Wise sayings and phrases about betrayal. What to do if friends betrayed you, how to cope with the pain of resentment? When loved ones betray you

Betrayal- This is a violation of the agreement by a loved one. Moral harmless forms of betrayal are a violation of this oath or promise, not justification of hopes or infringement of interests on the part of a loved one. The most serious case is physical betrayal - this is a betrayal that leaves a deep and aching scar in the soul of every person, after which a person loses faith in people.

The emotions of a person who has been cheated on are overwhelming and all his actions will be dictated by the state of his soul. He is looking for reasons for betrayal, delving into the past, blaming himself for his betrayal and trying to find faults in himself. Then he begins to hate the person who has changed, considers him a vile traitor who is guilty of his misfortune. A little later, a state of depression appears, under the influence of which the offended person begins to blame and threaten, cry and curse, and begins to beg to return.

Psychologists compare the state of mind of such a person with a mirror. A person stands in front of a mirror and sees himself beautiful, smiling in the mirror - and in a moment, he looks - there is nothing. It also changes in the soul of a person who has been cheated on, in a short time it becomes empty. Instead of love and trust, anger, resentment, and a desire for revenge settle in her.

As you know, having broken firewood in the heat of the moment, it is impossible to solve the problem. Therefore, having learned about the betrayal of a loved one, first of all you need to calm down and think about how you are going to continue to build relationships with this person. No one can force you to be with the person who has hurt you and made you unhappy. Do not forget that every person is the blacksmith of his own happiness, and it is up to you to decide whether to suffer further or cut the thread that connects you.

Forgive betrayal and survive betrayal, you can only rid yourself of the negativity that has settled in the soul. To do this, you must try to change your view of betrayal, and put yourself in front of the fact that you cannot fix what has already happened. So you need to look for the reasons that pushed a loved one to commit treason. Maybe he just made a mistake, and did not act to spite you, or he is just a weak person and needs to be pitied. After all, any ugly act is associated with a combination of circumstances and time. Think about why someone close to you chose to hurt you.

In order to forgive the unforgivable, you need to try to understand what made your loved one do this to you. To forgive betrayal means to live like this, as if everything is fine and everything is forgotten, everyone is loved and nothing terrible has happened. However, it is very difficult to imagine such a life after betrayal, because what to do with resentment and fears of repeating infidelity, distrust, alienation, and maybe hatred. Many, remaining to live on, want to take revenge, which is fundamentally wrong and useless. The thirst for revenge is a destructive feeling and it will not cancel the fact of treason.
Having learned the fact of treason, there is a desire to break everything, disperse but not everyone gets it. Statistics show that most often married couples continue to live with their unfaithful half. Only love pushes people to such heroic deeds, gives strength and patience, which allows many not to feel lonely in this world.

Answer to the question: how to survive the betrayal of a loved one without studying the motives and causes of a particular situation, no psychologist can give. This answer should be found only by the person who was betrayed. Whether to forgive a loved one, if he only stumbled and promises to improve, is up to you, not listening to other people's opinions and advice. Listen to your heart and it will not deceive you.
There are times when a breakup is inevitable, or the traitor just leaves on his own, leaving you.

In this case, try accept it as a gift of fate and in the future try not to lose confidence in people. After all, a distrustful person suffers first of all himself. Life cannot be lived alone, without support, support and trust. Next time, learn from this betrayal and don't make so much room in your life for a new loved one. After all, it has been noticed that the stronger our feelings about betrayal are, the more responsibility for our fate we managed to transfer to the person who cheated on us.

• It is necessary to react calmly to this, there is no need for trials, tantrums. If possible, just stop contacting them and achieve success on your own to spite them so that they themselves regret that they did so. Then they themselves will apologize, and you have success and in their eyes you are on a horse.
• I think time heals. And you just need to wait a little and everything will pass, it's a pity that time won't help me anymore
• Maybe you should understand the situation, look at it from a different angle? If in fact this is a betrayal, then some new activity or hobby can help you. Once upon a time, I felt bad and I went to study at a driving school and completely occupied my time and my thoughts with this. The main thing is not to think constantly about betrayal.

What to do if you were betrayed by the closest and dearest people?

Negativity Close ones are negative, they are pessimistic, they despise those who are more successful than them, and hate those who are worse than them. And communication with them takes away your spiritual energy.

