You probably already guessed that I was not one of those who made their way through barbed wire to America for seasonal earnings on tobacco plantations. Although I admit: I have been to the north. Before the injury, of course. Mexico is not only about drug cartels. A controversial country where you can find almost everything. And everyone. Consider me a professor if you really want to consider me someone. So what's the reason?

I thought this was unfair.

Our worlds are filled with injustice. What exactly bothered you?

You yourself said: a cripple here and there. It is not right.

And you decided to fix it? Generously…

Well, combined with what I could get from you, it’s not so generous.

Is it true that they wrote on the forum that you were Russian?

This explains a lot. Various things often come upon them...

I'll leave now. I'll go make money. As I already said, I need a lot of them. Apart from them, nothing else is needed in the game. You have a choice - leave with me or stay. I won’t even be offended if you tell the guys at the teleport everything that you just found out.

I’m tempted to babble, but life experience tells me that with you I’ll get much more than from them. Greed is my vice. So I'm forced to stay.

You may not like me. Many problems.

And don’t try to persuade me: I won’t change my mind. So where do we go?

We'll go clean out the Chaos dungeon.

Together?!

Are you still waiting for someone?

No, but somehow there aren’t too many of us for such things, don’t you think?

Last time I was completely alone - and nothing happened, I managed. Accept the invitation to the party.

Caught it. What!.. My mother! Like this?!

Small bonuses from my achievements.

And you call this “small”?!

You get plus seventeen to the primary characteristics and four to the secondary ones while you are in the same squad with me. And you will gain forty percent more experience, plus some other small things. Didn’t you know that it’s nice to walk with heroes?

Yes, I knew, of course, but not to the same extent! You are not a hero - you are some kind of monster!

Oh, thanks…

Such a cute monster. Monster.

I ask you to avoid any hints related to my disguise. Put this on.

Armor for the tenth - I can’t get one like that.

Start with rings and bracelets. The virtual level will rise just to ten. Almost all items with bonuses to health are so that you don’t get hit there. I know how to resurrect, but noobs-zeros on respawn fly away faster than I can aim at them and cast. Your task in the dungeon is simple: you must survive. Well, you will be able to download the characteristics, if not to the detriment of the first task. You, unlike other players, do not have the points that are given at the beginning, so you will have to try to compensate for this somehow.

Understood. It's a pity I can't raise the level.

In a week you will lift it too, I can’t remove the locks before.

Can you do this too?!

Otherwise I wouldn't have said it.

Fantastic!

Yeah. Consider yourself in a fairy tale.

Is it true? And at the end of the fairy tale, as expected, we will get married?

I asked: no hints! There is no need to react this way to ordinary disguises. In addition, I will emerge from the dungeon as a green orc with fangs below the chin - I will try to create that very image especially for you.

OK. Persuaded. I won’t count on you for marriage. I am, of course, illegible, but not to the same extent.

Here, take the pickaxe again.

Why do I need her?

Scratch your back.

So I reach with my hands.

Having cleared the dungeon, we will extract local resources: precious stones. Almost everything is of good quality, many are excellent. I have a high cut, and as a result, trading with players, you can get up to fifty thousand in silver, and maybe more. Even if we don’t knock out expensive items from the boss and his hiding places, we’ll still make good money.

If you get that much every day, then yes.

Will not work. After completely clearing the dungeon, the forces of Chaos regain it only a month later. There was nothing to do there before.

And what will we do for the remaining twenty-nine days?

It will only take about a week to clean up. Then I will open the lock from your level. Then we'll spend a week somewhere. We will sell loot, make stones, and swing. In general, we’ll find something to do. Then I will change my image, and we will go to the Russian sector.

Well... I’m Russian after all.

Is this the reason?

I still don’t know what we will do there, but for some reason I am strongly drawn to it. I'm Russian - apparently, that's the only thing. No matter what, but the Motherland.

Yeah. You are a sentimental nation. Something is a little wrong - you immediately start looking towards your snow. What will it be like for me there? I don't know your language.

There are built-in translators in the game.

The quality of their translation is not very good.

If you want, you will learn. It's not easy for me here either.

