Tip-exercise 3. Change the environment If new ideas are not born in your usual environment - at home or at work - go to another place where you can calmly think alone with yourself. Take a notepad and pen (not a laptop or a tablet - you will need to write

Manipulation can be divided into low-level and high-level. Low-level manipulation is what we mean when we say “make it do.” It is low-level because it is carried out at lower logical levels. All sorts of gypsy tricks, when people understand that they are being manipulated, but cannot resist, as well as banal blackmail and insistence, belong here. As a rule, in the case of this manipulation, a person knows what they want from him, but does not want it himself.

As a result of high-level manipulation, on his own initiative. He may want this, think that it is necessary, or achieve his goals in this way; this is completely unimportant. It is important that if you try to stop him, he will tell you that you should not disturb him and will continue his work. Because he has reasons or goals for doing it and he believes in them.

If you are unhappy with the place you occupy, change it. You are not a tree!
Jim Rohn

The nature of high-level manipulation is to create a “reality” for a person to believe in. And it doesn’t have to be a completely different reality. It is enough to create just a few key details that will determine the rest of reality. How is this possible? We'll talk about this later.

Due to the fact that a person does not have eyes at the back of his head, the following rule applies to him: a person sees what he looks at. That is, he chooses what to see by turning his head or in some other way. And at the same time, as studies have shown, a person, perceiving the world around him, receives only 20% of information from the outside, and completes 80% from memory.

The question arises: what determines where a person looks, and with what information does he complete the missing 80%? We must have some guiding criteria and ?

Yes, these are our unconscious goals, values ​​and beliefs. Unconscious goals, that is, our desires and interests, guide our attention in everyday movement. The work of this mechanism is especially noticeable in supermarkets and shopping centers, and it is extremely funny to watch how people struggle between unconscious goals and conscious ones. The outcome varies.

Conscious goals exist thanks to beliefs, by virtue of which we know what is right and what is wrong and how to act and what not to do.

Beliefs direct our attention in the same way as desires and interests, only through a conscious path. And they help complete 80% of the picture of the world. Conviction in something is the knowledge that “this is so,” and it is quite logical to build on what you know, and not invent it.

If we are convinced that our colleague is a grabber, we will know that all his behavior is grabby, and, accordingly, we will see this in his every action. Naturally, every person does something for himself, but if you notice only the above-mentioned actions in a person, then the conviction that he is a grabber will very quickly become established. And this happens with all beliefs.

Values ​​are our “beacons” in life. What we attach the most importance to. If you don’t take into account small values ​​like favorite gifts, then they are, as a rule, common among people of the same culture. Everyone values ​​life, love, recognition, and happiness, but to varying degrees. And this difference in people’s value hierarchies creates a feeling of difference in their values ​​in general (the effect of completion) and, as a consequence, in people’s perceptions. That's why people often find themselves.

So, returning to high-level manipulation. To create for a person the reality that we need, it is enough to change his attention filters so that he simply begins to look and notice other things in his environment and complete reality based on other beliefs. And all that is needed for this is to “promote” new interests and desires to him, focusing on his own values, and “build in” several beliefs for him. But in most cases, to get the desired result, all you need to do is change some of his beliefs. And you can learn this.

The main thing is not to forget that manipulation in itself is not something bad. It's just a tool. We all manipulate each other to one degree or another. But when consciously manipulating, you must understand that you are taking responsibility for everything that happens to this person after your actions. So be very careful. It is very easy to cause harm, but then correcting the consequences is quite difficult, and sometimes simply impossible...

For those who dream or plan to move:
1) “To move, you need to pack your suitcase and move!” This aphorism once helped a lot
The point is, don’t think too long, you’ll go crazy! For a month I looked at a piece of paper divided in half with minuses and pluses, and it gave me nothing. ;)You must know the risks and opportunities, but make allowances for the fact that it is impossible to foresee everything. Trust your heart, it is less likely to make mistakes.
2) The final decision has been made, we begin to save money. They must be at least 50 thousand before the first salary (if the first home is without an agent and a deposit).
3) Decide on a profession (relevant for those who have several or several degrees). Of course, you can search for everything at once, but it’s better to search purposefully.
4) The most serious problem is housing. You need to find something temporary while still in your city. Then look for a job, then find housing closer to work. In my opinion, in that order.
5) Finish all your work, buy everything you need for the first time, especially important with shoes - running to 3 interviews a day will be oh, how difficult it is!;)
6) Job search. I think it’s pointless to look for her from your city, the exception is that you occupy a very good position and they invite you to move. It’s better to search on the spot. Sending out your resume a month in advance is also of little use.
7) So, you moved. It is better to leave the day of arrival free (ideally if it is Sunday). On my first unsuccessful move to Moscow, I managed to go to 3 (!!!) interviews after a sleepless night on the train, and in the end I hated the capital;) You can take care of other issues (connect a new number, internet, send out a resume)
8) Job search. The main thing here is patience, you can’t do without it. The less experience you have or the lower your position, the more refusals there are. You will have to recover very quickly from such mistakes; there will be no time to build up. You can get together with the help of your willpower and the support of loved ones. Moreover, it is not necessary that you have someone in the new city. Now there are a lot of opportunities for communication! We need people who will say repeatedly that everything will work out, it will definitely work out. This is the most difficult stage, everyone goes through it, everyone gives up, but we have to endure. ;) at this stage you need to switch off - a hobby will help. I had dances that simply saved me from sad thoughts. You shouldn’t grab the first job you come across; wait for the one you want to take. Moreover, you must present it clearly. Websites hh.ru and superjob.ru
9) A job is found, the search for housing begins, if in some way you are not satisfied with the first housing or it was temporary. The most popular site is cian.ru If you rent an apartment, there are fewer problems. There are a lot of nuances in a room, it’s impossible to foresee everything, the documents are most often not in order, so if you listen only to your mind, you can end up homeless. But there is a lot of deception.
10) The biggest problem of those who have arrived in large numbers is the absence of loved ones in the new city. And if you think that you will quickly acquire new ones, then you are deeply mistaken. Yes, there will be acquaintances, but for them to become close, time must pass. Clean up your social circle. Keep only those you want in your life.
11) Time and energy are the greatest values ​​in Moscow. You need to learn how to save them and spend them wisely.
12) And lastly, this is the main thing, you must love Moscow, without this point you can’t.
P.S. And don't be afraid of anything. “Now I live where I was born, and after returning, I will live where I wanted to return. These are different things.” (c) Max Fry

