitely won’t cope.” Naturally, after that, you don’t want to do anything, because we doomed ourselves to failure with just one phrase. It's better to say: "I'll try!". There are no people in nature who can do everything - moments of weakness, bad habits, everyone has flaws. Why are you worse than others?

4. It is not easy to honestly evaluate your shortcomings and advantages if you are not used to seeing the good in yourself. Take a piece of paper where you write down all your pros and cons. And then think about it, maybe some negative aspects can be transformed, if not into virtues, then at least in the features of your character?

   For example, others blame you for being unsociable, unsociable, cold, indifferent. But isn't that your thing? Your reluctance to flaunt your emotions does not interfere with your life, but, on the contrary, helps you focus and not commit rash acts.

5. Make a plan for working on yourself.

   You need to start looking for goals and paths that will lead to success. Moreover, the task should be as specific as possible, and even more specifically divided into subtasks. Not just “I want to be rich and famous”, but “I want to get an economic education, learn English, find a good job in finance with a salary of 100 thousand rubles, improve my skills, rise in position ...”. If you have a goal to start leading a healthy lifestyle, write down in the plan all the points that will lead to a dream: “go to bed no later than 11 pm, do a 15-minute exercise in the morning after a contrast shower, eat oatmeal instead of sandwiches for breakfast ...). Always having a clear plan in front of your eyes, it will be easier for you to focus on its points and thus purposefully go towards your plan.

6. Do not deviate from the points of the plan.

   A person who works on himself will achieve victory if he does not put things off indefinitely. Decided to change yourself - start now. Believe me, tomorrow or in a week you will also not want to go for a morning run (give up a cigarette in favor of, for example, an apple or clean yourself up instead of watching a series).

7. Enlist the support of comrades (friends, colleagues, relatives).

   Share the news that you started working on yourself with a person you like. Perhaps he will give useful advice, suggest something from his experience. However, stay away from scoffers (those who perceive your undertakings with malicious irony). It is better to read a book or take a walk alone with your thoughts.

8. Don't miss out on reminders.

   Sometimes people are very helpful, for example, notes with cheat sheets (“at 12 you need to do 20 squats, at 14 drink a glass of juice, at 16 go for a walk”). Use your phone, a cross on your hand, or a sticker on your computer to remind you. Sometimes it's hard to keep everything in your head. Such reminders will serve as an incentive to ensure that you do not turn off the chosen path.

9. Find practical meaning in the change.

How not to go the distance, starting work on yourself

If you are thinking about how to work on yourself, then you are already on the right track. Now, don't let yourself get sidetracked from your plan. Whether you call a specialist, a friend for help, or whether you act alone is not so important. The main thing is to strive for a designated point on the path. At the same time, it is not at all necessary to set grandiose plans for yourself - this way you will soon run out of steam. Set a small task, but do it as productively as possible. Suppose daily runs of 15 minutes will be more fruitful than a one-time marathon of 5 kilometers. Don't give up, don't feel sorry for yourself. Realize that only you can change your life. And believe in yourself, you will certainly succeed.

It is difficult to imagine an occupation more difficult than working on oneself. But the effect of it is grandiose. Not many people believe that this task can be completed. There are even fewer people who are ready to take on themselves, and even without outside help, and even more so.

Experiment: change or die

Ian Deutschman, in his article “Change or Die,” spoke about the results of a study of a group of people who were faced with the task of giving up certain habits under the threat of death.

Even this strong stimulus only worked for 10 percent of patients. Over the course of a year, nine out of ten test subjects, despite killing themselves, returned to their usual lifestyle.

This experiment provides an opportunity to appreciate how strong the power of habit is, and how difficult it is to resist even when making vital decisions.

It is difficult to imagine a higher degree of motivation than in the study described. If the threat of death does not force people to change, in a safe situation they are even less inclined to give up habits.