Okay, let's agree honestly: I, so be it, agree to go to your cold Gulag. And in return you will not change your face for such an image. No, don’t look so angrily in my direction - this is not a hint at your camouflage business! I just don’t feel comfortable being next to a fanged orc. And I can’t stand the color green since childhood. You can even call me a racist, but don't do that! - Digit rolled his eyes in mock horror.

Okay, I'll be a goblin or even a humpbacked camel. Just stop talking already, it's time to get to work.

Ros activated his legendary skill, which worked once a day. A wide teleport arch lit up in front of him: much larger than that created by a simple scroll, and the lighting was different, mostly yellow.

How did you do this?! - Digit was surprised. - Without a scroll?!

Scrolls are expensive, so I save.

No, I definitely found myself in a fairy tale,” said Digit, shaking his awkward head and stepping into the teleport.

notes

1

San Francisco (colloquial) is a city and county in the state of California, USA.

2

White- white (English).

3

One of those southern US states where racial problems were very serious, their echoes are still evident in the lore.

4

Account, aka acc- player account. Includes a set of information for authorization, accounting, etc. As a rule, there are no serious obstacles to one person creating several accounts, and therefore in modern online games the number of accounts can be much higher than the actual number of players.

5

Online- in this context, the state in which the player’s character (or equipment for simulators) is in a network game.

6

In network slang - communication, connection to a network resource (including a game server).

In the book “The Strangest Noob” by Artyom Kamenisty, readers will be able to see a very fascinating game world and, together with the hero, will immerse themselves in it with all their consciousness.

The main character is a Russian guy who works in a secret production in the USA. His name is Evgeniy, but the nickname Ros is most often used. Events take place in the future. Full immersion virtual reality games are becoming the most popular. Technologies are developing and have reached the point where it is possible to immerse a person’s consciousness in a game even after his death.

Evgeniy is not a fan of computer games, and therefore is completely unfamiliar with this universe. But one day he had to go there. After an accident in the service, he found himself on the verge of life and death. Since he received injuries that are very difficult to heal, there was little choice - either die or go to virtual reality, where you can earn money and exchange it for real money. Such earnings will enable Evgeniy to recover and survive. And he agrees to this.

Finding himself in one of the most popular games, whose players are millions of people, Ros at first understood nothing at all. After all, he had never encountered life inside a game before. But gradually he figured it all out, not without help, of course. He also realized that he had special abilities, and therefore was needed by someone influential.

Ross had to adapt to difficult conditions when yesterday's alliance fell apart. Now there is only war ahead. Every day there are magical battles, the ruins of the mine, which has suddenly become a desired prey, are constantly transferred from one to another. Everyone leaving and entering the city undergoes a thorough check. The weak suffer, and the strong are busy with their own affairs. Power and victory in the war are much more important to them, and they also need Ros, the strangest noob.

On our website you can download the book “The Strangest Noob” by Kamenisty Artyom for free and without registration in fb2, rtf, epub, pdf, txt format, read the book online or buy the book in the online store.

All past agreements on neutrality and even friendship have been forgotten. Yesterday's allies look at each other like wolves, and if only they would look: swords ring, arrows whistle, magic thunder rolls. Yesterday, a still useless, almost unprofitable mine became the scene of fierce battles. Its incinerated ruins change hands several times a day. All roads in the province are under control and no one can enter or leave the city without an identity check. The weak suffer due to the incessant violence from the eastern raiders who arrived at the noise, and the strong... The strong are busy searching for the culprit. They want the weirdest noob.

When you take hold of a magician's staff, do not expect that no one will take it away from you. Or it won't change for anything. For example, the pickaxe with which you met the first days of your new birth, just as rusty and good for nothing. Everything that happens to you will happen again and again. Perhaps with minor variations. For example, from a relatively free miner you will turn into a powerless slave.
Entire provinces are burning in the fire of an unprecedented invasion; the strongest clans and the emperor's guards have taken up arms, trying to stop the hordes of non-humans. A war is raging that no one expected, for which no one prepared, not even suspecting that the boredom of provincial life could be dispelled so quickly and cruelly.
What is your role in all of this? Unknown. But you know where you should start: pick up the pickaxe and get started. There is enough ore here for your lifetime.