If you are unhappy with the place you occupy, change it! You are not a tree! Jim Rohn I think you have often asked the question “Why is this happening? Why do I have such a husband/such a wife? Why do I have such a child/mother/brother? Why do I have this job? Why am I not happy with my life? Who is to blame for this? And why are there people who are doing well, everything is the way they want?”

Let's try to answer the question together: “Who is to blame for the fact that you don’t like your life?”

First, I’ll ask you a counter question: “Is it so important to look for someone to blame?” Well, you found it, what next? We express to the guilty person everything we think about him, thereby spoiling the relationship, without thinking at all about: “How will this help me improve my life?” We were brought up in such a way that someone else is to blame... The main thing for us is to express everything that is boiling, everything that is painful and everything that comes to mind at the moment! We do not think about the consequences and the meaning of the words spoken. We always blame someone: fashion, weather, government, wife, boss, genes, etc. Why?

So, I’ll tell you a secret, the root cause of our problems is COMPLAINT and the search for those to blame! When we find them, we automatically relieve ourselves of responsibility for this task. Because we begin to think about how to explain and prove to a person that he is GUILTY, and not about how to solve this problem ourselves.

After all, what is our life? Our life is our thoughts, our actions, our deeds and, as a result of all this, our happiness or unhappiness!

When we look for the culprit, we usually find it. But this does not change the situation. Ask yourself a question: why am I looking for someone to blame, and why do I want to prove to a person that HE IS GUILTY? What will this give me? Where will this take me? By answering honestly, you will understand the meaninglessness of your actions and realize that you are simply living your life in vain.

Why waste your precious time trying to prove that someone is at fault and not you?
Accusations do not change our lives; more often they become even worse, and we again continue to blame and complain. Wouldn't it be better to take responsibility and ask yourself some open-ended, forward-looking questions? Here are some of them:

How COULD I attract this situation?
How CAN I stop this?
How CAN I change this?
What does this situation teach ME?
Why was it given to ME?

Why don't you ask yourself such questions?

I understand, because by answering this question, you will see WHO is really responsible for your life. By blaming others, by taking offense at others, by proving something to someone, you are going nowhere! After all, everything that surrounds you now was created by you yourself. The root cause of problems is YOU! Admit it. Even if it is very difficult to do, take responsibility for your problems!

What can you change to make it better?
If you are unhappy with your
life - change your actions!
Unknown author

Sit in a calm environment, concentrate and answer yourself the question:

- Where am I going?
- What do I want?
- What kind of relationship do I want?
- How can I achieve this?
- What am I doing wrong?
- What are you willing to do to improve your life?
- How would you like to live next?

1. Answer the questions honestly, be honest with yourself.
2. Make a plan for yourself to improve the situation now.
3. Take small steps now. Call and make peace with your friend/brother, make an appointment with the doctor.
4. Write a list of things you have been wanting to do for a long time. Read a book. Talk to your family, listen to them.

I am sure that any problem can be solved with open questions, honest answers and sincere actions!

The most important thing is that after reading the article, do not close the tab and calmly go on complaining, but right now start DOING something to improve your life! Let it be small steps, centimeter by centimeter, but you will come to what you want. The most important thing is to START.

If you want, do 10 squats right now and spend the evening walking.

If you dream of a strong family, write right now what doesn’t suit you and what steps you can take today to change the situation in the family.

If you don't have enough money, start studying books about financial independence and building your new relationship with money bit by bit.

And so on for every question. Before you do anything, ask yourself, how does this action bring me closer to my goals?

What if you don’t want to do this? Tired, bored, hard. So here is the answer to your question. If you really wanted to change your life, you would have moved mountains a long time ago!

True desire is a thousand possibilities, and reluctance is a thousand reasons!
And since everything suits you, then live, enjoying life, drinking beer in the evenings, lying on the couch in front of the TV. Scolding my husband and son, and not complaining about anything. Especially for life.

But it’s better to thank life for giving you the chance to live so many wonderful moments on earth!