For example, I don’t really believe in any kind of energy there, but I can say for sure that from the point of view of psychology, communication with people with such mental trauma will take you out of balance and will not allow you to look at the world sensibly. So take it easy. 5. Lies If someone deceives you once, shame on them.

Info

If someone cheats on you twice, shame on you. This is an old proverb, but very accurate. Never let your loved ones lie to you. Even blood relatives.

Then they themselves will apologize, and you have success and in their eyes you are on a horse. It just needs to be experienced. And in general, the less you hope for others and expect something from others, the less disappointment you get from this world.

7 Things Your Loved Ones Do That You Shouldn't Forgive

Attention

Take care of your loved ones, take care, Do not skimp on the love of the word. If you want to say something, then do not think that the time has not come. Do not spare good deeds for loved ones, Do not spare the warmest words. Warm people with your tenderness, Do not spare strength for love.

Do not be afraid to show your loved ones, How you value them in this life. How terribly afraid of losing them, And happy that you can be with them. Take care of your loved ones, So as not to regret later, someday, If suddenly you again want to return What you have lost forever ... Karina Tolkueva.

2011-05-17 21:09:26 - Nadezhda Nikolaevna MalyuginaI ask you to love your family and friends We often live in a hurry and are busy with business, We leave our loved ones for later, And then we cry, why are they not with us? Why did they leave relatives, children and home? And the heart, weeping alone, was weary, He wanted family warmth so much, Tired of waiting for love, kindness, like mercy, Was exhausted from hatred, grief, evil.

What to do if you've been slandered?

I advise you to just live and remember that there are people who do not wish you well, that's all. You will become simply angrier to life. Or maybe it’s not worth putting a stigma or a label to hang up - “betrayal”? It may not be a betrayal at all ... It is worth taking a closer look at the person whom you considered such. Try to understand. And if he also considers himself guilty, think about what prompted him to take this step. Maybe you didn’t give something, didn’t justify his expectations in some way. It doesn’t happen like this: everything is fine and, bam, betrayal ... Look for the roots ...
Everything that happens in our life must be accepted humbly, so for some reason we need to survive it. I experienced the betrayal of a close friend. It was insulting, painful. But time passed and everything calmed down. And suddenly, five years later, she showed up and wanted to renew her friendship, but I didn’t need it anymore. Therefore, live as you lived, only without these people.

Slander. what to do and how to survive if you have been slandered

Indeed, in the Qur'an and in many sayings of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) it is said that in the Other World the oppressed will demand from all their offenders to fully compensate for the harm caused to them, including their own children and parents. To forgive them or not is your right, you can forgive, or you can leave them for that Light in order to fully compensate for the harm done to you.

But, of course, if you forgive them, you will be rewarded much more than you can get from them. In addition, practice shows that when a person forgives his offenders, it becomes much easier for him.

From the point of view of psychology: In principle, none of us is immune from the misfortune that happened to you. There will always be unscrupulous people who will begin to build lies on us and attribute to us things that we did not commit.

When the closest relatives and friends do not support ... (((

But unfortunately, I stopped trusting my mother, and the rest of my relatives. Even if friends or acquaintances have betrayed somewhere, I am already calmer about this, and I always try to either replace these people with new ones or look for other ways out of the situation.

Yes, it may sound cynical or not pleasant, but from a certain point I no longer allow anyone to disturb my emotional balance, and now I really live much better.

• What makes you think that your relatives betrayed you? Maybe they did it so that you feel good! Usually close people do not betray. Look at it from their point of view and maybe you will understand that they are right?
• Leave everyone, just like with friends. I don't talk to my brother for two years. At first it was hard, but now it’s not and it’s not necessary, I didn’t want to! Live on and do not pay attention, do not worry. Find new friends.

Do not offend relatives and friends ...

It is possible that the slanderer himself was at the mercy of false information, who, by virtue of his own mind, accepted it as a fact and began to be guided by it. Before that, of course, it would not hurt to talk to the slanderer himself and announce his intention to organize a confrontation.