The Second World is a virtual space without inviolable borders and strict laws. Complete freedom of action within the vague framework of gaming conventions. Pay and enjoy, and the rest is not your concern, the machines of the latest generation will take care of everything. They are incapable of making mistakes, they cannot be bribed, they cannot evade one step from the main rules of the Second World. So rest assured: your gameplay is under reliable supervision.
But are supernet AIs really that omnipotent? Then why do they disappear one after another and the best minds of the corporation cannot identify the cause of such global failures? And how can you be calm about your gameplay if the owners of the game universe have left many loopholes inaccessible to ordinary players? Including the unthinkable - with one attack from a monster hidden in a technical location, you can destroy any player in both the virtual and real world.
Those behind the scenes of the Second World don't play games. Everything is much more serious.

Artem Kamenisty

The weirdest noob

Darkness is never absolute. Even in an unlit room, with no windows and tightly closed eyes, you can always see at least something: a thick rash of barely noticeable white dots, faded stains, unclear, elusive pictures. It was as if a tattered negative of an overexposed film had been inserted into a projector, and they had decided to use the inner surface of the eyelids as a screen.

He didn't need to explain what that meant. He remembered everything, or almost everything, until that very moment when there was a flash in the hangar. Possibly the last light he saw in his life.

He no longer has a visual center, or at best it is severely damaged. Even if his eyes are preserved, which is unlikely, he simply has nothing to receive information from them. No other explanation came to mind.

The visual center is not a tiny point in the background. It is very possible that the brain was damaged in several places, and seriously damaged. Actually, given the force that gave birth to that last outbreak, it is surprising that he is still alive and even retained the ability to think rationally.

Or maybe not alive at all? Death is an unknown phenomenon. With all the knowledge accumulated by humanity, no one has yet given an exact answer to what comes after.

It is difficult for an atheist to believe in higher powers, but now he would not be surprised if a luminous tunnel with winged figures and divine music opened in front of him.

The tunnel did not open. And the winged angels did not catch his sinful soul. Instead, he heard a strange voice:

Day ninety-eight. Examination. One, one, one. You hear me? If you hear, try to answer. At least react somehow. We see that your indicators have changed, but we don’t know whether you are conscious.

Doesn't really sound like the voice of a higher power. But it doesn't sound like a human voice either. It’s faceless, somehow metallic, as if a synthesizer is broadcasting. Despite the situation, he did not fall into confusion, which would result in problems with an adequate perception of reality. Almost instantly I realized that his assumptions about damage to the visual system were indirectly confirmed. They are trying to reach him using the organs of hearing. Judging by the absence of background sounds, most likely he does not have ears either; information is transmitted by acting directly on the sound nerve or areas of the brain responsible for hearing.

What does he even have?! What's left?..

I can hear you. Can you hear me?

Repeat. I'm making adjustments, there's a lot of distortion.

I can hear you. One, one, one, one...

Enough. We can hear you well. Expect, now you will have an important conversation.

In the absence of any stimuli, it is difficult to judge how much time has passed. It seemed to him like an eternity. But everything in the world is finite: the same metallic voice came to life again:

Congratulations. We no longer hoped. You have returned from the other world. How are you feeling?

Can not answer. In turn, I’ll ask: exactly how many of me returned from the other world? What's wrong with my body? And what about the rest? Those who were nearby.

Unfortunately, I also cannot give an answer. Exact answer. To do this, you need to contact a doctor.

Aren't you a doctor?

No. Yes, you must remember me: I'm Steve Adkins.

I remember. You worked on personnel selection for our project.

Yes that's right. True, I have been promoted a little since then.

Since then? It was yesterday. I saw you just yesterday.

No, you didn't see me yesterday. More precisely, they saw it, but this is in your “yesterday”. I'm sorry, but you were in a coma for some time.

How long?

It would be better to find out about this from the doctors; I was asked not to provide such details.

Why am I talking to you and not to them?

They provide our conversation. You and I need to discuss extremely important details as quickly as possible. For this purpose, an employee of the legal department has been called, we will discuss all the details with his participation. Wait a bit.