It is quite possible that the prospect of being exposed in front of a significant person will force you to change your intentions and give rise to a desire to fix everything as soon as possible. This happens very often. If both are unacceptable due to various circumstances, then simply act as if nothing happened, and then others will themselves come to the conclusion that all that information was fictitious or grossly distorted. Be guided by the old proverb, which says that "The dog barks - the caravan moves on."
If they want to, they will return, they will ask for forgiveness, but whether to forgive them is up to you!

• I will say right away that no forgiveness (on your part) will help, there is a sad experience in this regard. You need to grit your teeth, take in more air and forward to the embrasures.

  I was helped by a contract service for a period of one year. At the hot spot. I advise you to just live and remember that there are people who do not wish you well, and that's it.

  You will become simply angrier to life.

• Try to understand and forgive, because if you hold a grudge in your heart, you will harm yourself. It won’t be possible to relieve the pain right away, I know from my own experience, so it’s worth doing something so as not to think about betrayal (this is my job).

  Time will pass and you will not remember it so sharply.

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At first it was hard, but now it’s not and it’s not necessary, I didn’t want to! Live on and do not pay attention, do not worry. Find new friends. If they want to, they will return, they will ask for forgiveness, but whether to forgive them is up to you! Maybe you should understand the situation, look at it from a different angle? If in fact this is a betrayal, then some new activity or hobby can help you.

Once upon a time, I felt bad and I went to study at a driving school and completely occupied my time and my thoughts with this. The main thing is not to think constantly about betrayal. Your life goes on and it is beautiful! Believe it and strive for the best! Hold on! Good luck! I will say right away that no forgiveness (on your part) will help, there is a sad experience in this regard.

You need to grit your teeth, take in more air and forward to the embrasures. I was helped by a contract service for a period of one year. At the hot spot.

Hello my dear readers. Sometimes things happen in life that make it hard to come to terms with. It's especially hard if you didn't expect it at all. In this state, it is very easy to become depressed, lose interest in life, become apathetic and insecure. Therefore, today I would like to talk about what to do if you have been betrayed by a loved one.

defensive position

It is not always possible for a person to predict a bad event. Usually hope for a positive outcome. Especially when it comes to romantic relationships. I doubt that when a young man meets a girl, falls in love, they start an affair, he thinks every day before going to bed: well, when will she stick a knife in my back?

People want to be happy and that is why they do not expect bad things. Except for those who have already stumbled upon betrayal several times. I have a friend who, in principle, does not trust people. As a child, his parents abandoned him, then his best friend took his wife away, and the second wife ran away with all the common savings. Today he takes a defensive stance. Like, you don’t trust anyone, you don’t expect anything good from anyone, which means that they can’t hurt either.

There is also an opposite example in my practice. One woman from time to time stumbles upon wicked men. One beat her, the other stole money, the third almost managed to deprive her of the apartment, and so on. Each new lover is worse than the last. But she continues to believe and hope for a miracle.

To be honest, both of these options are not the most acceptable cases for a happy future. One has closed and can easily miss its fate, while the second continues to ignore some elementary clues that a person is not the most honest.

A happy person is somewhere in the middle between these two examples. He trusts people, but doesn't let them get too close at first. And he follows up very well. After all, it is actions that speak about a person, not his words.

Revenge is served cold

I have never been a supporter of vindictive people. To be honest, I never took revenge myself and did not advise anyone to do this. Of course, it is very difficult to be in a situation of betrayal, the soul hurts, an endless stream of tears, you wake up at night because you start to suffocate.

But for me it was never a reason to take revenge on a person. Especially if I loved him or still love him. Of course, you can say a lot about emotion, everything breaks inside and sometimes you just want to hit a person well.
I believe that there are more interesting ways to show a person that everything is fine with you and thereby prick him harder.

One of my friends was the victim of betrayal by the man she loved. He left her for a younger one, although they were about to get married. She was in a very dangerous condition for a month that her sister came from another city to live with her. And one fine day I woke up and realized that I wanted to continue living, that I wanted to find my happiness.

She got a job, changed her wardrobe, became a regular in beauty salons, and six months later she was unrecognizable. It was a real one that struck men with its beauty on the spot. And then one day we were sitting in a restaurant, celebrating the birthday of a mutual friend, when suddenly, out of nowhere, our former beauty flashed on the horizon. He came up to say hello with stunned eyes. He asked to meet, but she answered with a categorical refusal. So, he still calls her and begs for a meeting.

Here, in my opinion, is the best example of something to prove to your offender. Girls, let the man you love see you happy, beautiful, in love with life and greatly regret that he left you then. The same story will easily play into the hands of young people. Revenge concentrates you on the object of betrayal, freezes you in this state and does not let go.

Forgiveness

Forgiving someone who betrayed you is very difficult. Sometimes I would even say that it is impossible. But over time, peace comes and at this moment it is very important to let go of the situation and live on. I'm not talking about the forgiveness you give a person and take it back. No. I'm talking about your inner forgiveness.

First, forgive yourself. For the fact that such a catastrophe occurred in your life, that you fell for the tricks of a traitor, that you did not notice, perhaps, obvious facts. Forgive yourself and let yourself move on.

Second, forgive the person who offended you. For yourself, inside. Forgive him and let him go. Let him live with this feeling. Don't take on all this negativity. This is probably the hardest one. And that moment does not come very soon. Time should pass, you will calm down, emotions will subside and then you can forgive.

Think about yourself first. To punish a traitor is the work of fate, life and chance, not yours. Your task is to make your life happy, filled, harmonious and the way you want. It doesn’t matter if you are a girl or an adult man, a woman with children or a youth, be sure that you still have your whole life ahead of you and you will meet so many interesting things along the way.

If you feel that you cannot cope and cannot find answers to important questions - we will analyze the situation together and find a solution.

What to do

But when such a story happened, you always ask yourself: how to survive this? To be honest, it all depends on you. If you want to solve the situation, you will definitely find a way to do it. I sometimes think that people like to suffer too much. Especially in our country.

Remember that you can always turn to a specialist for help. If you understand that you are starting to get stuck in this story and cannot cope on your own, then a good psychologist will definitely help you. It will help to survive the initial stage, when the world is falling apart, to reach a new level, and in addition, to become a happy person.

In addition, you can throw yourself into work. Relaxing is a good option. When your head is busy with other things, then you simply have no time to think about what happened. But remember that after work you will come home, where there will be walls and you. And that's where all these thoughts can catch up with you.

It is very important for a person to speak out. If you have good ones, they can always listen to you and give you advice that might help you. The less time you spend alone in the beginning, the less chance you have of getting lost in your own thoughts on the subject.

If you are currently in a difficult situation, you have been betrayed and you do not know what to do, contact me for help. Together we will cope with any situation, overcome all the troubles and reach a new level. You will become a happy, contented and joyful person.

I am sure that everything in your life will be wonderful. Patience and strength!

Probably, indeed, betrayal is the worst thing that can be. Betrayal of friends, relatives, those whom we do not doubt, those whom we trust without hesitation. It's like losing the earth under our feet and the sky above our heads, because those whom we trust, after all, they are our earth and our sky.

Isn't it stupid to uproot a good old tree in order to hopefully stick a dubious market seedling in its place. Isn't it stupid to torment the good old, whether it be wives or leaders, for the sake of their naive hopes.

Understanding, sympathy, kindness, love are the only ideals. And when we betray them, we become what we despise. And we lose our humanity, and then after us in the world there is only violence and destruction.

Loyalty in love is entirely a matter of physiology, it does not depend on our will at all. Young people want to be faithful - and they don't, old people would like to change, but where can they be.

Betrayal of a man is not treason. Betrayal is not that he left for another. Betrayal - when the fact that you are pregnant ... he will tell you to go for an abortion.

Thanks to those who left me in difficult times. You have made me stronger. So much stronger that it's better for us not to cross paths.

Reliability is a stigma, for the acquisition of which it is necessary to do some dirty trick.

Never forgive change. Any betrayal is a comparison, a search for something better than you have. He who seeks the best will never appreciate what he has...

We must remember that those things that bring you a lot of money will betray you sooner or later.

He who has sold his homeland also sells himself.

What could be more humiliating for the betrayer than the realization that they were not able to properly use his betrayal.

Kings know no more about the affairs of their ministers than cuckolds know about the affairs of their wives.

Don Juan is the one who cheats on a woman, but not on women.

It's a shame when you are a Judas, and they sell you like Christ.

Betrayal, destroying hope and faith, kills love.