Subtleties? Shall we talk? As far as I understand, everything is very sad with my body. Why should I talk to a company representative and its lawyers? Enlighten. Or did the doctors not even allow this?

I'm not a lawyer, it's difficult for me...

But you still try.

Fine. I'll be brief. I cannot comment on your condition, but it was the result of an injury received during working hours at the workplace. The management in my person expresses to you sincere...

You promised briefly.

I'm sorry. So, according to the terms of the contract, in such cases the company bears the costs of treatment. True, there are limitations. In particular, we do not pay for treatment abroad. We also do not pay for foreign deliveries of organs for transplantation. Well, and a few other points. In your case, payment has been and is being made in full. We were ready to do this in the future, but your unexpected recovery from the coma slightly disrupted the plans.

Plans? I hope you meant treatment plans?

I’m sorry, but full treatment in your case is difficult. Actually, more or less guaranteed maintenance of your life was possible only in a coma. By leaving it, you have created a problem for your body.

And why do I need a body if it is not treated?

I admire your cool assessment of your condition. It is really very difficult. But medicine does not stand still. There are already experimental developments that may help in your case.

Do you want to offer me an experimental treatment?

What do you. No. You misunderstood me. Let's put it this way: you have to wait for new treatments to become available. The safest way to do this is in a state of artificial coma. This reduces the load on the body, and your psyche can be seriously affected during the wait.

I understand that you want to invite me to voluntarily go into a coma?

Yes, there is a method that is completely safe.

It is not for you to judge this, but for the doctors, whom for some reason I do not observe.

You can talk to your doctor right now, but I'm afraid he'll suggest the same thing. There is no alternative.

There is always an alternative.

I have heard about your extraordinary talents, but I will be extremely amazed if you find another way out of this situation. I don’t think staying in the current state is a solution - it would, in fact, be veiled euthanasia.

I need a lawyer.

He's about to be here.

Am I at the clinic?

Were you on duty here, waiting for me to come to my senses?

No, what are you talking about?

So, have you arrived? It’s hard for me to judge time, but it didn’t seem like much time had passed.

I connected to you through the equipment of the medical station in our laboratory building.

So the lawyer is now walking from the administrative building?

Exactly.

When it arrives, turn it back.

What? For what?

I really need a lawyer, but not yours. I need my lawyer.

The company does not pay for third party services...

Did I say anything about payment? Contact Morrison & Fenton right now in Frisco [San Francisco (colloquial)- a city and county in the state of California, USA.]. Tell Mr. Fenton I'm in big trouble. Ask him to represent my interests. If he agrees, familiarize him with the situation and help him contact me as quickly as possible. I suppose there may not be much time for this?

Yes, your condition... Well, you understand. And I want to assure you that you are in vain in refusing our lawyer. I assure you that no one is planning anything bad against you, it’s just the situation...

Sorry to interrupt you again, but time, I... we both understand, is precious. Please hurry up.

Fine. Wait a bit.

Again he is alone with the darkness, but is busy not looking at its incomprehensible darkness, but thinking. Perhaps he had a useful conversation with Adkins. I achieved what was required, and even without serious objections. This, of course, if the conversation was with Adkins, and not with his own schizophrenia, locked in the remains of the brain disfigured by the explosion. What's next? Is there an alternative? And will Morrison help find her? Morrison is unlikely, but if Adkins gets through to him, he will most likely entrust this case to Byte. But Byte can find the front exit even from a gas chamber, and at least two doormen in liveries will stand on its sides, without a single speck of dust.

And Byte also owes him something, and I want to believe that he is one of those people who does not forget about debts.

Perhaps it really is schizophrenia... How can Byte help in a hopeless situation? Here we don’t need to think about lawyers, but about euthanasia or coma, which are essentially the same thing.

John? Can you hear me?

Steve, I would be much happier if you call me Evgeniy now.

Okay, Evgeniy, whatever is more convenient for you.

It turns out that there is good in the situation of a dying person. You can brazenly give a damn about the Americanization of the most sacred thing: the name.

Small, but a plus.

We contacted Mr Morrison. He agreed to handle your case. His employee John Byte will work with you.

When can I talk to him?