That physical betrayal is only a consequence of spiritual betrayal. For people who have given each other love have no right to lie.

Nothing in the world smells so good as the corpse of an enemy, a traitor or a traitor.

Love is not a matter of morality. But feeling knows no betrayal. It grows, disappears, changes - where is the betrayal? It's not a contract.

To whom chastity is a burden, he should not be advised of it, lest it become a path to hell, turning into filth and lust of the soul.

Whoever is alive waits in vain for the praise of the arrogant crowd. Only the devotion of friends is the treasure of the lords, It is more beautiful than all the riches of the world.

The most cruel, the most evil and intolerant of their opponents are traitors and renegades.

He is capable of any deception who is accustomed to making white out of black and black out of white.

Keep me, Lord, from those I trust. Whom I do not believe - I will beware of those myself.

Betrayal, like the law, has no retroactive effect.

When your head is turned, it is difficult to notice the moment when your neck has already been turned.

It is pointless to kill petty traitors in a state where the government itself consists of traitors.

Love and friendship - this is what you have to endure betrayal and betrayal.

The first betrayal is irreparable. It sets off a chain reaction of further betrayals, each of which moves us further and further away from the point of our original betrayal.

Forgiving betrayal is little different from betrayal itself.

He already left you once and will leave you again. You can't depend on people who let you down.

Believing the vows of a traitor is like believing the piety of the devil.

The biggest competition is in the market for salable skins.

Every backstab has its own face.

You can't betray one to protect the many.

Closest to the body is a selling skin.

Is there even one person who has never betrayed? Loyalty - exclusively canine quality!

The betrayal of the people closest to us kills us slowly, very slowly... It seems to rip off the skin from your entire being... you can live without a soul, you can live without a hand... but without skin? When your body is one continuous wound?

He was a personality, he betrayed - he became a circumlocution.

Betrayal can take many forms. A loved one who has an affair on the side, a close friend who spreads bad rumors about you, a business partner who ran away with money and left you to deal with creditors are just a few typical examples.

In my work, I come across such stories from time to time, and what strikes me most is the emotional reaction it causes in those who have become its victims. It inflicts wounds, confidence crumbles to dust, and shame often hides under rage and amazement.

Some react to betrayal by hiding from the world and avoiding communication altogether. Sometimes they try to keep the fact a secret - especially when it comes to personal life. A victim of adultery may be reluctant to make the incident public for fear of public stigma.

Isolation dooms us to loneliness and alienation, which can eventually lead to depression.

The one who was betrayed is not to blame for what happened, but may feel responsible for it and feel shame. In therapy, I often ask clients, “Why are you so ashamed? Did you cheat/steal/lied/spread rumors?

By hiding from others information about an event that is painful for us, we thereby deprive ourselves of the opportunity to receive support or see what happened from a different point of view. Because of this, we begin to blame ourselves for being naive or to argue that we ourselves provoked the betrayal. Isolation dooms us to loneliness and alienation, which can eventually lead to depression. But to successfully heal trauma, we need just the opposite.

How to heal from the trauma of betrayal and regain confidence?

1. Allow yourself to process what happened. Some take action immediately, but it's perfectly fine to give yourself time before reacting. This is especially important if you have thoughts of revenge.

2. Take care of yourself- both physically and emotionally. Eat right, exercise, get enough sleep, and be kind to yourself.

3. Try to protect yourself from further damage, which the "traitor" can inflict on you. For example, if a business partner turned out to be financially unscrupulous, deal with financial issues as quickly as possible. If you have been cheated on, but you have decided not to break off relations yet, protect yourself from possible diseases.

4. Share your experiences with someone you trust. It's not the time to hide. Communicate more often with those who appreciate you, know your best qualities well and will help you not to drop your self-esteem.

5. Don't take the blame for what happened. Remind yourself why you were in a relationship with this person and what you hoped for. Show compassion for yourself, remembering that betrayal is quite common and many have experienced it.

Sometimes after it it seems that we can no longer trust anyone. It is important to maintain relationships with people who can help us, communication with whom gives us strength and brings joy. Do not let what happened destroy your relationship with those who have never done anything wrong to you. Try to find time every day to talk about something pleasant and positive.

Recovery from betrayal will take time. During this period, it is important to treat yourself with maximum kindness and attention. You deserve it.